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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (July 3, 2019)
14 Wednesday, July 3, 2019 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon Commentary... Old fears and new tools By Katy Yoder Correspondent I was honored to be a workshop presenter at The Healing Trauma Conference last month. The event was created to provide resources and access to new modali- ties for healing past trau- mas and learning new tech- niques to achieve resiliency. Co-founders Cheryl Mills and Susanne Frilot worked for 9 months putting it together, and when it finally breathed its first breath, it proved to be a labor of love that took on a beautiful life of its own. Participants listened to a panel of six experts dis- cussing the main effects of trauma: mental, physi- cal, nutritional, spiritual, social and emotional. Then Elizabeth Bouvier-Fitzgerald was interviewed about her amazing story of triumph over trauma. Before we broke for lunch, Barbara Largent, MD spoke about her own experi- ence with trauma, how she9s found healing and her innova- tive and non-traditional meth- ods for helping patients. After lunch the workshops began. I taught two <Healing through Writing,= classes. I was nervous about how it would go. I know writing about my trauma has healed me, but if it would reach oth- ers was something I wouldn9t know until I shared my pro- cess. I was supposed to record my introduction but was too nervous and didn9t remember to turn on my phone9s record- ing device 4 oh, well, maybe next time. The response from the people in my class was posi- tive. We enjoyed a quick 45 minutes together and just began to scratch the surface when it was time to wrap it up and move onto another work- shop. Next time, I9ll allow more time, so we can keep going when the creative and healing juices begin to flow. I came home happily tired and excited to teach again. When and where that will be is yet to be determined, but I got the first time over with and I9m ready for more. I slept great that night and woke up eager to continue work on my own story of dis- covery. But the next night I was sleeping alone and was reminded that recovery from trauma is a slow, repeated process with a timetable of its own making. With my husband, Gary, visiting his mother out of state, I was home alone. After I was sexually abused as a child, I became deeply afraid of being alone 4 especially when it was dark. Only 10 years old, and unable to tell anyone about the abuse, I didn9t under- stand the powerful emotions and terror I was feeling. All I knew was danger got worse when it was dark; especially if I had no one to protect me. If I was in our home by myself, my stomach tightened up, my chest would feel searing hot and my heart pumped like it was going to burst out of my chest. My breathing quick- ened and got shallow. I9d head for the kitchen and grab the biggest knife in the drawer and carry it with me. I could feel someone behind me. I9d turn around repeatedly try- ing to see them. I9d look out the window of our long glass hallway and see shadows in the dark. It felt like they9d run up and crash through the glass at any moment. Then there was the terror that took over when I was asleep. I9d see animals, peo- ple and unrecognizable things in my room. I9d wake up 4 or think I was awake 4 and scream until my throat hurt. Only light could make them go away. The sleep terror dis- order haunted my childhood, followed me to college, then my first time living alone and eventually when I got mar- ried. I never knew when I9d end up screaming. Sometimes I woke up, other times I was unaware of the fear I caused my sleeping partner. My screams scared my husband so badly he was afraid he9d have a heart attack. When I couldn9t recall screaming, Gary had to tell me what hap- pened the next morning. I felt powerless and guilty for scar- ing him. But there was noth- ing I could do. This time, the first night Gary was away, I took a long hot shower and got ready for bed. As I walked across our room, my heart began to speed up. I didn9t feel afraid but when I lay down, my heart was pounding. I tried to breathe calming breaths into my lungs and heart. I reminded myself that feel- ing afraid when I was alone happened when I was trig- gered by an old fear that was no longer relevant to my current life. My home was secure, I had two dogs and I was a strong adult who could take care of herself. My mind knew that was true, but my heart wasn9t buying it. I finally fell asleep, but later woke up screaming. I couldn9t remember what caused my screams, but our big, sweet and protective dog Beau jumped up on the bed and looked down at me with concerned brown eyes. He took a big breath and laid down next to me, snuggling in close. I felt better immedi- ately and soon fell asleep for the rest of the night. I woke the next morning perplexed about what had caused my reaction. Then I told myself there9s no reason to overanalyze it. I9m slowly getting better, but it9s a long process. My mind and my subconscious are still work- ing on syncing up. What I can9t control isn9t worth get- ting upset about. All I can do is keep investigating new ways to heal, writing what comes up and having faith that eventually, I won9t be afraid of what9s not there. Deputies make drug arrest in Sisters Sheriff9s deputies checking on a couple sleeping in a car arrested a woman for drug pos- session on Thursday, June 27. Sgt. William Bailey of the Deschutes County Sheriff9s Office reported that depu- ties responded to a call on Thursday morning regarding a man and a woman sleep- ing in a vehicle on a prop- erty on Locust Street just across the street from City Hall. Deputies contacted the couple and the woman was allegedly found to be in pos- session of methamphetamine. The woman was taken into custody and transported to Deschutes County Jail on a misdemeanor charge of possession of a controlled substance. LOOKING FOR GOOD NEWS? CUSTOM FENCES ENCES AND DECKS Locally Owned, Craftsman Built Residential & Commercial Custom Ranch & Domestic Privacy Fencing Decks • Gates Stain & Paint • Repair F FREE FR R EE E E ESTIMATES E ST S T IM I M AT A TE T ES E S COMPETITIVE C MP CO MPET ETITT IV IVE E PR PRICING RICIN I G 541-588-2062 CCB#215066 www.SistersFenceCompany.com Send them the local news from Sisters! A gift subscription to The Nugget is a thoughtful gift for loved ones far away. Subscriptions start at just $25 and are looked forward to every week! To order a gift subscription call 541-549-9941.