TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT NOVEMBER 7, 1918,
NO LOBSTER AT THAT MEAL
Good and Distinct Reason Why Man
Took His Dinner From the Hum
ble Sardine Tin.
A friend of mine is very fond of lob
ster, but, like many men, has no Idea
how such food is prepared. His wife
hud occasion to be absent from home
one day last week, and she told the
servant girl to broil a lobster for tny
friend’s dinner. She left a note, telling
her bushand of the treat she had pro
vided for him, and requesting him not
to wait dinner for her. He was quite
hungry when he reached home and, af
ter regarding the note, said to the ser
vant :
“Is that lobster ready?”
“No, sir, it isn’t,” said the girl.
“Well, hurry up with It. I’m as hun
gry as a bear," said he.
“I can’t, sir,” said the girl. “The
mistress said to broil the lobster, and
I got him on the gridiron after a dale
of fuss. The more I poked the fire the
more he wulked off, and I thought the
baste was haunted and no good would
come from cooking a straddle bug like
that.”
“What did you do with It?” said my
friend, getting mad.
“Faith, the last I saw of him he was
going out the back door with his tall
up, like the maniac he was.”
He had sardines for dinner.—London
Mall.
ALIBI PROVED FOR PRETZEL
Going Far Back Into Ancient History,
It Can Be Proved That It Was
Not of German Origin.
When the Engine Stalls on
Dead Man’s Curve!
“Wh-r-r-oom!” That one was close
HEY climb aboard their loaded
behind.
The fragments of the shell are
truck at sundown, fifteen miles
rattling on the truck.
behind the lines. They rumble
through the winding streets, out on the Now shells are falling, further back
white road that leads to Germany!
along the road. And the driver feels
the summit as his wheels begin to pick
The man at the wheel used to be a
up speed.
broker in Philadelphia. Beside him sits
an accountant from Chicago. A news
Straight down a village street in
paper man from the Pacific Coast is
which the buildings are only skeletons
the third. Now they all wear the uni
of buildings. He wheels into the court
form of one of these organizations.
yard of a great shell-torn chateau.
T
The road sweeps round a village and
£1 a tree is nailed a sign: “Attention!
’Ennemi Vous Voitl
The Enemy
Sees You!”
“Well, you made it again I seel” says
a smiling face under a tin hat—a face
that used to look out over a congrega
tion in Rochester.
They glance far up ahead and there,
suspended in the evening light, they see
a Hun balloon.
“Yep!” says the driver glancing at
his watch. “And we came up Dead
Man’s Curve in less than three minutes
—including one stall I ”
“Say, we can see him plain tonight!”
murmurs the accountant from Chicago.
“And don’t forget,” replies the Phila
delphia broker, “that he can see us just
as plain.”
The packing cases creak and groan,
the truck plods on—straight toward that
hanging menace.
“What’s those? Canned peaches?
Gimme some. Package of American
cigarettes— let’s see—an’ a cake of
chocolate—an’ some of them cookies!”
They reach a turn. They take it
They face a heavy incline. For half
a mile it stretches and they know the
Germans have the range of every inch
of it The mountain over there is where
the big Boches’ guns are fired. This
incline is their target
“Goehl” says the other youngster
when his wants are filled. “What would
we do without you?”
“ Wh-r-r-r-r-r-r-rooml ”
The shell breaks fifty yards behind.
Another digs a bole beside the road
just on ahead.
And then the engine comes to life.
It crunches, groans and answers.
Slowly, with maddening lack of haste,
it rumbles on.
House Oldest In America.
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t
“Get any supplies tonight?” they ask.
Then up they go, through the strange
«Hence broken only when a great pro
jectile inscribes its arc of sound far
overhead.
“Quick! Spin it!” calls the driver.
The California journalist has jumped.
He tugs at the big crank.
I
f
Later that night two American boys,
fresh from the trenches bordering that
shattered town, stumble up the stairs
uf the chateau, into a sandbagged room
where the Rochester minister has his
canteen.
“You bet I did! ” is the answer, “What
will you have?”
At first the camion holds its speed.
Then it slackens off. The driver grabs
his gear-shift kicks out his clutch. The
engine heaves—and heaves—and stalls!
I
♦ * * ♦
They reach another village—where
heaps of stone stand under crumpled
walls.
The three men on the truck bring up
their gas masks to the alert, settle their
steel helmets closer on their heads.
I
* * * *
You hear that up and down the front,
a dozen times a night—“What would
we do without them?”
