Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About Yamhill reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1883-1886 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 8, 1883)
J gjfRAYDB? AN UNDERTAKER.
I Farit 0“« raorning throe or four <lays
Utn individual walked into a down.
L undertaker’s office, remarked on
Lweather, spoke of the fair, and
r J to be going away without making
f^jund when he suddenly turned and [
to pick up the timepiece before it was
trodderf under foot, when, to his aston
ishment, he recognized at a glance,
although the face was shattered by the
fall, that it was not his own!—which,
indeed, was reposing safe and uninjured
in his waist-coat pocket all the time!
He at once proclaimed his discovery, as
it was obvious that the loss must have
lieen incurred by one of his immediate
bystanders; but in spite of the full
publicity which the police advertise
ments and newspaper reports gave to
the matter subsequently, no owner ever
established his claim to the watch, which
rests under a glass case in the finder’s
drawing-room to this day.
THE WONDERFUL GOPHER.
VISITING DR. HOLMES.
F loating I sland .—Beat yolks of three
One Bets It’s a Squirrel, Another* Snake, eggs until very light; sweeten and
What the Witty Autocrat ha. to Say of
a Third a Turtle, and a Fourth a Kat.
flavor to taste; stir into a squart of
Ul« Own anil Seine Other.' Work.
boiling milk, cook till it thickens; when
cool, pour into a low glass dish; whip
But though our annals of artfulness
Four business men sat in a Third ave the whites of the eggs to a stiff froth,
Dr. OliVer Wendell Holmes, since he
can boast of mourning households where
nue car on their way down town. Look sweeten, and set over a dish of boilling
r'yv old woman died last night, and coffins have encased stolen plate instead
the lecturing chair of Harvard,
ing up from his newspaper one of them water to cook. Take i tablespoon and
L thinking of buying a coffin.
Got - of corpses, and of particular racehorses
where he handled as many skulls in his
enough apart so that the “little white time as Hamlet’s grave-digger, has re
Iuf «aid he lived in Springwells, and painted to resemble certain others, and
“Here’s an item that says gopher ¡Blands” will not touchejch other.
ceived a new lease of intellectual life.
The man sent on long journeys, in order that in
holes make horseback riding dangerous
P arsnip S tew .—Th^c slices of salt Those whom champagne will not intoxi
F I a p|ain coffin and the services of tending backers might be misled, we can
on the plains. Now, I’d like to know pork, boil one hour anl a half; scrape
Undertaker to make things go right. not, as a nation, dispute the palm of
cate forbear to laugh at the autocrat's
what a gopher is, anyway,” looking six parsnips, cut in starters, length
F of the neighbors had teams, und
quips. They even dub him “Dr. Dry
trickery, mental or manipulative, with
L would l*e enough.
” and say his recent contribu
UThisix business as well as grief,”
“A gopher is a striped squirrel,” said let all boil together unti the potatoes
TWAIN ON SIR WALTER SCOTT.
tions to periodical literature have been
Lerved the man as they figured. “Of undoubtedly raises them to that bad
a tall man, in a tone of quiet assurance. are soft.
rL. I want a decent coffin, but notli- eminence.
m_a diminuendo of wit and wisdom.
In literature it has been held to lx>
Possibly, in the special
“You’re mistaken, sir,” said I ub
L emon P udding .—Four eggs, four These calumnies are easily refuted by
Lrmulv. 1 want a fa‘r funeral but branch of horse-stealing, the Kouth heterodox to say aught against the nov
tjcoliops- l’ut everything right down
els and poems of Sir Walter Scott. Like neighbor. “A gopher is a land turtle, lemons, grated, bread crumbMo thicken one bon mot of our Democritus. I paid
sugar to sweeten, one cup <5 suet and
Loisli basis, and your money will be American Indian might receive an equal some of the great names he has been that burrows.”
my respects to him recently in an in.
Lv as soon as the procession moves.” certificate of proficiency with the Arab; above criticism. No one has seemed
“I shall have to differ from you, gen one cup of milk. Steam threihours.
Hr undertaker discounted until he but as bold and expert general thieves, willing to draw the lance against him.
heat M uffins .—One quary>f flour formal evening call.
