1
TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, SEPTEMBER 2, 1900,
Wouldn’t Bo Fooled Again.
A tbepberd once, to prove the qulck-
*«■ of bls dog, which was lying be-
1 the fire In the bouse where we
Le talking, said to me in the middle
, g sentence concerning something
else ”1'1“ thinking, sir, the cow la In
(I,, potatoes.
Though he purposely laid no stress
on these words and said them In a
«let unconcerned tone of voice, the
Jog which appeared to be asleep, tee
' ,y Jumped up and. leaping through
the open window, scrambled up to the
turf roof of the house, from which he
could se* thc Potato fleld- He then,
not seeing the cow there, ran and look
ed into the barn where she was and,
flndins that al1 was rlght’ came ba<?k
to the house.
After a short time the shepherd said
the same words again, and the dog re-
eented his lookout, but on the false
alann being the third time given the
dog got up and. wagging his tall, look
ed hl» master In the face with so com
jcsl an expression of interrogation that
be could not help laughing aloud at
blm, on which, with a slight growl, he
laid himself down in his warm corner,
with an offended air, as if determined
not to be made a fool of again.—Lon
don Standard.
One For the Minister.
Human H«r, .. . Pow,r
A great physician once rJ ,
at, despite its complexity, there was
•nd an ap-
I’^tiou of that fact should 1 cans
cause us
all the more carefully to follow the
wise man’s advice aud to keen our
heart with all diligence. When we
ha^e regard to the tremendous work
wuh w2>acc°mpllslK‘s We ,ulght wel>
with Wesley say. “Strange that a harp
of a thousand strings should keen in
«Xn? 10,‘g ’’ .Estlnia,'’d "> »«entitle
fashion, a man s heart in twenty-four
hours performs an amount of work
Which if represented by the energy de-
manded for a big lift would raise 120
tons of weight one foot high. Such a
calculaticu can be accurately deter-
mined by measuring the force expend
ed In one beat or cycle of movement
of the heart nnd multiplying the short
work Into that of the day. Thus in no
small degree does the heart’s labor
contribute to swell the big total of the
energy the human engine expends
each day It live».-New York World.
Culinary Courtship.
Janet had molded the domestic af
fairs of the family with whom she
lived for so many years that the news
of her intended marriage had much
the effect of an earthquake. “Have
you and David been engaged long?’
ventured the mistress of the house
hold.
“One week when next Sabbath
comes.” stated Jauet briefly.
“And—and had you any thought of
marrying before that?" asked her mis
tress.
“Times I had and times I had not.”
said the imperturbable Janet, “as any
person will. But a month ago when I
gave David a wee bit of the cake I'd
been making and he said to me, ‘Janet,
have you the recipe firm in your mind,
lass, so you could make It if Mrs.
Mann's book would be far from your
teach?’ I knew well the time was draw
ing short.
“And when,” said Janet, closing her
eyes at the recollection, “I said to him.
‘David, lad, the recipe Is copied In a
little book of my own,' and I saw the
glint In his eye I reckoned 'twould be I
within the month he'd ask me."
)
An old minister in the south side of
Glasgow who was noted for his habit
cf dishing up old sermons again and
again was one day advertised to ¡
preach in a suburban church at the
anniversary service there. An old wo
man who in days gone by had sat un
der his ministry, but who had now re
moved from bls neighborhood, deter
mined to go la and hear him preach
on this particular occasion. After the
close of the service she wafted on the !
clergyman, who greeted her cordially
ar.d asked what she thought of his dis-
rourse. “Eh. man," she refilled can
didly. "It's a lang time sin’ I first
heard ye preach that yin, sir, and I’ve
hjard ye at It a guld wheen o’ times
sin' syne."
“Aye, Janet.” said the minister.
“How often do ye think ye’ve heard It,
na?” “Oh. nboot a dlzzen o’ times/
sir." she replied. “An' div ye mind It
a'!" said the minister. “A wee!, maybe
no’ ft a’, sir ” “Weel, I see I’ll need to
preach It to ye again, Janet," said the
minister, and Janet felt that she had
Hippo's Mouth an Impressive Sight.
been sold for once.
The hippopotamus is a sort of float
ing island which inhabits the African
Settled a Great Question.
