TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT JANUARY 19, 1911 VERBAL PITFALLS. Traps That Await English Speak ing Tourists In Portugal. THERE ARE NO TOES THERE I But, Then, One Has Twenty Fingers to Make Up the Loss, Fingers of the Hand and Fingers of the Foot—Oddi ties of the Verb “to Walk.” The Euglisbmau or American in | Portugal who thinks in his own lan- | guage uu<l tries to speak in the 1:111- |gunge of the country he is visiting is I a great smile producer. For instance, you never marry any- Ibody in Portugal unless—strange para Idox you happen to be a priest. You I marry "with” your beloved Maria, and I the priest marries you both. In the Isume way you never dream about any- Ibody. but always “with’’ them. [ When the landlady at your boarding [house is ladling out your soup you [call out, “Arrive.” You are telling [her to arrive at the stopping point—in [other words, that you don’t want more [than she has put out. When you see In child that you want to fondle at the [other side of the room you say to her, [“Arrive here.” And the child prompt ly “arrives.” In Englund when we speak of walk- ling we refer to a certain use of the [legs. But the Portuguese verb “to walk” has many more significations. In Portugal not only do the -people walk, but also the carts and cars walk, the trains walk, a balloon walks, and | a boat walks. Stranger still, the hands of a clock walk round the face! A clock, by the way, never goes; it "works.” Unless you are very intimate or very rude you never say to your fair part ner at dinner, “Will you have some bread?” etc. You inquire, “Will your excellency have some bread?” or, “Will the lady have some bread ?” the "lady” meaning not some other lady, but your fair partner herself. , In spite of winter you are never cold in Portugal unless you are a corpse. You are "with” cold. In the same way you are occasionally “with” heat, “with” headache, “with" hunger or “with” tldrst. When you have occa sion to discuss the weather you say, “It ‘makes’ cold,” “It ‘makes' fog,” etc. On your way home from an en tertainment you tell your companion that it “makes” dark. If s|>eaking of her husband a wife says he Is a “tame” man. She merely means that he is a man of peace and Justice. The word “house” means more than with us. Your buttons share your own privilege of living in a house. The buttouholes are called “houses of the buttons.” The squares on a chess board are also "houses.” You don’t say, "I’m going to shave.” You say. “I’m going to ‘do’ life lieard.” Neither do you say on the way to the bar ber's, “I’m going to get my hair cut,” but you say, “I’m going to cut my hair.” When you are in Portugal you have twenty fingers, but no toes. If you want to make a distinction you say “fingers of the hand” or ■■fingers of the foot.” Instead of telling the servant to set the table you tell her to "put” it. When you go to the theater you “assist.” You don’t mean by that that you “come on” nor even that you do a little scene shifting. You mean that you are there. Residents in flats who meditate tak ing a holiday in Portugal will la* re lieved to hear that no one plays the piano there. They merely “touch” It. Neither do they ring bells. They “touch” them also. But they “play” stones, meaning that they throw them, and a ship at sea “plays” when it pitches and tosses. Be careful how you tell your land lady that you Intend to dine oflt or she may think, with a shrug of the shoulders, that you Intend dining “outside”—I. e.. In the garden. In an swer to the kind Inquiries of your friends don’t say that you are well; say that you are “good.” Be careful In your use of words. Some words similar in form are widely different in meaning, as an American missionary once discovered to his cost when preaching in Brazil, once a Portuguese colony. His subject was “The Prodi gal Son." and he gravely informed his hearers that when the young man re turned borne his father killed for him the fatted beetle! But he had merely made a mistake in one solitary vowel. A “sleeping” bridge means a bridge that is immovable (not a drawbridge» Stagnant water also “sleeps." So do trucks or trains that waft anywhere during the night When they laugh in Portugal they “untie themselves to laugh.” and when they cry they “un make themselves in tears.” A persist ently unfortunate man says, “I am so unlucky that If I fell on my back I should break my nose!”