Yamhill reporter., June 07, 1883, Image 4

look for the key of hiH cellar, which <1 I I? II I H \’ft TF \ I? < those women who are prettiest when •THE COON TRICK j would have it, the ’coonskin was still
he had inadvertently left on a table
they are coldest can cry with advan­
sticking between the logs, as if Job
in the parlor; be was apprehensive
tage. Such ladies get deep rosy
i had flung it there on purpose to
i.. Hul.lt» A uk . i . k M»n anil W <>nj»n ' that his servants might seize the key The Methods of Sympathetic Women to
cheeks and lips, while their noses and How Crockett, tlie Killer of Grizzlier, • tempt me. I was not slow in raising
‘ir Ifu'lier Starve Thu» Key tlw Colll-
hu Kat |fe...aOUie ri i-ullar I aaea.
and rob him of a Ixittle of port wine, Make the Most of Their Cliurms by ears blanch like the lily. They truly was Elected to Congress by an Ingen­ it to the counter; the rum followed,
Gently Weeping.
instead of which he himself was |
are blest, and can wrench diamonds uous Deception on His Constituents.
of course, and I wish I may be shot
,
seized
with
a
chill,
and
died
intestate,
I
by the peck, sealskin sacques, dresses,
if I didn’t, before the day was over,
The strange mania for having ' leaving £200,000 in the funds, which
In 1827 Crucketc was elected to Con ; get ten quarts for the same identical
Every woman, no matter how ob­ bonuets, bonbons, in fact, anything
DUey to a degree that shatters the was shared by five or six day laborers,
tuse, who knows the value of beauty tangible, from their susceptible hus­ gress. In this canvass he played the I skin; and from a fellow, too, who in
mltl’i and mind is becoming com who were his next of kin.’’ Marvel-
parts was considered as sharp
seeks
to make the most of her charms bands with their tears. But when, famous 'coon-skin trick, which he re I those
as a steel trap and as bright as a pew
an, and there are many strange , ous good luck for his poor relations. by secreting moles, freckles, pimples, as ordinarily, a floodtide of salt tears lates as follows:
Here is an instance of a grasping,
makes the eyelids, nose and lips
ter button. •
repotted, each one having its ,
“Well, I started off’to the Cross
ungrateful nature:
Sir William harsh angles, gray hair and crows’ swell, pickles the dimples and gives
•‘This joke secured me my election,
rD moral. The case of M. Oster Smyth, of Bedfordshire, when near­
feet by the use of lotions, powder, the face the appearance of being Roads, dressed in my hunting shirt, i it soon circulated like smoke among
jd, who died at Paris in 1791, is re- ly 70 years of age, was wholly de-
rouge, cosmetics and pencil. Every parboiled, tue game is lost. The and niv rifle on my shoulder. Many ' my constituents, and they allowed
with one accord that the man who
weeper is not only uninteresting but
jrkable as showing that the richest prived of sight; he was persuaded to
movement, attitude and expression positively hideous, and if the looker- of , our constituents had assembled VVFUAVt
could get I the
UV whip
vv iuputllllt
hand of WV/MXJUC-AA-
Job Snell
an m a city may also be the most be couched by a celebrated oculist.
could outwit ....
Old 1
‘ i who, by agreement, was to have 60 is done according to a prescribed on does succumb it is only as a means there to get a t°ste of the quality of ing
„ in fair
‘ ' trade
..........................
iserable one. A few day# before I guineas if he restored his patient to
himself, «„d
and was the real grit
method for performing that opera of escape. When such a deluge the candidates at orating. Job Snell Nick Li,«»«,!?,
s death, some of his acquaintances any degree of sight. The oculist
tion Her voice is modulated to a comes on, and every woman knows ing, a gander shanked Yankee, who ^9r (bcm in Congress, After the
election was over I sent Snelling the
ho saw that he was reduced to the succeeded in his operation, and Sir
when to expect it, she can do herself
melodious pitch, and in company she a gracious favor by immediately had been caught somewhere about | I price or the rum, but took good care
st extremity by want of nourish- i \\ illiam was able to read and write,
Plymouth Bay and been shipped to jq keep the fact from the knowledge
without the use of spectacles, during is never without good manners. She hiding herself.
