Herald and news., July 27, 1958, Page 36, Image 36

axia Quotes
Now!
Pooior euror
.t L V
A wealthy man, returning after years
to the slum neighborhood of his youth,
saw a group of dirty youngsters play
ing baseball in the street. They were
dressed in rags and touched the old
man's heart.
"Come along with me, children," he
said. "I'm going to get you all complete
new outfits."
They dutifully paraded to the finest
men's wear shop in the area where the
old man watched happily as each was
outfitted in Ivy League suits, tiny
fedoras, and bright new shoes.
The pleased expressions on the chil
dren's faces were reward enough for
the old man except for one case. This
youngster had looked sad from the be
ginning and as they left the clothier,
the child broke into tears.
"What's the matter," asked the old
man, "don't you like your new suit,
little boy?"
"That little boy," piped up one of
the other kids, "is named Alice."
Journal of the American Medical Assn.
A widow ordering
a tombstone in mem
ory of her late hus
band had this in
scription put on it:
"Rest in Peace Till
I Get There."
Lion
And then there was
the wolfish business
man who had to get
rid of his lady lawyer
because she lost her
appeal.
"Good for you! I also broke a hundred today!"
There was a songwriter
in Russia who com
posed a catchy tune
titled "Moon over
Moscow." The day
after it was published,
the secret police paid him
a visit. The leader
thrust a sheet of music at
the composer and de
manded, "Tell us,
comrade, is this our moon
or theirs?"
Phoenii Flame
ji-.- r ..
I'll Start Tomorrow
Here's why, alas, I'm gaining
weight
Where formerly I wasn't:
The daily dozen I should do
fear I daily doesn't.
Dick Emmons
L Jl
J
Some wives will put
up with a lot, but
most of them want to
start building the house
right away.
Ken Kraft
Listen, Young Lady!
Though money can't buy
happiness,
One tip I will bequeath her
To keep within her pretty head:
That poverty can't either.
Colleen Hynes Johnson
Deft-initions
A boy: noise with dirt
on it.
Married man: one who
cleans the windshield
before going to a drive
in movie.
Married life: one un
darned thing after another.
Family Weekly. July 27, 195
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Oh, this upset stomach
in-laws
coming
for dinner!
and my
I know how you feel, Lou.
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TU HMfitil ThM rifti-Minil. . . ant tttl fttt iitln!
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eismof