- I-ondon An swers. Hopeful Names. Two bright looking colored boys about seven yean of age laughingly a<i-o«ted a lawyer on the street. The man stop|e>d and asked the boys their names. “Johnslng," was the reply. “We’se twins.” “Well, what are your first names?” insisted the amused questioner. “Mab name.” answered one. “is Soda, and his name.” [«>intlng to the other, ■hl Saleratua Maw done lose all de others, and she give us names she find anccesaful la raisin' ”—Newark Star. tlreetucan Is Its own tTment.—Äas- dur» I'arkar. BREAKING A CUSTOM. HER HOMEMADE HAT. How the Salt 8hak»r Was Introduced to the Spaniard. Until a few years ago no Spaniard had on his dining table any other re ceptacle for salt than the old style open cellar. An enterprising Briton saw this, noted that the salt was al ways dirty and gummy and deter mined to introduce u certain famous salt shaker from which clean salt would run freely in the dampest weather. Bravely he started to tour Spain for the company. “No, senor; no est costumbre usar mas quo esto" ("No, sir; it's not cus tomary to use more thau that”—the old cellar), was the answer of every dealer to whom he presented the nov elty. Again and again he was re buffed. He begau to despair when, standing one day gazing into a Jew eler’s window, a brilliant idea struck him. lie entered. Realizing the child like curiosity and impressionable char acter of his quarry, he persuaded the Jeweler to display a shaker in his window and coached him about sell ing it. A Spaniard came along, look ed in the window, saw the curious ob ject, investigated. “It 1» very pretty for the toilet ta ble," he remarked after prolonged scrutiny, “perhaps useful for the chil dren. What goes in it—perfume?” Indifferently the Jeweler glanced up from some scribbling. “No, sir; only salt.” “Man, salt!” “Yes. Possibly I could get you a lit tle—the kind that doesn’t get sticky— to try. But I don’t know.” The simple gentleman was amazed, angry, affronted, by the novelty, but he took it and an ounce or two of the special salt home with him. The jew eler ordered another shaker and more samples of salt. By and by the gen tleman had used all his salt and wnnt- ed more of the same kind. The busi ness of that company today is worth many figures in Spain every year, and. more than that, as it is “costumbre” now to use that particular sort of shaker and brand of salt there is vir tually no competition.—Arthur Stanley Riggs in Century. Brought a Proposal That She Promptly Turned Down 1 The bohemians were makiug merry in the dim lit studio discussing the lat est novel that one of their number was trying to write, the brutal editor who had refused the best urticlc ever writ ten—a masterpiece of the host—be moaning the nouintelligence of the art critics, execrating the mercenary the atrical manager and utterly repndlat l.ig the genernl public—the vast horde of the Philistines. By way of diversion the painter of pastel portraits said to the bachelor maid: “That's a charming hat you have on Who else would know enough to com bine turquoise and old rose? You have a genius for color. What a pity you only write!” "Glad you like my bat. anyway. 1 made It myself. I trust It will only enhance Its merit bi your eyes to know that it cost me but SO cents." “Impossible!" screamed all the bohe- minus with one breath, ceasing their arguments in order to take notice of the vastly becoming creation which cap|>ed the bachelor maid's brown hair “Fifty cents, did you sav?" asked the man who once wrote u poem—aye. and bad It published. Then rising, placing his baud above Ills heart, bowing low ami solemnly, he said: “Fair one. will you be my wife? All my life 1 have been looking for a woman who could trim her own hats for nothing. Pray be mine.” “Nixie!" scoffed the bachelor maid cruelly. “Ail my life I have been look ing for a man who would be willing mid able to pay $50 for my hats.”— New York Press. INSULTED THE KING. Ths Joke a Printer Turned on Louie Philippe and M. Thiers. One morning during the reign of Louis Philippe there appeared in the Constitutionnel the following startling paragraph: "His majesty the king received M. Thiers yesterday at the Tuileries and charged him with the formation of a new cabinet. The distinguished states man hastened to reply to the king: " ‘I have only one regret, which is that I cannot wring your neck like a turkey’s.’ ” A few lines lower down there was another paragraph running to the fol lowing effect: “The efforts of justice have been promptly crowned with success. The murderer of the Rue du I’ot-de-Fer has beeu arrested In a bouse of bad reputa tion. Led at once beforl the judge of instruction, the wretch had the hardi hood to address the magistrate in terms of coarse insult, winding up with the following words, which amply show that there remains not a spark of con science or right feeling in this hard ened soul: ” ‘God and man are my witnesses that I have never had any other am bition than to serve your august |>er- son and my country loyally to the best of my ability.’ ” The printer had Just cleverly managed to interchange the two addresses. The cream of the Joke was that It was uni versally known how very little love there was lout between the king and the minister.—Strauss’ Reminiscences. Last of ths Old Orators. The late Senator John Warwick Daniel of Virginia may be said to have been the last of the old fash ioned orators In the house of the con script fathers. His fame will rest not on his lawbooks, which were excel lent; not on hla speeches in bouse and senate, which were strong, but on two masterly orations on Lee and Stone wall Jackson delivered before hla en trance Into congress. It may well be doubted whether anything superior to them, considered simply as orations, can l>e found in the literature of the world. They would have delighted Cicero biuiself.—Champ Clark in Cen tury. Flogged For Bathing. On an Island in the Cam, at Grant- chester, is a mill pond known as “By ron's pool" becaiiue It was here that the poet as an undergraduate enjoyed his favorite recreation. Even in bia day Edward Conybeare tells us In “Highways and Byways In Cam bridge” bathing waa a practice some what frowned on by the academic au thorities. A century or aa earlier any student found guilty of It was publicly flogged In the ball of bls college and was again flogged on the morrow In the university schools by the proctors. A second offense meant expulsion from the university. Novelty Far New Yorkers. “That sunrise effect Is all wrong”’ said the stage manager of a New York musical show. “What's the difference?” replied the scene painter. “Nobody who goes to a musical comedy In New York knows what a sunrise looks like.*-Washing I ton Star Holding a Wake—Ditte a Giri. Mi*s Txireleigh The pmfeeoor was 1 telling ns today about the moon. He . aaya the moon is a dead body. Jack Spooner - That so? Then suppone we sit up awhile with the torpee. Roaton Traum rtpL A CUP OF TEA. FEATS OF MARKSMANSHIP. • T. BCHT8, A ttorn ev - at -L aw . It Plays a Curious Part In Chinese Wcnderful Shooting of Captain Bo- gardua and Dr. Carvar. Complete set of Abstract Books Business Etiquette. Old gentlemen of the i>eriod just aft When a salesman or person seeking in office. Taxes paid for non« a business interview presents bis card er the war will tell you sadly that at the entrance to a Chinese mer there are uo such shots us there used Residents. chant's place of business the possi to be. lu this connection it is inter esting to note that $1.000 was wagered bility of an audience depends alto- I Office opposite Post Office. gether iq>ou how he dejiorts himself against $100 that the champion of the world could not hit a hundred cousec- Both phones. while awaiting the return of the card bearer. Should he be so iudlscreet as i utlve birds. Many amateurs, not to to put one foot over the twelve inch speak of professionals, frequently railing that' intervenes between the make sm b a score without arousing O a RL haberlach , step aud the doorway no mauner of comment in these days. Captain Bo- persuasion can prevail upon the mer gardus was to be allowed three trials. If he lost the first two and made the attorney - at - law . chant to grant him an Interview. In case he waits patiently in the third the money was ids. and, by the space allotted to unknown callers this way, lie used a twelve gauge, full fact is noted, and be is usually ush choke, ten pound gun, and his load Office across the sticet and north from was five drams of black powder with ered in. the Poet Office. Once In, there Is still a more delicate No. 9 shot. He loaded bls own shells matter to be disposed of. and In case or hud them