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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 2018)
22 Wednesday, February 21, 2018 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon Commentary... BASKETBALL: Young team laid foundation for future Helping children cope with traumatic events By Edie Jones Columnist As I watched with hor- ror the terrible event that unfolded last week at the school in Florida I wondered what I could say to help par- ents in Sisters as their chil- dren become aware of this terrible tragedy. Events such as these can be terrifying to children, even when they take place far away. In their minds they question, if it happened there could it hap- pen here? As I pondered what to say, part of an answer appeared in my emails; from SOS Children’s Villages — USA. A letter from their chief executive officer, Lynn Croneberger, offered some important ideas to pass on. The best place to begin would be to find out what they had heard, what they knew and what worried them the most. Ask if they have questions and then answer as simply and directly as pos- sible without giving unnec- essary details. Be careful to not use graphic language and, as much as possible, limit their access to media. This is hard to do in an era of instant news, however, important in lessening the impact. Be careful about the adult con- versations they overhear as these only add to their concerns. Keep as calm as possible yourself, as children pick up from us our emotions, our fears, and our worry over their safety. Sticking to your routines and normal way of going about the day helps children feel safe and in control. This is always true, even more so when the news is scary or there are traumatic situations. Be particularly mindful of signs that your children are struggling. Watching for changes in eating, sleeping patterns, behavior, and emo- tions, especially sadness and anxiety, will give you clues as to how they are coping. Another resource I highly prize is the book “Raising Resilient Children,” by Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein. Both of these writ- ers have PhDs in clinical psy- chology and years of working with children. Citing a quote by Anne Frank, which frames her as an extremely resilient young girl, they state that the “qualities of a resilient mindset are no less important for today’s youth. For hun- dreds of millions of children worldwide, daily adversity compromises their current and future well-being.” Tragically, we saw this in the event of last week. Hopefully, the children of this upper-middle class com- munity that reportedly was free of crime and violence will have developed some of the qualities that will help them cope and rise above the trauma they’ve been through. The book is an excel- lent resource for parents in fostering strength, hope and optimism in their children, all qualities needed for resil- ience. It provides 10 guide- posts for parents to use in teaching resilience. Starting with teaching and conveying empathy, they propose ideas as to how we can change the way we talk to our kids, accept them for who they are and help them set real- istic expectations and goals. They encourage parents to recognize mistakes as teach- able moments and teach and emphasize the importance of solving problems and making good choices. On the topic of discipline they present ideas that promote self-dis- cipline and self-worth, quali- ties extremely important in resiliency. The book also gives a clear picture of how resilient children view themselves: Resilient children are hope- ful and possess high self- worth primarily because they feel special and appreciated. They know how to set real- istic goals for themselves, know how to solve problems, view mistakes, hardships, and obstacles as challenges and have productive cop- ing skills that allow them to move beyond the kind of trauma we just witnessed. Resilient children are aware of their weaknesses and vulnerabilities while also recognizing their strengths and talents and use these to their advantage. They view themselves with a sense of competence while develop- ing interpersonal skills that contribute to their ability to relate to other kids and adults. They also recognize when they need help and are not afraid to seek it, being aware of what they have con- trol over, and using this to rise above adverse situations that come their way. Continued from page 19 Alexa Stewart scored five points in the contest. Sisters played hard, but again had difficulty getting the ball to fall through the hoop. The Outlaws have several younger players moving up, and their future looks bright. This year 10 eighth-graders played hoops, compared to last year when they only had three. Also, 19 seventh-grad- ers played this year. “Having the eighth-grad- ers come in as freshmen should really help our team,” said Coach Alan Von Stein. “Basketball is very much a skill sport, which requires off-season shooting and ball handling. “I believe the girls now understand this, and are will- ing to work hard this summer to improve their skill level. The girls are excellent team- mates to each other, and work in a very strong fashion to help each other succeed. The girls are looking forward to sup- porting the boys team as they head into tournament play.” The barber Dr. Thomas R. Rheuben is in! General, Cosmetic, Implant Call Jeff for an appointment today! 152 E. Main Ave. • 541-549-8771 Jeff • Theresa • Ann • Jamie • Shiela • Terri • Shanntyl • Brittany and Family Dentistry ~ Over 22 years Serving Sisters ~ We are preferred providers for Delta Dental PPO and Premier, MODA, Advantage, Pacifi c Source, Cigna and the V.A. 541-549-0109 | 304 W. 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