The Evening herald., May 25, 1920, Page PAGE TWO, Image 2

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TH1 tVPtWO HERALD. KLAMATH FALLS. OREGON
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POTPOURRI
I STEAKS
CHOPS 1
hi
n I.ONK HTAIl
1
1
Wo notice where some genius back
In Washington suggested that nil
Hie negro porters on trnlni bo re
placed by old Indies so that tho col
ored brethren could bo put to mor
useful employment. A fine outfit
that would be. Whot do old mnlds
know About "berth control," any
how? II
BAKRITE BREAD
WWNAMAMM
in
'
lit
n
THE REX CAFE
IS NOW READY TO RETAIL
"BREAD, PIES, FRENCH PASTRY
AND ALL OTHER HIGH CLASS
PASTRIES TO THE PUBLIC. ON
SALE AT THE MAZE CONFECTION
ERY STORE, PALACE MEAT MAR
KET, THE REX CAFE.
II ore's n good definition we heard
tho other day, "one dniuncd fool nf-
X ! ler another."
'4
I THE REX CAFE
TnlklliK about love, tho tiond
Hook nays we nhoutd love our neigh
bors a ourselves. Wo tried that
once und hor husband cunio homo
nnd caught us, and wo are In a post.
Hon to say that It will not work.
II
A lady friend of ours ennui up to i
tu tho other day nnd asked us whnt
kind of s husband wo would suggest
that she plrkNiut. Wo told her Hint '
she had better leave the tunlmmb
nlone and pick out n single man.
FISH
OYSTERS
The Great Thinf About Real Tobacco"
says the Good Judge
Jimmy Hynn and the Lone Star
went Into tho Owl Cnfo the other
night to get dinner. Turkey was on
the bill of faro so wc ordered turkey.
Turning to Jimmy, the l.ono Star
said: "Jimmy, bow can you toll
the ngo of a turkey?"
"By the teeth." replied Jimmy.
Well, but n turkey has no teeth,"
said we.
"No but I have," replied James
with a smite.
i
I
Is that it tastes so good,
and a little chew lasts so
much longer than the
old kind.
The good, rich tobacco
taste stays right with
this class of tobacco.
That's why It costa you
les3 to chew It.
Any man who usc3 the
Real Tobacco Chew will
tell you that.
jut up in two styles
SIGHT dtT Is U short-cut tobacco
W-B GUT is a long fine-cut tobacco
w f '
While Jimmy and I sat there eat
Ins we got Into conversation about
women, and we took Issue a to
whether women were more Intolll
Kent than men. We claimed that a
man w- the more Intelligent of the
two, but Jimmy wouldn't have It
so. "Why," said James, "of course i
a woman Is more Intelligent than a
man. When a man gets bald he
buys hair tonic, but when a woman
gets bald sho buys hair." Itlght
you are, Jimmy."
Then Jimmy asked
question. He wanted
! I
SOVIET ASK CHINA
TO BANISH EXILES
PEKIKO. April 23. (By
The Soviet authorities at
Siberia, have asked tho Chinese gov.
crnment to banish from China tie
diplomats and consuls of the Old
naaaian government wno nave con-
tUued to live In Chins since the ov
erthrow of Emperor .Nicholas. Tho
request Is signed by M. Janson, del
egate of the Council of Commissaries
la Siberia and the Far East.
The Soviet note declares that
these dtplomatsand consuls still are
being supported by the payment to
them by the Chinese of that portion
of the Boxer Indemnity alloted to
Rassla but this source of support
payments or that indemnity. The
Soviet note adds:
'The powers given to these offl-
jcers of the former Emperor have
Hall.) long ceased to exist but the officers
Irkutsk, continue to live In their houses and
to fool the Chinese with the assist
ance of Japan and the Allies, The
Chinese people should
us another '
to know If
Moses ever had the rheumatism. We
Informed the noble James that we
were not In a position to say wheth
er Old Moses had ever had an attack
of rheumatism or not, and Inciden
tally asked Kyan what put that Into
his bead.
"Well replied James, "we read
that the Lord gavo him two tablets."
Bluebeard of I.ps Angeles Is now
In San Qucntln and bis number Is
33755. Add those figures together,
will you? Funny, ain't It?
