Tillamook headlight., April 21, 1910, Image 5

TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT. APRIL 21, 1910
I
,
T~
By EDGAR FALE8 MOODEY.
i> right. IMA by American Press Asao*
c tat too.]
lut. Ed ward!"
Vbatr
low are we going to live? You
* beeu brought up to believe that
were to be your aunt's heir, and
■ you lell me that she has left tbe
te so tied up that you cau't touch
Id that her other relatives are like-
I beat you out of It.”
•bat'a so. aud they will beat me out
¡If they learn bow matters stand.”
ITb.it do you mean by that?"
.can’t enlighten you without telling
Whole story."
►ell. tell it.”
J’s too ridiculous."
Ridiculous! Can anything that aep-
rs us lie ridiculous? I will not
| trouble on you aud on myself by
tying you. who, having been
■ lit up on expectations, have made
heiHiraliou forearuluga living.’’
Brhnps not. but you'll laugh all tbe
b when I tell you to whom my
heft her property."
B whom did she leave It?"
■ m next of kin aud at tbe death
present incumbent will succeed
kr estate."
kldn't ask that. I asked whom your
[made tier heir."
Bin thinking of killing blm."
k Edward!’’
pb the only sure way open to me.
he other branches of tbe family
|of bow the matter stands they’ll
I the will.”
Bt In that case you will get your
at would lie a few thousand only,
tare several hundred relatives. 1
;the whole pro|ierty.”
n’t you compromise with this per-
■oni your aunt made her heir?”
I He Isn’t capable of making an
ilient. He does uothing but hi rut
he. come. Tell me the legal
L- I have more bead for such
than you suppose.’’
II. my aunt left the property to
ergon, uud. eonsiderlug who be
bequest Is ridiculous. That will
[plea of tbe relatives If they try
Bk the will. Blit I. being tbe
t this legatee at his deaih. will
pssessiou of tbe pro|ierty. Tbe
heirs will still have good cause
bolt. but 1 will have tbe sinews
I Understand?”
, perfectly. But this |>erson to
the property has been’’—
»n you see him you will see a
The Crush.
It was at an aftermsiu tea. with the
usual musical a<-coiu|Hiiiimeut. The
man’s man had been literally dragged
there, nu unwilling victim, by a zeal­
ous friend who liked afternoon tens
with a musical acconi|>aulmeul Need­
less to say. the zealous friend was a
ladies' mau.
The man's man was very uubappv.
He bad sulked and bad positively re­
fused to Iw iutrisluced to the bevy of
charming girls presiding at the tea
tattles, much to the chagrin of tbe la­
dles' man. w bo naturally couldn't’ un­
derstand the attitude of the tnau's
man. it was luexornble. from his point
of view. But a ray of hope glim­
mered in bls breast when tbe muu's
mau lushed up to him. exclaiming:
“I say. old fellow, introduce uie to
the fat lady sitting over in the comer,
will you?”
The eyes of the ladies’ man glis­
tened.
"With tbe greatest of pleasure.” be
cried. "Have you got a crush ou her?”
"No." replied the man's man savage­
ly. “I should say It was quite the
other way She’s sitting on my hat!”—
Philadelphia Ledger.
He Saw More Lights.
In one of the hotels recently some
new electric lights were put In use in
a decorative way. A young man who
lives ou the hill happened In duriug
tbe evening mid noticed Hie lights.
“They're very nice.” he said to tile
head waited, “but wby didn't you
put up more?”
Tbe head waiter, knowing the young
man's fondness for articles euunierat
ed on the wine list, replied. "1 think
you'll see more of them before you
leave. Mr. So-and-so.”
The young uulu remained In the cafe
a couple of hours and imbibed rather
freely of liquid refreshments. When
he got ready to leave he sought the
head waiter.
“Much obliged to you.” he said.
"Did you put the extra ones In f'r
me?”
"Certainly.” replied tbe head waiter,
bowing.
Tbe young mnn left tbe hotel feel­
ing greatly honored.—Denver Post.'
Suppressing Swearing.
