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About Daily capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1903-1919 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 25, 1913)
PAGE TOUB DAILY CAPI TAL JOTTENAL, BAUEM, OaEQON. THUB8DAY, DECEMBEB 25, 1913. v . 1 Tl FROM STEL I Eemarkable Experience of Young Wo man Who Is Charged With Being Forger of Checks. NOW SHE IS WIFE OF VISCOUNT WHO IS INFATUATED WITH HEB Furnishes Bond of $1000 for Her Ap pearance and Harriet Her to Of fice of Justice of Peace. I ' ; ivmm mss uuto max. Los Angelas, Cal., Dec. 25. Whisked from behind steel bars in the county jail, through the office of a marrying justice, to tho most luxurious county justice, to the most luxurious bridal suite of the Hotel Alexandria, where (he gasped, rubbed her eyes and found out that she really is the wife of the Viscount Denman Clanorvon Campbell of England, was the fairyland exper ience yesterday of Nettie S. Putnam, Mrs. Putnam was a pretty divorcee. Sbo won the heart of Campbell, who claims to be a scion of Lord Clive of Stratford-On-Avon, a doscendant of the Clive of British Indian fame, who was touring America. Before leaving Los Angclo for San Francisco recently Mrs. Putnam passed some checks that later wore questioned. 8be was apprehended in Ban Francisco and returned to Los Angeles, the svdoring Englishman in her wake. Campbell cabled his relatives home, whereupon he announced that within two days ho would return to his lady 's Assistance. The second day ended at noon yesterday. Upon the stroke of the clock the vis count rushed itno tho jail with an or der for Mrs. Putnam's release. He had furnished her bail of 1,000, which he polled from a roll of yellow and green M thick as his nock. Through the jail corridors Campbell rushed the girl, and within ton minutes Justice Forbes had married them. The trip to the Alexandria wis mado in a taxicab in record tlnio. The couple, Campbell said, start for England Jan nary 2. t l JABS AND JOLTS We find some good in everything, whatever it may be, And if wo probe but deep onough, some virtue we mny see. Tho six-day rare, for instance is a pas time dull and drear, but, like the morry Christmastlde, it comes but ouco a yoar. After considering tho comparative popularity of various sports among tho undergraduates, Yolo lms decided to call Its now stadium the Bowl. No matter what happens to Larry McLean, he will always occupy a soft pot in our heart. lie onco rofiiBod to become a white hope. Yagottahandit to Burt Kouiicdy, who coaches a Lake Forest, Illinois, team, lie picked an all-star elovon and only six of tho players are Lako Forest men. It is said that Ad Wolgast conducts ft farm in Michigan when not engaged in making mntcko and calling them off. Billy Gibson has decldod not to match any more heavyweights. Ho does not ca.ro to have his fight club further contaminated by tho effluvium of camembert. Tho report that Charley Murphy in tend to start a ball Uwgu in Scotland must hare been duo to a misprint. It should have been a bull league. George Carpentior and Bombardier Wells fought in London for the chain piouship of something, but we cau't make out just what it was , We were about to suggest that Roger Brecnalian he traded for Joe Tinker, but we couldn't dovelop sufficient hardiKws of heart, linger Is too good ft fellow. The air in filled with brcer.es chilled, And storms of lilesk December, While far away the athlete stray Whnro sunlight smile the livelong day. But where the Hex and (Hants play I cannot quite remember. If Billy Papkt rm hurt his band ou ft punching bag, the only way he ran make any impression on George Chip b to use bras knuckles. Mr. Gilmer of the Federal league gets a coin mhi of advertising on the strength of a story which he threatens to spring next week. Mr. Gilniore is follower of the Murphy school of bullthrowing. Corset ami boom have been ham ntnred loneor and harder than anything Ue on earth. That's the reason you find them evc-ywher. II "' DIFFICULT NAVAL FEAT. Landing Big Field Guns on 8hor by the Trolley Routs. That the landing of field guns and munitions of war on shores wblcb ves sels cannot