Tillamook headlight., December 26, 1907, Image 4

TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, DECEMBER 26
A Bark For Barkar.
The Way That Sir Walter Scott
Was Basely Deceived.
CUNNINGHAM’S PROUD BOAST
Thi* Scotchman Claimed H* Could
Fool a Congr**» of Antiquarian*
With Hi* Own Writing* *nd Ballad*.
Other Famous Forger*.
The editor sat in bls easy chatr. Edl
tors always have easy chairs—In Ho­
tt.>n He thought he recognised the
handwriting on one of the envelop«.
He sighed.
“Another poem.” said he. reaching
for the waste paper basket. He open­
ed the letter. He was agreeably dis­
appointed. It was prose. It ran as
follows:
“A man named Barker had a dog
that barked, so he called It Barker be­
cause it barked and because his own
name was Barker. So the man was
Barker, and the dog that barked was
Barker
The man didn’t bark, al­
though his name was Barker. Barker
and Barker went for a walk, and
Barker barked—that is, dog Barker,
not man Barker In facL dog Barker
barked so much that man Barker said:
Barker, don’t bark so often. You nev­
er hear me bark.’ Just then man
Barker barked his shin on the bark of
a tree and barked like anything.”
The editor paused. There was a note
Inclosed, which ran. "Please send check
for Inclosed to me at 1001 Barker ave­
nue. city.” Then did the deus ex
machlna write, with a smile, “I have
received your Joke and will send check
—when my bark comes In.”—Judge.
“I could cheat a whole general as
lernblj of antiquarians with my orlgl
nah manner of writing and forging bal­
lads.” The njgn who made this proud
boast. Allan Cunningham, was a
youthful stonemason of Scotland, earn­
ing 18 shillings a week. That he was
no Idle braggart Is evident, says the
London Tit-Bits, from the fact that in
bls twenty-fifth year he perpetrated
one of the greatest literary frauds of
the nineteenth century.
Cunningham In spite of hl* bumble
role In life could write peetry the
beauty and pathos of which would
bring tears to the eyes of the reader.
Apparently, however, he possessed a
Legend of St. Winifred Well.
desire—characteristic of many rogues
A romantic legend hangs around St.
of literary genius—to make experts Winifred well. Cradocus. a neighbor­
look foolish, and when a Mr. Cromek, ing prince, smitten with the beauty of
who in 1809 was traveling In Scotland a Holywell damsel and roused to anger
with a view to making a collection of by her coyness, struck off her head as
genuine Scottish songs, asked Cunning­ she fled from his unwelcome attentions.
ham to assist him the stonemason The head, rolling down the hill, rested
conceived the Idea of writing ballads near the church, and from the spot the
and passing them off on Cromek as old present copious spring gushed forth
Scottish productions.
as the earth opened to swallow up the
These were included In ■ volume, assassin. St. Beuno, who was passing,
and, although most of the critics de- »picked up the head and, with a skill
teoted the fraud and it was establish which Is now lost to the medical pro­
ed beyond doubt that CunUlngham fession, restored the maiden, with only
wrote the ballads himself, they ac­ a slender white line on her neck as evi­
quired an immediate reputation, and dence of the miracle. But not only did
the genius of the writer led people to the well spring from the spot where
overlook the deception.
the head rested, but the moss on its
Nor was Cunningham the only forger brink was supposed to be possessed of
of Scottish ballads. Robert Surtees, a particularly fragrant smell, while the
the celebrated antiquary and historian, blood marks on the stones assumed
for some curious reason not only palm many beautiful tints on June 22, the
ed off on Sir Walter Scott as antique anniversary of the event. Today the
three ballads purely of bls own com­ well Is contained in a rectangular
position, but actually suffered them to building, and the water flows Into a
occupy a place in the "Minstrelsy of large basin In the shape of an eight
the Scottish Border.” with a fictitious pointed star.—London Chronicle.
account of their origin, and left the
novelist deceived to the end of bls
Handling Live Wires.
days.