loaded according to his the newcomer is ignorant of the cus directions. While shooting In England Ids load (7J.EORGE WILLETT, tom he fares 111 with Ills errand. Im mediately upon the caller's entering , was challenged by one of his defeated A ttornky - at -L aw . and taking a seat a servant brings a rivals, who asserted that the cham serving of tea, which Includes a small pion’« phenomenal scores were the re suit of hfs superior shells. The cap cup for each person present. The Next to Tillamook County point of etiquette demands that this tain suggested thnt in their next match Bank, both contestants should use his am tea shall not be touched until the guest is ready to depart. In case the Inter munition. to which tile Englishman T illamook - O regon . view has been a pleasant one, hi which eagerly consented. The captain was delighted, for well he knew what would case the caller is supposed to take up H. GOYNE, and drink bls tea at parting, and at happen to the action of the light and this signal all the others do likewise. : delicate English gun under such a However, should It so happen that the charge. Before the match had pro A ttorney - at -L aw . Chinaman Is not pleased with his cull ceeded very far the Britisher with er and is in any way annoyed by him drew—for massage. Office • Opposite Court House, With the Invention and success of the merchant takes up the tea and be the ball tossing machine a craze for gins to drink at once, which act is a T illamook , O regon . direct and decided hint that the in ridiculously high scores swept the terview is ended and has not been to J country. Five thousand balls In 500 the pleasure of the merchant. The minutes, 5,104 out of 5,500, In seven BO ALS, M.D., caller is then expected to take his im hours and twenty minutes—these were some of the stunts that dellght'-d the mediate departure. When a caller has become well ac hearts of the gun people of thnt day. FIGHTING LIFE’S BATTLE. quainted some of the formality is bro One man, the English crack. Dr. Car PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, ken by the Chinese, and on a cold ver, shot for six consecutive days, TILLAMOOK. Of Thing» That Must Eo Done Tackle day a cup of tea is served immediate breaking (10,000 bulls out of a possible the Hardc»t First. 84.881. The wonder is that there re Office- Olson Building. ly to the guest in a social way. But I know a very successful man who the “formal” tea is still to be observ mained of his shoulder anything more Residence : Mr». Wei»«' house, west of early In life resolved that uo matter ed and partaken of at parting. Irre than pulp. True, It Is on record that Mrs. Walker's. after the three-thousandth shot nt such bow hard anything might be or bow spective of the cup given to warm and nn exhibition In Gilmore ’ s Garden, New seemingly impossible for him to do he greet the caller on his arrival. This, would do It If the doing would prove however, is done only after many vis York city, the contestant had to pry M. KERRON, of value to him, says Orison Swett its, when the business dealings have open bls trigger lingers by main force Mnrden In Success Magazine. He been of such a nature as to warrant and only succeeded In continuing In made this the test and would never friendship and hospltaln" —Youth's the mutch by frequent immersions of PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, allow Ills moods or feelings to stand Companion. arm and shoulder In hot water.—Out C oncrete B uilding . ing. In the way of his Judgment. He forced himself In the habit of prompt Tillamcok, Oregon. FRENCH FISH STORY. ly doing everything, no matter how EDITING AN ENCYCLOPEDIA. disagreeable, if it would further his Three Day»’ Carnival of Marpignon’» 8tr»nuou» Timea In Getting Out an advancement. Intrepid Anglers. People who consult their moods, R. I. M. SMITH, Early French Work. Though their lakes and ponds arc their preferences or tlielr euse never Many adventures befell the French make a great success In life. It is the few and their rivers comparatively eighteenth century encyclopedia. More man who gets a firm grip on himself destitute of fish, the French people are than once the production of thnt work, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, and forces himself to do the thing that extremely fond of angling. Indeed, regarded by authority ns