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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (April 21, 2021)
Wednesday, April 21, 2021 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon Grief in tough times By T. Lee Brown Correspondent The death of a loved one. A global pandemic. Senseless violence. An attack on our nation. Sisters Country has experienced waves of col- lective grief in the last year. Along with the national-level issues, we faced tragic acci- dents, economic struggles, extreme fires and smoke, and health problems. Carrying high levels of stress pushed some people to their limits. Some of us snapped and said regret- table things. Some parted ways with friends, family, churches, charities, and busi- nesses over differences in politics, COVID safety, or equity. Some kicked up a fuss on their way out. Others unfriended, blocked, or ghosted without a whisper. That9s a whole lot of loss to process. <Grief is so personal and so subjective, and grieving is such a touchy subject,= said Katie Diez, whose Comfort Seeds project engages with grief (see article, page 3). She describes grief as a <lonely place to be, even if we9re in a group that9s experienced loss together.= Here she shares what helps her: Spending time outside <Getting out in nature is one of the biggest things that helped me,= said Diez. <Get my hands in the dirt, walk on the dirt, touch a tree, observe what is happening in nature. You certainly see the cycle of life as you go through the seasons.= Accepting Diez believes it helps to understand that whatever you9re feeling at any given moment is <not unusual, that it9s normal, really truly 4whether you9re feeling intense sadness or even joy.= Dark humor came naturally to Diez after her father9s death. <I made some jokes in the throes of grief, much to people9s [shock]. All of it is normal. We go in and out of all those stages at our own pace and in our own time.= Feeling heard Finding an ear can help: <someone to listen, not to give you advice, but to listen.= It can be a prob- lem when well-intentioned friends say they understand what you9re going through because, for example, their cat died. <People try to con- nect, to show empathy,= with such statements, but Diez said comparisons can feel hurtful. Being generous Watching people go through collective grief on social media, Diez noticed that there9s a tendency to judge how others experience loss. <If someone is finding a lot of gratitude, that may be a lifeline for them, not 8toxic positivity9& it9s part of their grieving process,= she noted. On the other hand, there are folks <who just really need to say, 8This sucks!9 and really embrace that reality.= Either way is okay. Diez recom- mends that everyone <be generous in our assumptions and our judgments toward each other through this time.= Walking the path Writer and farmer Wendell Berry inspired Diez to <find a path, and walk that path.= She thinks about it when she walks Peterson Ridge, which has changed greatly over the years. <He had a hollow, a holler, on his family property that he would walk,= said Diez. Berry watched the land change with the seasons and noticed how the environment changed, which trees fell. <You can watch the nuances of the change, as humans have wrought upon that path, or nature has changed,= Diez noted. <That can be in the city, in the country, anywhere.= Making meaning <There9s some power and value in creating meaning around your grief experi- ence,= said Diez. Meaning- making can arise from a wide variety of activities: story- telling, spiritual practices, CCB#203769 • Re-Roof & New Construction artistic pursuits, helping others, and physical move- ment such as dance or yoga are just a few. Creativity can unlock a sense of purpose as we process our tough times. Being <artistic= is not a pre- requisite. Diez, despite the success of Comfort Seeds, doesn9t consider herself an artist. Writing it down Likewise, being a writer isn9t a requirement for the act of journaling. Diez found that <having paper and pen handy, to be able to journal what- ever comes to mind, has been huge.= Research shows that directed writing in particular can be helpful for those suf- fering a loss. A bereaved per- son might respond to prompts in a grief workbook, for example, writing about cer- tain memories. Growing Gardening through grief has made a big impact on Diez. <It9s kind of an oxy- moron: embracing the imper- manence,= she said, <to hold and to love and to admire, to hold lightly, knowing it will pass.= Every fall, she looks at her dahlias, knowing they could all be gone the next week. Then that fateful day arrives. <Now they are these blackened flowers on these blackened stalks,= she said. <I mourn a little bit for that beauty that has passed. The garden will not look the same next year, it will change, but it will be back.= Finding more help See www.comfortseeds. com/resources for ways to process grief, and help others do so. City COVID-19 relief grants By Sue Stafford Correspondent Small business relief assistance grants totaling $40,000 have been awarded by the City to 17 local businesses that have been severely impacted by the pandemic. In the FY 2020-21 bud- get, the City allocated up to $40,000 for that purpose. On March 10, The City Council approved Resolution 2021- 03 authorizing the Grant Relief Program and desig- nated Sisters Area Chamber of Commerce as the administrator. A grant committee was formed including Councilor Andrea Blum for the City, Judy Trego and Turi Shergold for the Chamber, and Caprielle Foote-Lewis for Sisters Country Economic Development, and program criteria were established. Eligibility required a net operating loss due to COVID-19 of 25 percent or greater (demonstrated by end-of-year financials for 2019 and 2020). Seventeen of 20 applicants qualified, meeting all four of the crite- ria. Because there was some money left over after each business was granted $2,000, the extra was divided among five businesses that had a net operating loss of 50 percent or greater. Those five each received $3,200. Those businesses receiv- ing $2,000 included: Alpaca by Design; Cascade Fitness/ Premier Fitness; Clearwater Gallery; Common Threads Sisters, Inc.; Hardtails Bar & Grill DBA Mullets, Inc.; Cottonwood Café; Metamorphosis Hair Salon; MSKL Investment DBA Mackenzie Creek Mercantile; Shanti Management, LLC DBA Sisters Inn & Suites; Spoons of Sisters, LLC; Suttle Tea, LLC; and Team Rambo Events Electrical, LLC. Businesses receiv- ing $3,200 each included: Belfry Events, LLC; Central Oregon Shows; Gypsy Wind Clothing; Quoin Media & Entertainment, LLC; and Sisters Athletic Club. 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