Men and women in these organiza
tions are risking their lives tonight to
carry up supplies to the soldiers. Trucks
and camionettes are creeping up as close
as any transportation is permitted.
From there these people are carrying
up to the gun-nests, through woods,
across open fields, into the trenches.
The boys are being served wherever
they go. Things to eat, things to read,
things to smoke, are being carried up
everywhere along the line.
With new troops pouring into France,
new supplies must be sent, more men
and women by the hundreds must be
enlisted. They are ready to give every
thing. Will you give your dollars to
help them help our men?
*
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Tradition, Indorsed by the press
and the testimony of the oldest in
habitants, gives authority to the state
ment that the oldest house. No. 54
North St. George street, St Augustine,
Fla., is really the oldest house tn
America. Built by the Dons In medie
val times (1589) on the oldest street
of what was the site of the Indian vil
lage of Seloe, whose chief was Folo-
mato, this ancient house has never
been remodeled or modernized.
The architecture is of Moorish de
sign, antedating the Spanish. With Its
coquina-terrace floors, round carved
pillars in the patio, mahogany stair
way, hewn red cedar timbers, all
pegged together, secret closets and
' other substantiating hnllmarks, it I»
unlike any other house In St. Augus
I
I tine, and is truly one of the sights of
the ancient city.
Pitt a Spendthrift
The complaint that many of our
| statesmen will not themselves set the
fnshion in economical living in war
, time is not a new one.
Pitt, who
preached economy and forced it on the
people, was himself a notorious spend
thrift.
For a long time (while warden of
the Cinque ports) his Income was £10,-
000 a year, and it never fell below £6,-
000. Yet he was always hard up, and
when he died the nation, in the throes
of a great war, hnd to find some £40,-
000 to satisfy his creditors.
Examinations of Pitt’s household
budgets—mnde from time to time at
his own request—showed such Items
as a hundredweight of butcher’s meat
consumed In a single week—or, more
accurately, charged to Pitt’s account
—London Chronicle.
HAS
HISTORIC PAST ORIGIN
I
OF
COUNTRY
FAIR
Ilfracombe, Popular English Summer Its Establishment Can Be Clearly
Resort, Has Been Well Known
Traced to an Ancient Rellgloua
Through Many Centuries.
Custom.
Ilfracombe Is rapidly becoming popu
The country fair owes its origin to
lar as a summer resort—or, as the Eng an ancient religious custom. In early
lish call it. a watering place. It is set | days, when Engilsmen observed saints’
on a steep hillside, surrounded by “the days, a crowd of worshipers and pil
seven hills,” on the heuutiful Devon grims would assemble within the pre
shire const. From the near town of cincts of the church or abbey during
Hillsborough Ilfracombe shows a mass the festival of a popular saint. To
of white cottages, clinging desperately supply the wants of the throng, tents
to the hillside to keep from tumbling were pitched, and stalls for provisions
into the Atlantic ocean.
Bet up in the churchyard. Peddlers
Many people think that Ilfracombe and traders found many customers
Is a modern town, in spite of its quaint among the worshipers, nnd In course
ness, because It has such an up-to-date of time these pious assemblies became
air. But Ilfracombe is a skillfully cam marts at trade, and were known as
ouflaged antique, having been a harbor “fairs.”
of some note ’way back in the twelfth
Many odd customs associated with
century. This attractive townlet has fairs illustrate the social life of other
been inflicted with a great variety of days. The opening of fairs In many
Jaw-breaking names during the cen towns was announced by hoisting a
turies of Its existence. Its names large glove In a conspicuous place. In
range all the way from Aelfrlngcombe the event of a law forbidding the hold
and Ilfordscomhe to Alfredscombe, ing of a fair without royal permission,
and, at Inst, Ilfracombe. But-the good the king would send his glove to the
folk round about Ilfracombe just call i town as a token of his consent.
it ’Combe.
In Liverpool, a hand was exhibited
In 1344 Ilfracombe was one of the In front of the town hall ten days be
45 English ports that sent representa fore and after each fair day, to signify
tives to the council of shipping, and In that no person coming to or going
1646 it was captured by Fairfax. They from the fair might be arrested for
say there were some hot skirmishes at debt within the town’s precincts.
that time In what is now known as
At Paignton fair, Exeter, an Im
“Bloody Meadow.” Some cannon balls mense plum pudding was drawn
of that period found here corroborate through the town by four yoke of oxen
this tale.
nnd afterward distributed for the
Tn these olden days wrecks near Il crowd.
