TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT JANUARY 19, 1911 VERBAL PITFALLS. Traps That Await English Speak­ ing Tourists In Portugal. THERE ARE NO TOES THERE I But, Then, One Has Twenty Fingers to Make Up the Loss, Fingers of the Hand and Fingers of the Foot—Oddi­ ties of the Verb “to Walk.” The Euglisbmau or American in | Portugal who thinks in his own lan- | guage uueaking of her husband a wife says he Is a “tame” man. She merely means that he is a man of peace and Justice. The word “house” means more than with us. Your buttons share your own privilege of living in a house. The buttouholes are called “houses of the buttons.” The squares on a chess­ board are also "houses.” You don’t say, "I’m going to shave.” You say. “I’m going to ‘do’ life lieard.” Neither do you say on the way to the bar­ ber's, “I’m going to get my hair cut,” but you say, “I’m going to cut my hair.” When you are in Portugal you have twenty fingers, but no toes. If you want to make a distinction you say “fingers of the hand” or ■■fingers of the foot.” Instead of telling the servant to set the table you tell her to "put” it. When you go to the theater you “assist.” You don’t mean by that that you “come on” nor even that you do a little scene shifting. You mean that you are there. Residents in flats who meditate tak­ ing a holiday in Portugal will la* re­ lieved to hear that no one plays the piano there. They merely “touch” It. Neither do they ring bells. They “touch” them also. But they “play” stones, meaning that they throw them, and a ship at sea “plays” when it pitches and tosses. Be careful how you tell your land­ lady that you Intend to dine oflt or she may think, with a shrug of the shoulders, that you Intend dining “outside”—I. e.. In the garden. In an­ swer to the kind Inquiries of your friends don’t say that you are well; say that you are “good.” Be careful In your use of words. Some words similar in form are widely different in meaning, as an American missionary once discovered to his cost when preaching in Brazil, once a Portuguese colony. His subject was “The Prodi­ gal Son." and he gravely informed his hearers that when the young man re­ turned borne his father killed for him the fatted beetle! But he had merely made a mistake in one solitary vowel. A “sleeping” bridge means a bridge that is immovable (not a drawbridge» Stagnant water also “sleeps." So do trucks or trains that waft anywhere during the night When they laugh in Portugal they “untie themselves to laugh.” and when they cry they “un­ make themselves in tears.” A persist­ ently unfortunate man says, “I am so unlucky that If I fell on my back I should break my nose!”- I-ondon An­ swers. Hopeful Names. Two bright looking colored boys about seven yean of age laughingly ad and asked the boys their names. “Johnslng," was the reply. “We’se twins.” “Well, what are your first names?” insisted the amused questioner. “Mab name.” answered one. “is Soda, and his name.” [«>intlng to the other, ■hl Saleratua Maw done lose all de others, and she give us names she find anccesaful la raisin' ”—Newark Star. tlreetucan Is Its own tTment.—Äas- dur» I'arkar. BREAKING A CUSTOM. HER HOMEMADE HAT. How the Salt 8hak»r Was Introduced to the Spaniard. Until a few years ago no Spaniard had on his dining table any other re­ ceptacle for salt than the old style open cellar. An enterprising Briton saw this, noted that the salt was al­ ways dirty and gummy and deter­ mined to introduce u certain famous salt shaker from which clean salt would run freely in the dampest weather. Bravely he started to tour Spain for the company. “No, senor; no est costumbre usar mas quo esto" ("No, sir; it's not cus­ tomary to use more thau that”—the old cellar), was the answer of every dealer to whom he presented the nov­ elty. Again and again he was re­ buffed. He begau to despair when, standing one day gazing into a Jew­ eler’s window, a brilliant idea struck him. lie entered. Realizing the child­ like curiosity and impressionable char­ acter of his quarry, he persuaded the Jeweler to display a shaker in his window and coached him about sell­ ing it. A Spaniard came along, look­ ed in the window, saw the curious ob­ ject, investigated. “It 1» very pretty for the toilet ta­ ble," he remarked after prolonged scrutiny, “perhaps useful for the chil­ dren. What goes in it—perfume?” Indifferently the Jeweler glanced up from some scribbling. “No, sir; only salt.” “Man, salt!” “Yes. Possibly I could get you a lit­ tle—the kind that doesn’t get sticky— to try. But I don’t know.” The simple gentleman was amazed, angry, affronted, by the novelty, but he took it and an ounce or two of the special salt home with him. The jew eler ordered another shaker and more samples of salt. By and by the gen­ tleman had used all his salt and wnnt- ed more of the same kind. The busi­ ness of that company today is worth many figures in Spain every year, and. more than that, as it is “costumbre” now to use that particular sort of shaker and brand of salt there is vir­ tually no competition.