approach closely is one of the exciting tasks for tbe men on the warships of the world's great navies la tbrilllngly demonstrated. Tbe maneu ver is especially necessary In tbe na vies of the colonial powers, wblcb must be In readiness to land fighting forces on any of the unapproachable shores of their colonies. British, German and French 'sailors have long been trained in making such landings, and since tbe United States bas become a colonial power the crews of American battle ships are likely to be called upon for similar service. The battleship or transport carrying the guns anchors as near the shore as possible, and a cable Is stretched from the vessel's deck to a tripod derrick on shore. - A two wheeled trolley from wblcb are suspended the various parts of the guna Is drawn along tbe cable by a rope running to tbe men on shore. Tbe guns are dismounted, and several trips are necessary to laud all tbe parts of one gun. The most thrilling part of tbe work Is carried on by tbe men wbo ride on tbe load to keep It from sway ing or becoming unfastened from the trolley. Popular Mechanics. SECRET OF GOOD BREAD. Flour Should Be Aged In a Dry, Wall Vantilated Plsct. Here Is a secret that many house wives do not know and even some pro fessional bakers do nut understand. Flour should be kept in a dry. well veutiluted place. Tbe temperature should be abuut 70. To make good bread Hour should be aged that is. it should be kept dry and preferably where tbe air can reach It. Some persons warm a sack of flour und think that tills will dry and age It. but sucb treatment does not reach the middle of tbe flour. Experiments show that when flour Is aged properly there Is a slight loss of moisture, but tbe flour wilt absorb more water. In one test n fresbly ground sack of flour after sixty days loNt a little over one pound In weight, but It gulned so much In absorption that It nmde a gnln of several pounds In weight of dough over the orlglnnl weight. The gluten, which h the life of the flour, also heroines more elastic, and the flour grow whiter. There is no better wny for the house keeper than to keep u bnrrel or Hack of flour where It will bo dry und exposed to the air and also to keep n quantity of Hour sifted and rendy for tine. New Vork Sun. ' Trivial Causa of a Bloody War. In the year 1(15 1 n Polish noblemnn bernine obnoxious to the laws of his country by reason of bis having com mitted a crime, lie (led to Sweden, whereupon John CiiHlmlr, king of Po land, wrote to Charles Gustnvus. king of Sweden, demiindlng the surrender of the or) ml i lit I. The king of Sweden on rending the dispatch noticed tlint his own name mid titles were follow ed by two "ct oote.-iis," while the linmo of the king of rotund wns followed by three. Tho missing "ct cetera" so enraged the king of Sweden Hint he nt once declared wur ugnlnst Poland. The war whs cnrrlod on with great 'bit terness until lUtlO, when a ieaee wns signed nt Ollvn, nenr Dunalg. A con temporary writer (KochowsUyi poured out bis lamentation on ttie war In thoso terms: "How dear has tills 'et cetera' been to us! With bow many lives linvo these two potentate paid for these missing eight letters! With what strcums of blood bus the falluro of a few drops of Ink been avenged!" Oh, Wait Till Ha Returnel "Why, my dear," exclaimed the good friend on finding Mrs. Newed In floods of tears, "what Is the matter?" The young wife wiped her eyes Bud tried to compose herself and be lu- humanly calm. "Well," she began, with folded bands, "you know John ts away for a week." "Yes. dear," helped the lady friend. "Well, he writes to me regularly, and In bls-bls lust letter he tells me bo gets my photo out and kisses It ev ery day." "But that Is nothing for you to cry about!" exclaimed the good friend. "Yes. It Is," cried Mrs. Newed. bursting Into tears nfrcsh. "be because I took my picture out of bis ba-bug bo before he started Ju-Just for it Jo Joke and put one of uio-mo-muther's In Its place!" Not Qullty. A woman said to her grocer: "I'm going to stop dealing vlth you. You mix bad butter with your good." But the grocer, looking very much hurt, replied: "Oh, madam, how can yon misjudge mo so? It's true I sometimes mix a little good butter with my bud to make It better, but I'd never drenni of mix ing bad butter with my good to make It woree!"