When Thomas II. Benton was In the rivers. To see a hippopotamus rise out
bouse he was of the opinion that the of the water and go away is as discon
3d day of March and consequently the certing to the tourist as It would be to
congressional term ended at midnight see a sand bar-get out of the Missouri
of that day instead of at noon on the river and chase a cow. The hippo
4th. as unbroken usage had fixed it. life is too short to write his full name
Soon the last morning he sat with his —is a big brother of the pig. He
baton, talked loudly, loafed about the weighs five tons, and a gargoyle is
floor and finally refused to vote or cute and pretty beside him. He is fat
answer to his name when the roll and flabby, covered with a reddish
waa called. At last the speaker, the skin adorned with bristles and has a
Hon. Jumes L. Orr of South Carolina, broad, flat head as wide as a dluner
picked him up and put an end to these table. The meuth of the hippo is an
other of nature’s African extrava
legislative larks.
“No, sir; no, sir; no, sir!" shouted gances. He has mouth enough to do
the venerable Missourian. “I will not the eating for a boys’ boarding school.
cote. I have no right to vote, This is His jaws are very flexible, and those
no house, and I am not a member of who have gazed Into the inner works
of a hippo when he has opened his
It."
"Then, sir," said Speaker Orr like a vast pink lined mouth, studded here
Hash, with his sweetest manner, “If and there with tusks that look like
the gentleman Is not a member of this broken off Grecian columns, have been
bouse the sergeant at arms will please Impressed with the sight. — Collier's
Weekly.
put him out."
And so this vast constitutional ques
How Rats Move Eggs.
tion settled Itself.—Argonaut.
Strange as the story may appear of
rats removing hens' eggs from the
Handy With an Ax.
bottom to the top of a house by one
One important feature in connection rat lying on bis back and grasping
vltb the conducting of mining opera tightly his ovoid burden with his fore
tions In Siberia is the aptitude of the paws while his comrades drag him
Busslan workman for the ax. Wood is away by the tall, I have no reason,
*> plentiful in the country that mln- writes a naturalist, to disbelieve it. I
lng timbers may be figured on at a have seen two rats accomplish the
rate. The current anecdote that a feat from stair to stair in a farm
Russian workman will for a twenty house In Banffshire, the first anxious
kopeck piece lay his left hand, with
Wers spread, on a board and with rodent pushing the egg up on its hind
full strength make an ax cut between legs and the second assistant lifting
ttch Anger cannot be vouched for, but it up with its fore legs, it was the
It Is certainly true that In pick tlmber- best athletic feat I ever witnessed,
tn bad ground, in erecting build- but it is not out of the common. The
a«s. log caUns and all mauner of rat will extract the contents from a
’W Joining the equal of the Russian flask of Florence oil, dipping In his
Feasant cannot be found. — London long tall and repeating the maneuver
until he has consumed all that can be
Globe.
reached.
The Word “Bald.”
* is believed by at least one writer
bat ft is because baldness In women
ss nearly always been studiously con-
that no gentle way of evading
.’‘ blunt word “bald” has been evolv-
In contrast with the many wavs
”,,odglng “fat." “Stout” (which
L, I,®;eana "turdy), “portly,” "com-
sble" and “embonpoint” are in
nces of this evasion. But “bald”
New«’ remalns ■‘‘»aid." - Chicago
Badly Expressed.
l ’ Effusively)—How nice It Is to
, * Bl*t F0« again after all these
B1?’ dear Captain Burlington.
~M,J°r now. That was ten years
tn,i
kno,r She (still more ef-
b ZSLH ow flme
We|>- «■o'1-
dilations and goodby. I hope you’ll
pnn(,h**ntral when next we meet.—
■
He Knew Better.
The Steam Engine.
Hi» Mistake.
The vender of Images, who bad Just
been thrown out of a large office build
Ing. wept bitterly as he looked at his
torn clothes and broken wares.
“Who did this?” Inquired the friend
ly cop. “I’ll pinch ’em if you say the
word.”
“No; It was my fault,” said the vic
tim, gathering up the remains of a
plaster Image. “I insisted on trying to
sell a bust of Noah Webster to a meet
ing of simplified spellers.” - Denver
Republican.
Some Excuee For the Sun.
