Tillamook headlight., December 26, 1907, Image 6

TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, DECEMBER 26, 1907
A Bark For Barker.
LITERARY F
The Way That Sir Walter Scott
Was Basely Deceived.
CUNNINGHAM’S PROUD BOAST
v ii
This Scotchman Claimod Ha Could
Fool a Congress of Antiquarians
With His Own Writings snd Bsllsds.
Other Famous Forgers.
The editor sat in his easy chair. Ed!
tor» always have easy chairs In Be­
llon He thought be recognized the
handwriting on one of the envelop«!.
He sighed.
"Another poem,” said he, reaching
for the waste paper basket. He open
ed the letter. He was agreeably dis­
appointed. It was prose. It ran as
follows:
"A man named Barker had a dog
that barked, so be called it Barker be­
cause it barked and because his own
name was Barker So the man was
Barker, and the dog that barked was
Barker. The man didn't bark, al­
though his name was Barker. Barker
and Barker went for a walk, and
Barker barked—that Is, dog Barker,
not man Barker. In fact, dog Barker
barked so much that man Barker said:
Barker, don't bark so often. You nev­
er hear me bark.' Just then man
Barker barked his shin on the bark of
a tree and barked like anything.”
The editor paused. There was a note
Inclosed, which ran, "I’lease send check
for Inclosed to me at 1001 Barker ave­
nue. city.” Then did the deus ex
machlna write, with a smile. “I have
received your Joke and will send check
—when my bark comes In.”—Judge.
Why a Vessel Is Usually Spoken of as
Feminine.
Mr. Kipling, champion of the ro­
mance of machinery, has done much
to prove bls case in his tales and po­
ems of the locomotive, the motor car,
the torpedo boat, the destroyer, the
submarine, the tramp steamer and the
ocean liner. Nevertheless both the
literary and seafaring world Is still di­
vided on the question, “Is the steam­
ship of today as mueh a thing of beau­
ty, of romance, of Inspiration, as were
the famous clippers, the swift packets,
the stately Indlamen and the daring
whalers of a day goue by?”
Recently a group of travelers, look­
ing upon their mighty vessel at its
pier, noted the vast sides glistening
with fresh paint, the elegant appoint­
ments, the immaculate decks and the
shining brasses, and one of them quot­
ed approvingly, “The liner, she’s a
lady.”
“Is she?” queried an older man.
“That's what I doubt. At least if this
magnificent monster Is feminine at all.
she's more than a new woman or an
athletic girl even. She's an amazon,
a giantess, a circus lady, fit to Juggle
cannon balls and lift men hi her teeth.
“Every craft Is ?illl conventionally
■she,’ I know, but most of them are
losing their femininity. Now, a ship
In her movements, her style, her in­
dividuality. really was a lady.”
“I suppose you have heard the old
conundrum, ‘Why Is a ship referred to
as she?’ ” asked another of the par­
ty.
“I don’t remember it. What Is the
answer?”
“ ‘Because she requires so much rig­
ging before she can go anywhere.’ ”
“Well^on the whole, I think the ‘she’
Is fitting. Once behold a full rigged
ship under all her canvas, her gilded
figurehead courtesylug deep Into blue
sea and racing foam, her lofty main
truck swinging Its splendid arc against
blue sky and racing clouds, and you
could never doubt It. But when we
change sails for steam we should
change sex and pronoun with them.
This ponderous leviathan ought plainly
to be ‘he,’ and. then, think of a bat­
tleship! Absurd!”
The youth, who had already quoted
Kipling smiled and completed his quo­
tation:
"I could cheat a whole general as
■embly of antiquarians with my origl
nat manner of writing and forging bal­
lads.” The njpn who made this proud
boast. Allan Cunningham, was a
youthful stonemason of Scotland, earn
I
Ing 18 shillings a week. That he was
no idle braggart Is evident, says the
London Tit Bits, from the fact that In
bis twenty fifth year he perpetrated
one of the greatest literary frauds of
the nineteenth century.
Cunningham In spite of his humble
role in life could write poetry the
beauty and pathos of which would
bring tears to the eyes of the reader.
