Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1886-1904 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 9, 1901)
BABIES TO CUT RENTS
FOR CHICAGO TENANTS.
Art and Nature.
Day In and out there is that feeling of
weakness that makes a burden of itself.
Food does not strengthen.
Sleep does not refresh.
It is hard to do, hard to bear, what
should be easy, — vitality is on the ebb, and
the whole system suffers.
For this condition take
Miss Prude — Yes; our choral
society is going to present a comic
| opera, but I won't take part. They
expect me to wear tights, but I could
not do that.
Miss Sharpe — Why not?
might get them padded, you know.
To Alina Grace Van Winkle, 20
months old, Is due a Chicago real estate
Innovation—the removal of the objec
tion to babies in rented houses, and the
substitution of a premium for them. 1
Her father. Charles F. Van Winkle, is
the owner of a large tract of land In the
southwestern part of the city. Up to
the time of his marriage three years
ago, Van Winkle had the same objee- |
tion to bablea that most unmarried men i
have. He liked them asleep. But after
his marriage, and after the coming into
Teacher—Now, Tommy Blinkins,
It vitalizes the blood, gives vigor and tone if you had two apples and wanted to
to all the organs and functions, and I b
positively unequalled for all run-down or give Johnny Frecklenose one, you
would tell him to take the larger one,
H ood ' s P ills curs constipation. 25 cents. '
Tommy—Wouldn’t have ter. He'd
She—No, I can never marry you. take it anyway.
All our family is opposed to you.
A Fortune to Be Given Away.
He—But you are not—
A noted philanthropist has decided to
She—I said all our family.
give away his fortune to charities and no
FARM MACHINERY ANO SUPPLIES.
A dull, throbbing pain, accompanied
a sense of tenderness and heat low
down in the side, with an occasional
shooting pain, indicates inflammation.
On examination it will be found that
the region of pain shows some swell
ing. This is the first stage of ovaritis,
inflammation of the ovary. If the roof
of your house leaks, my sister, you have
it fixed at once ; why not pay the same
respect to your own body ?
You need not, you ought not to let
yourself go, when one of your own sex
Be*t and only
perfect blower cut
ter on the market.
Send for circular.
Mitchell, Lewis A
Where do You
Sell Your Hides?
Be«t possible to build. Best material. Best pro
portion. Best finish Lightest running. Seventy
MlifilKI.l.. I. WK* I* A.
H'IAVK k C'
1st and Taylor St«., Portland. Or. 175 Front St., cor. Oak, Portland, Or.
Chas. L. Mastick & Co.
The Perfection of Wall Plaster, will not fall off, even
a leakage occur by the bursting of water pipes.
Send us your address and receive circular
what others have gained by the use of
LAND PLASTER showing
doubt much good will he accomplished.
There is another agency that has also ac
complished much good, tiamelv, Hostet
ter’s Stomach Bitters, the medicine with
fifty years of cures back of it. 11 promotes
appetite, insures digestion, cures dyspep
This signature is on every box of the genuine sia, regulates the liver and keeps the
Laxative Bromo*Quinine Tablet, bowels regular, also prevents beltthing,
the remedy that cures a cola in one day heartburn or flatulency. Don't fail to try
it, but be sure and get the genuine.
A Fine Memory.
Foot of 14th Streeu
• Chamber of Commerce,
Secretary of Confederate Navy.
Col. James G. Milner, who died re
cently at Milford, O., was once secre
Willie—Pa, teacher told us to be tary of the navy lor the confederacy.
prepared tomorrow to tell what meter He died very poor, yet before the war
the “Charge of the Light Brigade” was one of the richest men in the
Pa—That’s easy. Gag meter, of
Making Up the Pack.
“Somebody calls attention to the
EOTQ Permanently Cured. No fits or nervouaner fact that every new war ship is the
ill» after firat 'lav’s i»eof Dr. Kline’s Gr**at Nerve
Restorer. Semi for FREE 82.00 trial bottle and treat queen of the navy.”
ies. D r . R. 11 K link . Ltd..931 ArchSt.. Philadelphia. Pia
“I rather think that the transport
that turned over the other day is the
Told the Whole Story.
Mistress (to servant about to leave)
—Mary, what kind of reference shall YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING
When vou take Grove's Tasteless Chili Tonic,
I write for you?
because the formula is plainly printed on every
Mary—Oh, say I stayed with you bottle showing that it is simnlylronandQuf-
in a tasteless form. No Cure. Ne Pay. 50c.
for six months; that’ll do.
ALMA GRACE VAN WI.1KI.S.
his house of the stork, Van Winkle was
a changed man. Now his motto at
home and in business is: "No family I
should be without one.” He follows up !
this matter by announcing that who
ever builds a house on land leased from
him and thereafter becomes the pro
prietor of a baby shall receive a rent re
ceipt free. Babies coming within fif
teen months of the execution of the
lense are worth five years’ rent. After
that they count for one years’ rent. No
family can score more thin once, ex
cept In the case of twlnr. which count
for five years.
