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Wednesday, February 21, 2018 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
Commentary...
BASKETBALL: Young
team laid foundation
for future
Helping children cope with traumatic events
By Edie Jones
Columnist
As I watched with hor-
ror the terrible event that
unfolded last week at the
school in Florida I wondered
what I could say to help par-
ents in Sisters as their chil-
dren become aware of this
terrible tragedy. Events such
as these can be terrifying to
children, even when they
take place far away. In their
minds they question, if it
happened there could it hap-
pen here?
As I pondered what
to say, part of an answer
appeared in my emails; from
SOS Children’s Villages
— USA. A letter from their
chief executive officer, Lynn
Croneberger, offered some
important ideas to pass on.
The best place to begin
would be to find out what
they had heard, what they
knew and what worried them
the most. Ask if they have
questions and then answer as
simply and directly as pos-
sible without giving unnec-
essary details.
Be careful to not use
graphic language and, as
much as possible, limit their
access to media. This is hard
to do in an era of instant
news, however, important
in lessening the impact. Be
careful about the adult con-
versations they overhear
as these only add to their
concerns.
Keep as calm as possible
yourself, as children pick up
from us our emotions, our
fears, and our worry over
their safety.
Sticking to your routines
and normal way of going
about the day helps children
feel safe and in control. This
is always true, even more so
when the news is scary or
there are traumatic situations.
Be particularly mindful
of signs that your children
are struggling. Watching for
changes in eating, sleeping
patterns, behavior, and emo-
tions, especially sadness and
anxiety, will give you clues
as to how they are coping.
Another resource I highly
prize is the book “Raising
Resilient Children,” by
Robert Brooks and Sam
Goldstein. Both of these writ-
ers have PhDs in clinical psy-
chology and years of working
with children. Citing a quote
by Anne Frank, which frames
her as an extremely resilient
young girl, they state that
the “qualities of a resilient
mindset are no less important
for today’s youth. For hun-
dreds of millions of children
worldwide, daily adversity
compromises their current
and future well-being.”
Tragically, we saw this
in the event of last week.
Hopefully, the children of
this upper-middle class com-
munity that reportedly was
free of crime and violence
will have developed some
of the qualities that will help
them cope and rise above the
trauma they’ve been through.
The book is an excel-
lent resource for parents in
fostering strength, hope and
optimism in their children,
all qualities needed for resil-
ience. It provides 10 guide-
posts for parents to use in
teaching resilience. Starting
with teaching and conveying
empathy, they propose ideas
as to how we can change
the way we talk to our kids,
accept them for who they
are and help them set real-
istic expectations and goals.
They encourage parents to
recognize mistakes as teach-
able moments and teach and
emphasize the importance of
solving problems and making
good choices. On the topic
of discipline they present
ideas that promote self-dis-
cipline and self-worth, quali-
ties extremely important in
resiliency.
The book also gives a
clear picture of how resilient
children view themselves:
Resilient children are hope-
ful and possess high self-
worth primarily because they
feel special and appreciated.
They know how to set real-
istic goals for themselves,
know how to solve problems,
view mistakes, hardships,
and obstacles as challenges
and have productive cop-
ing skills that allow them
to move beyond the kind of
trauma we just witnessed.
Resilient children are
aware of their weaknesses
and vulnerabilities while also
recognizing their strengths
and talents and use these to
their advantage. They view
themselves with a sense of
competence while develop-
ing interpersonal skills that
contribute to their ability
to relate to other kids and
adults. They also recognize
when they need help and are
not afraid to seek it, being
aware of what they have con-
trol over, and using this to
rise above adverse situations
that come their way.
Continued from page 19
Alexa Stewart scored five
points in the contest.
Sisters played hard, but
again had difficulty getting the
ball to fall through the hoop.
The Outlaws have several
younger players moving up,
and their future looks bright.
This year 10 eighth-graders
played hoops, compared to
last year when they only had
three. Also, 19 seventh-grad-
ers played this year.
“Having the eighth-grad-
ers come in as freshmen
should really help our team,”
said Coach Alan Von Stein.
“Basketball is very much a
skill sport, which requires
off-season shooting and ball
handling.
“I believe the girls now
understand this, and are will-
ing to work hard this summer
to improve their skill level.
The girls are excellent team-
mates to each other, and work
in a very strong fashion to help
each other succeed. The girls
are looking forward to sup-
porting the boys team as they
head into tournament play.”
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Sisters
PHOTO BY GARY MILLER
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