Artist—There, sir. Is nty latest pic
ture. Ingenuous Friend—Well, you
haven't economized paint on It. have
vou? What title have you given to
it? Artist—What do I call it? Why,
sir. that is an autumn »unset Ingen
uous Friend—You don’t My so. Well,
I don’t blame the sun at *11 for *et
Hng.______________
The Marquis of Worcester while lin-
Iu ,he To«er of London in
, lfiod Invented and construe ted a j>er-
I ... LT8.“1 e,,gl,,e aud had >' publicly
vxhibited the same year at Vauxhail
In successful operation. Thirty four
years later. In woo, Denuls Paplu add
ed the piston to the marquis’ discovery.
In lt;98 Captain Savary devised and
built a steam engine different in many
details front those made by Worcester
and Papin, and in 1705 Newcomb. Caw
ley and Savary constructed their cele-
brated atmospheric engine, which was
complete in every detail. The above
array of historical facts notwithstand
ing. James Watt, who was not born
until sixty years after these great men
had gtveu the steam engine to the
world, enjoys the distinction of being
the veritable Inventor, originator and
author of the most useful contrivance
of the present day. Fulton, who lived
and worked in the early part of the
nineteenth century, Is given the credit I
of being the man who demonstrated I
that steam could be applied to naviga
tion—this, too, in face of the well
known historical fact that De Gary
propelled a vessel by steam in the har
bor of Barcelona in 1543,-St. James’1
Gazette.
*neonteetable.
Hi» Chole».
i».1?'
Fred loves me
Btlsa-wn?5.
make me
wife.
nuMin
M".
J,- ..
Has he proposed yetT one of close here
Seldum
Shares
—
I
• °- but be dislikes mother
king bum dan a bum king.,
time he sees her -Augend. rather be a I---- -
-Kansas City Times
I' m ’
FIR, SPRUCE
and
H EM LOCK Ivi J NIB FR
ALL KINDS OF
The Best Equipped. Saw Mill in the County.
New Machinery, Experienced Workmen and
First Class Lumber of the Best Quality.
LET I'S FIGLIRE ON YOUR LUMBER BILL.
r
and China,
I
Oils, Paint, Varnish, Doors, Window
Sashes,
L
h
/
Agents for the Great Western Saw.
McNAIR CO
ALEX
3.
The Most
Reliable Merchants in Tillamook County.
A '
»,
Cures Backache
Corrects
Irregularities
Do not risk having
Will cure any case of Kidney or Bladder Disease not Bright’s
orDiabetes
beyond the reach of medicine. No medicine can do more.
»
J. S. Lamar, Tillamook, and Hawk & Miller, Bay City.
.1 <
s. VIERECK,
Q
Tillamook Bakery,
V
V
OPPOSITE THE ALLEN HOUSE.
EXPORT BEER,
KAISER BLUME.
Unsurpassed, Non Intoxicating.
Attraction.
SPECIALTY IN ALL KIND OF CAKES,
ALL KINO OF BREAD.
I
MALT TEA.
BOTTLED BY
THE
Columbia Bottling Co
Astoria, Oregon
They Changed.
A Vienna paper relates an anecdote
of the painter Makart. who was some
times as taciturn as Von Moltke. One
evening at a dinner he aat for an hour
next to the soubrette Josephine Gall
meyer without volunteering a word.
Finally she lost patience and exclaim
ed, "Well, dear master, suppose we
change the subject."
“
■
DAIRYMEN’ AND
S SUPPLIES
STEEL STOVES & RANGES-
_ F?
We carry a Large Stock of
Hardware, Tinware, Glass
LM-il
Fruits fall to the earth because the
earth attracts them. Bubbles in a cup
of tea stand around the sides of the
cup because the cup attracts them
The little bubbles gather about the
large ones because the large bubbles
attract the smaller ones. Why do the
bubbles follow a teaspoon? Because
the spoon attracts them. Why are the
sides of a pond covered with leaves,
while the middle la clear? Because the
shore attracts the leaves to Itself.
j ," declared a funny man.
■•Who are they?”
“Posterity"
4-
HEADQUARTERS FOR
Keeping Time In Holland.
Always After U».
,
»
"Railroad time, as we generally un
derstand the phrase In the United
States. Is a little ahead of the 'town'
time, but In The Hague, the quaint old
capital of Holland, all private and un
official docks and watches are kept
twenty minutes fast,” said a traveler.
