Page 16
The INDEPENDENT, January 20, 2011
Some ideas given for learning to keep your power around bullies
by Robert Evans Wilson, Jr.
(www.jumpstartyourmeeting.com)
“Baby Bobby! Baby Bobby!”
The words stung and Mike
knew it – he could read it in my
face.
“Sticks and stones may
break my bones, but names will
never hurt me!” I yelled back.
Mike just laughed; he knew I
didn’t believe it. Bolstered by
figuring out how to push my
buttons, he continued to tor-
ment me as I walked home
from school.
“Baby Bobby! Baby Bobby!”
The charge had an element
of truth because I had cried
several times in first grade, but
I was now in fifth grade and had
long outgrown my fear of
school. I recalled the menacing
teacher who pounded her pad-
dle on our desks and threat-
ened to spank us if we kept
talking in class. She made sev-
eral kids cry, but I was the one
who got the reputation. It wasn't
fair, but four years later I was
still ashamed of my crying and
Mike knew it. He continued the
harassment.
“Baby Bobby! Baby Bobby!”
He stuck his face right in
mine and stated deliberately,
“Baby...Bobby!”
I punched him in the nose,
and suddenly he was the one
crying. I had to fight several
more boys that year before the
name-calling stopped. It was
not the solution I wanted, but it
worked. It took me years to
learn that the problem was
mine; that I was giving away my
power every time I reacted to
taunting and teasing. And, it’s a
problem that doesn’t go away
with childhood.
Insecure adults wanting to
feel superior will seek out your
weaknesses and attempt to
make you feel bad. Several
years ago, I was invited to
speak on Creative Thinking in
Business to a civic club lunch-
eon. During the meal, a man at
my table sneered, “Sooo,
you’re a motivational speaker.
Well, motivate me!” His tone of
voice said it all – the difference
between him and a school yard
bully was the accompanying,
“Na Na Na Na Nah.”
I was shocked by the un-pro-
fessionalism, and thought, “I’m
getting heckled, and I’m not
even on stage yet.” So, I
laughed and said, “Dude, no-
body can motivate you, but
you.”
He shocked me a second
time by apologizing after my
presentation. He explained that
the club had a new speaker
each week who tried to sell
something, and that most of
them were boring. To his sur-
prise, he said he found my
presentation entertaining and
motivating.
If we give in to bullies, they
can rob us of our confidence
and our motivation. Lately, I’ve
worked with my children on
how to not give their power
away when kids assault them
verbally. “Laugh it off,” I tell
them, “even if the words hurt.
Fake it if you have to; the trick
is to fool them into thinking it
doesn’t bother you.”
My friend Rob Maxwell uses
See Keep on page 21
Just for Fun
Casey and Kyle by Will Robertson
If you pick up
a starving
dog
and
make
him
prosperous,
he will not
bite
you.
This is the
principal dif-
ference be-
tween a dog
and a man.
Solve this Sudoku
Answer to Janur y 6
Sudoku is on page 20
J a n u a r y ’s
flower is
the
carnation.
H e re ’s o n e
t o c o l o r.
MARK TWAIN
American
author and
humorist
(1835-1910)