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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1900)
THE SUNDAY OBEGONIAN, POETLAIOX JUIJE 24, 1900. Its rjgomcra Entered at tfce Postofllce at Portland, Oregon, as.eecond-class matter. TELEPHONES. Editorial Roans.... 160 i Business Office.. ..GC7 REVISED SUBSCKiyilOX RATES. By Mall (postage prepaid). In Advance Dai.y, Tvithbunday. per month..... JO 85 DaLy, Sunda excepted, per year 7 50 Dally, -with Sunday, per ear .. 9 00 Sunday, per year 2 00 The Weekly, per year 1 50 The Weekly, 3 months 50 To City Subscribers Dally, per -week, delivered. Sundays exccpted.l3o Dally, per week, delivered. Sundays lnduded-20c Newe or discussion Intended for publication In The Oregonian Ehould be nddressed Invariably "Editor The Oregonian." not to the name of any Individual. Letters relating to advertising, subscriptions or to any business matter should be addressed simply "The Oregonian." The Oregonian docs not buy poems or stories from Individuals, and cannot undertake to re turn any manuscripts sent to It without eollclta tlon. No stamps should be Inclosed for this purpose. Puget Sound Bureau Captain A- Thompson, office at 1111 Pacific avenue, Tacoma. Box 835, Tacoma postofflee. Eastern Buslnem OrflccThc Tribune build ing. New Tork city: "The ilookery." Chicago; the 8. a Beckwlth special agency. New Tork. For oale In San Francisco by J. K. Cooper. 76 Market street, near the Palace hotel, and fat Goldsmith Bros.. 236 Sutter street. For sale In Chicago by the P. a News Co., 217 Dearborn street. POSTAGE ZIATE9. United States, Canada and Mexico: 10 to 12-page paper , 1C to 24-page paper US to 30-page paper ................... Foreign rates doubled. lc , 2c 3c TODAVS WEATHER Increaslnsr cloudiness, teith, probably showers; northwest winds. PORTLAND, SUXDAY, JDXE 24. THE "JLIFE OP GENERAL STEVENS." Two noble volumes are the fruit of the purpose of Hazard Stevens to pre pare a life of his distinguished father. General Isaac Ingalls Stevens. The work is a splendid filial tribute, and It is executed with literary and histori cal skill. The life of General Stevens deserves this fine setting; and It would have been a pity if this work had not been written. Our Northwestern pio neers, who know more of Isaac I. Ste vens than any others knew of him, have always held him in highest esti mation. He came out to Washington Territory in 1853, as its first Governor, and was Its most conspicuous citizen and eminent man till his death at Chantilly, Va., in September. 1862, where, holding the command of a Ma-jor-General, he fell leading a charge which his keen military eye saw was necessary to-check, in a dreadful emer gency, the advance of Stonewall Jack son and save the long Federal line then executing a hazardous .movement from annihilation. In these ample volumes there is a line story of the Mexican "War, or that part of it in which Stevens was en gaged. We have -a full account of his service, first as Governor and then as Delegate In Congress from Washington Territory; and a large portion- of the materials of the early history of Wash ington are here. In politics Governor Stevens adhered to the "regular" Democratic organiza tion, and supported Breckinridge for President In J8G0. This caused his de feat for renominatlon1 for Delegate to Congress in 18C1; for the Douglas Dem ocrats, full of resentment, made every "possible effort to "punish" him. In .May, 1861, the territorial convention was held at Vancouver, and Stevens was beaten for the nomination by Se luclus Garfielde, a man of utterly worthless character. From Vancouver Stevens came to Portland, and next day offered his services to the Government, In the Civil War. Without waiting for an answer, he took steamer at once for the East, was appointed Colonel of the Seventy-ninth New Tork, and soon became a Major-General. His year's service was so brilliant that It is be lieved he would soon' have been ap pointed to the command of the Army of the Potomac, for It is known that President Lincoln had thought of him lor the position. This biography covers the entire ca reer of General Stevens; and It Is a , -..-,. .. w.v,v,.., uuuiMUU w urc uiufiia- iiu ui. eminent. Americans, to me His torical literature of the country, and to the collection of material for the his tory of the State of Washington-. GROWTH IN NAVAL ARCHITECTURE Naval architecture Is a wonderfully progressive science. A circular, was recently Issued by the Secretary of the Navy to armor-plate manufacturers, inviting bids for the armor of the three "battle-ships authorized by Congress in March, 1899. From the data thus fur nished, some idea may be formed con cerning the superb specimens of the shlpbuldler's art that will be added to the American Navy when, some three years hence. It all goes well, the Perrn sjlvania, the Georgia and the New Jersey go into commission. These ships are to be much larger and faster than any of our battle-ships now afloat or In course of construction. Re luctant as we may be to admit it, the Oregon may have to retire to the rear of the firing line when in the crucial test of battle the guns of these swiftly ir-ovlng forts "belch forth redounding smoke and ruddy flame." They are to be 014,650 tons displacement the size of the largest vessels In the British and French navies and. notwithstanding their enormous bulk, they are to have a speed of nineteen knots. The great essentials of the modern man-of-war are speed and strength. To combine these two forces so that each may supplement the other Is the study of the naval architect. There are now no battle-ships of 14.G50 tons displace ment that have quite the speed of nine teen knots. Such ships may be ready lor service in other navies by the time the three