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About Lake County examiner. (Lakeview, Lake County, Or.) 1880-1915 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 19, 1907)
ABOUT WOMEN FOLKS nothing They Ever Do Astonishes Deacon Spooner. MEN FOLKS TAKE CHANCES. Whn a feller Thinks Hs's Get U Knew Hi Wifa About as Well Che Knows Hrlf Ho'o Sound (o Get Jar," Say Deacon Opyrihl. IW7. by R. C. raroells.) I wnmi't n lilt aMouli!." aalil pe.x-on KMMiiicr na ho ant down nn the 4ntii!n an-M at Jericho t wnlt for the iiihII t" ,ini ln-"no, air, I wasn't .a Ml mmIoiiInIhmI when Umdui-I Fair iMiuka came over thl afternoon to where I wiim work I nil In the garden and mi I.I tlmt life wife bad ruq away. Nothing tlmt women folks ever do aa toulitie ma. A tviimiiii may turn out to be an i or mih in 11 y turn out to a farimhnii initio. I he fi ller who marries 'em tin got to til til" chimces. "When it feller think he's K"t to know IiIm wife alwiut aa well n "lie 7, -. J "una hat wiih hbm rarr vr iif anutiikh CMAIM ANII MAII KHK WM X OOIMU TO 1H hO MOIIK WOHH." know herself he's bound to get a jar. Ho'a IkhiiuI to And out tlint ho don't know her at all. 'Take a tioif. now, and you ran fiud out alt about him In an hour. He was lioru a Iiok. aud he'a going to atay one till you turu him Into pork. You can leHnd uhi him until you start to drive him somewliere. "It don't take a feller long to Imirn the wa.va of a cow. Klio'll either Jump fence or "he won't. Khe'il either kick the milking mill over or alio won't She'll either nettle down and grow fat or she'll lie trcHpasxIng all over the field and le n thin a a rail. "I've Kot a yoke of oxen ten years old. I've known the critters ever sluce they wa yri'n". ! knoc? Just what they will or they won't d$ under anrtlu arcumNtant'es. If there's solid ground and It's a hit downhill under their feet they'll hump themselves to pull an oak tree up by the' root. If It'a oft ground aud uphill they won't pull bard nuff to bring a towel off the clothesllue. "I've got an old boss sixteen year old. I learned his ways before he wo four. If he get the line under hi tall when I'm driving he' going to kick. C an't say why, but he'll do It. If lit) meet a flock of aheop In the road he' going to bust for the fence, one ldo or t'other. Can't aay how h reasons, but nway he'll go, end some thing will lo smashed. I know him from bend to tall, and I drive him ac cordingly. Can Understand Most Men. "A feller can understand most men. If Ix-inucl Jackson any he'll bring me a tou of hay tomorrow nt $10 tho to I'm going to depend on It. If I'lirlus Taylor says he'll sell mo a bur'l of pork next fall I'm feeling us siifo a If the bar'! was already la tho cellar. I've come dowu hero to Tap rcrklns' gro eery and postotllco every night of my life for tho last twenty years. Tap baa alius beeu the aaiue. He wus the eauio tho day his wlfo got bit by a mad dog. He was the same when he fell off a loud of hay and broke hi leg. The rest of you arc Jest tho same. .We've all had cbanoes to be meaner 'o plzen toward each other, but we hain't taken advantage of 'em. "But when you come down to wom en folka that's different. When I was twenty-five I thought I understood 'em and would have bet a cow agin a Iamb I did, but 1 ain't talking that way now. I'm Jest suylng that tbej are a puzzle, aud I wouldn't bet on 'em nohow. "I ain't saying nothing but what you all know when I say that I'm living with my fourth wife. Some folks have been kind 'nuff to say that It'a two too many, but I reckon It'a as one feels about It "I thought my tlrst wife wus an angel. Used to run In on her ut all times when courting, but always found ber as placid as a mlllpond. Never showed the slightest temper, not even when she stumbled over a bog Said that If anything happened to me she'd commit suicide. Lord, but If any one bad told me that I didn't know that gal I'd have answered that he'd better (0 to the lunatic asylum. "We'd beeu married four weeks when she pulled out a handful of my aide whiskers because I stepped on her corn. "We'd beeu married eight when she eald she wished