TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT JANUARY 19, 1911
VERBAL PITFALLS.
Traps That Await English Speak
ing Tourists In Portugal.
THERE ARE NO TOES THERE
I But, Then, One Has Twenty Fingers
to Make Up the Loss, Fingers of the
Hand and Fingers of the Foot—Oddi
ties of the Verb “to Walk.”
The Euglisbmau or American in
| Portugal who thinks in his own lan-
| guage uu<l tries to speak in the 1:111-
|gunge of the country he is visiting is
I a great smile producer.
For instance, you never marry any-
Ibody in Portugal unless—strange para
Idox you happen to be a priest. You
I marry "with” your beloved Maria, and
I the priest marries you both. In the
Isume way you never dream about any-
Ibody. but always “with’’ them.
[ When the landlady at your boarding
[house is ladling out your soup you
[call out, “Arrive.” You are telling
[her to arrive at the stopping point—in
[other words, that you don’t want more
[than she has put out. When you see
In child that you want to fondle at the
[other side of the room you say to her,
[“Arrive here.” And the child prompt
ly “arrives.”
In Englund when we speak of walk-
ling we refer to a certain use of the
[legs. But the Portuguese verb “to
walk” has many more significations.
In Portugal not only do the -people
walk, but also the carts and cars walk,
the trains walk, a balloon walks, and
| a boat walks. Stranger still, the
hands of a clock walk round the face!
A clock, by the way, never goes; it
"works.”
Unless you are very intimate or very
rude you never say to your fair part
ner at dinner, “Will you have some
bread?” etc. You inquire, “Will your
excellency have some bread?” or, “Will
the lady have some bread ?” the "lady”
meaning not some other lady, but your
fair partner herself.
,
In spite of winter you are never cold
in Portugal unless you are a corpse.
You are "with” cold. In the same
way you are occasionally “with” heat,
“with” headache, “with" hunger or
“with” tldrst. When you have occa
sion to discuss the weather you say,
“It ‘makes’ cold,” “It ‘makes' fog,”
etc. On your way home from an en
tertainment you tell your companion
that it “makes” dark.
If s|>eaking of her husband a wife
says he Is a “tame” man. She merely
means that he is a man of peace and
Justice.
The word “house” means more than
with us. Your buttons share your own
privilege of living in a house. The
buttouholes are called “houses of
the buttons.” The squares on a chess
board are also "houses.” You don’t
say, "I’m going to shave.” You say.
“I’m going to ‘do’ life lieard.” Neither
do you say on the way to the bar
ber's, “I’m going to get my hair cut,”
but you say, “I’m going to cut my
hair.”
When you are in Portugal you have
twenty fingers, but no toes. If you
want to make a distinction you
say “fingers of the hand” or
■■fingers of the foot.” Instead of
telling the servant to set the table
you tell her to "put” it. When you
go to the theater you “assist.” You
don’t mean by that that you “come
on” nor even that you do a little scene
shifting. You mean that you are there.
Residents in flats who meditate tak
ing a holiday in Portugal will la* re
lieved to hear that no one plays the
piano there. They merely “touch” It.
Neither do they ring bells. They
“touch” them also. But they “play”
stones, meaning that they throw
them, and a ship at sea “plays” when
it pitches and tosses.
Be careful how you tell your land
lady that you Intend to dine oflt or
she may think, with a shrug of the
shoulders, that you Intend dining
“outside”—I. e.. In the garden. In an
swer to the kind Inquiries of your
friends don’t say that you are well;
say that you are “good.” Be careful
In your use of words. Some words
similar in form are widely different in
meaning, as an American missionary
once discovered to his cost when
preaching in Brazil, once a Portuguese
colony. His subject was “The Prodi
gal Son." and he gravely informed his
hearers that when the young man re
turned borne his father killed for him
the fatted beetle! But he had merely
made a mistake in one solitary vowel.
A “sleeping” bridge means a bridge
that is immovable (not a drawbridge»
Stagnant water also “sleeps." So do
trucks or trains that waft anywhere
during the night When they laugh in
Portugal they “untie themselves to
laugh.” and when they cry they “un
make themselves in tears.” A persist
ently unfortunate man says, “I am so
unlucky that If I fell on my back I
should break my nose!”- I-ondon An
swers.
