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About The Coos Bay times. (Marshfield, Or.) 1906-1957 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 2, 1912)
,.TTS. v-r fcj THE BIG NOISE Greets Toil Silence lias too Long Keigncd ou Coos Bay. PAGE FORE iradsliaw - Kimball Co. MACHINISTS DESIGNERS AND BUILDERS OF GAR 1CNG.NES. You must furnish your own gas. We make a specialty of repairing air ships. LAUNDRY LIST Coos Bay Steam Laundry (Not responsible for goods left here after 80 years) Laundry and Oflicc, 237 Fifth St. North. Phone Main, 57-J. SPECIAL It ATMS on the folio wing articles this week only: Male Sox, le Female sox, empty, 5c Female sox filled, free. Bureau drawers, 10 cents a dozen. "Union Suits, with one log, 20c. Union Suits with four legs, .'35c. Knight Shirts washed in the daytime, free of charge. "Why Don't You take a Bath, you old Slob. I9. Tm the Guy" TURKISH BATHS 392 Broadway MAKSIIFLELD NOT NEW YORK OPEN DAY AND NIGHT. (and then sonic.) HUGH McLAIN BEAVER HILL COAL Pioneer Grocery IVY CONDR.ON, Boss Green Vegetables, and Green Clerks, ."Fresh "Fruit and a Fresh Bookkeeper. Try Some of Our Axle- Grease. (Guaranteed under the pure food law) R.EHFELD BROTHERS Pealers in Cameras, Films and Photo graphic Goods Manufacturers of Myrtle Wood Novelties lloserved Scats for tho Klks.' show on sale nt tho tiy liUiy PHI Factory, corner llroudwny nnd Fifth Avenue. Tickets by (ho ounce, pound, ton or in carload lots. The BIG NOISE Hounded Only Wnro In n MlVtline. WITH Till: llKKIt AXI MMHKUflKH A DKIMNDKNT NHWSlUPHIt Hntnt-n.1 nt Mnt'Hhliultt noatolllco na the Wurst clasa of Malo matter, j - - (JOOI) MOItXIXIi. , I "MO WHO BICUIH 111 liuinw Marshfleld Lodge, 11. I O. 13., , R0t8 BOniothlnB, ' ll0 w,1 No. 11(50, nro tho guilty lmlilisliora, I niches from mo ono gray hair but no ono enn ho found with ro)S lno 0f Ult which Is nil nervo enough to be reaponslulo fori j mvo, nntl innltos mo dotn- i nod mud." 1). Y. StnlTord. . . tho contents. IDIOTOKIAL ItOOMS Noxt to tho Hoaiiitnl. A UlfM HUNCH. Chief NolBonmkcr. . .John 13. Gobs Manipulator of tho Muffler... M. C. Moloney Legal Kdltor C. V. McKnlght Lmiclnc Kdltor A. 11. Powers Children's Department "Cnndy Kid" Stafford ( Household Dopnrtmcnt i Ilnrry McKeown ; Ladles' Cornor Geo. Goodrum . Libel Kdltor Ocorgo Ilotnor Medical Department Doctor Hurry Wlnklor Political Forecaster. .HiiRh McLnln FlRhtlnp Kdltor Ivy Condron Sporty Kdltor L. A. LHJoavlst Snsslety Kdltor... Dr. J. J. Taggart Printer's Devil Geo. 8. Capps Omco Hoy Col. Hosn Farm Dopartmcnt Hay Domont Railroad Kdltor....!. Kur. Schilling I. W. W. Kdltor Fred Powers Kastsldo Kdltor.. It. J. MontRomery North Hcnd Kdltor.. L. J. Simpson Wo dont rIvo any premiums as our paper Is nt a premium; nor do we rIvo nwny pianos or diction aries. Our rendors aro Intelligent enoiiRh to read Tho HIr Nolso without a dictionary, and all sub scribers with a copy of tho papor In tho house auto havo enough Noise without a piano. NO niAXt'K t'F KHCAPK. "There's a lit"--'-" down below; 1 can heap i-"i '''m't you Unowl" Cried tho wire- In tho night, As alio woke- him from sloop In frlRht. Hut her sleepy husband said: "I will novor leave this bed, For to stay up hero I rhooso; Kltlier way I'm bound to loso. Lot tho man below tho stair Pilfer all tbo sllverwnro, If I iIho to ehaso him nut, And with Rim put him to rout, That will Rive to you your chanco, And you'll suroly rob