r-
TELEPHONE
f
VOL. II.
MCMINNVILLE, OREGON, JULY 15, 1887
WEST SIDE 'TELEPHONE.
= ¡
Y I
---- Issued----
THE CARICATURISTS.
THE PERSONAL
PECULIARITIES
AN INTERCEPTED VALENTINE."
With Acknowledgments ta Dr. Talmage.
OF
SOME SAD FUNNY MEN.
Thumbnail Sketch« of Nast and Kep-
Talninge
A
■ ’■.
Heath
Pier, Taylor, Opper, Kemble and
Oth.r^Th. Work The, Have Done.
Curieaturlng |n America.
Publishers and Proprietors.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
At tlie Salmngundi dinner the other night,
One year......................................................... 00
Hix months............................................
1 25 amid sixty of tho jolhest souls imaginable,
Three months...............................................
7J wio was far more sprightly and vivacious
an all the rest. It might not surprise every
Kntered in the Post office at McMinnville. Or
«lie to hear that this was E. W. Kemble, of
as second-class matter.
1 ho Century, one of tho humorous artists of
the day. But to one who knows tho dumb
A SonorouH Voice.
Two men wearing sombreros and long hair humorists of tho times—the men who make
sat opposite each other at n table in a Calhoun fun m silence with ttair pencils—it was ex
place restaurant. The taller of the two was traordinary. Humorists are proverbially
discussing the |ss;uliaritms of a dear frjen<] men of pathetic face and sober mien, but of
all tho almost owlish gravity I ever knew
who hail slier! somewhere iu the state of
among men these pencil humorists have the
Sonora.
most. Take Nast and Keppler, She satirists,
“He wnrn’t much blgger’n a toad," he said for instance. It is said that Keppler is es
ordering a fresh round of drinks, “but lordy’ teemed as a very bright talker in the Ger
liow lie could yell. Never Leered him eh man colony, but neither he nor Nast fa funny
Jack/ Then you don’t know what you’ve or in any degree lively in English. Both are
uussssl. He war u hundred times better’ll the about 50, and faith have made fortunes and
Piute at a yelp, un’ as sure iu I’m a-sittiu’ are taking things easy. Nast fa a dressy, al
here he could outhowl nil the wolves you ever most natty, little man, with a face almost
seen on tbe Cimaron. ’Twar a pecul’ar yelp exactly like the pictures he makes of himself.
this yelp of Ben’s. Beginniu’ with a sigh as He fa wrapped up in domestic joys at his
sclt as tho breeze that sweeps o’er Ingin country home in Morristown. Some of us
buryin’ grounds on moonlite nites, it would got him on his feet at a dinner in Montreal
«lowly grow lousier un’ louder until it sounded tlie other day, but he had nothing to say.
just us the wind does when she gets er W hen he talks at all, which fa in private, he
areechin’through lz«st Stake canyon. But Ben does so extremely sensibly.
never stop|>e<l here, it was after ho pmaesl
Keppler fa an oddity ; he likes to startle the
this point that he made men’s hair turn gray. town with unconventional attire. He fa apt
Liftin’ his voice so high that you’d think he’d to stride through the streets with high lioots,
split bis throat he’sl make tho air suap an’ set worn outside of trousers so patched as to
the rocks und snow a-tunibliu’ down tbe bill». suggest jersey cloth, a tall crowned, turn up
Talk ubout coyotes and wolves and mountain German silk hat, and a Spanish eloak wound
boas! why, Ben could outyell tho whole kit o’ round his body and thrown over one shoulder.
them put together, an’ scare ’em to death to He is a serious man, and funny as his pictures
boot. Compare this yell to suthin’/ It can’t
n Puck often are their purpose fa always
be done, Jack. The difference between this serious. He is most interesting when be talks
v.lioop anil the whoop of an ordinary man of Ufa past, particularly of the days when he
was as great as the difference between the I i was an employe at $15 a week, making
roar of Niagara an’ tho gurglin’ of this licker funny pictures for Frank Leslie, and lie and
down my thrsjut.—Chicago Herald.
