Klamath republican., May 01, 1902, Image 4

Peculiar
To Itself
I
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
No other medicine acts like it;
no other medicine has done so
much real, aubatantial good, no
other medicine has restored health
and strength at so little cost.
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"I w«s tronbi«! with »croOila »».I cimi n«-»r
io»ir>t tny ereslghi. For lour month, i >-o»l«f
not »re to d<> am thin«
After laxtn« two l«>t-
Ilea of HorS ■ Sar,»parllta I could ,e» to «»!•.
and when I nad ta,<-n ot^ht bottle, 1 could a,-e
• a wall as e»»r.” Seals A. HatnsTus Wither».
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W®»Ws SaraspwrW/a proar/aaa fa
oura a„W fcwaaa rfca pcemJaa.
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A Donuatx MyNsry.
Mr. Bink»—Something queer about
Biffkina. He ha» never once mention«!
his wife.
Mrs. Binks—I'erhaps hs isn't mar-
riel.
Mr. Bink»—Oh, yee, he is.
He
wtrais out three pairs of shoes a month
trying to savs car fare.—New Yoik
Weekly.
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Th« Pnc« of AdmlMiea.
The only son had rea« lied the histri­
onic period in hie career, ami was in­
dulging in a juvenile «iition of “Uncle
Tom's Cabin.” His mother's drawing
room was converted into a temporary
theater, and with a view, perhaps, of
playing only to exclusive audiences,
this notice was posted over the door:
“tadiea and gentlemen under 13
year» may come in; those that are not
cannot.”—New York Evening Poet.
» Hr ‘ ■
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£
sxroKX ■■ TW TWW ■
Its Could Not Touch H«s Wits'» lllnusr»
end They W«re -STS for a King."
So writes our esteemed friend. Mr.
Frank Chambers, of 9 Bennett St.,
Chiswick: “For over two years I suf­
fered agonies from indigestion, and lie-
came rexiuoed to a mere shadow of my
«taiwart »elf.
I would return home
from my business feeling so faint that
I could hardly drag one leg after tbe
other; my dear wife did all she poesi-
bly could to tempt me with dainty
dishre, and as I enterrei the house I
sniffed and thought: ‘Oh, how good; I
know I can eat that.*
But alas! no
sooner had I eaten a few mouthfuls,
when I felt sick; severe pains shot
through my chest and shoulder blades,
my eyes swam and everthing seemed
black. 1 became alternately hot and
cold, and got up from such a dainty
dinner heartily sick of living, and feel­
ing I was a sore trial to everybody. I
may mention that 1 was also very much
troubled with a scaly skin, and often
boils. But one evening 1 noticed my
wife seem«! more cheerful than usual.
I questioned her and found she had
been reading a pamphlet she had re­
reived, of men afflicted just as I waa,
and who had been cured by Vogeler’s
Compound. Said she, ‘What gives me
more faith in it is that it la made from
the formula of an eminent physician
now in active practice in the We«t End
of London, so I am sure it is no quack
thing.* ‘All right, dear, let's have a
bottle, said I. After taking the con­
tents of the first bottle I felt very much
better, and determined to give this
remedy a fair trial, and I can positive­
ly assure you that a few bottles have
made a new man of me.
I can sleep
well, ent anything and thoroughly en­
joy life. I have told several of my
friends, whom 1 knew were suffering
tbe same as myself, and they all wish
me to say that they are like new men.
I sincerely bless the great physician
who gave you the formula of Vogeler’s
Curative Compound, and also your­
selves for making its virtues known to
a suffering public.”
Tbe proprietor.
(the St. Jacobs Oil, Ltd. Baltimore,)
will send a sample ire. to any one
writing to them.
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M..OS. there I» n«»l a well
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" I i am —
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EtKM'iiiaaEs»
. «
acter as Cecil Rhodes, tb. empire
builder, who died lu Cape Town. South
Africa.
He posers»«! a Napoleonic
ambition, a tltautic euergy aud a pow­
erful iutellect aud. like bis great pro-
totype. the Curst. au. be had a supreme
coutempt for right, justice aud bu-
inanity. Ills was the plotting that em­
broiled Great Brttaiu aud the Boers lu
the merciless struggle which is drown-
Ing the African veldt iu blood. He It
was who directed the Jameson tall.