■ th** rest of his life; but as soon as is strapped up with bands of steel,
Women cry because their lovers the West with a cargo of codfish and of my constituents. Job refused the
I Sir W illiam perceived the good effects whalebone, cable cords, shoulder­ neglect them; cry because they are rum, erected a large shanty and set money and sent me word that it did
; of the oculist' b skill, instead of be-
too ardent; cry because their dress up Shop for the occasion. ‘ A large ^m good to be taken in occasionally
1
t.,
,
, ,
,, ,, (as it served to brighten his ideas; but
’ ing overjoyed, as any other grateful braces, stocking-suspenders and web­ doesn’t tit; their bonnet is being du
I person would have been, be began to belts to keep the hips down, until one plicated; cry when their gloves tear, posse of the voters had assembler! be j nfterward learned that when he
lament the loss (as he called it) of bis might fancy her in armor. If her or their shoes don’t squeak: cry with fore I arrived, and my opponent had i found out the trick that had been
ire and proper nourishment than 60
guineas. His contrivance, there­ hips are low and her back hollow, she vextation at the triumphs of their already made considerable headway »laved upon him he put all the rum I
pin disease. He is stated to have fore,
lad ordered in his bill against my
was how to cheat the ocu­
friends; cry because their diamonds with his speechifying and treating, ) bad
ft to relations, whom he had proba list. now
. ,
, .
.j , ", opponent, who, lieing elated with the
He pretended that he had only has to load hei fragile form with a are waning; cry because their arms ,
lv never seen, the sum of £3.000, a glimmering,
when
they
spied
me
about
a
rifle
shot
B
echee he had made ou tbe affair8
could see nothing wire bustle and a pair of hip-pads get tired before they can make their from the camp, sauntering along as o‘ ^
f
nati
cou,J not descend
)b sterling. Under his bolster were perfectly. For and
that never allow nature to forget her hair stay up; cry at the taunts of big
that
reason
the
band-
1
innd 800,000 livres in paper money. age on his eyes was continued a !
if
I
were
not
a
party
in
business.
esamino
into
tbe
particulars of a bill
brothers,
and
little
brothers,
too;
cry
‘There comes Crockett, cried one. of the vender f ^in ina 81ua]1 w
A miser died in Paris in 1880, leav- month longer than the usual time. ] heedlessness in leaving those tanta-
when
they
get
the
toothache;
cry
liziug
depressions.
False
hair,
false
•Let
us
hear
the
Colonel,
cried
an
_______
J
ig property supposed to be worth By this means he obliged the oculist i
teeth, false eyes, false eyebrows and when they get a proposai. cry when other, and so 1 mounted the stump PK0CESS 0F ELECTRICAL INVENTION,
~.;i £6U.
£!:". Some time elapsed be-1 to'coLpmmd the'bargain, and accimj lashes,
x)Ut
false blushes, false dimples, they don't; they cry to look pretty, that had been cut down for the occa
-------
,re the hen- presented himself but Lf 20 ‘ ine88
g
H
false voices, false laughs and even and cry when they can’t. They are a sion and began to bushwhack in the ; Some very interesting and suggest­
i.:~ doing a/»
° .
,, . ,
1 . his
so n a eanrnh
search was
was mfuln
made in
in ; A . covetous
man
thinks
no
artihce
simpering
set
of
mortals,
and
if
they
false
tears
are
manufactured,
and
ions! approved style.
ive facts are stated by Mr. E. M.
ie miser’s apartment, and no less a too mean which he may legally
had the faintest idea that these in-
"I had not been up long before there Bently, one of the examiners in the
¡in than £32.000 was discovered in a | I practice to eave his money. This nothing that study and art can de cessant
showers
not
only
spoil
the
vise for enhancing beauty is per­
was such an uproar in the crowd that electrical division of the Patent Office.
ipboard.