known as of the Pennsylvania type are completed; but the United States will be among the first powers to place such swift leviathans in com mission. The vessels of this newest type will draw only 26 feet of water .when fully loaded, making them com paratively easy to dock, and they will nave a coal capacity of 1900 tons, giv ing them a range of C000 miles at the usual pace ot the vessel cruising in time of peace. From the circular to which reference Is above made. It Is learned that the vitals of these new battle-ships will be protected by Krupp armor eleven inches thick, the same quality of armor being used on other parts, but of less thickness. All tiie wood used In them and there will be very little will be rendered fireproof. Their batteries will be exceedingly formidable. Four 40 callber 12-inch breechloadlng rifles, and tight 45-calIber S-Inch rifles, mounted in pairs In six turrets, will comprise "the main battery. The secondary bat tery will consist of twelve 50-callber 1 6-Inch rapid-firing rifles, twelve 3-Inch (14-pounder) rapid-firing rifle guns, twelve 3-pounders, eight 1-pounders, two 3-Inch field guns, two Gatlings and six .03-caliber automatics. The 12-Inch guns will be able to fire every ninety seconds, the 8-inch guns every fifty sec onds, and the C-Inch guns every 20 sec onds. AH of these guns will be far su perior to guns of similar caliber now In use, both in power and rapidity of fire. One of the 12-inch guns of the Penn sylvania type will, for example, have greater power than a 13-lnch gun of the Oregon1, and can be fired with greater rapidity. The time limit for the completion of these battle-ships Is thlrty-slx months. If this is adhered to, the creation of these monster battle-ships will be phe nomenally rapid. It Is doubtful, judg ing from the experience of the past, whether they will be completed under five years. When they are built, how ever, we have the assurance of naval architects and authorities that the Pennsylvania, Georgia and New Jersey will be as far In advance of the Kear sarge and Kentucky as these latter vessels are In advance of the Indiana and Massachusetts. In the meantime, unless all signs fail, the navies of the world may be put to a practical test before that time, and the strength and power ot the several types of battle ships be decided in action upon the high seas. WHY NOTf The Commander-in-Chief of the G. A. Pw has expressed the opinion In the West that the time Is "not ripe" for the return of the Confederate flags. If not, why not? All the leading actors on either side to the great contest are gone, both In war and politics, save General Schofleld, Longstreet and ex United States Senator Reagan; of Da vis' Cabinet The youngest veteran of the Civil War Is 55, and the majority are nearer GO. In politics, the day of "war" Senators and Congressmen and Governors Is long over, South as well as North. Connecticut has never had a "war" Governor since 1866; and even Massachusetts never had but one ex soldler for Governor, Ben Butler, who surely was not selected because of his "war" record. New Tork never had a genuine "war" Governor. Congress long ago blotted out the battle-fields of the Civil War from the regimental flags, and from the Army Register. With a leading Confederate General back again In the United States Army as a Brigadier-General; with Long street on- the pension roll; with the sons of ex-Confederates filling our Army and Navy today and fighting and fall ing for the Stars and Stripes, why Is not "the time ripe for the return of the Confederate flags"? Two ex-Confederates died on the United States Supreme Bench; an ex Confederate Brigadier sat in- the Cabi net of President Hayes; another in- that of President Cleveland. There is really nothing left today to remind us that we ever were other than one people. Why keep these old tattered war relics of a melancholy and deplorable Civil War, whether they remain In the official hands of our Government at Washing ton, or In those of the state govern ments, or are part of the property of G. A. R. posts? Our Government Is to day ashamed to display these relics, and' they are hid away in boxes In the storerooms of the War Department. The captured battle-flags are no longer displayed at our state capitals, as they were during the first years that fol lowed the Civil War. The public sense of decency revolts from the further ex hibit of these trophies in days when the Civil War Is thirty-five years dis tant, when its -combatants on both sides are rapidly marching to the grave to join- the army of "ghosts of soldiers armed with ghosts of guns." The ex-Confederates do not care a button whether these sad relics are re turned or not. They lost them without dishonor, and they can afford to wait calmly for that hour of reason and good sense when Congress will have fewer demagogues of the sort that are afraid1 to revise a padded pension roll and afraid to leturn the captured battle-flags, to the South, whose children of Confederate sires have since stood shoulder1 to shoulder with the sons of Union soldiers in defense of the Stars and Stripes. The green corn of Spring is today breaking from the commingled dust of these children of Union and Confederate sires, who have spent their blood freely for the "old flag" and all It implies. And yet at such an hour the commander of the G. A. R. an nounces that "the time is not yet ripe for the return of the Confederate flags." If he Is right, then it is because the time has become absolutely rotten for any nobler aspiration or higher en deavor than bullying and browbeating a cowardly Congress Into tapping the Treasury by the application of a new patent pension suction pump. The very same cheap spirit which prompts a Congressman to vote for