Both were lu Hue with bls ambition—
to create a confederate South Africa
uuder the British dag. and of this new
commonwealth lie was to be the head.
Rhodes was the sou of an English
rector anti went to South Africa a
Quarter of a century ago tor tlie beuetit
of hla health. His health was restored
aud lie made money at the Kimberly
diatuoud mines, ultimately combining
all the varied am! warring Interests
uud.r the title of the l»e Beers Mluiug
Company, of which lie became Presi­
dent. lu isist he iHsame prime minis­
ter of Cape Colony and then lie em­
barked ou bis scheme of conquest. lie
formed the British South African Com
pany. a tradiug and exploring coueern.
which was iH-rmltletl an absolutely
free hand lu South Africa.
Rhodes
raised the cry of Africa for the Afrl
kanders. which gaiusd Dutch sup|>ort.
while Ids avow«'«! determiuatiou to
paint all of South Africa a British red
a pi wali'd to aud tirevl the British Imag­
ination.
He projected the Cape to
Cairo Railroad ami crept round the
Dutch States of South Africa, boring
his way northward and preempting
league after league of fertile soil. His
soldier» streamed through Becbuaua-
land. wbi?b be practically
wrested
from the Boeis. lie seized Mashono-
laud.
Ilia maehiue guns plled the
plains of Matalielelaud high with dead
oatlv«*s au«l by similar arguments oth­
er provin«'-.'«, tbe whole la-tug nuw lu
cludol under tbe gt'iieral terui Rho­
desia. came undec tbe sway uf tbe
chartered cumpauy. which was identi­
cal with Rhodes.
Hi» Napoleonic Ambition.
.
!
»o nr,.
»,
«r»k
Inch lu my wh'’1* ,
m.ligMtion
at my .•‘‘’"“•fLimtaU.m »< lire brail.
horribly. au>l pa 1
tamdaota
ami 1 *m l«»»i,‘X •
auj
and ba.-lto.h- nror'T.7'
there
tonlay I
¿S'»
'“I
I» a weight in l11*
.. ( J, (llu, Ä11d
I kiwc I s Iwaring down all
.»..„in n>v groin--“■‘a -h;1};v:“I
CECIL RHODE8. EMPIRE BUILDER
OF SOUTH AFRICA.
It 1» probable ibat at the beginning
Rhodes couceived «uly of a Brltiab
bomb African empire. But bis ambi
tiun grew aud when tbe Cape tu Cairo
Railroad waa projected bis view em­
braced an empire extending (rout the
Mediterranean sea to the Cain- of Guud
Hope, embracing toe lands of tbe
I'iiaruab». the territory of the Mabdl.
tbe almost unexplored region In which
the Nile has its uituy aoun.-n nnd on
dowu beyond the great lakes and
across tbe veldt to Table Bay. where
tbe warships of Great Britain ttig at
their anchors. Truly a Napoleonic con
ceptlon and a Napoleonic task.
As said, tbe Infamous Jameson raid
and the war with the Boers were In
An Obstad«.
furtherance of bis daring scheme.
“There is slways room at the top,* When the Boers were sulidued then
said the Good Adviser.
Rhodes would resume bis empire build­
“indeed, yes,” answered the Unfor­
ing without oppusltlon. But be has
tunate Person, “but the elevator :s not died too soon.
always running.”
Rhodes was enormously wealthy be­
fore tbe Boer war. and although bls In­
terests suffered as a consequence of
that struggle be is credit«! with hav­
ing left a fortnue approximating $100,-
OOO.iXXJ. But be never sought wealth
Rheumatic paint are the cries of protest for Itself. He was covetous of the
and distress from tortured muscle«, aching power that wealth gives and lie was
Joints and excited nerves. The blood has generous with bis money. Once he
been poisoned by the accumulation of shock«] England during tbe beat of
waste matter in the system, and can no
longer supply tbe pure and health sustain* tbe luGid League agitation by contrib­
ing food they require. The whole system uting $50,000 to tbe Irish Home Rule
feels the effect of this acid poison ; and fund. Wheu criticised he turned on
not until the blood has been purified and bls critics, told tb?m to study tbe
brought back to a healthy condition will American constitution and learn bow
the aches and pains cease.