Now is Your Chance to
Cut Down Your
Expenses
The Central Hotel
will rent a limited number of rooms o permanent guests. These
rooms are furnished with the best beds that money can buy. They
are clean, tidy and well ventilated, and will be kept so.
There will be hot and cold water, tub and shower baths.
Restaurant and barber shop will be in the building and everything
will be done to make it comfortable, convenient and homey.
The Hotel is now open for business. The restaurant and
barber shop will be ready early in June.
The purpose back of this hotel is to furnish to the workingman
of Klamath Falls a place where he can live decently and cleanly
and at a price that will be within his reach. The owners of this
hotel feel that they have done this.
J. J. KELLER, Manager
i
We met a returned soldier outside
MacDonald's pool hall the other
day. This poor fellow had Just re
turned from Europe and had not
had the opportunity to get a bath
and a change yet. We noticed him
take cognlz.pc)InB 0methlng out of his neck.
steward handed the pill roller the
bill, he asked "how did you And the
steak?"
t "Oh," replied the pill roller. "I
1 moved one of the French fried po
tatoes and found it under there."
In fact," continued the great
monre, "I'm one of you."
com-1 Talking about politics, did you iv
' er nutlre how Wilson signed the Vol-
I.
stead Act on Thursday und beat It
putting' ,or Europe on Friday?
""" ol ,n,, ,a" anu Dlnln ", then out of his hair, and then out of
linn nnil fnntsi tmm hntt- tasslt a v ' ' . ... . ...
... ...... awt sows . IVIUtU;i
The theory that twins ore not so
much separate Individuals ns ono In
dividual split In two receives curious
confirmation from the fact that there
are many cases on record of twins '
dying within a few hours or days of j
one another. When the second does
not die of the sime disease he or the
Crape-Julco llrynn was addressing
about 5,000 women In Chicago the
other day and as usual the air was
ftlll nf his tlvnrv nmfnrv Thn miill.
enco which wero nearly nil old mnlds '"""U,-
was carried off Its feet when Grope
i julco remarked "Indies, I want tn
Maybe someone bad been
raisins In the old man's grape Juice. ' "
While wn am on the prohibition
subject good many people until that
Talking about old maids. Honut would bring sunshine Into msny a
tlmu ago the Lone Hlsr was nnxlous, ,, t ,,, And moonshine nlso.
to get a good dWInlilon of what an'
his head again. Ilclng rather Inter
ested, l.ono Star venturtd the ro
mark In a Joking way: 'Ticking
ihnm mil arm"
"N'aw," returned tho soldier "tak-'," ou ,nat ' nm 'or you 'rom ,nc' Incidentally you can drive 3 horse
Ing them as they come." ' " ' ray neai1 t0 ,n0 ,0,e al mJr 'co,-l lo "" hut n pencil must bo lead.
! old maid was, so he looked It up In
, the dictionary and this Is what he
"An old muld Is a muld Mints
been made n long time."
dtos for no particular reason, as far
woaia be cut off by the soviet gov-1 as the doctors can see simply heart
rament'a renunciation of further failure.
P --irii ri rn-in rvin.ru Li i.i
m-m --r--i-r'.-.-mnnnnnni'Ln.n.n.iijuuLii n
Big Hard Time Dance
At Fort Klamath Opera House
FRIDAY EVENING, MAY 28, 1920
Music by Klamath Fall Peerless Orchestra
Supper served at Fort Klamath Hotel
Prizes for Best Garb
CORDIAL INVITATION TO ALL
tfMWM
'--------- Vi'itwivmnnrjiAjLiui.
A little fellow walked Into Law
rence I'hejps grocery storo yester-'
day and, throwing a box of matches'
on tho counter, said: "Sly mammy I
says theso rnatchesln't no good and j
she wonts her money back. '
Lawrence took tho box and looked
at It, trying to discover what the'
trouble was. "Well, what's tho'
matter with tho matches?" asked
('helps.
"They won't strike." said the kid.
Lawrence took a match out of the
box and rnlped his sfoot and struck I
It. This he did with several match-1
es and, finding thorn all right, turn-)
ed to tho little follow and said:
"Why, these matches aro all right,
son; they all strike."
Yes," rplM the kid. "hut If you
think my mamma Is coin' to come up
here to strike a mutch on your shoo,
ovary tlmo Hhe wants a light, you're
crazy."
Tho kid got tho nlckol.
