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About Daily capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1903-1919 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 4, 1915)
THE DAILY CAPITAL JOURNAL, SALEM, OREGON. SATURDAY. DEC. 4.
ADVENTURES OF i:
t GEORG.C RANDOLPH CHCSTEK. '
Cr.or of "Walluigfocd."
CU MILES W. GODDARD
Read the story and then
T aee the moving pictures
J, Copyright, IMS, by the Slur Com
pany. All ForolKtl Right
' Th Slttping Boulit.
TWO long rows of bond float!
upou a canal of blue ooze. Be
tween tlio rows ran a wide
plank walk, and untied to tha
edgo ot Mils, In front ot each bead, was
a walut high pole bearing a pasteboard
tablet, tiHin which were ruled lines and
figures and writing. A weird llgbt
(danted down (torn tha blue glass, ot
Milch the low roof and south wall were
composed. A bell rang. Every bead
turned wttb a atidden expression of
luo tinted barred toward a door at the
ipper end of the plank walk.
The door opened, and through It anno
pompoua fnt German, whose hair and
mustache ami beard and atomncb all
rojoclod ao violently forward that to
Hiipport them be was compelled to walk
way backed aud spraddle lowed.
1 The bald bead with funny purple
nose upon Its fnco down near the cen
ter of the upper row turn! (Is watery
.eyes to the Jovial head which was Its
"Zwlck!" It said In mournful explana
tion. "And so that's the main assassin,"
returned the Jovial one, whose big, pink
face was the only smiling countenance
In the assemblage,
"Dr. Zwlck," repeatl the baldhead.
"I can't make up my mind whether
lie's a colored supplement or a comic
valentine," chuckled tho big one, "but
whichever be Is he's the peerless loader
in bis class, take It from me."
lr. Zwlck gated down sternly upon
Ids prey like a Spartan schoolmaster
who has made up bis mind to thrash
hc entire class to be aura of punishing
"There has been entlr-r-rely too much
taking It like a choke, this Zwlck
Tr-r-eatment of R-r-rhenmatlsin," he
rolled In a throaty bawl of author
ity. "It las no cho-k-kel .Beghkiunltig
f-r-r-rom tonight there will be no sit
ting upon porches no-r vlsaltlng in
r-rr-rooms afterr 0 o'clock. Her-r-r-xnaim,
Tho first six comprised a banker, a
lawyer, a senator, a broker, a railway
president and even a doctor, yet none
of them resented the Indignity of meth
od except with his staring eyes.
Dr. Zwlck cleared his throat
"Number-r one-o-five-three," he charg
(rd aternly, "you were yesterday iu the
no wtrl he thunder,!.
xtliagvhe and ate some r-rmsl meaclt:
Now, for one week you haft no uie-adt
at all H.uiiu, three ounces!"
i The fac of the banker festooned It
self Into a doren hldu grimaces a
the deadly doe approach! him. Tin
tears stream! fnm his eyes, as h
finished the torture, and he spluttered
mid ti;ttl and wtuvaed.
"Water!" he gasped In the shrtll fal
setto of acute strangulation.
IT. Zwlck, already putting wtta In
tiitsnattou over the slr.s of the next bead,
.tiinieil upou the banker a pit!' eye.
"las no water.'" he thundered, and
loft the banker to choke.
"Why does be stan J for that?" In
quired the newcomer.
Hv-aue," rapl Cornelia Roeke--ell,
"ometlino this cur."
"Thank yon," returned the pink fac
ed patient "You've hand! me the
rlcht tip." So remarking, he climbed
tip his nin! evinces'! sleplaJ.ler and
.hhI on the p'ank walk, a pink head
d Malxm of obesity In dripping blue
tiniw lie had met Cornelius R.vke
Well In the Intimacy of the mud hath,
and further accjualntance would be
"1 suppose tberr's alut WaX
IVW eut there pounding little rubber
ia!la tw the bt'lowy green," observed
v ' v
rvnlltngrord musingly, liullcrftlug tbe
crowded golf links, where age aud de
crepitude solemnly and vainly sought
to reuow youth and vigor. "I wouder
if only rich men get rheumatism."
