Image provided by: Tillamook County Library
About Tillamook headlight. (Tillamook, Or.) 1888-1934 | View Entire Issue (March 10, 1892)
r . i. » •MSWStàsM «(INCORPORATED*, -A.11 The only Set of Abstracts in the Countv ANTI-CLIMAX. A FULL AND COMPLETE SET OF* and tlie County Addies TILLAMOOK ABSTRACT CO., Tillamook, Oregon I Picnic Song. there was a strange brightness, but he did TITLED AMERICANS. The sklee are blue, the morning dew nut feel afraid. Bhlnea brightly on the grass. At last the priest closed bis book, and tbe There Are Many Subject» of Uncle S hiu The bob-o link end meadow lark congregation sighed with relief as he de I Who Hold Orders of Nobility. Salute uh as we pass. scended from tbe sanctuary and stood at the The air is cool ; all thoughts of sehoei It is well known tiiat the constitu Are vanished fur away. I head of the coffin. Then priest, coffin and tiou of tlie United States frowns upon Our minds from care are free as air silent congregation left the church, and went titles and orders of nobility, yet there On this our picnic day. through the narrow gate into the graveyard. are many native born Americans whose There a grave had been dug, next to that in ▲long the lane, a merry train, which the shipwrecked Portuguese had been dignities range from tlie humbler or With, song (,|id shout of glee. buried, and around the grave gathered they Whileaephyra make tbe green leaves shahs ders of knighthood to tlie exalted rank all. On every bush and tree. I of princes. And 1 am not now alluding From out bis house amid the boughs In the center stood the priest and the I to heiresses who have been raised to The frisky squirrel peeps grave diggers; next to them were old Xavier I His head, to view onr noisy crew. tlie peerage by marriage. These in Ilamel and his wife, Philomene, and between Then back to cover lea|S. them stood Felicie Pelletier. stances are already familiar to tlie Now o'er our heads the forest spreads “Poor Felicie!”*thought Edmond. “She is public. What is less known is the fact Its branches green and cool, very young, and little.” that many American men have won a Through leafy screen tho sunlight's sheen Slowly the old priest read the words of similar elevation by direct grant from Falls on the dimpling pool. Committal, and then the poor red coffin was This is the nook, where, from the brook a foreign crown. lowered into its place. Bright flowers beckon gay. Tlie famous scientist. Count Rum As the coffin disappeared from sight thun Put up the swing; tho baskets bring! der began to roll The distant hills, the ford, was a plain New England Yankee Hurrah for picnic day I great cape were lit up by flashes of light —Yankee Blade. named Thompson, who went abroad, ning, and far away the rain could be seen attracted general attention by hLs A Confusion of Soles. falling heavily. As yet, however, no breath i ! chemical discoveries, and was ennobled of itsfreshness reached the kneeling habitans. A superfluity of Soles has caused the A movement ran through the crowd as wind postmaster general and Representative by the king of Bavaria. In our own sweeps through standing grain. Women and Ray, of Pennsylvania, a great deal of days Edison lias been made a count, men looked up timidly; children looked and Pullman, of parlor car fame, a No one remembered such a drought. around boldly. Even the priest hastened his trouble. There has been a heated con-1 test over the postoffice at McKeesport, ! 1,ial''luis- by King Humbert, but neither “If old Gaspard had not died,” said Ed utterance, to finish before the storm should Pa., and a dozen or more candidates, of them cares to sport tlie title and it mond confidently to himself, “he could have break. matched it; but then he’s dead, so no one re Still the thunder rolled. It had not begun Tbe congressman to whom the matter *s on*.v alluded to in a jocular fashion members so bad a drought as this one.” ' suddenly, but slowly, majestically; at first was referred declined to make any rec- by their friends, The pope has con But no one heard Edmond; if any one had afar off, but ever coming nearer; not a sul ommendation, but telegraphed to some ferred the order of chevalier on several heard him, he would have paid no attention, len roar, not the ill humored crashing that of the leading citizens in whom he had Americans, the most notable being the for Edmond did not have all his wits. i some thunder is, but awful and grand. confidence asking which of the several millionaire, Joseph Brannigan, of The grass and the crops, which once had I The crowd rose; the priest’s voice was no candidates they preferred. The answer Providence. been green, were now brown; the earth was longer heard in the noise of the thunder. was short and decisive, and it read: "We Tlie fattier of Edgar Saltus was baked hard, and everywhere little cracks ran Perhaps he had stopped his prayers. in al) directions. The rough places of the | Then suddenly from the black cloud that wunt Soles." knighted by Queen Victoria, and lias