TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JANUARY 2, 1908
Editorial Snap Shots.
Commissioners’ Court.
Work in R. D. No. 6
A, Arstell, tram ......................
Chas Ray.......................................
Chat Murphy.............................
C. D. Ward ..............................
A. T. Blackburn........................
Work in R D. No. 3.
Nick Nelson..................................
Arthur Hays...............................
E. Ginger.....................................
H. Olds...................................
Interesting Items.
.
4.00
The figures given in the public docc-
8 00
9.25 ments confirm the idea that, whatever
4 25 may be the matter with currency supply,
2 50 this is a time of great and general in
dustrial prosperity.
» * »
21.50
In addition to bis other troubles
1700
17.00 Secretary Cortelyou has been called
8.50 into court. Some of the panic suffer
ers are complaining because they failed
.50 to get their quota of Panama bouda.
The Board of Coonty Commissioners,
Those who have made new year reso composed of County Judge H. F, Good
.
lutions should stick to them.
speed and Commissioners Geo. W Body
.
« « «
felt aod H V. Alley, met this (Thursday)
.
It cost the taxpavers of this couoty
between $1,200 and $1,300 to prosecute morning.
The first business taken up was the
Hembree for murder, and Governor
bills which were allowed for the Novem
.
Chamberlain turned him loose after one
ber term, and warrants were ordered to
.
year in the penitentiary.
pay them. These bills were published in
♦ * *
There appears to be bright prospects the Headlight a lew weeks since.
8.25
of work on the railroad starting again Register Printing Co....................
Guy Bunn...................................
* * a
25
00 Robert Nelson and team......... . 12.00
Roger
Ms
honey,
wood
.................
as soon at the weather will permit. It
The voters who have come of age since
.70
King
&
Smith,
brush
.................
is to be hoped that some of the reports
Ed Hannenkrat and team.... . 6 00 1900 have witnessed an era of prosper
8.10
Pacific State Tel. & Tele. Co....
are true which are being circulated.
6,00
ity and been a part ol it, Mr. Bryan’s
8.59
McNair & Co., merchandise ....
:« » *
A. G. Beals and team............... . 14.00 idea that this class will turn his old
We hope the Dairy & Commercial As G. B. Lamb, salary ...................... 133.33 J. J. Rupp aud team .................
4 OO minority into a majority is a strange
50.00
sociation will not think that we handed K. Mills, salary............................
4.00
[arnea Hunt and team............
delusion.
it a lemon this week. That is not our W. D. Bodyfelt, salary ............... 39.00 Albert Olds.................................
4 00
* * *
intention. We are In the newtpaper G. B. Lamb, stationery aud book 10.00
A question exists in the Illinois Legifc-
Luke Woolfe .............................. . 2.00
business and give it simply as news so as Glass dt Prudhomme, merchan
H. Leach..................................... . 15.75 ‘ latiun as to whether a majority vote pas
to let people know where they are at.
dise .............................................. 72.00 John Erickson........................... . 12 00 sed the primary bill. There can be no
* « «
C. A. Johnson, salary ................. 50.00
11 50 doubt that tbe people of the state want
It is no great surprise to be informed W. W. Wiley, salary and express. 85.68 Edwin Boquest.........................
Frank Tone and team............... . 17.50 a sensible primary law by much inoie
that Ladd & Tilton’s bank helped to A. W. Severance, stamps.............
5.00
gobble up tbe funds of the defunct Title H. Crenshaw, salary................... 133.33 0. Gulstroru ............................... . 6 00 Chan a two-thirds majority.
a * »
Guarantee and Trust Company. That is J. C. Holden, salary .................... 50.00 C. A. Svenson .......................... . 14 25
The emigrants returning from this
1 00
wbst was expected. Lut, oh my ! ,What Tillamook Lumbering Co........... 29 29 J. W. McKinley........................
1 00 country will remark when they get a
a big barrel W. M. Ladd is over, with Herald printing ............................ 22.56 Ed Jacoby...................................
.
12
50 home job that the pay for a dav s woik
A.