the perpetua tion and extension of extravagant and Ill-guarded pension legislation Inspires him to approve the flat of the com mander of the G. A. R., "The time Is not ripe for the return of the Confed erate flags." The time has always been "ripe," and always will be "ripe," we suppose, to enact extravagant pension legisla tion, but time will never be "ripe" for demagogues to favor an act of wise courtesy and generous acknowledgment that, officially or unofficially, our Gov ernment and our people believed that to the vanquished should be returned all the sentimental spoils of victory the moment the sons of both victors and vanquished were found doing battle nobly side by side for the National flag. The regimental flags of some of the regiments In the British army bear an cient legends of famous battles, but none of them bear inscriptions referring to victories won in civil war, like the battle of Cullodenv won over the rebel Jacobite army. Do these Bourbons of our day insist on retaining custody of the Confederate battle-flags lest we forget how hard and bloody a task It was to capture them? There is one thing of which we may be sure, that those Union veterans who think "the time is not ripe for the return of the Confederate flags" probably never per sonally helped capture them, for It took a kind of a soldier to capture a Con federate battle-flag different from the veteran who secures a pension for In firmities so obscure as to be Invisible to the naked eye. If we have become ashamed to keep Confederate flags in sight as trophies, ought we to retain them as curios to satisfy the eye of big oted sectionalism? LI Hung Chang has not traveled over the civilized world without learning some things of which the persistent stay-at-homes of the Chinese Empire are densely ignorant. He is able to estimate the strength of the powers which the Empress Dowager derides, and he sees the necessity, if the empire Is to survive, of the speedy restoration of peace In China and the absolute pro tectldn of Its foreign residents. His self-conceit in declaring that he alone among Chinese statesmen and rulers is able to cope with the situation and re store order In the empire, seems to be justified in the brief announcement of his purpose to "decapitate the leaders of the Boxers, send their ignorant fol lowers homeland make peace with the powers." This Is clearly all that is necessary to restore peace and postpone the day of the dismemberment of China. MORE SAILING SHIPS NEEDED. High ocean freights are absorbing a liberal share of the profits which should accrue to the Pacific Coast wheat grower. This is one of the results of England's abandonment of the sailer and taking up with the tramp steamer a few years ago. Old age and disaster are annually retiring from service hun dreds of sailing vessels, and, since the yards of Great Britain have beem work ing exclusively on steam tonnage, but a very small proportion of the loss has been- made good by other countries. Meanwhile, business has been expand ing and new fields for trade oppning up all over the world. The Pacific Coast, which is now paying from 42s 6d to 45 shillings per ton for ships, feels the scarcity of sailing vessels worse than any other locality, but not until the completion of the Nicaragua Canal will the steamers give us any relief In the round-the-Horn business. This fact is apparent from the experience of the steamship line now operating between San Francisco and Hamburg. Although there Is a scarcity of bal last tonnage, the list of sailing ships bound from Europe to Pacific Coast ports with cargo Is greater at the pres ent time than it has been for several years. A large number of these vessels are coming from Hamburg, the port from which the only steamship line In operation between Europe and the Pa cific Coast has Its headquarters. When this line was started, about a year ago, It was freely predicted by those who have been writing the doom of the sailer for the last twenty years that the steamer would quickly monopolize the field. The business, as It Is now mov ing, shows that therels more work than ever for the sailer, and tlie field for the steamer Is still limited. None of the Hamburg liners which have made the voyage to the Coast have been less than ninety days on the way, and some of them have been 110 days. When It is considered that a smart sail ing vessel can be depended upon with a considerable degree of accuracy to make the voyage In 120 days, with 105 and 110-day trips not unusual, it can be easily understood that the saving In time by steamer does not warrant the extra rates that are charged. A glance at the manifests of these steamers shows that, Instead of giving the Pacific Coast a direct steam line to Europe, they are, In reality, but coasting lin ers. The steamer leaving San Fran cisco with a full cargo discharges half of It at a Central American or South American port, reloads again with some other commodity, and moves on an other 1000 miles, where another ex change of freight Is made. It is only by this "peddling" business that a steamer is enabled to maintain any kind of service over a route like that which extends for 16,000 miles without a cheap coaling port anywhere on the line. The Nicaragua Canal, In times like the present, would act as a safety valve on the freight market; but, even when It Is completed, there Is no assurance that much of the business would be taken away frpm the sailer. Except In rare cases, at intervals of several years, there Is no great rush to get cargoes from the Pacific Coast on the market within a month or two, and the slow moving sailer, which burns no coal and requires no big engineering force, af fords cheap warehousing for the wheat while it is steadily floating it to