-l'hlladolphla Bulletin, Cited Hr Authority. "Now. children, can you nnme any other erenture that belong to the brut creation!" "1 can, teacher." "Then name the creature." "My papa. My mamma says so." Baltimore Ainerlcnu. Not Studied. Louise Iloc your husband treat you with a studied Indifference? Julia -No: bis unconcern Is quit natural. -Judge. fteferred duties, as I general ml. menu neglected duties. JOURNAL WANT ADS FOR IMMEDIATE RESULT Getting Around It The members of a party around a table In an exclusive cl- b in down town skyscraper were much amused the other evening by a controversy between their waiter and another em ployee of the club. One of tbe party bad ordered sirup. What tbe sirup was for bus nothing to do with this story. Going to the dumb waiter, tbe servitor shouted in his, best ordering voice: "Sirup!" "I don't getchu." came the response down the shaft "Sirup!!" this time with two excla mation points and rising Inflection. "Come again." was tbe imperturbable response. "Sirup!" It went up the shaft like tbe blast of an explosion. "Aw, spell it," said tbe echo. "8-n-r"-tbe waiter bad his feet planted firmly "s-u-r" he bad tight ened bis vest and taken a deep breath "s-su-r. Say, bring some one to tbe sbaft that can understand me. will yub?" And he waited with some dignity the coming of a person with sharper ears. Pittsburgh Post Courtship by Flower. In remote Alpine hamlets and vil lages, especially in the Bernese Ober Innd, there still exist ancient and pret ty customs of proposing marriage by the language of flowers. If a maid accepts a bouquet of edelweiss from a man she at tbe same time accepts blm as her fiance, the Idea being that the man has risked bis life to obtain the flowers for the woman he loves. An other method wblcb exists In the can ton of Glarus Is for the young man to place a flowerpot containing a single rose and a note on the window sill of the girl's room when she Is absent from borne and wait perhaps days for a reply. If the maid takes tbe rose the young man boldly enters the house to arrange mutters wltb her parents, but if the rose Is allowed to fade away the proposal 1b rejected without a sin gle word having been exchanged be tween the couple. Sometimes a fickle girl will keep a young man waiting a day or two for nn answer, but what ever It may be It is final. Whan Buttona War Big. Bachaumont writes In bis "Secret Memoirs," Nov. 18, 1780: "The mania for buttons 1b today extremely ridicu lous. They are not only of enormous size, some of them as big as six pound crowiiB, but miniatures and pictures are made ipon them, nnd this orna mentation Is extremely costly. Some of them represent tho medals of the twelve Caesars, others 'antique stat ues nnd still others the Metamor phoses of Ovid." Isubey, In bis bio graphical notes, snys that when he came to Paris be worked for a living by making copies of Vaulooa and Bouchers on the lids of snuffboxes nnd that for these medallions he was paid from (1 to 8 francs each. "As It was still the fashion," he said, "to wear buttons as big ns a live franc piece upon which cuplds, flowers nnd landscapes were cut III cameo, 1 went Into that business. 1 got 12 sous for each."-Phlludelphla Ledger. Act of Monster. Where is Cnrmanln? Translate It Into KIruian and a few who are up In the affairs of the middle east could Identify tbe Persian province. Most of us know ho little of that part of the world. But tbe chief town, Klrmun. also known us Carmanla. was the scene In 171)5 of one of the most terrible events ever In the history of Aslu. Aglm Mohammed, founder of theKaJar dynasty, then besieged and took the place and, raging nt the escape of his defeated rival, with three followers, ordered 70,(MK) eyes of tbe Inhabitants to be brought to blm. He counted them with bis dagger point and said to his minister, "If one bad been want ing I would have made up the number with your own eyes." London Stand ard Hi Finish. A politician was describing at the club tho death