QUEAL, squeal,
said Pinky Pig.
SX.
•
aqoeal.
Broth*
“It most certainly la," sald
Sammy Sausage.
“I’ve never heard of anything sc
nice." said Master Pinky Pig
And his mother added,
^It’s fine squeal, squeal, it’s fine
1
MI m Ham. An^.
grunted five times, one grunt after the
other to show that she agreed.
“What are you all talking about?'
asked Bod Top, the rooster
^"You dont know?" asked all the
“Oh yea, I know," said Red Ton.
crowing proudly.
“Then why did you aakF inquired
Brother Bacon.
"Ton haven't much sense,” said Bad
Top. “Of course I don’t know or I
wouldnt have asked.”
“Well did I ever," grunted Miss
Haiu Ton said one moment ago that
you did know and now you say you
dont know. Which do you mean? Do
you know what we were talking about
or dont your
“Yes,” said Sammy Sausage, “that la
what we would like to know."
“Well," said Red Top, "I don’t know,
and If I had I wouldn’t have asked
you. When I said I knew I thought
you all had sense enough to know that
I was joking. It
seems that none
of you can take a
Joke."
"Take a joke,"
repeated Brother
Bacon. “You say
that none of us
can take a joke.
Well, why should
we? A joke isn’t
anything to eat.
What would we
be doing with a
joke I'd like to
know.”
"Yes,”
aald
Porky Pig, “we’d
all like to 1 know what we would do
with a joke.'
And all the pigs squealed.
"We’d like to know what we could
do if we took a joke. It’s nothing
to eat so why should we take it?”
Red Top the rooster clucked and
crowed and grinned.
“This is the best joke.”
"What do we care about it being
the best joke?” asked Brother Bacon.
"We’ve already told you we didn’t
care about a joke because It was noth
ing to eat. We don’t care whether it
is a best one or not. Now if you
were talking about a best dish of food
—that would be different”
"Yes, that would be quite different."
squealed the other pigs.
"I was wrong)” said Red Top grin
ning. “Of course you have no wish
to take a joke because it is nothing
to eat. I meant, of course, that it
was a joke when I pretended I knew
what you were talking about just
after I had asked you that question.
I wouldn’t have asked you if I had
known, as I have said before. And
I wouldn’t have bothered to have had
a litle joke with you if I had thought
that you didn’t care about joking. In
fact you care about nothing but eat
ing.”
All the pigs grinned and twisted
their little tails.
"We show we’re regular pigs," said
Brother Bacon.
"We’ll forget about jokes and jek-
_ _ ——*vp.
iwi dm
you were talking about. I would
—__________ like to hear. I
don’t know really.
That’s ths truth.
And that’s not a
joke"
“We were talk
ing about It be
ing such a good
thing.” explained
Miao Ham.
“What is suck
a good thing?"
asked Red Top.
"This Idea of
New Years reso
lutions.” said Miss
Ham. “You see
we heard that
every year around
this time folks and creatures began
making good resolutions. And we've
made ours. We think they’re fine and
we hope to live up to them.”
“That’s good.” said Red Top. “But
what are your resolutions?" be asked
after a moment.
“To got all we can to eat, each of
us,“ said Miss Ham. “and never to
think or worry about anyone but our-
selves.”
“Well, I never." said Red Top. “You
don’t know much about the real mean
ing of good resolutions, but what
should I expect? After all your
are
only pigs."
“Pigs with good resolutions,”
posted Miss Ham.
Old Oilcloth.
•■■■•
Bank Bldg.
Ground Floor
The wassail bowl or loving cup,
filled with spiced ale, was In use in
New Year celebrations In Old World
countries, and children would go
about the streets caroling.
• • •
In England December 25 was the
New Year’s day until the time of WM-
11am the Conqueror, His coronation
occurred January 1, hence the year
was ordered to begin on that day.
England, however, gradually fell Into
unison with the rest of Christendom,
and began the year the 25th of March.
The Gregorian calendar restored Jan
uary 1 as the gateway of the year but
it was not until 1752 that England
adopted this date.
« • •
The custom of exchanging New Year
presents still bolds in France and the
Latin countries.
Crabtree has new community hall.
1
nsai^
Pacific Abstract Company
L. ▼. EBERHARDT. Prop-
Happy ®ew year to evrybuddy an
it wont be Christmuss agen for a
hull yeer an its my berthday <o-
morrer but I dont gess I will get
nothin cause my fother he sod bi.»
pocketbook is got a blow out from
Christmuss an its a flat tire now.
jlm dash
Mister Pioveaon what lives up to
Wheeler give Judge Stanley I a
hundred dollars for Christmuss I
gesB an Judge Stanley he give It 10
the county to pay bills with,
He
wus rested for havin sum raisin
mashes an so when him an Julge
Stanley talked about it Mlstor Pio-
veson he sed he wood make it all
rite so Judge Stanley sed well you
jess hand over | a hundred dollers
an that will fill up the bill. Raisin
mashes is to make you happy for
Christmuss I gess.
jlm dash
Sheriff Aschlm an Mister Luc at
an Mlater Holden wus up to Bay
City to a party to Mister Larson’s
house wlch la cashier up to the
bank thare. Nobudy wus hurt.
Mister Fred Messersmith’s broth
er is here to stay all the time now
from Springfield wich is the capithe
of Illnols. He alnt a pollertishun
he is jess a gentleman. The cheef
sed you cant be both. He sed neer
evrybuddy in Springfield Is a poll-
ertishun the cheef did. He’s got his
fatniy with him .also.
jlm dash
Mister Hacjet wlch is from Long
Prairie sed the storm put his lttes
on the bum but he got them fixed
up for Christmuss Jess the same so
he cood see what wus in his stock
in I gess In the mornln.