revolution Office over J. A. Todd & Co.. will ultimately be best for him who nervous and excitable as the average ary, had been stopped, eight days of Tillamook, Ore. succeeds. The man who goes through Frenchman may be, be Is content to Imprison men t in the Bastille for the life picking out the flowers and avoid sit by a stream with a pole and waft printer being one Incident. At the ing the thorns In Ills occupation, al all day for a bite. very last moment, after Diderot had In a certain country town not far ways doing the easy thing first aud C. HAWK, corrected the final proofs, the printer delaying or putting off altogether If from Paris there existed a fishing club and bls foreman secretly slashed the possible the hard thing, does not de named the Intrepid Fishers of Marpi articles right and left, cutting out velop the strength that would enable gnon. A pretty stream goes through everything thnt seemed even possibly him to do hard things when necessity Marpignon. but for many years not PHYSICIAN A SURGEON, dungerous, and burned the manu one fish had been seen In this stream, forces them upon him. «crlpt. Diderot discovered the atroc It Is pitiable to see young men and from which circumstance. It followed, Uy too lute when referring to one of BAY CITY, OREGON. women remaining far below the place the Intrepid Fishers had little to do. his own mutilated articles. Hut the where their ability ought to have car says Harjier's Weekly. Most remarkable point Is that for ried them just because they dislike to The excitement may be Imagined, years very few persons knew of what R. HEALS, therefore, when the word ran through do disagreeable things until compelled bad happened, even the contributors to. The best way always Is to tackle Marpignon that a large barbel—a remaining In Ignorance. They had tough and gamy fish—had been seen the hardest things first. bad enough of tlielr own articles when REAL ESTATE, lu the stream. The Intrepid Fishers writing them. turned out and, having ascertained Too Public For Him. Voltaire tells n pleasing story of F inancial A gent , He was a mild mannered little man, that there wus Indeed a barbel In the Louis NV.'s conversion to the mer short, with gray hair and spectacles. stream. Immediately stopped the wa it« of the encyclopedia, according to Tillamook, Oregon. It was noon on Washington street ter some little distance above and tie- the London Chronicle. The talk one and, as usual, the crowds were shov low him with gratings so that he night at a Trlanmi supper turned on ing and pushing to get somewhere. could not get away. R. P. J. SHARP, Then they ranged themselves Joy «port und thence to gunpowder, as to The little man was trying to worm his fully along the stream with hook and the com|MH<ltlon of which the pnrty way through the crowds. could not agree. Mine, de Pompadour A well dressed woman, accompanied line, and all weut to fishing for the lamented their all round Ignorance. RESIDENT DENTIST, by. n small boy, was mixed up in the one fish. For Instance, she herself did not know By and by one Intrepid Fisher crowd. She wanted to cross the street caught him nnd Immediately threw what her rouge was made of or how Office across the street iron' the The l>oy «topped to look In a window. her silk hose wore manufactured. The lady reached down and grasped him back Into the water. In the “Tte a pity." "«Id the Due de la Val Court House. course of time anothe* caught him and a luind. saying. “Take my hand, dear.” uer«, "that hla majesty confiscated our Dr. Wise's office. “Not right here on the public street” did the same. encycloiMslia«, which coat us 1<H) pls For three days one veracious ac she was startled to bear some one re toles ” count has It the Intrepid Fishers kept ply. The king recalled that he had a HARCHET, Looking down, she saw that she was at work catching this one barbel, and copy, and three valets were sent for at the end of that time the Ash died clasping the hand of the very Inoffen . The Fashionable Tailor the twenty one volumes and staggered sive little man. who seemed to be of exhaustion and loss of blood. Thou back with «even each. Gunpowder, the Intrepid Fishers counted up the much confuseti and embarrassed. rouge, «Ilk stock I tigs, were all found “Sir,” she said haughtily, “I don’t notches that they had made on their tnere. Rome found answers to legal Cleauiug, Pressing and Repair want you. I want my son.”