E
Nichols
and
team
...........
the Oregonian laying bare the facts day Capitol City Nursery, trees lor
lookalike thirty cents. Most of them
.
3
50
W.
B.
Elliott
and
team
..............
after day.
Court House............................... 13.00
3 50 will come back. A taste for Uncle Saur s
» « M
Frank Wheeler.............................
The new city dads will meet for the Tillamook City Water Works ... 24.00 Dolph Tinnerstet......................... . 10.00 wages is apt to be permanent.
* * *
first time on Monday, and if they look William Eaaom, 75 cords of
1.00
Jack Williams..............................
wood ......................................... 300.00 M. C. Trowbridge...................... . 8.00 JA City of Mexico paper says of
after the city's welfare as well as tbe
American political contests that “ There
retiring officials they will be doing well, Tillamook City Water Works ... 21 00
BANK’ HOLIDAY JURY EXPENSE.
41.00
and we do think that ex-Mayor Botts H. A. Mills, work on road .
. 3.40 is always a mysterious, unknown factor
4.90
and the ex counciltnen are deserving of W. R. Robede«, merchandise ..
9.00 in presidential election»." In fifty years
3.50 E. K. Scovell............................. . 9.00 the Democrats have succeeded m elect
the thanks of tbe citizens ior looking Chas. Hart, work on road.........
Harry Sweeney.........................
Cloverdale Mercantile Co,, mer
after tbe city's affairs.
3.80 ing one man, and consider the mysteri
20 25 Jacob Peaterfield.........................
ous factor rather one sided.
chandise
.......................................
5.60
* * *
Lloyd C. Smith...........................
* * *
Claim of A. K. Cane for $50.67 was
3 40
There is another la grippe epidemic
Andrew Anderson
The Duma has voted that the Czar
alldwed in tbe amount ot $44.67.
9.1)0
going over tbe country, ngain making
James
Thompson
shall no longer be officially known as
Frank Worthington, gravel......... 12.50
3 40
its appears in Oregon. It plays havoc
the “autocrat'' of all the Russians. Elim
7.40 Frank Berns .........
B. Batzner, blacksmith work ....
8.00
with all classes, especially boozers and
Frank Worthington
inating the word is a necessity if consti
Krebs Bros., lumber.................. 114 48
5.80
persons with low vitality. We feel sorry
G. W. Wallace.........
tutional methods are to get a start.
G. B. tab, salary........................ 133.33
4.40
for tbe boozers, for they will find it diffi
M. B. Petteys.........
Probably the czar will see the logic of
A. M. Hare, salary .................... 100.00
cult to dodge this new lid that is coming
3.40
Dee Tomlinson...........
the situation and consent to the change.
C. I. Clough, merchandise......... 147.15
down on them. With Sunday closing of
9.00
W, N. Reddaway.......
* * *
2.50
Mason Bros., merchandise.........
7.20
saloons and the anti-SHloon sentiment
O. P. Mattoon...............
One faction of tbe Democratic party
39.00
W. D. Bodyfelt, salary................
spreading all over the country, and now
3.40 wants a Southern candidate for ptesi-
Jos. Dürrer..................
K. Mills, salary........................... 50.00
3.40 dent, another prefers a Western man
In grippe threatening the boozers and the
Frank Tone..................
C. A. Johnson, salary.................. 50.00
soaks, they must think that conditions
2 40 and others are for an Eastern, North-
W. J. Plank..................
A. M. Hare, salary....................... 100.00
7
are getting tropical for them.
20 ern or Middle man.
C.
C.
Jensen
..................
Looking the
3.99
Frank Trout, refunded...............
3 80 whole field over it is apparent that
* * *
133.33 Tracy R. Elliott.........
H. Crenshaw, salary..............
4.40 Col. Bryan is the only candidate who
The Oregonian is taking up the ques J. C. Holden, salary.................... 50.00 Peter Nelson................
4.40 fulfills all of these requirements.*
Casper
Schlappi,
jr...
tion of homicides in Oregon, which ap Pacific Tele. & Teleg. Co.............
