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About Herald and news. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1942-current | View Entire Issue (July 28, 1963)
ILLUSTRATION tY MIKE IAMUS IS FISHING GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE? It needn't be if a husband uses as much intelligence in coping with a wife as he does with a trout x" v s.?!! -&a&?'- ' l... Afj uue's line was dangling casually, when our guide yelled. A big salmon was nibbling at her bait! By BOB FOREMAN ANY ANTHROPOLOGIST will tell you l. that, while Nature intended man to help perpetuate the race, this endeav or was not to divert him from his basic function of fishing, hunting, and paint ing on the walls of caves. Today, women either prohibit men from doing all the fishing expected of them or they join them on the water, which is even worse. This last condition usually occurs early in a marriage. The new bride, feigning interest in Hubby's hobby, says, "I'd simply love to go along with you on your next trip, Honey." Then she cuddles up or does something equally insidious. This happened to me just after I got married, so I took her along with me. It was the Resti gouche, that famous Canadian salmon river. The first day I skillfully cast to and hooked a fine 28-pound fish. Jubilantly that evening over a glass of sassafras tea, I made plans to have the fish sent to a taxidermist. Next day we went out on the river again. My wife was fishing in her own peculiar way rod" resting in the prow, fly dangling limply in the water a foot from the boat Along came a monster salmon which proceeded to swallow the fly. A yell from the guide awoke her in time to seize the rod which was already half put of the boat. Alternately by horsing the fish and letting the line go completely slack (a technique un known to and, therefore, confusing to the fish),' my wife brought it to the guide's net in 15 minutes fiat. This salmon, I regret to say, weighed 35 pounds. "We'll have mine mounted, too," my wife said that night as she consumed some of my sassa fras tea. "Shaking hands with mine," I said glumly. "You're a poor sport," she replied. "The whole idea of mounting fish is silly," I said. "What with food prices so high, we'll eat them both." Then my bride began to cry, which only goes to prove women are emotionally unbalanced. MY advice, despite this disastrous trip, is to agree to let the little woman join you. Do this graciously. Don't snarl and say, "In a pig's eye!" Then here's what to do. Get yourself a large gob of night crawlers (even if you're a dry fly purist). Next select the gooiest worm and in struct the little woman on threading a hook. This should solve your problem. If it doesn't, here's another suggestion. Let her join you on the stream. Do this without a trace of rancor. Then take the first fish you get and slit its belly. Examine the alimentary tract very closely with her "to see what the fish has- been feeding on." Chances are you can now count on being a solitary fisherman for the rest of your married life. Okay now let us assume you are allowed to go fishing alone. Don't expect enthusiastic ap proval from your spouse. When you return home from a long day of casting, flushed with victory, and you plunk two eight-inch, silver-colored, liver-fed, yesterday-stocked brook trout into the kitchen sink, you'll be lucky if you get silent approval. If she says anything, it'll be: "Take those filthy things out of my kitchen sink and clean them in the back yard. And don't dirty up any of my good knives." While this is most dis couraging, don't break down and cry. Do what you are told, or those will be the last fish you'll ever net. I hope the foregoing tips will serve to alert you to the nationwide plot by which women hope to prevent fishermen from living out full and worthwhile lives. I must apologize for the loud scream you hear in the distance. It's my wife. She must have dis covered my waders in the living room. I was merely trying to locate a leak, so I filled them with water and a couple of quarts leaked out onto the sofa. Is that so terrible? Now if I ex pect to be allowed to go on the trout trip I've scheduled next .Friday, I guess I had better buy her a new sofa. Maybe perfume, too. COVER: Photographer Frank Klune, Jr., caught this angler about to net a trout under the majestic shadow of the Rockies. For an offbeat angle on angling, read the story above, "Is Fishing Grounds for Divorce?" Family Weekly fly I July 21. IH3 LEONARD S. DAVIDOW Prttiimt and PMithtr Boord of Idllott WAITER C. DREYFUS Viet fVrairfrnt PATRICK E. OtOURKE 4rfrrrliing Director MORTON FRANK Dirretor of PMuhrr Rdalfoiu Snd all advortltlng communication! to Family Woc-tily. IS N. Michigan Ave, Chicago 1, III. Addrcti oil communication about tentorial foaturot to Family Wockly, M E. Mlh St., Now York 22, N. Y. I til, PROCESSING! AND ROOKS, INC., 153 N. Michigan A... ERNEST V. HEYN fifor-in-Chi BEN KARTMAN xrlir Editor ROBERT F1TZOIBBON Itfonaanio Editor PHILLIP DYKSTRA Art Director MELANIE DE PROFT Food Editor Rotolyn Abrtvaya, Ardon Eidotl, Hal London, Jock Ryan; Poor J. Opponhoimor, Hollywood. Chicago 1, III. All rlghH rourvod.
