Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Telephone=register. (McMinnville, Or.) 1889-1953 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1892)
By DAN DE QUILLE ICopyright, 1803, by American* Pre-s Associ* at ion.] CHAPTER II. THE STORY OF THE SECOND PIKE. "The turtle» left ojT horln arid irent to buttin head».” “When I got ready to start my drove I found I couldn't do the fust thing toards gittin ’em in line. When I’d start a quarter section or so of ’em ahead the rest would liegin morin out sideways, and would soon be so scattered that I had to raise all the niggers in the county, big and little, to go ’round ’em, whip ’em in and get ’em massed agin. “After three or four attempts at start in the drove an ole nigger came into my camp one night ’taint midnight. His bar was white as wool and he looked more'n a hundred year old. He wore a sort of breechclout made of 'possum skins, but nary another stitch of duds. The ole feller stood over six feet high and was straight as an arrer. He looked ’bout the same as any other ole nigger, except his head and face, which made me think of a big snappin turtle. “By a rattle the ole feller had in his hand, and by the string of snake heads and things he had 'round his neck. I seed that the ole feller was a hoodoo doctor. The ole man told me there was only one way of gettin my drove of tarrapin start ed and rnakin ’em travel—I must git for their leader the ‘tarrapin king.’ “I asked whar the king of tarrapins was to be got. The ole doctor told me he was in the big lake in New Madrid— the biggest lake that was formed when This Pike was called Bud. He opened by saying: ‘‘Gents, I can't tell you a fish story, for I never keered a durn 'bont fisliin. I might tell yon some stories of 'gator shootin in Florida, cock figlitin in Cuba. rattlesnake and porker pine fights in Middle and sich like things, for I was allers a dry land sport, and better at gittin up dog and peccary fights and them kind of games than any thing elst. I made mighty well for a good while travelin with two fightin ]>eccaries that I picked up in Texas. I had a figlitin coon to ketch the colored brother, a fightin armadiller from Hon duras and other sich rackets, lmt my greatest show ventnr was made down in < Irleans. "Gents all, though 1 don't look it now, I was onct in a fair way to l>e a bigger man in the show business than old Bar num. My great exerbition was the edercated turtles. For nigh onto six weeks my show drawed ¡siwerfnl—was all the rage. All over New Orleans was seen in big letters, ‘The Edercated Tur "I Ktood up rind pulled on the luilter of tles; the Greatest Lirin Wonder of the my big turtle.” Age.’ the ground sunk in the great airthquakes "I had my hall crammed every day of eighteen hundred and eleven and and every night. Larned perfessors twelve. I asked him how I was to git wrote long articles 'bout ‘the almost this ‘tarrapin king,’ and the ole man human intelligence of the giant soft said he'd git him for me. I asked how shelled turtle.’ I was making money much he'd charge anil when he’d bring hand over fist when an accident hap him. The ole feller said that if I’d give pened that bnsted my business—lint of him one of my tarrapin that he'd pick that you'll soon hear. out and a little nigger boy that I had "My show was a beautiful one and I'd find the tarrapin king stanilin lie •highly instructive,’ as it said on my side my tent at daylight in the mornin. bills. It was my pride to give an exer “I agreed to this, for the little nigger bition. With a light rattan cane in my was sich a devil that I conld do nothin hand I'd appear on the stage, take my with him, and as for the one tarrapin it place near the footlights and relate how didn't signerfy ther snap of a finger. I'd led the life < f a hermit six years on But how the king of the tarrapin was to Florida Keys and at Tortugas, ederca- travel so far in a few hours I conldn’t tin my four turtles; which I'd hatched see. The ole doctor said that was his out in my ls>som from the eggs, and business; all he wanted was for me to which, as would l»e seen, hud now at shake hands on the bargain. I reached tained a length of nearly five feet. I ont my hand and shook, and feelin in had a long speech that a newspaper fel the palm of my hand somethin sharp, ler wrote ont for me for six bits. like claws, I looked and I swar the ole ‘‘At last, when I'd worked up the feller had hands like the fore feet of a andjence to sich a pitch that the cries of big snappin tnrtle. •Trot ont yer turtles' and the whistlin “Soon as the bargain was clinched the and stampin drownded my voice. I'd ole critter went to the door of the tent face about,' flourish my rattan and at and began to shake his rattle. In ’bout the word of command two of the turtles a minute a tarrapin come marchin in would come marchin in from opposite and set up on end liefore the ole doctor. sides of the stage. Then they'd lumber “The ole man told me this was the along down to the footlights, run out tarrapin I must give him. I said, ‘All their heads and make a bow. Then the right, take the darn thing,’ for you see I other pair would march in and take was skeored of it when I seed it set up on their places lietween the first, likewise end. bowin. "The ole man took the tarrapin up in "Music then strikiu np. the turtles liis hands and liegan talkin to it in some would get up on their hind legs, take kind of hoodoo lingo. Turnin to me ho their places and dance a French four. told me he was instrnctin the tarrapin They'd also do double shuffles and ]>at