ABOUT WOMEN FOLKS
nothing They Ever Do Astonishes
Deacon Spooner.
MEN FOLKS TAKE CHANCES.
Whn a feller Thinks Hs's Get U
Knew Hi Wifa About as Well
Che Knows Hrlf Ho'o Sound (o
Get Jar," Say Deacon
Opyrihl. IW7. by R. C. raroells.)
I wnmi't n lilt aMouli!." aalil
pe.x-on KMMiiicr na ho ant down nn the
4ntii!n an-M at Jericho t wnlt for
the iiihII t" ,ini ln-"no, air, I wasn't
.a Ml mmIoiiInIhmI when Umdui-I Fair
iMiuka came over thl afternoon to
where I wiim work I nil In the garden
and mi I.I tlmt life wife bad ruq away.
Nothing tlmt women folks ever do aa
toulitie ma.
A tviimiiii may turn out to be an i
or mih in 11 y turn out to a
farimhnii initio.
I he fi ller who marries 'em tin got
to til til" chimces.
"When it feller think he's K"t to
know IiIm wife alwiut aa well n "lie
7, -. J
"una hat wiih hbm rarr vr iif anutiikh
CMAIM ANII MAII KHK WM X OOIMU TO
1H hO MOIIK WOHH."
know herself he's bound to get a jar.
Ho'a IkhiiuI to And out tlint ho don't
know her at all.
'Take a tioif. now, and you ran fiud
out alt about him In an hour. He was
lioru a Iiok. aud he'a going to atay one
till you turu him Into pork. You can
leHnd uhi him until you start to
drive him somewliere.
"It don't take a feller long to Imirn
the wa.va of a cow. Klio'll either Jump
fence or "he won't. Khe'il either kick
the milking mill over or alio won't
She'll either nettle down and grow fat
or she'll lie trcHpasxIng all over the
field and le n thin a a rail.
"I've Kot a yoke of oxen ten years
old. I've known the critters ever sluce
they wa yri'n". ! knoc? Just what
they will or they won't d$ under anrtlu
arcumNtant'es. If there's solid ground
and It's a hit downhill under their
feet they'll hump themselves to pull
an oak tree up by the' root. If It'a
oft ground aud uphill they won't pull
bard nuff to bring a towel off the
clothesllue.
"I've got an old boss sixteen year
old. I learned his ways before he wo
four. If he get the line under hi
tall when I'm driving he' going to
kick. C an't say why, but he'll do It.
If lit) meet a flock of aheop In the
road he' going to bust for the fence,
one ldo or t'other. Can't aay how h
reasons, but nway he'll go, end some
thing will lo smashed. I know him
from bend to tall, and I drive him ac
cordingly. Can Understand Most Men.
"A feller can understand most men.
If Ix-inucl Jackson any he'll bring me
a tou of hay tomorrow nt $10 tho to
I'm going to depend on It. If I'lirlus
Taylor says he'll sell mo a bur'l of pork
next fall I'm feeling us siifo a If the
bar'! was already la tho cellar. I've
come dowu hero to Tap rcrklns' gro
eery and postotllco every night of my
life for tho last twenty years. Tap
baa alius beeu the aaiue. He wus the
eauio tho day his wlfo got bit by a
mad dog. He was the same when he
fell off a loud of hay and broke hi
leg. The rest of you arc Jest tho same.
.We've all had cbanoes to be meaner 'o
plzen toward each other, but we hain't
taken advantage of 'em.
"But when you come down to wom
en folka that's different. When I was
twenty-five I thought I understood 'em
and would have bet a cow agin a
Iamb I did, but 1 ain't talking that
way now. I'm Jest suylng that tbej
are a puzzle, aud I wouldn't bet on
'em nohow.
