Daily capital journal., November 21, 1914, Home and Farm Magazine Section, Page 16, Image 30

15
iTOMfi AND FARM MAGAZINE SECT f ON
A.
Stories With a Smfle
Xot Polly Ticks. .
DURING a political campaign a
candidate for the Legislature
was driving through the coun
try seeking votes among the farm
ers, when he met a young man In a
farmer's garb walking by the road
side. "Are you paying any attention to
politics nowadays?" he asked, after
starting his team.
The young man looked at him sus
piciously and drawled out: "No,
stranger, that don't happen to be my
ral's name, but if It was I wouldn't
think it was any of your darned
business."
This ended tho Intervlow as well
as the process.
i He Was Bight?
King Peter of Servia, who does
not mean to let Austria have every
thing her own way, once had for a
valet a man who seemed to find It
Quite impossible to understand an
order lntellicently. However, some
of his mistakes, though annoying at
the time, had their distinctly humor
ous side.
Oil one occasion King rotor sent
the man with a message to his wife.
Alas! He forgot it on the way.
King Peter was furious when the
man returned.
"Why, you noodle!" he exclaimed,
' "I don't believe you know what
w-o-m-a-n spells!"
"Trouble as a rule, sir," wag the
man's quiet retort; and His Majesty
now wonders whether the man was
as stupid as he used to appear.
When Scot Meet Scot.
The lady was the owner of a small
shop, writes the London Telegraph,
and her squire acquired the habit of
seeing her home, and carrying the
cash bag that contained tho day's
takings. It was generally heavy,
"You must be doin' woel, re
marked the gentleman, frequently.
"Oh, ay," the lady would reply,
"It's a guld bit business."
But she did not disclose that be-
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Those In turn are disposed ef
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TUB WINTOH MOTOB OAR 00.
Portland, Oregon,
Seattle, Wash. Spokane, Wash.
Bides the moderate drawings, the bag restaurant fishes
contained the counter weights. The sjlver spoon.
canny lover only discovered that fact
after marriage.
Three Ages.
The new Berlin botanical gardens,
says Lustlge Hiaetter, are wonaer
fully beautiful, but to small children
they are a forbiden paradise. Hoys
and girls under 10 are not permitted
to enter.
Herr and Frau Mueller found this
out to their disappointment when
they planned to take their little Paul
on a Sunday trip to view the beau
tiful gardens; nevertheless, they
gave their young hopeful a few In
structions, and started out
At the gate, the porter stopped the
young MuiiUer. "How old are youT
he Inquired. Paul answered: six
for the electrics; really 8; for the
botanical gardens, 10."
Would Howard Iter.
Mrs. Smith was an ardent worker
in iho, piia of the prevention oi
cruelty to animals, and, when Mrs,
Brown came to tea, told her a
Dathetlo tale of a donkey that she
had rescued from a cruel master the
day before.
The visitor was very interesieo,
and when she rose to go said:
I am so glad you have told me
all those fascinating tmngs anoui
animals, dear Mrs. Smith. I shall
never Rpa a donkey again without
thinking of you."
His SUtylnS rowers,
Two business men were lunching
In Fifth Avenue when an old gray-
honnl atnmned bv. "That's urown.
He works for me," said tho first
business man,
"He's an honest looking chap. Has
he got staying powers?" asked the
second business man.
"He has that," said the first. "He
began at the bottom of tho ladder in
70, and he'a stayed there ever
since."
Would Welcome a Change.
Little Tommy was the son of the
Smlthvllle Board of Education, but
political pull didn't seem to ease the
road he had to hoe at school.
Recently the school house burned
down, and when plans for a new
building were undor consideration,
the youngster went to the "Board."
"Father," he thoughtfully re
marked, "don't you think we could
have a round school house this
time lime?"
"A round schoolhouse!" was the
wondering response of father. "What
in the douce do you want a round
school house for?"
"Because," answered Tommy,. with
a plaintive sigh, "I am getting
mighty tired of corners."
In No Common Way.
Lady Once, last summer, I saw
aomo boys "treading for clams," as
they called it. They wore very dirty
looking boys; they were barefooted
foot unwashed, most likely and
they w - walking through the mud
at low tide. When they felt a clum
at their feet they pulled It out with
for 'em with a
The Keal Bacdokor.
An Englishman tells this Incident
of a trip he took to Russia. With
him In his compartment of the train
was an exceedingly well-informed
German, and the two grew very
friendly, Each was a stranger to the
other.
They had talked for hours over a
wide range of topics when the Eng
lishman asked the German If he hap
pened to have a Baedeker with him.
It was too much for the warm
hearted Teuton. Bursting with a
sudden and overwhelming enthusi
asm, he beat his breast with both
hands, exclaiming: "Got in Himmel,
I am It!"
It was none other than Karl Baed
eker himself.
A IiffrcuH Choice.
Mr. Plowden, the well-known Lon
don magistrate, who has Just retired
from the bench, has a great reper
toire of good stories.
His favorite one relates to a case
In which he appeared as counsel. In
the course of this case he had to
cross-examine the wire or a ui"
OU3 burglar. .
"You are the wife of this mam
he asked. j
"I am," she replied.
"You knew he was a burglar when
yon-married him?" he proceeded.
"I did," she admitted.
"How could you possibly marry
such a man?" Mr. Plowden aemanu
"Well, it was like this," the wit
ness explained confidentially. "I wl
getting out, and two chaps wanted
to marry me. It wasn't easy to
choose between 'em, but in the end
I married Mill there. The other cnao
was a lawyer, same as you, sir:
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Our 1913 Book de
serihos all the newest
novelties and tells.
how to nisi) t ni
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