The congressman had that morning re the right to call himself Sir Francis roads were all hidden under a thick mantle hung directly above the congregation burst a of dust, as kindly in its appearance as the flash of lightning—not the forked lightning ceived an application for tlie office from Saltus, but lias the good taste never to winter’s mantle, but less so in reality Unless that strikes down dwellings and crops and Edwin Soles, backed by letters testifying the rain came—well---- I men, but a great broad flash, so bright and to his good character and capacity, and exercise that right. Marmaduke Rich “God knows what we shall do,” said one glorious that all fell again upon their knees supposing him to be the Soles wanted, ardson. a well known New Yorker, was village elder to another. • and hid their faces in their hands; so won- informed tlie postmaster general, and the made a count by King Humbert, but “And he never tells us until he is ready,” droits and awful that they dared utter no nomination was sent in. never sports tlie title. There are many said Edmond. ; • . ,’ v ' sound, but remained silent and motionless. I Then there was a row. The whole of Americans now living abroad who are So the great drought lasted. Only two stood upright—Felicie and Ed not so modest A certain American Then Armand Hamel die<L It was not the mond. Felicie had kneeled, weeping on the McKeesport almost, including the men drought that killed him, No one knew exact 1 shoulder of Mme. Hamel, while the priest who wanted Soles, commenced to bom criminal, well known to tlie police here ly what had killed him. “1 cannot tell; it is gave back to earth all that had made her life bard the department with protests. It as Max Sliinbaum, and by numerous God’s doing,” the doctor had said. But he happy. Armand and she had been betrothed was not Edwin Soles, but Elmer Soles, oilier aliases, is now living in Belgium was dead; and after death comes the funeral. so long, their wedding day had been so near, his luicle. that they wanted. His papers, as Baron Sliinbaum. For the first time in months the sky was and now Armand was taken from her so which were very strong and voluminous, And a former Bostonian. Charles overcast; tho red sun ceased to glare upon the ' strangely and so suddenly. So while the had lieen on tile in tlie department for earth, and under the gentle clouds the grass < priest read the sacred sentences, and the several months when his nephew Edwin, Hamilton Fiske by name, made his ap and the crops seemed actually to revive a I people who had loved Armand stood about a bright and ambitions young man, pearance in Wuriemberg a year or two ago as file Count de Vernois, and for a little, and even to raise their heads again. I his grave, she whom Armaud had loved But no rain fell. kneeled and sobbed, hearing not at all the thinking there was no chance of the period enjoyed tlie highest favor of tlie uncle getting the appointment, thought murmured words of Mme. Hamel, hearing as “Does this mean rain?” oue villager would king, until lie was deposed by con ask of another as they met in the parish house, ' if they were spoken afar off the words of tbe he would go in for it, and sent down liis certed action on the part of the native | while their wives went at once into the priest. But now that even the priest was application. i terror stricken and cowering, Felicie stood church to pray. When the facts were discovered the uobihty. Perhaps the man addressed would answer, I up, no longer clinging to Armand’s mother, nomination of Edwin was withdrawn I In botli these cases it is not certain with a shrug, “The clouds hang low over the and looking up into heaven she spoke to tbe and Elmer named in his place.—Cor. that tlie titles wore genuine, although cape;”or perhaps he would go out upon the thunder. It ¡»quite possible that they may liave San Franrisco Chronicle. “My father,” she said, or so it seemed to gallery, whence he had just come, and look been acquired by purchase, an easy the lad who stood almost by her side. ing around at earth and sky and sea would Hail in California Three Inches Deep. step on the continent of Europe. Genu And, as if in answer, the thunder, which say, cautiously: “Who knows? Perhaps.” F. J. Baldwin, a fanner, who lives ine Spanish titles, for example, may be In either case the answer was satisfactory. had not ceased to nW, crashed yet again, and Every one hoped for rain; almost no one the echoes rolled back from the cape and died three miles east of Belotta, reports tiiat bought pretty cheap, tlie price ranging expected it; and the question was asked slowly away in the distance, and all was a heavy hail storm visited that section from 30,000 francs for a countship to rather to pass the time until the funeral ser- silent. And Felicie spoke again, but the lad Saturday aftenioon, coming from the 800 fora knightship. In Italy, the de \ ice should begin than because Eugene Da- could not hear what she said,and she bowed sonth and moving northeasterly