Herald and news. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1942-current, October 23, 1961, Image 6

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Herald and news., October 23, 1961, Image 6

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Newspaper Page Textr&tna HERALD AND NEWS, Klamath Falls, OQ. Monday, October 23, UU , ;. CROMLEY INJWASHINGTOM . . . U 0 o e HOT FOOT a:P!'i Researchers Seek Laos, thrusting part way back into the spotlight that for months has so steadily shone on Berlin, seems no more promising for the West than when it first slipped onto the back pages. Major negotiators discussing a settlement at Geneva meet again and again in what ap pear to most observers the fruitless sessions typical when Communists are participating. On the military side, ample evidence exists that the Reds have used the rainy sea son "cease fire" to buUd up their forces enough to support a new offensive against shrunken government territory. This fits the classic Communist pattern, seen before in China and Korea, of exploiting "truces" for new military build-ups. J For a long time the Reds have used their soil for transit of guerrillas and supplies to South Viet Nam. Now they are reported using government areas for this purpose, which helps to explain the rising threat to that coun try. Despite this spate of poor news, some high White House sources declare it prema ture to write Laos off. This counterjudgment is based on: ; The contention the Geneva talks are mak ing small but distinct progress and promise still more. American, You Say? Prove It! (Oregon Standard Examiner) That's what an immigration officer in Chicago told Joseph Schallmoser the other day. And Mr. Schallmoser, thrice decorated In combat, is rebelling. He won't try to "prove it" to the immi gration department's satisfaction. ! The dispute arises because he came to tjhe U.S. from Germany when he was six. He's now 38, a veteran, married, and has three chil dren. Now bureaucracy wants more proof of Americanism, or he faces deportation to Ger-' many. His dander is up, and rightfully so. He's called "technically not a citizen.'' Unless he knuckles under he may well be deported. ! Surely there are regulations, and regula tions. Applicability in these should be a mat ter of individual case histories, j Signing an application for citizenship is a, ceremony Immigrants look forward to with great expectation. So, too, would Mr. Schall My sense of humor, which li ajtin to that of a retarded child, fjlls Into convulsions over spoon erisms and mistakes In diction. Tile spoonerism was named after the Rev. William A. Spooncr, of New College, Oxford, England. He had difficulty saying anything cor rectly and, in church, kept a lady from her seat by saying; "Mardcn me paddom, but that pie is oc cupewed." In America, our radio and tele vision expert enjoy a slip of the tongue now and then. Harry von Zell was almost elected president of the Foot-in-Mouth Club for say ing: "And now, ladies and gen tlemen, the President of the Unit ed States, Hoobert Hcevcr." Andre Baruch did pretty well with "Good ladies, evening and gen tlemen of the audio radiancy." Norman Brokenshire used to spin a lot of these at lunch, but Kermit Schaefer did better. He put them in a book called "Pardon My Blooper." I've read It, not once, but many times. It brings out the Idiot in me. Some of the funniest lines sent out over the air are not spoonerisms at all. They were intended to mean one thing, but the audience roared with laughter because they had another meaning. Herb Shriner asked a woman: "Are you a natural born citizen ot the United States?" She said: "Oh no. I was born caesarian." The announcer selling bathing suits: "Ladies, you can now buy a bathing suit for a ridiculous fig ure." Betty Fumes once advised mil lions of women p "Try your Wes tinghotiw washer with a full load en." Tlow aboot the lady who (aid she hebchildren aged 1. S, 5 and S. The announcer asked "ffhat happened, to four?" and O Downhill In Laos Belief that the cease fire has been gen erally effective and can be maintained, the Communist build-up notwithstanding. Those high administration sources ac cept the unhappy prospect that at best a ne gotiated Laotian settlement would produce a wobbly neutralist government. King Savang Vathana has agreed to re ceive "neutralist" Prince Souvanna Phouma, choice of the three rival princes of Laos to lead a coalition government. Souvanna's re liability is unproven and he is sometimes la beled a disguised Communist. Still it is argued by Kennedy administra tion sources that anything is a gain which somehow keeps Laos free of the Reds' tight final grip. These points fail to register in many hard headed quarters. The conviction is strong among veteran observers that a shakily neu tral Laos would be doomed to a downhill slide to Red control, that attempts to establish an in dependent army would falter, and that it would be virtually