Apparently, however, he possessed a
Legend of St. Winifred Well.
desire—characteristic of many rogues
A romantic legend hangs around St.
of literary genius—to make experts Winifred well. Cradocus, a neighbor­
look foolish, and when a Mr. Cromek, ing prince, smitten with the beauty of
who in 1809 was traveling in Scotland a Holywell damsel and roused to anger
with a view to making a collection of by her coyness, struck off her head as
genuine Scottish songs, asked Cunning she fled from his unwelcome attentions.
bam to assist him the stonemason The head, rolling down the hill, rested
concetved the idea of writing ballads near the church, and from the spot the
and passing them off on Cromek as old present copious spring gushed forth
Scottish productions.
as the earth opened to swallow up the
These were included in a volume, assassin. St. Beuno, who was passing,
and, although most of the critics de •picked up the bead and, with a skill
tented the fraud and it was establish which Is now lost to the medical pro­
ed beyond doubt that Cunulngham fession, restored the maiden, with only
wrote the ballads himself, they ac­ a slender white line on her neck as evi­
quired an immediate reputation, und dence of the miracle. But not only did
the genius of the writer led people to the well spring from the spot where
overlook the deception.
the head rested, but the moss on its
Nor was Cunningham the only forger brink was supposed to be possessed of
of Scottish ballads. Robert Surtees, a particularly fragrant smell, while the
the celebrated antiquary and historian, blood marks on the stones assumed
for some curious reason not only palm many beautiful tints on June 22, the
ed off on Sir Walter Scott as antique anniversary of the event. Today the
three ballads purely of bis own com­ well is contained in a rectangular
position, but actually suffered them to building, and the water flows into a
occupy a place tn the "Minstrelsy of large basin In the shape of an eight
the Scottish Border." with a fictitious pointed star.—London. Chronicle.
account of tbelr origin, and left the
The liner, she's a lady, and ‘er route is
novelist deceived to the end of bls
cut an’ dried;
Handling Live Wires.
The man-o’-war’s 'er ’usband, an‘ ’e al­
days.
Never handle an electric wire (lest It
ways keeps beside.
Mention of the deception of Sir Wal­ be "alive”) with the naked hand, but
“Good!" agreed the other. “It’s some­
ter Scott reminds one that the famous use a nonconducting substance ns a
novelist was the victim on several oc­ protector. Any good nonconducting thing to admit that the man-of-war is
not a lady too!”
casions of literary forgers who used substance will supply protection.
“Even before the days of steam,
his name to boom their own work.
Rubber—In form of gas stove tube wasn’t it odd that she used to be?”
George W. Ilaerlng, who under the or water hose, could be thrown over a
pseudonym of Willibald Alexis came wire to pull it from Its connection with asked a lady.
“No; the oddity was in saying ‘man’
to be one of Germany's first novelists a live wire.
of war,” was the reply. “But I sup­
of the early part of the nineteenth
Porcelain—In form of a bit of com­ pose that was to Indicate her mascu­
century, published his first book, “Wal- mon crockery or a floor tile, hand plate
line duties, much as when Marla The­
ladmor,” and announced it as a free for door, a stone Ink bottle.
resa assumed sovereign command in
translation into German of a novel
Glass—A stout bottle, n glass rod or
boldly ascribed to Sir Walter Scott. a pane of glass could be used to dis­ time of war her subjects, instead of
He afterward endeavored to excuse lodge a wire from Its connection with acclaiming her queen, bailed her as
'king.' A ship of the line was quite
himself on the ground that people had a trolley wire or other current feeder.
properly 'she,' and man-of-war is an
been stupid enough not to see In “Wal-
Wool—A woolen scarf, stocking, coat official title, anyhow."
ladmor” a satirical attack on the craze or wrap.
“You’re mixing me dreadfully!” com­
then prevalent for Scott's works.
Cotton—Any piece of cotton garment plained a young girl. “How am I ever
In France several mimetic attempts
or stout cotton twine.
to learn about ships when you tiegin
on Scott have been made, notably "Al­
Silk—Scarf or other garment.
by telling me ‘he’ Is ‘she’ and ‘she’ Is
lan Cameron" (1832) and “Ayme Verd”
Any of these materials in goodly ‘he?’”
(1842), which were both published In
It Is an interesting question. Do
Taris as being Scott's, and "La Pythie thickness could be used to protect the
hand In removing a live wire or even vessels lose their femininity with their
des Highlands,” Introduced to the
using
an
instrument
to
cut
It
through.
wings? Are they becoming mannish?
world as the work of the famous nov­
Is the liner not a lady?—Youth's Com­
elist In 1844 by Charles J. David, son
Spain's
Canny
Railroads.
panion.
of the famous French painter.
In Spain the railroads do not lose a
But perhaps the most Interesting of
chance
to
make
a
little
profit
even
in
Tobogganing In 1765.
all the attempts to trade on Scott’s
It is interesting to note in Smollett's
name was that connected with the the case of the Dontravelers. When
name of E de Saint Maurice Cabany, you see somebody off in that country "Travels Through France and Italy”
director general of the Society of you must pay for the privilege. The that when the novelist w as making an
Archlvlstes of France, who In 1855 railroads all sell bllletes de anden. excursion In March, 1765. from Nice
startled the literary world with a new which are good for the platform only. across the Maritime Alps to Turin he
ly discovered novel by Scott, entitled These cost generally 5 centimes, equiv­ descended the Piedmontese slope of the
alent to a cent in American money. Col dl Tenda toward Suneo on a tobog­
“Moredun, a Tale of the 1210.”