"I hare It," argued the blue nosed
man, wbo, seen In tbe afternoon sun
on tbe porch of the sanitarium, proved
to be tho only seedy looking Individual
In the place. His nearsighted eyes were
now protected by thick, steel rimmed
spectacles, aud tho awkward stoop In
his shoulders explained why be bad
kept bis cblu In the mud. Altogether
he was so frayed and threadbare a
mini, both as to personality and cloth
ing, that Walllngford, an opportunist
who made bis own opportunities, would
scarcely bave wasted any time with
him except that be was ballled as to
bow to approach old Hockowell.
"Well, we can't all be handsome,"
consoled J. Kufus, glancing down at
tbe cracked and dingy little band bag
which represented the whole of the
hnldhcudcd man's traveling necessaries.
The baldhead was going away on the
rickety stage, huvlng completed the
"Xo, nor even lucky, like Dr. Zwlck.
Hera I am, with the greatest medi
cal discovery of the age," said the blue
nosed man, "compelled to stop my ex
periments aud give my last cent to old
Zwlck, because I couldn't use my
Walllngford looked at this man anew.
"Itlieumntlsm dope?" ho suggested.
"The germ of senility," stated the
other with quiet pride. "I've segregat
ed It, and I've been for thirty years
working on It."
"Tho germ of senility," repeat! Wal
llngford thoughtfully. "Tbe bug that
causes old age."
The buldheuded ninn suddenly awoke.
He hitched bis chair closer.
"The germ which causes old age," he
repeated Impressively, touching Will
llugford's knee with bis knuckles by
way of emphasis, "it begins Its work
In tho lower lutestlno and gradually
spreads throughout the entire system,
destroying the tissues and sapping vi
"Great!" agreed Walllngford, with a
smile. "If you last long enough to get
a patent on your trained microbes a
man with the price will be able to live
until ho la hanged or shot"
"Why. I wouldn't sell It," protested
the professor, shocked. "Sualley's sen
ility microbe must be a philanthropic
"I don't know but what It Is a better
plan," assented Walllngford.
Ho looked out at Itockewell, playing
clock golf Industriously, with the hoe
that it would make him live longer.
The best way to reach Cornelius was
from the outsldel "I'm going wltb you,
"Which la the laboratory and which
la the kitchen sink?" demanded Wal
llngford, looking around the III favored
quarters of Professor Snalley with a
cs.tllke shudder of discomfort
"I.ookt" the professor cried to Wal
llngford, holding up one of his test
tulies. "The finest gorms 1 ever saw!"
"I believe you're right" agreed Wal
llngford. "It's a full two shades dirtier
than the rest of them."
"Walt," urged the professor. "I'll
show you something that will do your
eyes good." Placing a tiny drop of
liquid from tho test tuln) upon a thin
glass slide, he cover! It with another,
clamped tho two together and set It
upou a rack, while he reverently took
from Its velret llnl esse a speckles
high power microscope. Its brasswork
shining like auultght On the stage of
this he placed bis prepared slide and
focu1 for a breathless live minutes.
"Now look!" he cried to Walllngford
"I expect! to aee a bug," Walling,
lord presently announced.