Never handle an electric wire (lest it
Mention of the deception of Sir Wai be "alive”) with the naked hand, but
ter Scott reminds one that the famous use a nonconducting substance as a
novelist was the victim on several oc­ protector. Any good nonconducting
casions of literary forgers who used substance will supply protection.
his name to boom their own work.
Rubber—In form of gas stove tube
George W. Haerlng, who under the or water hose, could be thrown over a
pseudonym of Willibald Alexis came wire to pull it from Its connection with
to be one of Germany’s first novelists a live wire.
of the early part of the nineteenth
Porcelain—In form of a bit of com­
century, published his first book, "Wai mon crockery or a floor tile, hand plate
ladmor,” and announced it as a free for door, a stone Ink bottle.
translation into German of a novel
Olass—A stout bottle, a glass rod or
boldly ascribed to Sir Walter Scott. a pane of glass could be used to dis­
He afterward endeavored to excuse lodge a wire from Its connection with
himself on the ground that people had
a trolley wire or other current feeder.
been stupid enough not to see In “Wai
Wool—A woolen scarf, stocking, coat
ladmor” a satirical attack on the craze
or wrap.
then prevalent for Scott’s works.
Cotton—Any piece of cotton garment
In France several mimetic attempts or stout cotton twine.
on Scott have been made, notably "Al­
Silk—Scarf or other garment.
lan Cameron” (1832) and "Ayme Verd”
Any of these materials in goodly
(1842), which were both published In
Paris as being Scott’s, and "La Pythle thickness could be used to protect the
des Highlands,” Introduced to the band In removing a live wire or even
world as the work of the famous nov­ using an Instrument to cut it through.
elist in 1844 by Charles J. David, son
Spain's eanny Railroads.
of the famous French painter.
In Spain the railroads do not lose a
But perhaps the most Interesting of
all the attempts to trade on Scott's chance to make a little profit even in
name was that connected with the the case of the uontravelers. When
name of E. de Saint Maurice Cabany, you see somebody off in that country
director general of the Society of you must pay for the privilege. The
Archlvlstes of France, who In 1855 railroads all sell bllletes de anden,
startled the literary world with a new­ which are good for the platform only.
ly discovered novel by Scott, entitled These cost generally 5 centlmos, equiv­
alent to a cent in American money.
"Moredun, a Tale of the 1210.”
In J. A. Farmer’s book, entitled “Lit­ Just why this Is done it Is hard to see,
erary Forgeries." It Is explained how, because |>ersons entering a train can­
on account of Inaccuracies In dates and not very well avoid the conductor, who
the description of places, this novel Is always making trips to inspect the
conld not have been written by Scott. carriages. If a person attempted to
but the authorship remains a mys- steal a ride in a carriage, he would
have small chance of getting away
tery.
vflth it. If caught, he would have to
The prince of literary forgers,
gards quantity, also halls from France. pay a penalty of Just twice the fare
This was Vraln-Denls Lucas, the son between the point where he was dis­
of a peasant, who after providing cer­ covered and the point where tickets
tain classes of people with more or last were Inspected.—New York Sun.
less spurious pedigrees perpetrated one
H* Had No Choice.
of the most colossal literary frauds of
The wife of a dynamo tender went
the nineteenth century by successfully
palming off 27,320 forged letters of an to a haberdasher's to buy a necktie for
clent and eminent men to M. Chasles, her husband. She selected a brilliant
a man of worldwide reputation as a red one. ready made, whereupon the
geometrician and astronomer, who paid young and Inexperienced salesman,
Lucas nearly £8,000 for the collection. with compassion for the future owner,
Lucas’ false letters Included some was moved to remark:
"Excuse mi missus, Is this tie for
from the apostles, from Plato, rilny.
Lazarus and Mary Magdalene, And your husband?"
"It is." replied the woman.
yet M. Chasles did not consider ft ex
"Don’t you think he’d rather have
traordlnary that these worthies wrote
on paper and In the French language! ■ some other color? I’m afraid he won’t
1'lttmately tils eyes were opened, and i wear this red tie.”