4.50
8 20
pear to be on th« increase, and alarm J. J. Rupp, wood................
if * *
104.00 M. C. Kellow................
4.00
Smith Elliott............... .
Boston's municipal debt is $111,000-
ingly so. Well, what's the use, anyway Glass & Prudhomme, mercban.
000. It has more than doubled in 12
to bother arresting the murderers, put dise ........................................... 76.53
$135.60 years, piling up tour times as fast aS tbe
Total
ting the taxpayers to a lot of expense in Mrs. J. M. Bodie, county poor .. 40 00
trying the cases, when juries acquit mur W. R. Robedee, merchandise...,
wealth and seven and a half times as
2.00
GARIBALDI.
derers ou the plea of insanity and the Fred Zaddach, supervisor......... 35.00
last as the population. The citv holds
governor turns them loose if they happen Jones & Kundson, merchandise
Mias Elsie Hoff«tatter opened her an election this month and people out
7.50
to get into tbe penitentiary ? That is C. Raudall, supervisor................. 69 68 school Monday after a week s vacation. side are not ex|>ecting it to decide to
the rotten system that to in vogue, and W. W. Wiley, salary and express
Mra. Frank Hobson arrived home have more of tbe same kind.
how loug tbe people will stand it we do
* * *
charges ....................................... 85.43 Monday morning Crum Portland, where
An astronomer who observed the so-
not know. Probably not before other G. C, Vaughn, supervisor........... 37.81 she has been in one ot the leading hospi
'citizens have been shot down or murder II. F. Goodspeed, salary................ 100.181 tals for about two weeks. We are all called canals ol Mars during the summer
ed in cold blood and the murderers are Carl Patzlnf, merchandise ........ 19.55 glad to see Mrs. Hobson back again. Says the flow of water, as far as it can
be measured, takes place twice a year,
acquitted or paroled.
John Hickey, supervisor............. 57.93 She was accompanied by Mr. Hobson.
first from one pole and then from the
* » *
Charlie
Johnson
is
home
this
week
Expenses Juvenile Court, Davis
other, advancing with a regular speed
One of the objects ofthe “special inter Case............................................
Dona and Charlie McMillan were
20.00
ests'' in this city is to make the county T. E. Morris, team...................... 25.75 guests at the Bay City Christmas tree. of fifty-two miles a dav. No particulars
are given as to the movement ot the
"wet," notwithstanding tbe fact that a Eipeuses Juvenile Court, Davis
Christmas night and report a lovely
mules along the tow-path,
large majority of the people who come to
case. ........................................... : 166.47 time.
* * st
Tillamook City to trade prefer a "dry"
Grandma Peterson met with a severe
COSTS BILL, STATH V8. V. S. BRYANT,
The vent ruble Austrian emporor
to a "wet" town. Business men know A. T, White, justice....................
2.60 accident last week, by running a de who «»» supposed to be desperately
this, for the rote at the two anti saloon J. C. Bewley, constable................. 7.10 cayed sliver under her thumb nail.
sick two months ago has just delivered
elections show plainly tbe sentiment of COSTS BILL, STATE VS. H. HANSWoRTH.
Ray Huitz, fish inspectoral the cannery a speech from the throne in a firm
the people in this respect. It is, then, to A. T. White, justice..................... 1.70 left on the Elmore Monthly.
voice, and showing no traces of illness
the interest of every business man to see J. C. Bewley, constable .............
V. A. Schlappi is still suffering with in his face. Franz Joeef seems to have
1.80
to it that if their customers prefer “dry’’ A. T. Whiley, justice fees in five
his sprained wrist.
undeistood his own case when he told
towns to do their trading, that ought to
Several visitors called Jat the Life hie doctors that lie considered work ills
State cases. .................................
9,75
be good reason why they should look A. T. White, justice fees in three
Saving Station Sunday.
best tonic.
after the business interests of the city. It
Fred Young made a flying trip to
State cases ............... ............... 5.85
* * M
is just as well for us to speak out and let CORT BILL, STATE Vs. JAMES WILSON Hobsonville Monday.