—Boston fish poles, and the man who had problems that troubled them. The ing a Specialty. caught the barbel the most times was Traveler. king discovered the rights of bls declared the champion fisherman of crown set forth, nnd In hla satisfaction Store in Heins Photographic Marpignon and received great honors Ths New and Old Geology. he allowed the confiscated copies to be In its early history geology present Gallery. returned ed two schools—one Insisting on a doc Fishskin Tartar». trine of "catastrophes,” the other on The skin of the fish does not suggest Bearded Woman. B uiinkm l-hone A. 100» a doctrine of “uniformity.” The for Itself as a suitable material for the The bearded woman Is not a Action. L and office A SFFCfALTY. mer regarded the changes which have making of clothes, yet it is used for A bearded woman was taken by the manifestly taken place in our planet this purpose by a tribe of Tartars In Russians at the battle of Poltava and 0UWINO & COW INC as having occurred at epochs abruptly, Manchuria. They inhabit the banks | presented to the czar Her beard while the other school, reposing on of the Peony river and live by fishing measur'd over a yard. The great Mar- LAWYERS. the great principle of the invariability and hunting. During the past 100 I garet, governess nt the Netherlands, R oom 334 WoicMTIi H i ilmw <- of the laws of nature, Insisted that af years they hnve become nearly extinct ' find a very long, stiff lieard. Mlle. T hird and D am htbkrtr . fairs had always gone on in the same owing to the Invasion of their domain ! Bom de Chette. bom at Geneva In Room Neit to the U.S. Land Ofhre. way as they do now. It is hardly by agricultural Chinese. They are i 1831, was exhibited In Ixtndoii In 1853 PORTLAND, OREGON. no essary to say thai the latter theory known aa Ftehskln Tartars The fish In her eighteenth year. Hhe had n has driven the old theory of catastro they use Is the tamara. a »pw-lco of i profu.M* bead of hair, a large mustache phe completely from the field.—New salmon. Both the flesh and the skin I nnd a strong black beard. There are RS. ALICIA PHELP8, of the fish are »uppoead to po sse as I 'Sher Instances of bearded women York American. wonderful heat giving properties Chi about the authenticity of whom there GRADUATE NURSE, cago Journal. All Fixed. Is no room for doubt. - New York ”1 think I'll propose at the party to ; American. CrusL night.” MRS. PAGE’S HOUSE, Two elderly belles were tathtag at “No. you won't.” Women Without Names. the ball. "Womankind In Koren," says E G “Why won't IT’ - ORE. ' What a flatterer Woofer voa Twfller Kemp in "The Face of Manchuria,” TILLAMOOK, - “My steter knows the young lady In , question, and It bas beetWarranged for e<”' said the first belle. •suffers from a strange lack the ab “Why. did be tell you ye« looked sence of names A woman may poa- you to propose at the ball next week." bice?’ said the second »Kansas City Journal. j sess « pet name, oj her wise she has “No,” was the reply; "be told me you noue. Frequently she d<»-» not even tna did!”—Exchange. Restaurant R.partco. I know her husband's name if »be lie AHO CURS TW LUNGS “Tea or coffee?" demanded the bus comes a Christian and receives trap Sur» te Get It. Item she acquires a name, and this tling waitress. "There te one kind of game flbet no must give lier (pille a new sense of He smiled lienignly. "Don’t tell me; let me guess," he whispered.- Brook one has to carry a gun to Ml wWa be dignity." ta hunting It.” lyn Life._______________ “What game to thatF Notho.a to Do but Loaf. "Trouble”-Balti mors A mn ia— Th*- most (infortunate man to the Where the Shoe Pinched. Crawford - Does your ronarteaee one who gets up In the morning with i nothing to do and all day to devote to :roobie yrm for kwtng that mowry? An Enjoyable Oooeeto*. "Waa your chafing dteb party a Me- It Chicago Record Herald. ’rxIntis w -No, but my wife does. Ton AMO Ml {HltOXT ABB TBOGBUS. lee. It waa her money -Judge. i eeeer a VABAW-niKD SAtiorAcrÂB’-i “Greet. Wo spotted aB the teofi Mncerlty Is live way to heaven. To OB HOBST BSTVWDBXX The fewer deetrve the ax-re pawea>- early In the evening and tb— w«M te think bow to la* sincere to the way of I a tegular resta unurt.”—BBfliflBfA man. Meta ina. ¡term. ..... It KILL OOUCH Dr. King’s New Discovery FOR C8EW*.