the consuming markets. In abandoning the sailer England has been beaten by two inferior powers Germany, which has bought up all of the old sailers discarded by England, and France, which has bee&steadlly build ing new ones. CHILDREN'S DEPARTMENTS IN LI BRARIES. An Important theme of discussion at the recent meeting of the American Library Association- at Montreal was the children department In public li braries. There was a time, not so long past but that some of us can readily recall it, when- It was not considered necessary to supply chidlrere who were past the age of appreciation of the "Mother Goose Melodies" with reading matter outside their schoolbooks and the simple tales that formed the Sun day school libraries of an Intensely or thodox era. The minds of children were so Indelibly stamped with the commonplace Incidents of these tales aijd with the heavenly characteristics of the childhood which they portrayed that, after a lapse of fifty or sixty years, they stand out boldly in the memory, and can be reproduced by a shift of the mental kaleidoscope. Whlttler, in his brief autobiography, testifies to the fact that the few books In his father's house were read and re read by the children, "until drained of their last virtue." The same may be said of the school readers of that time in hundreds of households. It being probable that McGuffeys series of readers exercised a greater Influence upon the minds of the children of the second generation of the century than all the sermons to which they were com pelled to listen. For example, a lesson In industry and application to a special object was taught In a "brief homily entitled "No Excellence Without La bor"; persistence under discouragement in a story of "The Old Eagle Tree"; reverence for the Creator in- a highly Imaginative story of "The World of Chance"; delight In military achieve ment In the story of "Napoleon Cross ing the Alps"; the value of self -endeavor In the story of the "Farmer and the Old Lark," eta. etc The lesson In each instance was Impressed upon the memory bv many readings, to be drawn- upon and appropriated In after years as occasion offered. The reading habit thus fixed upon children became, as it were, a heritage to their children, and with the widen ing opportunities of popular education, and through the activity of the book maker and the printing press, it has In creased until the children of today are omnivorous readers, literally devouring everything In the line of books that Is within their reach. One extreme was reached in the scarcity of books for children; and it would seem that we are rapidly approaching, if. Indeed, we have not reached the other. In a multiplicity of books provided for them, so great that it Is Impossible to supervise their reading with proper diligence. General literature has been Introduced Into school courses; the newspaper Is seized by the children of the family often De fore their elders have time or oppor tunity to read It, and eager reading, first a heritage, has become a habit. The demand- thus created has leen met by an abundant supply. A class of writers for children has been devel oped, and, while some of the books pro duced are not flattering, either to their authors or to their expected readers, there is a number of volumes that, In the beauty and purity of their Imagery, In the sanity of their moral teaching and In their adaptation to the age be tween the nursery rhymes and primer, and- the matured work for men and women; fill an important place In the book-world, the child-world and the home-world. Library work has become a profes sion involving previous training. This fact has developed a large corps of skillful bookmen and bookwomen, such as, form the American Library Associa tion and administer the affairs of state and other large libraries. Upon the ex perience and alertness of these librari ans depend to a great extent the value of libraries. It la possible to sift, through them, the large output of ju venile books, thus separating the wheat from the chaff of literary production. The natural result of this is the devel opment of children's libraries, or. for economic reasons, children's depart ments In general libraries. Parents, It Is said, do not give suffi cient attention to what their children are reading. In the demands that mod ern life makes upon them, and amid the multiplicity of books. It may not be possible for them to do so. To those fathers and mothers who are careful, and for those who are Indifferent about their children's reading, the aid given by skillful and sympathetic librarians cannot fall to be of great advantage. It has been pertinently said that "the morals of the people of ten and fifteen years from now will be determined by what the children of today are read ing." The printing press Is the great modern preacher. The gate of reading admits the young to a paradise. A wise guide at the gate will see that It Is a paradise the joys of which will not be lost. ATHLETICS AND HEROISM. The notion that systematic athletics tends to develop the heroic qualities which a nation needs In great crises is not borne out by the facts. Of the ninety-seven young men who enlisted from the five classes 1898, 1899, 1900, 1901 and 1902, at Harvard, only fourteen were recognized as athletes. In the five classes from 1893 to 1897, eighty six men enlisted; and only ten of these had been known as athletes, and the proportion ot athletes became smaller as the classes became older. Among the 384 Harvard men known to have enlisted In the Spanish War, only thirty-four are recognized as athletes. President Eliot says: These figures do not Indicate that the men who take part In the competitive athletic f porta are on that account more Inclined to enlist as