Profane as well as legal oaths have
been I lie subject of many parliamen­
tary measures in Eughiud. No fewer
than five separate bills having the
prevention of swearing for their ob­
ject were presented duriug the reign
of Janies I., but It was not until I <123
that an enactment was finally carried
defining and controlling the offense,
in 1635 a public department was es­
tablished to collect the fines enforced
b.v this law. The officials of tills de-
partment. of whom one was npfiointed
lu every parish, were allowed 2s. fid.
In the pound on tbe money thus col­
lected. and the balance was paid over
to tbe bishop for the benefit of tbe
deserving poor. These |H*naltles ceased
to be enforced after tbe restoration,
but were revived by a statute of Wil­
liam and Mary and still further In­
creased under George 11. — Loudon
Scraps.
t
it was your aunt's attraction for
Iran her husband.”
'busband!”
be eousidered him.”
1 supposed your uncle died long
• did.”
, then, bow Is It that this"—
Bi 1st"—
Bilatr
*s wbat he Is. He baB a couple
I wives.”
|rd. I’m not going to stand this
•r. You are attempting to
fool of me.”
are you that everything I have
ilm is true. and. worse, be has
len married to one of the wives
om he Ilves.”
beast f
I not a beast at all.”
for goodness' sake wbat kind
ion Is her
D to me.
My aunt in her
days was a great student. She
everything—science, religion.
By. She passed from one sys-
i another until she became a
believer In tbe transmigration
. She was uiuvb attached to
band, who humored her In her
[ faiths. There Is no proof
r but that she was sound In
i her latter days, though she
plieved that at her husband's
|ts soul passed into a little
Bt broke through Its shell tbe
Inute my uucle died. She at
»k the greatest care of this
Fdered a special bouse to lie
T blm and always called him
: tbe pet name she had bad
tancle. He grew up to be a
Her. and tny aunt never re
Battention sbe bad shown blm
[birth.
rwhen the old lady died and I
Took over her will, what did I
1 that sbe bad left her whole
kn her husband in tbe body of
■en.”
fat. bar
I I tell you you'd laugh r
bo ridiculous.”
b wbat I said too.”
Lafter a pauae—“what are you
Mor
bearle."
bear
lappilcatioo for tbe estate as
Fir«.
Max Bcerbohm's book "Yet Again”
opens with the essay on "Fire.''
“Fire In my grate.” be writes, “is as
terrible n thing as when It was lit Ly
my ancestors night after night nt tbe
mouths of their cares to scare away
the ancestors of my dog. And my dog
regards it with tbe old wonder and
misgiving. Even In bls sleep lie o|iens
ever mid again one eye to see that we
are In no danger. And tbe fire glow­
ers and roars through its bars nt him
with tbe scorn that a wild lieast must
needs have for a tame one. •Yon are
free.- It rages, 'and yet you do not
spring at that Dian's throat and tear
blm limb from limb and make a meal
of him.’ And. gazlug at me. It licks
Its red lips, and I. laughing good
bumoredly. rise and give the monster
a shovelful of its proper food. which
It leaps at and noisily devour«.”
Th« First Pantomima.
The first pantomime Introduced to
the English stage was •Tavern Bil-
kers” mid was by John Wearer. Tills
was In tbe year 1702. It was prodm ed
at Drury I-aue. Tbe great institutor of
pantomime In England was. however.
John Rice, who devftaB Ibis form of
entertainment In 1717. His first em­
phatic success was In 1724. when he
produced ’The Necromancer; or. His­
tory of Dr. Faustus” So successful
was Rich with his pantomimes that
Garrick. Quin and others became ex­
asperated. Rich lived to see panto­
mime« firmly established at Drury
Lane and Covent Garden. He died In
1781.— London Stage.
Not a Bouncer.
“Mother.” aald a aix-year-old hope­
ful, “isn’t It funny that everybody
calls little brother a bouncing I mi by?”
"Why do you think It’s fnuriy. V.’tl-
lle?" remarked bls mother.
“Because wheo I dropped blm on
tbe floor this morning bo didn't bonne*
a Mt He onl) hollered “
lot a« next of kin?"
are too many next of kin. 1
tber Inherit CSBOjOOB from
ban a few hundred from ■
Mng”
ben. wby don't you kill MmF
rofected Tbe woman to whom
paid a large salary to take
Im never lets him out of ber
One of habit from knowing
T aunt lived that If Dearie
Ibe would loue a fat job lead«
111 watrh. But I'm going to
jet at Mm tonight wltb a
A Mean Suggestion.