of a rival. "Yes, Jones Is dead." he suld, and. with chuckle, he held bis glass up to the light "Yes, 'Junes' 'is (lend. He slipped on the parquetry floor of his library and killed himself." Tho politician gnv a loud laugh. Tbeii ho added: "A hardwood finish, ehr-Exchange. Carnal In Water. Tbe camel la nbuut the only animal that cannot swim. It Is an extraordi nary fact that the moment the ungain ly creature loses Its footing 111 a stream It turns over and makes no effort to save Itself from drowning. - London Answers. Obeyed Order. Wife Didn't yon hear me ask you for $10? Husband-I did. Wife Then why do you give me only $5? Hiishnnu-Becutiae you told me yester day to believe only half what I bear. Soar Him. We are not surprised that man get nervous at bis own wedding. It Is prohuhly the first time be ever saw all the bride's kin lined up. - Chicago New. H 8hen Ono. Thespla Wheu were you a leading man? Foyer When the company had to wnlk back from Chicago-Brooklyn 1.1ft. Pertinent Query. Teacher (describing her encounter with trampi-And thon-1 filiated. Utile Johnnie Jeffries -Wl' yer left or wl' yer right, nni'iini? - London Tntler YOUR MISTAKES. " Study Thm, Than Profit From Thm, and Go Ahead. Study your mistakes. There are two kinds of mistakes. Those tbat happen from ordinary hu man mlstbinking and those that come from carelessness and petty untblnk- ! 1nB- Study your mistakes. No one ever gets too big to make mistakes. Tbe secret is that the big man Is greater than bis mistakes, be cause be rises right out of them and passes beyond them. After one of Henry Ward Beecher's sermons In Plymouth church, Brook lyn, a young man came up to him and said, "Mr. Beecher. did you know tbat you mude a grammatical error in your sermon this morning?" "A grammatical error!" answered Beecber. "I'll bet my hat that I made forty of them!" Half of the power of the forceful man springs out of his mistakes of one sort or another. They help to keep bim bumnn. Study your mistakes. ', But the mistakes tbat tear away the power of a man, weaken blm and make him flabby are the stupid, the reckless mistakes. Tbe clerk who for gets, the stenographer that doesn't care, tbe worker who neglects these are tbe ones whose life blood and vi tality are sapped and sucked away Into failure. Study your mistakes. One of the great things of each day for you Is to do your best, unmindful of mistakes. But after your work Is done and you realize your blunders, don't shirk, don't whine, don't de spond, but , Study your mistakes. Then prollt from them, and go abeud! From "You Can," by George Matthew Adums. CRITICS AND GENIUS. Carlyla Denounced Spencar, and Rue kin Ridiculed Whistler. The good critic must In some way begin by accepting literature as it Is. Just us the good lyric poet must begin by uceeptlng life ns It Is. He may be as full of revolutionary nnd reforming theories ns be likes, but be must not allow any of these to come like a cloud between bim and the sun, moon, and stars of literature. The mnn who disparages tbe beauty of flowers and birds nnd love nnd laughter und cour age will never be counted among tbe lyric poets, and the man who questions the beauty of the Inhabited world the Imaginative writers have made n world as unreasonable In Its loveliness ns the world of nature Is not In tbe way of becoming a critic of literature. Another argument which tells In fa vor of the theory that the best crit icism Is prnlse Is the fact that almost all the memorable examples of critical folly have been denunciations. One remembers that Carlyle dismissed Herbert Spencer ns a "never ending ass." One remembers' that B.vron thought nothing of Keats Jack Ketch, as he called blm. One remembers that tbe critics damned Wngner's operas ns a new form of sin. One remembers that Ituskln denounced one of Whis tler's nocturnes as n pot of paint flung in the fine of the British public. In the world of science we have a thou sand similar examples of new genius being hailed hy the critics ns folly and charlatanry. Itoliert I.ynd In British Bevlew. Thought Ha Was In India. When Uudyurd Kipling reached Lon don from India In his, search for fame and fortune he Irdged In some small rooms on Vllllers street. One morn ing n friend called, and when lie found I Mmunir In Kinllmr'K hIiiIiil' room he was surprised to see a handsome mirror which stood over the tlropluce "smash ed to smithereens." "Snakes." said Kipling, noticing the look of astonishment on bis friend's face. "1 was dozing In my chair yes terday evening, and iny foot slipped out of my shoo, which for comfort I had unlaced. Half waking. I felt wltb my foot for the shoe mid began slip ping It In when my toes touched tbe leather tongue. 