soldiers or tailors than the ordinary student who js physically sound enough to pass the medical examination for the Army or Navy- The conclusion of President Eliot is entirely sound. The Impulse to heroic adventure and sacrifice has never been associated with the practice of Inces sant, specific gymnastic training, such as has become a kind of a fad of recent years. Beyond the ordinary exercise obtained In popular outdoor sports of fishing, hunting, rowing, riding, swim ming, walking and kindred recreations that nearly all boys Indulge in during their leisure hours, athletics as a spe cific fad Is very great humbug. It neither promotes the passion for enter prises of great pith and- moment, nor does It promote length of days nor su perior Intellectual endurance. During our Civil War there was no such thing as athletics among our people, but there was no lack of sturdy youth of heroic temper among our boys within or without college. Between 1828 and 1845 the roll of Harvard College In cluded a larger number of men distin guished, for ultimate intellectual emi nence and length of days than In any period of her history. During these years there was no such .thing as sys tematic athletics. Young men went fishing or fowling, rowed, went swim ming in Charles River, formed walking parties to visit the White Mountains, Monadnock or Wachusett. These sim ple forms of natural outdoor recrea tion were sufficient to keep these young men In- health, andi out of their ranks came that splendid army of Harvard College graduates who fought so hero ically and fell on the firing line of the Union Army from Shiloh In the West to Spottsylvanla-In the East. Measured by Its fruit. Harvard College is none the better since athletics became an annex for all and a stupid fad for many. The average mental power of Harvard: the average physical endur ance of her graduates, has not im proved with athletics, and this fact will not excite any surprise, except In the minds of those college chumps and snobs who can talk about nothing but athletics ad nauseam, just as a horse jockey can talk nothing but "horqe." This absurd "muscular Christianity," this apotheosis of, "hothouse" physical development, has about run Its course, and a reaction has commenced In favor of a return to the practice of simple, healthful exercise, which- requires no gymnasium, no irksome, unnatural ex ertion to cultivate a sound mind In a sound body, to Insure good digestion, healthful sleep, mental and physical en durance and longevity. Of course, athletics has nothing to do with creating heroic spirit, for men in ancient or modern times who have ex hibited the capacity to do and dare be yond their fellows have been men of moral courage and will power, not sim ply men of giant strength and stature. Prize-fighters, according to the ath letic argument, ought to make heroic soldiers, but as a matter of fact they show no taste for military life, and when tested are hardly up to the aver age man in warlike courage that faces death and wounds with firmness. Hero Ism is born of the spirit, and, while consciousness of exceptional strength and skill makes a- bully, it never makes a hero. The most heroic Generals on the battle-field have not seldom been more conspicuous for the want of bod ily strength and stature than for the possession of It. Any young man who desires to care for his health has no need to give his days to "athletics"; the natural recreations of youth fish ing, hunting, walking,-swimming will keep him in condition. To make a fad of athletics la as absurd"W it Is to make a fad of playing whist, with or without a dummy. The most tiresome creature that runs at large Is a man, young or old, who pannot or will not talk about anything but "athletics" of some sort. He is generally a per son whose muscles are developed at the expense of atrophy of the brain. His head Is generally an Iron pot. His brain pan Is about as deep as a dim ple. He Is generally the kind of fellow that Shakespeare describes Ajax to be In "Trollus and Cressida" as "bought and sold among those of any wit like a barbarian slave." The dispatches make the Important announcement that the attacks made upon the foreign troops at Tien Tsln were delivered, not by the Boxers, but by Chinese regular soldiers, furnished with formidable artillery. If this new3 be confirmed, It means that there is great danger of a formidable anti-foreign uprising In China, unless the for eign troops succeed1 In landing an army strong enough speedily to beat the Chi nese in the field and occupy Pekln. Whether the contest Is long or short, it Is likely to end In- a European protec torate governing China through an Im perial puppeC, event as Great Britain administers the affairs of Egypt under the Khedive today. The war In South Africa Is on Its last legs, and Great Britain can, If necessary, spare 20,000 troops for China, and can send at once 5000 from Calcutta. France can send 5000 from French Tonquin, and when the weather permits the United States can- send 5000 men from Luzon. The Boer War cannot endure many days longer. Lord Roberts and Gen eral Buller have joined hands at Stand erton, and, with the whole line from Pretoria via Lalng'e Nek to Ladysmlth and Durban in hl3 possession, the Or ange State Boers under President Steyn, to the number of 10,000, are sure to be starved put of the mountains and forced to surrender. They are caught between Lord Roberts forces and those under General Buller. The moment Lord Roberts obtains supplies enough for an advance of his main army, the railroad to Delagoa Bay will be seized to the Portuguese frontier, and after that further resistance Would be futile. "We favor the construction, owner ship, control and protection of an Isth mian canal by