THE OLD AND THE NEW.
He—Darling, a single kiss from
“What are you doing there?” cried
the farm dog as he observed the hen those lips would intoxicate me.
She—But this is a prohibition town.
in the coal bin.
“Oh, I thought this was a good
Her Silence Explained.
time to lay in coal,” cackled the hen.
This is the way he wrote to her:
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAT
“Molly—I have not had a line from
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. AU for three weeks. Have you thrown me
Iruggist« refund the money if it fails to cure.
£. W, Grove’s signature is on each box. 25c.
And this is the way she answered
"Jhon—Hain’t you beam tell that
Gaul—Say, lend me $10, will you?
I’ll give it back to you today. I want I am on a sick bed, where I am slowly
a-dyin’, an’ can’t write a line to save
it to decide a bet.
Klose—All right. Here you are. my life, you fool you?
What was the bet?
Gaul—Smithers bet me $10 that I
could not borrow $10 from you.
Nervous Passenger—Captain, what
would be the result if this boat should
strike an ice berg.
By an old reliable firm to do Battenberg. Embroid
Captain—It would probably shiver
ery and all kinds of Fancy Work for us at home.
Steady work and good pay. steady or leisure hours. its timbers.
For Information send stamp to Parisian Needle
work Co., 85 Dearborn 8t., Chicago. Ill.
Has Other Names.
Church—Did you know that Styles
has a name for his automobile?
Gotham—No; what is it?
“Why, he calls it Madcap Violet.”
“Well, that isn’t what he called it
when it broke down ten miles from
any habitation. ”
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh That
Ai mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange the whole sys
tem when entering it through the mucous sur
faces. Such articles should never be used ex
cept on prescriptions from reputable physi
cians, as the damage they will do is ten fold to
the good vou can possibly derive from them.
Hall’s Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J.
Cheney & Co., Toledo, O., contains no mercury,
and is taken Internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system.
In buying Hall’s Catarrh Cure be sure you get
the genuine. It is taken internally, and made
in Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney A Co. Testi-
mon ials free.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle.
Hall’s Family Pills are the best.
Sure relief fiom liquor, opium and tobacco
habit/. Send for particulars to
BESTFORTHE Keeley Institute.
A Chilly Petition.
“Deacon Sniff seems to have a very
"Yes; he prayed for rain once and
W. H. SMITH S CO., Buffalo. N. Y.
Bad Circulation is the cause of most of the ills that come with old age. With
advancing years there is a decline of strength and vigor —the machinery of the
Consumption ol Te«.
body moves with less speed and accuracy. Because of the weak and irregular
The British people consume nearly
action of the heart the blood moves more slowly, becomes impure and loses much
of its life-sustaining properties, and muscles, tissues and nerves literally starve for six pounds of tea |ier head of the popu
lack of nourishment. A sluggish and polluted circulation is followed by a long lation, or an Increase of one pound per
There is no
train of bodily ailments. Cold feet, chilly sensations up and down the spine, poor capita in sixteen year».
appetite and digestion, soreness of the muscles, rheumatic pains, hard and fissured other country which In any way, ap
skin, face sores, chronic running ulcers on the lower limbs and other parts of the proaches this. Holland is the only
body_ these and many other diseases peculiar to old people are due to a lack of country In Europe where the consump
healthy blood and imperfect circulation. Restoration to health must come through
the building up and purification of the blood, thus adding strength and tone to tion of tea exceeds one pound per head.
In Russia and in the United States also,
the vital organs and quick, healthy action to the circulation.
S. S. S. being stnctly a vegetable blood remedy and the best tonic, makes it which are the other two large tea con
the most valuable and efficacious of all medicine for old people. It is free from all sumers, the consumption amount« to
mineral ingredients, and mild and pleasant in its action. It cures blood diseases under one pound per head.
of every character even those inherited or contracted in early life. As the system
pets under the influence of 8. S. S. there is a marked improvement in the general
health, and as richer and purer blood begins to circulate through the body the
“So you didn't string up the Boston
appetite improves, and there is a softness and elasticity about the «kin that you mail robber after all?" Interrogated the
have not noticed for years ; sores begin to heal, pains in muscles and joints grad
ually cease and vou find that it is possible to be happy and healthy even in oldage. tourist.
“We strung him up all right,” re
Our medical department is in charge of physicians who make a study of blood
and skin diseases. If you would like to have their opinion and advice m your sponded Bowie Bill, "but he got the
case write them all about it and you shall receive such information and advice as boys to arguing whether it was ‘hung’
vou want. This will cost you nothing. Others have found our medical depart or 'hanged,' an’ when the smoke had
ment of great benefit to them —their cure being much more rapid as the result of cleared we found that be had slipped
come special directions received from our physicians.
