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TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, AUGUST
What the
Editors Say
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four distinct reservations which he
deems essential before the senate
can afford to ratify the treaty.
Like Root and Taft, he insists on
a revision of Article X so that no
foreign council can declare war for
1 us.
He insists on exempting the Mon
roe Doctrine from the provision of
the covenant.
He insists on our right to with
draw after two years’ notice and
without any strings to the procedure.
He insists that we, as well as every
other country, shall have control
over its own domestic questions, such
as immigration, tariff, etc.
Until these reservations ate adopt
ed no senator with an ounce of pat
riotism left in his blood can afford
to vote to ratify the treaty.—Gazette
Times.
7. 1919.
T
It is an inspiring thing to see the
soldier boys get home from France
one day, and the next to see them
don their overalls and right on the
job at work. They do not seem to
care for a vacation but are eager to
do their part in the activities of
peace.—News Reporter.
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It is estimated that it will cost the
United States a billion dollars to
maintain tbe price of wheat at *2.26
a bushel this year. If a man had
spent *1 every minute of every hour,
day and year since Januaryl, A. D.,
1, until the present, he would have
-pent only a little more than a billion
dollars.—Telephone Register.
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A story conies from California to
the effect that one fig tree down
COAXING YOU TO SMILE.
there this year netted the owner
“I want to be procrastinated at de
*300. We have no way of knowing,
but, shucks! how much do you sup nex’ corner,” said Erastus Pinkley to
pose that old fig tree in the Garden the street car conductor.
of Eden netted when leaves alone
"You want to be what?”
’Look in de dictionary. "Procrasti
were all the rage in wearing apparel
for all the fair sex of that neck of nate: put off.”
.
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the wood«?—Itemizer.
During a violent thunder storm the
Oleomargarine. What is it? Some teacher began to tell the wonders
manufacturers say “it is butter,” of the elements.
"Jimmy,” she asked, “why is it
some say “it is just as good as but
ter,” others say that "it is made un that lightning never strikes twice
der more cleanly conditions than in the same place?”
“Because," said Jimmy, confidently
butter.” while there are still others
who will declare that “it is butter”. “after It hits once, the same place
It is not in Holland, nor in Denmark ain’t there no more.”
nor in New Zealand. The greatest
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The small boy was the first to ans
dairy country in all the world is
wer the telephone. The person on
Oregon.—Oregon Dairy Bulletin.
the other end of the wire was a
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Swift & Company have sold stock friend of his mother, and the follow
in their company at par to more than ing conversation ensued:
"Is this Mrs. Blank's residence?”
15,000 of their employes, The em-
"No Maam; this is Mrs. Blank’s
ployes will now be in a position to
learn whether or not the stock has little boy.”
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been drawing too large dividends
whether or not they are getting too
Customer: "You say this hair re
little for their labor. Nothing has a storer is good, do you?”
better effect in stabilizing industry
Druggist: "Yes sir; I know a man
than to have all employes partners in who took the cork out of the bottle
the business.—The Sentinel.
of this stuff with his teeth, and he
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had a mustache next day."
Robins are protected by Oregon
laws, and yet robbins destroy thou
I should like a porterhouse steak,
sands of dollars worth of fruit every with mushrooms, said the stranger,
year. It is impossible to make the “some delicately browned toast with
growers believe that these birds car plenty of butter—”
ry off enough bugs and worms to
“ ’Scuse me suh,” interrupted the
warrant their being protected. May waiter. "Is you tryin’ to give an or
be the state officials responsible for der or is you jes’ reminiscin’ 'bout
the enforcement of the bird law can old times?”
throw some light on the matter.
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There is no real intention down this
The young man sidled into the jew
way of doing the robins an injustice. eler’s shop with a furtive air. He
—Observer.
handed the jeweler a ring with the
stammered statement that he wished
The report comes from Paris that it marked 'with some names.”
the Huns will have to surrender to
“What names do you wish?” in
France 500 stallions, 3000 fillies, quired the jeweler.