impossible to enforce a ban on transit of Viet Nam-bound guerrillas through Laos. It would indeed be a modest score for the West if the rosier view proved correct. But the consensus of the realistic appraisers is that what looks like rose to some is more like ly to turn out to be Red. moser, in all likelihood, if the entire business had been handled in a more tactful manner. To most immigrants these papers are a symbol, a badge of loyalty to a new nation. The recipient is honored with recognition as a citizen, the nation is honored to have been chosen above all others. , Mr. Schallmoser has been American for 32 years, without a hitch. His adopted nation being home for so many years he had no thoughts that he might be alien, that depor tation and inflexible governmenttal rulings might some day make him a stranger in his own home. i His military record, decorationsj way of life, are all of this country. He knows little or nothing f Germany. Where is the fair ness, the American fair play? Mr. Schallmoser is as American as any other G.I. who fought in World War n. What immigration obstinacy hopes to accomplish by deportation in his case is hard to imagine. Far better if it attended to the more im mediate problems of those actively working against the nation's welfare. JIM BISHOP: REPORTER .'. . Sackward Bayings Bring' Fame To Meech Spakers she said: "Oh, that's the year we got our television set." I can understand the little boy who rehearsed his little part all week and, when he got up to the microphone, prattled: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Unit ed States of America, and to the republic for Richard Sands, one nation in a dirigible, with liberty and jusUce for all." A small town announcer made himself Immortal by cooing: "At Moe's Esso Sta tion, you can get gassed, charged, up, and have your parts lubricated all in 30 minutes." Burl Ives, receiving an award from Russcl Crouse, mumbled: "I want to thank Mr. Brusscl Rouse for his screwl." John Daly is not immune. The master of scalloped - circumlocution was chairman of a scries of debates between Senator Taft and Con gressman Smith. Daly signed off with: "Senator Taft and Repre sentative Spit smoked from the CBS studios in Washington." And how about "The following prescribe is transcrammed." Rob ert Merrill sings beautifully, but he once intoned: "I talute the wen and mimmen of Sexas." Mnggi McNcllis used to frequent t h e Ruby Foo restaurant and she slipped her tongue on: "A foo nights ago at Ruby Few's." , , , On ot the best was John Reed Klng. He was talking about the Lindsay-Crouse play, "Life with Father," but it came ou "That long run Crindsay-Louse play, 'Lice wish FaUwi.1 " John J. An thong used to settle family prob lems, but he had enough when aiO excitable lady explained that, when her husband went bankrupt, he left her. "He left me,'she moaned, "when his business fell 0(f."O The disc Jockey only Intended to give a lift to a friend who was about to be married, when he said: "I'm going to dedicate the next one to. my pal Henry and his expectant bride." Walter Pid goon was startled out of his dig nity when a local chairman said: "Mr. Privilege, this is Indeed a pigeon." -A network announcer kicked himself for saying: "We now bring you Mister Keene, loser of traced persons." Local news is sometimes small. A man burned his hand while making griddle cakes and the announcer said: "Jones' hand was burned when he put it on a hot girdle." That's no worse than the com mercial which went: "Remember, it's Wonder Bread for the breast in bed." The distinguished Frank Knight blew up one night with: "Tomorrow's weather roudy fol lowed by clain." One announcer of a religious program was doing fine until he got the quick wrap up signal. He said: "Remember cast thy broad upon the waters. This is the National Broadcasting Company." A laundry company Intended no offense when it announced: "La- . dies who care to drive by and drop their clothes oft will receive nrompt attention." Never try to correct a fluff. A Western an nouncer said: "This week the gov ernor is hunting beer I mean bear well, with his clothes on, In the mountains?' On Young Dr. Malone: "Nurse, be sure to give the patient a nyx donnic noodle." A Washington an nouncer blew up with: "T h I comO to us (xi Cft usually reli able wlOle Ryse souses." Don't Ihinkoit hasn't bet a business doing pleasuQ with you. , M CAPITOL MEMO Communism vsl Democracy Study, Planned For Schools ' Editor's Note: This is the first of two parts on a proposal to 'Study democracy and com munism in Oregon public schools. By DOUGLAS GRIPP United Press International SALEM One of the best ways to point out to young people the evils of communism is to put democracy and communism side by side in the classroom and explain the difference, Dr. Leon P. Minear said recently. The state superintendent of pub lic instruction added that this is what he wanted to see in the Oregon public school