Hopeful Names.
Two bright looking colored boys
about seven yean of age laughingly
a<i-o«ted a lawyer on the street. The
man stop|e>d and asked the boys their
names.
“Johnslng," was the reply. “We’se
twins.”
“Well, what are your first names?”
insisted the amused questioner.
“Mab name.” answered one. “is Soda,
and his name.” [«>intlng to the other,
■hl Saleratua Maw done lose all de
others, and she give us names she find
anccesaful la raisin' ”—Newark Star.
tlreetucan Is Its own tTment.—Äas-
dur» I'arkar.
BREAKING A CUSTOM.
HER HOMEMADE HAT.
How the Salt 8hak»r Was Introduced
to the Spaniard.
Until a few years ago no Spaniard
had on his dining table any other re
ceptacle for salt than the old style
open cellar. An enterprising Briton
saw this, noted that the salt was al
ways dirty and gummy and deter
mined to introduce u certain famous
salt shaker from which clean salt
would run freely in the dampest
weather. Bravely he started to tour
Spain for the company.
“No, senor; no est costumbre usar
mas quo esto" ("No, sir; it's not cus
tomary to use more thau that”—the
old cellar), was the answer of every
dealer to whom he presented the nov
elty. Again and again he was re
buffed. He begau to despair when,
standing one day gazing into a Jew
eler’s window, a brilliant idea struck
him. lie entered. Realizing the child
like curiosity and impressionable char
acter of his quarry, he persuaded the
Jeweler to display a shaker in his
window and coached him about sell
ing it. A Spaniard came along, look
ed in the window, saw the curious ob
ject, investigated.
“It 1» very pretty for the toilet ta
ble," he remarked after prolonged
scrutiny, “perhaps useful for the chil
dren. What goes in it—perfume?”
Indifferently the Jeweler glanced up
from some scribbling. “No, sir; only
salt.”
“Man, salt!”
“Yes. Possibly I could get you a lit
tle—the kind that doesn’t get sticky—
to try. But I don’t know.”
The simple gentleman was amazed,
angry, affronted, by the novelty, but
he took it and an ounce or two of the
special salt home with him. The jew
eler ordered another shaker and more
samples of salt. By and by the gen
tleman had used all his salt and wnnt-
ed more of the same kind. The busi
ness of that company today is worth
many figures in Spain every year, and.
more than that, as it is “costumbre”
now to use that particular sort of
shaker and brand of salt there is vir
tually no competition.—Arthur Stanley
Riggs in Century.
Brought a Proposal That She
Promptly Turned Down
1 The bohemians were makiug merry
in the dim lit studio discussing the lat
est novel that one of their number was
trying to write, the brutal editor who
had refused the best urticlc ever writ
ten—a masterpiece of the host—be
moaning the nouintelligence of the art
critics, execrating the mercenary the
atrical manager and utterly repndlat
l.ig the genernl public—the vast horde
of the Philistines. By way of diversion
the painter of pastel portraits said to
the bachelor maid:
“That's a charming hat you have on
Who else would know enough to com
bine turquoise and old rose? You have
a genius for color. What a pity you
only write!”
"Glad you like my bat. anyway. 1
made It myself. I trust It will only
enhance Its merit bi your eyes to know
that it cost me but SO cents."
“Impossible!" screamed all the bohe-
minus with one breath, ceasing their
arguments in order to take notice of
the vastly becoming creation which
cap|>ed the bachelor maid's brown hair
“Fifty cents, did you sav?" asked the
man who once wrote u poem—aye. and
bad It published. Then rising, placing
his baud above Ills heart, bowing low
ami solemnly, he said: “Fair one. will
you be my wife? All my life 1 have
been looking for a woman who could
trim her own hats for nothing. Pray
be mine.”
“Nixie!" scoffed the bachelor maid
cruelly. “Ail my life I have been look
ing for a man who would be willing
mid able to pay $50 for my hats.”—
New York Press.
INSULTED THE KING.
Ths Joke a Printer Turned on Louie
Philippe and M. Thiers.
One morning during the reign of
Louis Philippe there appeared in the
Constitutionnel the following startling
paragraph:
"His majesty the king received M.