Lucas was arrested and sentenced to I “Ob. yes. he will!” said the woman
firmly. “He'll have to—he's dead.”—
two years' Imprisonment.
The well known story of "Psalmana I London Answers.
zar. the Famous Formosan." shows'
how easily the public can be imposed
The Irish Priest.
Stephen Gwynn has said some­
upon iu regard to literature. This re
markable Individual made hl* appear where excellently that the Irish priest
ance In London early tn the eighteenth possesses the secret of Irish life He
century, claimed to be a native of For does, and so entirely Is the key to It
moan and wrote tn Latin his vary sin In his possession that I doubt if any
gular “Description of Formosa" The genius, however great, could give an
book, which was a pure concoction, did adequate rendering of Irish life with­
not deceive anybody, but for many out Introducing the priest—Katherine
years Its author "remained an object Tynan in Fortnightly Review.
of faith and charity to a considerable
section of his adopted countrymen.”
A Discourager.
He repented, however, of hl* fraud,
Miss Kreech—Some authorities be-
_
ami his life ended with the esteem of lleve that the practice of singing will
many, while Dr. Johnson spoke of him keep a person from getting consump­
as “the beat man ho ever knew." But tion Mr. Knox Yes, but moat author­
who Fsalmanazar really was remains ities believe In “the greatest good to
to this day a literary secret.
the greatest nnmber.” — Philadelphia
Even more audacious perhaps was ¡Tress
--- ------------------------
4
the attempt of an Irish clergyman
named Eccles, a resident of Katie who
Hurt Hi* Feeling*.
‘
toward the end of the eighteenth cen­
She-1 think Mr. Rymer, the minor
tury claimed to have written "A Man j poet, felt hurt at a remark you made
of Feeling." a work by Henry Mac i the other night lie What did I ; say?
kctule. often included In the papular, She — You
said mere
there wa*
was only ou.
.vw saiu
reprints of today.
------
Shakespeare.
—London Telegraph. >
HE” OR “SHE” ON THE SEA
Why a Vsesel Is Usually Spoken of as
Feminine.
Mr. Kipling, champion of the ro­
mance of machinery, has done much
to prove his case in his tales and po­
ems of the locomotive, the motor car,
the torpedo boat, the destroyer, the
submarine, the tramp steamer and the
ocean liner. Nevertheless both the
literary and seafaring world is still di­
vided on the question, "Is the steam­
ship of today as much a thing of beau­
ty, of romance, of lnspiratloff, as were
The famous clippers, the swift packets,
the stately Indiamen and the daring
whalers of a day gone by?”
Recently a group of travelers, look­
ing upon their mighty vessel at its
pier, noted the vast sides glistening
with fresh paint, the elegant appoint­
ments, the Immaculate decks and the
shining brasses, and one of them quot­
ed approvingly, “The liner, she’s a
lady.”
"Is she?" queried an older man.
“That’s what I doubt. At least If this
magnificent monster is feminine at all.
she’s more than a new woman or an
athletic girl even. She’s an amazon,
a giantess, a circus lady, fit to Juggle
cannon balls and lift men In her teeth.
“Every craft is ?JI11 conventionally
‘she.’ I know, but most of them are
losing their femininity. Now. a ship
In her movements, her style, her in­
dividuality, really was a lady.”
“I suppose you have heard the old
conundrum, ‘Why Is a ship referred to
as she?1 ” asked another of the par­
ty.
“I don’t remember it. What is the
answer?”
“ ‘Because she requires so much rig­
ging before she can go anywhere.' ”
“Well^on the whole, I think the ‘she’
Is fitting. Once behold a full rigged
ship under all her canvas, her gilded
figurehead courtesylng deep Into blue
sea and racing foam, her lofty main
truck swinging its splendid arc against
blue sky and racing clouds, and you
could never doubt it. But when we
change sails for steam we should
change sex and pronoun with them.
This ponderous leviathan ought plainly
to be ‘he,’ and, then, think of a bat­
tleship! Absurd!”
The youth, who had already quoted
Kipling smiled and completed bls quo­
tation:
The liner, she's a lady, and 'er route Is
cut an’ dried;
The man-o’-war's ’er ‘usband, an’ 'e al­
ways keeps beside.
