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About The news-review. (Roseburg, Or.) 1948-1994 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 25, 1949)
2 Th.Nwi.Rtvitw,Rotbu,g,or f,., Nor. 2s, w9 Aqe Theory Of "Best Lovers" Evokes Volleys Of Derision From Distaff f , ' " it 1 By HAL BOYLE NEW YORK, OB The main thing wrong with American woman hood li women. ' A man who triei 4o do these forlorn daughter! of. Eve a favor is Just a moon calf. It always backfires on him. Particularly is a mere man foolish to try to give them any advice in the magic realm of love. Herewith is a postmortem on a little y 1 ft 4 ' - Knowing that l'amour is a wom an's whole existence, I checked to see if I couldn I find them a shortcut in this field to save wear and tear on their claws. My Inquiry disclosed that Dr. Kinsey to the contrary the f reatest lovers are men in their Os. This truth was confirmed hy Dorothy Dix and the fact that the eight top-drawing male firm stars are all 40 plus. You would think that this dis covery would be hailed by the ladies as a great time saver for them. No longer need they waste their own romantic prime trying to rob a teen-age cradle or mak ing goo-goo eyes at civil war veterans. They could go ahead and concentrate on their real prey the men of two score years and slightly more. Derision Follows But wha' hoppen? My research reaped only a crop of feminine catcalls of deri sion. I have space for only two. Jeered a widow in Hutchinson, Kan.: "Romantic old devils nothing they're conceited old puppies. "The 40 to 50-year-old daddy with the cash might have a chance. But he'd be lucky if he found one young girl in a hard row of stumps willing to make the sacrifice and put up with his indigestion, bad breath" please, ladv! "false teeth, bald head and a dozen other ailments." And the dear old widow con cluded Joyously: "Daddv. oh daddy. I knows what I is talking about. I took a couple of old pot bellies to a good cleaning myself when I was a bewitching young lady, rant tnis and give the old pot bellies some thing to think about." An equal hoot came from a 34-year-old wife in Ashland, Ky.( who said her husband was 33 "and I wouldn't wish him to be one day older. "Just where vou old men get the idea you are attractive is a mystery to me. "Let me tell you why the popu lar men film stars are over 40. These men are made up to look young, they are excellent actors and they don't have bald heads and potbellies. And, last but not least, the girls don't have to touch their loose, flabby cheeks." (Editor's note: She has you there, Boyle.) (Boyle's note: A girl that fas tidious -can always wear cotton work gloves.) And the Ashland wife wound up thus: "Don't ever think any young clrl marries an old man for his sex appeal. It is always for his dollars or acres appeal. The sooner men find this out, the hap pier they will be." All l can say to these ladles Is SHEETROCK West Coast. Building Supply Co. Mill and Mother Bill Neighbor! Phone 362 Jay Clark go bark at Vice President Bark-. today you or the widow from ley, dearies. Who is m Shangri-La I Missouri? MAKE YOUR HOME MORE LIVEABLE, NOW! LOOK 5-ft. cast Iron bath tubs, only $75.00. . Plumbing fittings, fixtures, accessories - ' Galvanized Water Pipe Soil Pipe 30, 42 and 52-gal. Coliint Water Heaters Everything for the Farm and Home BUY WHERE YOU SHARE IN. THE SAVINGS DOUGLAS COUNTY Farm Bureau Co-Operative Exchange ROSEBURG, OREGON ' Phone 98 Located W. Washington St. and S. P. R. R. Track! MURDERER CAPTURED Fred Stroble, 67, center, confessed to the ax-killing of Linda Joyce Clucoft, 6, after his capture in downtown Pershing Square in Los Angeles according to District Attorney William E. Simpson. Stroble it held