into cayed nobility are entitled to adopt sylva thought that Joseph Bilet could read her head. Calaveras county. The stonii com- Again the thunder answered, a majestic menced at about 8 o’clock and lasted one strangers as their sons for a monetary the weather signs better than he himself. peal, yet not to make those who heard it No one asked Edmond, but he of all those and a half hours, when three inches of consideration, and tlie adoption carries present said nothing doubtful. To Eugene afraid. But Felicie said nothing more; she hail was lying on the ground. The storm, witli it such titular dignity as would lie he said at once, “It will rain; the grass is stood with her face turned to the dark sky, which wils apparently three or four miles the birthright of a real son. getting ready for a shower.” But no one as if in expectation. Tlie consideration, as n rule, is not Then came a blinding flash of lightning. wide, was attended by heavy thunder heard him; at all events, no one paid any at For an instant only dared the boy look; then and lightning. There seemed to be a large. A New York journalist, now tention; he was only half witted. From the gallery in front of the parish he clapped his hands over his eyes and fell continual peculiar heavy rumbling in the living abroad, is said to liave purchased house one could see many things. Directly upon his knees. But in that instant he saw clouds that could easily be heard in the the title of "Prince Chialdini" for a in front was the road white with dust, filled Felicie standing in the midst of the glory of intervals between roars of thunder. Old mere trifle of seventy live dollars. To with the caleches and planches and quat’- the great brightness, smiling, and above her settlers say they never saw anything like conclude, an instance of titled Ameri roues which had brought the farmers and was a great rift in tbe clouds. Further than the storm in this state. Cattle ran be can citizens born on American soil is villagers to the church. Across the road ever before could the lad see on high; then fore the storm seeking shelter, but be were fields, and beyond the fields hills, cut he presed his hands to hi3 eyes, and sank came bewildered and ran wildly about afforded by tlie children of the Mar chioness Lanza, tlie novelist, all of into terraces by great glaciers melted ten upon his knees, and cried aloud in terror. When the lightning had become dim, and until they were tired ont, when they laid whom are members of tlie Italian no thousand years ago. On the right was the the thunder had died away, came the rain. down and submitted to tho .pelting. Tho church, with its tin roof and its spires; and bility.—New York Epoch. the priest’s house, with two willow trees in 1 In torrents it fell, and all sprang up, forget- storm extended into Amador county, and front of it, and the convent and the grave | ting Armand almost and Felicie, thinking all along the course the hail was as large Brother» Being Shaved. yard. On the left, Liehind tbe poor brown ' only that the drought was broken, and re- as small marbles.—Stockton Indepen A Maine family consists of six broth trees, was tbe seigneury; and behind the I joicing. But when they saw Felicie they re- dent. ers so exactly alike that no one but house, across the river—-a mile wide when the ! membered everything, and stood still, as if Lilac» and Handcuff*». their closest friends can tell which is tide was in, barely two yards when the tide i abashed. Felicie stood at the head of the grave. Her The other day, as a royal train of Penn which. One day they happened to be was out—rose the cape which gave the town its name, and seemed to protect the town it hands were clasped before her; her face was sylvania parlor cars pulled out of the in a strange town and ail wanted a lifted up, and she was smiling. What she named. Jersey City depot, a gentlemanly man shave. One of them went into a bar Over the cape hung black, threatening looked at, wl at she w, no one could tell. The priest approached her almost timidly carrying a huge bunch of lilacs made his ber shop, wils shaved and paid tlie cus clouds, but so little did they indicate rain way from the rear of the train to the that the farmers’ eyes more readily sought “Felicie,” he said, but she made no answer. foremost car—the smoker. Pressing al- : tomary ten cents. Five minutes later apparently tlie same man came bock the church and the priest’s house than they I “Felicie,” he said, more loudly And again, ! more loudly still, “Felicie.” I most upon liis heels was a rather rough into the shop very wratliy, liis beard did the rock and its low hanging crown. I As if he feared that she had been struck looking fellow making the same journey. In course of time a constant succession of bristling with a three days' growth. remarks and replies on the subject of the dead, the priest laid his hand on her arm. It happened that as 1 raised my eyes I He swore that he had not been half She moved, and he gave a sigh of relief. saw