“Good!” agreed the other. “It’s some­
thing to admit that the man-of-war Is
not a lady too!”
"Even before the days of steam,
wasn’t it odd that she used to be?”
asked a lady.
“No; the oddity was In saying ‘man’
of war,” was the reply. "But I sup­
pose that was to indicate her mascu­
line duties, much as when Maria The­
resa assumed sovereign command in
time of war her subjects. Instead of
acclaiming her queen, bailed her as
‘king.’ A ship of the line was quite
properly ‘she,’ and man-of-war Is an
official title, anyhow.”
"You’re mixing me dreadfully!" com­
plained a young girl. "How am I ever
to learn about ships when you begin
by telling me ‘he’ is ‘she’ and ‘she’ is
‘he?’”
It is an interesting question. Do
vessels lose their femininity with their
wings? Are they becoming mannish?
Is the liner not a lady?—Youth's Com­
panion.
Tobogganing In 1765.
It is interesting to note In Smollett’s
"Travels Through France and Italy”
that when the novelist was making an
excursion In March, 1765, from Nice
across the Maritime Alps to Turin he
descended the Piedmontese slope of the
Col dl Tenda toward Suneo on a tobog­
gan.
"Having reached the top of the moun­
tain,” he tells us in letter thirty-eight,
“we prepared for descending on the
other side by the leze, which Is an oc­
casional sledge made of two pieces of
wood, carried up by the coulauts (local
guides) for the purpose. I did not much
relish this kind of carriage, especially
as the mountain was very steep and
covered with such a thick fog that we
could hardly see two or three yards be­
fore us. Nevertheless our guides were
so confident and my companion, who
had passed the same way on other oc­
casions. so secure that I ventured to
place myself on this machine, one of
the coulants standing behind me and
the other sitting before me as the con­
ductor, with his feet paddling in the
snow, in order to moderate the velocity
of Its descent. Thus accommodated, we
descended the mountain with such ra­
pidity that In an hour we reached Li­
mon. Here we waited two full hours
for the mules which traveled with the
servants by the common road.”
This Is simply tobogganing used as a
practical means of transit for travelers
In the Alps.—Chambers' Journal.
of the day."—Dea Moines Register and
All Kinds of Confectionery
We make a
«IV
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b TFURS s HI hi
for spot cash. IO to 50% more money ior vou to A
util ut home. Write for Price List. Morket’R?W)rt
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H U NTER 8’ & TR APPER r '
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about Trappers Secrete. Deeoye. Traps, Game Laws R,,»*^ I»-—”
cessful trapper it » u regular Encyclopedia price 1'2
’’*•»totasM
beautiful Rohe,. Our Magnetic Bait and Decoy sttm’-U
Hides aud Furs to us aud get highest prices.
It a N
&
NEW YEAR’S GOODS
REDUCED PRICES',
&
WE HAVE THE STOCK OF THE
MOOK CONFECTIONERY
Bargain Sales In Japan.
Even In placid Japan they have bar
gain sales, but they conduct them on
very different principles from the
scrimmages we have over here. An
amusing American woman has embod­
ied her experiences of traveling alone
In Japan In a most entertaining vol­
ume Just published, whence may be
gathered a description of n sale at the
greatest trading house In Japan.
The goods are not flung about. They
are shown to advantage in locked
cases, and the heads of departments
ke"p the keys. Remnants, however,
are laid on mats. and. though there is
keen anxiety to secure bargains, per­
fect order and quiet prevail.
Babies toddle about quite comforta­
bly, others sleep on their mothers'
backs. However orderly and quiet
though the Jap1 nese bargain sale may
be, It Is not free from the shoplifter,
and It is Inter» sting to hear that the
detective Is as necessary In the flowery
land as in England. The kimono sleeve
Is a useful receptacle for uncousidered
trifles—London Ladies’ Pictorial.