—Arthur Stanley Riggs in Century. Brought a Proposal That She Promptly Turned Down 1 The bohemians were makiug merry in the dim lit studio discussing the lat­ est novel that one of their number was trying to write, the brutal editor who had refused the best urticlc ever writ­ ten—a masterpiece of the host—be­ moaning the nouintelligence of the art critics, execrating the mercenary the­ atrical manager and utterly repndlat l.ig the genernl public—the vast horde of the Philistines. By way of diversion the painter of pastel portraits said to the bachelor maid: “That's a charming hat you have on Who else would know enough to com bine turquoise and old rose? You have a genius for color. What a pity you only write!” "Glad you like my bat. anyway. 1 made It myself. I trust It will only enhance Its merit bi your eyes to know that it cost me but SO cents." “Impossible!" screamed all the bohe- minus with one breath, ceasing their arguments in order to take notice of the vastly becoming creation which cap|>ed the bachelor maid's brown hair “Fifty cents, did you sav?" asked the man who once wrote u poem—aye. and bad It published. Then rising, placing his baud above Ills heart, bowing low ami solemnly, he said: “Fair one. will you be my wife? All my life 1 have been looking for a woman who could trim her own hats for nothing. Pray be mine.” “Nixie!" scoffed the bachelor maid cruelly. “Ail my life I have been look­ ing for a man who would be willing mid able to pay $50 for my hats.”— New York Press. INSULTED THE KING. Ths Joke a Printer Turned on Louie Philippe and M. Thiers. One morning during the reign of Louis Philippe there appeared in the Constitutionnel the following startling paragraph: "His majesty the king received M. Thiers yesterday at the Tuileries and charged him with the formation of a new cabinet. The distinguished states­ man hastened to reply to the king: " ‘I have only one regret, which is that I cannot wring your neck like a turkey’s.’ ” A few lines lower down there was another paragraph running to the fol­ lowing effect: “The efforts of justice have been promptly crowned with success. The murderer of the Rue du I’ot-de-Fer has beeu arrested In a bouse of bad reputa­ tion. Led at once beforl the judge of instruction, the wretch had the hardi­ hood to address the magistrate in terms of coarse insult, winding up with the following words, which amply show that there remains not a spark of con­ science or right feeling in this hard­ ened soul: ” ‘God and man are my witnesses that I have never had any other am­ bition than to serve your august |>er- son and my country loyally to the best of my ability.’ ” The printer had Just cleverly managed to interchange the two addresses. The cream of the Joke was that It was uni­ versally known how very little love there was lout between the king and the minister.—Strauss’ Reminiscences. Last of ths Old Orators. The late Senator John Warwick Daniel of Virginia may be said to have been the last of the old fash­ ioned orators In the house of the con­ script fathers. His fame will rest not on his lawbooks, which were excel­ lent; not on hla speeches in bouse and senate, which were strong, but on two masterly orations on Lee and Stone­ wall Jackson delivered before hla en­ trance Into congress. It may well be doubted whether anything superior to them, considered simply as orations, can l>e found in the literature of the world. They would have delighted Cicero biuiself.—Champ Clark in Cen­ tury. Flogged For Bathing. On an Island in the Cam, at Grant- chester, is a mill pond known as “By­ ron's pool" becaiiue It was here that the poet as an undergraduate enjoyed his favorite recreation. Even in bia day Edward Conybeare tells us In “Highways and Byways In Cam­ bridge” bathing waa a practice some­ what frowned on by the academic au­ thorities. A century or aa earlier any student found guilty of It was publicly flogged In the ball of bls college and was again flogged on the morrow In the university schools by the proctors. A second offense meant expulsion from the university. Novelty Far New Yorkers. “That sunrise effect Is all wrong”’ said the stage manager of a New York musical show. “What's the difference?” replied the scene painter. “Nobody who goes to a musical comedy In New York knows what a sunrise looks like.