Doyle's Column
Doctor Routs Columnist's
Wife On Cigar Question
By HAL BOYLE
NEW YORK, Feb. 12 (P) If
I came homo and told my wife
I had Juet murdered a man she
would reply:
"I won't talk to you until you
take that cigar out of your
mouth."
The things the hates most in
4h wnrlri are ciaars and tooth-
Elcks. When I try to tease her
y telling her that in China the
high class ladies and gents think
nothing ot picking their teeth in
public holding their left palm
under their nose to protect in
nocent bystanders from richo
chets she counters witheringly:
"That probably explains the
shape China's in."
I don't go in for toothpicks,
but I never turned a man in to
the police for giving me a cigar.
I learned to smoke in Ger
many. I tried cigarets but didn't
like them. Next I experimented
with a Belgian clay pipe. This
I gave up as inefficient; if a man
really wants to drink nicotine
he can do it quicker through a
straw.
Then the GIs overran a Ger
man liquor and tobacco supply
dump and some correspondents
brought back a lot of cigar
boxes, using them as wedges to
kee., a jeepload of cognac bottles
from breaking.
We tried the cigars after the
cognac. They were ersatz and
about as far from Havana as a
cigar can get. Probably made
from the same woodpulp that
produced the Wehrmacht s sau
sages. Anything Free
But wartime teaches you to
latch on to everything free, and
the pine-flavored cheroots were
there for nothing in unlimited
quantities.
I came home a confirmed cigar
addict only to find Frances had
given up smoking. That's mar
riage seesaw, teeter-totter. Five
years ago I used to groan when
she lit a cigaret she never
learned to inhale and now she
sprints for the other room when
I start de-cellophaning a cigar.
FOR SALE
SEED
POTATOES
Grown in Utah, 5200 Ft.
ELEVATION. VIRGIN SOIL.
Certified and common, one
drop and cut size. Booking
orders now, subject to ocean
sida test. For prices and sam
ple, call
JOE MICKA
Phone MALIN 131
I can't Inhale yet either. Makes
me cough if I do.
I've found cigars good for a
lot of things besides smoking.
If a strange big dog comes growl
ing at me, I blow a double
mouthful of smoke at him. He
runs away.
Some people have quit invit
ing us to their homes. They're
choosy people. I don't like
choosy people. I'd rather slay
home and smell up my own
apartment.
Other advantages:
(1) If a long-winded bore cor
ners me, I light up the foulest
cigar in my armory. When his
eyes begin to water, he gives
up and goes back to the mar
tini table.
(2) As long as I am pouring
out clouds of cigar smoke when
my boss passes the desk he
thinks I am working.' At least
I think he is thinking I am
thinking.
(3) Cigars save buying ash
trays. The ashes fall on your
vest. Some wives whose fathers
smoked cigars are more tolerant.
My wife's father didn't even
smoke cubebs.
She lured me with her re
cently to her doctor. I thought
it was the usual thing he
would write her out a prescrip
tion for some pills and they'd
gab for half an hour about the
opera, and I'd get the bill. But
no.
Tm worried about my hus
band," said the asp I love. ''He's
been nervous lately." ,
"I am " I started to denv.
but Frances stopped me with
more or less tender: i
Shut up, you!
THAT PROFESSIONAL TOUCH
YONKERS, N. Y., Feb. 13 A)
William Joslyn, 73, backed up to
a stove to loosen an adhesive
plaster on his back. When his
shirttail caught fire brother
George Joslyn, 70, threw a pail
of water on him, and these goings-on
brought policemen, fire
men and ambulance attendants,
who agreed he should go to a
hospital. There, a nurse got
the adhesive off in jig time.
HOT TIP
NEW YORK, Feb. 13 (PI
A taxi driver, puzzled when a
young man tipped him $10 at
Grand Central terminal and told
him to "keep your mouth shut.
decided to check up. He went
to the Park avenue candy shop
where the passenger had made
a stop, and learned the store
had been robbed of $230.
"I figured something was
phony when he came out of the
store," the cabbie told police.
He had no candy.