Consisting of Books, Stationery, Dolls B
Perfumery, Toilet articles, Toys, Pencils, cd
collar boxes, diessing cases and all the stock n
to 33^ per cent below regular prices. \ye w
close out this stock aud now is a fine time to get J
presents cheap.
TODD & COMPANY
Opened Up for Busine
fa
SAPPINGTON & Cl
Giving Him a Chance.
Mrs. Wllsou s husband was often
obliged to go to New York on business
and frequently <|id not reach fils home
until the arrival of the midnight train.
Mrs. Wilson hid been In the habit of
sleeping peacefully at these times
without fear, but a number of bur­
glaries In the neighborhood during one
of her husband’s trips to New York
had disturbed her calm.
On the night of his return Mr. Wil­
son was stealing carefully up the front
stairs, as was Ills wont on such occa­
sions, so that his wife would not be
wakened, when he heard her voice,
high and strained.
“I don’t know whether you are my
husband or a burglar.” came the ex­
cited tones, 'but I am going to be on
the safe side and shoot, so If you are
Henry you’d better get out of the
way!”—Youth's Companion.
A Full bine of Groceries,
Floan, Feed, Tinatane,
and Crockery.
We CUant all Kinds of Produce.
Call and See Us
gOlsen Building, Âotî
A Lesson In Language.
A regular Mr. Malaprop recently
came home
-- from
.’—1 his first visit to Eu-
rope. He grew euthusiastlc about
Rome.
"It was fine,” he declared, “to go
Into them churches over there and see
the old ton.bs-cigarophagusses, they
call ’em. Aud then the Sixteen chapel
is great. and as for the Vaccination,
where the pope lives, well!”
But bls stock of compliments gave
out when ba got to the subject of beg­
gars.
“I always refused them pennies,” he
said, “because, you see, I didn’t want
to set a bad prestige!”—New York
Times.
Notice to Hunters.
Notice is hereby given that no hunting
will be allowed on mv place from this
date. Persons who do s<> will be prose­
cuted to the lull extent of the law.
h. M arolf .
Catarrh Cannot
Rsason For High Price,
"You charge me J2 for that little
ilsh of possum?” said the guest at the
crossroads hotel. "It’s an outrage!"
“No, it ain’t, stranger,” replied the
landlord. "I wuz six nights ketchin'
that possum, an' when I kotched him
I kotched the rheumatism with him,
I neod the money fer my doctor s
bill.'’—Atlanta Constitution.
A Doubter.
Little Helen—Ma. the minister told
me today that God gave me to you.
Mother -Well, he did. my dear. Helen
►Then somebody isn’t telling the truth
I heard auntie tell Mrs. Watson that
the court gave me to you—Detroit
STEVE!
YOU LOOK F«
If )ou oHata i
MMt
be Cured
The expdiicei
with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot
reach the seat of I he disease. Catarrh is a blood
or constitutional disease, an 1 in order to cure it
you must take Internal remedies. Hall's
catarrh Cure is taken internally, and acta di­
rectly on the blood and in ticous surfaces. Hall’s
Catarrh Cure is not a qu ck medicine. It was
prescribed by oneof the best physicians in this
country tor years an 1 is a regular prescription.
Ii is composed of the best tonics known, com­
bined with the best blood purltiers, acting di­
rectly on the mucous surfaces. The perfect
combination of the two ingredients is what pro­
duces such wonderful results in curing Catarrh
Send for testinfonials free.
F J. CHKNEY & CO , Props., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
Not So Many,
They went In to dinner together. He
was very bashful, and she tried in
vain to draw him out. Finally she be­
gan to talk books, and he became re­
Most of the Russian officers and sol­
sponsive. "And Hugo?” she asked diers are deleiduig Gen. StoesBe) in his
“Do you like his style?” "Oh. yes,” he present trial for needlessly suriendering
replied; "1 find him Intensely Interest­ a position he was powerless to hold.
ing. I’ve read a number of tils books.”
There ate oc< asir ns w hen discretion has
Then she asked, “Have you read ‘Nine­
t he edge on valor, nnd the incident at
ty-three?’“ “No, I’ve—er—only read
three. I didn’t know he bad written so Port Arthur was one of 'hem.
many.”