'Snake!' flashed across my sleepy bruin. I gave one desperate kick, nnd when the shoe struck that mirror I realized that I wns In Lon don and not In India." Splendid, but Ladylike Golf. I know now when n young lady be gins to play "really splendid" golf, snys ii writer In the Glasgow News. Two young ladles entered our com partment nt Whltecnilgs. and. having placed a bag of shining clubs on tbe rack, one of them said to her compan ion, "Do you know, yon played really splendid gulf today." "Oh, how could you say tlint?" exclaimed the other In pleased tones. "You know I haven't long started. " "Oh, that's nothing," explained tbe rrltlc In tones that clear ly left no doubt In the mind of the criticised one "Didn't yon only miss tbe bull three times In eighteen holes?" Musical Tsat. Mrs. Newrlcb (who has advertised for t pianist) So you are the music teacher that answered my advertise ment? Plnnlst Yes, nin'Bm. Mr. Newrlch Well, sit down and play a couple of duets, so that I can ace wbut you can do.-Yonker Statesman. Modaat. Muggins Do yon ever He to your wife? Bugglns Only when 1 tell her I am not worthy of her.-l'hiladolphla Hev ord. A man whose only motive for action I wage doe n bad plee of work. t'harles Wagner. Chum 8avd Himself. A little dog. unlicensed, had been found in tbe streets and taken to tbe pound. He was an affectionate ani mal and greatly endeared bimself to all about tbe place. They culled him Cbum, and be joyfully responded ; whenever bis name was spoken. As tbe days passed, other poor, homeless dogs were put to death. Finally came Chum's last day of grace, and no one had come to claim him. Tbe next morning dawned, and tbe man who was to kill Cbum railed blm Into ihe yard. Chum danced and wagged bis tall, no doubt thinking something good was In store for him. Tbe man then said: "Well, Chummy, your time bas come. You'd better say your pray ers." Immediately tbe little forepaws were crossed, the little bead bowed, and Chum said his prayers. As tbe little body was still In this attitude of reverence a step was beard. Tbe at tendant looked up and saw tbe super intendent standing there. There were tears In the eyes of each. Chum is still living, but Instead of being no body's dog be 1b now everybody's. St Louis Republic. Proved Hi Profeaaion. In "Pierre Gurat Singer and Ex quisite." ts this story of the Parisian fevorite: Out alone one evening In 17U2 Gnrat was arrested by a patrol of na tional guards because be was unable to produce bis curd of citizenship, as decree! by the convention. And so be, Garat, "whose lurynx was said to be a whole opera," was token to the sec tion bouse, and the officer in command began bis Interrogation as follows: "Your profession?" "I sing." "That." retorted tbe officer. "Is not a profes sion. 1 also sing." "Possibly." drawl ed our hero, "but I sing better than you. Tbe case is uot tbe same." "Ob! You will have to prove tbat!" Garut always fond of an Innocent coup de theatre, immediately attacked one of the most florid romances of bis reper toire a thing of trills, roulades and "dying fulls," a performance so aston ishing In that grimy guardhouse tbat bis cuptors not only released bim, but escorted him home In triumph. A Novelty In Strikes. The management of a traveling the atrical company demanded 2 shillings for admission. Tbe visitors did not propose to pay more" than 1 shilling and after a hasty consultation outside the entrance formed a "theuter goers' union." Pickets were stationed, and within a few minutes 278 people practically all who were there had agreed not to pay the 2 shillings. Tbe manager appeared