Tn .1 A. Farmer's book, entitled "Lit­ Just why this Is done it Is hard to see, gan.
erary Forgeries," It Is explained how, liecause persons entering a train can­
"Having reached the top of the moun­
on account of inaccuracies in dates and not very well avoid the conductor, w ho tain,” he tells us in letter thirty-eight,
the description of places, this novel Is always making trips to inspect the “we prepared for descending on the
could not have been written by Scott, carriages. If a person attempted to other side by the leze, which Is an oc­
but the authorship remains a mys- steal a ride in a carriage, he would casional sledge made of two pieces of
have small chance of getting away wood, carried up by the coulauts (local
ter.v.
The prince of literary forgers, a» re­ with it. If caught, he would have to guides) for the purpose. I did not much
gards quantity, also hails from France. pay a penalty of Just twice the fare relish this kind of carriage, especially
This was Vraln-Denis Lucas, the son between the point where he was dis­ as the mountain was very steep and
of a peasant, who after providing cer­ covered and the point where tickets covered with such a thick fog that we
tain classes of people with more or last were Inspected —New York Sun.
could hardly see two or three yards be­
less spurious |>edlgrees perpetrated one
fore us. Nevertheless our guides were
He Had No Choice.
of the most colossal literary frauds of
so confident and my companion, who
The wife of a dynamo tender went bad passed the same way on other oc­
the nineteenth century by successfully
palming off 27.320 forged latter» of an to a haberdasher's to buy a necktie for casions, so secure that I ventured to
clent and eminent men to M. Chasles, her husband. She selected a brilliant place myself on this machine, one of
a man of worldwide reputation as a red one. ready made, whereupon the the coulants standing behind me and
geometrician and astronomer, who paid young and Inexperienced salesman, the other sitting before me as the con­
Lucas nearly £8.000 for the collection. with compassion for the future owner, ductor. with his feet paddling In the
Lucas' falsa letters Included some was moved to remark:
snow. In order to moderate the velocity
“Excuse m*. missus, is this tie for
from the apostles, from Plato, Pliny,
of Its descent. ThuB accommodated, we
Lazarus and Mary Magdalene, And your husband?”
descended the mountain with such ra­
"It Is,” replied the woman.
yet M. Chasles did not consider ft ex
pidity that In an hour we reached Li­
“Don't you think he'd rather have
traordlnary that these worthies wrote
mon. Here we waited two full hours
on paper and In the French language! some other color? I'm afraid he won't for the mules which traveled with the
Ultimately his eyes were opened, and wear this red tie.”
“Oh, yes, he will!" said the woman servants by the common road."
Lucas was arrested and sentenced to
This Is simply tobogganing used as a
firmly.
“He'll have to—he's dead.”—
two years' Imprisonment.
practical means of transit for travelers
London
Answers.
The well known story of "Psalmana
in the Alps.—Chambers' Journal.
zar, the Famous Formosan." shows
The Irish Priest.
how easily the public can be Imposed
Heavy Soles For Walkey*.
upon lu regard to literature. This re­
Stephen Gwynn has said some­
"People who have to do considerable
markable Individual made his appear­ where excellently that the Irish priest walking on the streets during the sum­
ance In London early In the eighteenth possesses the secret of Irish life He
century, claimed to be a native of For does, and so entirely is the key to It mer time make a mistake by getting
light shoes with thin soles," remarked
mosa and wrote lu Latin his vary sin In his possesslou that I doubt if any
gular “Description of Formosa ” Ths genius, however great, could give an a well known shoemaker the other
book, which was a pure concoction, did adequate rendering of Irish life with­ day. "The thin soles do not protect
not deceive anybody, but for many out introducing the priest —Katherine the feet against the Intense heat of
the cement walks and the pavements,
years Its author "remained an object Tynan In Fortnightly Review.
and as a result the wearer suffers
of faith and charity to a considerable
much Take It in the European coun­
section of bls adopted countrymen."
