Page Six Thursday, September 17, 1970 The Nyssa Gate City Journal, Nyssa, Oregon “Well,” came the patient re- sponce, “with a tub you sit down.” The day before a big col­ lege game a bombshell burst on the coach with the dean’s announcement that the star player had been disqualified. The coach hurried to the dean to ask why. The dean said, “We caught him cheating yesterday.” “I don’t believe my player would cheat,” the coach blus­ tered. “What evidence do you have?” ‘‘The star athelete sat right across from the star student. When their exam papers were compared, it was found the two were edentical on the first nine questions.” “But,” said the coach, “that doesn’t prove anything. Maybe the player crammed.” “I can answer that best,” said the dean, “by the man­ ner in which they replied to the last question. The A stu­ dent wrote: ‘I don’t know.’ The player wrote: i don’t know either.’ ” ... A hotel desk clerk received a long distance call about an overnight reservation. “Do you want a room with a tub or a shower?” the clerk asked. “What’s the difference?” the caller replied. One girl to another: “Well, it’s true we are having a lit­ tle disagreement. 1 want a big church wedding and he wants to break off the engagement.” » ♦ ♦ An old man walked into the police station and asked the sergeant, “Can you tell me who my landlord is?” “Why, he’s the man you pay your rent to,” answered the man at the desk. “The old man shook his head and said, “I don’t pay rent. A- bout nine years ago I found me this house, moved in, an’ I been living there ever since.” "Then why worry?” said the sergeant. “You have no com­ plaint.” “I sure have,” shouted the old fellow. “If he don’t fix the MacSweeney, the carpenter, had just been granted another raise in pay, but when his brother from the country asked him how he was getting along, he sighed and sadly shook his head. “But you’ve got a good job, haven’t you?” said the brother. “One of the best,” replied MacSweeney. “What’s the trouble, then?” “Wages—that’s the trouble.” “But, I thought you just had a big raise in pay.” “By golly, that’s just what’s bothering me. My wages are so dadblamed high now 1 can’t ever afford to take a day off.”' » ♦ » A talkative worker spent most of his time bemoaning the fact that fortune seened to smile on everybody but him. When an­ other employee with less sen­ iority was promoted, he complained; “It’s the same old story. The other guys get all the breaks. When is my ship ever going to come in?” “Perhaps,” suggested a fel­ “ I admit that women are more low worker, “it will when you vain of their personal appear­ learn that steam has replaced ance than men,” confessed the wind.” lady lecturer. “Why at this moment the handsomest man in my audience has his neck- tie knot pulled around under his collar.” Whereupon forty-eight mas­ culine hands furtively reached up and adjusted supposedly as­ kew neckwear! roof soon, I’m gonna’move out!” ♦ WheLL’s & DaVie'S MinCED HaM . 21bS. . . . ■ * * * In an overcrowded class- room, a teacher’s morning at­ tendance report to her prin­ cipal started off with: “Help! They’re all here!” ♦ When a man was hauled into court for non-support of his wife, he explained to the judge, “I was hoping her father would repossess her.” “Why, ah, yes sir,” replied the slow-moving waiter. “Then hand me a tip. I’ve waited three-quarters of an hour for that steak I ordered.” ...For This City-Wide Celebration of Peggy and My Wedding Anniversary. It Was Real Nice of You. . We Appreciate It! - Charlie Zinn. CANNED P0P__2L± POUND 10. came into the locker room to or, relating his experience to give his team a pre-game pep an old lady. “I was torpe­ talk. doed in the Atlantic and lived ‘‘All right, boys” he cried for a week on a tin of sar­ cheerfully, “here we are, un­ dines.” beaten, untied, and unscored “Dear me,” said the old upcn—and ready for the first lady, sympathetically, “how did game of the season!” you keep from falling off?” * * * ♦ ♦ ♦ “What am I to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a re­ ceipt for his traffic-fine pay­ ment. ♦ ♦ ♦ “Keep it,” the clerkadvised. “Is it customary to tip the “When you get four of them, waiter in this restaurant?” as­ you get a bicycle.” ♦ * ♦ ked the diner, looking at his watch. 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