NEW YORK CONCERT TRIO
Three Brilliant Artist Musicians Coming to
Chautauqua on tke Second Day
iBHswpr
ijk vST
VOUll FI.VKHT
V V It .V I T U II K
pictures, china, cut Klaus,
etc., will bo safely transfer
red to your now home if we
do the moving. Our men
aro skilled handlers of fine
household effects and are as
careful as they "ore expert.
The usual loss incurred.ln
many movlngo will bo en
tirely eliminated if we are
entrusted with the work of
removal. Phone call.
Western Transfer Co;
roa kttia
rfcpa l7l. Hat.
MMIMrfMIVMMniMMM lfMft
A cortaln womnn wo know Is suf
fering from tho .hallucination that
she Is a wonderful singer. Sho does
n't sine any mora howover an sho
says peoplo don't recognlso tho henu
ty of her voice. This Individual was
In Los Angolcs Home tlmo ago, and
while thcro consulted a famous volco
teacher nnd after giving him an ox-
ample of what she could do said,
"well Professor don't you think my
voice ought to bo brought out?"
"No," replied the teacher, "pushed
back."
Pill Roller Pope, one of the genial
proprietor! of the Star Drug com
pany, Is some boy. The Lone Star
and be were eating dinner on 'a din
ing ear the other day. aad vaea the
. i Jac
I fF " V' y cv
11 y lllaiBiBsH vjflr 11
MlU . . ., J BT. I Vh Z""il
rlw JelaMJr 1 TSL -Csv
Then there life lots of people who
say Ihnt whiskey Is the downfull of
mnny n man, so the country did
right In cloning up all the saloons.
Well so Is u hannna skin, but that'll
no reason why wo should close up all
the fruit stands.
In Knglnnd no legal formalltlis
nru necessary for a change of nnmn.
A person may cull himself by nn)
nimc he pleases, nnd limy change his
name as often as hu likes, provided
such changes aro not mado from
fraudulent or Improper motives.
The Now York Concert Trio, which comes to Chautauqua on the eeand
day, occupies u conspicuous place In the splendid list of musical attractions
for the week. Every ono of tho threo member of tho company Is an artist
who has won recognition in their particular fields of musical endeavor.
May Elizabeth lives, violinist, has achieved concert successes both In this
country and abroad, She returned to Europe lust yenr ngnln to play for our
boys In France and Belgium, 8be Is unquestionably ono of the nest artlsfs
ever presented to western Chautauqua audiences, Iluth Beverly Cutnmlng.
soprano, possesses a voice of pure gold. She Is considered by eastern critics
aa having one of. the most ereBlsteK voices among the sopranos of the.yoafiger
fenfiauea, Lowsll PsHea,iBtaalst. Is a brUUant selelst aad aeeompajsjet
XOTICK OK Pl.VAb HKTTLKMKNT
Notlco Is hereby given thnt the
undersigned lm filed In tho County
Court of tho Statu of Oregon, for
Klamath County tho final account of
his administration of tho Kstnto of
John J. Lcckmon, deceased, and said
Court has fixed Juno 21, 1920, at
2:30 o'clock p. in. ns thn tlmo and
thn Court lloom of said Court as tho
plnco for tho hearing of said final
account, and for tho settlement
thereof,
n. o. anoKfliiKCK,
Administrator nf (Iiq Kslato of
John J, Lockmon, deceased.
Muy HJ-25-1-8-1S
MADAME IOINA
KNOW VOKIl lUTtllti:
consuit oiii:io'H hkht
World's urontost Clairvoyant nnd
r'almlHt, I'llrololoKls unit Medium.
Horn with double veil.
Heads your on tiro life, pnst, pres
ent and futuro; advises on buslnoNS
ipoctilulloiiH, lovers' iiuarrols; ro
unites tho soparatad; when and
whom you will marry; how to win
tho ono you lovo and ulso ovnrcomo
nil enemies; gives secrets how to con
trol or Influonco any one you lovo or
moot. Tolls full names of any one
you care to know. Her advdeo has
saved and mado thousands. Why
not you? Aa a seer and Interpreter
of hidden treasures she has no equal.
see nor at once, this aod-glven.
gifted lady. All business confidential.
uaiiy readings, including Bundar.
Hours 10 a. m. to 8 n. m. Perma-
nently located'!. O. O. T. building.
8 Main 8t,, Klamath Falls, Ore.
IMQ