behind that bunch of lilacs a pair of weather had emptied the parish house of all I “Felicie, come with me,” he said; but the shining steel handcuffs connecting the shaved, and demanded that the work its male inmates, the women and children had already gone into the church. The men • girl moved not, nor made as if she heard him. gentlemanly man's wrists. It would be be done over. The people moved nearer and looked at her, Tlie astonished barber apologized stood on the gallery in front of the house, al interesting to know whether it was tlie most in silence; no one cared to talk about aimost with terror. convict's idea or that of his keeper to and complied, but judge of bis horror At last the maiden lowered her eyes and the errand which had brought them together; looked toward the priest; he looked her full put flowers to that strange use. But to when not ten minutes later his custom so they stood waiting for something in anx my mind there was something very er came back madder than ever, his in the face, and his cheeks paled. ious impatience. “Felicie,” he said imploringly, “do you see beard still showing on Ids face, and de Suddenly from the steeple of the church me? Do you hear me»” But still she made poetic about it.—Julian Ralph. manded another shave, Again the rang out sharply the little bell, and at the Singing Mice on Shipboard. barber, after some protest, complied, sound the men started, and crossed them no “ answer. W’hat is this?” murmured the priest, About three months ago J. F. Chelton, but when liis man returned the fourth selves. Then, as if the expected had hap hoarsely; and Edmond, the half witted boy, of Woods Cross Roads, Va., captain of time it was too much. pened, they moved toward the church, the answered him: oldest man leading the way, the younger men "See here!" he cried, “if you’re try “Father,” he said, touching the priest’s the schooner Anna Lloyd, captured a struggling to avoid bringing up the rear arm, “Felicie has seen God, and heard him singing mouse in the cabin of his vessel ing to sell me some patent hair raiser Again the bell rang out. It was tolling. while off Gloucester Point, Va. The speak, and spoken to him. I do not think, Out of the cloud of dust, along the narrow, father, that she can see you or hear you; little fellow was caged, and he sang I'll take your whole stock, but if you worn road, came the yellow hearse, open to your face is not bright enough for her eyes merrily at all hours, his notes being are an escaped museum freak either the sky, bearing the red coffin, dust white to see; your voice is not loud enough for her somewhat like the subdued trill of a you've got to get out or I’ll liave to now, wherein slept Armand Hamel. Behind I canary bird. Thsrsday another musical close this shop." hear.” the hearse, in the town’s only two horse to The The fifth and sixth brothers had to priest turned to the lad suddenly, and vehicle, brought out on great occasions like tbe boy stepped back abashed; but the priest mouse was caught in tlie cabin by Capt. pay for their shaves.—Lewiston Jour weddings and funerals, rode the mourners— held out bis hand, and tbe boy took it and Chelton, and was caged with the one previously captured. They keep up a nal. Xavier Hamel, Philomene bis wife, and little it» Felicie Pelletier, the maiden who was to have held Where Carlyle and Hunk In Differed. “My children,” said tbe priest, and at his lively concert at all hours of the day and been Armand’s wife. Had Armand lived but words the crowd knelt in wonder on the night.—Baltimore Sun. Thomas Carlyle was a devotee to the a month longer, Feliciehad been their daugli earth, no longer dry; and tbe priest spoke: pipe, and he vainly sought to break otf ter; now she was neither their daughter nor "The Lord hath spoken in the thunder to Bl,hop Potter De»erll>e«l. their son’s widow. Bishop Potter is one of the handsomest the fascination. He is said to have Fphcie; he bath appeared to her in the ligbt- The men halted awkwardly at the church n ng. What ears have beard the Lord, them men in the city when he is arrayed in smashed no less than thirteen "cutties ’ door, and removed their hats as the heirse hath he sealed, what eyes have »een the on tlie hearthstone of his Ecclefeehan drew up. The priest stood on the steps, mis lx»rd, them hath he closed; what tongue has evening dross. He dws not look much cottage, witli the vow that lie would sal in band, and placing himself before the s!