Frank Leslie fell out over a $5 increase in hfa
salary.
Upsetting u l’reutlier'i Gravity.
STARTED A FUNNY TAPER.
Dr. Patterson was preaching a very earn
nst discourse and was carrying his congrega
tion with him, when un English pug dog
crossed the line of his vision. The dog at
tracted the attention of no ouo in the auditor
ium, and there was no reason w hy it should
Lave attracted the attention of the preacher,
but tho thought came to him that t he dog bod
its tail curled about as tight us circumstances
would permit. T hen came the question if the
tail was curled once, more wliat would hap
pen. W oukl it not bo jiossiblo to curl the tail
so tight as to lift the hinder parts of the
dog and start him walking cn his fore feet
with his tail in the air? All the time he lqul
been going on with his sermon, but. when this
odd conceit of giving tho dog’s tail an extra
i m l came over him he burst inH a horse
laugh.
The interrupt ion came not only in the mid
dle of a proposition but in tbe middle of a
sentence, lie broko off without ceremony
into a laugh that startled himself quite as
much its the congregation. Once started he
found it very difficult to stop, and although
he used bis handkerchief and mad© a pretence
of having a paroxysm of coughing, still he
laughed till the tears came. Even when he
started again on his sermon he found great
difficulty in getting away from the idea of
that dog’s tail, and several times Ms voice
trembled and ho had to shako himself as one
in a dream.—Chicago Inter Ocean.
Keppler announced his determination to
stai’t a funny paper, and Leslio warned him
that if be did lie would start one just like it
aud drive him out of business. Keppler took
Schwarzmaiin, the foreman of Leslie’s print
ing office, and they together, with $1,500 in
money, started the German edition of Puok.
It was a success, and in a year or two the
English edition was established. This re
mained a feeble bantling until Keppler pub-
lished in it a startling picture of a scene on
Fifth avenue, after tbe death of a fashionable
abortionist. From that day it has flourished,
Now no such pictures are published, both iilus-
trations and letter press having grown very
refined, and yet the paper gained 15,000 cir
culation last year.
Look at some of the junior cartoonists.
Charles Jay Taylor, whose fun is always
original, piquant and elevating, looks as so
ber as a pai*son when he is producing the fun
niest faces and situations on paper. In com
pany ho is retiring and quiet and his wit only
scintillates among those who know him very
intimately. Taylor, by the way, is the only
conspicuous one of his numtar who received
an art education. The rest educated them
selves. Sober as Taylor is, ho is excelled in
this respect by Mr. Zimmerman, of Judge,
than whom the most timid girl could scarcely
be more shy. Yet he can be as audacious and
rollicking with bis pencil as ever William R.
Travers was with his lips. He fa from the
central part of this state and made bis way ,
upward from a humble taginning. He fa still 1
in the thirties.
i
!
!
;
1
l
Slic Made a Mistake.
I
They had conio over from Now York to
SON OF A FORTY-NINER.
Philadelphia on a short trip, and lmd arrived
E. W. Kemble, by tho way, is the son of
at tho hotel in the night. Tho next morning a California Forty-niner, and after a hard
she was sitting at the window looking out.
I struggle attracted the interest of Mark Twain, ;
“What’s going out” asked her husband.
who got him to illustrate “Huckleberry |
“Why, George,” she said innocently, “it’s Finn,” and then introduced him to Cable, the !
tbe funniest funeral procession 1 over saw. novelist, who took him south. Through this
Everybody walking along so slow, and not a he got on The Century. While in tho south
carriage or a hearse in sight anywhere. Just he fell in lovo with the American Afri
look!”
can as a source of humor and any day one is
He stepped to the window.
apt to find him rooted in the street, roaring
“Pshaw!” be said, “tbat’s<no funeral pro in laughter at some comical darky passing
assioli. It's Philadelphia business men going by. As I said, he is the only artist whose
to work.”— Washington Critia
humor is externally visible. He is ataut 32
or 34. There was another, even livelier—tbe
Cost of Tombstone Designs.
late
J. A. Wales—a born entertainer, but he
Weeping angel, age 10, fine finish.8 45 to $75
was too social for his own good.