*-Washing I ton Star Holding a Wake—Ditte a Giri. Mi*s Txireleigh The pmfeeoor was 1 telling ns today about the moon. He . aaya the moon is a dead body. Jack Spooner - That so? Then suppone we sit up awhile with the torpee. Roaton Traum rtpL A CUP OF TEA. FEATS OF MARKSMANSHIP. • T. BCHT8, A ttorn ev - at -L aw . It Plays a Curious Part In Chinese Wcnderful Shooting of Captain Bo- gardua and Dr. Carvar. Complete set of Abstract Books Business Etiquette. Old gentlemen of the i>eriod just aft­ When a salesman or person seeking in office. Taxes paid for non« a business interview presents bis card er the war will tell you sadly that at the entrance to a Chinese mer­ there are uo such shots us there used Residents. chant's place of business the possi­ to be. lu this connection it is inter­ esting to note that $1.000 was wagered bility of an audience depends alto- I Office opposite Post Office. gether iq>ou how he dejiorts himself against $100 that the champion of the world could not hit a hundred cousec- Both phones. while awaiting the return of the card bearer. Should he be so iudlscreet as i utlve birds. Many amateurs, not to to put one foot over the twelve inch speak of professionals, frequently railing that' intervenes between the make sm b a score without arousing O a RL haberlach , step aud the doorway no mauner of comment in these days. Captain Bo- persuasion can prevail upon the mer­ gardus was to be allowed three trials. If he lost the first two and made the attorney - at - law . chant to grant him an Interview. In case he waits patiently in the third the money was ids. and, by the space allotted to unknown callers this way, lie used a twelve gauge, full fact is noted, and be is usually ush­ choke, ten pound gun, and his load Office across the sticet and north from was five drams of black powder with ered in. the Poet Office. Once In, there Is still a more delicate No. 9 shot. He loaded bls own shells matter to be disposed of. and In case or hud them loaded according to his the newcomer is ignorant of the cus­ directions. While shooting In England Ids load (7J.EORGE WILLETT, tom he fares 111 with Ills errand. Im mediately upon the caller's entering , was challenged by one of his defeated A ttornky - at -L aw . and taking a seat a servant brings a rivals, who asserted that the cham­ serving of tea, which Includes a small pion’« phenomenal scores were the re suit of hfs superior shells. The cap ­ cup for each person present. The Next to Tillamook County point of etiquette demands that this tain suggested thnt in their next match Bank, both contestants should use his am ­ tea shall not be touched until the guest is ready to depart. In case the Inter­ munition. to which tile Englishman T illamook - O regon . view has been a pleasant one, hi which eagerly consented. The captain was delighted, for well he knew what would case the caller is supposed to take up H. GOYNE, and drink bls tea at parting, and at happen to the action of the light and this signal all the others do likewise. : delicate English gun under such a However, should It so happen that the charge. Before the match had pro A ttorney - at -L aw . Chinaman Is not pleased with his cull­ ceeded very far the Britisher with er and is in any way annoyed by him drew—for massage. Office • Opposite Court House, With the Invention and success of the merchant takes up the tea and be­ the ball tossing machine a craze for gins to drink at once, which act is a T illamook , O regon . direct and decided hint that the in­ ridiculously high scores swept the terview is ended and has not been to J country. Five thousand balls In 500 the pleasure of the merchant. The minutes, 5,104 out of 5,500, In seven BO ALS, M.D., caller is then expected to take his im­ hours and twenty minutes—these were some of the stunts that dellght'-d the mediate departure. When a caller has become well ac­ hearts of the gun people of thnt day. FIGHTING LIFE’S BATTLE. quainted some of the formality is bro­ One man, the English crack. Dr. Car PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, ken by the Chinese, and on a cold ver, shot for six consecutive days, TILLAMOOK. Of Thing» That Must Eo Done Tackle day a cup of tea is served immediate­ breaking (10,000 bulls out of a possible the Hardc»t First. 84.881. The wonder is that there re ­ Office- Olson Building. ly to the guest in a social way. But I know a very successful man who the “formal” tea is still to be observ­ mained of his shoulder anything more Residence : Mr». Wei»«' house, west of early In life resolved that uo matter ed and partaken of at parting. Irre­ than pulp. True, It Is on record that Mrs. Walker's. after the three-thousandth shot nt such bow hard anything might be or bow spective of the cup given to warm and nn exhibition In Gilmore ’ s Garden, New seemingly impossible for him to do he greet the caller on his arrival. This, would do It If the doing would prove however, is done only after many vis­ York city, the contestant had to pry M. KERRON, of value to him, says Orison Swett its, when the business dealings have open bls trigger lingers by main force Mnrden In Success Magazine. He been of such a nature as to warrant and only succeeded In continuing In made this the test and would never friendship and hospltaln" —Youth's the mutch by frequent immersions of PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, allow Ills moods or feelings to stand Companion. arm and shoulder In hot water.