my pants Of the coin you know la thero, Let him burRlo, I don't care." Frank Parsons. Tho mombors of tho Klka lodgo request Carl Kvcrlscn to reclto tho following: "Shoes and socks shocks StiBan." He burned tho midnight oil, ho snld And studied with persistence Hecamo n dentist, then ho led A hand to mouth existence. W. A. Toyo. kblad GSon Hardware Dispensers I've been kissing our cook Whllo nobody was looking. Oh. you needn't bo shocked, For my wlfo does tho cooklnR. A. T. Ilnlncs. This paper Is for sale or rant on avo 1)rook n Blinini0P iKht. all BtaRcs botwen hero and Scotts- A ,,,, fc , t,,0 ,. tar liurR. I iipi.t. A girl who's sweet and fair to sco, OUR HKAHOX D'KTItK. This heading Is French for "Why Wo'ro Hero." Wo'ro hero, first, bocniiBo wo want to boost our nd- vortlsors, whom wo havo carefully selected from a long list of appli cants and can thoroforo vouch for each and every ono. Secondly, wo'ro hero to boost our show, about which too much good cannot bo said. Third, wo'ro hero to boost tho town and ovorvthlng and everybody In It, oxcopt Us. Fourth, and 'nstly, wo'ro hero becnuBo wo'ro hero, nnd wo'ro mighty darned Rlad U'b over with, and wo hope you'll bo. too. This nnpor was published to In form, Instruct and amiiBo, mnko glad and mnd tho various mem bers montlonod heroin, who cnunot afford to buy hooks or visit tho Marshflold froo library. Tho panor contains somo Infor mation, bits of wisdom, and numer ous scandalous lies and misrepre sentations on our frlonds, who will hnvo to stand for It. Wo nro not nfrald of libel suits, gun men or Joo Honnett, nnd If somebody will dofond us wo will oven defv W. U. Douglns. Our circulation books nro prlvnto ronnrv n,,d "" rofno o them unless ordered to do so by tho grand Jury or Judge Coke. All grammatical tulstnkoa, tvno grnphlcnl orrora. Incorrectly Bpoll ed words, wrong hunches nnd truthful Items that havo crept' In Inndvortontly will bo corrected In our noxt Ishiio. Thoro will bo no "mud" slIiiR'ng In this pnper. Only tho very beat quality of Coos Itlvor bottom soil , J will 1)0 UBOd. I Much In fact, vory much of tho dope has been "cribbed" from I high-priced "High Hrows." In so doing, wo hnvo usurned tho rlcht of literary domain nnd drnwn freely 1 from divers sources. Thoroforo, I I lost- wo bo nccused of plagiarism, potty ihirlolnlng or literary lar ceny, acknowledgement Is horoby modo Hint much of this mntlor Is not original, nnd If nny of our frlondB should tnko oxcontlons to what wo say oursolves or hnvo stol en from others, Uioy will find Frank Parsons on duty up to 4 n. tn but they enn't find tho editors of this shoot with a senrch wnr-rnnt. And you can leave tho rent to mo. Geo, Goodrum. A SHOUT STOUV. (Hy K. D. McArthur.) CHAPTER I. Her father forbado him calling. CHAPTER IL Sho eloped with him. CHAPTER III. Now he's nt her fnthor's houso nil tho time TIIK AUTO VKHSIOX. Thoro wns n mnn In our town, Much wlsor than his sires; Ho rnn Into n bra in bio hush And puncttirod both his tires, And wlicn ho found hU tires woro wrecked, With nil his might nnd mntn, Ho rnn Into n rubber plant And fixed 'em up ngaln. A. L. Housoworth. 