"A genu la not a bug," chid! Snalley
with a sudden return of bis mournful
ilea. "lint look again and remember
what yon see, for uow comes the won
derful part of the exhibit"
He was already preparing another
slide, placing between the two glasses
a drop taken from a Jar containing a
thick bluish white substance. Walling
ford did as he was told and obsen!
a numlter of small oval disks formed
of concentric black aud white rings
and each bearing a delicate frtuge
around the lgc, like iuttitl(ctimal
coir. These disks were slowly revolv
ing almut each other where thelrfrlnges
touched. Now and then one, roleas!
fnun Its neighbor, made a sudden dart
across the vast space of Its sixty-fourth
of sn Inch world and Join) another
group, to begin again Us alow revolu
tions, One of these was particularly
active, and Walllngford, beginning to
N highly Interested, named It Joe upon
"There's nothing to It, professor," be
divlatvd. turning from the microscope
with a sigh of relieved tenslou. "lit
tie .loe til bore la a bug, snd a had bug
at that, no matter what you say. And
are ttuvm the boys that nuke us take
to hair tonic and store teeth?
"Iet's rut out the prelim and bave
ihe main bout," suggested Walllngford.
"I waut to put a tet dowu on Utile
TT.a bewildered Snalley looked at him
solemnly and put the new compound
slide UHin tho stage where the prevl
ous one had boon. WaJllngforvl had
his eye to the microscope lefore Sualley
was through wttb hi manipulation,
and a grta of delight spread Itself upon
his face. The little mug! disk Sew.
a If by magnet to attraction, to tbe
edge of the white one and whirled
rapidly about thorn until they were
drawn into tbe vortex, when they sud
denly lost their color snd motion and
wr blott! out cutlrely.
Well, I win." d-lard Walllngford
triumphantly. "I.!ttl Joe Is weak and
wobbly, but be's tm in the ring. But
My! I'rvvfosw, It was a grand lltUe
Agbt, ind i n make It worth mors mon
ey to each of us than you could stack
la a railroad ferry."
"Xo, no!" protiwtevi Snalley. Thta fc
ta be a philanthropy, I tell you
"Sure it's to be a philanthropy,"
agreed WalUngrord. "Let's you and I
go right out aud Incorporate."
Walllngford rushed out of bis brown
stone front to greet three callers.
"Tell It to us quick, Jim," ordered
Ulncklo. "The only thing that we could
make out of your telegram wag thai
you were cruxy."
"I am," chuckled Walllngford, his
broad shoulders heaving and his eyes
half closing "cruzy with enthusiasm.
Our antique friend. Kockewell," he ex
plained as be led the way back through
tho richly decorated ball, "Is so cau
tious that he bides his money from
himself, aud the only wuy we can
lunko Cornelius restitute Is wltb a
twenty-six mile gun.
"Come right on In and get acqualut ;
ed, girls,'' Invited Walllngford cureless,
ly. "I've gono In for science on thl
Itockewell case, and we're staging tin
II. , . An.
Thay 8urvyd th Naw Place of Busi
greatest discovery of the age. I have a
baldhcadcd old Onion upstnlrs mixing
dope to keep men young.
".Vow, listen, lilackle. Here's who
you are." . Aud from a drawer In the
table Walllngford produced a very
much soiled oilskin packet from with
in which be took a clean, folded parch
ment Illumined with an extremely
gaudy collection of ribbons and sea la.
Opening this document, printed in Lat
in and three colors, he spread It be
fore lilackle and the girl. 'That la a
diploma of bacteriology from the Unl
versltle von Schllcsholix-Sturmstadt I
bought It for $lo from n poor devil who
couldn't make a living with It Iu this
country. Your name, as you will aw
by the lithograph there, la August
Schoppeuschnilitenmeister von I'niver
sltle von Schltesholti Slurinstadt.
"You see, this Snalley Is such n dum
my,'' begau Walllngford. "He's too
real. So you have to lie the display
scientist, demonstrator aud chief of the
medical stuff at the Snalley Sanitarium
Tor the Promotion ot tbe Cure of Sen II
"I am relieved," diared Blackle.
"I was afraid yon might want me to
undertake some dltllcult stunt. Thb?
diploma thing makes It easy. Wluil
language do I apeak?"
"Schmlerknse Kngllsb," replied Wal
llngford, "and as little of that as possi
ble. For your native tongue you may
Jabber a Utile Kartoffelkloeseburg."