to go and bring the ‘king.’ juba, which fetched all the nigs. They “ ‘If that’s it,’ said I, ‘lie’ll git him played leapfrog, made pyramids and here ’bout this time next year.’ wrestled; also their drill with wooden "The ole nig said nothin; jist made a guns was very pleasiu. The big thing motion for me to come outside the tent. after all was the boxin match at the “A full nnxiu was sliinin bright as wind up. That allers brought down day. The ole man held the tarrapin out the house, but it was that which at last on his open right hand and liegan talkin bnsted the whole business. to it. All at once, as I’m a livin sinner, “One Sunday night, when two of the there come ont from the sides of that turtles was boxin and the other two tarrapin's shell two wings like the wings actin as seconds, the glove contest all at of a bat, only ten times bigger, and away once turned into a reg'lar fight. To the it sailed like a bird. astonishment of all the whites, and to “When I seed this I thought I'd drap. the delight of all the niggers, the tur I was jist divin into the tent when the tles on a sudden left off boxin and went oto man grabbed me by the collar and to buttin heads. hauled me l>ack. Again he liegan to “Only a few dashes was made afore shake his rattle and soon I heard the off went the head of oue of the turtles, sound of a liell. Nearer and nearer it and the other was butted clean ont of come till it sounded clear and lieautiful his shell, exposin to view two little close by. A little black cloud passed naked darky boys. onto the mooli, a dark shadder rushed "A howl went up from the andjence, toards us from somewar and the liell and seein that a rush was likely to be fell at the feet of the ole doctor. made for the stage. I gave the word to “It was 'liotit. the size of a sheep liell, my tnrtles and we all skipped by a back round iu shape and bright as silver. door, rippin the little nigs out'n their The sound of it had set all the tarrapin shells with my jackknife. in motion. They came toards the tent “Next day the papers gave the whole from ¡ill quarters, climbin on one an thing away. They told that to the back other's backs till they were three tarra shells of tnrtles had lieen added artifi pin deep round the ole hoodoo doctor. cial heads and necks, that the belly ]>art “The ole feller then took from among was too fla[>s of cotton cloth sewed to the 'possum skins at his waist a long the edges of the shells, and [minted to line of twisted har, and takin the col imitate shell, and fastening up in front lar of snake heads from his neck ho tied with small, well concealed lvx>ks and the cord to it and hung on the liell. He eyes. They hail it about right. then told me to put the liell and collar "But for the papers hlowin the thing on the king of the tarrapin when he I "would have taken my show np the arrived and to lead him by the cord river as far as St. Louis, and likely clean when 1 was ready to move out with my on to New York. drove. "In gittin np this show the worst of “1 asked if he would take the little the job was fimlin little darkies of jist nigger, seein he was startin off. Hesaid the right build. They had to have long no; he’d take him when he wanted him; necks and small heads to play the part meantime he'd leave him to bringnpthe uf tnrtles. The masks were all the skins rear of my drove. 1 said the boy was of of turtles’ heads greatly stretched and I no account. ‘I’ll make him some ’count.’ fitted with glass eyes, and the boys wore said the ole doctor, and. haulin the little tnrtle slippen tanned till as soft as a kid nig out’n the corner of the tent whar glove. The animal staffer who got np he was snoozin or pretendin to snooze, the rig charged two hundred dollars fol he buzzed in his ear for awhile, then it, ami warranted that no deception told me the boy would lie all right. This could lie detected from the front, nor done, he passed out at. the door of my wonld there have lieen any trouble hut tent, and clown it behind him ordered for the fight between the two little nigs. me not to look out till I heard a great The bnttin bnsted out the show. noise. "A curious thing was that in gittin "I turned in for a nap, and had lieen np the show, when 1 first stripped one of asleep a couple of hours when a noise the littla nigs to fit him into his shell I like the flight of millions of wild pig noticed a peculiar scar on his back. I j eons or the roarin of the sea waked me. asked him how he got it, and he told I got up and found it was broad day me by bein pnt onto a big hook ami used light. My fust look was at the sky, for for cattish bait. Then he ups and tells I thought a cyclone was comin. All me the whole story of his liein swallered was clear overhead, but the roarin kept by a catfish twenty-five feet long; how on. Looking to the ground I then saw he was taken out alive and with but one thousands of acres of tarrapin standin little scratch, all jist as Buck here has ' on end clappin their hands. told ns. I then thought him a awful "Says 1 to myself, ‘it must be that little liar, lmt I now see that the [>oor the king of tarrapins has just arrived.' child was simply tellin me a God's Goin back of the tent, what do I see but truth.” a turtle with a back shell on him as big as the top of an omnibus. Hearin my CHAPTER III. step the monster rose npon his feet. THE STORY OF THE THIRD PIKE. He stood five feet high, and his head After another libation poured to the was as much higher when he stretched “rosy god,” the third Tike, who was up his neck and gazed at me. Ef I’d called ’Lige. said: “I never had no ad seed nothing but the head of the critter venture, liein allers engaged in trado I'd have thought I was lookin the old and specerlation. but B id Crowncr's ac hoodoo doctor in the face. count of his performin turtles nat'rally "In my astonishment I cried out, ‘The brings to mind my gr< it tarrapin spec king of the tarrapins!’ If I'm not the erlation. Hearin of the big prices that biggest liar in America the big turtle was bein paid for tarrapin stews in ■odded ¡is much as to say, ‘You’ve said Washoe and California in the airly and it.’ flush times of the silver mines by min “Thinks I, now I’ll just skeer that lit ing superintenders, big lawyers. s[>orts tle nigger inter fits. I snaked the boy and highfliers in giucral. I concluded to outen his nest and on a sudden pushed make a bold stroke for a fortin. him'round the corner of the tent. In “I collected all the tarrapin I could : stead of droppin down in a faint the find in Missouri; then hail brought to me little devil gave a yelp of delight, and all that the niggers and ‘white trash’ in junipin on the back of the big tnrtle put Kaintucky, Tennessee and Arkansaw his arms ’round its neck and began to could skeer up. When all the tarrapin kiss its ugly mouth. 1 expected every had come in they covered four sections minute to see the boy’s head snapped off, of land as thick as the cobblestones iu blit the big turtle seemed to rather like an old St. Louis pavement. All the peo the foolin. ple for fifty miles around come to see "While I was at breakfast the cheerin the sight. Every son of a gun of 'em of the acres on acres of tarrapin sub tried to pump me to find ont what I was sided. Takin the collar and bell out, I goin to do with them four sections of went up to the tarrapin king. He held tarrapin. I kept mum or told 'em lies. down his neck and I fastened on the col Not a soul suspected that I was prepariu lar. Thinks I, ‘Ole feller, you’ve been to make a great tarrapin drive acrost the well trained.’ The big turtle give him plains to Washoe and California. self a shake, and at the sound of the by messenger, as suits'one’s cônvëHienêe. 1 bell all the tarrapin for miles ’round fen years 1 had the biggest terrapin ' THE AFTERNOON TEA. In largo communities where social en raised their heads. ranch in America.” gagements are apt to be numerous and — — “Next I piled my tent and other traps ; “One thing more,” said the Pike, j hostess may issue these on the back of the big turtle, and takin | “Did you never see anything of my big | HOW IT IS DISTINGUISHED FROM ' conflicting cards a fortnight in advance of the date. the hair rope, struck my course and led j bell turtle what kicked your kneepan I KETTLEDRUMS AND HIGH TEAS. Three or four days, or a wfcek at most, out, tellin the darky boy to stand whar j open?” is ample notice Jor smaller places. he was and bring up the rear. Lookin “Yep; I fixed him?” On the designated day the parlor floor Evolution of a I’leasnnt Social Custom of back after I had gone some distance, the “What?” “Well, one day a man came riding to England in America—How to Give a of the house is put in order, and bowls whole face of the country seemed in mo and vases of Sowers are placed about. In tion. Four solid sections of tarrapin fol my house yelling: ‘Joe, Joe, Joe! Joe, Tea in Town or Country—A Promoter ¡ an inner room adjoining, or near that lowed the sound of the bell. Afore night your tarrapins is all marchiu away from of Hospitality. into which the guests first enter, a small they’d formed in a column twenty rods your ranch. Go an head ’em off or [Copyright. 1592, by American Press Associa- ¡ table is spread with a dainty teacloth you’ll lose every mother's son of ’em!’ wide and several miles long. tionj ar.d set out with the tea and chocolate “I mounted my horse and struck out. “The tarrapin moved at a pretty fair service, or, if preferred, simply a tea serv for Infants and Children gait, grazin and pickin up their feed as A column of terrapins five miles long ice, which should include a kettle swung they traveled, which I was glad to see. was moving across the plain, the big over a spirit lamp. I’ll not bother you with an account of bell turtle at the head steering straight j Cantoria cures Oolic, Constipation. “CMterla ao veil adaptrd to chlldmi th^ Pretty plates or small trays spread Sour Stomach, IliarrtKw*. Eructation. I recommend it u auperior to any prescription the trip day by day and week by week. back toward Missouri. Kills Worms, give, sleep, and prumotM d. with a fringed napkin and piled with known to me." H. A. AncHra, M. D., “I lassoed the old devil, but nothing It is enough to say that I got along fine W itEout jnjurious medication. wafers, crackers or any of the crisp, Ill So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. T. till after I struck the deserts and dry could stop or turn him. He was as ROPERLY speaking, toothsome tea cakes are added just be and gravelly plains of Colorado. Then strong as a rhinoceros. He dragged me "For several years I have recouitneadel there are three grades of fore the “tea" begins. At this table an " The uae of ‘ Caatoria' is so universal and my troubles began. The sharp stones and my horse along as if we were mere your • Castoria.' and shall always conunue to its merits so well known that it seems a work “teas” — the “5 o'clock intimate friend is asked to sit and dis made my tarrapin footsore. Soon they toys. I says to myself, ‘This is no do so as it has in.ariabb- produced beneficial of sup.rwox.tion to endorse