"I ain't saying nothing but what you
all know when I say that I'm living
with my fourth wife. Some folks have
been kind 'nuff to say that It'a two
too many, but I reckon It'a as one feels
about It
"I thought my tlrst wife wus an
angel. Used to run In on her ut all
times when courting, but always found
ber as placid as a mlllpond. Never
showed the slightest temper, not even
when she stumbled over a bog Said
that If anything happened to me she'd
commit suicide. Lord, but If any one
bad told me that I didn't know that
gal I'd have answered that he'd better
(0 to the lunatic asylum.
"We'd beeu married four weeks
when she pulled out a handful of my
aide whiskers because I stepped on her
corn.
"We'd beeu married eight when she
eald she wished I wus dead.
"We hadn't been married quite six
months when I come home wlti a load
tf pompklM to day and found that
he'd run away wltb a lightning rod
man, 1 didn't foller ber. but let her
ran and have never heard of her xlnre.
Where I thought I knew all I didn't
know the first goah-hanged thing.
"I wasn't going to be made i of
the second time, and after I i. t my
divorce I went up town for Hie v htier
and to look around, (lot a Umdiuif
house, and I hadn't looked at the luud
lady twice when I knew he was the
wife for me. Hhe waa nio:iiei !; : she
waa sympathetic: ahe wn i:ig. ue
wa mild' Nevernuwu i the
hustle like If wuw. t " !
as regul.ii I'mi. ., A '
on me Yi " I at 1 - ' ' "''"'
ii novel.
"Waul. I .i rleil her. 'I he- . men
dttli.g -' live v. ho en ii .im!ier
ihe n If 1 n her ho-; ' wa
ueiiilliii. . i . fem e i i 'J' a
iveek In I lieiinl Iht in;:.
I weiil lie wn!'e ill .m She
hBt II I, ! I III II I' clllllr
ntid an: : ' i';i't u I g ( do nny
more . .. ' n! to do
It nil. I H id
ln ch'j i.i" i i le
It lly. N. . 'rii i .ight
It was, :Ki'r i ; my-
M!f the i thin f'i I had
my eyei
"Tw i (. , b .ii II was
irj lug t I t'.o- I1 ' her
railed i I l:i . I Hint
rellgloi. i ,. i iMf
the ml. i t.i'- ; 1 il It
hc run ! ...i . i I l limie it i l down
through ' e
Hw I. All Cndeo.
"I reeUon ilu-re's iioImmI.v In Jericho
who don't know how It all eudi-d. One
night nf Mt- hud pulled me out
of Is-d mill i!-.'gv'"'l me outdoor I
Marled fi ti-xiih mil sin .mm I there
long 'null to i t l in; second divorce.
"I'm u-telllng you that I don't be
lieve there's u man or a critter on earth
who run make a fool of a man more'n
twice over-a man with any brain un
der his hat but you leave It to the wo
men folks, mid they'll do It half a doz
en times over. When I wa sorter shy
ing around after my third wife there
wa folk In town here who snld they
should think I'd bud nil the marrylnr
I wanted. I didn't pay any attention
to the remark. Oettlng married or
staying lugle I a man owu business.
A tin ieddler told me of a wldder wo
man over In pohlis Ferry, and I went
over to see her. I wa took again at
flrat sight-forty year old; strong a
a horse; uever'd had a day' sickness;
could eat raw turulps like a cow.
"I dldu't say nothing about marriage
till I'd lecn over thero a doxen time
and asked a heap of cople a heap of
questions. I sat with her. I talked
with her. I ato with her. Nothing
wrong; everything all O. K. Then I
popped, and she snld yes. You all re
mcmU'r when I brung her home. Some
of you said she'd he a good aa another
yoke of oxen to me.
Firat Thing She Did.
"Wa she? The first thing she did
waa to get eevlsh and find fault with
everything. Then he hud liver com
plaint and back ache aud consumption
and I don't know what else, but I paid
out ulgb S5M) for patent medicines In
two year, and then ahe died Just at
the time apples wa ready for drying.
I ain't a auylng a word against ber,
'causo she's deaf, but she wasn't no
more the woman I took ber to be aud
all tho folka suld she waa than buck
wheat Is like corn.