Ljd go no further, and it was agreed the Hindus and Chinese stand unrivaled. Howbeit there are many jieople who can tlemen,” interposed the fourth man. “A two tablespoonfuls of flour, fiv^ggS> a
The Doctor lives on] Beacon street.
gopher is neither a striped squirrel nor teaspoonful of soda dissolved jn hot A murmur of remonstrance and insist
L he should drive down with the
A Chinaman has been known to seize a not read the novels of Scott. Those a turtle. It is a kind of rat.”
water, two teaapoonfuls of cream^irter, ence was wafted to my ears from the
Gnat 2 o’clock.
man’s finger and cut it clean off in the who are familiar with Dickens and
A man on the opposite seat, who had milk enough to make a thick batt».
pTwo o’clock or thereabouts,” said
Thackeray do not admire the Waverly
Following this came the
L man as he left. “There’s no great
novels. It is true that Scott is not listened to the conversation with evident
C innamon R olls .—Take a pit>j of Doctor, explaining: “Wife thought I
Lb. being the weather is bad. Any
modern in thought, and the scenes of interest , said:
pie crust, roll it out and cut in n:»ow should keep quiet this evening, but a
munity is due perhaps to the great re his novels are laid in the middle ages.
“Excuse me, gentlemen, but you are strips; sprinkle cinnamon over it nd little conversation rests more thau it
he between 2 and 3 will do. There’s
semblance which the faces of a Chinese But there is a certain largeness about all mistaken. A gopher is a snake. I’ve
disturbs me. Besides, I have been in
Children to wash and comb, and the mob
bear to one another in European Scott which has made him the friend killed lots of ’em, and I know what I’m roll up tight; put in a tin which
Lhbors have begun to put on clean
iiaddock so long that I am delighted
been well oiled with butter; bake uii| the
eyes, rendering individuals absolutely of men and women. But it has lieen talking about.”
now that I am at pasture, to compare
indistinguishable at first, as well as to the fashion to praise him. In his new-
“Are you willing to back up your
and notes over tho bars with my
li^in after 2 o’clock the undertaker an ingenious article for disguishing a
P udding S auce .—Rub well togetlie noses
book, “Life on the Mississippi,” Mark opinion?” asked the gopher-squirrel
neighbors. I want to know what the
Lebed the house.
The vehicle con-
broad-bladed knife in the semblance of Twain indulges in a free hand criticism man, taking a roll of bills from his until light, four large tablespoonfuls of.
Ljng the coffin was being backed up a closed fan, such as all Chinese carry.
brown sugar, two .....................
ounces of butter ’ ; vo,lllger
tl‘»>ng and read ____
th*»v u rita
[the gate when the man came out to Hindus will swim or float cautiously of the Scotch author. In view of the pocket,
Btir into a teacup of ladling water, lung they write. Some of it puzzlei
L gate and said :
quickly and well, until it has dissolved;
along a river at dusk with an old basket
[•Wait a minute, Kurnel.
Come in or empty gourd over the head, whirling nor his sentiments. The one he re a gopher is a snake.”
on no account omit stirring constaniy diving at. Do they know themselves?
The money was put into the hands of till well dissolved, or it will lose ts N! Now and then I catch a note in
gards as high flown, and the other he
and twirling lazily with every eddy, and
the gentleman who started the discus lightness; add grated nutmeg to tastj. (bl old keys. There is a Western
■They entered the house, and propped braving the crocodiles, to gain an entree considers as pernicious. He says:
wrier, Miss Edith Thomas, who has
“Then comes Sir Walter Scott with sion. He accepted it under protest, Serve hot.
I in bed vigorously sipping soup was to the bungalow they desire to plunder
the lensibility of Keats to the music of
his enchantments, and by his single saying that he was positive that a go
C orn B read .—Three • cups of con natiite. And her prose is formed on the
under the very nose of its proprietor. might checks this wave of progress, ami pher was a gray burrowing squirrel.