Thiers yesterday at the Tuileries and
charged him with the formation of a
new cabinet. The distinguished states
man hastened to reply to the king:
" ‘I have only one regret, which is
that I cannot wring your neck like a
turkey’s.’ ”
A few lines lower down there was
another paragraph running to the fol
lowing effect:
“The efforts of justice have been
promptly crowned with success. The
murderer of the Rue du I’ot-de-Fer has
beeu arrested In a bouse of bad reputa
tion. Led at once beforl the judge of
instruction, the wretch had the hardi
hood to address the magistrate in terms
of coarse insult, winding up with the
following words, which amply show
that there remains not a spark of con
science or right feeling in this hard
ened soul:
” ‘God and man are my witnesses
that I have never had any other am
bition than to serve your august |>er-
son and my country loyally to the best
of my ability.’ ”
The printer had Just cleverly managed
to interchange the two addresses. The
cream of the Joke was that It was uni
versally known how very little love
there was lout between the king and
the minister.—Strauss’ Reminiscences.
Last of ths Old Orators.
The late Senator John Warwick
Daniel of Virginia may be said to
have been the last of the old fash
ioned orators In the house of the con
script fathers. His fame will rest not
on his lawbooks, which were excel
lent; not on hla speeches in bouse and
senate, which were strong, but on two
masterly orations on Lee and Stone
wall Jackson delivered before hla en
trance Into congress. It may well be
doubted whether anything superior to
them, considered simply as orations,
can l>e found in the literature of the
world. They would have delighted
Cicero biuiself.—Champ Clark in Cen
tury.
Flogged For Bathing.
On an Island in the Cam, at Grant-
chester, is a mill pond known as “By
ron's pool" becaiiue It was here that
the poet as an undergraduate enjoyed
his favorite recreation. Even in bia
day Edward Conybeare tells us In
“Highways and Byways In Cam
bridge” bathing waa a practice some
what frowned on by the academic au
thorities. A century or aa earlier any
student found guilty of It was publicly
flogged In the ball of bls college and
was again flogged on the morrow In
the university schools by the proctors.
A second offense meant expulsion from
the university.
Novelty Far New Yorkers.
“That sunrise effect Is all wrong”’
said the stage manager of a New York
musical show.
“What's the difference?” replied the
scene painter. “Nobody who goes to
a musical comedy In New York knows
what a sunrise looks like.*-Washing
I ton Star
Holding a Wake—Ditte a Giri.
Mi*s Txireleigh The pmfeeoor was 1
telling ns today about the moon. He .
aaya the moon is a dead body. Jack
Spooner - That so? Then suppone we
sit up awhile with the torpee. Roaton
Traum rtpL
A CUP OF TEA.
FEATS OF MARKSMANSHIP.
•
T. BCHT8,
A ttorn ev - at -L aw .
It Plays a Curious Part In Chinese Wcnderful Shooting of Captain Bo-
gardua and Dr. Carvar.
Complete set of Abstract Books
Business Etiquette.
Old gentlemen of the i>eriod just aft
When a salesman or person seeking
in office. Taxes paid for non«
a business interview presents bis card er the war will tell you sadly that
at the entrance to a Chinese mer there are uo such shots us there used
Residents.
chant's place of business the possi to be. lu this connection it is inter
esting
to
note
that
$1.000
was
wagered
bility of an audience depends alto- I
Office opposite Post Office.
gether iq>ou how he dejiorts himself against $100 that the champion of the
world
could
not
hit
a
hundred
cousec-
Both phones.
while awaiting the return of the card
bearer. Should he be so iudlscreet as i utlve birds. Many amateurs, not to
to put one foot over the twelve inch speak of professionals, frequently
railing that' intervenes between the make sm b a score without arousing O a RL haberlach ,
step aud the doorway no mauner of comment in these days. Captain Bo-
persuasion can prevail upon the mer gardus was to be allowed three trials.
If he lost the first two and made the
attorney - at - law .
chant to grant him an Interview.
In case he waits patiently in the third the money was ids. and, by the
space allotted to unknown callers this way, lie used a twelve gauge, full
fact is noted, and be is usually ush choke, ten pound gun, and his load Office across the sticet and north from
was five drams of black powder with
ered in.
the Poet Office.
