Wednesday, April 21, 2021 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
Grief in tough times
By T. Lee Brown
Correspondent
The death of a loved one.
A global pandemic. Senseless
violence. An attack on our
nation. Sisters Country has
experienced waves of col-
lective grief in the last year.
Along with the national-level
issues, we faced tragic acci-
dents, economic struggles,
extreme fires and smoke, and
health problems.
Carrying high levels of
stress pushed some people
to their limits. Some of us
snapped and said regret-
table things. Some parted
ways with friends, family,
churches, charities, and busi-
nesses over differences in
politics, COVID safety, or
equity.
Some kicked up a fuss
on their way out. Others
unfriended, blocked, or
ghosted without a whisper.
That9s a whole lot of loss
to process.
<Grief is so personal and
so subjective, and grieving is
such a touchy subject,= said
Katie Diez, whose Comfort
Seeds project engages with
grief (see article, page 3). She
describes grief as a <lonely
place to be, even if we9re in a
group that9s experienced loss
together.= Here she shares
what helps her:
Spending time outside
<Getting out in nature is
one of the biggest things that
helped me,= said Diez. <Get
my hands in the dirt, walk on
the dirt, touch a tree, observe
what is happening in nature.
You certainly see the cycle
of life as you go through the
seasons.=
Accepting
Diez believes it helps to
understand that whatever
you9re feeling at any given
moment is <not unusual,
that it9s normal, really truly
4whether you9re feeling
intense sadness or even joy.=
Dark humor came naturally
to Diez after her father9s
death. <I made some jokes
in the throes of grief, much
to people9s [shock]. All of it
is normal. We go in and out
of all those stages at our own
pace and in our own time.=
Feeling heard
Finding an ear can help:
<someone to listen, not
to give you advice, but to
listen.= It can be a prob-
lem when well-intentioned
friends say they understand
what you9re going through
because, for example, their
cat died. <People try to con-
nect, to show empathy,= with
such statements, but Diez said
comparisons can feel hurtful.
Being generous
Watching people go
through collective grief on
social media, Diez noticed
that there9s a tendency to
judge how others experience
loss. <If someone is finding a
lot of gratitude, that may be
a lifeline for them, not 8toxic
positivity9& it9s part of their
grieving process,= she noted.
On the other hand, there are
folks <who just really need to
say, 8This sucks!9 and really
embrace that reality.= Either
way is okay. Diez recom-
mends that everyone <be
generous in our assumptions
and our judgments toward
each other through this time.=
Walking the path
Writer and farmer Wendell
Berry inspired Diez to <find
a path, and walk that path.=
She thinks about it when she
walks Peterson Ridge, which
has changed greatly over the
years. <He had a hollow, a
holler, on his family property
that he would walk,= said
Diez. Berry watched the land
change with the seasons and
noticed how the environment
changed, which trees fell.
<You can watch the nuances
of the change, as humans
have wrought upon that path,
or nature has changed,= Diez
noted. <That can be in the city,
in the country, anywhere.=
Making meaning
<There9s some power and
value in creating meaning
around your grief experi-
ence,= said Diez. Meaning-
making can arise from a wide
variety of activities: story-
telling, spiritual practices,
CCB#203769
• Re-Roof & New Construction
artistic pursuits, helping
others, and physical move-
ment such as dance or yoga
are just a few. Creativity can
unlock a sense of purpose as
we process our tough times.
Being <artistic= is not a pre-
requisite. Diez, despite the
success of Comfort Seeds,
doesn9t consider herself an
artist.
Writing it down
Likewise, being a writer
isn9t a requirement for the act
of journaling. Diez found that
<having paper and pen handy,
to be able to journal what-
ever comes to mind, has been
huge.= Research shows that
directed writing in particular
can be helpful for those suf-
fering a loss. A bereaved per-
son might respond to prompts
in a grief workbook, for
example, writing about cer-
tain memories.
Growing
Gardening through grief
has made a big impact on
Diez. <It9s kind of an oxy-
moron: embracing the imper-
manence,= she said, <to hold
and to love and to admire, to
hold lightly, knowing it will
pass.= Every fall, she looks
at her dahlias, knowing they
could all be gone the next
week. Then that fateful day
arrives. <Now they are these
blackened flowers on these
blackened stalks,= she said.
<I mourn a little bit for that
beauty that has passed. The
garden will not look the same
next year, it will change, but
it will be back.=
Finding more help
See www.comfortseeds.
com/resources for ways to
process grief, and help others
do so.
City COVID-19
relief grants
By Sue Stafford
Correspondent
Small business relief
assistance grants totaling
$40,000 have been awarded
by the City to 17 local
businesses that have been
severely impacted by the
pandemic.
In the FY 2020-21 bud-
get, the City allocated up to
$40,000 for that purpose. On
March 10, The City Council
approved Resolution 2021-
03 authorizing the Grant
Relief Program and desig-
nated Sisters Area Chamber
of Commerce as the
administrator.
A grant committee was
formed including Councilor
Andrea Blum for the
City, Judy Trego and Turi
Shergold for the Chamber,
and Caprielle Foote-Lewis
for Sisters Country Economic
Development, and program
criteria were established.
Eligibility required a
net operating loss due to
COVID-19 of 25 percent
or greater (demonstrated by
end-of-year financials for
2019 and 2020). Seventeen
of 20 applicants qualified,
meeting all four of the crite-
ria. Because there was some
money left over after each
business was granted $2,000,
the extra was divided among
five businesses that had a net
operating loss of 50 percent
or greater. Those five each
received $3,200.
Those businesses receiv-
ing $2,000 included: Alpaca
by Design; Cascade Fitness/
Premier Fitness; Clearwater
Gallery; Common Threads
Sisters, Inc.; Hardtails
Bar & Grill DBA Mullets,
Inc.; Cottonwood Café;
Metamorphosis Hair Salon;
MSKL Investment DBA
Mackenzie Creek Mercantile;
Shanti Management, LLC
DBA Sisters Inn & Suites;
Spoons of Sisters, LLC;
Suttle Tea, LLC; and Team
Rambo Events Electrical,
LLC.
Businesses receiv-
ing $3,200 each included:
Belfry Events, LLC; Central
Oregon Shows; Gypsy Wind
Clothing; Quoin Media &
Entertainment, LLC; and
Sisters Athletic Club.
City Recorder Kerry
Prosser indicated that, fol-
lowing notification of the
recipients last Friday morn-
ing, she received a number
of very heartfelt responses
from recipients indicating
their gratitude for the extra
help.
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