Mtat’s her,” said the man. “I The writer once saw a coolie immigrant
meal, two eoups of flour, half a cup f
Loght she was as dead as a crow-bar in Guiana, a field-hand on one of the even turns it back; sets the world in He had often seen them. A heated dis sugar, one and a half cups of swet •jest models, clear, polished, compact,
Ln I left home, but I’ll be hanged if I sugar plantations, towing a log of wood I love with dreams and phantoms; with cussion followed, in which the words milk, five eggs, four teaspoonfuls f the viry soul of thought in the amber
b didn’t come to! The doctor says it along one of the J muddy canals or I decayed and swinish forms of religion; gopher, snake, squirrel, rat and turtle baking powder.
In »peaking of his own work, Dr.
with decayed and degraded systems of figured prominently. The money in the
Llease of suspended agitation.”
trenches which intersect the cane-pieces.
L emon B utter for T arts . — Oi
|Theundertaker sighed and sat down. He passed the manager on the path, ! government; with the stillnesses and stakeholder’s hand soon amounted to pound pulverized sugar; whites of si Holmes was modest in the extreme
|“I know just how you feel about it,” salaamed composedly, and was plodding ! emptinesses, sham grandeurs, sham $25. It was agreed that Webster should eggs; and yolkes of two; three lemons “I have written much that I would will
ingly let die. The public have treated
Ltinued the man. “Fact is, I’m quietly on toward the village, when the ! gauds and sham chivalries of a brain settle the dispute.
including grated rind and juice; coo
Bier disappointed myself, but what rope hitched in a stake on the bank, less and worthless long-vanished society. alighted from the car, went into a hotel, twenty minutes over a slow ire, stirrin me lH>yon<l my deserts. It .would lie '
better if I should be four d out in my
Lire do? It’s kinder embarrassing [ causing the log to tilt up, and disclosing He did measureless harm; more real and a copy of the “Unabridged was all the while.
lifetime. A life of Emerson engages
Lyon to drive up here with a coffin and ’ the fact that it was ballasted with some and lasting harm, perhaps, than anv procured.
“Gol-gop-p-p-gopher — here it is,”
O range C ake .—Make a silver caki my whole attention at present. I re
Id the victim eating soup, but sich is thing underneath. “Something” proved other individual that ever wrote. Most
L. Thein fellers across the road are to be a coffee-pot and various other of the world has now outlived a good said the stakeholder, as he ran his fin and bake in jelly cake pans; grate on' ceive, every day, requests to write for
down the page:
large orange, add to it two Well beate this or that publication, but I decline
tlingand laughiug at the box you are B silver utensils which had lieen purloined part of these harms, though bv no ger Gopher
—An animal of several differ
Dr. Holmes is very proud
L but don’t blame me. I come home 8 from the breakfast-table laid in the means all of them, but in the south they ent species. The name was originally eggs and one cup of sugar! cook unti them all.
|th all plans laid, and she smashed veranda of the house to await our return. flourish pretty forcefully still. Not so given by French settlers to many bur thick, then spaead between the layers. of his study. It is a large room on the
forcefully as half a generation ago, per
C ocoanut J umales .—Or» pound o' isecond floor, and commands au exten-
Itm to slivers.”
] In a few hours the whole would doubt
animals from their honeycomb cocoanut grated, three-fourtlsofa] poiin<tive viow of tho Charles River and the
[‘‘How do you feel ?” asked the under. less have been converted into bangles, haps, but still forcefully. There the rowing
>oonfur ’ il| k PaV. The walls are lined with
genuine and wholesome civilization of ing the earth. In Canada and Illinois of sugar, three eggs, large iton-spoonfuf
Ler of the woman.
anklets, and ear-rings; for the poor
the name was given to a gray, burrowing
editions of English und foreign
flour; drop on buttered tins.
[‘•Bully!” she replied, as she licked Indian’s untutored mind is just as keen the nineteenth century is curiously com squirrel, west of the Mississippi and in of .,
u !' assies.
’ Hictionaries ami works of
krpoon. “You’n Caleb won’t hold ly alive to the advantages which attend
''f?;ren7.!ie .0P'‘11 «’loseathand. Hi.