«.ken with the Lord, that hath he silenced. older than he did twenty years ago or smoke no more But as sure as the coffin began the office of tbe dead. Most of Not on earth can those ears hear, those eyes more, when he was rector of St. John's church. Troy. N. Y. The Potters are a next day came lie would be found puff the men without the church and the women hp . that tongue speak. within repeated audibly their prayers: ■ Listen, my children, Felicie bath beard pale faced, clean ent race, of bilious tem ing at a new one “Deliver me, Lord, from them that hate God, and she is deaf; she hath seen him in perament, and. as a rule, long lived. “Tobacco smoke," be writes, "is the me. that I be not swallowed in the abyss, hi* glory, and she is blind; she bath spoken They naturally take pnde in their fam one element in which by our European that the pit wherein they have cast me with him, and she is dumb. But it is no ily, for they have had brains a-plenty and manners men can sit silent together «lose not above me.” And again: “Lord gn< f to Felicie that this is so, for the words means to cultivate them. Perhaps no without embarrassment, and when no God, king of the ages, thou alone art full of vf the ix»rd have comforted her inner sorrow kindness; hear me, O Lord, whose pity is al and unde all earthly words unfit for her to name in the country is lietter known than man is bound to speak one word more that of Potter. — Exchange. ways ready to pardon; guard my soul, and hear, bis glory makes dark all mortal things than lie has virtually ami actually got deliver it.” to say." to her; tbe tongue that has spoken with God The sale of the interesting original Meantime tbe mourners had entered tbe must speak with no mortal man. Blind, then, Ruskin, however, who aped Carlyle in church, and were making their way to their is Felicie, deaf and dumb; yet pity her not, manuscripts of Charlo. Dickens and so many things, lie« never imitated him seats. They walked slowly, delayed rather my children, for tbe hand of the Lord is Wilkie Collins, with some autograph A _ great pity, for Carlyle found by the emotions of the girl than by any weak upon her geutly; he hath honored her above programmes of private theatricals in in this. ness of the older mourners. At last they all women, save only one. and today, more which both took part, will begin in Lan- tiiat it tranquilized irritability. Why reached their places, and the burial service than ever before, is »he happy, today is she don in June. The entire original manu should not Ruskin have found the began In verv truth Felicie.” scripts of "No Name." "The Moonstone" samel Indeed Ruskin's gravamen All this time the clouds that bad encom In silence the people heard tbe pne»t, and and "The Woman in White" of Collin« ■gainst tlie cigar is that it enables so passed tbe cape came nearer, and more and when be bad spoken tbe »«enadiction in silence more assumed the character of rain clouds. they went to their homes, thinking mneh. «nd the manuscripts of some of Dickens' many people to paw their time happily in idieness. Truly, a blessing instead poem» are in this collection. The cape loomed up, and the miles of water Then old Xavier Hamel and hi. w.fe of a curse I—New York Sun. between it and the church seemed but yards, mens took Felicie to thpir home, and »be wm •o near it seemed to be. Edmond put oat bis as their daughter; and tbe people thought of The West End electric railway sta Aquamarine, n »ort of beryl. I» plen hand, as if to touch the great rock; then b» her as one unhappy, but as one honored great tion in Boston is to have 18 engines of looked at tbe sky and went into tbe church. ly by God and chosen out to have her sorrows 1,000 horse power each. They sre to be tiful in New England. The richest Everything was strangely still Tbe voice turned to joy. But Felicie neither triple compound, with cylinders 81, M colored gern» of this kind come from of the priest sounded as if it came from a heard nor >poke again on earth, andI in God s .nd 52 tnche. diameter. The >ower is Royalston, M m « Though «mall they great distance The children, usually reat- time she fell adeep, to meet. Ar’ *at quietly. Tbe darkneos of an ap mand.—R. N. Trevor in Harperj^J»<jy_^ , raarnttrssi by two belts for each an- proaching storm pervaded tbe church; the I walked * city street, and suddenly I saw a tiny lad. The winter wind Howled fitfully, and all the air u!>ove The clear cut outline of the buildings tall Seemed full of knives t!i r cut against the face An awful night among the unhoused poor! The boy was tattered; both his hands were thrust For show of warmth within his pocket holea. Where pockets had not been for many a day Oue trouser leg was long enough to hide The naked flesh, but one, in mockery A world too short, tbo' he was monstrous small. Left bare and red his knee -a cruel thing! Then swelled my selfish heart with tenderness Anti pity for the waif: to think of one So young, so seeming helpless, homeless, too, Breasting the night, a shiver with the cold! Gaining a little, soon I passed him by My Angers reaching for a silver coin To make him happier, if only for An hour, when—I marveled as I beards Ilis mouth was puckered up in cheery wise, And in the very teeth of fortune's frown He whistled loud a scrap of some gay tunei And I must know that l . i my ready tears Fell on a mood more merry than mine own. —Richard E. Burton in Harper's Magazine • I Are Dog» Airaid t»l "Perhaps you are not aware." said a young lawyer to tlie serilie. "that dogs I and horses are as