"Sure." agrwd lilackle. "What Isltr"
"1 don't know myself," coufessed
Wnlllngt'ord. "Hut I do know this
much that in Germany dialects are ao
thick and ao different that a Mecklcn
burger and a Ousseldorfer have tc
make signs If they try to talk together,
and they do say that Xlecklenburger
can't understand each other. So It you
take a dialect that nobody ever heard
alHut you can get away with It"
"Do you supise hog iAtln would
do?" Inquired lilackle earnestly. "I
know three or four bog Latin dlalecb
we usid to use w hen I was a kid
Dothogoo youtliego knowthego, tlilllieg
"Say It again!" orletl Violet
"Great Scott!" exclaimed Walllng
ford. "Io you rememler that gtblier
Isb? ity Ueorge. It's been a thousand
years alnco I heard It or thought of It.
Here's your laboratory, Miaekle."
They surveyed the new place of busi
ness with bevx'uilng gravity.
"Where's the push button?" lilack
le said. "There's one thing I forgtit
-a alr of old green carpet slippers
embroidered w ith pink roses." He ap
preached the elalvmte array of scien
tific apparatus with a careless baud.
hlch Walllngfonl stayed.
"You're a pnvoclons brat," he warn
ed, "but there are- some things you
don't know. You're liable to connect
the gutooslcus with the sl.mibang anJ
kinvk tho dickens out of the bits ta ho."
"Well, wvil get another one Uen."
"I rUgxM up ihH place for Snalley.
but he couldn't stand prvserlty. So 1
had to move his old outfit up In the at
lie and cart up a load of cobwebs. Now
I'e's hapry. Come up and look bins
In the attic they found Snalley.
Walllngford gravely Introduced the
clrla. IIh-u Blackie
I'rofesaor Snailry, shake bands with
Herr Ivktor August Sbopponchmlt
tcnmelstor of the 1'nlversltle of Schlhw-holti-turuistadt.
the cmiiieut bactert
'ogtst of whom I told you."
Siial'ey Jumvvl u; sniff two pinch
es of aprlka aud actually aneeaed In
tiis exi Itetwnt before he graied Black
e fervently by the band.
iv:tghtl to meet jmo, I am aure.
iu are Just In time. Doctor Ioctor
IVvka-" And Snalley looked belplesa
ly at Walllogford.
"Just doctor." easily prompted tbe
master of ceremonies.
"You are Just Iu time, doctor, to take
lrt Id a mtcrciwmlcal step whkh.
though apparently trifling, will, I am
sure, result in vast ultimate advance
ment toward securing the bnrdy ger
mination which is essential to tbe elim
ination of certain Introgermlna! dltll
cultles which you will readily compre
hend." Wulllugford shivered, but Blackle
never batted an eyelash. - -
An hour later, dripping but triumph
ant, Blackle rejoined Walllngford and
the girls in the library.
"Well, can you do It?" asked Wal
"With my bands tied behind me,"
responded Blackle confidently. But
say, old man, get me a map of Ger
many and a mouthful of mush. I want
to practice that dialect My tongue's
so dry with It right now that you could
strike a match on It J. Rufus, I'm per
fectly willing to play in on this game,
and I love It, but I wish you'd tell me
why this Snalley onion can't be trusted
to do his own trick."
"Because a newspaper reporter would
corner blm iu four minutes," replied
Walllngford In deep disgust
"What are we to do?" asked Fannie.
"Plenty," Walllngford chuckled.
"Huve either of you girls a trusty eld
erly female relative who looks like
either of you?"
"Aunt Putty!" The girls Jumped ap
and clapped their hands. "She'd look
like Violet's twin If she were younger,"
The newspapers "ate it up," to use
Blackle Daw's expressive way of put
ting the matter. At Walllugford's call
they flocked to his place of business,
where Jackson's whiskers nnd absolute
ly humorless face Inspired confidence to
beglu with. They were ushered In
upon Walllngford and Billy tbe Yegg,
where the genial J. Rufus, while com
pelling respect by bis breadth of waist
coat and richness of cravat, at tbe
same time removed any possible chill
by bis own irresistible smile and hand
shake of good fellowship. They drank
Walllngford's wines and liquors wltb
avidity and smoked bis fine cigars and
Imported cigarettes with eagerness.