at the door way and refused to make the required reduction. , "I'll give y..u till I count twenty." said the newly elected president of the new union, "nnd nfter that our price will be sixpence instead of 1 shilling" Hu counted slowly to nine, and then the manager capitulated. The strike wns declared at nn end. the quondam strikers trooped Into the tin 1 1, nnd the union was dissolved after nn existence of about twenty minutes. Sydney (Australia) Mall. The Eskimo Mind. Tbe difficulty of conveying the true Idea of C'bi'lstlaiilty to the Eskimo mind Is related by Vllbjalmur Stefuns son: "Now. It seems that In Kotsebue sound, where the Christian doctrines of the Colvllle people had originated, fish ing Is hy nets only. As (Ishliig Is prac tically tbe only work done there the missionary had probably said to them, 'Do not put out your llsh nets ou Sun day.' inclining thereby 'Do not work on Sunday.- However that may be, the prohibition came to nur community In the form '(iud bus said you must not use llsh nets on Sunday.' Accord ingly tbe entire community polled their tlsh nets out of the river Satur day night, lisbed with hooka nil day Sunday and put tin- nets buck Into tbe water Monday morning." Uncorksr of Ocean Bottlaa. It is not tunny years since tbe high sounding post of uiicorker of oceuu bottles was atsiltshed In England. News traveled slowly In (Jueen Eliza tK'tb's time, and the first news she had of the taking of Nova Zetnlilu by the Dutch was found In a bottle picked up by a Deal fisherman mimed Tou fleld. wbo forwarded the niessnge to the lord high admiral, (Jueeu Eliza beth wns struck by the Idea and de creed that all bottles with luclosures found on the coast should be forward ed to the lord high admiral, Toutleld oelng appointed uiicorker. Tbe post survived for centuries. Bablsa and 8lp. Infants cannot sleep too long, but may tie deprived of needed rest If placed In light rooms or awakened by noises. Nothing sti unnerves the child ns lack of rest, and the health tuny be permanently mined If It does not sleep tbe fourteen hour or more that It siiotild. Help Expected. "Your aiilnry Isn't enough to support my daughter " "I'ln glad you've come to that con elusion so early, sir."-Boston Tran script. Just So. Crawford-To do n thing well, you know, you must do It yourself Crab-shaw-But you miss the fun of seeing the other fellow work. Judge. No Rivals. Nell -He aaya he baa never had a rival In love. Belle I suppose not He hii always been In love with blm, self -riillmldphla Record. There Is nn possible success without some opHsltlou u a fulcrum. Oliver Wendell Milium. ANCIENT MEDICINES. Curious Drugs War Used by th Doo tor of Laodicea. The city of Laodicea was noted for lis doctors' and its drugs. An especial and noted school of medicine flourish- I ed In Laodicea. We are told that "this ' school of physicians followed the teachings of Heruphilos, wbo flourish ed about 300 years before Christ and who, on tbe principle that compound diseases require compound medicines, begun tbat strange system of hetero geneous mixtures, some of which have only lutely been expelled from our own pharmacopoeia." The fearful and wonderful combina tion of drugs given by some modern doctors would seem to Indicate that they still belong to this school of Laodicea. One of tbe medicines for wblcb Laodicea was famous was an ointment for "strengthening tbe ears." whatever that may mean, while anoth er medicine of still more Interest to the student of revelation was the Phry gian powder, made in part from a pe culiar kind of stone pressed into tab loids, afterward powdered and mixed with some unguent to be rubbed on tbe eye as a cure for the various dis eases which aflllct the optics in east ern countries. Tbe world famous Galen speaks of both of these reme dies In his pharmacopoeia. Christian Herald. KEEPING UP APPEARANCES. Don't Let It Interfere With Your 8v ings Bank Account. It is quite possible that the American family Is too optimistic. It Is always going to have a larger Income next year or in five years. It desires to keep up In sociul matters with the people next door or farther up the street It buys