Age sham civilization, and so you have Wisconsin to a striped squirrel. In white sugar, one-half teaiup
[funeral on me just yet.”
the development of specie unlawfully
Missouri, a common species is a pouched
mting-table in kept ex<piiHitely neat,
“Don’t mind her,” said the husband acquired as that of Mr. Eagin or any common sense, progressive ideas, and rat of a reddish or chestnut-brown color, whites of four eggs, tWo-thrds teacup ut well supplied with all the small eon-
progressive work mixed up with the
“She was alius other metropolitan “fence.”
In spoons baking-powder; flator. Gold imienees known in the author’s eeon-
duel, the inflated speech, and the jejune with broad, mole-like fore feet.
nder singular, and I assure you she
The natives entered the emporium of
Georgia a snake is called by the same Cake: Same as above, usinithe
vv.ssiny' Pens’ inkstandH> naper-cutters
[didn’t hurt your feelings for a thou, a Mohammedan dealer in one of the romanticism of an absurd past that is name, and in Florida a turtle.
>ne w.’iole . ° Bent to llilu from al1 ,,arts of t,le
of the four eggs, and addingbi„
ud dollars. I’m awful sorry about this, Calcutta bazars and purchased a valuable dead, and out of charity ought to be
As the stakeholder refunded the money
I lurid, in exchange for which he is ex-
[ I know how cheap you feel, but I shawl. They hesitated to pay for it, as buried. But for the Sir Walter disease, he said. “Gentlemen, it appears that egg.
p’ted to return an autographic ac-
the character of the southerner—or
Isn't kill her, you know?”
G raham C ookies .—Twoctti 4?o^lgar’ lowledgement, worth in open market
it did not appear convenient for them southron, according to Sir Walter’s we are all right and all wrong. But we
to carry it away just then ; but the dealer, starchier way of phrasing it—would be have, at least, learned something.”— one cup of sour cream, on<-h*b tea- • | I nnetimes more than the value of the
“Course not, but when she goes for an avaricious old scoundrel, fearful of
spoonful of soda; mix quickly rol and -------
aide - received,
[New Y’ork Sun.
—.,™. The tanned skin of an
nd the job’s your’s and count on it.” losing Jliis bargain, persuaded them to wholly modern, in place of modern me
I | ( cormous rattlesnake hanging on a wall
IT WAS A JUG.
The undertaker mounted his vehicle part with the money and leave the shawl, fully a generation further advanced than-
T? ■ ' V
' ’8 ,K*ory _ , °J f “Elsie Venner.”
B oiled M utton .—Cook flfteei mutes | [Vttysted
d started off, and when he was a by giving them a receipt for the amount, it is. It was Sir Walter who made
Yesterday forenoon a man doing busi
I his habits Dr. Holmes is very meth,
Brter of a mile away the man called which was duly witnessed by one of the every gentleman in the south a major or ness on Michigan avenue put a quart of to the pound in salted water, ta| out oical, and accomplishes more literary
_ _ ________
kerosene in a jug, walked out to the and wipe dry with a hot, wet joth. writ than his nervous, active organiza-
had the buyer
pl know how you feel, but you must . , __ an
sailoi came in >• reck a colonel, or general or a judge, before crossing of First street, and deliberately l’our over all a cup of drawn buttl
tin would seem to promise. Nothing,
the war; and it was he, also, that made
•re up! The next time will fetch, less, spend thrift, forcible in expression, these gentlemen value these bogus dec let the jug fall to the pavement. It was,
C hicken F ritters .—Cut acolduled I udge has pleased him more than the
ft pop?—[Detroit Free Press.
three parts drunk, and otherwise char orations. For it was he who created of course, broken into many pieces, chicken in small pieces, put initial) dimer which the physicians of New
and, of course, the oil splashed over the and season with salt and i»er. Y.rk tendered to him last winter. I
IT SHE LEFT THE LOUISVILLE EX acteristic of Jack ashore. The follower rank and caste down there, and also
of the Prophet spoke a little Ingleesh, reverence for rank and caste, ami pride stone sidewalk. When this had been Make a batter of three eggs, ojiint toH him he should, go West, and as-
as he spoke and did everything else and pleasure in them. Enough is laid accomplished the man waited. In two of milk and flour; stir in the :en siiK-d him of a boundless hospitality
A Newport unmarried elderly lady, which tended to the transference of on slavery, without fathering upon it or three minutes along came a citizen and fry in hot lard.
there, lie said, “We shall see,” with
r leader of the fashion in her own rupees or annals from other pockets
E gg S auce .—Roll one tablet ■inf
.-iful doubtful emphasis as of one who has
these creations and contributions of Sir who halted all of a sudden, stared hard
mily, attended the Southern Exposi- to his own, and was not long in finding
of butter in flour and stir it into <’Up come to lie satisfied with short journeys.