"I'm now n living with' No. 4. I'm
a-naylug ao 'cause you all know so and
'cause most of you remarked when I
wa courting her that I orter tie Bent
to the Idiot asylum. I hain't never said
anything back. I tako It that It's for a
man to say whether he'll quit the Job
at oue or two wive or to keep on the
fourth. This one, aa you know, wa
an old maid, and I was two years
courting and finding out about her. I
hain't got but Jest a word to aay. I
started out by saying that we men
folks dou't know women folks and
never will,, and to prove It I'm declar
ing that when I go home thin evening
I don't know whether my wife will
precipitate herself Into my anna and
glvo mo a kiss or whether she'll pre
cipitate me outdoors and give me a
kick. And now there comes the mall,
and tbut'aall." M. QUAD.
They Were Hard to 8ee.
"What la the charge against the pris
oner, officer t"
"Shu re, and the mon baa no visible
means of support" Bohemian.
The Poetry Market.
Sonnets, ateady, with a slight upward
tendency.
1 Triolet, Arm, notwithstanding some profit
taking.
Dialect Verio, bullish. Indiana first In
' great demand.
i Itondnaus, fluctuating; opened 01; closed
M; high U34.
Kplcs, no sales. Vlllanollee, dull.
J Blank Verse, quiet. Buiiio wash sale re
ported. ! Jdagaslne Quatrain, lively; 118 bid, 13
asked.
; Couplets, brisk.
1 Sl...tm..a Va... fnm Immaillal, it.illv.trv
very actlvo; receipt unequal to de
mand. Humors to the effect that soma, of the
largest verse . foundries will ao oa
half time or shut down altogether
re vigorously denied.
. Puck.
MODES OF THS f.'GMENT
mart Material for Walko g Ccttume.
Fashionable Co..
A new color I t-li ... which
In rough tweeiN niid I :. In both
striped and plain etfe-1 i i.eing used
by the first class Ih! mt i- i smart
walking costninir. The ire abort
and cutaway, with toui. I iiasque.
and are trimmed over muldera
and as far a the bust I "Ml wltb
trap of the cloth plpeii pink
ish purple ftued i lo h 'i Is
also used for ihe im I . ir as
well a for Ihe straps ,i, ) ironf
These couis are for the . i . ' i sin
gle breasted .Hid fni'leii v uuiuy
Of the thiei- ii miiei .i.. i'h Just
two lnr.fi' i,i:iio!is
Glove U-iiii; i-liiri !. . e. the
Knglhh l.-.i !. in lore ' ;. Htout
tan glove .;. hi hc'i ,;i ie worn
for btialiiesh a nd shopplnK Ihe black
bopping glove of superior quality
last a Whole eiiti I'or ilrecs the
long White glove Is lo be the thing.
in sttlcoiit some prettj effec-t are
bown In Urotr h pIimiTk. In lii li brll
Ilant color- pretloliiliiHte Moreen of
not too heavy n const ni'tjon Is to be
A rBIXflBW OOWH 5797.
i revived for skirt and I seen In fancy
effect and color combination.
1 The deep rich shade known this sea
son a prelat I used In .hl charming
prlncesa gown. Tho material Is eoll- j
enne, and the trimming la of a heavy
satin In the same shade. Great care j
should, be otmcrveu in tue wearing oi
this color, as It 1 lecomlng to only a
few person with bright coloring.
JUDIG CIIOLLET.
UP TO DATE WRINKLES.
Pretty Effect In Flannelette Color
That Will Be Worn.
Gay little plaids and checks an4
pot and fancy shot are being showa
In the prettiest colors Imaginable In
flannel. The flannelettes become
finer and daintier each year. As they
are so very low In price, flannelette and
t?unl flnnnel will have a place for
house sack and night robes.
In the new color khaki Is a favorite
shade, and green in a particularly
vivid shade of emerald Is a favorite.