to govern Ireland. He believed In a
Mrs. Janies Kelt, bf 707 Ninth street, N. F.,
Washington, D. C , writes as follows: *‘A few vast federation under the British flag,
months ago I had an attack of bciatic Xheuma with tbe most liberal form of govern­
tlam In its worst form Tbe
ment lu each separate State, and thus
Kin waa so intense that I
came completely pros­
Ills home rule proclivities were natural
trated. Tbe stuck waa au
and Inevitable. He was a great ad
unusually severe one. and
mv condition was retard«
uilrer ot the United States. Its Im-
ed as being very danjer-
uiensity and success attracted him.
ooa. I was attended by
oae of the most able doc­
Rhodes was simple In his tastes, If
tors in Washington, who ia
also a member of the fac­
kingly among kings, be was also a
ulty of a leadin2 medical
farmer among farrner». and among the
college here. He told me,
to continue his prescrip­
Cape Dutch and Boers such a meta­
tions a nd I would get well. After baring ft filled
twelve times Without receiving the slightest morphosis Is the necessary stepping
benefit, I declined to continue his treatment any stone to tbe hearts and votes of that
longer. Having heard of S. S. S.iSwift’s Specific;
recommended lor Rheumatism, I decided, almost numerous people.
In despair however, to give the medicine a trial,
When lie was lu tbe Cape I’arlla-
and after I had taken a few bottles I was able tc
bobble around on crutchea, and very soon there meat. Mr. Rhodes wore a bat which
after had no use for them at all, S. 8. 8. haring was so shabby that It became tbe sub­
cured me aouud aud well. All tbe distressing
pains have left me, tny appetite has returned ject of newspaper Importance.
When
and I am happy to be again restored to perfeci
be was In Rhodesia he donned the old­
health.
t**e Krcat vegetable est suit of clothing In his wardrobe,
'V purifier and tonic,
and followed the habits of the pioneers
the ideal remedy in all who were settling tbe country.
He
rheumatic troubles
slept in a native kraal when not near
WW WW WW There are no opiate» 01
a town, nnd ate of tbe Mine canned
minerals in it to disturb ths digestion and
beef aud crackers that Ills Charter«!
lead to ruinous habits.
We have prepared a special book on Company serv«l to Its mouuted police.
Rheumstism which every sufferer from Formality bor«! him, and lie would
this painful disesse should read. It is the rather live a mouth costless and col­
most complete and interesting book ot larless lu a native kr»al with an old
the kind in existence. It will be sent free colony story teller than spend half au
to any one desiring it. Write our physi­
cian» fully and freely about your case. We hour at a state dinner In the govern
or's mansion.
make no charge for medical advice.
Rhodes was too strong In < liaracter
mt swift mciric co., A tlanta , ba .
to stoop to a lie. He shouldered the
full responsibility for the .lame»on raid,
and when his friends asked him to be
discreet aud guarded In bls utterances,
on
Best Cough Syrup. T mibi Utxxi. üee
i be replied: "1 am not going to lie atsnit
la time.
hr druggjftn.
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| It.” The conviction and sentence of
Rheumatism
L
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WHOLE TOWN ON ONE STUMP.
In what it is and what it <ioea—con­
taining the best blood-purifying, Ur Was Ou« ot the Most Mastsrfttl
tbsra.lcr» Hines ths ltay» of Na-
alterative nnd tonic substances nnd
IHileon Hi» Great A.htrvrwrnt» end
effecting the most radical and per­
Ui» Greater Ambition.
manent cures of all humors ami all
eruptions, relieving weak, tired,
Not slu«'. the days of Napoleon Las
languid feedings and building up
the whole system—ia true only of clvdlzaliou eaeu such a masterful char­
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AN UNCROWNED KING
not »leep.
; .0 on. ever
am di»-aan<l an*
auffere.1 a» t
f tfonwanda <4
Th,. I« » de«. P“ ’»
"‘jq^ham-s
On and around a red cedar atuuip Is grouped the entire male population ot
the town of Redro, Wash Rilling aud standing on the top of the stump are 39
full grown men and one tittle girl. There la ample nx.ni on top ot thia »tump
for all the men in aight, but If place«! there some of them would be out of sight.
It Is thoroughly interesting to uote that thia huge stump la Itk* feet In drvuiuter-
em-e. making It a at esauriate for the mighty redwood of California. To give •
good ides of the timber growth in the vicinity of thia wonderful stump. It may be
stated that there are tuauy stumps in the vteinlty of thia oue that are 60 to tW feet
in circumference.