>n Wednesday. She is and always out that Jack wanted something to take Walter.
“Ah! somebody broke a jug!”
of meat broth; add two beate
; — [Chicago Inter Ocean
It will be difficult for the southern
Is been very bashful; in fact she’s so 1 home as a present to black-eved Susan. people to accept the criticisms offered
boil one minute. |l’ound the < of
Hhful she won’t get married, and she Unfortunately, the faithful mariner’s by Mark Twain, and even the north may
“Oil in it, wasn’t there?”
four hard-boiled eggs and scasoiour
is had ever so many offers.
over the liquid.
roving eye alighted on the shawl wh -h object to them. One thing for which
That was Arkansaw day, the day Gov. had just been sold, ami with the obstin Scott has always been held dear is the
“Probably let the jug fall?”
pushed back his chair
F ried P arsnips .—Boil until t r in
M tv , of that State, was presented in acy peculiar to his class and condition stalwart character of his books. He is
salted water; cut into slices, drerith from the supper table and looking at hie
f main hall of the building, before a j he insisted on having that and no nowhere weak and maudlin. On every
“And the oil was wasted?”
flour and fry brown.
rp' audience, with a suit of clothes i other. In vain the merchant told him page he is manly. Readers may not
“My dear, I understand the ladies
nil cotton picked in Arkansaw exactly it was sold. Very well; he would walk adore him but they will not rate him as
“Well, I declare!” he gasped, as he
potatoes; beat to a cream witl ted have formed some kind of an associa
rty-four hours previously.
tion for the furtherance of the prohibi
down the bazar and try elsewhere. An he has been by Mark Twain. The
The suit was nicely placed on exhibi- exorbitant sum was named as the price. probabilities are that his criticisms of minute whena lawyer came along. He, butter. Add three beaten egg toll tion ticket. Do you know anything
n beside Mayor Jacob ami his Arknn- Jack did not care; he hail plenty of Scott are serious; but the south is argu too, brought up with a sudden jerk, and
bread crumbs, fry in hot lard.
Rexcellency. The mayor made a fine money. It would cost double that, lie ing that Mark Twain is joking.—[lu- asked:
“Yes, I was at the meeting.”
Mentation speech and was in the act was told, to get it back from those to dianapolis Journal.
“Oh, I didn’t know you believed in
V eal L oaf .—Chop fine twonds
handing the suit to the governor when whom it now belonged. Jack was will
of raw veal and one-half ]s>un<kalt temperance.”
“Somebody broke a jug”
r young lady left, took the three ing to pay for all. There is no doubt
“I lielieve in the kind I lielieve in,
jsirk ; mix with two eggs, on<|ter
dock and came home.
The following is one of the most af
that the Moslem’s conscience would
of a pound of rolled crackers, oi>le- Topnoody, and if I want to talk, 1’1!
“Had something in, eh?”
Was she sick? No. But the follow- have allowed him to Roll the shall read fecting incidents in the history of the
spoonful of butter, pepper aklt. tailk, and all the hints you may hint
I conversation lietween her and a lady ily enough : but the purchasers had his telegraph:
Pack tightly in a deep, square tiLer won’t amount to a hill of Isians.”
“Might have lieen turpentine, but with bits of butter, sprinkle ter
end, whom she happened to meet at receipt, and even though the returned i Howard Ange, an operator on the 6th
“Of course not, my dear, but what
e depot when she arrived, will tell the money, the transaction might bring ! corps line, met with a particularly sad smells like kerosene.”
crumbs on the top, ami bake slofor did they do?”
“It was kerosene.”
>v she left.
“Attanded to their business, which
two hours. When cold slice it tl
him under the strong arm of the law, fate in the Shenandoah valley in August,
“Ah! then I was correct.”