The doctor probed, punched,
assayed my eyeball color and
wind pressure.
"I think he's been amok "
Frances began, when the doc
broke in:
"Nothing much the matter. He
needs to take it easy for a while.
See that he gets more rest.".
Me wrote me out some Pills
and tnen puiiea out a big twenty-
tive cent cigar ana nanaed it to
me.
"Relax, he said. "You're all
right."
mhbsuib sr
CRATER LAKE DISTRIBUTING CO.
i
F4tVA THE UlAEARSMi
OUD CHEESE DlfiilEn THAT IS REALLY
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yr try Mission Macaroni and Cheese Dinner! It's
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Macaroni and you'll agree it's the best yon're
Ter tasted! Ifa easy to scire, too, for it cooks
ia fust 9 minutes and prorides a delicious meal
. h-a-diih for four. Try it- today!
(3
rfaflXiim SPAGHETTI;
There's no spaghetti quite like Mission, for this true
Italian Spaghetti is richer, firmer, and more delicious!
If s easy to prepare, quick to cook, and is firm and
tender after cooking-. Keep sereral packages on hand
and treat your family often to real Italian Spaghetti,
the spaghetti that's extra good to the rery last bite!
YOUR GROCER HAS IT!
W mm - am aa
TRY MISSION SPAGHETTI TONIGHT!
SUPERBLY .AltW9C. SUPERBLY
COOKED SERVED
Klamath Falls' Finest Italian Restaurant
Gilchrist HS
Annual Ready
GILCHRIST. Feb. 13 All
students of Gilchrist high school
had their "Sunday best" clothes
on February 8 and 6 when a pho
tographer from Klnmnth Falls
came to take individual nor
traits and pictures for the school
annual.
The editor of the annual, Vio
let Freeman, and her stuff plan
to have the copy comptotcd nnd
sent to the publisher by the 2Htn
of this month with all details in
order. The staff has been work
ing long and hord in order that
the annual material will be sent
in to the publishers In plenty of
time for students to receive their
copies before the close ot the
school year. May 23.
SOUVENIR
CHENEY, Wash.. Feb. 13 P)
The chunk of metal which rat
tied out of Arthur Bichl's clari
net case after an Eastern Wash
ington College of Education
practice was not an extra mouth,
piece.
It was a piece of shrapnel im-
M uk ma V",.jJ
Miirr in iarama
TM Ml
4t yws ftaet mt
Group Psychology
Authority Dies
NEWTON, Mass., Fob. 13 Ml
Dr. Kurt Lewln, 56, director ot
the research center for group
dynamics at the Massachusetts.
Institute of Technology and In
ternationally known authority
on group psychology, died lust
night. He was born In Mogllno,
Germany,
HOOVER IN VIENNA
BERLIN, Feb. 13 Ml Her
bert Hoover carried his survey
of Europe's food needs today to
Vienna, where ho was scheduled
to confer for three days before
proceeding to Rome.
The for-mer president conclud
ed inspection of western Ger
many's situation yesterday.
bedded in the wood case since
the student's navy days on Sui-pan.
Veterans To
Sponsor Dance
An announcement of Interest
to tha dancing public ut this
community was released today
by the Overseas Veterans Build
ing commission, acting In the
Interesttl of Pelican post KtH;t,
Veterans of Foreign Wars of t lie
United States.
Beginning Suturdav nigh t,
February IS, dances will bo held
ul the Klamath Falls armory
every Saturday night from I) to
1 under tho sponsorship of tha
VFW and managed by (lie build
ing commission. The dances
which have been operated under
these auspices at Duncelund for
the past four years have been
discontinued, effective February
8. Present plans call for the es
tablishment of a temporary club
IIIBAI.D NKWS. KUm.lt r.lli, Or.. TW'Bnt, r... II, lilt. .. SUM
for post members at tho Klam
ath avenue locution.
Mimic ut the armory will be
supplied by (he popular Dance,
musters who have lieen playing
the Diincclaud dances fur somu
time. Admission prices remain
tho same.