90,000 milch cows, 1,000,000 sheep
“From Henry to Clara,” the young
and 10,000 goats, according to the man blushingly answered.
report made by the French peace
The jeweler looked from the ring
commission. To Belgium the Huns to the young man and said in a
must surrender 200 stallions, 50000 fatherly manner, “Take my advice, '
mares, 50000 fillies, 60,000
50,000 cows young man, and have it engraved
and 40,000 heifers, The Huns must simply ’From Henry’.”
pay for stealing cattle, for the <le-
— -o- ■■
struction of private and public prop
The
Profiteers.
erty, and inhuman treatment of civil-
“These profiteers,” said Represen
ians and soldier prisoners.—Banks
tative Esch, of Wisconsin, “accuse
Herald.
themselves with their excuses. They
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The Duchess of Somerset denounces remind me of little Willie. Little
the “outrageous dresses now being Willie came home the other day with
a nice new golf ball. ‘Look at the
worn in the British metropolis.” The
Marchioness of Townshend describes lost ball I found this afternoon,
father,’ he said. ‘Are you sure my
the prevailing fashion as "almost im-
boy,’ the father asked, ‘that It is the
m Q.1 J
=.
, moral in its inadequacy.” and says
lost ball?’ 'Oh, yes, sr’ said little
' Paris reports skirts slit to the hips.
Willie, I saw the owner and his cad
Lady Hastings criticizes the new
die looking for it.’ ’’
styles as "day undress and evening
no dress.” An American soldier re
Acted on His Tip.
turned from Paris says our fashions
in this country are originated by the
A false chaige had been brought at
prostitutes of Paris. "Let the people his court, and the magistrate re
think.”—Telephone Register.
marked: "We are all liable to make
mistakes. I thought I was wearing
Prices of farm tractors have gone my watch, but I have just discovered
iup in North Dakota, due to two freak tnat I have left it at home.' ’
When he arrived home that even
'laws passed by the last session of the
Non-Partisan
League legislature. ing his wife said to him:
“I hope you Rot your watch all
One law requires free time by the
purchaser and
leave
it on his right. 1 gave it to a man from the
own place without paying for it if it court who called for it.”
doesn’t suit Him. Another requires
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branch warehouse paying for it if it
Cumulatve Desires.
tractor sold, with a full supply of
"Glipping is thinking of buying a
parts. As both oi these requirements
add heavily to the cost of doing busi new motor car. He can’t be happy,
ness, the tractor buyers have to pay it seems, with less than three ma-
18 cents a package
the bill by paying increased prices.— chimes.
"Well, he has the money to indulge
Oregon Voter.
in that kind of extravagance.”
la ara aoid everywhere in
ocianttfically aealad packaiea of 20
“To be sure, .1 was just thinking
The investigation now going on
ci gar ette a; or tan packages (200
cigarettes) in a glaaatne • papar -
Washington to uncover the facts about the days when Glipping was
covarad carton. Vve aironi ¡y reo
the brutality practiced by officers poor. He used to say the height of
ommend thia carton for tha home
his
ambition
was
to
be
able
to
own
military prisons in France and to
•r office supply or when you travel.
place the blame where lt belongs, two pairs of suspenders at the same
time.
”
divulges a condition of inhumanity
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which was little dreamed of by those
who remained at home, An inkling
Back at Him.
The brilliant wit of the bar looked
of these conditions was obtained
from several Sheridan boys returned at the moon-faced farm laborer, and
from the war scenes, who were winked at his friends and whispered,
guards at prison camps, but they 'Now we’ll have some fun.” "Have
talk of these conditions unwillingly you been married?" he began. "Ye-e
because of the horrors it brings up. es,” stammered the laborer, "once.”