—Out­ C oncrete B uilding . ing. In the way of his Judgment. He forced himself In the habit of prompt­ Tillamcok, Oregon. FRENCH FISH STORY. ly doing everything, no matter how EDITING AN ENCYCLOPEDIA. disagreeable, if it would further his Three Day»’ Carnival of Marpignon’» 8tr»nuou» Timea In Getting Out an advancement. Intrepid Anglers. People who consult their moods, R. I. M. SMITH, Early French Work. Though their lakes and ponds arc their preferences or tlielr euse never Many adventures befell the French make a great success In life. It is the few and their rivers comparatively eighteenth century encyclopedia. More man who gets a firm grip on himself destitute of fish, the French people are than once the production of thnt work, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, and forces himself to do the thing that extremely fond of angling. Indeed, regarded by authority ns revolution­ Office over J. A. Todd & Co.. will ultimately be best for him who nervous and excitable as the average ary, had been stopped, eight days of Tillamook, Ore. succeeds. The man who goes through Frenchman may be, be Is content to Imprison men t in the Bastille for the life picking out the flowers and avoid­ sit by a stream with a pole and waft printer being one Incident. At the ing the thorns In Ills occupation, al­ all day for a bite. very last moment, after Diderot had In a certain country town not far ways doing the easy thing first aud C. HAWK, corrected the final proofs, the printer delaying or putting off altogether If from Paris there existed a fishing club and bls foreman secretly slashed the possible the hard thing, does not de­ named the Intrepid Fishers of Marpi­ articles right and left, cutting out velop the strength that would enable gnon. A pretty stream goes through everything thnt seemed even possibly him to do hard things when necessity Marpignon. but for many years not PHYSICIAN A SURGEON, dungerous, and burned the manu one fish had been seen In this stream, forces them upon him. «crlpt. Diderot discovered the atroc It Is pitiable to see young men and from which circumstance. It followed, Uy too lute when referring to one of BAY CITY, OREGON. women remaining far below the place the Intrepid Fishers had little to do. his own mutilated articles. Hut the where their ability ought to have car­ says Harjier's Weekly. Most remarkable point Is that for ried them just because they dislike to The excitement may be Imagined, years very few persons knew of what R. HEALS, therefore, when the word ran through do disagreeable things until compelled bad happened, even the contributors to. The best way always Is to tackle Marpignon that a large barbel—a remaining In Ignorance. They had tough and gamy fish—had been seen the hardest things first. bad enough of tlielr own articles when REAL ESTATE, lu the stream. The Intrepid Fishers writing them. turned out and, having ascertained Too Public For Him. Voltaire tells n pleasing story of F inancial A gent , He was a mild mannered little man, that there wus Indeed a barbel In the Louis NV.'s conversion to the mer­ short, with gray hair and spectacles. stream. Immediately stopped the wa­ it« of the encyclopedia, according to Tillamook, Oregon. It was noon on Washington street ter some little distance above and tie- the London Chronicle. The talk one and, as usual, the crowds were shov­ low him with gratings so that he night at a Trlanmi supper turned on ing and pushing to get somewhere. could not get away. R. P. J. SHARP, Then they ranged themselves Joy­ «port und thence to gunpowder, as to The little man was trying to worm his fully along the stream with hook and the com|MHoy «topped to look In a window. her silk hose wore manufactured. The lady reached down and grasped him back Into the water. In the “Tte a pity." "«Id the Due de la Val­ Court House. course of time anothe* caught him and a luind. saying. “Take my hand, dear.” uer«, "that hla majesty confiscated our Dr. Wise's office. “Not right here on the public street” did the same. encycloiMslia«, which coat us 1- early In the evening and tb— w«M te think bow to la* sincere to the way of I a tegular resta unurt.”—BBfliflBfA man. Meta ina. ¡term. ..... It KILL OOUCH Dr. King’s New Discovery FOR C8EW*.