it.' Few are the results. ” tea,” the “afternoon tea” pense tea. intsitorent families who do not keep Castori. got so lame they conld hardly travel. human turtle,’ and leaving my lasso on witblueasyreMh." _ __ Enwnt F. Past».. M. D., In a village v/liere the guests cannot Finally I was obliged to stop at a big the old fellow’s neck I went back home.” and the “kettledrum.” Originallv the Caatos M aktyk . D.D.. “ The Winthrop,'' rsth Street and 7th Av.., New York City. “You give in to him—you let him 5 o’clock tea in England was the light be very numerous a single tea service foundry, have shoes cast for them and New York City. I Ate l'astor Bloomingdale Reformed Church. breaking of the fast between the 2 will suffice. At large “teas” hostesses git every mother’s son of ’em shod. I go?” cried the Pike. “Noap,” said Joe; “I went home, o’clock luncheon and the 8 o'clock din place extra sugar bowls and cream had a set of shoes cast for the big turtle, Tax Csxvaca Coirrainr, 77 Mussar Svasar, Naw Yosa. but he wouldn’t stand shoein. He raired molded some silver bullets, loaded my ner. Society people drove in the row or pitchers on small tables through the paid visits in the early afternoon, and on rooms. A maid is then needed to hand and pitched, snorted, belleredand kicked revolver with ’em and rode back. “The column of terrapin was then at returning felt the need of a bit of nour the cups of tea around. Usually the the blacksmiths sprawling, so we had to least ten miles long and moving over ishment before beginning the serious beverage is served in the English fash let up on him. ion, with cream. Often, however, Rus “Next we got into great sandy plains the plain like a monster tapeworm. I dinner toilet. In country houses the pretext of tea sian tea, clear, with a slice of lemon in whar water was scarce and the sun aw commanded the big turtle to halt. He ful hot. There it was slow and lazy went on. Dismounting, I said, ‘Stop and and biscuits—a generic term for crack each cup, is offered. In either case travelin. Findin that my big lead tnrtle turn back or I’ll shoot.’ On he went. I ers iu England—similarly assembled the lump sugar is indispensable. The hostess, with her daughters, if she was strong as an ox, I used to get on his stuck the pistol on his neck, just at the household for a half hour’s cozy chat liefore the open fire, the ladies in loose have any, or any friends who may be back and ride most of the time. ' edge of his shell, and fired. “At the crack of the pistol there fell gowns and the men in shooting jackets. assisting, stands just inside the parlor “ ’Bout this time I noticed that my little nigger Ixiy was alius a-slippin out at my feet an old white headed nigger In town it was the hour when the chate door to receive her friends. The guests and packin his blanket. What he was and a stream ef blood spouted out of laine was sure to be at home and the are gloved and bonneted, but in cold weather a room should be ready where up to I couldn't think. So one day I got his neck as big as a hoehandle. He intimates of the family “dropped in.” Gradually its function became en heavy wraps may be laid aside. All off my bell turtle, tied the lead rope gave an awful bellow and sat np and larged. The “5 o'clock” was dropped, visitors drop tjieir cards in a tray or 'bout his neck and told him to go ahead. rolled his eyes at me. "Up comes a terrapin and makes a and a "tea” became a certain day “at basket provided for the purpose in the I stopped and stood by the side of the road while the column moved past. The dive for the bell that was on the old fel home” from 3 to 5 or 4 to G, as the host hall. It is not necessary to send regrets frig'» ('ream flalm in not a liquid, *nuff or ponder. Applied into the nottrilt it ü ion, heal» quietly abiurbed. It cleante, the ar id, allayi in ground was so paved with tarrapin that low's neck. It was a big terrapin and ess approved, at which tea and chocolate if yon are not able to accept a “tea" in toret. druogieU or lent by mail on a the sores. Md by druggieU vitation. A call afterward is, however, you couldn’t haVe stuck your finger was getting bigger every second -ex and varied biscuits were served. Finally by the addition of cream and expected. panding in every way. down between ’em. ELY BROTHERS, 56 Warren Street If you have aiuoag your list a friend “ ‘Alia!’ cries I, and I sent a silver sorbets the “kettledrum,” or “drum,” “At last the rear of the column ap who plays well or recites or sings, it is proached, and what did I see? That little bullet into the thing, when down tum as it is usually called, was evolved. One more form of the same general style of a pleasant diversion to lieg her contribu nigger had spread his blanket out on the bles a little nigger boy. “Next minute something brushed me entertainment is the “high tea.” This tion to vonr "afternoon.” At formal backs of the tarrapin, and ef he wasn’t a-layin tliar sound asleep I'm the biggest in the face that felt like a leather apron, corresponds to an ordinary village tea city affairs half an honfsstay is all that liar in the world. I took out my pistol and down drops a flying terrapin and party. Guests enough to sit around the society women, with perhaps the neces to shoot him, but reflectin that he be grabs at the silver bell. I pops this table are invited, the table is spread, and sity to show at halT a dozen iu an after longed to the hoodoo doctor, and also one with a silver bullet, and before me hot bread muffins or waffles, broiled noon, can give. It is, however, a com that I