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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 29, 2020)
Wednesday, January 29, 2020 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon 7 strength-based parenting down with each of your chil- dren and read through the list of character strengths, with an eye toward identifying their signature strengths (their seven most potent character strengths). A signature strength will feel natural to your child and will be easy for them to apply; it will feel essential to who your child is as an individual, and your child will find that using a signature strength is energizing. Children who are 11 through 17 can also take a free online survey at www. viacharacter.org that will pro- vide a profile of their 24 char- acter strengths, listing them from the strongest contribu- tor to their well-being to the weakest. You can also learn about the characteristics of each character strength at the website. The next step in adopting a strength-based approach to parenting is to compare your children9s signature strengths to your own (consider taking the free VIA adult survey). When you share a common signature strength, it will be easy for you to view the world from your child9s perspective and to value this particular strength. However, when one of your signature strengths contrasts sharply with your child9s, it may increase con- flict as you might not appreci- ate how this strength enhances your child9s life. For instance, the prudent parent who tries to avoid unnecessary risks or making mistakes may become exas- perated by the zestful child9s behavior when his or her energy and enthusiasm gets them into trouble in school. On the other hand, even the most prudent parent will find themselves grinning when they recall how their zestful child9s adventurous spirit and endless enthusiasm saved the last family camping trip when dreary weather brought down everyone9s mood. One of the limitations of a parenting style that stresses a child9s weaknesses is that a child may respond to feedback with defensiveness and rigid- ity. Utilizing a strength-based approach, misbehavior can Let us show you how much you can save this year! be reframed as a misapplica- tion of a signature strength, improving the odds that the child will respond positively to feedback. A strength-based parent speaking to a humor- ous child might say some- thing like this: <You are such a funny kid. Everyone enjoys your sense of humor and play- fulness. Your teacher would really like you to wait until recess to crack your friends up.= So, if you are experienc- ing friction with your children due to your attempts to stamp out their character flaws, con- sider using a strength-based approach to parenting. You are likely to find that spotting, explaining, and appreciat- ing your children9s strengths will bring you closer together, increase cooperation, and ulti- mately will accomplish your goal of preparing your chil- dren to live happy, responsible adult lives. Mitchell L. Luftig, Ph.D. is a semi-retired clini- cal psychologist living in Sisters. He is the author of the Kindle book <Six Keys to Mastering Chronic Low- Grade Depression.= Learn more at: www.masterchronic depression.com. GREAT COFFEE G R E AT C A U S E BUY ON LI N E AT KABU M.ORG FREE DELIVERY TO SISTERS! BUY IN SISTERS AT OLIVE R LE MON’S (FORMERLY MELVIN’S) Bring your equipment in now for pre-season tune-ups and servicing! Mowers • Lawn Tractors • Blowers Trimmers • Chainsaws & More! Call 541-588-6245, for a free quote! 257 S. Pine St., #101 www.farmersagent.com/jrybka Auto • Home • Life • Business 506 N. Pine St. 541-549-9631 Sales • Service • Rentals • Accessories | www.SistersRental.com NIGHT AT THE ORIENT at The Belfry Made in Sisters, Oregon February 23, 4:30–6 p.m. Youth and adult tickets available Entertainment by Oregon Tai Chi Wushu We skillfully fabricate your ideas (and ours) in steel, aluminum, copper & other metals. We do repair work, too. View activities & classes, and register online! www.SistersRecreation.com 1750 W. Mckinney Butte Rd. | 541-549-2091 “Your Local Welding Shop” CCB# 87640 PHOTO BY ALEX JORDAN " Children and adolescents whose parents used a strength- based approach to parenting were less stressed than their peers, were better at handling friendship issues, were better at meeting homework dead- lines, and they received better grades. " Children who built upon the foundation of their signa- ture strengths (the seven stron- gest and genetically deter- mined character strengths) improved more rapidly. " Strength-based parent- ing enhanced the connection between parent and child. " Children felt more trust- ing of and affectionate toward parents who appreciated their strengths, rather than narrowly focusing on their weaknesses. " When tensions arose in the parent/child relationship, strength-based parents found it easier to remember the more pleasant aspects of their child9s personality (www. viacharacter.org). Strength-based parents help their children to maxi- mize their strengths by using the SEA approach 4 Spot your child9s character strength in action; Explain to your child how you observed them use their character strength; and Appreciate and reinforce them for demonstrating their character strength across all areas of their life. Let9s say one of your child9s character strengths is kindness. Spot 4 you notice your child comforting another child who is sad. Explain 4 <I noticed that when Billy was crying because he lost at checkers, you came up to him and gave him a hug; that9s a great example of you using your character strength of kindness.= Appreciate 4 <I am so proud of you for being kind to Billy when he was feeling sad. Your teacher also told me how you are kind at school when other children are upset.= Researchers have iden- tified twenty-four charac- ter strengths through which the six universal virtues are expressed: Wisdom: Creativity, curi- osity, judgment, love of learn- ing, perspective. Courage: Bravery, perse- verance, honesty, zest. Humanity: Love, kind- ness, social intelligence. Justice: Teamwork, fair- ness, leadership. Temperance: Forgiveness, h u m i l i t y, prudence, self-regulation. Transcendence: Appre- ciation of beauty and excel- lence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality. In order to become a strength-based parent and utilize the SEA approach, sit 541-549-9280 | 207 W. 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