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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 30, 2019)
Wednesday, October 30, 2019 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon In the PINES By T. Lee Brown Why I missed the First Amendment Commentaries dotted The Nugget for weeks. Folks chit-chatted about whether the evening would be tense or free-flowing, whether it might erupt. Then, last Thursday night, people gathered at Sisters Fire Hall for a panel discussion on free speech and the First Amendment. It9d make sense for me to be there; I seem to yam- mer on about finding and using one9s voice quite a bit. Acquaintances asked if I9d be attending. Local women texted me when they noticed that all the panelists listed were white men. I told everyone I had a previous engagement, attending Bend Design, an unusually thoughtful and intimate gathering just down the road apiece. While fac- tual, this wasn9t entirely true. I went to Bend Design during the day, learning about social change and equity, business and creativ- ity, but skipped the evening sessions. I missed those dis- cussions, and the First Amendment, because I9m a mom. Evening is the time when old-school moms cook din- ner from scratch. It9s when families gather around the table and share stories. It9s a time when kids need to wind 4 or melt 4 down after a long day of socializ- ing and learning. A time of bedtime rituals and shenani- gans. A time for good old- fashioned parenting. My husband and I are not Ward and June Cleaver; I work part-time and have an active creative practice. He9s very involved with our domestic life and raising our son. Still, we occupy fairly traditional gender roles. I grew up watching women like my mom do a whole lot of work for no money and little glory. They raised us kids and fiercely managed their sur- prisingly clean households, gardens, farms. They swept the church steps and orga- nized the school carnival. They put on the youth cha- pel9s Halloween party, with apples to bob for and home- made treats to win in the cakewalk. These ladies wove fun and community for all of us to enjoy, keeping us warm like big comfy shawls. They were also doing a heck of a lot of <emotional labor,= though I didn9t know how to articulate it then. They pro- vided essential support for the menfolk who brought home the bacon in many households. I didn9t often hear their voices out in the larger world. My mom9s infa- mous letters to the editor of the local newspaper were my primary indication that women might influence any- thing larger than a bake sale. Mostly, I saw men inton- ing the news on TV, male scientists and ministers tell- ing people what to believe, men starring in movies and writing the books we read in school. I gazed in wonder at paintings and photographs made by men, many depict- ing women9s bodies. I read men9s words in newspapers and maga- zines that dealt with the big issues: politics, government, culture. Women, when they wrote or spoke in the public sphere, seemed to discuss food, children, and clothing. My mom taught me how CHECK OUT THIS WEEK’S NUGGET INSERT! Ray’s Food Place Pizza Sale Wed. & Thurs. 10/30 & 10/31! Freschetta, DiGiorno, Totino’s and more! Fantastic Friday One Day Deal Whole Rotisserie Chicken $4.99 First 1 72 Hour Meat Sale Fri. - Sun., 11/1 - 11/3 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast $1.29 per lb. Whole Boneless New York Steak $3.99 per lb. St. Louis Style Pork Ribs $2.69 per lb. to dust a knickknack, fry an egg, and milk a goat. Watching her, I learned the esoteric art of household choreography, creating intri- cate dances in which kids made it to soccer practice on time, dogs were brought to vets, groceries were shopped for at the lowest sale prices. My mom was no <wom- en9s libber,= but she wanted more for me than the scant opportunities that had been open to her. She told me that things were changing. The culture told me this, too: theoretically, I could do any- thing men could do. To bring the point home, my Republican dad took me to see Geraldine Ferraro, a shockingly female, Democratic candidate for vice president of the United States. Mom taught me how to write letters to the editor that would get published nearly every time. My first and most for- midable copyeditor, she sharply critiqued my writ- ing and speech for grammar, diction, spelling, persuasive- ness. Arguing with her was like trying to tear down an exceptionally clever brick wall armed only with one9s fingernails and a broken teaspoon; my brother and I developed rhetorical skills just trying to get an extra 15 minutes on curfew. Thus I was set up to suc- ceed in writing college- entrance essays and taking SATs. I was young, edu- cated, and creative; I had no intention of whiling away my life inside a house, wor- rying about carpet stains. Art, writing, media and culture fascinated me. I wanted to be part of that world. So I moved to the city and jumped right in. But people change. Later I became a step-mom, and the experience of deep love for a child blew me away. I saw that those moms with their cakes and carnivals, kids and knickknacks, were every bit as important as the talking heads on TV. 21 Their job required the same levels of creativity and commitment I admired in poets and musicians, art- ists and journalists. They weren9t likely to change government policy or win a Nobel Prize, but hands-on moms mattered. Since then, I am often torn between focusing on family life and getting out there in the big, bad world 4 or even the small-town com- munity. A person only has so much time and energy. Last Thursday, when the people of Central Oregon gathered at conferences and fire halls to discuss the Big Issues, where was I? Home, with my son, cooking dinner. Not Using Your RV? Want it Sold? CONSIGNMENTS WANTED! 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Main Ave. • 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. • Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri Financial donations and non-perishable food (not past expiration) will be accepted. Sisters Kiwanis is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. Make checks payable to “Sisters Kiwanis Food Bank.”