Copenhagen blue is the blue par ex
cellence of the season. This color i
sometimes called Danish. Various
shades of red In fruit toues are excel
lent, and amoke and molo gray are to
be mora fashionable this winter than
ever.
The latest button to invade the leld
of fashion Is called the mushroom
and Btauds up about an Inch In height
like n veritable miniature mushroom.
These buttoiiB are made of molda cov
ered with fancy braids.
j Color combination play n great part
In the matter or proportion, a. boui
TH SBW PINK 8799, 5544.
1 fleet increases the height, while a
contrasting combination decreases It
The small woman must see that her
blouse or waist matches lu color with
her skirt. The too tall woman should
see to It that she wears a waist and
skirt of contrasting colors. A tall wo
man ahou'.d breuk tho height at her
waist line by weurlug a belt of a dif
ferent color from tho garment, or It
may match the skirt
The frock pictured Is In one of the
new shades of pink, so beautifully car
ried out lu allk warned veiling this
year. The trimming la of tucked Bilk
with bandings and frills of ribbon.
- JUDIC cnOLET.
M ,v- -. -, . 5....... r 1. Tl !" 1 I
XVeCctaWe Preparation for As
similating meFoodandBctfuti-
Promotes DigcstionJCrteerfur
ness and Rcst-Corttains neither
Opium .Morphine norMitttfaL
KotNaiicotiCi
yav tfoUfrSAMUILPTTQat
A perfect Remedy forConslipfl
non , Sour Stouwh.Diarrhoca
Worms fortvulsiions .Fcvcnsh
ncss find LOSS OF SLEEP.
Facsimile Sigonlure of
NEW YORK.
CXACT COPY Of WRAPPER.
KILLthc COUCH
AND CURE THE LUNC8
wth Dr. King's
Nov; Discover
FDR sfOUCHS
PRICK
Rru. 1 1 OA
OLDS Trial Bottle Free
AND ALL THROAT AND LUNG TROUBLES.
GUARANTEED SATISFACXOxtY
OS MONET REFUNDED.
MAGAZINE
READERS
SU1TSKT MAGAZINI
fceaulilully illuttnvled, food aoria - rn
ead envies .bout CeJilorai eaa
ell Ike Fei Weel.
CAatXKA CSATT
derated eecb atooih to the .
batic Kpraductio of the beet 5l00
work ei eaaleui ead proieaaeaal a
pbetogrepKart.
BOAD OF A THOUSAND WOHDIES
a book ei 75 pMel cooteieioa
120 colored pootognpkt oi 0.75
picturetque epeto ia Celiiomia
md Oragoa.
Total . . . $3.25
All for ... . $1.50
A Aire ell order to
STJ5SET MAGAZINE
flood! BuiiJiiis Sc Ffancitcc
CASTOR I A
for Infant and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
THE
LAKE
COUNTY
EXAMINER
LATEST LAND AND STOCK NEWS
EIQHT PAGES LOCAL AND COUNTY NEWS
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR.
ESTABLISHED
TfilPIl
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears
Signature
of
In
Use
For Over
Thirty fears
HASTORIft
WESTERN STAGE LINE
Office at the Mercantile Company's
PtoreLakeview, Oregon.
CJood Stock - - - New Coachea
Daily from Lakeview to Bly, connect
ing with Daily Stage to the railroad.
P. n. COREV, - - - Proprietor
Li3vit.v, O."j3o,.
KLAHATH LAKE
....RAILROAD....
. . . TIME TABLE . . .
In Effect May let, 1005.