much afraid of ghosts and other uncanny or mysterious things as are tlie most timid of tlie human race. I proved it one time on two dogs, at any rate. Not long after tlie war tlie negroes wive so bad about our place in Kentucky that it was witli difficulty that we could keep our belongings on our place. Every other method having failed I finally hit upon tlie plan of frightening them by appearing before them dressed as a ghost is said to till bilitate itself. "Of course, tile negroes were sue i cessfully frightened away from us. but upon one ocoasion I also frightened our two watch dogs as badly as any negro ever was frightened by ghostly appari tion. Tlie dogs were tierce fellows, and would allow no stranger or strange tiling on tlie place, but one moouliglit night they came upon me in spectral attire. Tlie dog that first caught a glimpse of me just humped up bis baek until all four of his feet covered not more than six square inches of Ken- ! tucky soil. Ilis eyes stood out and his hair stood up. and lie began moving backward, never for an instant taking liis eyes off my figure. "His companion came up. went through tlie same movement, and botli began backing cautiously from me. And as long as I could see them they i put distance between us in that way. A few moments later 1 heard them bark ing at home, half a mile distant. They had taken refuge under tlie house, and it was four days before we could coax them out again."—Charleston Demo crat. A Laconic Correspondence. It is said that tlie celebrated German theologian Schleiermaclier was rather inclined to save than to spend money. He was at one time quite ill, and sent for a renowned physician, Dr. Grafe, who was court physician at tlie time, and whose son became tlie great oculist. Schleiermaclier recovered, and when fully restored to health lie sent a polite note to Dr. Grafe. expressing his grati tude and inclosing four louis d'or, beg ging tlie physician to accept this small sum as a token of Ills appreciation of tlie services which had been rendered him. The following day tie received Ills gold piecesagain, accompanied by the following laconic note from tlie great physician, "Tlie poor I cure for noth ing; the well to do pay me according to tlie regular •medicine tax'; tlie rich reward me lavishly, according as it suits their pleasure I" Thereupon tlie clergyman sat down and sent Dr. Grafe this still more la conic answer "Tlie four louis d’or are received back with gratitude. Tlie poor Schleier macherl"— Exchange. A RomnainbulHt tlie Thief. NE Ml. White throngh the azure, The purple blueneM Of Neml's waters The »Wimmer goeth. Ivory white, or wun white as roses, I Yellowed and tanned by the nuns of the Orient, Ilis strong limbs sever tHe violet hollow». A »hiunner of u kite fantastic motions Wavering deep through the lake a« he swim meth; Like gorse in ’ho sunlight tlie gold in his yel low hair. Yellow with Bunlighl and bright as with dew- i drops. Fpray of the waters flung bark as he tonseth liis head in tlie sunlight in tlie midst of bis laughter. Red o'er ids body, blossom white mid the blue ness. And trailing behind him in glory of scarlet, A branch of the red berried asb of tbe moua- I tains. White as a moonbeam Drifting athwart The purple twilight The swimmer gooth. Joyously laughing. With o’er bls shoulders, Agleatn In tho sunshine. The trailing branch With the scarlet berries. Green are tbo leaves ami scarlet the berries. White are the limbs of the swimmer beyond them, Blue the deep heart of the still, brooding lake- let. Pale blue the hills In the haze of September, Th» high Alban hills in their silence and beauty. Purple the depths of the windless heaven. Curved like a flower o’er the waters of NemL — William Sharp in Academy. A Horse's Joke. H»r<l to Swallow. The teller of “tall stories” generally finds his rebuke awaiting him in an in telligent company On one occasion, when several physicians had met, the conversation ran to the subject of the extraordinary things which a human being might swallow and still live. The familiar stories about swallow ing silver dollars, sets of false teeth, and so forth, had been related, when Dr. Longbow began to speak. "Two years ago,” he said, “I was called in great haste to attend a car penter in my town, though the message said that the man was Iwyond doubt already dead, for he had, while holding a large gimlet in ilis mouth at liis work, suddenly been taken with a lit of hic coughs and swallowed the gimlet. "But when I arrived at the man’s ! house I found him very comfortable. The gimlet, gentlemen, gave him no trouble at all to digest.” There was silence for a moment. Presently one of the other doctors re ma rked: “With you for his physician, Long- bowk the man was lucky that it was only a gimlet that he undertook to swallow.** “What do you mean?