Missing Man
Found Alive
A....IU... I... I II, a
nnuiiit i ii, i ,m i ii ii ...I
missing list by the. Klamath Me
morial committee, has been
cleared through a request made
lltla tiinnlr thrmiuli Tim llft-Illl!
and News, when Gale Uecklmm
was reported "sufo and stumd" ,
and living In Klamath Fulls, -d
Heckham was a prisoner for
three years, held by the Japs at
Miinchukuo, China, lie returned
homo In February, 1H4II. aftdr
leaving here In HMO. Ills
mother, Mrs. Marie Heckham
Pryor, lives at 11103 Siskiyou.
TRUCKS AND PICKUPS
FOR RENT
You Drivs-Lona, Short Trips
Movt Younelf Save li
STILES' BEACON SERVICE
Phone 1304 1301 East Main
IN BOTTLES AND AT FOUNTAINS
v n a . w0,rK
Ptpri-Cola Company, ton) I, land City, S. Y.
francbised Bottler: Klamath Falls Pepsi-Cola Bottling Co.
Careful
Workmanship
Quality Parts
Full Guarantee
of Satisfaction
Oil- m Ju.l II. o.v. I Ml
ynr WAli'h In llrh Lck .h.M
l.ln. rival ou.lllr Url.fr
MrU
Engraving Whlla You
Wait
Immadlatt Ring
filling
Bud fc Paarl Rs-
trlnglng
m ul
anuiua - i
RVIN5
, 7111 MAIN ST.
1 mymt CXwljn &Mn Ouprf
tm
mm
"r rJ j- t II r J r-IIJ n . il Ii II I I I I 1
rcmgg ama ciajr
ft. Jfaotv tVsiWf OmLuk.!
Texas Tip. 46-os. tin
18c
Clorox Bleach . ..no, 19c
Honey P S. Fancy. 1 lb, jar ....
39c
k II . English Maid brand Af
PlinCvNlwdl makes grand piesl 30-os. Jar 0DL
Grapefruit Juice T.w 0, c.021c
Tomato Juice sun,r P.,n w. c.n25c
Pimento Chilies v Pc,n19c
Sauerkraut
Highway brand..
No. 2)4 can
12c
TV-re k nothini; quite tiVe a fttntifms servMfj tf
j?ilkn ri)c KfMIH-'fmit r a larv glassful o( Innpy grapo
(rutl juice to pork "P apiwtiies these mornings.
M;ike Krupefruit a reRiil.ir feature at your break last
liihle. 11 s welcome at other mc.ils, too. use rt in appe
tizers, al.ids and de$.icrts. Get some of ihis coldcn fruil
at Safeway today while rt is at its peak ol goodnasa..
Give I he family all ihev want.
5C
GRAPEFRUIT
1.75 JS 3.49
Half
Box
Per
Lb.
7c
TamsM tUk
GRAPEFRUIT
i.b. 10c
LEMONS, too, ore Plentiful!
(law W hof warn W II if A
u naular, loo. MaM H l J if
am konaV m n 4 III I
Tiolr rooulor wM. ihcK M
lomon u4o wiH hip kMp you i
hooil i Imp m bowl ol lomoM
hoop N lull no ot Ihov'n
AVOCADOS
m-sIPMED CAUT
CAUUTL0WEI
tlOWT WRtTt UM
CARROTS
0 T0PWUSH U CIBPT
Lb. 39c
tb 12c
Lb.
7e
POTATOES
poqlo 'WO payoff i ' 'COW mm
n ffcitvt dol(or-tfr(hr tor vw
m m m htlp in Mducna 14 iwr.
tUv woo. Tnr yo of Cool tofc'
iowo ("octpoip fodoiio
. I.Nkts
b0.0,!!:... 3.29
80lb.