miserly knight was an old bachelor, mitted to go unrecognized. In spite face but produce a peevish temper I could not hear my own voice, and regarding the wonderful progress of
In a recent case—that of William I and
at the time the oculist couched of all the witty and satirical allusions and petulant disposition, they would some of iny constituents let me know electrical science in the past few
;hodes, known as the Hounslow him is reported to have had a fair es­
liser two charities benefited largely tate. a large sum of money in the to woman’s makeup she is perfectly shut off' the fountain and depend on that they could not listen to me on years. About 2,000 applications for
other persuaders. An argument that such a dry subject as the welfare of patents on electrical inventions were
j’ the miser's hoards. He died worth stocks, and not less than 85.000 in his justified in having recourse to any can
effectually used in cuttiug off the nation until they had something tiled in 1882, of which about two-
early £80,000, all of which he left to house! Dr. King, in Anecdotes of and every method conducive to per­ this be
supply is the unquestion­ to drink, and that 1 must treat ’em. thirds were granted. In 1877 elec-
1(, Royal Free Hospital and the His Own Times, makes the following sonal attraction. Beauty of faceaud able water
that tears injure the sight. Accordingly I jumped down from the tricity was a sub-class in a division;
lifeboat Institution. The miser’s observation when quoting Sir William form, especially if offset by the Tears fact
are romantic enough on paper, rostrum and led the way to the shanty, , now it is the largest and most impor-
ephews and nieces tiied to upset the Smyth’s case: “If you could bestow charms of moral and mental beauty, or in the
of the poet’s ideal, but followed by my constituents, shout tant division in the Patent Office,
ill, but it was upheld, the twochari- on a man of this disposition the has other values besides that of every-day eyes
women should be made of ing ‘Huzza for Crockett.’ and ‘Crockett > This astonishing growth is due chief
¡esthetic pleasures. It is equivalent
es consenting to pay
1,000
guineas
of iHJiii
both the xuuies,
Indies, ue
he would to so many dollars and cents—in hus­ sterner stuff.
•
• i
4. ai • i wealth
tu ui
forever.’
ly to two causes: First, the invention
> the next Lin. I
sal(1 1 iat
not have enough, because bv enough bands, homes, social standing and
"When we entered the shanty Job of the telephone; second, the develop
iserx-ommenced lus savings by pick-, (if sncb a
Jg fo ,)0 folfnd j
FUNNY
FANCIES.
was busy dealing out his rum in a ment of the magneto electrical ma
jg up cigar-ends and other uncon vocabularly of avarice), lie always influence. It is hateful for women to
The Lord may call man to preach, style that showed that he was making i chine. The former has stimulated
idered trifles. His household effects means something more than he is pos­ acknowledge this, but, nevertheless,
such is the state of affairs in modern but he goes on lecturing on his own a good day's work of it, and I called invention of improvements and col-
itched £5 17s.
_
I sessed of.”
society. Unfortunately, women do account.
fora quart of the best, but the crooked lateral appliances, and the latter has
A still more extraordinary case is
The following is an instance (by no
always make the most of their
aat of an English lady, who died in means an isolated one) of good fort- f not
“As free as water” is an old saying critur returned no other answer than afforded a cheap and convenient
______ Gray
__ _____
______________
charms.
hairs,
those
first
flakes
766, at a lodging-house near the j une accruing to next of kin by a I of hairy storms, and the coming of which does not hold good in this city. by pointing at a board over the bar on course of electricity. Immediately
which he had chalked in large letters, following the discoveries of Faraday
¡roadway, in Deptford, at the age of j miser dying intestate. At Northfleet crows' feet are too often hastened by Ice, however, is freeze water.
‘Pay to-day and trust to morrow.’ ' and others from 1830 to 1840, there
5. Her name was Mary Luhorne. | there
ult
.
u
lu
I
.
l
a
The
Khedive
of
Egypt
must
be
the
died, in F772, a Mr. Page, dealer anticipating them. These plunderers
Now that "idea brought me all up was a widespread effort to make
■’or upwards of forty years she lived B|-~
\ ju" n^eston^' — ‘and
proprietor
of
some
paper,
or
else
he
flints, by of beauty should never be looked for,
standing; it was sort of cornering in practical use of them, and special
ii Greenwich and Deptford in the i which occupation, --1 and gun
owns
some
stock
in
one.
His
income
by a most pe and the less one sees the fewer they
which there was no back out. for activity was manifested in the line
host penurious manner, denying her-1 nnrjOU8 way of living, lie had accu will find, for thinking brings them on. is 8735,000 a year.
ready money in the West in those j of electric lighting. The arc light
elf the common necessaries of life. |nulat(,d a fortuu(, ,jf some £12>(m If
A Southern man who, during the
they must come, they will come,
she was known not to have had any , jqe ]jved a]ono ¡n a larg0 house for and there’s an end. Truly they do height of the craze, named his son time's was the shyest, thing in all na , was put into practical form, and the
and it was most particularly shy ' foundations of incandescent lighting
ire or candles in her apartment tor sevel.aj years, no one coming near him mar a pair of pretty bright eyes, but "Pinafore,” hopes he’ll die before the tur',
with me on that occasion.
j were laid. But no economic source
ourteen years prior to lier death. | au ojd Woman in the village, who, very little artistic skill is necessary boy gets big enough to lick him.