Dr. Jameson, the leader of the raid,
pained him greatly aud drew from hliu
this biting sarcasm: "What a tribute to
the moral worth of the uatlou that Las
'jumped' the world!"
Ithode. was never married. He was
said to have been a woman hater. Any­
way be never had time or Inclination
for the soft side of life. II. was proud,
cold, daritr;. audacity Itself, and he
howl'll toward the goal of bis ambition
without a deterring sentiment of either
morals or mercy
THE PRIEST AND THE SCRIBE.
Spurttiia Reporter's Troublss Trying
to Deacribe a Churcte Cerswtony.
sent me out ou this.'
“He was so frank about the matter
and realized Ids own limitations so
well that I couldu't feel angry whb
him, and actually had to laugh at the
Iwwlldered air with which he ap­
proached tbe whole matter.
I fixed
him up as well as I could, but never
bail the courage to look at the report
that his paper printed."—Chicago Inter
Ocean.
OWN8 THE LARGEST FARM.
Wonderful Record» of Th!»
Work at Tarkio, Mo.
Year’»
David Rankin of Tarkio, Mo., owns
the largest cultivated tract of lam! In
the world. To those who have never
visited a large ranch the methods nec­
essary to carry on the vast amount of
work would seem a great problem.
Mr. Rankin owns fourteen ranches,
containing 22,000 acres; 700 teams and
220 men are re«|ulred to operate the
daily routine work In the busy season,
while the crops are under cultivation.
Each ranch has an overseer, who Is re­
quired to make a monthly report and
to submit the same to bls employer.
The records of year's work for 1901
over all the ranches show that a total
of 7,539 hea<l of cattle had been sold
for <172,520 and 8,249 head of bogs for
$111.64*1. The total clearance for the
year amounte«l to $100,000. The •X-
peases. Including Interest reach«! the
sum of $91,851.13.
The most profitable ranch Is the one
looked after by Foreman G«>rge Ross,
whose yearly report contains the fol­
lowing statements: Number of acres,
3,280; cattle. 1.328; net proceeds from
cattle. $44.598.90; hogs, 1.232; cash for
the same. $17,954 .19; expense per acre.
$4.39; corn bought, 98,720 bushels.
Mr. Rankin Is a close observer, says
the Cincinnati Enquirer, and noon picks
out the good qualities of his men. He
Is pleasant and accommodating, daring
nnd energetic, which qualities have
won for him the wealth he now com­
mands. Besides his farms he has an
Interest In several banking concerns,
hut to these latter he gives little atten­
tion. and spends most of his time rid­
ing over the rnnebes to see that proper
«■are Is being given the stock. 8ome-
FITS
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A Dlplomatio Waitress
The Moon Kept on tvlilnlng.
A Previous Experience.
"Two dollars to Forty second street!
How far away is It?"
“Oh! It's somo distance from here.”
"it Is. eh? I paid a cabman two dol­
lars to go somewhere. In New York
wunst an' he got there almost as soon
as he got the two dollars!”—Puck.
'■■•'«a
Don’t forwt that ip
“A vct ’ r ”
■ iku w . ih
«•■ »I. w ................ «
Too Uad.
birst Author—Kt«ck«in'» ia a ca»e of
whore a little knowledge I» a danger
ous thing.
Sre-ond Author —In what way?
"Why, Ito knuws ju»t enough uf his­
tory to unlit him for lieing a I iatorical
novelist.”— Brooklyn Life.
„ rwu.,w hu*
eta r«K|Uy
—’ »«<O. I«>».|| Mut
•BCE LINE- DUOOlEs,
\/i 1/i
DUCOlcs,
lllvts Indir." -<<|l
lh*» «'ruuMM
Ih» marhrl
t'MIt«*» tin y
(
lu-"
“‘•"•ial.ie
alanti **l»rs*tfuH r
ir*‘n tWfier» U®
taatllrw, Itr mi • « «
•'••Hs. heavy
imwili whr. i, ».
»’•
AUfr that y
K* tiiitg y mir in(10>
Wurth, M«b f.
•1 ■' 111 -
"Mil. b. II- (u.„,
’ ’ sAJ.
W» gq^.
•titsw llirtil.
I'tso's Cure rnniioi I* i,u, hishlv luoksn
of •• a coiisli cur»
W
J I
IV, <■'"
o liai»», s-yj
Third Av» . N., M tuitea|H>lis, Miuii, Jan.