“Why goodness gracious, Mary! for which he entertained an exaggerated , 1864, writes J. D. Chandler in the
some men I know don’t always do.”
He lingered until the third man came
ick already? I thought you were go- respect. Unwilling to lose the chance j Washington Pont.
“What was their business?”
f to spend several days in Louisville.” of so much profit, he hade the fsailor
Gen. Sheridan hail taken command up. The new arrival picked up the in nice-sized pieces, wash well, ay.
“Well, they met to send out speakers
to ptiimp the State.”
"Well. I’ll tell you why I came back return at a certain hour, telling him he and moved his headquarters from Ilar- handle of the broken jug and remarked: Then fry a nice brown,
“Bless me! but this must have been onions, slice very thin, ami fl >,
Mon,” she said in almost a whisper; should then have the garment he so per’s Ferry to Charleston. The 6th
“They had to select men, of course.’’
and dredge with flour, Put a a
corps was out on the Berryville road a jug?”
“I’m sorry to say they did, and the
saucepan with pepper, salt and, e worst part of it was your name was sug
“Disgusted! And why?”
It was just as he feared. When the above Halltown, where the two roads
“And it had kerosene in it,” lie con good stock or water. lad it stew y gested.”
“Why you see it was given out in the dusky customers arrived they refused to and lines met. Ange had been stationed
‘Pers that the governor of Arkansaw accept their money back again, flourished with his wagon and instrument to trans tinued as he rubbed his finger on the two hours, adding a little cats 11
“Ah, indeed?” and Topnoody smiled
minutes before serving. Stir I in an exceedingly self-satisfied way; “I
»Id wear at the exposition a suit of the receipt, and threatened to appeal to fer messages between headquarters, the walk and sniffed at it.
ain glad I have some reputation among
*bes made within only a few hours the Judge if their property were not at 6th corps and Harper’s Ferry.
“Well, by George! but that’s queer!”
Eoo P lant .—Cut it in slices at i the ladies.**
No enemy was believed to lie near,
>m the time the cotton was picked .once handed over to them. A small
He also waited, and a fourth man inch, take off the purple rind, 1
“Don’t be proud, Topnoody.”
•»the field in Arkansaw.”
bribe, offered as an inducement to them and wagons and troops were constantly
“But my dear, there is something to
“Gh.that was a novelty, surely.”
to forego their bargain, had to lie in- passing; therefore, no guard was left come up and went through about the slices lie in salt and water for two
and creased to a large one before it produced with tlie operator. One warm, drowsy same jierformance. Then a fifth, sixth then steam them until they are so to be proud of in that, I think.”
, "Well, I went to the exposition,
“I suggested it myself,”
' a good seat close up to where the , any effect, and when one wavered his afternoon the operator at Sheridan’s and seventh came, and by and by there that you can pierce them easily M
“You don’t say so?”
'-emor and other notables were sitting
’ >anion ]ieiJ firm. At last the couceur headquarters was receiving a message were thirty men in the group, and more j fork, then take them from the su
Each one and dip them in very fine bread crl
** after a few moments I discovered ' was considerable
- - - • enough
k ,.»). both, from the 6th corps through Ange.
Sud coming every moment.
“Yes, Topnoody, I got up and said
at the governor hadn’t put on the new and was handed over to them in addition denly the instrument stopped. Then it picked up a piece of the jug, looked it i or cracker crumbs, salted and pepd that I thought if Mr. Topnoody’« none
t yet. for the mayor of Louisville was to their original purchase money. The went on a half minute spasmodically all over, snuffed at it and put on an ex These crumbs must lie rolled very could lie secured for the campaign it
•senting it to him; and just as the receipt was torn up, and the merchant and incoherently. A short pause again ; pression of interest, and one man had and it is an improvement to shake could lie carried around and shown up
•yor picked up the pants to hand to found himself once more in legal pos then it slowlv but clearly spelled out asked if the Coroner had been notified, 1 through a coarse sieve. Fry the during the day as an awful result of in-
when a policeman pushed his way in ■ ,,f egg plant in hot lard,
tenqierance, and at night it would do for
m I got up anil left.”
session of the shawl, with a fair though ..S_h—o—t.”