by two detectives a few minutes after he was identified and turned over to police. A towel deliveryman, Joe Miller, recognized Stroble from news paper pictures and turned him over to a traffic officer, Arnold Carlson. (NEA Telephoto). Helicopter Rotor Cuts Off Legs Of Two Naval. Men BREMERTON, Nov. Two men whose legs were am nutated in Alaska by a whirling helicopter rotor were in the naval hospital here today. One of them, Jesse L. Allen, 35, was formerly a professional bal ,let dancer. The rotor also clipped off a thumb and Index finger. He Is from San Lorenzo, Calif. The other victim was Dale A. Lynch, 20, of Laurel Springs, N.J. Both legs of both men were slashed off Just below the knees. The men said a sudden gust of wind caught the craft as it was taking off at a Navy recreation camp near Kodiak Nov. 9. The gust caused the helicopter to pitch sideways. "One minute we were standing there watching the takeoff," said Allen, "the next we had no legs." Both men will be transferred to the Navy's amputation cen ter at Mare island, (Jain. OIL TO BURN For prompt courteous meter ed deliveries of high quality itove and burner oil MYERS OIL CO. Distributors of Hancock Petroltum Products For Douglas County IF YOU WANT A SH0CK-PR000F WATCH, BUY A KB . L lY AT mm A WYLER WAS THROWN FROM THE KRNR TOWER AT THE FALL OPENING See and hear "Mr. Dixieland" and the original BOBCATS Kennedy' ... Dec. 4th . Sponsored by the Jayceet Tickets at Lawson't Kennedy' ... Dec. 4th I Xf Xrftf Sponsored by the Jayceet mmJmmV&9fj Ticket at Lawson't ' . V" : Y. This watch is still running... see V it on display in LAWSON'S window. 4, a CALL T52 I I ' - - f ' fjn2lfGr . . Guaranteed by I ' ' I U 1 A yBi . j n.88 1 a gsSm r. - PfSYp S1JJ. J.I'J3P.. il I ' DROP IT! I jP jL, HOc W1 WET,T! XmW , x U V pr. I SMASH IT! L wmm$ y 11 I I Ladies' Shock-Resistant ms I B 1 ' Wear It for Sports, for Work for Dress r J ML i B Wear It for everything .' . . with the assurance of enduring time keeping accuracy. This (TaJt inciUded) 1 0 4 fllf I ri watch was thrown from the KRNR tower and Is still running perfectly ... . it's on display in 1 T&seJv -FJ Flf) f j our window. It will prove to you that you can't damage a Wyler watch! ip Ml) I: ' x , ,m:Stl III W IWqPmir-VsJsjtB mtrw WWff KM M m tSl i S I , WW o Ml 1fcViii.irm wa JSrr I wmm Ky ' rVJL. team , nrwuiwini i r u i . I jry7 rr.imrJ I AfeiU-' emit a ay'tt "a i Friday Folly Some stores have Friday Surprises, but at Jack Farlss and Son you ara never surprised at high prlooi, but are aotually shooked on how you can buy high quality merchandise at such scan dalously low prices every day. Not Just on Friday . . . BUT EVERY DAY ... But here Is our Farlis Friday Folly for this week. Unfinished Chest' 29 inches high 5 drawers Every home needs extra chest's tor storage. At this low price you can have one that will fill your needs. Buy It Friday Nile, between 6 and 9 P. M. (Similar to Illustration) ' Regular Price Folly Price CANVAS WORK GLOVES Heavy Canvas Regularly 39c Pair FOLLY PRICE Limit 2 Pair Visit our T0YLAND Toys, toys, and more toys. Toys for your little one. The kind that will reallv please are yours at our TOYLAND, Remember our TOYLAND Is open every night until 8 P. M. and until 9 P, M. Krldav. Plan on visiting and selecting the toys you want to give today or tomorrow but don'i delay too long. Christmas Is rushing towards us dally. Kluver Radio Service open 'til 9 for your convenience Store No. 2 Next to Wolly'. (fr tfl ftV i.'1 ' H WWiflil : " V. Phon. 1371-R K if Mil lOf gjSlgoiNg Ug6 WMMWil Dr.,. w,.r Opn Every Night Til 8 p.m. and , UjI llll V"5L- "l . II Mt; 'V OOTC U DOWN, A WEEK I I- PJ ' ; (T" Included), MMHHHHHHHHMHnaM i fcpjaBBBBMWM,.j,,a.,J.,.,.,B