A Discourager.
tries. the people wear thick soled shoes
He repented, however, of his fraud,
Miss Kreech— Some authorities be-
_
Between the two
and his life ended with the esteem of lleve that the practice of singing will the year around
many, while Dr Johnson spoke of him keep a |>erson from getting consump­ jttripa of leather is a strip of cork,
making the shoe lighter, but furnish
as "the beet man he ever knew.” But tion. "
Mr. “
Knox ~
Yes, but most autbor- Ing protection against wet or hot
who Psalmsnazsr really was remains It les belleve In "the _ greatest good
___ _ to
walks. Americans appear to have the
to this day a literary secret.
the greatest number— Philadelphia
wrong Idea that Is. they think that
Even more audacious |>erh»pe was ♦re as
thin, light shoes are the coolest. This
the attempt of an Irish clergyman
is true If they keep off the sidewalks
named Eccles, a resident of Bath, who
Hurt His Feelings.
toward the end of the eighteenth cen­
She-1 think Mr. Rymer, the minor or streets where the sun has heated
tury claimed to have written "A Man poet, felt hurt at a remark you made the surface, but you will find ft is
of Feeling." a work by Henry Mac ths other night. He—What did I say? not true if you have to travel around
ketule. often Included In the papular She You said there was only oue n city much during the heated portion
reprint* of today.
Shakespeare.—London Telegraph."
i of the day."-Dea Moines Register and
11
—------------
A
Color Gossip.
Have human beings, like animal*, •
tendency to clothe tbemBelves In color*
that reproduce the prevailing tone of
their surroundiugs? There 1« another
question for scientists who have dis
covered that different colors produce
differing effects on the health and dis­
position of Individuals. At all events
color conventions lu different parts of
the world are decidedly at a variance.
For example, while we use black in
mourning the Chinese wear white
gowns, white caps, white shoes and
white ties on their cues. The royal
color in Europe is purple-a hue of red.
not of violet, as often misrepresented.
In China the imperial color Is yellow,
and a certain shade of yellow may not
be worn by the common people, but Is
conferred upon high officials as a great
distinction.
Some Individual color preferences are
historical. Cleopatra loved yellow;
Mme. de Pompadour delighted In a
charming mixture of pink and blue;
Napoleon's first empress. Josephine,
wore the daring combination of black,
white and emerald green, while Eu­
gene Field boldly declares that—
Any color.. so long as It’s red,
Is good enough for me.
—Woman's Home Companion.
All Kinds of Confectionery, Pits
CONNIE DYE. Proprietor
WE
BUY
for «pot CHRh.
Mill nt home.
on i*<w
•hout Tra|.
cossful trapper
beautiful Robe*. Our Magnetic Bait and Decoy attract
Hidea and Fut» to ua and get highest prices. Änderte!
NEW YEAR’S GOODS
REDUCED PRICES'.
WE HAVE THE STOCK OF TIIE
MOOK CONFECTIONERY BAZAli.
Bargain Sales In Japan.
Even in placid Japan they have bar­
gain sales, but they conduct them on
very different principles from the
scrimmages we have over here. An
amusing American woman has embod­
ied her experiences of traveling alone
in Japan In a most entertaining vol­
ume Just published, whence may be
gathered a description of a sale at the
greatest trading house In Japan.
The goods are not flung about. They
are shown to advantage in locked
cases, and the heads of departments
ke“p the keys. Remnants, however,
are laid on mats. and. though there is
keen anxiety to secure bargains, per­
fect order and quiet prevail.
Babies toddle about quite comforta­
bly, others sleep on their mothers'
backs. However orderly and quiet
though the Jap1 nese bargain sale may
be, It is not fr»e from the shoplifter,
and it Is Interr sting to hear that the
detective is as necessary in the flowery
land as In Englund. The kimono sleeve
Is a useful receptacle for uncousldered
trifles.—London Ladies’ Pictorial.
Consisting of Books, Stationery, Dolls Di
Perfumery, Toilet articles, Toys, Pencils, cut
collar boxes, dtessing cases and all the stock«
to 33^ per cent below regular prices. We wi
close out this stock and now is a fine time to get
presents cheap.
•9 TODD & COMPAN
Opened Up for Busine
fa
SAPPINGTON & Cl
Giving Him a Chance.
Mrs. Wilson s husband was often
obliged to go to New York on business
and frequently <Jld not reach bls home
until the arrival of the midnight train.
Mrs. Wilson hid been In the habit of
sleeping peacefully at these times
without fear, but a number of bur­
glaries In the neighborhood during one
of her husband’s trips to New York
had disturbed her calm.
On the night of his return Mr. Wil­
son was stealing carefully up the front
stairs, as was his wont on such occa­
sions, so that his wife would not be
wakened, when he beard her voice,
high and strained.
“I don't know whether you are my
husband or a burglar.” came the ex­
cited tones, ‘but I am going to be on
the safe side and shoot, so If you are
Henry you’d better get out of the
way!”—Youth's Companion.