Heavy Sole* For Walkey*.
"People who have to do considerable
walking on the streets during the sum­
mer time make a mistake by getting
light shoes with thin soles,” remarked
a well known shoemaker the other
day. “The thin soles do not protect
the feet against the intense heat of
the cement walks and the pavements,
and as a result the wearer suffers
much. Take it in the European coun­
tries. the people wear thick soled shoes
the year around
Between the two
stripe of leather is a strip of cork,
making the shoe lighter, but furnish
Ing protection agalust wet or ho’
walks Americans appear to have the
wrong Idea that Is. they think that
thin, light shoes are the coolest. This
Is true If they keep off the sidewalks
<* streets where the sun has heated
the surface, but you will find It is
not true if you have to travel around
a city much during the heated portion
THE Next to NEW
BAR
Mason Hr g. Departi^t '
Color Goaaip.
Have human beings, like animal», a
tendency to clothe themselves in color*
that reproduce the prevailing tone of
their surroundings? There 1» another
question for scientists who have dis­
covered that different colors produce
differing effects ou the health and dis
position of Individuals. At all events
color conventions iu different parts of
the world are decidedly at a variance.
For example, while we use black in
mourning the Chinese wear white
gowns, white caps, white shoes and
white ties on their cues. The royal
color in Europe Is purple—a hue of red.
not of violet, as often misrepresented.
In China the imperial color Is yellow,
and a certain shade of yellow may not
be worn by the common people, but Is
conferred upon high officials as a great
distinction.
Some Individual color preferences are
historical. Cleopatra loved yellow;
Mme. de Pompadour delighted in a
charming mixture of pink and blue,
Napoleon’s first empress. Josephine,
wore the daring combination of black,
white and emerald green, while Eu­
gene Field boldly declares that—
Any color, so long as It’s red.
Is good enough for me.
—Woman's Home Companion.
THE WORLDS 6REATEST SEWING MACHINE
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log Prion»
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Catalog
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Contains points on
nltion, t he proper cars* •
etc., etc. Our attrscW w
Lithographed Hanger
where for ih cents_!n_*s*^
J. STEVENS ARMS A I®»
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T1MBZK L and A ct , Jvxt 5. '*A-
P cbucat OS.
Department oi th« !•“*
United Stele® Lend ume«^—
Notice I® hereby gi’«°
DAVIDSON, of Xehslem. C om ?
State of Oregon, hs» “P?
the act of Congrew of bw'V,
tended by act of
sec. io sod N h Nwli, *5“
will offer proof to »how tM< w
morevalub’.e tor it» -imYr. ..
agricultural purpose»,
'
claim to »aid land
Receiver, at Portland,
the «3tli day of February, 8*
witnesses
nrrton-
J. R. Hicks, of ?«eh81c,,L,„ lm »
mail, of Nehalem. Urefw.
J
Nehalem, Oregon ; Auguat
halem, Oregon.
Any aud all per wot cli
above-described lauds are
claims iu this office on or
of February, 19(^
naisi«»
L’ii
gl
S'
Free Press.
A cob «”*0" •
His Ground.
He—Why are you going to marry
that old fossil? She—I love the very
pound he walks on He—I know, but
Isn't there any other way of getting
•t?—London Opinion.
No Hindrance.
“May I have the next dance Mtaa
Pechlo?”
’
"I'm engaged. Mr. Galley.”
“Oh. wbat’s the odds? Why I’rn
narrled "-Exchange
NMriy every Japanese follows the
profession of his father.
lfyon want either* Vibrating Rhnttlo. Rotary
Bbuttleor a Mingle Thread fCAom ^tRcAI
Sewlug Machine write to
THE RE* MME IEWIRI MACHIRE COMPART
Orange, Mass.
Many sewint machine« are made to ael! regardless of
quality, but the New Home is made to wear.
Out guaranty never runs out
Nold by aathoriiMl dealers only
»ALB BY
E. T. HALTON, Agent
OUGHS sM
OLDS
THROAT andjU»®
LES, or