Their evidence, however, would add "Whom did you marry?” “A w-w-
materially to that now being gather woman, sir." "Come, my good man,
ed by the committee of investigation of course it was a woman. Did you
and might assist in the punishment ever hear of anyone marrying
of the higher officials guilty of the | man?” "Ye-es, str; my sister did.”
brutal acts.—Sheridan Sun.
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— O-2-
The
Poor Fish!
A 16 year old girl returning home
"I hear you are going to marry
after a visit to a girl friend was mal-
society
I treated and murdered near Bandon treble Blueblood?” said one
I Sunday and her body ltfe to be woman to another. “Is it true?”
"Marry him?” exclaimed the other.
'found later by distracted parents.
foolee me
Footprints of a man were found “Not likely. What on earth could I you doing here?
among other evidences of a struggle, do with him,’ He’s rejected from the yesterday; I foolee you today,” was
yet If the man who made the foot army, he can’t ride, he can’t play the reply.
prints can be found and the dastard tennis, golf, nor, for that matter,
ly crime brought home to him the can he even drive a motor car!”
Wished ?o Forget.
"Oh!" said the friend, “but he can
only punishment that can be meted
I "Stop that!” cried the Growcher to
out will be imprisonment until the liwim beautifully, you know.”
his small nephew, who was reciting
“Swim, indeed! Now, I ask you
crime is forgotten. Other states are
about the cow jumping over the
would
you
like
a
husband
you
had
to
returning to capital punishment
1
moon "There’s no use constantly re
•
after discovering to their r cost that keep in an aquarium?"
minding us how high beef and dairy
the hangman is the only treatment
products have gone.”
for crimes of this kind, When will
Turn About. Etc.
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the maudlin sentimentalists who
A Canadian woman wanted to show
One Distinction.
made the law possible in Oregon her Chinese servant the correct way
come to their senses and unite with to annouce visitors, and one after- . A Philadelphia woman did not ap-
the sensible people who believe the noon went outside her front door, prove of the dress of her cook. One
extreme penalty should be available rang the bell, and made the man-day, as the cook, in a particularly
stylish frock, showed up after a day
when needed?—Independent.
usher her into the drawing room,
bell off. the mistress sal8: "Why Mary,
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The following afternoon the 1™.
what elegance! It would be hard to
And now comes Mr. Hughes and rang, and not hearing him answer It,
he went to the door herself. To her di»tingui«h the lady from the iWT
American«
who
lines up with those
■.landing outside.¡"Don’t worry, mum. said Mary The
,
,
are trying to have the leage cove- surprise he was «.-------- „
• . ___ I •• > « fl , O.ilA
*<>11 ”
nant made safe for Amerlca. He ha« "Why Sing", she asked, "what are cooking would tell.
Tenderfoot Tire Buyers
HEN you find a man who is still
shopping around for tires you may
be certain is he
still a tenderfoot on the
tire question
No matter how long he
has owned a car he hasn’t yet learned
to profit by the experience of men who
really know.
W
Let him ask fur and abide by the experi
ence of the men whose cars have
Firestone Gray Sidewalls on every wheel,
including the “spare.”
He will never
change again
| and all
kinds of trade
All Work
u GUARANTEED.
L
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United States Tires,
i
Also Used Tires and Tubes
R
We take your Tires in Exchange.
I
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W est C oast R ubber C o G
«
First Street, next to McNair’s Hardware Store.
TILLAMÓOK, OREGON
Have you seen the Model 90
Overland Car ?
Like tbe one that broke the world’s record
at Oklahoma, going 7 days without a stop
CHAS. F. PANKOW,
Tillamook
TIRES
Most Miles per Dollar
They Win You On Quality!
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Winston-Salem, N. C.
ALiEX. MeNflIR & GO
GEjMERRLt HfiRDCUBRE
Kitehen Ranges and
Heating Stoves.
THE BEST STOCK OF HARDWARE IN
THE COUNTY.
See Us for Prices Before Ordering Elsewhere