When he had them well soothed he led
them upstairs In droves, nnd In tbe
very first crowd were such stars as
Jlmson of the Orb and Hazard of the
"Fake, I guess," pronounced Hazard
carelessly. "Too much scenery to be
anything else. What do you think
"Fake, I euess," agreed Jlmson.
"Going to use the story?"
"Am I going to caU for my envelope
on Saturday?" demanded Jlmson tuuMg
nantly. "I should say I wUl use the
story, and they'll use it at the office,
not less than three columns of It, and
If the Orb don't top it with a double
page Sunday feature I'll quit the sheet
I won't work on a dead one."
They suddenly stopped talking as
they reached the head of the stulrs,
for Walllngford had paused before the
door of the front apartment and held
up a plumb warning hand.
"Gentlemen," said he, "I am about to
show you the svvret of life. Before
admitting you to this room, however,
I must warn you that this laboratory
is full of dangerous chemicals and still
more dangerous germs, and I must
ask you to kindly refrain "from han
dling any of the articles lu the labora
tory, this as a matter of safety to
yourself and to myself and Dr. Scbop
"Gentlemen, Dr. Sehoppensehmltten
melster," Introduced Walllngford, and
then suddeuly stopped as be caught
sight of Blackle and chokl and turned
red In the face and longed for a hand
kerchief to stuff Into his month; for
Blackle, whom be bad not seen In cos
tume, bad somewhere secured Inch and
a half lifters to put ou his shoe, mak
ing himself an Inch and a half taller
and making bis trousers an Inch and a
half too short Ho had doffed bis cus
tomary Prince Albert coat which had
made of his slender figure rather a thing
of grace, and lu Its stead wore a long,
skin tight gray sweater which came
down to his hips. Over this be had a
short monkey Jacket, which hit him at
about the waist and left not less than
six Inches of wrist revealed. Vpon his
head be wore the black silk skullcap.
uiHin his eyes tho big wooden rimmed
spectacles, and slowly uncoiling his tre
mendous gaunt length from his low
chair at the laboratory bench, be re
movl his four foot porcelain pipe from
bis mouth with a wave and, his feet
close together, bowed extravagantly
"Chendolmenss," he said, "I am
tileasl by meeting mid you."
Oiie of the younger reporters giggled.
Soma other smlll.
"Chendelmenss, be bleased to be
seaded yl," be Invited wltb another
wave of his pipe, and this was tbe
height of his audacity, for, while there
were nearly a score cf visitors In tbe
room, there were only two chair be
side his own. Yet Walllngford. ear
nestly desiring to shake Blackle until
his teeth chattered, was the only one
who olworvl the discrepancy.
Had any of tbe others noticed tbe
circumstance It would have been for
gotten Immediately, for In tbe next In
stant there was a terrific explosion
uKn a chemli-al work table.
Following this. Walllngford led them
up another flight of stairs.
"Thla, gentlemen," ald Walllngford
in a hushed tone at tbe door of tbe
attic, "U the laboratory of Professor
Jullu Alexander Snalley, the discov
erer of tb wonderful cure for old age.
For thirty years be ba worked for tbe
benefit of hnmanlty."
He threw open tbe door. Those near
est It started In, stopped. Tbe" pro
fessor, clad only In his underclothing
and shoos and with a half eaten bread
and chfeae sandwich clutched la bis
band, was lying upon but cot, snoring
Walllngford led tbem downstair Into
the dining room, where, snowing bis
knowkvlge of newspaper men, b bad
rdered the tab) to ba crewfed wltb
all sorts of bandy luncb, liquor aud
cigars. He then mnde a little speech.