6. l'JUO
Is th« land ot Dreamt.
M/roAe//, taw/, a graves a«
Hetty—Oh, Bertha, you usual show
me that hat your l«u»l>sn<l »ahi lie wn<
going to l>uy for you
to here, you know,
dream.
Bertha—Ami it I» »till a dream
"I had a terrible tnnela»t night
A
crank call««! at mj liou*' ami I had an
aw ul tune getting him to go away.’
"Threatening, ws» he"”
"Yes; i.e threaten«! to tell me a i
abuut his exploits ■ n the links."
1,1
UM.toll« JU!
feelith M»n
"So Markley ladend.”
“See, it waa a com pl leaf on of
troubles.*'
'•Why, when I saw him a week ag'>
he only teemml to have a »light cold.”
“Thai's all rig t, I ut he tried to
take all the reim-dlu» |i|a frleuda Stig-
geided.”—Philadelphia I'ran.
Th« GoHiac.
q .
•"dhopJul. IWi„4
Hmc ani| mon fc"
irylUR some <>n,cr
llso iIm old, rested,ir|M
■Od .Ttte Ayer'S Ssrs.p.1
tame back makes a young man feel
obi. Hamlin's Wu.ml ililmukoa nn old
nmn Iwd young. he- your druggist.
ulcerated eonditiou of the neck of tbe
svomb can prodm*
U»’* W
tom», «nd no woman should allow
herself to reach such a perfection of
rniaerv wheu there I« absolutely no
„«■«..I of it
The subjeet of our por­
trait iu thi« Sketch. Mrs «llliam. of
Englishtown. N J . h»» been entirely
cure«! of »ueh illne- «nd miarv by
l.ydia E. Finkham» Vegetable <*>m-
pound.
.
No other medlrin« ha» such « record
for absolute cure«, ami no «»lher medi­
cine is "just a« good " Women who
want a cure shiiuld insist up*«n getting
Lydia E. rinkham'» Vegetable Com­
pound wheu they **« for it al a store.
'!S,rU
Patilla, and |n une
a«*«« «.«..ii"« vu ar a j oeio.ii».oi..,„.iu¿¿
i»» i»» a u kti«». i.t.i mi «>< & «a . ri.ii»i.i|.i>i». e*
“Jack" Maher, of the Pike Stock
Couipauy, i» very fond of egg», ami
wheu the prxwlucta of the Induatriou»
hen were soaring higher than North
eru Pacific stock, lie eutervd a certain
popular-priced restaurant aud order«l
wine of them bulled. The wait re»»
wished to Inform him that the price»
on eggs bad been raised, aud as a pre
llmluary remarked:
"Do you waut them very bad?"
"1 rather think not." »aid Maher. "1
should prefer mine freah, if U's all the
same to you.”
The waltresa attempted t« »xplalu
and blundered the s«*uud time.
"I mean do yuu waut them ths worst
way?" she queried.
Maher became angty. "Say. do you
think I'm a barnstorming Hamlet ur
an antiquarian on hen fruit? What l
want Is some medium bulled egg», aud
be quick about It.”
The waitress fingered tbs tabla cloth
xud timidly remarked:
"If It's all the same, wouldn't you
rather have them poached?"
"Why?" asked Maher.
“Well, you see.” responded the wait
rees. "eggs are so high now and the
dealers are so unscrupulous that w«
find that It saves argument with out
customers If the cook opens them lu
the kitchen."
Wlthuut a word Maber seized bls bat
and tied Into tbe opeu alto-Glucluuatl
Enquirer.
A certain well known judge was
once violently attacked by a young
aud very Impudent counsel. To the
surprise of everylsrdy, the Judge beard
him quite through, unconscious of
what was said by those present, aud
made no reply.
After the adjournment for the day
and when all were assemblis! at hotel
where the Judge aud many of the court
folk had their refreshments, one of tlm
company asked the judge why he did
not rebuke the Impertinent fellow.
"Permit me.” said the Judge, lorn!
••nongli to attract the attention of tho
whole company, among whom was the
barrister in question -"permit me to
tell you a little story. My father, when
we lived in the country, bad a dog. a.
mere puppy. 1 may say.
Well, this
puppy would go out every moonlight
tilgbt and bark at the moon for hours
together."