I wus dead. "We hadn't been married quite six months when I come home wlti a load tf pompklM to day and found that he'd run away wltb a lightning rod man, 1 didn't foller ber. but let her ran and have never heard of her xlnre. Where I thought I knew all I didn't know the first goah-hanged thing. "I wasn't going to be made i of the second time, and after I i. t my divorce I went up town for Hie v htier and to look around, (lot a Umdiuif house, and I hadn't looked at the luud lady twice when I knew he was the wife for me. Hhe waa nio:iiei !; : she waa sympathetic: ahe wn i:ig. ue wa mild' Nevernuwu i the hustle like If wuw. t " ! as regul.ii I'mi. ., A ' on me Yi " I at 1 - ' ' "''"' ii novel. "Waul. I .i rleil her. 'I he- . men dttli.g -' live v. ho en ii .im!ier ihe n If 1 n her ho-; ' wa ueiiilliii. . i . fem e i i 'J' a iveek In I lieiinl Iht in;:. I weiil lie wn!'e ill .m She hBt II I, ! I III II I' clllllr ntid an: : ' i';i't u I g ( do nny more . .. ' n! to do It nil. I H id ln ch'j i.i" i i le It lly. N. . 'rii i .ight It was, :Ki'r i ; my- M!f the i thin f'i I had my eyei "Tw i (. , b .ii II was irj lug t I t'.o- I1 ' her railed i I l:i . I Hint rellgloi. i ,. i iMf the ml. i t.i'- ; 1 il It hc run ! ...i . i I l limie it i l down through ' e Hw I. All Cndeo. "I reeUon ilu-re's iioImmI.v In Jericho who don't know how It all eudi-d. One night nf Mt- hud pulled me out of Is-d mill i!-.'gv'"'l me outdoor I Marled fi ti-xiih mil sin .mm I there long 'null to i t l in; second divorce. "I'm u-telllng you that I don't be lieve there's u man or a critter on earth who run make a fool of a man more'n twice over-a man with any brain un der his hat but you leave It to the wo men folks, mid they'll do It half a doz en times over. When I wa sorter shy ing around after my third wife there wa folk In town here who snld they should think I'd bud nil the marrylnr I wanted. I didn't pay any attention to the remark. Oettlng married or staying lugle I a man owu business. A tin ieddler told me of a wldder wo man over In pohlis Ferry, and I went over to see her. I wa took again at flrat sight-forty year old; strong a a horse; uever'd had a day' sickness; could eat raw turulps like a cow. "I dldu't say nothing about marriage till I'd lecn over thero a doxen time and asked a heap of cople a heap of questions. I sat with her. I talked with her. I ato with her. Nothing wrong; everything all O. K. Then I popped, and she snld yes. You all re mcmU'r when I brung her home. Some of you said she'd he a good aa another yoke of oxen to me. Firat Thing She Did. "Wa she? The first thing she did waa to get eevlsh and find fault with everything. Then he hud liver com plaint and back ache aud consumption and I don't know what else, but I paid out ulgb S5M) for patent medicines In two year, and then ahe died Just at the time apples wa ready for drying. I ain't a auylng a word against ber, 'causo she's deaf, but she wasn't no more the woman I took ber to be aud all tho folka suld she waa than buck wheat Is like corn. "I'm now n living with' No. 4. I'm a-naylug ao 'cause you all know so and 'cause most of you remarked when I wa courting her that I orter tie Bent to the Idiot asylum. I hain't never said anything back. I tako It that It's for a man to say whether he'll quit the Job at oue or two wive or to keep on the fourth. This one, aa you know, wa an old maid, and I was two years courting and finding out about her. I hain't got but Jest a word to aay. I started out by saying that we men folks dou't know women folks and never will,, and to prove It I'm declar ing that when I go home thin evening I don't know whether my wife will precipitate herself Into my anna and glvo mo a kiss or whether she'll pre cipitate me outdoors and give me a kick. And now there comes the mall, and tbut'aall." M. QUAD. They Were Hard to 8ee. "What la the charge against the pris oner, officer t" "Shu re, and the mon baa no visible means of support" Bohemian. The Poetry Market. Sonnets, ateady, with a slight upward tendency. 