might kill a tarrapin, I let him lies an old nigger woman all a-kicking chicken, croquettes or other warm pliment to one’s hostess to spend nearly dishes served with fruits and small the time designated on the cards. alone. Ind a-squalling. “Color” teas—pink, yellow, heliotrope “Soon the sand got worse. For four “In three minutes all three were dead, cakes. The hostess pours tea and choco and other tints—are easily managed days we found no water. All the tar and I then took the silver bell and col late at one end of the table. From the cities the “afternoon tea" with the introduction of color effects in rapin was pantin like lizards. We was lar off the old man's neck. I started nearin the Platte river, but I was afeard back toward home a-ringing the bell has crept through the country. In town the decoration. M argaret II. W elch . of great loss before reachin it. How and the whole band of terrapins turned and village alike it is valued as an easy ever, we toiled on and at last I seed a about and marched after me. From promoter of hospitality, and its still The world ’ s psychic congress, the stragglin line of cottonwood trees, and that hour I was the ‘king of the terra wider adoption is a thing to lie urged. only one of the many at Chicago next To give a "tea ” a woman takes her : standin up on the back of my turtle 1 pins.’ I could lead ’em anywhere, though summer to place women on its advisory waved my hat and cried, ‘Hurrah, the they’d never leave the swamp until they engraved card and writes beneath her council, is to have also a special wom name thus: Platte!’ heard the music of that silver bell.” an’s committee of arrangements. Mrs. M bs . Jons B rows , “At this moment the whole of the col “Stranger, shake hands'." cried the Mary Bundy, of Chicago, is chairman of At Home umn of tarrapin smelt the water and Pike. “I hope you made half a million December eighth. this woman’s committee. Women will stampeded. The king sat off on a gal out’n them tarrapin, and I don't be Tea at three o'clock. be able to assist greatly at the world’s Bcott’a Emulsion cures Coughs, lop for the river and all the rest follered, grudge it to you. In what you've told Ot in lieu of the latter sentence may psychic congress. Their psychic facul Colds, Coasnmption, Scrofula and kickin np a great clond of dust. I stood you’ve mor'n paid me for all my trou be written the words, "From 3 to 5 i ties arc usually more highly developed all A—mie and Wasting Diseases. np and pulled on the halter of my big ble and losses. This is the happiest day o'clock.” This card inclosed in an en- , than those of men, and they take more Prevents Wasting in ch ldrc !. Al» turtle, but couldn’t turn him an inch. of my life. Buck and Bud never wonld velope may be sent by post or delivered 1 Interest in the subject. Boost su palatable a, tnllk Gel only At last, seein he was goin straight into believe in my tarrapin drive, but now tke Kenulne. Treia-red by Scott the river, I leaped from his back. I was they've got to back water—now the Bowne, Chemists, New York. Sold by jist in time, for at the next jump he whole thing is proved Gospel truth!” all Druggists. went over the bank into ten feet of wa After a parting round of redeye the ter. The whole column of tarrapin ful three Pikes took leave of us. They A San Francisco Paper lered, tumblin off the bank into the marched Indian file into the tules skirt EXFI.A NATION .—The following picture contains four faces, a man and hie three daughters. river in asolili sheet with a roar like a ing the northern end of the lake. They Would Form an Interesting Addition Anyone can find the man's face, but it is not so easy to distinguish the faces of the three young L-ulir» big milldani. parted the tall rushes to right and left, The picture was published in a few newspapers some time ago, and attracted considerable attention to “I could only stand back, look on and as a farmer waves aside the stalks when our standard remedies. We now offer a new prize competition in connection with it. As the sole object to Your Winter Reading. is to introduce our medicines into new hemes, those who entered the former competition are requested tear my lia'r, for I seed that as fast as the he passes through a field of growing not to compete if this one. As to the reliability of “The Ford Pill Co.,” and the estimation in which their tarrapin struck the water they went to grain. They made a bee line for the medicines are held in Toronto, Canada, where they arc best known, patrons are referred to the daily newspapers! wholesale druggists and leading business bouses generally of lorcutc. the bottom. Owin to their heavy iron ranching settlement lying to the west shoes they couldn’t swim a lick. ward of the lake along the timbered TIIF, • • • • “I danced about, swung my hat and foothills of the Sierras. Shouted, tryin to head off and save a few Our chief of commissary looked after acres of the tarrapin, but to git in front the retreating Pikes and said, “Three it 'em wonld have been as bad as gittin as queer and well matched cattle as I before a herd of buffalo, so I was obliged ever saw, and as capable drinkers!” Io see ’em ail leap over the bank. “Three tolerably capable liars,” said IS THE BEST PAPER IN THE. WEST'. “I was as good as ruined, lint I did our chief cook, who was always grum have one laugh surprised out'n me. That bling. Was when the rear of the column came “The only thing worthy of a second np and I see the little nig stretched on thought in all their yarns,” said the g ven away value his blanket tossed to and fro as by the critic of our party, “is this—how came waves of tlie sea. Over he went into that fellow Lige to know that Colorado the river and down to the bottom under Joe here—a stranger to him—had a It Is brimful of news from all parts of the world, and its IJterary Department la auppl 11 v th« a shower of tarrapin. scar on the cap of his right knee?” foremost writers of the day. In addition to ill great news and literary feature«, “One lone tarrapin stopped on the “Um, the fact is,” said Joe, “I bank instead of jumpin into the water. ‘bunked’ at the cabin of the three Pikes IT GIVES TO EVERY SUBSCRIBER HIS CHOICE FROM TWO Says 1 to myself, ‘I'll jist ketch you for last night when you here thought I was MAGNIFICENT WORKS OF ART, luck.’ I stooped to pick him np when lodged at a hotel in Franktown, at the out came a pair of wings and he sailed other end of the lake.” The Examiner’s Art Album, away across the river. If I hadn't seen Critic—Ah, I see! So it is to you we Consistingof eight beautiful reproductions from masterpieces of the wor 1.1’» ¿.»«at this infernal flyin tarrapin before I'd are indebted for the visit and peculiar est artists, the whole collection bound in a handsome bamboo leatherette < a»e, have fainted and tumbled into the river. style of entertainment we have been Or a beautiful reproduction, In all of its original colors, of the fonious liistoibdl “1 watched the devilish thing and favored with today? painting, 22x28 inches, seed it land near the opposite bank with Colorado Joe—Yep! a big splash. At the same spot and in THE END. Columbus at the Court of Ferdinand and Isabella. an instant up to the surface comes the king of tarrapins, with the little darky- The Instinct of Eating. Aud besides.all this, THE EXAMINER will this year distribute among its subscribris 9,OCO Fra- on his back. Tlie big turtle blowed a miUElS, aggregating in value the stupendous sum of $130,000. This is the fourth annual Hi- tribu All beings, except man, are governed tion, and the list of premiums Is large» and more valuable than ever before offered. Re member that cloud of spray into the air like a spontin by natural instinct, and every being these premiums entail no additional expense to the subscriber whatever. They ore absolutely free. whale, and when it cleared away I seed with a stomach, except man, eats before The cost of the WEEKLY EXAMINER, together with these magnificent premium offers, h the ole hoodoo doctor, an ole woman sleep, and even the human infant, and my little nig leave the edge of the guided by the same instinct, sucks fre water a:id walk off into a little grove of quently day and night, and if its stom wilier trees. ach is empty for any prolonged period The proprietors of “The Ford Pill Co.," will give an elegant pair of Shetland PonleS- carriage and Harness, valued at >600, (delivered free in any part of the United States, “I seed then how I'd been hoodooed it cries long and loud. Digestion re Its regular subscription price. Get the full particulars of this grand offer from the 8 to the Jirs/ person who can make out the three daughters’ faces. To the second will be given an elegant and ruined, for I'd put almost my last quires no interval of rest, and if the Lady s Cold Watch, set in sapphires and diamonds. To the third will be given a pair 01 Stxteeu-Fage Premium List, which we can supply to you, or you cau procure one fro n >u..i fu<t penuuTe Diamond Ear-rinM* To the/<>wrM win be given a handsome China Dinner cent into the venture. As I stood la amount of food during the twenty-four master or Newsdealer. Then, having considered the matter, call ou tts and placeavomhiu 4 uusub Service« io the fijth will be given a Kodak Camera. To the sixth, a Swiss Wlusio mentili on the bank a man on liossback hours is in quantity and quality not be box . Ao the a French Mantel Clock. To the eighth, an elegant Banquet Lamp. To the ninth, a pair of Crown Derby Vases. To the tenth, a complete LaWfl come up and asked what was the matter. yond the physiological limit, it makes no Tennis Set« many other prizes in order ot merit. Every competitor must cut out the above He was a man from the foundry and hurtful difference to tlie stomach how “ Puzzle Picture,” distinguish the three girls’ faces by marking a cross with a lead pencil on each, and enclose same with 15 U. S. two-cent stamps for one of the following “Prize Remed >s:”— one of the blacksmiths tliat had helped few or how short are the intervals be “Ford’s Prize Pills,” “Ford’s Prize Catarrh Remedy,” or “Ford’s Prize shoe, my ’.arrapina tween eating; but it does make a vast Cough Cure.” Select any one of the above remedies you desire. Address “The Ford Pill Co.,” Cor. Wellington & Bay Sts., Toronto, Canada. The person whose envelope is “I told the win that I'd lost my difference in the weak and emaciated postmarked first will be awarded the first prize, and the others in order of merit. As this adver- whole four sections of tarrapin; that one’s welfare to have a modicum of food tisement appears simultaneously throughout the United States, every one has an equal oppor tunity. To the person sending the last correct answer will be given an elegant Upright Concert bein wild with thirst they had stamped in the stomach during the time of sleep, Grand Piano, valued at 8500.00. To the person from the last sending a correct answer ed, jumped into the river and gone to that instead of being consumed by bod will be given a gentleman’s fine Gold •♦Sandoz” Watch, which strikes the hours and quarter hours on small cathedral