The Judge paused, as If be had fin­
ished.
"Well, what of It?" exclaimed half a
dozen of the audience at once.
"Oh. notb'ug nothing, but the moon
kept shining on, just as If nothing had
happened.”
Poorly?
Bred 1» Carrying » !<>«<!
I'tqia— Are you »nr» v««ii can aupport
my daughter in the .lyio to which .It»
1» SiVU»t<l|ll««l?
The Nnitor— Well, I will only say
that yeaten'av I <lip»<>.».|
lnv aiit,»-
mobile, which I kept in g««id rupalr (or
over two year».
I’apa lbrokenly)—Him i» yours, my
l»»y. I, U m >, one« owurel au auto*,—
l.rooklyn Life.
(!
time, he lend, a helping hand to pull
Ing a steer from the mud; again b. will
aaalst In building a abeti for th. fat
teued bogs.
"One uf tbe most amazing things
that I have noticed in tbe conduct of
newspaper," said a prominent Roman,
t athollc clergyman of this diocese lu
talking with a Bunday luter <X*eau re­
porter the utber day. “is tbe absolute
Ignorance of our ebureb matters that
the average reporter detailed to write
of them exhibits. Oue would suppose
that tbe papers would sel«t tueu for
such duties who were qualified for tbe
work by reasuu of being members of
tbe church, or who at least bad such
a geueral store uf Information as to
euable them to approach their assign­
ment with the spirit of Intelligence.
I he reverse seems, however, to be the
rule.
"I am impelled to make this criticism
by an experience that 1 bad at the
Holy Name Cathedral a short time ago.
There was an luiposlug church cere-
munial to take place lu which I was tu
take part with »cores uf other priests
of the nrebdlucese. A short time be­
fore tbe services were to begin a re
Where Men Kat to 1-ive.
porter for one of tbe papers came up
"The Trappist Munks consider eat
to the parish bouse for Information,
uud. seeing me there, asked me to tell Ing to be a necessary evil." say» John
him In advance just what was going Ball Osborns In Lippincott's Man li
to l>e done. 1 sat down and be pulled Magazine, "aud curtail It to such n de
out bls pad of paper and l»egan tu take gree that one step further would b*
notes. In my description of the cere­ suicide. Dinner, to which scarcely 15
monies 1 mentioned tbe acolytes. He minutes Is devoted, consists of a me».»
stopped bis writing and look«! up at of vegetables boiled tn water without
butter or »alt aud »erred In a crude
me with a puzzled expression.
"How do you spell that?" he n«ked. earthenware bowl, a slice or two ot
"I told him and be put It down. Then rye bread without blitter, and a mug
of milk or water as a beverage. Sup
he looked up again aud ask«l;
"•Ray. what are acolytes, anyhow?” per Is the barest a|>ology for n meal,
“Briefly, I told him what acolytes being nuthlug more than bread and
are. and tbeu went <>n with my descrip­ water. The guest master did not men
tion of the ceremonies, lu dolug so I tlon breakfast; If there be such a meal.
mentlone«! that tbe brothers were to It probably consists merely of a gin»-
take a certain |>art. Again tbe reporter of water. A slight relaxation of tills
dietary Is allowed to Invalids, who
looked up and asked:
may have two eggs a day. while on
•' 'Say. w hat bribers?'
“I gave him a brief explanation of extraordinary occasions, such a» a fu
the brothers, and he took It all In. neral feast In honor of a departed friar,
When I bad concluded he fired another the monks revel In au egg apiece. They
are strict vegetarians, ami a Trappist
question at me:
“ Say. what's the difference between must be in the very Jaws of death be­
fore he will conseut to eat meat. How
the brothers aud the priests T
"It was now my turn to ask ques these poor, untiring tollers can exist
tiow. and 1 did so. 'What is this, any­ ou such feeble food suri«asses tny com­
how? A theological class?' 1 Inquired. prehension; aud yet I »aw Individual«
AVbat kind of work do you do for yuur at Westmalle who liad beeu undergo-
lug the rigid regime for half a century.
paper, young man? Horse race«?*
“ 'Mostly sporting.' he answered, not The majority of the veterans, how­
In tbe least abashed. 'I never tackle«! ever. were haggard, sad faced nnd
a proposition like this before. an«l It 1» gaunt, and bore no resemblaure to the
Just so much Greek to me. Hi>ortlng proverbially sleek, jolly, rotuud monks
news !s pretty dull just uow. so they of the cloister."
