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About The nugget. (Sisters, Or.) 1994-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 11, 2017)
Wednesday, January 11, 2017 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon 5 Commentary... Blogger is Staying connected requires effort and work asked to evolving. It requires com- their own as they move away such as plays or contests also By Edie Jones municating, being open and from the guidance of parents keeps connections alive and about what is needed and work at making choices vibrant. delete info on As we begin a new year honest and getting buy-in from all that will impact them for One way to keep connec- many of us will be looking involved. years to come. As much as tions going during this time in our For families with young parents want to be a part of is by taking advantage of tex- Oregon refuge to daily make lives, improvements be more produc- children, connectedness this, a lot must be navigated ting. A few words can keep Columnist PORTLAND (AP) — Federal prosecutors want a judge to order a California man to remove information from his website about con- fidential informants involved in the takeover of a national wildlife refuge last winter. The Oregonian / OregonLive reports that authorities say the informa- tion posted by 70-year-old Gary Hunt was turned over to defense attorneys in the case pursuant to a protective order that barred it from being shared with outside parties. Hunt has been involved in Operation Mutual Defense, a network of militias and supporters founded by Ryan Payne, one of the refuge occupation’s organizers. Ammon Bundy and six others were acquitted of con- spiracy and other charges after a five-week trial; a trial for seven other defendants looms. Hunt argues that the court’s protective order doesn’t apply to him. tive and also interact more positively with our children. This isn’t necessarily those who have young kids; it also applies to those of us whose own children are adults and have kids of their own and may live far away. What’s the magic behind those families that seem to get along, stay connected and provide genuine support for each other? With busy sched- ules and everyone going dif- ferent directions, how is it possible to not lose that feel- ing of togetherness? When young adults move away or head off to college, how often should parents reach out? How do we break through the barrier of constant cell-phone use and texting of the teens and young 20s? No matter what the answer is, it requires conscious atten- tion. A plan to make sure what you want to happen will happen, and then the effort it takes to have it happen. For every family it will be dif- ferent and it will always be may come naturally, as the younger kids are the more attention they require. But still, it may be hard to come up with new ideas. Often we mistake expensive or elaborate events or activi- ties as what is necessary for quality time. Not so. Quality time is made up of precious moments, some fleeting and special. Families with kids of all ages will find a treasure of ideas on www.afineparent. com that currently features a list of 100 possible ways to connect. Take a look, I’m sure there’s something you haven’t thought of that will add a special bond to your relationships. Difficulty in feeling con- nected as a family often emerges when kids become teens or young adults. This group often appears to be in their own world, leaving parents feeling shut out and out-of-touch. Probably the most impor- tant thing to remember is that they really are in a world of by children on their own. Kids do want their parents to be involved in their lives; they just don’t want input as to what and how to choose. They may be more open to ideas from a Sisters High School Aspire volunteer than from mom or dad — which is OK. Waiting until asked to give advice is one of the hard- est challenges of parenting. The skills needed here are the same good parents have used for years; the skills of truly being interested, sincerely listening, commenting non- judgmentally, offering things to think about — and then backing off. There are times when lim- its and ground rules need to be imposed, however, if these have been longstanding and understood, they should not be a problem. Staying involved by attending football games, vol- unteering to chaperone at one of the dances and encourag- ing participation in activities relationships strong and may get better results than calls or emails. Many parents of kids living far away find social media the best way to stay abreast of what’s happening in their young adults’ lives. And don’t ignore the value of FaceTime and Skype. Our son lives in Germany; how- ever, we regularly join him and his family in conversation and fun. Our granddaughters, 14 and 12, are as much a part of our lives as our other five grandchildren living in the states. In some ways even more so, as these gather- ings are usually planned and anticipated. Families that stay con- nected do have something magical going for them. The love that is shared gets them through good times and bad, celebrates milestones and provides the care that is needed as parents get older. It may take a lifetime to cre- ate, and take conscious work and effort, however both are worth it.