pianos or motorcars or encyclope dias oh monthly payments, but In most cases puts no monthly Installment In the savings bank. It bas no margin of security. How much better It is to have a mar gin of resources than to be living con tinually on the ragged edge xf nothing, as many of us do Just because we are such devotees of tbe god of appear ances. While the high cost of living is one of the live topics of tbe day. a note of warning should be sounded a warning against extravagance, a suggestion that every family make a deposit lu tbe savings bank each month. Tbe future happiness und prosperity of the average American family depend upon the proper adjustment of Income and expenditure. It Is not what a mnn earns, but what he und his family save, that counts in determining the ultimate success or failure of bis life from n material standpoint. T. D. MucGregor's "Talks on Thrift" A Horse's Toenaila. Kew persona realize that u horse's boof Is really the same thing as the toe nails of human beings or of iml nnils having toes. The horn of a hoof grows Just as a toe nail does. The boof grows , more rapidly In unshod horses than In those wearing shoes, and it grows faster In horses which are well groomed nnd well fed. But on nn average the born grows nbout a third of an Inch n month. Hind boofs grow faster than fore hoofs. The toe of the boof being the longest part. It takes longer for the horn to grow down there than nt the heel. For In stance, tbe toe will grow entirely down In from eleven to thirteen months, while the heel will grow down In from three to five months. As the new born grows out any cracks or defects In the old gradually work down to where they can be cut oft", Just ns with human finger nails you can watch the progress of n bruise from (lie root to the tip. Proud of Him. Sandy Mcl'lutrson started to build n small outhouse of bricks. After the usual fashion of bricklayers, he work ed from the Inside, nnd, having the mn teriul close beside him. tbe walls were rising fust when dinner time arrived and with it his son Jock, who brought his father's dinner. Wltb honest pride In his eye Sandy , looked nt Jock over the wall on which ho was engaged and asked: "IIoo d'ye think I'm gettln' on, Jock, mnn?" "Famous, feythur. But boo doe ye get oot? You've forgot the door!" One glance around blm showed Sundy that his sou was right; but, looking kindly nt blm, be said: "Man, Jock, you've got a grun' held on ye! Ye'll be an architect yet, as sburc's yer feythur' a builder." Th Fateful F. They nre telling u story of a very smart business man who recently bung up on the wall of his waiting room a notice In black lettering on a white ground that rend: THI Pa Whnt You Want We I.Iks to Do Something For Homebody. Occasionally be heard laughter com ing from the waiting room, but It was only the other day that he discovered to bla horror that some wicked person had carefully scratched out tbe "f In "for." Pearson's Weekly. Thought Alike. "I sometimes wonder if my lift It worth living." "So do I." "Ah. then yon havt found your life disappointment." "Not nt alt: It la your life w were speaking of." Houston Post Sam Old Story. "In the old days doctors used to bleed patients for most of tbe dis eases." "They still do It my boy. They still do lt"-IVtrolt Pre Press. "" "A Vary Monatrou Great Ship." In her "Life of James IV.," Miss I.' A. Taylor says tbat James was untir ing Is bis efforts toward the realiza tion of a good Scottish fleet. In 1511. the building of the St Michael, "a very monstrous great ship." was com pleted. "All tbe woods In Fife, save one. bad been laid waste to build her." and material was also imported from Norwoy. According to Lindsay, this wonder.shlp. which was 240 feet long and 36 broad, "cumbered all Scotland to get her to the sea." Her sides were ten feet thick within walls of oak. and she cost the king, all told, some 40.000. He paid ber dally visits when she lay In tbe roads, often dining and supping on board, and exhibiting ber to the lords and ladles be brought wltb blm. Henry VIII. was covetous of ber. bnt when the singular request was preferred that James "wouldi grant Henry the loan of the apple of his eye. tbe great St. Mlchoel. the king's reply was to the effect that If be would make peace with France be might command all his ships." 