Its ingredients were: 400
fracombe were frequent, and pearls pounds of flour, 170 pounds of beef
nnd other valuable treasures of the In suet, 140 pounds of raisins and 240
dies were often sold to advantage by eggs. It was boiled in a brewer’s cop
the fisher folk to merchants In neigh per for three days and nights.
boring towns-
SEA BUFFALO “GOOD EATING”
Other Thing« Beside the Beefsteak,
to Which the Nation la Attached,
May Be Made of Use.
Sirloin of sea buffalo Is much es
teemed in San Francisco and other
Pacific coast cities, where meat of this
highly valued animal is coming to mar
ket in such quantities as to lower the
coat of living by keeping down the
price of beef and mutton.
Sea cows and sea horses have long
been familiarly known, but most folks
would confess themselves unacquaint
ed with the sea buffalo. If they saw
one, they would call It a whale; and
no wonder, for that Is the sea buf
falo’s other name.
Some people might be prejudiced
against eating whale meat, but sea
buffalo steak sounds good. It Is good
—quite equal. In fact, to the best beef
steak, and hardly distinguishable from
the latter. In the market, sea buffalo
tenderloin (boneless “filet”) costs only
15 cents a pound; other cuts are
cheaper.
The gray whale (common in Pacific
waters) furnishes most of the meat.
A 60-foot specimen will yield as much
butcher’s material as 70 head of cattle.
First Quakers.
The first Quakers to land on Ameri
can soil were Mary Fisher and Ann
Austin, who reached Boston in 1656
sfter a long voyage from England by
way of the West Indian Island of Bar
bados. The two women caused great
consternation to the Puritans, snd
George Bishop, in an address to the
magistrates, said:
“Two women arriving in yonr har
bor so shock ye, to the everlasting
shame of you and of your established
order, as if a formidable army had in
vaded your borders.”
The Quaker sect, or Society of
Friends, was founded by Fox in 1648,
about eight years before the first mem
bers reached America on July 11, 1656.
letter George Fox visited America.
The part played by William Penn and
other Quakers in the early history of
Pennsylvania and New Jersey Is fa
miliar to all studente of history.
Can Shyness Be Cured?
What is the remedy for shyness?
What is the shy man to do in order
<
that he may be shy no longer?
•.
The remedy Is simple, and Is to be
found by consideration of the cause.
L.
>
The shy person Is shy in the presence
'1
of strangers only. Let him have no
opportunity of meeting strangers, and
I
let the opportunity be abolished not
I I
by abolition of the meetings, but by
i
abolition of the strangeness. In other
words, shy persons are those who in
I
early life hnd not practice and no ex
perience In meeting strangers, and so
having the attention of strangers di
Wouldn't Mix In That
rected to them and attracted to them.
“Howdy, ’Squire 1” saluted a young If the meeting with strangers becomes
er neighbor. “Me and wife have got customary it losee Its strangeness.
Into a sort of a jangle over naming
our baby. It’s our first, and I s’pose
As a Gentleman!
we’re tnore particular about It than
Little brother accompanied his
folks who hsve a bunch of ’em. Wife, mamma on a visit to some friends in
she is set and determined to name him Chicago, and Included in the entertain
after her side of the house, and I’m ment of the visitor was a luncheon at
sticking and hanging for him to be one of the fashionable cafes. Little
named after one of my kin. Now, If brother was taken along because there
you’H come over and settle it for us was no place to “check” him.
we’ll—“
“Now, brother,” said mamma, “you
“Now, looky here, Lucas!” Inter see thia beautiful place and all these
rupted old man Backledaffer. “While lovely ladles—you are the only man
I hate peace as much as anybody, and present, and I want you to be very
more than a good many, I haln’t so polite and act Just like your father
absolutely senseless and foolhardy as would If he was here.”
all that!”—Kansas City Sun.
“Well,” said brother, “I guess I’ll
take a cigarette.”
\
Knowledge Gained by Experience.
A young ensign, acting as school
Enterprise.
teacher on the battleship Texas, says
“How far can you travel on a gal
Philadelphia Public Ledger, asked lon of gssollne?”
the question: "What are the two prin
“Not as fur as I used to,” replied
cipal parts of a sentence?” He ex Mr. Chuggins. “But I’m hoping to re
pected, of course, to get the answer. duce the expense by developing a by
“Subject and predicate.”
product. The gasoline Is so oily and
Tho old "salt” who was called o
the roads sre so rough that with a lit
scratched his head in perplexity and tle care we ought to make every trip
at last replied: "Solitary contlnemen’ yield a good churning of axle grease. ”
and br<
nd water."