Witli the shrill shrieks of the hundreds
the people of Tillamook know the facts. A. T. White, justice...
Mr. McMillan baa been suffering with of whistles of industrial Birmingham,
............... 11.15
Here it is in a nutshell : The psrties who J.C. Bewley, constable ................. 11.50 lame back the last week.
Ala., announcing the advent of the
ran disreputable saloons and gambling W. A. King, juror ...
The tug Vosburg towed two schooners New Year, every saloon in the city
1.80
joints in this citv want to get back into F. J, Bibby, juror.........
1.80 out to sea Monday morning. The closed Us doors sine die. This was the
the business. It is not necessary for us J. R. Eldridge, juror .
1 20 Elmore also crossed out over tbe bar time set for prohibition to go into e<Tect
to mention the methods whereby citizens E. W. Stanley, juror..
in those counties of Alaliama in which
1.40 bright and early.
were systematically robbad, for so many
The Gerald C is loading a-ilmon at the local option elections have been held
8. McCargar. juror ..
1.20
were “touched." The fight is now on Henry Lowry, juror.
during the year. There were exactly 50
1 40 dock.
and it will be up to the business men and C. McMillan, witneas .... ...
Christie and August Shearersand Mr. counties of the state that closed the
4.10
voteit of ibis county to decide in June M. Peterson...............................
1.70 Evans were guests from here at the doors of the saloons permanently. This
whether they aregoiug to allow the law
leaves 17 counties in the slate In Which
Sam Touilineou. ....................
1.90 Nehalem dance Tuesday night.
breakers and convicted gamblers to run
liquor can be sold for another year.
Lots of ducks on tbe bay.
W. O. Chase..............................
1.70
saloous again in Tillamook county.
Mr. John Pocqet has been under the One year the entire state becomes pro.
WORK
IN
R.D.
NO.
2.
a * a
hibition by statutory act.
weather tbe past week.
W. 8. Hare.................................
The salonn people are endeavoring to
New year urged in quitely down at
Malphus Johnson....................
Lame Shoulder Cured.
make people believe that the local option
this end o’ lhe bay.
Warren Hoskins........................
Lame shoulder is usually caused by
law is to prohibit people from drinking.
rheumatism
of the muscl-a and quickly
Earl Paul ...................................
It is nothing of tbe kind. It simply leaves
yields toa few applications ot Cham
Joe Price....................................
it to tbe people whether they do nr do
berlains Pain Balm. Mis. F. H. Me-
Harry Crane.............................
Elwee, of Boistown. New Brunswick,
not want saloons in the precinct, county
Hiram Perry..............................
Good coffee is partly in writes “ Having been troubled lor
or state in which they live. That is the
some time with a pain in my left
Hen Johnson................ ..............
gist of tbe local option law. Then they | John Johnson ............................
buying and partly in yhoulder, I decided to give Chamber
say that liquor is being shipped in. In
Iain's Pain Balina trtal. with the result
Clarence Tilden ..........................
making; like everything that I got prompt relief." For sale by
answer to that,|the'newspapets nor any
John Hickey, team .............
all Druggists
one else hart no right to butt in. for that
else.
is tbe private business of citizens. If tbe WORK ON BUI NESTt’CCA TOLL
Your (tocer ntums roar none, if ,ou don't
liquor was shipped in to be sold, that is |. C. Mills with team .................
Mke Srhillins a Beat are pa, him
a different thing. Local option amounts A. A. Lane ....
to this - Are you in favor or opposed to A. S. Ijine with team...........
The Pure Food Law.
WORK IX B.D. #0.1
salooM in the precinct, county or state ?
Secretary Wilson says, •' One of tl.e ob
The saloons have had a long trial, and Emil lutrwn and team
20.00 jects
ot the law is to inform the consumer
the verdict of tbe people is that they 8. W. Linkhart ................
o OH of the presence of certain harmful drugs
hare sold doctored whiskey, ran gamb Fred Kal'ba and team
that
.... 7.50 | In medicines'' The law require«
,________
10 Oo ! the amount of chloroform, opium, mor.
ling joints, houses of prostitution, ruined Fred Zaddach's team ....