the Government of the United States," says the Republican platform. The St. Louis platform of 1S96 was more specific It declared for the Nicaragua Canal. Anyway, the party favors and has favored a great Inter-oceanic waterway. Then why haven't we got'it? The country wants it and demands it. The House In May passed the Hepburn bill by an over whelming majority. It was killed in the Senate. Who is responsible for throttling this measure? The Republi can Senate and the Republican Presi dent. W. H. H. Dufur, forest supervisor In charge of the Bull Run reserve, whose communication Is published elsewhere, shows commendable public spirit In of fering a reward of $150 from his private funds for Information leading to the arrest and conviction of the first per son guilty of violating the law relat ing to forest fires. Portland is vitally Interested In preserving the timber bor dering Bull Run River, and will heart ily approve Mr. Dufur's zeal. It is difficult to suppose that the Sa lem Statesman cam really believe that our producers of hops, wheat, onions, lumber, dairy products, etc, are "pro tected" against foreign1 competition by tariffs. Oregon) has one product that Is protected, one only wool. And here the comparatively few woolgrowers are protected at the cost of everybody who wears clothing; In most places, It may be supposed, the most numerous class of population. It would be reasonable if the Demo cratic National Convention would1 pro nounce for the gold standard, declare for retention of the Philippine Islands, and assert that force should be used- to put down mobs and quell riots, like those at Coeur d'Alene and Chicago. Let the Democratic convention do these things, and many am objection to vot ing the party ticket will be removed. Perhaps we ought to be grateful, af ter all, for the things the Republican platform does not contain. Web Davis and bis Boer plank seem to have been ditched. The statement comes from Europe that nobody knows anything about China, but some know less than oth ers. That's about the situation. No conscientious campaign orator will fail to call attention to the coinci dence of the McKlnley nomination and the rapid advance of wheat. Li Hung Chang might have added1 that one less Dowager Empress would do much for China in the family of na tions. PLEASANTRIES OP PARAGRAPHERS "Do you know, I never dreamed she was a trained nurse." "How did yoii find It out?" "Saw her bill." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Daughter, I notice that Harry Isn't a bit gallant to other wpmen." "No, Indeed, ma; I broke him or that rlsht after we wcro mar ried." Indianapolis Journal. He Would you mind a little temporary In convenience, dear: a few years of poverty when you marry me? "Good gracious! Don't you expect to live any longer than that?" Life. "Papa, will you give mo a good, sound lick ing?" "What for. Bobble?" "Well, I am going to sneak off and go In swimming, and I don't want to be bothered with a. future." Life. Applied Externally. "The first Board of Ed ucation, I presume," observed the professor, "was really a shingle, and when needed for educational purposes was usually wielded, I dare say, by the mother." Chicago Tribune. "Dese hosa'Iess kerrlges ain't so much," said Mr. Erasmus Pinkly. "Deys all de talk;" re plied Miss Miami Brown. "Co'se dey Is. But It's a back - number scheme. What were de fust steamship but a mule-less canal boat?" Washington Star. A Family Affair. "No, Mr. Homewood,"saM Miss Beachwood. firmly but kindly, "I cannot be your wlfo, but I will be a sister to you." "Very well," said the young man. resignedly, "will you assume my name or will I take 3ours7" Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Consistent, at Any Bate. "Why. Dolly, where's Mario? I thought you were playing circus." "Well, she got mad and went home 'cause I wouldn't give her any peanuts. I was the monkey and she was the tiger, and tigers don't eat peanuts." Harper's Bazar. The following notice was lately affixed to a church door In Hertfordshire, and read In the church: "This Is to give notice that no per son is to be burled In this churchyard but those living in the parish: and those who wish to bo burled are desired to apply to the parish clerk." Tlt-Blts. Visitor And how Is the restoration fund going on. Mrs. Lychgate. The Rector's Wife I'm sorry to say It's going on moat unsatisfac torily. We've tried every conceivable means ot getting the money honestly, and failed; and now the. rector says wo must try what a bazaar will do." Puach, SLINGS AXD ARROWS. "Wily LI IIhhs Chansr. LI Huns Chang him welly stlong. No can foolum rouchee long. King he thlnkum: "Ol LI Huns No moh good; no muchee young." Takum peacock featheh vay, Ol LI Hung him not much say. King get happy, muchee Mnlle; LI Hung Chang he watt one while. BUng htm cousin, bllcg him flen. King no moh heap smllee then. Go to pllsoa cell one day. Heap no moh can get away. U Hung Chang an' Queen good flen. Kctchum peacock featheh 'gain. King be say with sad, ad tongue: "No can fooloo Ol LI Hung." Btmeby Queen she makum plan. Think LI Hung too olo man, Takum yellow Jacket 'way, LI Hung Chang not muchee say. Queen she smile and wavutn fan, - Say: "No need heap olo man." Ol LI Hung ho muchee sad, Mlssum jacket welly bad. Bo he sit an' heap much think. Blmeby makum muchee wink; Call him cousin, Boxee man. Tellum he heap flghtum can. Boxee man he ketchum 'bout Million cousin all come out. Bllngum hatchet, bllngum gun, Makum Chinee almy lun. Klllum white man ev"ly day. White man no much llko that way, , Sendum man an' talkee Queen. Askum: "What heap klllum mean?" Queen no sabeo what he say. White man talk an go away, Blmeby heap big almy come. Heap much cannon, trap much dlurn. Queen she gcttum