Ial«r«i(lay,
II»-Du yon find |t ah |hU<tw.H,
story?
Hh®--Oh, very. I’m so anxious to
gut to the »nd that, really, I <an'i I,»!.,
! skipping nearly every other page."
j
T» Mre Brooklyn. Iron« Hubby.
I
I
“My husband I« go|nt to give m»
Itila |M«rlrait for a birthday |ireauiit.’’
“That’s very kind of him.”
Oh, but he d<«<»n*t know about it
yet.’’—Brooklyn I.He.
’
Hr, ‘‘J . »
.
,
U
..
r sjvip
Hetty.—Til-Bits.
A Mc«iur< ot Tlm«.
The Fu(»il—It «•’cniml to me that I
mn»t have piactic«l all of two hours.
The l’ro(r»»or—But I’m sure yu
didn't. H you had pra< tn««l two hour»
it nuuld bava seem««! l¡k«* »ix.—I'uck.
Tikin« th« Short Let
Mr«. Galey (musingly)—Ftappoee I
-Imuld publish your love letter», <lear?
Mr. Galey—Bhv not »imply make a
public a>‘knowledgement that you mar-
ie«l a fol?
Whom th« Wise«)) M«»nl
Sir Arthur Fullivan »>< once
•carer of a letter from the I'rmre
Wales, now Queen Alexandra, to her
mother, the quern of l*rnmark. Th.
<tter read it and »aid: “M.e -ay ■ in
er letter. 'Ile will tell you about the
ittle monkey.
monkey.' *’
“1 assure your
aji-sty,” raid Mr Arthur, 1 am quite
.'iioraut on th«* «object of any monkey.”
lie queen, with a laugh, repl ml*.
She means berrelf.”
I
DscelisMs.
Jimwtn— Dili you iw*e the society bud*
at the reception la«l night?
Jester—Yee; one would think th»»
wouhi l>e afraitl to cotte out »«> early
in the spring without wearing mor»
protect! n
against the frost.—Obi««
State Journal.
S o « m Oss Mu>l Pay th« Bills.
Anxious Groom—t thought you said
something or other alsuit a clietk ; I
don't <■«« any.
Angry Fat her-in-taw—You bl í tl »«»r- !
Ing idiot, yout wits is a regular click-
book. Every time either o| you wants
anything »he writes me a note an 1 I've
got to cash it.
¿to
f
r HAU* al*UH‘<«<
1900= 1,250,7.1 Palm.
1901 = 1,566,720 Pain.
er Mt»
Hlie—I want tn get a necktie tor a
gentleman.
Clerk—Yea, mi»»; here •re •<>mo
very pretty one« for $1.
riorr
Rlx^-O, I don’t want to
than a quarter.
Clerk—Yee, madam; d e« your bus-
l>and like dark or light colors?—Phila­
delphia l'rea».
Only X,. tin«.
‘lioesn't it make you th. least lol
envious to »«st abat elegant furniture
Mrs. Eyrtlv is putting into her house
next door?”
Already.
“Not a bit.
My hu»l«nd «ay» it
"That boy,” remark«! old Orhert)»,
PoiUatid. Oregon. Fotiiidrl WM
will lie »old by the sheriff within six drily, after the youthful Impe and pride
»
mouths—an<l I'll be there to buy.”
I
bail Iwn 1«! off to the »panking <le-
I Homi Scholl for Boyj.
l>artmetit. “has the bump of litigation
F«w Th.n<t mi Strip«*,
Military and Mainai Tnlilij,
very »trongly developml; be i» already
“Will you kindly »ho* me abat you vigorously engagwl in contesting the
«rite f«»r Illustrali (aulofua
nave here?” asked the vinitor to the |»ironlal will.”
ARTHUR C. M «H l.. Principal
pen.
"With
pleasure,”
replied
the
tt»d f»r»«d M«r R«firem«at.