9
M
i
phine.
and
other
habit
forming
drugs
young men and women, brought poverty ¡Fred Kabba. sr...............
be stated on the label of each
to thousands ol happy homes, are re. | Chas. F.asotn and team .
.... 38 50 bottle. The manufacturer« of Cham-
•possible for the large number of mur L. l.udtke ........... . ............
18.50 berlain's Cough Remedy have always
11.00 l'ts'u’r>I that their n-asady did not con-
ders, robberies and other crime« which I N. P. Alley and powder
5 00 Uk'n
these drugs, and the truth
art on the increase, and alarmingly so, F. Kleinham ....................
\ of this claim is now fully proven, as no
and which have become a source of great j Hugo Klein........... . .........
i# mention of them is made on the l«h-l
eifienM to the taxpayers. So in dealing I W b . Derby ....................
8.50 Thia remedy ia not only ona of th«
... 5 00 **te«t. but one of tha beat in use foe
with the local option question, these art Edward Larsen...............
A no
and oolda. Its value has been
facta which the saloon advocates cannot Wm Knight ........... .
‘
w proven beyond queatimi during the
deny and refute. The people of Tilla Bob Radecker.....................
.... 10.00 many year« it ha« been In general
mook county wete amongst the first in Fred Lang and team ...
17.50 usa. For Bale by all Druggists,
-------------------------
Oregon to shut out the saloons, because Geo Knight and team .... ----- II 501
they saw for thematites that they win Wm Armstrong and team
. .. 17.00 Croup and Whooping Cough.
_
T" kx
. . . —
------
a corsa to the covoty and the people. It Wm Tnbbersing .............
The mothersof m voung
children K. have
a s a a
6. 75
no r.eed to f«ar theae dawrn if thevl
was pot becaass tbe citmeoa are peobibi- Wm Schollmtyer ...........
.... 11 50 keep Chamberlain s Congh Rem.dy al
tioototo that they voted lor local optioa, Dan Hickey ....................
.... 2.50 hand
Mr. M Itovanpoe«. of Paola!
hot ImeauM they want to get nd of tbe Pant Veditor ...................... ...
«.»? Valley. Ind Ser., writes. " I have used
piacaa where crissa. wrstebedneaa filthy Frank Steinbaner........... .
Chamberlain
s Cough Rem-dy In mv |
.... 450
famlly fer «svoral veanano have f.mnd |t i
langoagr poverty and law leanness origi R A Crawford ..............
.... 8.50 aepecially effeettve for eroopand whoop 1
•ata.
F. It. Wakeler..............
.... 7.50 1mg cough,1 Porsoia by m Druggiats |
COFFEE
A LEGEND OF WORMS.
THE PREY CF A GRIZZLY.
Prophecy of the Jewish 8ago and Ito
Strange Fulfillment.
By a Little Oversight Bruin Was Rob
bed of a Good Meal.
Rashl lived durlug tbe time of tbe
first crusade, and one of tbe legends
of Worms connects him with this
event. He was one day seated with
his pupils, when a kulgbt, full pano
plied, made his way Into tbe school
house and with threatening mien thus
addressed him: “Rabbi, thy name for
wisdom has reached me and fain would
I learn my fate from tbee. I have
assembled a host wherewith I purpose
to drive tbe Infidel Turk from the Holy
City, but before I set out I demand to
will
know whether my undertaking
*
—
<n
succeed. Answer me at once. I have
no time for delay."
The rabbi replied: "Thou wouldst
learn the future from me? Alas, I am
unable to foretell It. God alone can
say wbat the future will bring forth.
I have no powers of divination, and
my faith forbids the assumption of
them. Pray, therefore, forgive me it I
am unable to accede to tby request.”
“Rabbi.” exclaimed the knight In
tones of passion, “I will listen to no
refusal. Well I know that thou canst
foretell the future If thou wilt. As
truly as I am Godfrey of Bouillon, so
truly do I promise to protect thee and
thy community from all harm, even If
thou sbouldst foretell disaster to me.