“Good heavens!” cried the headquar and asked:
T apioca P udding .—Soak eight l a red light to hang out in front of the
“What did you leave for, Mary ?”
greatly diminished margin left for profit.
“What's this all about?”
; spoonfuls of tapioca in a quart of ' [hall The question was voted on and
“Why, my goodness! do you think I He hurried to the door to await the re ters operator, poor Ange is shot.”
“Why,” answered the man who had water
____ __ or ___
.... »oft; then adc (lloet, because it was thought by the en-
“ How do you know ?” demanded an
B going to sit there and see him put turn of the extravagant seaman; and
started the affair, “I put some keresone tablespoonfuls melted butter, fivejtire meeting that the nose couldn’t lie
! his pants? It was awful; it was was just in time to see that ingenious aide who was near.
“Because his instrument has said so into a jug anil let the jug fall onto the well beaten, spice, sugar and wirecured without the man, and the en-
••king,disgusting!”—[Kentucky State son of Naptune, as solier as a Lord
taste. Bake in buttered dish and firety would be such a load on the cause
Chief Justice, dividing the prrxeeds of and stopped.”
Some of the crowd tried to laugh as out lining._____________________ I,M bi make the whole party get drunk to
Swift horsemen quickly leaped over
“What’s the matter with the pig?' shipmates at the end of the narrow the four miles to the place. They found it suddenly broke up, and some said
[Down its arrows. Now let me see you
■•d the city chap of Farmer Furrow,
Ange’s wagon standing quietly in the I they would pound him if they had to
imile .. when - you think ... the
--- women are
I wait a whole year, while the officer
*> stood by the pen gazing at the
A singular accident occurred dnnng shade. They looked in and saw the
outing animal. “Oh, I guess he's
didn’t let her see.—[.Mer
the time of the great exhibition of 1851, operator sitting dead, with the nerveless | went
“This will bear looking into. Where where the Isiyisi were playing at Hr man
'the thumps,” said the old man. which affords a curious converse to the hand which had sent the last message
"kat sort of a thing is the thumps? principle, or want of principle, of artful still upon the key. He had been shot | was he going with the jug? How came on a recent Sunday, and there!
» —» v
Well, it’s just like w hat you have when
I it to break ? What was he doing with brethren ami sisters knelt in prat
dodges in general. A well-known bar through the breast by bushwhackers, kerosene? Why didn’t the jug contain occupying all the bases ami thus e^ , ...innie Palmer burst into tears lie-
•t pretty girl in the choir makes eyes rister, still living, who was present in who fired through the cover of the wagon
tame the Edinburg stmlents insisted on
¡molasses? I'll have anjeye on him.” tually stopping the game.
you.” grinned the granger. The one of the throngs that attended the and escaped.
pning in her songs when she. sang
bem on the stage. No wonder. We
W man blushed like a beet and opening days at the budding, felt a
Apart from the startling character of —[Detroit Free Press.
It is reported that the Postmamould
think - il ’* Would
unmered: “Wha-wha-what do you fumbling in the region of his watch the fatality itself jnst described, and the
““>• sir, by that?” “Oh, nothin’, pocket, and looking down, saw a man s sublimity ot a sudden fall at the post of
And now the Tennssee papers say it General will recommend an increaed Iwar a party of Hcotch stiidentZsinJ
<1 a lot
’kin'.” soothingly replied the farmer,
hafid swiftlv retreating. Ho made a duty, there could hardly he a more im is Andrew Jackson and not Andrew
os scratched the pig’s back with a snatch at the wrist, but the chief eluded pressive circumstance of death than a Johnson whose head will adorn the new half to a whole ounce, an;l a redmt
fk* "the poor critter’s only got an his grasp, dropped the watch, and made man’s last word uttered distinctly a dis four-cent stamp. There is a great dif of the drop-letter ¡setage at free deHI Why in a kiss like a rumor? Ihs ause
*tion of the heart. But he’ll soon good his escai>e. The barrister contrived tance of four miles.
offices from two cents to one.
[passes from mouth to mouth.
ference between the two beads.
it, just like vou.”
A Few Storla«