Don't be your own doctor when you can get medical advice free. Book oc I the rope and gone."—Philadelphia Rec-
wa~wl -"A Rkin Diaeaaea mailed to all who desire it.
. . — . — .
“What did the lawyer say when
you explained your case to him?”
asked Mrs. Baxter.
“He said it was fees-ible,” replied
Piso'» Cure cannot be too highly spoken
of a» a coligli cure.—.1. W. O' B ri ru. 322
Third Ave., N., Minneapolis, Minn., Jan.
Pleasant, Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. Do Good. 6, 1000.
Never Sioken, Weaken, or Gripe. 10c.
for free sample, and booklet on health. Address
stona tha Dough and
Wnrka Oft tha Oold.
Laxative liromo-Qulnine Tablets cure a cold In
one day. No cure, No Pay. Price 25 cent«.
BUiling KeMedy Company, Cblckgo, loatireal. Naw Tart. 321*
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
They Miss No Chance.
9 o <>1) k <> p \
simila t ing the Food and Reg ula -
ting the Stomachs and Bowels of
is best time to cure Catarrh,
Bronchitis and Consumption
Our remedy is guaranteed, |L
P. O. Box »73.
If you haven't a regular, healthy movement of the
bowels every day, you're sick, or will be. Keep your
At Menlo Park, San Mateo County, Cal., with
Us I eaiitifnl. surroundings, perfect climate,
enreful supervision, thorough instruction,
complete laboratories, and gymnasium, easily
n siniains its position in the front ranks of
»enools lor bovs on the Pacific Coast. Ira G.
built, Ph. O., Principal.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, ATLANTA. QA.
|[ WnliTo NATHAN PENSION
Il BICKFORD. Washington, 0. C.. they will re
Il ceive quick replies. B. 5th N. H. Vol«. Staff
20th Corps. Prosecuting claims since 1876.
French Banks Cieculate Gold
Deacon Elderberry—My dear Mrs.
Crabtree, if only half the money spent
in millinery were devoted to the
Mrs. Crabtree—Oh, my! But the
milliners won’t reduce their prices, i
“I see they are embalming pet dogs
now,” he said.
“Oh, isn’t that lovey,” she ex
“That’s what I’ll have
“There are only two kindsi of claimed.
done to Fido. ”
cooks. ’ ’
“Just the thing,” he returned, sud
“Those that can’t cook and will denly growing enthusiastic himself.
cook and those that can cook and “Give him to me and I'll have it
Buggies. Blows. Boilers and Engines,
Windmills ami Pnmm and General
Machinery. See us before buying
The Bank of France compels cus
tomers checking out money to accept Summer Resolutions
at least one-fifth in gold coin.
Shifted the Responsibility.
called out the Mother Greenwing, and
run they all did, pattering over tlie sur
face as fast as their tired little legs
could go. 'Run! run!’ cried the mother,
but the liawk was close at hand now.
In spite of all their running he would
lie on to them in another second. They
were too young to dive; there seemed
no escape when just as he pounced the
bright little mother gave a great splash
with nil her strength, and, using both
feet and wings, dashed the water all
over the hawk. He was astonished.
He sprang back into the air to shake
himself dry. The mother urged the
little ones to ‘Keep on!' and keep on
they did. But down came the hawk
again; again to be repelled with a
shower of spray. Three times did he
pounce, and three times did she drench
him. Now all the downllngs were safe
In the friendly rustles, the angry hawk
made a lunge at the mother, but she
could dive, and. giving a good-by splash,
she easily disappeared.”
Secure, patents for inventions
in tlie flitted States and foreign
countries. Alto negotiates mar
ket, and defends fiatent inven.
So lietter terms or facilities
than we offer obtainable any
where. Payment of our fees
may be deferred till patent is
allowed. Write lor pamplileL
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
root ol Morriaon Street.
Can give you the best bargains in
Bertha—Fred Hart is going to
r.iarry Bessie Light.
Edith—You don’t mean it!
mercy’s sake, what could he have
seen in her?
Bertha—That's what I say. Do
you know, I suspect he must have
courted her over the telephone.
bowels open, and be well. Force, In the shape of
The Beat Prescription lor Malaria
violent physic or pill poison. Is dangerous. The
¿hills and Fever is a bottleof Grove's Tasteless i.moothest. easiest, most perfect way of keeping the
Chill Tonic. It is simply iron and quinine in ocwals clear and clean is to take
i tasteless form. No Cure, No Pay. Price 60c.