"The voters, seeing my predica of electricity was at hand, for the
She frequently begged on the high ()nC(. a dav wenf to makp hjg 1)(,d to tone them down with chalk,
A Harrisburg, Pa., man is bother ment, fell off to the other side, and I galvanic battery consumed too much
wuls when she went on business to ' Hjs deatb
occa8ioned by bis rlln. Egyptian black, or the end of a burnt
ing the Pension Office in Washington was left deserted and alone, as the zinc for profit. The principle of the
lie city.
Notwithstanding her ning (( knifo jntf) th<j Jm
bjg
match. The fashion in vogue a few
he lost a tooth during the Government will be when he no magneto-electric machine had indeed
rretched way of life, after her death hanj whije opening an oyster; the years ago of laughing with the eyes because
war. He should be told to hold his longer has any offices to bestow. I been long known, but it was left for
here were found securities in the wouuj inflamed, and at length morti has proved disastrous, and not a few jaw.
saw. plain as day, that the tide of pop the Italian Pacinotti, in 1881», to per
tank. South Sea. East India and
Though repeatedly requested ladies charge the cluster of creases
ular opinion was against me, and that, feet a machine wherein continuous
Brooklyn
dismisses
from
its
police
itlier stocks to t.:e amount of 840,-
app]y fo a surgeon, he refused, that radiate from the corners of the
uni ss i got some rum speedily, 1 and constant currents were generated,
force
an
officer
who
gets
drunk
and
)00 and upwards, besides jewels and I ^y^g. »All of that profession were eyes to the shut-eye-tight laugh.
beats his wife. He can now get drunk should lose my el<>ction as sure as The idea literally lay on the shelf,
jther precious stones, plate, cmna, fo>fUes, [md WQU]d make a job
bjs
cause for wrinkled faces and beat his wife uninterrupted by there are snake’s in Virginny—and it however, until 1870. when Gramme
Jothes of every kind of the richest Iuisfortnlle?- From bis haviug di(,d is Another
in the habit of making faces or
must be done soon, or even burned reinvented practically the same ina
sort, great quantities of the finest. wd;bout a wil), his money went to a grimaces during laughter. If the official duties.
wouldn’t save me. So I chine and pushed it into notice. He
The title of a new song is: “Put brandy
silks, linen, velvets, etc., unmade, of r(,]atjve very embarrassed circum- habit is too well set, beautifiers give
awhy from the shanty, but in was speedily followed by the Siemens
p’ery great value, besides a large sura stanepg During the latter years of up the case, and center their atten­ Your Arm Around Me, Dear.” We waiked
another guess sort from the wav I en brothers of Berlin and Mr. Brush and
k>f money. Io whom all this treasure | ]ds ]do |j)e miger WOuld neve’’ suffer tion on children who get it by imita­ haven’t seen it yet. but presume it is tered
for on this occasion I had no others in the United States. The
reverted does not appear; it is to be i (_bjs p00r relative to come to his tion. “A laugh,” says the poet, “is the invitation of a lamp-post to a train it, after
me. and not a voice magneto electric machine, affording
‘
tired
”
pedestrian.
moped the miser s next of kin came , bouge and neVer gave him the small- the ripple of the heart,” and of such
shouted ‘Huzzar for Crockett.’ Popu a cheap and abundant supply of
in for a share of it.
The new license bill recently passed larity sometime! depends on a very electricity, immediately rendered
est assistance.
importance is it that dozens of ladies
The neighborhood where Mary Lu-
in this very city take lessons in the by the Ohio State Legislature im­ small matter, indeed; in this particn practical all the half completed in
DEADLY BEASTS AND REPTILES-
horne died seems to be still famous
art. This ambition is gained by so­ poses a tax of 8300 upon spiritualistic lar it was worth a quart of New Eng volitions of thirty years, and opened
for its misers. In 1877 there died at
the way to many new ones. Brush
As many as 20,100 deaths occur ciety people who are too often jealous mediums. This is a unique way to I gland rum and no more.