81x months after their ' king's death the Scottish government sold this desirable ship to Louts XII. A Mystery of Diplomacy. . Of disappearances, most mysterious was the case of Benjamin Bathurst, wbo vanished on Nov. 25. 1809. while engaged on a secret mission for tbe British foreign office. Vienna wostb young diplomatist's objective and. with a friend and valet In a post cbulse, Perleberg. a small posting town In North Germany, bad been reached. Here Bathurst supped and slept, awaiting the arrival of fresb borses. Waking, be asked if tbe horses were ready and passed out of tbe inn door to make Inquiries. Eight people buw him go out but none ever set eyes on blm again. Various theories were set ufoot Napoleon's spies, robbers, illness. About three years ago. In the forest near Perleberg, a skeleton was discovered with a bole In tbe skull as from a heavy blunt Instrument Was It that of "the English lord," as Perle berg people surmised? London Tatler. Th Illegible Writer. A protest which Michelangelo once made to his nephew against bis send ing letters in illegible handwriting will arouse a great deal of sympathy In tbe breast of modern sufferers from tbe same form of rudeness. It Is contain ed in a letter given In the "Life of Micbelnnirelo." "1 uevnr receive a letter from you without being thrown Into a fever be fore I can rend It. 1 am at a loss to know where you Icnrat bow to write! Little love here! I believe If yon bad to write fo the biggest nss In tbe world you would take grenter care. 1 threw your Inst letter Into the fire because I could not read It. 1 cannot therefore reply. I have already told yon, and constantly repeated, that every time I get a letter from yon fever attacks me before I succeed In reading It" Insurance and Assurance. Tbey were talking, the little group of agents, about the words lnxurnii',e nnd ussurauce. some claiming that the first and some that the second was the better word to use. But wltb a scornful laugh a Boston agent In gold rimmed spectacles said: "You are nil verj Ignorant Insur ance Is no better and no worse than assurance. Each has u special signifi cance, and each is equally good in its place. Tbe place for assurance Is wtlere precaution is taken against it certainty against, that Is, death. Life assurance, we should say If we spoke wltb perfect correctness. The place for Insurance Is where precaution Is taken against an uncertainty, sucb as Hre'. shipwreck, burglary. Fire Insurance, marine Insurance, we should say." Exchange. When Macaulay Was Boy. At one period of his boyhood Murnu Iny's fancy was much exercised by the threats and terrors of the law. He bad a little plot of ground nt the back of the bouse marked out as Ills own by a row of oyster shells, which ft maid one day threw away as rubhisb. He went straight to the drawing room, where bis mother was entertaining some visitors, wulked Into the circle nnd said very solemnly. "Cursed be Sally, for It Is written, 'Cursed Is he that renin vet h his neighbor's land mark. '"From U. O. Trevelyan's "Life of MacHiilay." Considerate. Clublelgb tut midnight i-My wife Is very III, nnd the doctor says she must bave no suddeu shock. Clinton Then what are you doing here ut the club nt this hour? JL'lublelgb-l'tn afraid to go borne before the usual time lest I give her a shock. -Boston Transcript Thoughtful Husband. She Are you wearing those pretty suspender I gave you for your birth day, George? HeNo, dear; I was afraid tbe null I'm using as a button would rust em.-Yonkers Stutesmnn. A Caution, "Dnrllng. I will tell you In poetry of burning meter that you are the light of my life." "All right, but don't do It with the gas meter." -Baltimore American. Eaay Work. He (bitterly) I supiuae you consider It quite a triumph to make a fool of a man? She Ob. dear, no! A triumph la something done that was difficult of achievement Making Connection. Knbker-Llfe Is bard Borker-Tes: by the rim your mother atops forbid ding yon to eat Jam the doctor begin. New Vor Hun B