much aflald. Say: "LI Hung much tlouble made." Callum him to talkee then, Glvum jacket back again. . Tellum go an' seo if can Stop him bloody Boxee man. Though htm mucheo no moh young, No can fooloo ol LI Hung. Heeded HI Advice. "Young men and women," said the prominent citizen who had been selected to address the graduating class, "looR upward, look ever upward, and your ca reers will "be assured." Just then a bat, which had strayed into the room, wheeled around the celling in a frantic effort to find a dark place, and for the first time on record a graduating class followed the advice given in a prominent citizen's address. Moclety His modesty was bo lntensa That no would oft opine Tm really of no consequence, I know I look llko thirty cents. Marked down to twenty-nine. Consolntion. "I've had my day," observed the horsey "But It's comforting to know That, though I must get off the earth, The automobile must go." The Disappointed Plan Int. Once upon a time a Commercial Trav eler sat In a Hotel Parlor and played the Overture from "William Tell" In Bag Time. Two Guests sat outside on the Porch and Listened to him. Soon the Pianist began to play, also in Rag Time, the Doxology. This he considered' a Brilliant Stroke ot Humor. "That will make the whole Hotel Laugh," he said, "and they will 'see that I am a fine Pianist." He went up to the Window to hear what the guests were saying about him. "I wonder who Is the fellow that Is try ing to play the Piano." said one. "Oh," said the other, "he Is some Coon that they pay by the Hour. He was probably Dropped by some cheap Min strel Show." The Commercial Traveler was Tired, and so he did not Play any More that Evening. Moral Some People have no Ear for Music How It Wna Done. When, the last statistic Is gathered. And the weary census Is done. And the people who took It are dying From mental fatigue, one by one. We shall wait, and grow old In the waiting, Whether wo like It or not. Until the Director shall tell us How many people we've got. And those that sojourned In Seattle, Before they had called for their homA, Where the stately old Icebergs are drifting" By the shores of auriferous Nome, Shall find, when they forward their names in From that frozen and desolate shore, Shall find, and be stricken with wonder. That they all have been counted before. For, although their stay was a brief one, And although no shelter they found. But slept on the streets In their blankets, While they paused In the burg on tho Sound, They wero needed to add population. And so, with their kith and their kin. The census man saw them In passing And silently counted them in. The Explanation. "Look at that mulo," said General Kitchener, "he walka right through shot and shell and doesn't turn a hair. I qev er saw anything like it." "My lord," said a quartermaster, "that animal was shipped from St. Louis, where ho has been pulling a street-car." Her Version. Maud Mullcr, on a Summer's day. Raked the meadows sweet with hay, And plastered lotions all that night Upon her face, to keep It w hlte. For of all tho words at her command The saddest were these. "I'm getting tanned." In Desperate Straits. "My glory has departed," said Agulnal do. "First, the Boers crowded me off the first pages of the newspapers, ana now the troops of the Americanos have de serted me for a lot of Chinese Boxers. 1 hate to do it, but It I am going to keep before the public I guess I shall have to accept that Democratic Vice-Presidential nomination, after all." And in order to attract a little temporary attention ha died. J. J. MONTAGUE. Theodore Roosevelt. This is what the Indianapolis News, an Independent Republican journal, eaf d about Roosevelt on the day tho convention met: It is probably not too much to say that just now the dashing. Intrepid, manly Roosevelt Is tho most popular man In the Republican party. Any number of Republicans would prefer to .see him at the head of the ticket thl3 year. All tho younger men of the party would be for him with a zeal and zest they have never t Jit for McKlnley. He would win and hold all the Republicans that have become- disgusted with McKlnley and Hannalsm; he would undoubt edly rally to his standard the Independent voters and tho great bulk of the Gofd Demo crats. Doubtless his nomination for Vice-President would somewhat strengthen tho McKlnley tick ct. But there will be many men devoted to Roosevelt and believing In his future that will be sorry to see him sacrifice four years to ths unimportant functions of tho Vice-Presidency. His Immense ability would, however, glvo tho office new distinction. Safe In His Prediction. Minneapolis Times. When Colonel Jack Chlnn ventured the opinion that every man In Kentucky who needed banging would get It, the Colonel was In New Tork. Merelj- Mole Hills. Boston Herald. Thero are only a few more mountains left for sale In Massachusetts. Conrfdcr injr their altitude, they do not come very high. MASTERPIECES OF LITERATORE-XLYJ Stanzas from "Childc Harold's Pilgrimage' Lord Byron." xxi. s " There was a sound of revelry by night. And Belgium's capital baa gathered then Her Beauty and her Chivalry, and bright The lamps shone o'er fair women and brave, men; A thousand hearts beat happily; and when Music arose with Its voluptuous swell. Soft eyes look'd love to ees which spake again. And all went merry as a marriage bell; But hush! hark! a d:ep sound strikes like a rising knellt XXII. -s Did yo not hear It? No; 'twas but the wind. Orthe car rattling o'er the stony street: ' On with the dance! let joy be uncontln'd; No sleep till mom, when Youth and Pleasure meet - To chaso the glowing Hours with flylnsfeet r. But, hark! that heavy sound breaks In oncoj more, f As If theIouds Its echo would repeat: And