Once In, there Is still a more delicate No. 9 shot. He loaded bls own shells
matter to be disposed of. and In case or hud them loaded according to his
the newcomer is ignorant of the cus directions.
While shooting In England Ids load (7J.EORGE WILLETT,
tom he fares 111 with Ills errand. Im
mediately upon the caller's entering , was challenged by one of his defeated
A ttornky - at -L aw .
and taking a seat a servant brings a rivals, who asserted that the cham
serving of tea, which Includes a small pion’« phenomenal scores were the re
suit
of
hfs
superior
shells.
The
cap
cup for each person present. The
Next to Tillamook County
point of etiquette demands that this tain suggested thnt in their next match
Bank,
both
contestants
should
use
his
am
tea shall not be touched until the guest
is ready to depart. In case the Inter munition. to which tile Englishman
T illamook -
O regon .
view has been a pleasant one, hi which eagerly consented. The captain was
delighted,
for
well
he
knew
what
would
case the caller is supposed to take up
H. GOYNE,
and drink bls tea at parting, and at happen to the action of the light and
this signal all the others do likewise. : delicate English gun under such a
However, should It so happen that the charge. Before the match had pro
A ttorney - at -L aw .
Chinaman Is not pleased with his cull ceeded very far the Britisher with
er and is in any way annoyed by him drew—for massage.
Office
• Opposite Court House,
With the Invention and success of
the merchant takes up the tea and be
the
ball
tossing
machine
a
craze
for
gins to drink at once, which act is a
T illamook , O regon .
direct and decided hint that the in ridiculously high scores swept the
terview is ended and has not been to J country. Five thousand balls In 500
the pleasure of the merchant. The minutes, 5,104 out of 5,500, In seven
BO ALS, M.D.,
caller is then expected to take his im hours and twenty minutes—these were
some of the stunts that dellght'-d the
mediate departure.
When a caller has become well ac hearts of the gun people of thnt day.
FIGHTING LIFE’S BATTLE. quainted some of the formality is bro One man, the English crack. Dr. Car PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
ken by the Chinese, and on a cold ver, shot for six consecutive days,
TILLAMOOK.
Of Thing» That Must Eo Done Tackle day a cup of tea is served immediate breaking (10,000 bulls out of a possible
the Hardc»t First.
84.881.
The
wonder
is
that
there
re
Office-
Olson Building.
ly to the guest in a social way. But
I know a very successful man who the “formal” tea is still to be observ mained of his shoulder anything more
Residence
:
Mr». Wei»«' house, west of
early In life resolved that uo matter ed and partaken of at parting. Irre than pulp. True, It Is on record that
Mrs. Walker's.
after
the
three-thousandth
shot
nt
such
bow hard anything might be or bow spective of the cup given to warm and
nn
exhibition
In
Gilmore
’
s
Garden,
New
seemingly impossible for him to do he greet the caller on his arrival. This,
would do It If the doing would prove however, is done only after many vis York city, the contestant had to pry
M. KERRON,
of value to him, says Orison Swett its, when the business dealings have open bls trigger lingers by main force
Mnrden In Success Magazine. He been of such a nature as to warrant and only succeeded In continuing In
made this the test and would never friendship and hospltaln" —Youth's the mutch by frequent immersions of PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
allow Ills moods or feelings to stand Companion.
arm and shoulder In hot water.—Out
C oncrete B uilding .
ing.
In the way of his Judgment. He
forced himself In the habit of prompt
Tillamcok,
Oregon.
FRENCH FISH STORY.
ly doing everything, no matter how
EDITING AN ENCYCLOPEDIA.
disagreeable, if it would further his
Three Day»’ Carnival of Marpignon’» 8tr»nuou» Timea In Getting Out an
advancement.
Intrepid Anglers.
People who consult their moods,
R. I. M. SMITH,
Early French Work.