Lt. Thrall.... A. MXr. Pokegamt 10.45 A M
ArJBogu 6.J5 " Ar. Pixie 10.56 "
' Kteel Br'e 6.45 " Kl'h Bp'gi 11.40 "
"2 Fall Cr'k..7.05 " Fall Creek 11.45
" Kl h Bp'gn7.10 " Bteel Br'ge li.OO "
Dixie 8.10 Boffu MM P II
" PokegamaSJO " Tnrall....Jz.5 "
Klamath Springs Special. '
L. Thrall.-.. 1.30 P. M.Lt. Kl'h Sp'gaS ttP.Ti
Jit, Bogus 1.55 " Ar. Fall Creekt.50 "
f Fll I'lVfl 2.36 " Bo(rUi-,....8.
Kl'h Pp'f t 40 Thrall S.45
VV;VK
sty ics hi u pc uu
stock a large assortment of high
grade stationery so that there is
no delay in executing a large order.
Our prices will be found to compare
favorably with other prices.
IN 1880.
Fr(BjtitC'i f! t i iih Ltk
at New I'lne Civek Oregon.
PreMhlngerrvlceaat ll:octuck A M
and 7-M r. M. on each Sunday of
every month. - -
Huodaj HchMl at lO.ocIock A. II.
Praver Service at 7M on Wedaea
day evening of eacb week. ,
All are cordially Invited to attend
the Service.
J. Ilayden Howard, Pastor,
reoeuecoaain
-.wtntf or ptmin.
rn. !., hvm te
BtutntM tBrtrl
Prtt an; t.f rler
Wrlfc, - wmram Ui
tit umk Skw, n-
- WtM -
Post & Kins have the beet grade
of liquors and.clKara to be' found In
Oreeon. ti
BU114 .-! tT 1 . ) !, j-1
timber land final proofs and blank affi.
iavita for applications for read verti se
men ta .blank witness' affidavits, ete. at
The Examiner office. tf
Lakeview Cigar Factory
A. Storkm., Prop.
"
Maker of
Havana and
Domestic .Cigars
COeiWTBY OSDKRA aOLICmB-
Give as a trial. Blore in the brick
building next door to Post A King ea
loon. keview, Oregon.
$1,000.00 Reward.
The Oregon, California & Nevada
Llvestoct Protective Association
will give 1000 Reward (or the con
viction of anyjparty or parties steal
ing horses, cattle or mules belonging
to any of thefollowlng.members of
this Association:
Cox & Clark. Cuewacaa Land &
Cattle Co., Heryford Land & Cattle
Co., Lake County Land & Livestock
Co., Warner Valley Stock Co., Geo.
W. Mapes, Wm W. Brown. Geo. VI.
Jones, Geo. Hanklns, S. B. Chandler,
J. O. Dodson, O. A. Kehart, N. Fine,
Tbos. Hutton, W. A. Cnrrier, Frank
B. Baners, (J. C. Hotchklss, Calder
wood Bros.. T. J. Brattaln & Sons.
James M. Moore, A. D. Cecil, T. A.
Crump, WJJZ. Moss.
Cressler A. Bonner, "W, T. Cressler
Acty Gilham, Uill & Toney.
OPF-irFiw w-p- Heettoed. Preeid't.
OFFICERS y p M jjju B & Treaa.
(W.P.
F. M.
IS.B.1
W. P. Hertford
Finance Com.
4xttt
Green
Chandler
DIRECTORY.
H'irst Baptist church of Lrkevle
PreachingServIIcesa t ll:A.M.and
7:80 P. M. onleachSunday.
Sunday School 10: A. M.
Junior Society at 2:30 P. M.
Baptist Young People.s Union at
fi;.10 P. M. on each Sunday.
Trayer meeting 7.30, P. M. on Wed
nesday evening.
Everybody invited to attend all
services. A. Frank Simmons, pastor
The Examiner has received a new
sample book of the Wall Street line
of engraved certificates of stock and
bond blanks, the most up-to-date on
the market. Used and endorsed by
the leading financiers of America.
Copyrighted. Call and see them if
you need anything in this line, ti
"dtUtKiA.1!
rm r rf. )
tt.
iw,
ilvitlnl.
6
1 PRINTING IS AN AR IN
which The Examiner ex
veils, vie have all the late