*’ “Why, if he had tried to swallow one of your stories it would have choked him to death.” —Youth s Companion. THE SWIMME.; I A Mansfield (O.) doctor is the owner of a horse which has a fondness for playing practical jokes. Recently the physician drove out into tlie country to answer a sick call. Arriving at his des tination lie tied Ills horse to a post, near which hung a rope attached to a large bell used as u dinner signal for em ployee on tlie place, and went inside. Suddenly tlie bell rang The doctor and Hie man of the house both looked out, but could see nothing except tlie horse. They had hardly turned away, however, before tlie boll rang again, and again they looked but could see nothing. This wins repeated, and the dootor determined to solve the mystery; bo at the third ring, instead of going into the house lie stepped out and hid in tlie yard. He kept liis eye on tile bell rope, and in about a minute was surprised to gee Ins horse lift up his head, smile sly ly, and give the ro,ie a good, hard tug. When tlie physician sprang out and confronted tliehorse tlie animal instant ly tried to put on a look of innocence, but was unsuccessful.—Boston Herald. Jewels Found I ii New York. 1 Near Lake George in New York state great quantities of small and very pure nick crystals are gathered, specimens, botli natural ami cut, being mounted in jewelry and sold to tourists. Many of them are whiter than any diamond ami frequently as brilliant and trans parent. A specimen witli a drop of water inclosed will sometimes sell for as much as $30. Certain mines of them at Little Falls. N. Y., are worked by tripping tho rock until a hollow sound is heard, indicating a cavity, and within such cavities the crystals are discovered, sometimes as many as a bushel. In one cavern years ago were found several tons of these quartz crys tals, tlie sides of tlie cavity, thirty feet long and six feet high, being complete ly covered witli them. Tlie sale of such ston.■» in Hint region amounts to fully $10,000 per annum.—Washington Star. Aii Old Custom Done Away Willi. One of tlie thing»a good many of us were taught at the npraery table waw to use a bit of bread, a “pusher/’ most children call it. when something on our plate that ought to go on a fork would Dot. This Wits almost aa wtcred a tenet of table manners as that bread should not be bitten from the slice. It is some thing of a blow to road from presuma bly good authority that this is a bar barium almost as bad as eating In one’s gloves. People who [jerftfat in breaking down good established laws should at least offer some good substitute; if the woman who says we must not scurry round after some slippery peas or elu sive spinach with a morsel of bread, as a valuable assistant tells us what we must do, all will l>e forgiven.—Her Point of View in New York Times. How Two Mwn-liantw Chose. I I TALKED TO DEATH. Her Husband Rees That the Fact Is Plain ly Set Forth on Her Gravestone. Undertakers and tombstone men often meet with strange experiences. This is well illustrated by an incident that oc curred at tlie marble works of Frazier & Leffel. of this city A tall, lank man, witli a t ill, narrow head and a positive expression on a well cut countenance, entered tlie aforementioned establish ment and intimated to the business manager tiiat he wanted a tombstone for liis wife Manager leffel, with one eye to business and Hie other adjusted to a [iro|H>r expriswion of synqiathy in I liis patron's bereavement, proceeded to show him tlie large array of designs in his establishment. A suitable stone was soon found, and here tlie work liegan. Ilis patron of positive eouiiti'iiauee had more to do with Hie inscription than witli tliestyle of stone. It must be just so. lie must have cut on it just what he wanted and as lie wanted it Ho was willing to pay liis money for what he wanted, but didn’t want any assistance to say what that was. The undertaker tried in vain to suit him, but to no avail. He couldn't catcli the spirit of his dream. There was something in this case tiiat outreached the rigid expe rience of many years. Finally the tall, lank patron said: “Give me your pencil and I’ll tell you what 1 want." And here it is: “Kiss me and I will go to sleep. Alice, first and last wife of Thomas Phillips, Talked to death by friends." No date of birth, no date of death is given. The age is omitted. Thomas had but two [>ur[Mises in his mind—one wils to let tlie world know that he would never marry again and tlie other was to let it know tiiat liis wife had been talked to dentil liy tlie neighbors. "There, now, I want it just as I write it; nothing more and nothing less. I propose to pay for just what I want." Being assured Hint Ilis wants would lie strictly complied witli, lie [laid for tlie monument and, giving directions where to place it, departed with the satisfied air of a man who felt tiiat he had got even witli somebody. This stone is an actual fact, and stands today in a cemetery near Boul der, in Clinton county. Ills.