gong at pleasure, and valued at 8300.00. To the r«wuffrom tbeZorf, a the bottom, where they would stay on ily action it may during the interval im first-class Safety Bicycle, pneumatic tire. To the third from the last, a first-class English Shot account of the iron on their feet. I prove the lowered system. gun. To fourth from the ¿u/, a suite of Parlor Furniture. To the fifth from the last, a That Desirable and Most Beautifully Loeat<‘<l Property Known ax handsome Silver Tea Service. To the sixth from the last, an elegant Piano Lamp. To the didn't say a word about any hoodoo. Should the weakly, the emaciated and seventh from the last,. a handsome pair of Portieres. To the eighth from the last, a genuine “Tlie man asked what I’d take for my the sleepless nightly take a light lunch English leather travelling Trunk. To the ninth from the lest, two pieces of genuine French Statuary, and many other prizes in order of merit. whole drove ut tarrapin as they lay at or meal of simple, nutritious food be the bottom of the river. 11 asked what fore going to lied, nine in ten of them SPECIAI j prizes for each state . he conld do with’em. He said: ‘Iron would be thereby lifted into a better Is wutli a big price out here. I might standard of health.—New York Ledger. A special prize of a Silk Dress Pattern (sixteen yards, any color), or a first-clais Sewing Machine (any make desired) will be given to the first person in each State in the dredge the river and git tlie shoes.’ U. S. who can make out the three daughters’ faces. We shall give away 200 valuable prize«, “ ‘Wliat’ll you give?’ says I. besides special prizes, (if there should be so many sending correct answers.) No charge is made for boxing Quick Eating. and packing of prizes. The names of the leading prize winners will be published in connection with our “ ‘Enough to take you to California,’ An old and quaint little woman sells advertisement in leading newspapers next month. Extra premiums will be given to oniy those who are Situate and adjoining the BAPTIST i'OLLEGE and Park; Only five says the feller. willing to assist in introducing our medicines. Nothing is charged for the prizes in any way. They pies and tarts in Exchange place, just minutes walk from the main street of McMinnville; By taking into con are absolutely given away to introduce and advertise •• Ford’s Prize Reined les,” which are stand “ ‘It’s a whack.’ says 1, and as soon as off Broad street. She brings her stock ard medicines, and will be used in every family for years where they have been once introduced. All sideration the Fine Avenues and Streets, the Sightly Situation and Ixivr- I had the money- in my pocket I cut down town early in the morning in a prizes will be awarded strictly in order of merit, and with perfect satisfaction to the public. The remedies will be sent by mail, postpaid, and prizes free of duty. lj’ Surroundings Pleasant Home addition furnishes the grandest anti stick, bein afeared the blame fool would large basket and arranges it upon a back out. So on I came to this neck o’ piece of oilcloth spread in the street most convenient property for those desiring a Ix-autiful home. Pleasant A WATCH FOR EVERY CORRECT ANSWER. woods, and here I am yet and poor as close to the curb. Her customers are Home is subdivided in four acre-blocks and is sold on reasonable terms. An extra premium of a genuine •♦Fearless” Watch, (stem winder,) will be awarded to every Job's turkey.” mostly brokers’ messenger boys, and, For information apply to WM. F. BKIEDENSTEIN. Stile Agent, person who sends a correct answer within 30 days after this ad vertisement appears, in case they should not "Did you eveirhear how the man came unlike the typical district telegraph be fortunate enough to secure one of the larger prizes. That is, if any one can find the three faces and Cor. Third Street and Railroad. McMinnville, Or. enclose them within 30 days from the time this advertisement appears in the newspaper, they are out who liought your terrapin drive?” boy, they are usually in a hurry. Min guaranteed either one of the leading prizes, or an extra premium of a watch on conditions stated. asked a man of our party known as Col utes are procions in the delivery of No answer will be noticed that does not contain 30 cents for one of Ford’s Prize Remedies. Address THE FORD PILL CO, “37,” Cor. Wellington & Bay Sts., Toronto, Canada. orado Joe. stocks, checlis or orders to buy, and the “Never a word,” said the Pike. broker’s boy generally times himself Notice of Final Settlement. "Well,” said Joe, “1 can afford to treat while eating his modest luncheon. For on that trade.” the especial benefit of such customers NOTICE is hereby given that the under as the administratrix of theestate of “Are you the man 1 sold ont to?” the quaint little pie woman keeps a tiny signed Edwin B. Fellows, deceased has Tiled her “The very man.” clock, which dangles from the handle of final account as such administratrix, in "I swar!” cried the Pike; “I thought her basket, and tells each boy just how the county court of Yamhill county. Ore I’d seed you before. Let me see you get much time ho devotes to the absorption gon. and ¿aid court has set the 3rd day of at the hour of ten o’clock a. np and walk. Jist so<—jist so! You’re the of pastry. The average boy can devour January, in of said day at the county court room at man that got his right kneecap split by ' a five cent pie in about one minute.