Though their lakes and ponds arc
their preferences or tlielr euse never
Many adventures befell the French
make a great success In life. It is the few and their rivers comparatively eighteenth century encyclopedia. More
man who gets a firm grip on himself destitute of fish, the French people are than once the production of thnt work, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
and forces himself to do the thing that extremely fond of angling. Indeed, regarded by authority ns revolution
Office over J. A. Todd & Co..
will ultimately be best for him who nervous and excitable as the average ary, had been stopped, eight days of
Tillamook, Ore.
succeeds. The man who goes through Frenchman may be, be Is content to Imprison men t in the Bastille for the
life picking out the flowers and avoid sit by a stream with a pole and waft printer being one Incident. At the
ing the thorns In Ills occupation, al all day for a bite.
very last moment, after Diderot had
In a certain country town not far
ways doing the easy thing first aud
C. HAWK,
corrected the final proofs, the printer
delaying or putting off altogether If from Paris there existed a fishing club and bls foreman secretly slashed the
possible the hard thing, does not de named the Intrepid Fishers of Marpi articles right and left, cutting out
velop the strength that would enable gnon. A pretty stream goes through
everything thnt seemed even possibly
him to do hard things when necessity Marpignon. but for many years not
PHYSICIAN A SURGEON,
dungerous, and burned the manu
one fish had been seen In this stream,
forces them upon him.
«crlpt. Diderot discovered the atroc
It Is pitiable to see young men and from which circumstance. It followed, Uy too lute when referring to one of
BAY CITY, OREGON.
women remaining far below the place the Intrepid Fishers had little to do.
his own mutilated articles. Hut the
where their ability ought to have car says Harjier's Weekly.
Most remarkable point Is that for
ried them just because they dislike to
The excitement may be Imagined, years very few persons knew of what
R. HEALS,
therefore,
when
the
word
ran
through
do disagreeable things until compelled
bad happened, even the contributors
to. The best way always Is to tackle Marpignon that a large barbel—a remaining In Ignorance. They had
tough and gamy fish—had been seen
the hardest things first.
bad enough of tlielr own articles when
REAL ESTATE,
lu the stream. The Intrepid Fishers
writing them.
turned
out
and,
having
ascertained
Too Public For Him.
Voltaire tells n pleasing story of
F inancial A gent ,
He was a mild mannered little man, that there wus Indeed a barbel In the Louis NV.'s conversion to the mer
short, with gray hair and spectacles. stream. Immediately stopped the wa it« of the encyclopedia, according to
Tillamook, Oregon.
It was noon on Washington street ter some little distance above and tie- the London Chronicle. The talk one
and, as usual, the crowds were shov low him with gratings so that he night at a Trlanmi supper turned on
ing and pushing to get somewhere. could not get away.
R. P. J. SHARP,
Then they ranged themselves Joy «port und thence to gunpowder, as to
The little man was trying to worm his
fully
along the stream with hook and the com|MH<ltlon of which the pnrty
way through the crowds.
could not agree. Mine, de Pompadour
A well dressed woman, accompanied line, and all weut to fishing for the lamented their all round Ignorance.
RESIDENT DENTIST,
by. n small boy, was mixed up in the one fish.
For Instance, she herself did not know
By and by one Intrepid Fisher
crowd. She wanted to cross the street
caught him nnd Immediately threw what her rouge was made of or how Office across the street iron' the
The l>oy «topped to look In a window.
her silk hose wore manufactured.
The lady reached down and grasped him back Into the water. In the “Tte a pity." "«Id the Due de la Val
Court House.
course
of
time
anothe*
caught
him
and
a luind. saying. “Take my hand, dear.”
uer«,
"that
hla
majesty
confiscated
our
Dr.
Wise's office.
“Not right here on the public street” did the same.
encycloiMslia«, which coat us 1<H) pls
For three days one veracious ac
she was startled to bear some one re
toles ”
count has It the Intrepid Fishers kept
ply.
The king recalled that he had a
HARCHET,
Looking down, she saw that she was at work catching this one barbel, and copy, and three valets were sent for
at
the
end
of
that
time
the
Ash
died
clasping the hand of the very Inoffen
. The Fashionable Tailor
the twenty one volumes and staggered
sive little man. who seemed to be of exhaustion and loss of blood. Thou back with «even each. Gunpowder,
the Intrepid Fishers counted up the
much confuseti and embarrassed.
rouge, «Ilk stock I tigs, were all found
“Sir,” she said haughtily, “I don’t notches that they had made on their tnere. Rome found answers to legal Cleauiug, Pressing and Repair
want you. I want my son.”—Boston fish poles, and the man who had problems that troubled them. The
ing a Specialty.
caught the barbel the most times was
Traveler.
king discovered the rights of bls
declared the champion fisherman of
crown set forth, nnd In hla satisfaction
Store in Heins Photographic
Marpignon and received great honors
Ths New and Old Geology.
he allowed the confiscated copies to be
In its early history geology present
Gallery.
returned
ed two schools—one Insisting on a doc
Fishskin Tartar».
trine of "catastrophes,” the other on
The skin of the fish does not suggest
Bearded Woman.