The great Sunlley cure for old age,"
he advised tbem, "was never to be ex
ploited for profit" It was tbe insouci
ant Hazard of tbe Sphere who, em
boldened by the comfortable good fel
lowship of the occasion, Interrupted
tbe speech at that point
"I'll have to rewrite my Introduction,
Mr. Walllngford," he chimed out. "You
looked like a specialist In profits to
'You had my number," WalUugford
admitted. "I am a highly specialized
expert In personal profits. Now, boys,
I've handed you the whole game.
Good men were to live forever now.
If the newspapers were to be believed.
Newspaper men were enjoying a quiet
drink and smoke wltb Walllngford,
whom they were again Interviewing,
when Jeremiah D. Crimper was an
nounced. "Very glad to talk with you, Mr.
Crimper. I'm sure you will excuse the
preseuce of my friends here. I bave
no secrets from them whatsoever, and
you may talk right ahead."
"What practical arrangements are
you making to put this senility cure on
"The plan Is very simple, Mr. Crim
per. The Society For the Promotion of
tbe Snalley Cure For Senility, a corpo
ration not for profit, bos been organ
ized, with $1,000,000 capital stock, and
its bgoks are open for subscriptions."
"Then," said Mr. Crimper suddenly,
"I think I may offer you a subscrip
tion." "I thank you for the offer, Mr. Crim
per," said Walllngford politely, "but
before accepting It I shall be compelled
on behalf of Mr. Snalley's great philan
thropy to inquire into Mr. Crimper him
self and his claims."
"Well," Crimper stated, "I am here
ss the representative of another."
Walllngford's face instantly hard
ened. "I'm afraid your principal wUl
hare to present his own case," he de
clared. The gentleman agreed.
"To my principal there can be no pos
slble objections upon any grounds. I
handle his philanthropies, and I think
that bis benefactions are tbe largest In
"You don't mean Cornelius Rocke
welir "The same," Mr. Crimper prondly as
sured him. "Mr. Rockewell has bad
the professor of bacteriology of Rocke
well college examine Into the claims of
Mr. Walllngford arose and glared
loftily down at Crimper.
"There Is no use In discussing tbe
matter, Mr. Crimper," be said sternly.
"Mr. Rockewell must die at tbe hour
bis Maker Intended. He did not get
bis great wealth honestly. Besides,
why did he not come here in person?"
Mr. Crimper made three more vain
attempts to present argument in favor
of Cornelius Rockewell; then, with one
mighty gulp, be swallowed his chin
and went borne, while the gentlemen of
the press trod upon one another's heels
In their frantic haste to get to tbelr
respective papers with the tremendous
"Cornelius!" Walllngford, who had
spent two days at the window which
overlooked tbe street corner, rushed
back Into the study. "Everybody to
There was a mad scramble. Violet
dashed up to tbe attic to hide; Fannie,
bewitching in a nurse's uniform, slip
ped out across tbe side hallway and
into tbe wing of the bouse; Onion
Jones, looking like an Easter egg, with
his totally bald bead and his gaudy
butler's uniform, stalked solemnly to
the front door, while Walllngford and
Blackle beaded for tbe cellar.
"Remember, now. Onion." admonish
ed Walllngford, "You're a dummy."
"Don't worry. Jlin," grinned Blackle.
Cornelius Rockewell surveyed the stu
pid looking butler with Impatience
t, . IN- ,
-v v klW ,
"Deadf" whispered Rockewell.
when he was told there was no one
"Wbcn'Il they be back?" he rasped,
looking at bis old fashioned silver
"Ten mlnnte. sir," responded Onion
disinterestedly. "Wbo shall I say called,
"I'll wait" snapped Cornelius, stalk
He looked around blm sharply when
Onion nsbered him Into the study,
which Billy tbe Yegg now occupied In
"Wttt do you know sbout this senil
ity cure?" be suddenly demanded.