1 Triolet, Arm, notwithstanding some profit taking. Dialect Verio, bullish. Indiana first In ' great demand. i Itondnaus, fluctuating; opened 01; closed M; high U34. Kplcs, no sales. Vlllanollee, dull. J Blank Verse, quiet. Buiiio wash sale re ported. ! Jdagaslne Quatrain, lively; 118 bid, 13 asked. ; Couplets, brisk. 1 Sl...tm..a Va... fnm Immaillal, it.illv.trv very actlvo; receipt unequal to de mand. Humors to the effect that soma, of the largest verse . foundries will ao oa half time or shut down altogether re vigorously denied. . Puck. MODES OF THS f.'GMENT mart Material for Walko g Ccttume. Fashionable Co.. A new color I t-li ... which In rough tweeiN niid I :. In both striped and plain etfe-1 i i.eing used by the first class Ih! mt i- i smart walking costninir. The ire abort and cutaway, with toui. I iiasque. and are trimmed over muldera and as far a the bust I "Ml wltb trap of the cloth plpeii pink ish purple ftued i lo h 'i Is also used for ihe im I . ir as well a for Ihe straps ,i, ) ironf These couis are for the . i . ' i sin gle breasted .Hid fni'leii v uuiuy Of the thiei- ii miiei .i.. i'h Just two lnr.fi' i,i:iio!is Glove U-iiii; i-liiri !. . e. the Knglhh l.-.i !. in lore ' ;. Htout tan glove .;. hi hc'i ,;i ie worn for btialiiesh a nd shopplnK Ihe black bopping glove of superior quality last a Whole eiiti I'or ilrecs the long White glove Is lo be the thing. in sttlcoiit some prettj effec-t are bown In Urotr h pIimiTk. In lii li brll Ilant color- pretloliiliiHte Moreen of not too heavy n const ni'tjon Is to be A rBIXflBW OOWH 5797. i revived for skirt and I seen In fancy effect and color combination. 1 The deep rich shade known this sea son a prelat I used In .hl charming prlncesa gown. Tho material Is eoll- j enne, and the trimming la of a heavy satin In the same shade. Great care j should, be otmcrveu in tue wearing oi this color, as It 1 lecomlng to only a few person with bright coloring. JUDIG CIIOLLET. UP TO DATE WRINKLES. Pretty Effect In Flannelette Color That Will Be Worn. Gay little plaids and checks an4 pot and fancy shot are being showa In the prettiest colors Imaginable In flannel. The flannelettes become finer and daintier each year. As they are so very low In price, flannelette and t?unl flnnnel will have a place for house sack and night robes. In the new color khaki Is a favorite shade, and green in a particularly vivid shade of emerald Is a favorite. Copenhagen blue is the blue par ex cellence of the season. This color i sometimes called Danish. Various shades of red In fruit toues are excel lent, and amoke and molo gray are to be mora fashionable this winter than ever. The latest button to invade the leld of fashion Is called the mushroom and Btauds up about an Inch In height like n veritable miniature mushroom. These buttoiiB are made of molda cov ered with fancy braids. j Color combination play n great part In the matter or proportion, a. boui TH SBW PINK 8799, 5544. 1 fleet increases the height, while a contrasting combination decreases It The small woman must see that her blouse or waist matches lu color with her skirt. The too tall woman should see to It that she wears a waist and skirt of contrasting colors. A tall wo man ahou'.d breuk tho height at her waist line by weurlug a belt of a dif ferent color from tho garment, or It may match the skirt The frock pictured Is In one of the new shades of pink, so beautifully car ried out lu allk warned veiling this year. The trimming la of tucked Bilk with bandings and frills of ribbon. - JUDIC cnOLET. M ,v- -. -, . 5....... r 1. Tl !" 1 I XVeCctaWe Preparation for As similating meFoodandBctfuti- Promotes DigcstionJCrteerfur ness and Rcst-Corttains neither Opium .Morphine norMitttfaL KotNaiicotiCi yav tfoUfrSAMUILPTTQat A perfect Remedy forConslipfl non , Sour Stouwh.Diarrhoca Worms fortvulsiions .Fcvcnsh ncss find LOSS OF SLEEP. Facsimile Sigonlure of NEW YORK. CXACT COPY Of WRAPPER. KILLthc COUCH AND CURE THE LUNC8 wth Dr. King's Nov; Discover FDR sfOUCHS PRICK Rru. 1 1 OA OLDS Trial Bottle Free AND ALL THROAT AND LUNG TROUBLES. GUARANTEED SATISFACXOxtY OS MONET REFUNDED. MAGAZINE READERS SU1TSKT MAGAZINI fceaulilully illuttnvled, food aoria - rn ead envies .bout CeJilorai eaa ell Ike Fei Weel. CAatXKA CSATT derated eecb atooih to the . batic Kpraductio of the beet 5l00 work ei eaaleui ead proieaaeaal a pbetogrepKart. BOAD OF A THOUSAND WOHDIES a book ei 75 pMel cooteieioa 120 colored pootognpkt oi 0.75 picturetque epeto ia Celiiomia md Oragoa. Total . . . $3.25 All for ... . $1.50 A Aire ell order to STJ5SET MAGAZINE flood! BuiiJiiis Sc Ffancitcc CASTOR I A for Infant and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature THE LAKE COUNTY EXAMINER LATEST LAND AND STOCK NEWS EIQHT PAGES LOCAL AND COUNTY NEWS TWO DOLLARS A YEAR. ESTABLISHED TfilPIl For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears Signature of In Use For Over Thirty fears HASTORIft WESTERN STAGE LINE Office at the Mercantile Company's PtoreLakeview, Oregon. CJood Stock - - - New Coachea Daily from Lakeview to Bly, connect ing with Daily Stage to the railroad. P. n. COREV, - - - Proprietor Li3vit.v, O."j3o,. KLAHATH LAKE ....RAILROAD.... . . . TIME TABLE . . . In Effect May let, 1005. Lt. Thrall.... A. MXr. Pokegamt 10.45 A M ArJBogu 6.J5 " Ar. Pixie 10.56 " ' Kteel Br'e 6.45 " Kl'h Bp'gi 11.40 " "2 Fall Cr'k..7.05 " Fall Creek 11.45 " Kl h Bp'gn7.10 " Bteel Br'ge li.OO " Dixie 8.10 Boffu MM P II " PokegamaSJO " Tnrall....Jz.5 " Klamath Springs Special. ' L. Thrall.-.. 1.30 P. M.Lt. Kl'h Sp'gaS ttP.Ti Jit, Bogus 1.55 " Ar. Fall Creekt.50 " f Fll I'lVfl 2.36 " Bo(rUi-,....8. Kl'h Pp'f t 40 Thrall S.45 VV;VK sty ics hi u pc uu stock a large assortment of high grade stationery so that there is no delay in executing a large order. Our prices will be found to compare favorably with other prices. IN 1880. Fr(BjtitC'i f! t i iih Ltk at New I'lne Civek Oregon. PreMhlngerrvlceaat ll:octuck A M and 7-M r. M. on each Sunday of every month. - - Huodaj HchMl at lO.ocIock A. II. Praver Service at 7M on Wedaea day evening of eacb week. , All are cordially Invited to attend the Service. J. Ilayden Howard, Pastor, reoeuecoaain -.wtntf or ptmin. rn. !., hvm te BtutntM tBrtrl Prtt an; t.f rler Wrlfc, - wmram Ui tit umk Skw, n- - WtM - Post & Kins have the beet grade of liquors and.clKara to be' found In Oreeon. ti BU114 .-! tT 1 . ) !, j-1 timber land final proofs and blank affi. iavita for applications for read verti se men ta .blank witness' affidavits, ete. at The Examiner office. tf Lakeview Cigar Factory A. Storkm., Prop. " Maker of Havana and Domestic .Cigars COeiWTBY OSDKRA aOLICmB- Give as a trial. Blore in the brick building next door to Post A King ea loon. keview, Oregon. $1,000.00 Reward. The Oregon, California & Nevada Llvestoct Protective Association will give 1000 Reward (or the con viction of anyjparty or parties steal ing horses, cattle or mules belonging to any of thefollowlng.members of this Association: Cox & Clark. Cuewacaa Land & Cattle Co., Heryford Land & Cattle Co., Lake County Land & Livestock Co., Warner Valley Stock Co., Geo. W. Mapes, Wm W. Brown. Geo. VI. Jones, Geo. Hanklns, S. B. Chandler, J. O. Dodson, O. A. Kehart, N. Fine, Tbos. Hutton, W. A. Cnrrier, Frank B. Baners, (J. C. Hotchklss, Calder wood Bros.. T. J. Brattaln & Sons. James M. Moore, A. D. Cecil, T. A. Crump, WJJZ. Moss. Cressler A. Bonner, "W, T. Cressler Acty Gilham, Uill & Toney. OPF-irFiw w-p- Heettoed. Preeid't. OFFICERS y p M jjju B & Treaa. (W.P. F. M. IS.B.1 W. P. Hertford Finance Com. 4xttt Green Chandler DIRECTORY. H'irst Baptist church of Lrkevle PreachingServIIcesa t ll:A.M.and 7:80 P. M. onleachSunday. Sunday School 10: A. M. Junior Society at 2:30 P. M. Baptist Young People.s Union at fi;.10 P. M. on each Sunday. Trayer meeting 7.30, P. M. on Wed nesday evening. Everybody invited to attend all services. A. Frank Simmons, pastor The Examiner has received a new sample book of the Wall Street line of engraved certificates of stock and bond blanks, the most up-to-date on the market. Used and endorsed by the leading financiers of America. Copyrighted. Call and see them if you need anything in this line, ti "dtUtKiA.1! rm r rf. ) tt. iw, ilvitlnl. 6 1 PRINTING IS AN AR IN which The Examiner ex veils, vie have all the late