Pierrot - The only way for a man •«
understand women u* to gei married
Plerette- And study th* way« of his
wife, eh?
Pierrot—No.
IJsten to
what ah* telle him about th* other
worn*«
Th« Spander«
•'How are you getting along. Jones,
since you g-4 married’ Having any
money’*
"Yes. but for he«ven‘a sake don’t tell
my wlfa."—Judge'« IJbrary
A Coll »ctor's Bargain.
Lord Spencer of Althorp. one of tbe
greatest of book collectors, was at
home only In bls owu field. Gue day
in browsing about Bond street, lam-
don. be weut Into tbe shop of a dealt r
In bric-a-brac. The dealer, w ho kuew
him b.v sight, said persuasively:
"Here Is a fine bit of pottery which
your lordship really ought to have,
and you shall have it very cbeap-r-oul.v
2 guineas.”
I So Lord Spencer bought It aud took
It home aud set it lu a high place.
One day a connoisseur of cbiua paid
him a visit, and Lord Spencer showed
his bargain.
"What did you give for it?" asked
tbe connoisseur.
"Two guineas.” answered Spenctr
rather proudly.
“H’m!" said tbe connoisseur. “At
that price the marmalade should have
been Included.”
“What do you menn?”
"Why. that precious piece of yours
Is nothing more or less than a Mtltl
ling marmalade pot with a green IlliS-
tie painted on It."
Tillamook
Lumber Mamifacturing Compy.
Manufacturers of
H h M log K LI J M BER
Jr
KILN DRY FLOORING, CEILING. RUSTIC AND
FINISHED LUMBER.
KINDS O1
ALL
Silencing the Questioners.
A French gentleman who had been
with M. de Talleyrand for twenty
years accompanied him to the congress
at Vienna after Napoleon's exile to
Elba. People naturally concluded that
tills long Intimacy had made him fa­
miliar with a number of particulars of
the minister's life and liearlng also
upon the events with which he had
been mixed up. Worried with ques-
tfons. tbe friend Invariably replied that
he knew nothing, but tbe questioners
would not be satisfied and returned to
tbe charge.
"Very well.” finally said Talleyrand’s
confidant: "I’ll tell you a petulinr and
altogether unknown fact lu connection
with M. de Talleyrand. Sluce Louis
XV. he’s the only man who can opeu a
soft boiled egg wltb one bnckwnrtl «T
stroke of bls knife without spilling a
drop of the contents of the shell. That
Is the only peculiarity 1 know In con­
nection with him.”
Discretion bad scored a decisive vic­
tory. From that moment tbe ques­
tions ceased.
We Make the Best CHEESE BOXES for Tillamook
County’s Most Famous Cheese.
Tlie Best Equipped Saw Mill in tlie County.
New Machinery, Experienced Worlcmen and
b'irst Class Lumber of tlie Best Quality.
LET LIS FIGURE ON YOUR LUMBKR BILL.
HEADQUARTERS FOR
$
DAIRYMEN’S SUPPLIES |
AND
STEEL STOVES & RANGES.!
1~1
Th« Sting of Ingratitude.
A young physician in the east side.
New York city, spends much lime In
charitable practice, says the Newark
Star. In fact, he sometimes gives to
a |MK>r patient enough moue.v to pay
for prescriptions.
“I’m not getting
rich." he explains, "but ! simply can't
see them suffer for medicines that
may put them on their feet again."
Not many days ago the dis-tor had
occasion to visit a woman who occu­
pied one small tenement room with
her three children. After making out
a prescription lie gave her *2, telling
her to buy tbe medicine and to use
the change for ueeded food. On tbe
following day as be was about to en­
ter the tenement for a second call he
met tbe ten-year-old daughter of the
patient.
“How Is your mother?" he luquired
of the child.
"Oh. she’s all well!” was the an­
swer. ''She took the $2 aud got a real
doctor."