Woolwich a Mr. .John Ciark, aged 86. j annually in India from snake bites, of the accomplishment as displayed strike the happy medium.
“Well knowing that a crisis was at t got his patent in 1877, Weston soon
He is described as having been a man j | and since 1870 from 150,000 to 200,- on the stage. To be sure a woman is
green is the new shade hand, 1 struck into the woods with my after, an I many other inventors have
of education, but a very singular ' | 000 persons have perished in this not giddy enough to apply for lessons for Cucumber
ties.
The
man who is tied up in rifle on my shoulder—my best friend made new applications of the mar-
character; although reputed as im­
India possesses more deadly in laughing. If the instruction is a knot from the cucumber he has eat­ in time of need—and, as good fortune vellous force.
mensely wealthy, lie was very miserly | | snakes than any other country, and required from one of the professors en will have the intense satisfaction i would have it, I hail not been out
----------------------- ■ -
TREE FENCES.
in his habits, and lived to the last in i s the bite
'
more than a quarter of an hour before ;
of the cobra is often fatal of the art of pleasing she has no hes­ of knowing he is in style.
a squalid hovel in the poorest part of within half an hour. In the year itancy in divulging crudeness, but
I
treed
a
fat
coon,
and
in
the
pulling
______
______________
___
Economy
has led to tree planting
There is a good deal of fitness in
Woolwich The greater portion of 1880, 212,776 serpents of all kinds these artists are as scarce as blue
of a trigger he lay dead at the root of i OI1 aI1 extensive scale in the far West
his life was spent in the accumulation were destroyed, and rewards, amount­ bottles in January, and 850 is not an the selection of Mr. Evarts as the or a tree. I soon whipped his hairy | , and Northwest. Belta of timber are
of books, of which he left a large store. ing in all to 11,663 rupees, were paid unfrequent sum tc invest in merry ator for New York at the opening of jacket off his back, and again bent my taking
,
the place of pine fences along
It was reported that the front shut­ to their destroyers. In the north­ ripples. So the sly maiden takes the big bridge. He can suspend a way toward the shanty, and walked ( the exposed portions of the railroads
sentence
in
the
air
longer
than
any
ters of his house had not been opened west provinces and in Oude a body elocution lessons, and selects for
up to the bar, but not alone, for this . where some barrier must of necessity
for over thirty years; he never took a of Kanjars has been formed for the study only such poems and recita other man in America.
time I had half a dozen of my con­ be maintained against snow drifts.
regular meal, nor did he know the especial purpose of killing off the tions as require a great amount of
A farmers’ journal recommends stituents at my heels. I threw down 1 The fences that have been relied upon
taste of wines or spirits. Yet, not­ venemous reptiles in those districts. laughter. Such practice, if assidu­ “blanketing the bees in winter.” A the coon skin unon the counter and have to be eight feet high, and. be
withstanding that he lived in such a The men receive two rupees per ous, often produces very charming re­ man should lie careful which end of called for a quart of rum, and Job, , sides costing 8800 a mile, need con­
den and suffered such privations, he month, and if a man is so fortunate sults, but such study is not recom­ the l>ee he grasps when he goes to put though busy in dealing out rum, for , stant attention and repair. Further
reached an octogenarian age, and as to destroy more than twenty snakes mended for young children, lest art a blanket on it, or he may "blank it” got to point to his chalked rules and more, the farmers carry off' the lioards,
died worth £40,000, or thereabouts. during that period, he is paid the destroy the spontaneity of nature. A considerably more than he bargained regulations, for he know that a coon and the stoutest oak posts snap like
This book-worm, as well as miser, equivalent of about three pence per voice must be a melody of sweet for.
was as good legal tender for a quart pipe stems in a taorough-going
seems to have been a strange combi­ head for all in excess of that number. sounds to be loud. If produced with
in the West as a New York shilling prairie gale. Trees answer all the
A
living
tortoise
is
on
exhibition
at
nation of avarice and liberality, for. In 1881 wild beasts caused the death open mouth the coral and pearls
any day in the year.
requirements much better.