UNITED WAR WORK CAMPAIGN
I"I*SX<«
Now comes the lowly pretzel before
the bar of public opinion in a valorous
attempt to remove the stigma of Ger-
man origin. It has delved deep into
ancient history to prove its alibi and
upon the face of the evidence pre-
sented It has made out a reasonable
case for Itself. Indignantly does the
pretzel deny that it sprang from un
hallowed association with German
beer; that use it declares Is a dese
cration of Its originally high birth, a
degradation characteristically Teu-
tonic.
The pretzel insists that it Is
Inherently a baked prayer, for In the
early day of the Christian church the
pretzel was nsed almost exclusively
as a reward of merit given by a priest
to children for learning their prayers.
In the monasteries of the middle ages
the pretzel was considered a rare del
icacy, and during lent it was the usual
alms offering. Furthermore the very
crookedness of the pretzel Is a crush
ing argument against its calumniators,
tor it represents the arms folded In
prayer. Thus stands the ease for tbs
sanctity of the humble pretzel.
TOWN
SUPREME IN INSECT MIMICRY
Really Wonderful Act of Caterpillar
Shows Nature'« Protection
Thrown Around Innocents.
I witnessed a quaint little scene
on a blackthorn buBb In Epping forest
a day or two ago, writes “L. F.” In
Manchester (Eng.) Guardian.
It Is
well known that many species of cat
erpillars so closely resemble the
brown, barked stems, while others, be
ing green, fix themselves to the new
green stems of the current year's
growth.
Among the blackthorn twigs I ob
served one young member of the dark
er species sticking out, rigid and mo
tionless, at the orthodox angle of 45
degrees, from apparently a young
green shoot. On closer examination I
discovered that the young green shoot
was itself a caterpillar sticking out at
an angle of 45 degrees.
What had happened was obvious.
The disguise of the green caterpillar
was bo perfect that even another cater
pillar—ltBelf a master in the art of
twig Imitation—had palpably been
Completely deceived and mistaken the
green caterpillar for a twig. Surely
this is a triumph of insect mimicry.
Ideal Friendship.
'}
Insincerity may fascinate—but it M
not lovable. Only honesty and direct
ness fit dealing can win a lasting at
tachment. Artificial folk are desper
ately afraid of the picturesquely un
conventional actions that they think
will make them ridiculous. They are
so stiff and starched in their unman-
nerllness that they ere hopelessly un
interesting.
Sticklers for etiquette
and for the observances of all the mi
nor canons of good form, they find so
many petty, silly rules to follow that
they have no time to give rein to large
and generous Impulses. A personality
that makes Itself count ardently and
lastingly In other lives and for the
world’s well being Is too high for spite,
too noble for mean, small ways, too
genuine for Intrigue and Innuendo and
too faithful to sacrifice a friend.
History of a 8tar.
The hlatory of a star begins with
dust and ends with dust. It takes Its
form out of chaotic nebulae, passes
through a period of life, grows cool,
then dark and dead, and ultimately
dashes into another dark cloud of
star dust, and is thus turned back into
nebula.
We on earth live our lives In auch a
short moment that evolution among
the stars In not at once apparent. It
would require a great many centuries
to actually see a blue sun become
white, then yellow, then finally red.
While it is not possible to watch any
one star living its life, yet by noting
the characteristics of a great many,
a complete and logical chain of evi
dence may be fonnd, which includes
representative stars of every type In
the sky.
Society of the Cincinnati.
The historic Society of the Cincin
nati, oldest of the American patriotic
organizations, was founded by officers
of the Continental forces and of the
French army and fleet which aided
us in gaining our Independence at the
close of the Revolutionary war, 135
years ago, Washington was Its first
president general, Hamilton the sec
ond, and on Its original rolls appear
the names of many others who gained
fame for their services In the cause
of liberty. Its membership, composed
of the eldest male descendants of these
otilcers, now numbers about 1,000.
That Evened Things Up.
One day niy two little nieces were
discussing which had been with her
mother the longer.
"I’ve been with mother longer than
you have,” said the elder.
After thinking a few moments her
yonnger sister answered, “Yes, but I’ve
been with God longer.” — Chicago
Tribune.