B uiinkm
l-hone A. 100»
a doctrine of “uniformity.” The for Itself as a suitable material for the
The bearded woman Is not a Action. L and office
A SFFCfALTY.
mer regarded the changes which have making of clothes, yet it is used for A bearded woman was taken by the
manifestly taken place in our planet this purpose by a tribe of Tartars In Russians at the battle of Poltava and 0UWINO
& COW INC
as having occurred at epochs abruptly, Manchuria. They inhabit the banks | presented to the czar
Her beard
while the other school, reposing on of the Peony river and live by fishing measur'd over a yard. The great Mar-
LAWYERS.
the great principle of the invariability and hunting. During the past 100 I garet, governess nt the Netherlands,
R oom 334 WoicMTIi H i ilmw <-
of the laws of nature, Insisted that af years they hnve become nearly extinct ' find a very long, stiff lieard. Mlle.
T hird and D am htbkrtr .
fairs had always gone on in the same owing to the Invasion of their domain ! Bom de Chette. bom at Geneva In Room Neit to the U.S. Land Ofhre.
way as they do now. It is hardly by agricultural Chinese. They are i 1831, was exhibited In Ixtndoii In 1853
PORTLAND, OREGON.
no essary to say thai the latter theory known aa Ftehskln Tartars The fish In her eighteenth year. Hhe had n
has driven the old theory of catastro they use Is the tamara. a »pw-lco of i profu.M* bead of hair, a large mustache
phe completely from the field.—New salmon. Both the flesh and the skin I nnd a strong black beard. There are
RS. ALICIA PHELP8,
of the fish are »uppoead to po sse as I 'Sher Instances of bearded women
York American.
wonderful heat giving properties Chi about the authenticity of whom there
GRADUATE NURSE,
cago Journal.
All Fixed.
Is no room for doubt. - New York
”1 think I'll propose at the party to
; American.
CrusL
night.”
MRS. PAGE’S HOUSE,
Two elderly belles were tathtag at
“No. you won't.”
Women Without Names.
the ball.
"Womankind In Koren," says E G
“Why won't IT’
- ORE.
' What a flatterer Woofer voa Twfller Kemp in "The Face of Manchuria,” TILLAMOOK, -
“My steter knows the young lady In
,
question, and It bas beetWarranged for e<”' said the first belle.
•suffers from a strange lack the ab
“Why. did be tell you ye« looked sence of names A woman may poa-
you to propose at the ball next week."
bice?’ said the second
»Kansas City Journal.
j sess « pet name, oj her wise she has
“No,” was the reply; "be told me you noue. Frequently she d<»-» not even
tna
did!”—Exchange.
Restaurant R.partco.
I know her husband's name if »be lie
AHO CURS TW LUNGS
“Tea or coffee?" demanded the bus
comes a Christian and receives trap
Sur» te Get It.
Item she acquires a name, and this
tling waitress.
"There te one kind of game flbet no must give lier (pille a new sense of
He smiled lienignly. "Don’t tell me;
let me guess," he whispered.- Brook one has to carry a gun to Ml wWa be dignity."
ta hunting It.”
lyn Life._______________
“What game to thatF
Notho.a to Do but Loaf.
"Trouble”-Balti mors A mn ia—
Th*- most (infortunate man to the
Where the Shoe Pinched.
Crawford - Does your ronarteaee
one who gets up In the morning with
i nothing to do and all day to devote to
:roobie yrm for kwtng that mowry?
An Enjoyable Oooeeto*.
"Waa your chafing dteb party a Me- It Chicago Record Herald.
’rxIntis w -No, but my wife does. Ton
AMO Ml {HltOXT ABB
TBOGBUS.
lee. It waa her money -Judge.
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