"Xothlng, sir." responded Onion du'.lj.
Mr. Kocke well eyed the stupid butler.
"What bars yon seen?"
1 don't like to say. sin It gives to
tbe creep. There's something right
now, tn tbt other part of tbe bouse"
He jerked with bis thumb tn tbe direc
tion of tb rear hail and relapsed Into
'Over there?" Kockewell rose.
"What Is It? 1 say, what Is It?" Cor
nelius' voice rasped with Impatience.
"If you can't speak, show it to me.
Here.'" He produced a bill from his
Onion Jones looked at tbe bill for a
long time; then be slowly took It, and
wltb many stops nnd hesitations led
the way out of the study, across the
rear ball and Into the wing of tbe rear
building. He opened tbe door cautious
ly, then told Itockewell to follow.
The ropm was fitted like a hospital
ward. Iu tbe center was an operating
table, on which was a still form cov
ered with a white sheet Over the face
was a mask.
"Dead?" whispered Rockewell.
"No," whispered Onion. "Tbey laid
her out last night nnd doped ber, and I
beard 'em say she's going out tomor
row morning to begin life over again."
, Onion bad approached tbe operating
table, and now be stealthily lifted tbe
"My heavens!" be gasped, stepping
back In astonishment.
"What's the matter?"' said Rockewell
nervously, looking at the still features.
"Why, last night, when they put ber
on this table, she was a shriveled old
woman with snow white hair. Now,
she Is tbe picture of health and middle
"It's the same woman, though," puz
sled Onion. "I can tell by the ear
rings." A little bell tinkled at the head of
the table, and Onion replaced tho
"Why, I'm young!" she cried. "Young!"
mask and dragged Cornelius Into a
little corner Inclosure. "It's tho nurse,'"
Looking out through tbe glass panel
tbey sa w Fannie Warden come In.
trim and pretty lu ber stiff white uni
form and white cap. With business
like promptness tbe nurse lowered a
white silk cage from tbe celling, which
covered the oiwrating table completely.
She turned a button and there was tbe
wblrr of a motor for about two min
utes; then she lifted the cage to the
celling, and. suppressing her giggle ovei
the whimsical mummery on which
Blackle Daw bad Insisted, she walked
sedately out of the room.
"And you say she was a withered,
white haired old woman last night?"
demanded Cornelius, trembling with
"Skinny," said Onion; "walked with
a cane, waxy face, white as chalk."
"And you say she's going out tomor
row?' "To begin life over again," repeated
It was 10:32 exactly when Onion
Jones, the next morning, led Cornelius
Rockewell on tiptoe Into tbe mysteri
ous room and lifted, tbe mask. This
time It was Cornelius who stepped
back with an exclamation of astonish
ment The woman who lay there was
a young and beautiful girl.
"The same woman." faltered Rocke
well, overawed by the sight "The fea
tures are unmistakable." He looked at
the earrings. The same!
The little bell tinkled on tbe head of
the operating table, and Cornelius, leav
ing Onion Jones to replace tbe mask,
started on a tottering run for the little
"Hush!" be warned Onion Jones as
tbat stupid butler joined him, and he
watched for the pretty nurse to come
through the door.
Asatn the white silk cage was low
ered. Again tbe whirring motor was
turned on. but when tbe cage was lift
ed the young and beautiful girl was
wide awake. She sat up bewildered.
She looked at tbe lock of golden hair,
and her sparkling blue eyes filled wttb
"Why, I'm young!" she cried.
"Young!" She sprang from the couch
and danced to the door and dlsap
appeared. followed by the nurse,
"How soon will your master return?"
shrilly demanded Cornelius.
"I've got money, money enough to
reach anybody. Do you hear me?
"Where's the little book, girls?" ask
ed WalllngfonS as he and Blackle Daw
walked into the parlor of Aunt Tatty
"Honestly, did he give you tbe mon
ey, Mr. Walllngfordr Incredulously
"If been In my bank and out again."
chuckled J. Rufus. and. taking tbe llt
Ue book which Faunie handed blm.