—Centralia Cor. Chicago Inter Ocean. Gold In tlie Center of the Earth. Gpologists nre agreed that the interior of tlie earth is lurgely composed of metals. Whereas tlie surface matter of tlie planet weigh« only about two and one half times as much as water, it is known as a fact that toward tlie center tlie average weight of tilings is eleven times that of water. Tills is due to tlie circumstance that while tills sublunary orb was cooling and condensing tlie heavier particles sought tlie middle. Therefore it is probable that the great mass of the sphere is iron. Hut there are other metals more heavy than iron, and these would nat urally form an accumulation immedi ately about Hie center of tlie globe. Among them may be mentioned, as most important, gold. Geologist Gilbert, of the geological survey, said tlie other day that he would rather expect to find a vast accumulation of gold at that point than anywhere else, his notion being that such of the yellow metal os is found on the surface of the earth is only an accidental detritus. However, there are two or three sub stances known even more weighty than gold, and one of them is plutinum, which has doubled in market value within the hurt year or two, owing to tlie increased cost of prixluction.— Washington Star. Chung»» In tho Tea Trade. It Is not Ceylon and Assam only that are undermining tlie once undisputed sovereignty of China as a tea exporting country Japan also finds iier tea ex ports rapidly increasing, while those of tier great continental neighbor are con stantly declining Tlie increase ap pears to be progressing at a rate of more than three mid a half millions of pounds weight per annum. It seems to be a common quality of tea—at least such is tlie exported arti cle—nn<l tlie demand ap[H>ars to be practically contined to tlie United States. Russia, according to Consul Troup, will have nothing to do with tlie ‘‘Japan Congous." ami all Europe takes in a year only some 300,000 pounds. On tlie other bund, Canada buys annually upward of 8,000,000 and tlie United States nearly lit,000,000 pounds.—Ixmdou News. A merchant refused to hire an a clerk a young man whose pantaloon», he no ticed, were worn at the knees and neat, because he judged that a good clerk would not thus wear hi» clothing. In another case a merchant chose from twenty applicants a boy who stopped to wipe his muddy feet before entering his office, and whoso (Inger nails were clean. An Unlucky Combination. ‘‘It is attention to little things that A man, a cow and a gun in a Con makes a good clerk," tlie merchant necticut posture. Tlie man intent on ■aid. — Youth's Com [Minion. woodchuck». The cow quietly chew- ing her cud The gun ‘‘lying low," An Odd Hair Wreath. Mins Hattie J Chippa, who Ilves both hammers cocked, in the grass. near Budd's Lake. N J., has fash That was an ap|Hirently innocent and ioned portions of hair from the hetuis harmless combination; but it came of over 2,000 individuals into a large near proving the death of the man. wreath of over 1.000 Hower» and leave«. Tlie cow, prompted no doubt, by bo This unique oddity is composed of hair vine curiosity, approached tlie gun. of every shade and color known to the The man took a stick to the cow. Tlie Call, for Oomr.tle Animal. anthropologist. The young artist spent gun, stepped oil by tlie cow, discharged In controlling the movements of do over a year in collecting the locks of its load into tlie man's right leg, which ■nestle animals by Hie voice, besides hair before commencing work on tlie the surgeons afterward amputated.— words of ordinary import, man uses a wreath.—St. Ixmia KepubUo. Forest and Stream. variety of peculiar terms, calls and in A Wsltr.«.' n.tor». articulate sounds—not to include Th« Ol<l Tim«». Curran once no fur forgot himself as whittling— which varies in different Old Man-Talkin bout circuses, nuth- localities In driving yoked cattle and In can come up to th’ ole fashioned oue to tell a witness, whose evidence he wished to discredit, tiiat tilers was harnessed horses teamster» cry "get ring circus, with one clown. lip" (usually ‘‘git ep"). “click, click" Young Man Only one clown I It scoiindrelism reflected in his face. "I (tongue against the teeth), “gee." must liave been to enjoyable.—Good was never before aware that my face made such u good mirror." retorted tlie "haw," “whoa" or "wo," "wliash," News. "back," etc. All ot the above are other. Two R»»rta need in English »peaking countries. In A somnambulist story comes from Georgia. The ■omnambtili»t my»ten ously lo»t four suits of clothing, one after the other, and his son. unknown to the father, thought lie would sot a trap for the thief. Invariably the thefts were committed at night. So the son hid himself in the room. The thief came, but it proved to lx* the father himself. He got out of bed, dremed himself, walked down to the river, ami after placing his garments in tho hoi low of a tree, took a swiiu; finishing, he couldn't remember whore he had put his clothing, find so returned home without it. all this while being asleep, and even not awakening on tumbling into bed strain It was in this manner that he had lost all four suits. -Phila- dolphin I »edger 1