We carry a Larjre Stock of
Hardware,
Tinware, Glass
and China,
Oils, Paint, Varnish, Doors. Window
Sashes,
j
&
Agents for the Great Western Saw.
-i
ALEX McNAIR CO
Reliable Merchants in Tillamook County.
The Most
U
When to Stop Advertising.
An English Journal requested n num­
ber of the largest advertisers to give
their opinions concerning the liest time
to stop advertising, and the following
replies were received:
When the population ceases to multi­
ply and tbe generation that crowded
on after you mid never beard of you
stops coming on.
W hen you hnve convluced every-
body whose life will touch yours that
you have better goods and lower prices
than they can get anywhere else.
When you stop making fortunes sole­
ly through the direct use of this
mighty agent.
When younger and fresher Imuses In
your line cease starting up.
When yon would rather have your
own way anil fail than take advice
and win — Nashville American.
KIDNEYSPILLS
8
for backache, rheumatism, kidney or bladder trouble, and urinary irregularities.
£ Foley's Kidney Pills purify the blood, restore lost vitality and vigor. Refuse substitutes.
Sold by Chas. I. Clough.
Chamberlain’s
Cough Remedy
During the past 36 years no rem­
edy has proven more prompt or
more effectual In its cure« of
Steamer
í
Coughs. Colds and Croup
Th. Ingenious Magpie.
Tbe magpie is nothing If not Ingen­
ious. He always harrh-ades his bulky
nest with thorn brunches, so that Io
plunder it is by no means an easy mat
ter. but when clrctimatancM oblige the
'•pie" to build in a low bush or Itedge.
an absence of lofty trees being a
marked fenture of some northern be
calltleu. be not only interlaces bls
borne, but also tbe entire bttsb. In a
stoat formidable manner Nor does be
atop here. To “make assurau e dou
tile sure" he fashions a me ins of exit
as well as an entrance to tbe castle, ao
that If dlaturbed he can slip out by
his back door, as It were—London
Graphic
than Chamberlain’« Cough Remedy, in
many homes It la relied upon as Im­
plicitly an tbe family physician It con­
tains no opium or other narcotic, and
may bo given ae oonfldeutly to a baby
aa to an adult. Price H6c; largest«' AOo
Did You Ever Try
i
Sue H. Elmore”
(CAPT P. SCHRADER).
MOTOR STEAMER OSHKOSH
(CAI*. T. LATHAM)
HA BRIN’S MKW FEED AMD
LIVERY HAHN,
If not, give him a call.
Second
Everything first-class.
Tillamook & Portland.
block South of P O.
w.
John and th« Franch is«.
A woman suffrage lecturer In Eng­
land recently brought down the bouse
with tbe following argument: **l have
no rote, but my groom baa. I bare a
great rra|>e<-t for that man In tbe sta­
ble«. trtit I a tn sure If I were to go to
him and any. ‘John, will you er er rise
the francliiae?- he would reply. ’I’lewa*.
mum. which bora* Iw IbatT”
ci.
H arris . Prop.
Sail Every Tuesday and Saturday
Couch St. Wharf. Portland
KILL.™« COUCH
u> CURE
th .
LUNUS
That’s
All
New Discovery
A R«sl Regret
Editor I am olrflged In decline your
poem with thanks I am very sorry,
but- Boel-But what? Editor The
management Inalata upon my declining
all poema that way
jt B.
fO»C8S8r
*W0 blL TMBOXT MIO I UNO TROtJBILI.
Pacific Salvage Co.
OUARAWTMD SATISFA0TQKY
OB HOWEY BEFVWDED.
Complete Home Furnishers.
M AMON I C
No S?.
«•••
»4
LO DU U
third S»l»»•
»»eli
I o O V Hall at
I
MOULDINGS,
«osili
Ì
P •••
F bask l*gv,««a<-B. W M
b
in
H. E. M umbm , bee.
We carry ■ general etnefc nt New Furniture, Rug«.
Car|>e«a, Heating Stoves, (.'nob Stove«, and ml»-
crllaneona House Furnishing«.
NOTE. We buy and aril Second Hand (,<>oda of
every drar ription.
PAGE BROS., Props.
O!*
»
$
A/
£
*