'TWAS "VKS." I asked her If sho would marry mo; Sho shook bor bond with hair so brown; Sho shook her head, but. ah, you soo, 'Twas not sldownys, but up nnd down. W. N. Kkblnd. Im nm tot's; LlvoNowsNoics 5 FtomfliollunuivJ anuonoonng uoikl " IS 'V m r n SPOUTS AFIKU). - I IMPORTANT NOTICE. I I All persons attending Tho I Hlg Nolso nro roquostod to j 1 koop Uiolr sents. At tho con- j I cliiBlon of tho last number on I tho program, thoro will ho n I I sorlnl story tolling contest bo- I I tweon W. R. Haines nnd Vic I Johnson. Tho one putting tho I I lnrgest nu inner to sloop boforo I 1 brenkfnst will ho awarded tho I I prlzo. ; Tho Heal Lnko Chin Club ronort gront shooting on tho presorves Inst sjununy. inoy urougat In n rocord bag of seven mud lions, two coots nnd a crow. Matson and Lnlso at tho "Hot Stovo Gun Club" In Snag Lnko aro Just sottllng down for a good sea son. Thoy oxpoct to tnko tholr guns with thorn on tho noxt trip. Sunday services nt tho Glasgow Gun Club rosulted In high scorns for Ruso Towor with threo gnmes lend over Ray Kaufman. Tho mombors of tho Macintosh Gun Club woro to havo n grand shoot Inst Sunday, hut Tom Hall got lost on tho way over, Otto Schotter wns lost looking for Tom and no ono was ablo to find tho cabin. R. A. Womlch has been dis charged as chof for tho Tslltcoos Club. Tho mombors were losing IN MlttfOKIAM. Hoforo tho paper goes to nress. WO wish to thnnk tho mnmlmra who' volil,f nn.i m .. have nsslsted us In getting nds.l v WVi tu" ,l'81' nnd tho morchnnts who woro pro- Local sports nro endeavoring to gresslvo and far-seolng enough tolnrrango n roturn match between recognize n flrst-clnas advertising, Nick Hambone. tho basomont dom medium when they saw It. What on. nnd A. J. nraggart, tho . Bonvor do you think nbout it? Wo oven Hill Hrulsor. "oaor hnd to stop nnd convlnco somo of, , our advertisers that .one Inch of L. A. Llljoqvlat Is roported GO space In Tho nig Nolso Is worth ING Into training. nioro man lour inches in nil tho other pnpors. Funny, Isn't It, how dull somo people- nro? Wo also tried to convince boiho of tho merchants who nre not ndvortlsors, but fallod (wo failed, not tho mer chants). Wo nlso wish to express our deepest appreclntlon of tho kindly asslstanco rendered us by tiioso who are iukiuk 1'uri in me snow, trom 1 tho biggest down to tho littlest kld-f dies in tno bunch. They have all worked hard nnd we nro nil vorv much. Indobted to them, as woll as tho mothers of tho little ones, who have been to a great denl of trnn. bio In accompanying tho little tots down to tho theater and waiting for LITTLE FATTV FLETCHER them every afternoon. We thank Singing "Listen to That Jungle you all. J llnd." TAKE A LOOK Wc have just received a carload of Christofferscm's Air Ships AVe have engaged Jack CI nylon as demonstrator. CfTlT I JQ BEFORE YOU GO OMLXLVJO UP IN THE AIR 1 3Efiii Vfc7 t. tjr Coos Bay Bakery THE PLACID FOR "Goodies" for the Little Dears and Big Elks AVe dough not elmrgo for the holes in our dough nuts. Phono, Three Aecs-L. STANDARD OIL CO. (INCORPORATED) ...STAFFORD'S... "The Cajjdy Kid" Our Candy is just as sweet as tho 0 iris in the Big Noise. Try our now drink "THE BIG NOISE" Sun day. (Wo have the police fixed.) Herman Hillyer a 99 SMOKE UP MALE AND FEMALE CIGARS Wo give, a wrapper with each eignr. Christmas Pipes, Clay Pipes, Bag Pipes nnd 1 ipe Dreams. AVe carry all the best papers, including the ' Jewish Observer, The Irish World and The Peruna News. Don't fall to sco that bum drama, "Why Don't You Her Off Uio Track." Fred Painter oa Lonoro, tho leading lady. Archlo Johnston as Manrlco, tho leading inan. Dan Keating Aa Count do Lumbago, the villain. ii ib i-uaixivsnx tno worst iuay ever n Tke fH