ik
m. r
1.03
Edwards Coffee, Mb. 44c, 2-lb. 87e
Nob Hill Coffee, l ib. 39c, 2-lb. 77c
Airway Coffee, Mb. 37c, 3-lb. 1.10
Chase & Sanborn Coffee,
I -lb. con 46c
Instant Coffee, Borden's,
2J4-0?:. 39e
Canterbury Tea, Orange Pekoe,
Black, 1-lb. pkg. 85c
Upton Black Tea. .'2-lb. pkg. 51c
Hershey's Cocoa ....1-lb. size 23c
Cocomalr, chocolate beverage,
1-lb. 43c
Noodles, Porter, 8-oz.,
Wide Fril-lers 16e
1-lb. pkg 26c
Spaghetti; Golden Grain, pre
pared .No. 1 can 10c
Spaghetti, Blue Ribbon prepared,
16-oz. jar 10c
Sandwich Spread, Lunch Box,
16-oz. jar 33c
Salad Dressing .32-oz. 57c
Red Hill Catsup WA-oz. 19c
Heinz Ketchup, 14-oz. bottle 22c
Tomatoes, Gordenside, Standard,
No. 2Vi can 25e
Tay Cleaner, New; 28-oz. pkg. 25c
Old Dutch Cleanser,
14-oz 2 for 23e
VnikOittantttttA.
Cracked Wheat Bread, 1
Graham Crackers, Honey
1-lb. pkg
Ritz Crackers, Very Tasty,
1-lb. pkg.
Soda Crackers, Krispy,
1-lb. pkg
Kemps Salted Peanuts,
8-oz. pkg .
Wheatena 22-oz.
Popped Corn, Gem-Fried, gol.
Shredded Ralston, 12-oz. pkg.
Post Taasties 1-pz.
Is it ever too late te elope?
mS "OMAKCt MFMtfD"
i rrtnorr iuohfl Mm
ororr fTMi ncinn
Mori inlarojllnf arllclol
l ,u.
NOW AT SAHWAT 5
lb. 16c
Maid,
25e
Baking Powder cg- S- 25c
Baking Chocolate X:; 19c
Gingerbread Mix "ZT T23c
Famowt Whit Flour
Sperry Drilttd Snow,
Kitchen CraJt
2Mb. k. il.CS M-lb. ik. iM
Lux
29e
24c
27e
22c
49c
14c
11c
Toilet Soap
21c
Reg.
2 for
umr
Gloss Starch
12t pica. IP
Ciguettes
'1.33
PI pi O Wmhlnfton, lb. nn
Tbiera Prlrtc Albert, lb. Ilo
CHERUB CANNED MILK
14'i-oi. .... 4 Cans 49c
American Cheese Kri
American Cheese
Superior
rt it.
1 " '
SoupM
Beef-Noodle Soup, Campbell's,
lOVz-oz. can , 16e
Chicken Soup, Campbell's,
lO'i-oz. can -. 16e
Cream of Tomato Soup, Heinz,
1 1-oz. can 12e
Tomato Soup, Campbell's,
lO'i-oz. can 10e
Vegetable Soup, Campbell's,
lO'i-oz. can 13e
Apricot Halves, Highway,
Unpeeled No. 2Vi can 28c
Royal Ann Cherries, Sun Pak,
- No. 2Vi can 39e
Blend-O'Gold Juice.. No. 2 con 10c
Fancy Grapefruit, Glennaire,
No. 2 can 17e
Higfway Half Peaches,
No. 2Vi can 27e
Bart left Pears, Green Tag,
Halves No. 2'z can 33e
Choice Prunes, Red Tag,
No. 2Vz can 23e
Tkii ad it eleclivt TtmouM tAriMmvf - FrmVAy K
These cuts are guaranteed good-eating or money back'
55'
a -.VllCS 4
nil . " a
Pork Link Sausages lb.45e
Sirloin Steaks c'w lb.(5e
Beef Pot Roasts VV lb. 39c
Fricassee Fowl ui Cot Dp
Fryen
Cul-Up ud lictil.d
Kt.dr lot Ih. pn
ItOaSieiS . iMdr to tout ,
lb.57(
lb. 6?
lb.67(
Salmon Steaks '
steel. rru
HEADS U. 9TT
Halibut Steaks
Firm, uniform CftTa '
slices u. ;
Medium Oysters i
60c
fins for itsws
or f rlsi I
Plat