“When It Is noon In the railway sta
tlon. postoffice and other government
buildings of The Hague the timepieces
In the shops and the watches of the
sturdy burghers show 12:20 p. m. Just
what reason there is for this I don't
know, althcugh I asked enlightenment
in many quarters. It seems a custom
that has been handed down for gener
ations, and the Dutch are too conserv
ative to change the ways of their pro
genitors without some mighty Induce
ment’’—Baltimore American.
"No matter what we do. there la one
MOULDINGS,
C We Make the Best CHEESE BOXES for Tillamook
C
County’s Most Famous Cheese.
Arms and the Woman.
“Did anybody ever see a one armed
woman?" asked a gray headed ra. as
be surveyed the afternoon parade “I
never did. Almost every day I n. et
one armed men, but I have yet to en
counter a woman with that pitifully
empty sleeve. Are there no women
who have suffered that mutilation?
If not, why not? And, If so, where are
they?
"Yesterday I heard it argued that
there was no cause for a woman to
lose an arm; that women do not go to
the wars and are not engaged in occu
pations that are likely to carry away
a part of their body. But that rea
soning is not sound. Many women
work in mills and factories, and they
are as liable to accidents In the streets
and public conveyances as men. Fre
quently they figure in these accidents;
but, although men In the same situa
tion would lose an arm, women never
do.
“What is the cause of their Immuni
ty?”—New York Globe.
i
KILN DRY FLOORING, CEILING, RUSTIC AND
FINISHED LUMBER.
Homer was a beggar; Plautus turned
a mill; Terence was a slave; Boetius
iled In jail; Paul Borghese had four
teen trades and yet starved with them
all; Tasso was often In distress for
5 shillings; Bentlvogllo was refused
admission into u hospital be himself
had erected; Cervantes died of hunger,
and Vagelas left his body to the physi
cians to pay his debts so far as the
money would go; Sir Walter Raleigh
died on the scaffold; Spenser, the
charming, died in want; the death of
Collins was through neglect, first caus
ing mental derangement. Milton sold
his copy of “Paradise Lost" for $75 at
three payments and finished his life in
obscurity; Dryden lived in poverty and
distress; Otway died in the street;
Steele lived a life of perfect warfare
with the bailiffs; Goldsmith's “Vicar
of Wakefield" was sold for a trifle to
save him from the grip of the law;
Savage died In prison at Bristol, where I 1
he wms confined for a debt of $40;
Butler lived a life of penury and died
poor; Chatterton, the child of genius
and misfortune, destroyed himself.
ftavs the woman, "Oh. that mine
re
To
would
It I.
Is better
letter to lend than to give.
<nhir
------- let , me trim a hat f<*
*•1 S¿L?Olng 0Ut *° rote!
hpr " Cleveland Leed«.
¡¿
haven’t • thing to wear.— gh e employment 1* bet
—Talmud.
B^..,u*’’a»»«e Vet, Loet.
Manufacturers of
Genius and Misfortune.
oU Hulltrooth—This here paper
Color In Li»»-
Hi» Miitak»-
’ man in Chicago unloaded
white lie when mamma tells
bushels of corn one day last
"I am very sorry to hear, captain,
hat baby has been saying, but
that your wife left you to uncere
and
„ r a
' iIirier. yon know as well when Z"r-
th* bn ,hat tb*** aln’t enny man In
monlously”
office
It
’
s
another
matter,
a
11»
"My mistake, sir. I took her for a
In nJ1Wate cou,d do that much work more or less -wiled by being mopped
0*dar-Exchange.
mate, and »he proved to be a skipper.”
around.—Exchange.
K
Tillamook
Lumber Manufacturing Comp}
Noda Walers, Nipthons. Uirtlett Mineral
For Real Estate,
•- SEE —
I
♦
t
W
C TROMBLEY
!
BAY CITY. OREGON.
I
4
4
4
4
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Tillamook Iron Works >
General Machinists & Blacksmiths. »
I
Did You Ever Try
HAHRIN’N NRW FEED AND
LIVERY HARN,
Boiler Work, boRger’i» Work and Heavy Forging.
Fine Machine Work a .Specialty.
TILLAMOOK,
OREGON.
If not, give him a call.
»
► Everything first-class. Second
, >
block South of P O.
war vA
W. G.
HARRIS, Prop.
•
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»
*
a