Then I realized: That's exactly what he
wants me to do!
"You'U see," I said quietly.
For many weeks I didn't get angry no
matter how insolent he was. I gently let him
know that I didn't approve of his "moods"
and his insolence and that I expected him to
change when he had time to get hold of him
self. I used no force and I didn't lecture. The
vision of some institutional "worker" trying
to make up to my son my own past deficien
cies steadied me in my new purpose.
The last big trial came during another
camping trip. We'd had a long hard drive and
everyone was edgy. My son flatly refused to
,do his share in setting up camp. "I don't
want to gather kindling," he said.
"I won't have you shirking your responsi
bilities," I answered angrily.
Members of my family looked at me in
surprise, but I was in no mood to heed them.
"Now get to work with the rest of us before
I become really angry," I said.
"See!" my son snouted as though he had
won a great victory. "I knew you wouldn't
keep your promise!"
He was right I had lectured him in front
of the family. I admitted my backsliding.
In the months that followed I didn't allow
myself to become angry no matter how hard
he tried me. When he had assured himself
that my new attitude was permanent, he set
tled down to respectful behavior.
Today, as long as I remember to keep our
discussions on a friendly basis, and in pri
vate, everything goes fine. When I forget
and become even slightly indignant, back
sliding occurs.
I don't know what would have happened if
I hadn't found it necessary to learn about
juvenile rebelliousness. I might have found a
solution in some other way. My son might
have matured to the point where he could
accept the fact that his angry father really
loved and respected him. But I doubt that.
Probably the best that could have happened
is that I would have given in to advice to
consult a good psychologist.
I was thinking these things over the other
day as I prepared to write this article. My
son came into the den to ask me to play
ping-pong with him.
"Son," I said, walking out to the game
room with him, "I want to ask you a question
so I can put your answer in the article. How
do you think parents should behave?"
"Firm but quiet."
- "You know how I like children to behave?"
"No."
"Just like you."
"Thanks," he said warmly. "But," he added
with a thoughtful smile, "I must admit you've
had your problems with me."
"Whatever problems I've had with you
were very small," I said.
After all, the basic problem was with me.
HOW TO
RAISE A BOY
A GUIDE TO NEW FATHERS)
Giue Him Lots of Core. . . . Teach Him to Think for Himtelf
Asy'
1
And to be Confident. . . . Give Lots of Advice.
Financial Assistance. .
A Hull!' ,0 177 ''sS
Stand by Him When Necessary. . . H'P Spoil Any New ArrivaU.
it. 4?
And. If You're Lucky, You'U
Have it All to do Over Again.'
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