Wednesday, October 30, 2019 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
In the
PINES
By T. Lee Brown
Why I missed
the First
Amendment
Commentaries dotted
The Nugget for weeks. Folks
chit-chatted about whether
the evening would be tense
or free-flowing, whether
it might erupt. Then, last
Thursday night, people
gathered at Sisters Fire Hall
for a panel discussion on
free speech and the First
Amendment.
It9d make sense for me
to be there; I seem to yam-
mer on about finding and
using one9s voice quite a bit.
Acquaintances asked if I9d
be attending. Local women
texted me when they noticed
that all the panelists listed
were white men.
I told everyone I had
a previous engagement,
attending Bend Design, an
unusually thoughtful and
intimate gathering just down
the road apiece. While fac-
tual, this wasn9t entirely
true. I went to Bend Design
during the day, learning
about social change and
equity, business and creativ-
ity, but skipped the evening
sessions.
I missed those dis-
cussions, and the First
Amendment, because I9m a
mom.
Evening is the time when
old-school moms cook din-
ner from scratch. It9s when
families gather around the
table and share stories.
It9s a time when kids need
to wind 4 or melt 4 down
after a long day of socializ-
ing and learning. A time of
bedtime rituals and shenani-
gans. A time for good old-
fashioned parenting.
My husband and I are
not Ward and June Cleaver;
I work part-time and have
an active creative practice.
He9s very involved with our
domestic life and raising our
son. Still, we occupy fairly
traditional gender roles.
I grew up watching
women like my mom do
a whole lot of work for
no money and little glory.
They raised us kids and
fiercely managed their sur-
prisingly clean households,
gardens, farms. They swept
the church steps and orga-
nized the school carnival.
They put on the youth cha-
pel9s Halloween party, with
apples to bob for and home-
made treats to win in the
cakewalk.
These ladies wove fun
and community for all of us
to enjoy, keeping us warm
like big comfy shawls. They
were also doing a heck of
a lot of <emotional labor,=
though I didn9t know how to
articulate it then. They pro-
vided essential support for
the menfolk who brought
home the bacon in many
households.
I didn9t often hear their
voices out in the larger
world. My mom9s infa-
mous letters to the editor of
the local newspaper were
my primary indication that
women might influence any-
thing larger than a bake sale.
Mostly, I saw men inton-
ing the news on TV, male
scientists and ministers tell-
ing people what to believe,
men starring in movies and
writing the books we read in
school. I gazed in wonder at
paintings and photographs
made by men, many depict-
ing women9s bodies.
I read men9s words in
newspapers and maga-
zines that dealt with the big
issues: politics, government,
culture. Women, when they
wrote or spoke in the public
sphere, seemed to discuss
food, children, and clothing.
My mom taught me how
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to dust a knickknack, fry
an egg, and milk a goat.
Watching her, I learned the
esoteric art of household
choreography, creating intri-
cate dances in which kids
made it to soccer practice on
time, dogs were brought to
vets, groceries were shopped
for at the lowest sale prices.
My mom was no <wom-
en9s libber,= but she wanted
more for me than the scant
opportunities that had been
open to her. She told me that
things were changing. The
culture told me this, too:
theoretically, I could do any-
thing men could do.
To bring the point home,
my Republican dad took me
to see Geraldine Ferraro,
a shockingly female,
Democratic candidate for
vice president of the United
States. Mom taught me how
to write letters to the editor
that would get published
nearly every time.
My first and most for-
midable copyeditor, she
sharply critiqued my writ-
ing and speech for grammar,
diction, spelling, persuasive-
ness. Arguing with her was
like trying to tear down an
exceptionally clever brick
wall armed only with one9s
fingernails and a broken
teaspoon; my brother and I
developed rhetorical skills
just trying to get an extra 15
minutes on curfew.
Thus I was set up to suc-
ceed in writing college-
entrance essays and taking
SATs. I was young, edu-
cated, and creative; I had no
intention of whiling away
my life inside a house, wor-
rying about carpet stains.
Art, writing, media and
culture fascinated me. I
wanted to be part of that
world. So I moved to the city
and jumped right in.
But people change. Later
I became a step-mom, and
the experience of deep love
for a child blew me away. I
saw that those moms with
their cakes and carnivals,
kids and knickknacks, were
every bit as important as the
talking heads on TV.
21
Their job required the
same levels of creativity
and commitment I admired
in poets and musicians, art-
ists and journalists. They
weren9t likely to change
government policy or win a
Nobel Prize, but hands-on
moms mattered.
Since then, I am often
torn between focusing on
family life and getting out
there in the big, bad world 4
or even the small-town com-
munity. A person only has so
much time and energy.
Last Thursday, when the
people of Central Oregon
gathered at conferences and
fire halls to discuss the Big
Issues, where was I?
Home, with my son,
cooking dinner.
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“What’s
for dinner,
dad?”
That’s a tough question when you don’t
have enough food for your family.
Sisters is fortunate to have the Sisters Kiwanis Food Bank
to ensure everyone in our community has food to put on their
table, but that requires year-round community support...
Cash Donations ... Food Donations ... Volunteers
Ready to donate? The staff at The Nugget will receive your donations
and deliver them to Sisters Kiwanis Food Bank during our food drive.
The Nugget Newspaper
FOOD DRIVE through Nov. 22
442 E. Main Ave. • 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. • Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri
Financial donations and non-perishable food (not past
expiration) will be accepted. Sisters Kiwanis is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit.
Make checks payable to “Sisters Kiwanis Food Bank.”