Page Six
Thursday, September 17, 1970
The Nyssa Gate City Journal, Nyssa, Oregon
“Well,” came the patient re-
sponce, “with a tub you sit
down.”
The day before a big col
lege game a bombshell burst
on the coach with the dean’s
announcement that the star
player had been disqualified.
The coach hurried to the dean
to ask why.
The dean said, “We caught
him cheating yesterday.”
“I don’t believe my player
would cheat,” the coach blus
tered. “What evidence do you
have?”
‘‘The star athelete sat right
across from the star student.
When their exam papers were
compared, it was found the
two were edentical on the first
nine questions.”
“But,”
said the coach,
“that doesn’t prove anything.
Maybe the player crammed.”
“I can answer that best,”
said the dean, “by the man
ner in which they replied to
the last question. The A stu
dent wrote:
‘I don’t know.’
The player wrote:
i don’t
know either.’ ”
...
A hotel desk clerk received
a long distance call about an
overnight reservation.
“Do you want a room with
a tub or a shower?” the clerk
asked.
“What’s the difference?” the
caller replied.
One girl to another: “Well,
it’s true we are having a lit
tle disagreement.
1 want a
big church wedding and he wants
to break off the engagement.”
»
♦
♦
An old man walked into the
police station and asked the
sergeant, “Can you tell me who
my landlord is?”
“Why, he’s the man you pay
your rent to,” answered the
man at the desk.
“The old man shook his head
and said, “I don’t pay rent. A-
bout nine years ago I found me
this house, moved in, an’ I been
living there ever since.”
"Then why worry?” said the
sergeant. “You have no com
plaint.”
“I sure have,” shouted the old
fellow.
“If he don’t fix the
MacSweeney, the carpenter,
had just been granted another
raise in pay, but when his
brother from the country asked
him how he was getting along,
he sighed and sadly shook his
head.
“But you’ve got a good job,
haven’t you?” said the brother.
“One of the best,” replied
MacSweeney.
“What’s the trouble, then?”
“Wages—that’s the trouble.”
“But, I thought you just had
a big raise in pay.”
“By golly, that’s just what’s
bothering me. My wages are
so dadblamed high now 1 can’t
ever afford to take a day off.”'
»
♦
»
A talkative worker spent most
of his time bemoaning the fact
that fortune seened to smile on
everybody but him. When an
other employee with less sen
iority was promoted, he
complained;
“It’s the same
old story. The other guys get
all the breaks.
When is my
ship ever going to come in?”
“Perhaps,” suggested a fel
“ I admit that women are more
low worker, “it will when you
vain of their personal appear
learn that steam has replaced
ance than men,” confessed the
wind.”
lady lecturer.
“Why at this
moment the handsomest man
in my audience has his neck-
tie knot pulled around under
his collar.”
Whereupon forty-eight mas
culine hands furtively reached
up and adjusted supposedly as
kew neckwear!
roof soon, I’m gonna’move
out!”
♦
WheLL’s & DaVie'S
MinCED HaM .
21bS. . . .
■
*
*
*
In an overcrowded class-
room, a teacher’s morning at
tendance report to her prin
cipal started off with: “Help!
They’re all here!”
♦
When a man was hauled into
court for non-support of his
wife, he explained to the judge,
“I was hoping her father would
repossess her.”
“Why, ah, yes sir,” replied
the slow-moving waiter.
“Then hand me a tip. I’ve
waited three-quarters of an
hour for that steak I ordered.”
...For This City-Wide Celebration of Peggy and My
Wedding Anniversary. It Was Real Nice of You. .
We Appreciate It! - Charlie Zinn.
CANNED P0P__2L±
POUND 10<t
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Frying Chikens. eecH98c
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CORN V-
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r Free Button Shoes & Stave Corsets
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HORSES SHOD* $5.00 Per Foot
Your LuCky nO. plUs SI getS lo GaLs oF gasS
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East Side Market
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NYSSA
tor Your
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iour vnange
iui
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Excellent Food . . . Service
511 MAIN
i - asti )
FREE GAS . . . With Each Purchase of Green Stamps.
(Singly Or In Litters)
Too LucKEY NuMbeR HQLdeR ! !
NYSSA, Oregon
ON THIS ANNIVERSARY (^Hn DATE
t
C'
Free Grub
208 Ee«l on Mane
Things are pretty will evened
up in this world. Other peo
ple’s troubles are not as bad
as yours, but their children
are a lot worse.
Genius:
a man who shoots
at something no one else can
see, and hits it.
“I could go for a nice juicy
*
*
*
sirloin about now.”
M Thanks Folks
(BEEN CHEWED onLEE 1 (ONE) TIME)
BANNANERS-
Old.
Two small boys were ex-
ploring the zoo together. When
they got to the panther they
didn’t know what it was. As
they started around the enclo
sure they came upon the word,
“Dangerous.”
“Oh, yeah,” explained the
older boy, “that is a dang-
garoose.’ *
*
*
“One thlng you get more o{
A small-time football coach
for
your money these days is
with a reputation for optimism
“Yes, ma’am,” saidthesail- bills >.
came into the locker room to
or, relating his experience to
give his team a pre-game pep
an
old lady.
“I was torpe
talk.
doed in the Atlantic and lived
‘‘All right, boys” he cried
for a week on a tin of sar
cheerfully, “here we are, un dines.”
beaten, untied, and unscored
“Dear me,” said the old
upcn—and ready for the first lady, sympathetically, “how did
game of the season!”
you keep from falling off?”
*
*
*
♦
♦
♦
“What am I to do with this?”
grumbled the motorist as the
police clerk handed him a re
ceipt for his traffic-fine pay
ment.
♦
♦
♦
“Keep it,” the clerkadvised.
“Is it customary to tip the “When you get four of them,
waiter in this restaurant?” as you get a bicycle.”
♦
*
♦
ked the diner, looking at his
watch.
WANTED
CussTomers (EXXperience NoT neCesSary)
... fir ThEez K-r-a-zy dAY (rAw) vicTuals
♦
A college student had been
pestering his father for a new
car.
On a visit to the cam
pus, the parent pointed out that
most of the cars in the parking
lot were quite old.
‘‘But, Dad,” the youth pro
tested, “those cars belong to
the faculty!”
PH. 372-2986
76’ STATION
«
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GET SOME
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’CAUSE OF YOUR
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202 Main Street
Nyssa, Oregon
Dial 372-3347
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e
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I
WE MAY BE DR1V1N’ U’ BUGGY!
IT ISN'T OURS!
BUT, IE *F. ARE - WE ALSO KARRY
INSECT REPELLENT i SPRAZE!