The united American : a magazine of good citizenchip., December 01, 1925, Page 20, Image 20

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DECEMBER 1925
THE UNITED AMERICAN
with the best mental food you will build up a Service Factory sure, she rather likes it; but venture to say to a woman that
she has something in common with a cat and she will hate
that will find its product in constant demand.
The world is hungry for Quality Service^ It wants to pay you for it. Well, women are rather queer.
Then, if you should call a man a gay dog, it will flatter him;
for it. It is paying for all it can get. The market is not
crowded. There is a chance for you right now. There is a but just call him a pup, a hound, or a cur, and he will try to
chance for you right where you are. The time to start is alter the map of your face. Not a man will remonstrate should
you call him a bull or a bear, yet he will object to being men­
Now. Your reward will take care of itself.
tioned as a calf or a cub. And there it is — men are queer, too.
EARTH’S GREATER ARMY
A COMPOUND OF FOOL’S DELIGHT
Cleveland News
OU HEAR the rumbling of an organization that in days to
O OBTAIN a perfect compound of “Fool’s Delight” the
come will be the most powerful in the world, and that is the
recipe calls for one regular natural born fool to which add
organization of “radio listeners.”
two or three drinks of bootleg liquor (the ordinary moonshine
There are 5,000,000 radio sets in the United States today, variety) and mix the two in a high-power motor car. After
costing $500,000,000 and those 5,000,000 sets undoubtedly have the drinks have taken effect and the fool has become soused
more than 25,000,000 of listeners.
and thoroughly hilarious, indicating a sufficiently befuddled
There you have the possibilities of such an organization as brain to insure total recklessness, place the fool’s foot on the
the world has never seen.
gasoline-feeding devise and release all brakes. After a while
For the first time in the world’s history, outside of the remove fool from wreckage, place in black satin-lined box
printed word, it becomes possible for one man to be heard and garnish with flowers.
by all of the people at the same time.
. An ancient Greek said that a nation could not remain free
A “GENTLEMAN” DEFINED
when it became so big that its citizens could not all meet in
Anon.
the public square, hear the speakers and protect their interests.
A man who is clean both inside and outside; who neither
Today 115,000,000 of people can hear the president of the
United States speak at the same time, and in a few years it looks up to the rich nor down to the poor; who can lose with­
will be possible for one man to be heard by every human out squealing and win without bragging; who is considerate
to women, children and old people; who is too brave to lie,
being on earth.
The difficulty will be to find anybody worthy of such an too generous to cheat; and who takes his share of the world,
audience. The first step will be a universal language, and and lets other people have theirs.
it will not be any fancy made-to-order language.
One of the existing languages will crowd out the others,
THE WELL-DRESSED WOMAN
and English, made up of many languages, Latin, Greek,
(Detroit News)
Sanskrit, Arabic, Saxon and many others, has the best chance
When you go to church Sunday morning look for the
just now.
best-dressed woman, present. It’s a bet that you will find
her with a neat, small bonnet and a neat, plain costume.
HUMAN EVENTS AND POLITICAL BANDS
When in the course of human events
“PUSH THE BUTTON” AND GET THE BATH
It becomes necessary for a people
“Push the button and a living room swings around to face
To dissolve political bands tied by politicians
Who have utterly forgotten how they tied them—and why you. Then push another button an<d the guest bedroom rolls
into view.”
they tied them,
That is the way the advertising of a Berlin builder might
And to assume, in the sight of mankind,
read. He has invented a revolving flat. By standing at the
The sensible station to which the laws of nature
edge of the flat and throwing a switch the housewife brings
And of nature’s God entitle them,
the desired room around to face her. Then she does her work,
A decent regard for their own common sense
Requires that they should do those things which ought to steps back and turns on the next room, so to speak.
Like the diminutive kitchenette apartment in this country,
be done
And undo those things which ought never to have been done; the revolving flat has been invented in Germany as a solution
to the housing and servant shortage problems.
And that the truth is certainly self-evident
That quarrels over quibbles and tense touchiness over
technicalities
THRIFT IN INDIA
Should not be allowed to bust the inalienable rights of a
Banking institutions in India have increased from 55 in 1917
mountain stream to run down hill,
to 167 in 1923, the total number of banking offices, branches
Nor of wise folks to guide its flow to their own benefit,
and agencies rising from 304 to 572 during that period as a
Nor to allow Congressmen to obstruct the administration result of a thrift movement. The Imperial Bank, moreover,
of sound economies.
has embarked on a five-year program for establishing 100
additional branches by 1926. The habit of saving is also
NATION OF READERS
encouraged by the postal banks, of which there were 10,713
More than 2,300 newspapers are printed every day in the in 1921. This year 1,877,957 depositors are reported, with
United States, and the total of weeklies and other news pub­ 256,500,000 rupees on deposit.
lications is over 20,000. New York leads with 200 dailies, and
Pennsylvania is second with 184. California has 181 and
BANANAS HEAD THE LIST
Illinois 160.
More than half the expenditures of the people of this
country for foreign fruits in 1924 were lavished upon bananas;
NEW YORK’S FIG TREE
the value of banana imports reached $22,074,410, as compared
New York’s Botanical Garden has a fig tree growing out of with $19,738,508 in 1923. Americans, particularly Bostonians,
doors. While still too young to bear fruit, the tree appears to own most of the banana plantations in this hemisphere.
be thriving. It was presented to the garden by one of the
members of the Society.
Be neither too early in the fashion, nor too long out of it;
nor at any time in the extremes of it.
—Lavater.
JUST A STATE OF MIND
We may learn from children how large a part our
UST TRY to call a girl a chick and notice how she smiles.
But should you make the mistake of calling her a hen, she grievances are imaginary. But the pain is just as real.—Bovee.
would frighten you with her howls. Call a young woman a
witch and she will be, oh, so pleased: call an old woman a witch
William H. Anderson’s new organization, the A. P. P. P. P.
and promptly she is indignant. Call a girl a kitten and, to be A., sounds like a riveting machine working overtime.
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