— McMinnville, Oregon, as the time and place a kick from my big bell turtle." for hearing said account. fit. Vi tn« Dance Cured. VITI ' New York Times. > Therefore, all persons interested in said S a » A ndreas , Cat Co., Cal., Feb. 18». “There you see the sear.” said Joe, estate are hereby notified and required to My boy, 13 years old, was so affected by St. baring his right leg. The Bicycle Stoop. be and appear at said time and place and Dance that he could not go to school for “Waal, I swar!” cried the Pike. “Didi • The safety stoop is liecoming univer- show cause, if any there be, why said ac 2 Vitus years. Two bottles of Pastor Koenig’s Nerve yon rekiver much iron?" 1 sal. The almost invariable tendency of count should not be allowed and said estate Tonic restored his health, and he is now at “About all the iron and terrapins also.” | the bicycle rider is toward the "racing be not tinallysettled and said administratrix tending school again. Will be Especially Interesting during the Fall Cam ELVIRA D FELLOWS. MICHAEL OCONNEL. "The devil! The tarratpit. too? Why | form,” and if this is persisted in an up discharged F. W. Fenton. Administratrix. paign. Subscribe Now. how could yon git the tarrapin when right man, physically speaking, will lie Could Have Saved Misery. Atty for Estate (Nov. 17—18) they were sunk in ten feet of water?" j an exception among us and the “safety S ax F bancisoo , Cal.. January, ’89. I was treated by several physicians since 7 and the Pike began to look wild. JAPANESE ‘ stoop” will become the rule. The years to get cured of epilepsy, but the attack be “No trick at all,” said Joe. "I bought "safety” bicycle is a practical machine, came more violent and oftener; since I take Pas all the horseshoe magnets in Denver, . which” the “ordinary” was not, but the tor Koenig’s Nerve Tonic I feel delighted at my stuck ’em onto the ends of poles and. set j “safety” has an influence upon its rider « Two acre* of land iu tin* John Lynch ad I improvement. Had I known of this remedy a whole army of men and lioys to fish to stoop as in caressment which the dition to McMinnville. G om I hoiist with 1 years ago, I could nave saved much misery and young tmit an<l good water. Enquire at A new and Complete Treatment, consist ing np the terrapins. At every prod “ordinary” did not possess in any the premises. ing of Suppositores, Ointment in Capsules, wor rim ent of mind and body. they’d bri »; up a terrapin, and some i marked degree. MBS. W. PETERS. • tf. J. II BOGUE. also in box and Pills; a positive cure for times two or three, their iron shoes stick i The L. A. W. should incite the wheel- External. Internal. Blind or Bleeding, Itch ing fast to the magnets.” 1 men to uprightness of carriage, which ing. Chronic, recent or hereditary Piles,and TUAOC MAKI, Farm for Sale "Not alive, was they?” asked the Pike-. * is next to uprightness of conduct, so many other diseases and female weakness; oeaiou PATfiUTi rVWV’ COPVWfOHTS, wtw. “Yep; all alive aud kickin,” said Joe. that the threatened “safety stoop” may it is alwavs a great benefit to the general This remedy baa been prepared by the Reverend ' Contain« so acrei*.-Knitted X inilex n<<tli. health The first discovery of a medical ! SS1!"* HsndbmA write to Koenig, ot Fort Wayne, Ind, since 1878* and “Just nicely refreshed.” be nipped in the bud. The “stoop” is cure rendering an operation with a knife Pastor Ml NN 4 CO.. Ki Bn>.<DW<v, Nrw Yoaa 1 wet of McMinnville. 30 a< rt^ in < ultiin- isnow prepared underbis direction by the for w- urlnc la Alwwk. “See my dam luck!" cried the Pike-, necessary in racing, where leg power is unnecessary hereafter This Remedy has | tion, balance pasture. ErnWx of all kind. <H0«M I uirma Uken b, ut la browvt t^ivre KOENIC MED. CO.. Chicago, IIL I on the place, .‘to, tree. I»caring and liufi tbc public b, « urn Ke out riven free ot cùar*e u> IL. and he seemed ready to shed tears. the great thing, but the human race can never been known to fail $1 per box, G for yoong trees. Good building*., goo l fence« “As soon as I’d git out about ten acre» very well dispense with it.—Boston $5; sent by mail. Why suffer from this ter Sold by Üruîiçisî«: at í 5 6 for •& | and spring waler For terms ni-plv to rible disease when a written guarantee Is Uarzre Sir* «1.*^ »’ * •rt4r«c Bottle. of 'em,” continued Joe, “aud my black i Transcript. for 89. ; owner. J anks . O. L amk . given with six boxes, to refund the money -___ smiths had got the shoes off ’em, 1 sent: I if not cured Send stamp for free sample. McMinnville. Or. l-trçest ruçoltflon ot any arlentllk- paiaar In lb. ’em in a drove to a big swamp down the- Guarantee issued by W oodard , C larke THIS A western girl, Miss Amy Johnson, Co., Wholesale Retail Druggists, Sole Guaranteed to cure Bi limit Attack* and jaw: I1SU all roootba. Addreaa M IJNX* "co* I I £LSS?tUin< Agency of Mesara river. Ont of the four sections of terra- , Constipation, Small Bile Bean*. Agents. Portland. Oregon W. A Y C R A 80*. our autMurUad «eat» rlBLiiHiBj, 3*11 Broadway Naw Yurt- uins I only lost about nine acres. For ; j .'i is started ou an 800-mile bicycle trip. HAY- FEVER VCOLD" HEAD Are you all run down ? Scott's Emul sion of Pure N orwegian Cod Liver Oil and Hypopbospbitcs of Lime and Soda will build you up and put flesh on you and give you a good appetite. Scott's Enmlsiini A Prize Picture Puzzle. THERE ARE MANY REASONS WHt W eekly E xaminer 9,000 1 AL ' *135’0(W "IU"S $1.50 ONLY $1.50 PER YEAR $|.5Q AND FOR SALE. Pleasant Home Addition To McMinnville. ONLY ONE DOLLAR A YEAR FOR THE TELEPHONE-REGISTER. Best Local Paper in Yamhill. For Sale or Trade! C URE P atents >rirntific >meriGm