systemSuch a project is in the making. A 44-page guide, for teachers- - titled simply "Democracy" and "Communism" has been de veloped by Parkrose School Dis- - trict No. 3 at Portland, at request of the State Education Depart ment. A pilot companion is called, "Our American Heritage." Minear has ordered 100 copies of each distributed this week to .every county library and county Happy Dreams It was a great disappointment to me to note the small coverage you gave the TV program (Anil Communist rally) in your paper. You and every other paper in the U.S. should have published the full text, verbatim, of every talk made during that program. In fact. It should be Tequired read ing for every man, woman and child in this country. People are complacently sitting on their thumbs: fat, dumb, and happy, while this insidious Commie poi son slowly seeps among them. And what do they care, as long as they have a few of life's crea ture comforts and are able to turn a fast buck once in a white? After listening to a few conver sations here and there, I learned All in Day's Work ! ACROSS 1 Chef's work S A irreenskeeper doee this I 8 Laundry's work 12 Heraldic band 19 Miiwr's work : 14 Whet t sailor works I IS Wan ; 18 ctfura 17 Roman road ! It Struck 30 Ba chary 21 Head part ' 22 Mimic ; 33 Haberdasher's work . 3e Boxed . 30 A lawmaker - doea Ihii I SI Union members 3 Spanish luff 4 Zoo workers 8 He worka transferring furniture 8 Mouthward 7 Molet 8 Food eeprer Italian city lOObeemd llDeer It Light touch 20 Health raoorts 22 Mimics 29 Asterisk 24 Detest 25 Ledger entry 28 Certain 27 Be borne 38 Ages pay it 35 Gershwin 39 Consumed 34 Rod! 35 Firrt man 36 Refret 38 Newsoaner man ! work tor It 38 Collet cheer 1 40 Baseball players UN II 41 Container 44 Dreasmaker OT milliner 48 Mja Bonheur 49 Garages work MIR 50 Kind tl Sleeping (IBrew 83 Opera sole. 84 Disorder 58 Couch0 M Short nets DOWN inwywork enforcing laws ISeoksa school superintendent, and to such groups as the Veterans of For eign Wars, Daughters of the American Revolution and the American Legion. From these groups, Minear wants "constructive suggestions" as to whether the proposals are on the right track. The teacher guides will then go before the State Board of Education for ap proval. Dr. Ben Simmons, director ot curriculum for the state depart ment, said it is possible that Parkrose Senior High School may get into 'the Democracy versus Communism class this winter. But the earliest it could be used by most Oregon high schools would be 1962. As proposed, it would fit into the modern problems class re quired of high school seniors. Teaching about the dangers of communism is not confined to Oregon. Simmons said that it is sweeping schools throughout the nation. Several states, including Letters To The that a large percentage of people became bored with the program, and shut off the TV, and went to bed. Happy dreams! Hie next time they wake up it might be the secret police pounding on their door at midnight, to escort them off to a slave labor camp. The Soviets won't have to shoot us to take over. It is half done al ready, and we have helped them along the way, knowingly or un knowingly. , The American public has been exposed to a daily dose of swill and brainwashing every day since World War II. A 10-ycar-old child could see through some of this "profound" diplomacy, indulged In by the fuzzy "thinkers," "econo mists" and "strategy experts" back in Washington. How many Answer to Previous Puiile 29 Barriers 91 Elan 34 Spoiled child 95 Skilled worker 37 Mountain nymphs 38 Cushion 40 Drilled 41 Stuff 42 Garment 49 Employs 44 Masculine 45 Rail 48 Journey 47 Greek letters 48 Tail I lftISIsM5plf I K It I? I U It 6 III jj-- jj pj ra U r- ST L-J i j! f-r ' ' ' a w h rpc n ih ia ST nFl -8" rpp rf n 14 u; a Sf ss n n S3 n a a I I I I I I I 1 I I I a Florida and Louisiana, have passed laws making the class mandatory. The guide offers such refer ence books as "The Communist Manifesto" by Karl Marx, books by Lenin, and two by Nikita S. Khrushchev. One is "The Crimes of the Stalin Era," the Soviet premier's report to the Congress of the Communist Party. The other is "Khrushchev For Vic tory in Peaceful Competitien with . Capitalism." Study of the Communist docu ments is counterbalanced by the study of books critically analyz ing them, and presenting democ racy's side. "The only way you can study Communist propaganda and the evil of it is to read it," Min ear said. "We can't put our heads in the sand, and I don't think we have. But school of ficials have asked us for material to present in classrooms, material approved by our department." Tomorrow: What the students would learn. Editor years will it take for these puerile State Department "experts" with rose-colored glasses to get the gen eral idea that negotiations are ut terly useless when conducted with an atheistic mob who hasn't hon ored a written signature in 40 years? It is a remarkably sad state of