Kew Year Renolutloin
warden, who bail <>n«e worked in a dry
Mi«» Susan M. Hallowell, profe»»orof
gt«»ls it«ire; “we hate a few things in
Isitany for Ihe |>aat 27 year« at Weles-
stri|«s that I think will interest you."
ley culh-ge, Ims tendered her resigna­
Hur«
ir<»m lb|u. r. opum •»»•! *"b*w
lion. Her retirement withdraw» from
habits Hcii'l lt»r |*artkul«r» U>
A Rare Brand.
the faculty ranks the last meiuls-r who If a
a
U h »*«I I«
w 11
"This,” said the salesman, handing
Keeley
servetl in the o|«ening year of 1876.
out another pwkage, "is also an excell­
ent sub»titute for coffee. It is very
wholesome. It makes red blood.“
“Haven’t you something,” s«k««l the
voting woman with the earrings, “that
make» blue l>b««l?”
BISHOP SCOTT 1C10ÍHI
Keeley Cun
Institute.i -■ »«■■■ »■■»«««
Simple.
Frien<I—Why do yon imagine that
drink drives away yonr troubles?
OI<1 lank—Oh!
1 exchange one
load for another.
Sullivan'* Truthful Remark.
i,[«
r,„„*
imd
Th«, Kimi Ymi lluvo Alwny* Bmifflit ha» b,,rni
turc ofCim*. II- FlcUlicr, nntl ha-» be en
nrrsonnl auprrvixlon for ou r
to <lr<*«.|ve you In tills. i'oiiiitrrG'iK. ’tn
John I.. Sullivan lias liren rmvjgnizml
n. a truthful a» well a» a fighting man
"I’ve ma In n monkey of my »»If again,”
lie said the other day.
Dtnlsl from Amtrlcas Scent.
Major F. R. Burnham, an American
««■out, who nerved with tlm British cav-
airy in tlm Boer war, denies that he lies
HR
applied for the piare ot instructor of
scouts at Aldershot.
What is CASTORIA
Caatorln la n luirmb «•» xubxtltuto lor <
gorlc. Drops and Soothing Nyrupx. I<_
' ^lir(.)(tio
contaiiiN neither Opium, Morphine n r
w<>nn*
Riihatance. Its ago H H* giii,ri,i,t<',‘.
.
■„,( Wind
nrxl allay« Fevcrbhiu ««. It « ur. -j Hinrr .. a ^'i .„thm
Colle, li relieve« Teeth ng Troubles, e^
(110
nnd Flatnlcney. It iwudmllnte* 1 »'J ""I* ¿ uiinil d<< l>-
Htomacli nnd llowel«, giving b« “ I'.','" . J1 ,r,u
Tho Children**« I’uimeen 1 bo Alolln r x 1 rh
.
Work of Joel Chsndlcr Mirrlx
Joel Chandler Harris, the author
lives in a little frame cottage in At­
lanta, Ga. He writes from six to »even
hours a day, turning out from 1,500 t„
2,000 words, using a ty|«iwriter.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
A Sterile giou* Deiirt.
Bears tho Signature of
Mrs. Jones—What’s become of that
silk smoking jacket you gave your
husband (or his birthday?
Mrs. Smith—Oh, I had to make that
over into a sofa pillow. He actually
Mortality of Maryland Hornes.
want«! to sit around and smoke in it.
Investigation by the Htate veterina­ —Judge.
rian show» that the high death rate
Nice M»n.
among borne, in Maryland In tin«, to
Cadleigh—Won't you give me another
cerebrospinal meningitis. The disease
Is the result of poor food, bad drainage dance?
Miss Wiggins—Really, Mr. Cad­
and generally Insanitary environment.
leigh, you’ve had nearly all so far
Chines. Woolen Workers.
nnd——
In Han Francisco 570 Chinamen are
Cadleigh—Ye», you know, it’» ju»t
employ«! In factories making under­ to wpite Miss P«:his. We’ve had a
wear for women nnd children. Girl« quarrel.
are totally unable to compete with
them.
N. P. M. U,
*•- 17-1.01.
In Use For Over 30 Years.
PRUSSIAN STOCK
»? 'tss.fdsrteL s
Package« 0Oo and Si»OO*
MARK« PIG* GKOW-GGOt» FOR *TI Ml ” ‘ '
pbc »» ixn
When we have a kick coming, we
have noticed that It comes from some
other man.
usuai»» co . nt.
iiNNTf km UN —1
S
I
p»t »«i*«
Grrn fcr’iU’K Vnur ’
_
_
_______ _
e<»WBN ■ ■■!> STUBB, «••»»
r-rllautl, < Or».,
”*" «od
nn (
riha *1
•’
pt*