But If it Is a successful Issue that thou
hast In store for me I will right roy
ally reward thee in addition on my re
turn. What? Art thou silent? Speak
or by heaven my sword shall open thy
mouth wide enough.”
"My liege lord," answered the Jew
ish sage, “there Is only, one above wbo
can penetrate tbe future. Unless I
would deceive thee, which I dare not
do, at most I can but venture an opin
ion of what will happen to thee. Thy
undertaking will only succeed In part.
Of thy Immense host but three men
and one horse's head will return In
safety.” With blanched countenance
Godfrey of Bouillon turned to depart,
exclaiming as he ■went, "Take care,
Jew, If I return to find thou bast de
ceived me!” Godfrey ot Bouillon went
up to Jerusalem, captured It and be
came Its first king.
But his success was short lived, and
tbe tide of war turned against him.
Defeat and disease decimated his vast
host until there remained but four rid
ers ot them all who made their waj
to Worms. “The Jew has not spoken
tho truth,” he remarked as the gates
of the city came in sight. “He said
we should return with only three rid
ers and a horse's bead. He has lost bls
reward." They rode up to the gates
and demanded admission. The masslvo
door behind was raised, and they pass
ed through. But as the fourth rider
was about to follow ft fell down again
with a heavy thud, decapitating the
horse and leaving Its trunk and burden
outside tbe city. “Conduct me to the
rabbi,” said Godfrey of Bouillon. “I
must see him at once.” But the rabbi
had long since left Germany.
In the early settlement of California
grizzly bears were numerous and trou
blesome. but few men ever had a more
singular experience with a grizzly than
Paul Sweet, who kept a tannery near
Santa Cruz. The story Is told by Mrs.
Dall In “My First Holiday.’’
Mr. Sweet was one day walking
alone In the wools when he came sud-
denly upon a grizzly bear and h/r two
cuba. He was quite unarmed, and be-
fore he bad time to consider any plan
of action the bear was upon him. She
strack him down, but he kept bis pres
ence of mind and lay perfectly quiet.
The grizzly stood over him for a min
ute or more, then seized him by the
waistband and began dragging him
along. He did not resist, and she drag
ged him for a dozen rods to a little
sandy hollow, where she dropped him
and began digging a hole in the sand.
Into thlB bole she rooted the man, and
then nosed and pawed the sand over
him until he was burled from sight
The prudent animal, not being hungry
at the moment, was making a cache
of her prey.
Mr. Sweets heart lightened as he
realized the brute's intentions, and he
began to hope that he might escape.
He waited a few minutes after the
bear had covered him In, and then,
thinking that she had retired from the
scene, he began to work himself free
very cautiously. The grizzly was on
the watch, however, and at the first
movement of her prey rushed to the
spot and with two or three strokes of
her paw snugly tucked him in again.
Mr. Sweet Instantly became motion
less again and allowed himself to be
reburied in the sand. Luckily his hat
had slipped over his face, so that the
sand did not fill his nose and eyes, and
by raising his head a little be was able
to throw off the sand sufficiently to
breathe.
He was more wary next time and lay
still for an hour or two until he felt
pretty sure that the grizzly had retired
from the spot. Very cautiously then
he worked himself free from the sand
and crept away.
LAPSE OF REASONING.
Instances by Two of the World’s
Greatest Benefactors.
To illustrate the kind of lapse of rea
soning power from which great in
ventors are known to suffer, like that
under Influence of which Str Isaac
Newton cut one bole In a wall to let a
cat pass through and then a small
hole for the kitten, an old story In the
life of Morse will answer well, Long
before he Invented the telegraph Morse
was known to the officers of the patent
office as a persistent applicant for pat
ents. fihen his great Invention of
“distance writing” was about complet
ed he wanted the Baltimore and Ohio
Railway company to try It.