A sto ».
holds out the helping hand to you, and
will advise you without money and
without price. Mrs. Pinkham's labora
tory is at Lynn, Mass. Write a letter
there telling all your symptoms and
get the benefit of the greatest experi
ence in treating female Ills.
“ I was suffering to such an extent
from ovarian trouble that my physi
cian thought an operation would be
“Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound having been recommended to
ms. I decided to try it. After using
several bottles I found that I was
cured. My entire system was toned
up. and I suffered no more with my
ovaries.”—M bs . A nna AsfOX.Troy. Mo.
“A woman was arrested in New
York for sleeping on the grass.”
“I didn’t suppose the New York
and his bicycle. The Sultan sent an
police farmed out the grass privileges, 1
Imposing delegation to London to bear
"They say the Missouri razor bug ids greetings to King Edward VII., on too.”
is an ungrateful scamp.”
the occasion of his accession to the
throne. This sketch Is taken from tlie
“You don’t expect to be famous?”
“He cuts his best friends.”
first photograph of the Sultan which said the pugilist.
was ever taken of that dusky ruler for
"I had entertained ambitiions in
Sick Headache Quickly Cured.
whose favors France and England are that direction,” said the young au
Indigestion, bad stomach, constipation, sick
headache. That’s the program. Next program now coquetting.
('ascarets Candy Cathartic, instant relief.
“But you don’t do anything but
Druggists, 10c, 2Cc, 50c.
Duck's Battle with a Hawk.
A green-winged teal Is the heroine of
“It is my writing that I depend
His Father Also Drives.
Ernest Seton-Thompson's new story in on. ”
First Boy—Your folks ain’t as rich the Ladies' Home Journal. After her
“Nonsense! The idea of a man ex
ns ours. My father and mother go brood was hatched she started to take pecting to get famous by sitting down
driving every day.
them across a pond. “This was a mis and wiggling his fingers over a piece
Second Boy—My father drives every take," Mr. Seton Thompson writes. of paper all day ! It’s absurd!”
“For it exposed them to enemies. A
First Boy—I don’t believe it. What great marsh hawk saw them, and he
does he drive?
came swooping along sure ,of getting
one in each claw. 'Run for the rushes!’
THE ADAMANT DO.,
Agents wanted in every town.
“Brown must have a bad memory;
Old Gentleman (to railway porter)
he has owed me $10 for two years.’’
— Porter, the rain is dripping in from
“You are mistaken ; he has a very the lamp hole all over my clothes.
good memory; he always goes across
Porter (reassuringly)—No, sir; it’s
he street in passing your office.”
quite watertight, I assure you. That's
only the oil leaking.”
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
rar me .
We always pay the Highest Price.
BISHOP SOOTT AO ADEM Y.
A boarding and day
school.* M litary and Manual Training. Opens
Sept. 12. 1901, with a faculty of 12 competent I
teachers, who employ modern methods and
understand boys. Illustrated catalogue.
ARTHUR O. NEWILL, Principal.
San Francisco Business College
1*436 Market St., San Francisco, Cal.
FULL COURSE, $60.00.
Write for Catalogue.
M. P. M. D.
writing t« advertlaara
mention thia paper.
For Infanta and Children.
The Kind You Have
Kind Old Man (to tramp)—Now,
why don’t you learn a trade?
Tramp—Well, I would, sir, if 1
knew of one better than this.
A Superior Baby.
Proud Father—Jei kins told me to
day that their baby coos so loud that
you can hear it all over the house.
Proud Mother—I hope, Harry, that
I you didn’t forget to tell him that ouia
cries so loud that it can be heard all
over the block ; if he doesn't believa
it he can ask the neighbors.
Little Liver Pills.
Must Bear Signature of
Sea Pac-Simlle Wrapper Below.
iNFANi Is/( HII.DKEN
CARTERS FOR DIZZINESS.
ness and Rest.Contains neilher
Opium.Morphine nor Mineral.
N ot N ah cotic .
flay* rfOU frSWELPtraaA
FOR TORPID LIVER.
FOR SALLOW SKIR.
FOR THE COMPLEXION
OBNUIMIÍ MUST HAVE jytWATUW^.
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
Friend—What became of your poem
called “Light, Beautiful Light?”
Poet (aaflly)—The editor turned it
Aperteci Remedy forConstipa
flon. Sour Stomach.Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish
ness and LOSS OF SLBBP.
Connecticut and Clock«.
Facsimile Signature of
____ NEW YORK.
kl b'iuon I lis ««Iti
J) Dosi •»>-
i \ i s
LXACT COPY OF WRAPPER.
▼ ms etwTiua ewMMwv. wew vena erw.
The first clock« manufactured in
thia country were by Eli Terry at Ply
mouth, Conn., in 1793. The manu
facture noon became extenaive, and
Connecticut wooden clocks ware fam-
oua all over the country.