The
Natchez
which
has
not
eaten
any
­
by his will, he left no less than £6,- of 2,757 persons, as against 2,810 in must be superior to criticism. It is
“My constituents now flocked about white willow, which grows to a height
thing
to
speak
of
for
thirteen
months,
000 to his doctor, also £5,000 to his 1880, and the number of animals considerable of an art to laugh au says an exchange. That’s more than me and cried ‘Huzza for Crockett,’ of twelve feet in four years, has been
housekeeper, besides many legacies killed by them every year is enor­ dibly, merrily, sweetly, and not to
‘Crockett forever,’ and finding the found to be the cheapest and best,
to local charities, and to a number of mous. The leopards are, perhaps, open the mouth wider than is neces­ likely, for, perhaps, the food it eats tide had taken a turn, I told them though the box elder, cotton wood and
is something that nobody would care
poor neighbors by whom he was sur­ the farmers’ worst foes, and the sary to utter the word “doh.’’
several yarns to get them in a good green ash will serve. The soil must
to speak of.
rounded. Knowing well he could tigers rank next; but the wolves aro
humor, and having soon dispatched be prepared by harrowing, however,
Many ladies who are compelled to
The
New
Orleans
Presbyterian
not take his wealth with him, he ap­ but little less destructive. Jn 1881, laugh behind their handkerchiefs
the value of the coon, 1 went out and anil prairie soil is often so poor as to
Synod
has
decided
that
marrying
a
pears to have tried to make some 1,557 tigers and 3,397 leopards were smother the vocal sound. lf only
mounted the stump without opposi require two or three years' work.
deceased
wife
’
s
sister
is
not
an
infrac
reparation for a wasted life by dis killed.
the upper lip is covered the result tion of the Divine Law, but it is, nev­ tion, and a clear majority of the voters Even then, it is said that it ie cheaper
posing of his treasures by a liberal
will be much more agreeable, and a ertheless, an attempt to dodge the re­ followed me to see what I had to offer to use live fences than dead ones.
hand. What his next of kin said
A
C
ool C ustomer .—When Richard­ long mouth, ulcerated gums or de­ sponsibility of two marriages by hav­ for the good of the nation. Before I These tree fences are constructed by
about the legacy of £5,000 to the son’s elevator was being erected, a fective dentals be concealed.
was half through one of my constitu­ planting two parallel lines of trees
ing but one mother-in-law.
doctor is not recorded. Bequests of remarkable exhibition of coolness and
ents moved that they would hear the on the side of tbe tracks exposed to
Although a woman’s greatest power
this nature are a prolific source of presence of mind was given by one is her tears, few know how to shed
In Hindoostan, when a husband balance of my speech after they had the strongest winds, and one line on
litigation.
of the workmen. He was standing • them. Aside from adding to the dies, his widow burns herself to death washed down the first part with some the other side.
An instance of miserable habits in on a scaffolding about thirty feet ; mute eloquence of the eyes, tears on a pile of cord wood. This custom more of Job Snelling’s ext ract of corn­
the great and noble is to be found in high, when one of his companions i enhance a woman’s beauty and over- etssesses one excellent feature. A stalk and molasses; and the question
The rapidity with which the Cod­
the case of that renowned captain, thoughtlessly removed a stone at the i power the giants whom the pugilists indoo doesn’t pay the interest on a being put up it was carried unani ling Moth has liecome disseminated
the Duke of Marlborough, of whom (oot of tbe‘ 8trUcture. The whole i can only master with difficulty. They life insurance policy for 810,000 for mously. It wasn’t considered neces throughout California has aroused
it is chronicled that when in the last thing gave way, and the workman i should be brief, not too wet, and by his wife's second husband to spend. sary to tell the yeas and nays, so we the greatest anxiety among fruit­
stage of life and very infirm, he would . wft9 ®n) saved {rom being dashed to i no means too bitter. They must rush
The Carpenters are the latest fam adjourned to the shanty, and on the growers. At present there is hardly
walk from the public room in Bath,! tfae —ound by seizing a projecting r to the eyelids, linger like dew drops, ily to discover 8200,000,000 of proper­ way I began to reckon that the fate an orchard lietween Del Norte and
to his lodgings on a cold, dark night laJ£ \ybiie hanging suspended in i and when they fall the precipitation ty belonging to them in England. of the nation pretty much depended San Diego in which the pear and
apple trees are not more or less in­
to save 6d in chair fare. He died
air< be did not grOW frantic and I must l>e speedy. To be effective Now, you young fellows needn’t hurry on my shooting another coon.