Jim dash
Mlater Page had am cumpaey up
to his house wlch wus Jess his
daughter from Orenco I gees cause
she looks like him.
jlm dash
I seen Mlsa Patterson jess now
na she sed she never dun so much
blsnees in her hull life like she did
ChrMmusa.
She sed peepte got
hats what alnt never got hats from
her before an corsets also.
FORGET PAST, START ANEW
WITH NO APOLOGY FOB
YESTERDAY
youth, because fno person is exempt
from moral obligations. There is no
age limit in life’s battle. When we
are through with the world the
world is through with us.
Too
many persons consider it fashionable
to "retire” at a certain age, and
that age is getting constantly low
er.
If one has not found life’s pltg-e
before forty, the more the reason
for his doubling his efforts after
forty. A man should not consider
withdrawing from life's toil at fif
ty, and one should not think him
self old at sixty. Gladstone was do
ing the best wtork of his life at
eighty-five, and at eighty-seven
toured England on a speech-mak
ing trip on behalf of Armenia.
Little streams often dry up
the desert, but great rivers run
strength to the bea, and turn
wheels of commerce before they
finally plunge into the ocean. Small
lives are easily discouraged, but
every great life is rooted in the
past, blossoms today and bears
fruit tomorrow.
The gieat life is ahead, because
we have the blessed results of yes-
today’s experience.
The future is
full of promise. America’s greatest
history is yet to come. 1921 was
far better than 1920; 1922 will be
better than 1921, if we will make
it so.
We shall find this a very
good old world, if we ate willing to
do our part.
"Success consists not in never
falling, but in rising every time
fall." —Nathan Howard
Grit.
Box Up All Mistakes ejpd Troubles
That Never Happened and
Bury Them Deep.
N SCOTLAND New Year s
day has even more impor
tance than Christmas. High
land laddies form proces
sions and go from house to
house singing and receiv
ing food and gifts. From Scotland
also comes the curious superstition
that it is unlucky to take anything
out of the house on New Year’s day
before one has brought something In;
hence members of the family may be
seen carrying a piece of coal or any
small object Into the house, to prevent
misfortune during the new year.
• • •
A quaint New Year custom In Her-
fordahlre, England, is to weave black
thorn into a crown, singe it slightly
over a fire and stand around It repeat
ing the words, "Old Cider." The
crown is then hung up for luck during
the year.
• * *
im
Both Phones: Ball ll-J
P. 0. Box 1»7
I visited a penitentiary one time.
The turnkey went before, unlocked
all the doors and carefully locked
them after we had gone through.
We went from cell-house to cell
house and from corridor to corridor.
We could not go back, but we
could go forward..
Forget about
last year. December 31 locks its
doors forever.
You can’t unlock
'.those doors.
What has been done
cannot be undone. Perhaps you be
gan your life’s journey quite a-
while ago, 1900 is gone!
1910 is
gone! 1920 is gdlpe! Those years
all sped by and they are locked for
ever. They are gone with lost op-
portnittes, wasted privileges, brok
en pledges. You cannot call them
back.
Regrettable it is we cannot go
back, and, with the added experi
ence of years live a portion of our
lives over again.
Every high-
minded person would do different
ly if he was given the last ten or
twenty years to live over. But why
think over the past? Why nurse
the unfortunate in your bosom?
You catjnot go back if you would;
if you are sensible you would not if
yo could. To brood over life’s un
forgotten past only doubles the
present load, makes one more mor
ose and crabbed, and deepens the
furrows in One’s brow. Wipe off
the slate. Box up all omissions, all
“shallow miseries,” all mistakes,
all. the troubles trat Sever happen-
ed—and bury them.
Head erect,
Then about face!
chest out, shoulders back, and—
Look every per-
forward march!
son squarely in the eye, make no
apology for ysterday, for tomorrow
is before you. The new year I b
yours. The world lies at your very
feet.
This Is not a message simply for
PERFECT POLITENESS. On
arrival of a train in Nairobi Station
the other day three lions entered a
carriage. It speakB well of the court
esy of the passengers that to a man
they gave up their seats.—Punch
< London).
A LINE TO GET ’EM: Who’ll be
the first dealer to advertise; "Get
an automobile or an automobile wl't
get you?”—Greenville (S. C.) Pied
mont.
Complete Set of Abstracts of thss Records of Tillamook County
TILLAMOOK
OREGON
TOPS!
Standard Top Recovering Outfits for Fords
everything ready to put un
same put on $i 1.50
ANNO UNCEMENT
ic i cw i crmo f omao i o ie H»
Ford Rear Curtains put on $3.50
Celluloid in side curtains J4c square inch.
All other tops in proportion.
See me before buying
AX/Ehereby notify the toade that we will
Order by mail for Ford Tops.
discontinue carrying dairy feed in stock after
Weight 11 pounds
ready to ship.
January 1st, 1922, and will handle same
orders for cash only
LITSCHER TOP SHOP
Phone Bell 38 J
Tillamook, Oregon
■X
CONOVER & CONOVER
TILLAMOOK, OREGON
ECONOMY
CLEANERS
a:
Cleaning, Dyeing. Pressing, Repairing Hats, Cleaned and Blocked
Moder» Nqafpment
htWaettea GaaraateM
2nd Ave. E. Bet. 3rd and 4th Sts.
• Tillamook, Oregon