alfairs when a country as power ful as ours practically vomits and quakes in its boots every time Kroosh rattles a bomb. And Russia can't even make a decent ball-point pen! I am hoping for the day that (or just once, I can read a newspaper headline stating that we are on the offensive, and lots of good copy saying what we are doing, something besides talk, talk, etc. I say hand Kroosh an ultimatum that he start acting like a civilized being or he will get a world-wide embargo slapped on him. And then, if he doesn't com ply, go ahead and do it, not just sit around and talk about it. And make an automatic death sentence for any of our fast-buck citizens who persist in trading with the enemy. How many more billions of tax payers dollars will it take before ' the idea seeps through that we can't buy friendship? We are so worried about prestige abroad; be lieve me, we would have much more prestige if we sent all these billions over In the form of loans, at a reasonable rate of in terest. Even a teen-age child re spects his parents more if he has to pay bark money to them, than if it is donated as an outright gift. What, exactly, are we ac complishing, giving bi 1 1 1 o n s to all these pinks, such as Tito, Nehru, etc? Are we so naive as to think they would stand by us If tite situation roughened up? It is admitted In this day and age that patriotism has taken on a corny connotation. But,or God's Cf.ike, let's put the United States fist for a change. Ond forget this so-called prestige. If we don't snap out of this lethargy soon, and I repeat: soon, we all will be col lecting our rubles on payda.O-that Is, if there is a payday. S. T. Hanson. 446 Riverside Street. i sT - fwrri'nu''w LsTiifBktlsiwIBawawlw' By RAY CROMLEY Washington Correspondent Newspaper Enterprise Assn. WASHINGTON (NEA) - It's going to be a different Army by the time tbe research men get through. ' Army medics are looking for an electronic gadget that will diag nose sick Gls. The doctor would feed in the results of laboratory tests, X-ray shots, physical exam inations and his own observations. Out would come a precise diag nosis. If the machine couldn't make up its mind it would pro- duce a hatful of possible diagnoses along with a list of things the doc tor should do to find the answers for an accurate solution. The med ical men say the gadget should "assist, rather than replace, the diagnostician." The medics are also thinking of missiles as a way of getting wounded men quickly off the bat tlefield and back to hospitals 200 miles in the rear. They are looking into artificial hibernation by means of a chemical to keep wounded men in suspended animation so they won't "deteriorate", too badly be fore being treated thoroughly. The Army medical men are try ing to find a chemical that Gls can use to paint their hands and faces to artificially toughen them selves against wind, cold, sunlight and enemy gases. They're also looking for a "me chanical liver," an insect-repellent pill Gls can swallow and a way to immunize large groups of peo ple quickly with gases. The Army engineers want to develop a way to "efficiently" transmit electrical powers without wires. They want a chemical that can be sprayed in the air to cause bad operation of enemy high-voltage lines, but not to destroy them. . Object: to cut off power from enemy industry, but in such a way WASHINGTON WINDOW.. . Reds Fail To Rally Support In Contest By LYLE C. WILSON United Press International WASHINGTON (UPD -The Communist Party, USA, CPUSA challenged the' Kennedy brothers, . John and, Bobby, to a test of ' wills. This will be a noisy con . test because it Is the nature of Communists to shout and to scream in both pain and pro test. The CPUSA is in both as this test of wills begins. ' The challenge is this: .The CPUSA has announced that it will not abide by the 1961 ac tion of the U. S. Supreme Court ordering the party to obey the Internal Security Act of 1950. President Kennedy and his broth er. Atty. Gen. Robert F. Kennedy, are the officials responsible for enforcing the law. On June 5, 1961, the Supreme Court ruled that the CPUSA must register with the attorney general as an organization that is sub stantially dominated, directed and controlled by the Soviet Union. On Oct. 9, 1961, the court re fused to reconsider that order. From June to October CPUSA had mounted a defiant propagan da campaign seeking to influence the court to reverse itself or to persuade the President to declare the Internal Security Act to be unenforceable. The Communists called this a massive campaign to save the Bill of Rights. Their hope was that millions of Americans could be rallied to a propaganda cam- . paign in the defense of the Bill of Rights whereas not any would rise to defend the Com munist party against an act of Congress held by the Supreme Court to be constitutional. This Other Editors' ' Opinions ... Seasonal Note (The Christian Science Monitor) Have you ever noticed how