To get rid of him the president of
the road turned him over to a subor
Knew Hia Habits.
dinate. This official was struck with
The following anecdote Is given by the beauty of the Invention and became
an Indian officer as Illustrative of the so Interested In It that he sat up half
manners and customs of the wily the night discussing It w'lth the in
Pathan: A certain general and his ventor. At length Morse confessed
staff, while wending their way through there was only one thing which baf
one ot the narrowest valleys of Tirah, fled him. "As long as the railroad
were annoyed by the attentions of a runs,” be said, “where poles may be
solitary marksman, who from time to erected It will be easy sailing, but when
time sent a bullet unpleasantly close. we come to the big bridges what is to
At last tbe general turned to bis order be done then? We can’t erect poles
ly—a Pathan sowar—and told him to across the stream, and without them
dismount, take his carbine and try and the wire would sag and perhaps break
stalk tbe mountaineer. The sowar from Its own weight. I confess I don't
started off, and presently there was a know wuat to do. Can’t you suggest
crack and a gray bearded old Afridi a way out of the difficulty?
tumbled headlong down the mountain
“Why don't you fasten the wires to
side. The sowar rejoined and fell into the bridge?” asked his companion
his place.
without a moment’s hesitation. For
“Well done!" said the general. “But a moment Morse gazed at him, with
how on earth did you manage It so open mouth, and then exclaimed:
easily ?”
“Why not. Indeed? Why. I never
“Oh," replied the sowar, “I knew his thought of that. It's the very way.”
habits. He was my father.”—London
The layman's tip put the finishing
Truth.
touch to the work of the great In
ventor, and thus wires came to be
Where Fat Is Beauty.
strung on bridges when crossing large
In Tunis when a man wants to take streams.
another wife he picks out a girl and
then carries to her father a pair of
Bismarck’s Retort.
bracelets and a pair of anklets from
One evening when the German troops
one of the other ladies of bls house were before Paris Duke Ernst of Saxe-
hold. The bracelets and anklets are Coburg-Gotha began grumbling in Bis
slipped on the young woman, and
marck’s presence because the iron
eral months are allowed for her fat- cross of the first class, given for brav
tenlng. She must fatten until she ery In the field of battle, bad been dis
completely fills the four ornaments or tributed too Indiscriminately.
Bis
otherwise the man has a right to re marck replied that the distribution of
fuse her, for in Tunis fat is beauty, such decorations was always a delicate
and a permanently slender girl has no and difficult task, “for,” said he. “con
chance of marriage.
spicuous merit has to be rewarded, but
In some cases conspicuous position,
Lacking In Humor.
with or without merit cannot be over
Little Robbie was entertaining Mr. looked. See now," he said. “Moltke
Geezeley while Miss Tripperson was has It. Roon has It. Blumenthal has It
upstairs adjusting her back hair and Excellent! But.” he added, “your high
giving her face a few final dabs with ness and I have It too. and surely It to
the powder puff.
not for us to grumble!”
"My sister says you ain't got no idea
of humor.” said Robbie.
An Odd Legacy.
"Indeed!” Mr. Geezeley returned.
Thomas Jefferson, the founder of the
“When did she say that?”
Jefferson family of actors, was re
"Jlst after you was here the lust membered curiously In the will of
time. She said she seen you lookin' Weston, who was himself an esteemed
at yourself In the mirror several times, member of Garrick's company. Wes
and you never laughed wunst.”—Cleve ton's will contained this item:
land Leader.
“I have played under the manage
ment of Mr. Jefferson at Richmond and
Vary Steady.
received from him every politeness 1
Relative—Well, I sincerely hope you therefore leave him all my stock of
will be happy with him. Mandy. Is prudence. It being the only good quali
he a steady young man? Miss Mandy ty I think he stands In need of.”
—Steady! My goodness. Aunt Judy,
he's teen coming to see me for more
A Heated Diecueelen.
than eleven years - London Punch.
“What's the matter with the fire
eater? Been swallowing too many
Regal Magnificence.
flames?”
“The Muckroyds have a new flat. I
“Nope. He's been drinking too much
believe.”
Ire water. "Cleveland Plain Dealer.
“Tee, and It to something magnifi
cent too. The bathroom to so spacious
that It is poeslble to have two Turkish
towels In It at once ”—Judge
He that plants thorns most
•ipect to gather roses.—Hlpay.