“While standing at the bar, feeling fested. The few and praiseworthy
worth £1,500.1100.
let go; he simply remarked to a friend they must be premeditated. A whiff off and marry the Carpenter girls on
It is recorded of a Sir James Low- inflow, “Jim, you'll find a ladder on of the tearful onion, a fresh inhala- the strength of that. When they get sort of bashful while Job’s rules and exceptions are in those cases where
_ ___
____ I tion
PnnKent smelling salts, a few the money you won’t be on hand to regulations stared me in the face, 1 the owners have done good, hard
ther that, after changing a piece of the end of
the ______
wharf.” ___
and waited
cast down my eyes and discovered work in combating the pest. In the
ladder wna
was hrnnahf
brought. Than
Then I grains of pepper or a slight irritation hear of it.
silver in George’s Coffee House and a till
- h the lo.idav
one end of the coon skin sticking be Golden State the Codling Moths be
paving 2d for his dish of coffee, be j he said he wonld take it as a personal j of the outer corners of the eyes with
London Truth says that donkey is tween the logs that supported the gin to show themselves at Hint March
was helped into his chariot (he was . favor if bis fellow workman and com 1 a match or tooth pick will suffice for
very lame and infirm) and went home. panion would refrain from removing a copious flow, and if the lover, hus- infinitely better eating than beef or bar. Job had slung it there in the 1. Bandaging the trees should I e
Some time after he went to the same the foundations of the scaffolding ' band or father can lie cornered the I mutton. “There are, however, a good hurry of business. I gave it a sort of gin by the 1st of April, and if the
coffee house on purpose to acquaint again while he was up aloft.—(King I shower will have the desired effect, many persons who could not eat quick jerk, and it followed my hand season is early, two weeks sooner.
' But avoid a frown or scowl. Manu donkey without exi>osing thomselves as natural as if I had been the right­ From all accounts the orchardists are
the woman who kept it that she had ston News.
..---------
facture a feeling of sadness, hold the to the charge of cannibalism.” con ful owner. I slapped it on the coun preparing for an unusuully success
given him a bad halfpenny, and de­
Tracks of a human being have been breath to get up color, pout judici fesses the cannibal of the Chicago ter, and Job, little dreaming that he ful assault on the enemy this year,
manded another in exchange for it.
was barking up the wrong tree, as the State Commissioner has sent
Sir James is stated to have then had found in Nevada showing the length j ously, incline the head to one side, ' Timet.
A young city fellow, dressed in a shoved along another bottle, which out additional directions to aid in the
about £40,000 per annum coming in of the foot to be eighteen inches and droop the lxxly but not the shoulders,
and wa« at a loss whom to appoint the width eight inches. If Chicago use a small, soft finish cambric hand fattitlees suit and a pair of shoes which my constituents onickly disposed of Warfare. The Legislature, now in
with both hands, taking care tapered to a point in the modern style, with great good humor, for some of session, is expected to pass more
mothers don’t keep their daughters . kerchief
’
his heir.
Sir Thomas Colby, an official high at home, instead of letting ‘hem wan ! to rub the eyeball down and out. was visiting in a rural district. A them saw the trick, and then we with stringent laws, enlarging the powers
in office, shortened his existence by der around Nevada, they will get the ' The object in rubbing out is to have bright little boy looked him all over drew to the rostrum to discuss the of the horticultural officers and en
forcing a stricter responsibility upon
his passion for this world's goods, as scientific world into a worse mess than the tears roll over the cheek. There until his eyes rested on these shoes. affairs of the nation.
“I don’t know how it was, but the the owners of infested orchards.
I is too much of the deer sentiment He looked" at hie own feet and then
appears by the following anecdote: the Cardiff Giant did.
when they course down the innocent at his visitor's, and then looking up, voters soon l>ecame dry again, and
"He rose in the middle of the night,
The electric incandescent pocket noee in piteous chase.
said: “Mister, is all your toes tutted nothing wonld do lint we must ad­ Did you ever see a fisherman try
when he was in a very profuse per
journ to the Bhanty, and, as luck to walk a rod, and reelf We bava
It has been observed that only I off but one!”
spiration, and walked down stairs to book is the latest; it is always light
t