Walllngford crossed off tbe name of
"Cornelius Rockewell." "Here's my
certified check for 250,000 to add to
the Warden restitution fund. Besides
tbat. I gjt tbe annual endowment
which will let Snalley experiment for
the rest of his life and the entire coat
of our plaut down there and abool
$12,000 to go Into our expense fund."
"Tb celebration Is already ar
ranged." laughed handsome Aunt Pat
ty, ber mind now at ease. She bad Do
moral scruple so far as old Cornelius
Rockewell wa concerned. He was one
of those who bad so ruthlessly robbed
ber nieces. Take your partners, young
folks, and come Into dinner."
(CcatiiBsd xt Saturday.)
A Galley o' Fun I1
'' AN ALLEGED OPINION. ... . ,
"He has quite an oplnlpft of hi
skating, hasn't he?" " 7
"I should say so! He thinks nd
cold spell would be complete without
One evening when be had nothing
worse to do an Eminently Practical ,
man invited an Eminent Thinker t
dine with him at one of those hlgfV
class restaurants where the bill ot
fare Is printed in elegant French and
the bills paid in profane English. And,
because he bad the price, he ordered
a dinner that embraced indigestion la
all its subtlest forms,
When they had lighted their clgara1
the Eminent Thinker began to talk,
as was his habit. Although bis vis .
vis seldom read anything mora pro
found or elegaant than a few yard
of ticker-tape or the bulletins of
prize-fight, he was feeling well-fed
and listened kindly while the thought
ful friend delivered a profound homi
ly on Sbapespere. Being a critic of;
great erudition and much discernment
he undertook to prove that all other
interpreters of the great bard wer
wrong and that he alone had the In
side understanding. He demonstrated
to a nicety Just now Shakespere must!
have written each play and what his),
real conception of each, character
must have been. With bis intellec
tual pump finally began to suck the)
air and he had to stop for a fresh,
priming the Eminently Practical man
took a fresh grip on bis cigar and
"Would It be worth while to writ
plays like Shakespere wrote?"
. "Mehercule!" exclaimed the Emi
nent Thinker. "To write plays like,
Shakespere would not only make a
man immortal but would also make
"Then why don't you write some it
you know just how it was done?"
"Well, but but er but " gasped
the Eminent Thinker. "I am not
"Quite true," said the Eminently
Practical man. "But I am not tha
man who invented long division, and
yet I can work a sum in arithmetic
fairly well. Now you listen to me for
a while. When I started out in life I
was apprenticed to a carpenter, and
when I learned bow to make the body
ot a buggy I bumped myself and mads
one Instead of going around and tell
ing other folks tbat I knew bow.
When I went to school tbey taught
me how to add and subtract and I
promptly began to add to my re
sources and subtract from those of the)
other fellows. When they taught m
multiplication and division I began to
multiply my profits and divide those)
of other fellows. All through life,
when I learned exactly how anything
was done, I went and did It and got
the price ot doing it in my jeans. And
I flatter myself that I bave done fair
ly well." Here he stopped to puff up
and look red about the wattles before)
proceeding to annihilate his friend.
After having looked sufficiently im
pressive for some time he resumed:
'Now, if I knew how Shakespeia
wrote his plays I wouldn't go around
spouting about it but would give tha
scheme a try and perhaps go Shake
spere a few better." a
Of course this was terribly Ignorant
stuff for the Eminently Practical man
to talk and the Eminent Thinker
thought it as well to make no reply.
He noted the fact, however, that titer
seemed to be a pseudo truth in what
the Eminently Practical man bad said
and Intends to write a magazine arti
cle, on 111 roint nt an early dale,
A DELICATE PROBLEM.
"Do you think Cholley's manner la'
satural r affected?" ,
WelL I try to think the beat of eveiy
tody o I don't know which ta