Wednesday, January 11, 2017 The Nugget Newspaper, Sisters, Oregon
5
Commentary...
Blogger is
Staying connected requires effort and work
asked to
evolving. It requires com- their own as they move away such as plays or contests also
By Edie Jones
municating, being open and from the guidance of parents keeps connections alive and
about what is needed and work at making choices vibrant.
delete info on As we begin a new year honest
and getting buy-in from all that will impact them for
One way to keep connec-
many of us will be looking involved.
years to come. As much as tions going during this time
in our
For families with young parents want to be a part of is by taking advantage of tex-
Oregon refuge to daily make lives, improvements
be more produc- children, connectedness this, a lot must be navigated ting. A few words can keep
Columnist
PORTLAND (AP) —
Federal prosecutors want a
judge to order a California
man to remove information
from his website about con-
fidential informants involved
in the takeover of a national
wildlife refuge last winter.
The
Oregonian /
OregonLive reports that
authorities say the informa-
tion posted by 70-year-old
Gary Hunt was turned over to
defense attorneys in the case
pursuant to a protective order
that barred it from being
shared with outside parties.
Hunt has been involved in
Operation Mutual Defense,
a network of militias and
supporters founded by Ryan
Payne, one of the refuge
occupation’s organizers.
Ammon Bundy and six
others were acquitted of con-
spiracy and other charges
after a five-week trial; a trial
for seven other defendants
looms. Hunt argues that
the court’s protective order
doesn’t apply to him.
tive and also interact more
positively with our children.
This isn’t necessarily those
who have young kids; it also
applies to those of us whose
own children are adults and
have kids of their own and
may live far away.
What’s the magic behind
those families that seem to
get along, stay connected and
provide genuine support for
each other? With busy sched-
ules and everyone going dif-
ferent directions, how is it
possible to not lose that feel-
ing of togetherness? When
young adults move away or
head off to college, how often
should parents reach out?
How do we break through the
barrier of constant cell-phone
use and texting of the teens
and young 20s?
No matter what the answer
is, it requires conscious atten-
tion. A plan to make sure
what you want to happen will
happen, and then the effort it
takes to have it happen. For
every family it will be dif-
ferent and it will always be
may come naturally, as the
younger kids are the more
attention they require. But
still, it may be hard to come
up with new ideas. Often
we mistake expensive or
elaborate events or activi-
ties as what is necessary for
quality time. Not so. Quality
time is made up of precious
moments, some fleeting and
special. Families with kids of
all ages will find a treasure of
ideas on www.afineparent.
com that currently features
a list of 100 possible ways
to connect. Take a look, I’m
sure there’s something you
haven’t thought of that will
add a special bond to your
relationships.
Difficulty in feeling con-
nected as a family often
emerges when kids become
teens or young adults. This
group often appears to be
in their own world, leaving
parents feeling shut out and
out-of-touch.
Probably the most impor-
tant thing to remember is that
they really are in a world of
by children on their own.
Kids do want their parents
to be involved in their lives;
they just don’t want input as
to what and how to choose.
They may be more open to
ideas from a Sisters High
School Aspire volunteer than
from mom or dad — which is
OK.
Waiting until asked to
give advice is one of the hard-
est challenges of parenting.
The skills needed here are the
same good parents have used
for years; the skills of truly
being interested, sincerely
listening, commenting non-
judgmentally, offering things
to think about — and then
backing off.
There are times when lim-
its and ground rules need to
be imposed, however, if these
have been longstanding and
understood, they should not
be a problem.
Staying involved by
attending football games, vol-
unteering to chaperone at one
of the dances and encourag-
ing participation in activities
relationships strong and may
get better results than calls or
emails. Many parents of kids
living far away find social
media the best way to stay
abreast of what’s happening
in their young adults’ lives.
And don’t ignore the value
of FaceTime and Skype. Our
son lives in Germany; how-
ever, we regularly join him
and his family in conversation
and fun. Our granddaughters,
14 and 12, are as much a part
of our lives as our other five
grandchildren living in the
states. In some ways even
more so, as these gather-
ings are usually planned and
anticipated.
Families that stay con-
nected do have something
magical going for them. The
love that is shared gets them
through good times and
bad, celebrates milestones
and provides the care that is
needed as parents get older.
It may take a lifetime to cre-
ate, and take conscious work
and effort, however both are
worth it.