A Full bine of Groceries,
Float», Feed,
Tinuiare,
and Crockery
We CUant all Kinds of Produe«.
Call and See Us
gOlsen Building,
A Lesson In Language.
A regular Mr. Malaprop recently
came home trom his first visit to Eu­
rope. He grew enthusiastic about
Rome.
“It was fine,” he declared, “to go
Into them churches over there and see
the old ton.bs- cigarophagusses, they
call 'em. A »d then the Sixteen chapel
is great, and as for the Vaccination,
where the pope lives, well!"
But bls stock of compliments gave
out when he got to the subject of beg­
gars.
“I always refused them pennies,” he
said, “because, you see, I didn’t want
to set a bad prestige!”—New York
Times.
Notice to Hunters.
Notice is hereby given thht no hunting
will be allowed on n»v place from this
date. Persons who do so will be prose­
cuted to the full extent of the law.
k. M arolf .
Catarrh Cannot
“You charge me |2 for that little
ilsh of possum?” said the guest at the
crossroads hotel. "It's an outrage!”
“No, It uln't, stranger," replied the
landlord. “I wuz six nights ketchin’
that possum, an' when I kotched him
I kotched the rheumatism with him,
an’ I neud the money fer my doctor s
bill.”—Atlanta Constitution.
YOU LOO« FR
If 1M0UÉ11
be Cured
with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot
reach the seat of Hie disease. Catarrh is a blood
or constitutional disease, an i in order to cure it
you must take Internal remedies. Hall's
catarrh Cure is taken internally, and acta di­
rectly on the blood and m neons surfaces. Hall’s
Catarrh Cure is not a qu ck medicine. Jt was
prescribed by one of the best physicians in this
country for years an 1 is a regular prescription.
Ii is composed of the best tonics Known, com­
bined with the best blood purltiers, acting di­
rectly on the mucous surfaces. The perfect
combination of the two ingredients is what pro­
duces such wonderful res alls in curing Catarrh
Send for testinronials free.
F J. CHENEY «t CO., Prop»., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Take Hall's Familv Pills for constipation.
Not So Many,
They went in to dinner together. He
was very bashful, and she tried in
vain to drew him out. Finally she be­
Most of the Russian officers and sol­
gan to talk books, and he became re­
sponsive. “And Hugo?" she asked. diers nre delei ding Gen. Stoessel in his
“Do you like his style?” “Oh. yes,” he present trial for needlessly suriendering
replied; “1 find him intensely Interest­ aposition he was powerless to hold.
ing. I've read a number of tils books.”
There are ocinsii ns when discretion has
Then she asked, "Have you read 'Nine­
t he rdge on valor, and the incident at
ty-three?'” “No, I’ve—er—only read
three. I didn't know he had written so Port Arthur was one of 'hem.
many."
Reason For High Price.
STEVE
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Pl »I.K AT*
riepartineutoftliel»“™;
United stHte. Land
Notice 1« hereby «¡’en 'JJ'
DAVIDSON. of
State of Oregon, ha» *P?hf, , »
the act of Congress of
,
tended by act of AugiulJ. «¥■
sec io and N Je h•L ts/ad
will offer proof to «how that «•
morevaluble tor it» timber
agricultural purp ’ses, • •
Claim to said land before)"
Receiver, at Portland, Orewj.
the 13U1 day of Febniary, W*
witnease«
_ . . — nt-Mtw
J R. Hicks, of
man, of Nehalem. ’
Nehalem. Oregon ; Aufw
haleni, Oregon.
„i.**niaf
Auv and all P*’’*?* 5 m SS m »
above-described lands «re ***1,
claims iti this office on or k »*’
of February, 19(*
negsM»
A Doubter.
Little Helen—Ma. the minister told
me today that God gave me to you.
Mother- -Well, he did. my dear. Helen
►Then somebody Isn't telling the truth
I heard auntie tell Mrs. Watson that
the court gave me to you.—Detroit
Free Press.
Hit Ground.
He—Why are you going to marry
that old fossil? She-1 love the very
ground he walks on. He-I know, but
Isn't there any other way of getting
k?— London Opinion.
No Hindranca.
“May I have the next dance
Riehls?"
■Tm engaged, Mr. Galley."
"Oh. what's the odds? Why
narried "-Exchange
* nd
Dr.Kig*
New
FOR C» *
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Shuttle or a Single Thread (CSrtin AitcAJ
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Orange, Mau.
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Our guarantr never rum out
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Neerly »very Japanese follows
profession of his father.
CURE
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sv
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LES, or