dif ferent one fall season can be from another not so much in climate as in the way, for example, that the season announces itself? One year it chooses to shout a wild hello, waving a gaudy scarf, and comes rushing at you like a boy charging out of childhood into adolescence. In others the season presents itself as demurely as a girl in her first party dress. Sometimes you come upon it in scribing its signature on the air in the curves and flourishes of a brownish leaf borne skyward.' Again, you are informed of its presence by a retinue of chesty, chattering ambassadors on a bam ridgepole or a city parapet. It may be a matter of mem ory: there was an unaccountable calm over the fiver yesterday. Its surface was silky, glowing rather thapjshining under an oversurface of mist. And the stillness of yellow leags resting on the dark water under the silver vapor well, au tumn this year was just that, for Ql the thousand other things it might have beenjy Army - ' m that the power could be used to get industry going again immedia alely after United States force capture the territory. The engineers want "divining rod" devices that would discover underground watei supplies when nuclear attacks contaminated nor mal water sources. They're seeking some light foam that can be sprayed over a battle field immediately after a nucleaA attack to moderate the radiation make it possible for the U.S troops to safely, quickly move in' and occupy the area. They want another foam so strong it could be sprayed out and used for the rapid building of bridges. ;' The Quartermaster Corps wants to find some simple way to predict quickly what any given GI will do in extreme situations. They want to know his breaking point. ' The QMC men want to know what's the best thing to feed men , when they're under military1 stress. The idea: to develop a spe cial ration for front-line troops. They also want to find some; simple way to foretell which Gls; will do best in the desert heat,; which ones best in the Arctic cold.. That's so the Army can send the! best-suited men to any particular' battlefield. The Signal Corps researchers aim at developing completely un attended radio transmitting sta tions to save manpower, and fly ing platforms for short, quick in telligence missions. . The signalmen also want to de velop a telephone system on which military men speaking different languages can talk and have their words automatically come out in the language of, the man at the other end. This system is needed for the North Atlantic Treaty Organiza tion and for other armies which include units from several coun tries. effort to confuse the issue wal! a monumental flop. ! A Communist front called the! Citizens Committee for Constitu-J tional Liberties led this propagan da maneuver, seeking to enlist the financial and moral support) of non-Communists. The commit-' tee printed and circulated 50,000 postcards urging the President to direct the attorney general to agree to a rehearing of the case or to declare the act unenforce able. . . CCCL printed and mailed 20,000 ' copies of the dissenting opinion ! of Supreme Court Justice Hugo! Black. Black had argued that the ; CPUSA should not be required to; register. ; Also circulated were fact sheets by the thousands, bulletins and appeals for funds. In June top CPUSA functionaries organized the National Assembly for Demo cratic Rights. This front sum moned the public to protest tho Supreme Court's decision. The NADR met in New York Sept. 23-24 with about 3,000 per sons present to hear party lead ers denounce the law and re ject its requirements. Benjamin Davis Jr. promised that party bosses would spend, their lives in jail rather than, register. And jail it is veryj likely to be. Failure to register will makejr CPUSA officers liable to a five- year prison sentence and $10,009; daily fine. The deadline for reg-; istration is in November. Attor-' ney General Kennedy said: "We will enforce the law." Al manac Today is Monday, October 2.1, the 296th day of the year with 69 to follow in 196L The moon is full. j The morning star is Venus. ! The evening stars are Jupitert and Saturn. I ; On this day in history: ! In 1910, residents of Fort Wayne,' Ind., watched as Blanche Scott became the first woman to make a public airplane flight by her self. She rose to a height of 12 feet. In 1942, the British Eighth Army launched a huge offensive against Axis forces at El Alamein. Egypt, the beginning of the campaign that was (p sweep German and Italian forces out of North Africa in World War II. In 1953, voters in the Saar re jected a proposed statute to "Eu-; ropeanize" the tiny country and draw it more closely to France The referendum indicated that a large majority of Saarlandeis wanted to reunify with Germany. A thought for today: English journalist Henry Noel Brailsfo.d said: 'The musician who tries to rival the painter by describing external things is a magician who has thrown aside his wand . .