nearer, clearer, deadlier than before! Arm! arm! It la it is the, cannon'. openiss roar! xxrv. Ah!Hhen and there was hurrying to and fro. And gathering tears, and tremblings of distress. And cheeks all pale, which but an hour ago Blush'd at the praise of their own loveliness; And there were sudden partings, such as press ,-Thb life from out young hearts, and choking sighs Which ne'er might bo repeated: who would guess If ever more should meet thoso mutual eyes. Since upon night so sweet such awful morn could rise! XXV. And there was mounting In hot haste; the steed. The mustering squadron, and the clattering car. Went pouring forward with impetuous speed. And swiftly forming in the Tanks of war; And the deep thunder peal on peal afarj And near, the beat of tho alarming drum Roused up tho soldier ere the morning star While throng"d the citizens with terror dumb, Or whispering, with white lips "Tho foe! They come! they come!" xxvnr. Last noon beheld them full of lusty life. Last evo In Beauty's circle proudly gay. The midnight brought the signal-sound 'ot strife. The morn the marshaling In arms, tho day Battle's magnificently-stern array! The thunder-clouds close o'er It. which when rent. The earth Is cover'd, thick with other clay. Which her own clay shall cover, heap'd and pent. Illder and horse friend, foe In one red burial blent! LXXIII. Fair Greece! sad relic of departed worth! Immortal, though no more; though fallen, great: Who now shall lead thy scatterd children forth. And long accustom'd bondage uncreate? Not such thy sons who whilom did await. The hopeless warriors of a willing doom. In bleak Thermopylae's sepulchral s:ralt Oh! who that gallant spirit shall resume. Leap from Eu rotas' banks, and call theo from ' the tomb? LXXVT. Hereditary bondsmen! know ye not Who will be free themselves must strike tha blow? By their right arms the conquest must ba wrought? Will Gaul or Muscovite redress ye? no! True, they may lay your proud despollers low. But not for you will Freedom's altars Same. Shades of the Helots! triumph o'er your foo: Greece! change thy lords, thy state Is still tho same; Thy glorious day Is o'er, but not thlno years of shame. LXXVIII. O Home! my country! city of the soul! The orphans of the heart must turn to thttt. Lone mother of dead empires V and control In their shut breasts their petty misery. What are our woes and sufferance? Coma and see The cypress, hear the owl, and plod your way O'er steps of broken thrones and temples, Tel Whose agonies are evils of a day A world Is at our feet as fragile as our clay. Lxxrx. The Nlobe of nations! there sho stands. Childless and crownless, In her voiceless woo; An empty um within her wither'd hands. Whose holy dustVwas scattered long ago; The Sciplos' tomb contains no ashes now; The very sepulchres He tenantless Of their heroic dwellers: dost thou flow. Old Tiber! through a marble wilderness? Rise, with thy yellow waves, and mantel her distress. CXL. I see before me the Gladiator He: Ho leans upon his hand his. manly brow Consents to death, but conquers agony, And his droop'd head sinks gradually low And through his side the last drops, ebblnx slow From the red gash, fall heavy, one by one, Llko the first of a thunder-shower; and now Tho arena swims around him ho is gone. Ere -ceased the inhuman shout which hoi I'd tha wretch who won. CXLI. He heard it! but he heeded not his eyes Were with his heart, and that was far away; He reck'd not of the life he lost nor prize. But where his rude hut by the Danube lay. There were his young barbarians all at play. There was their Daclan mother he, their sire, Butcherd to make a Roman holiday All this rush'd with his blood Shall he expire. And unavenged? Arl3e, ye Goths, and glut your Ire! CLXXVTII. There Is a pleasure In the pathless woods. There Is a rapture on the lonely shore. There Is society where none Intrudes,' By the deep Sea. and music In Its roar: I love not Man the less, but Nature more. From these our Interviews, In which I steal From all I may be. or haie been before. To mingle with the Universe, and feel ' What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all con ceal. CLXXIX. Roll on, thou deep and dark blue Ocean roUI Ten thousand fleets sweeo over" thee In vain, Man marks the earth with ruin his control Stops with the shore? upon the watery plain Tho wrecks are all thy deed, nor doth remain A shadow of man's ravase, save his own. When, for a moment, like a drop of rain. Ho sinks Into thy depths with bubbling groan, Without a grave, unknell'd, uncoffin'd, and un known. cLxxxn. Thy shores are empires, changed In all save thee Assyria. Greece, Rome, Carthage, what are they? Thy waters wasted them while thy were free. And many a tyrant since; their shores obey Tho stranger, slave, or savage; their decay Has dried up realms to deserts: not so thou. Unchangeable save to thy wild wave's play Time writes no wrinkle on thine azure brow Such as creation's dawn beheld, thou rollest now. CLXXXIIL Thou glorious mirror, where the AImlghty' form Glasses Itself In tempests; In all time. Calm or convulsed In breeze, or gale, or storm. Icing the pole, or in the torrid clime Dark-heaving; boundless, endless, and sub lime The imago of Eternity the throne Of the Invisible; even from out thy sllma The monsters of the deep are made; each zono Obeys thee: thou gocst forth, dread, fathom less, alone. CLXXxrv. And I have loved thee. Ocean! and my joy Of youthful sports wa3 on thy breast to be Borne, like thy bubbles, onward: from a boy I wantan'd with thy breakers they to me Were a delight; and If the freshening sea Made them a terror 'twas a pleasing fear. For I was as It were a child of thee, And trusted to thy billows far and near. And laid my hand upon thy mane as I do hera.