Weeping angel, with wings........... 60 to 00
Frederick Opper, of Puck, is a round faced,
Weeping angel, age 16................... 55 to 85
meek young man. with mild gray eyes and a
Weeping angel, with wings............ 75 to KM) contemplative liabit, who says funny things
Adult angel, with or without wings yuto 150
in his quiet, grave way, if ta is obliged to, but
Adult angel, with urn..................... 100 to 260 much prefers to listen. He fa closely related
Greek gods, demigods and muses
to De Blowitz, the Paris correspondent of Tbe
{mourning series)........................... 150 to 260 Izindon Times. Hfa sister fa a writer and
Recording angel (with book)......... •JOO to 300 gives him frequent assistance, though the most
—Boston Advertisement
remarkable feminine lieutenant any humor
ist has fa the talented wife of Philip H. Welsh,
Tribute ts> an American Singer.
the witty dialogue writer of The Hun and
The l-'reiis-b peoplo think that Miss Tbursby Puck. Her help explains both the quality |
sbottisi east aside her pirjusiices and sing in and quantity of this wonderful worker's pro
o|«?ra. Her success with tho most difficult ductions.
Caricaturing in America has made enor- I
ssperatic musis* at concerts given here in 1883
was almost without n parallel, hsit the singer mous strides during the ynst ten years. What
herself expresses not tho least desire to be artists rail “comics” have appeared in our il-
come on oiieratic star. American papers have lustrat«l papers for many years past, but no
given accounts of her reception in all the great genius has come to the front Nast and
musical cities of Europe, of tho gold and Keppler are both Germans, but no American
jewels showered upon her, but 1 sio not think has specially distinguished himself in this art
any more than in painting. Europe, it is
that America bus bearsi of one royal gift.
Once she sung at Diagne to an audience of humiliating to confess it, is ahead of us in
piinces. Tho enthusiasm was great. All this respect. America lias not yet produced
■ ompliliientesl her, with the exception of one aGilrav. a Hogarth,aCniikshank, a Browne
prifce, whose name. |ierhaps, was tlie most or even a Du Maurier. We shall improve
with age, and our rising humorous artists are
s-elebrated lie said not a word.
The next slay this silent lover of music a very promising lot—Julian Ralph in New
sailed upon the singer, carrying with him I York Mail and Express.
two nightingales. His presentation speech
Th. Ml|/h»y Mn.lcal Truth.
was moat exquisite: “No woman s voice has
Flotow z “Marta” ■« an opera which many
ever given me so much pleasure as yours, and
as u proof of my admiration deign to accept neople having a reputation for connoiweur
my most precious treasures, these ■»8b,.ln' ship to keep up affect to ile*pi«e an.1 every
gaits, whom you will teach to sing
lbe body listens to with more or lem of pleasure.
nightingales in lls insclvcs were beautiful as It is tlie old story—the omnipotence of tuna
each one was marked with a red cross, but.to -Come Fri"ieniaiin," Bnc. would say to In.
most gifte.1 son. “let us go to Berlin and bear
the prince they were of great-value. At
time of tho Crusades one of bis am-estore was tbe pretty tunw.” It tnust beever so. In
impritouetl and his captivity was bgh.ened the . hanging plienomena of the art the power
of tune is the one thing fixed, ami though
by tbe singing of two nigbtinga es.
cntsadei-s ransom« a. paid: be was released high up in sublimated region, gffted men
.Jy .tevw-new methods, the true wurc. of
and allow*! to take l.is comforter, away
Dower is be who can make melody in the old,
Sinra then tbe rare < f >«l c™«
” Olli fash.on. Flotow wa. a poor niuaician, but
has been in the ^«ion of tbe pntK-e,. fai r
iiv.but there are never more tJ"® J" be hail ttie gift of tune, and his o^ra remain,
imtinet with life wb.l. ~ny
°
existence at u time, and the last
'
Lieber constructive worth lies deed Depend
given to Miss Tbursby. » «« not tbe prtnea ™Ht
the m-xt great nwlodist will d-ipat.
Hgbt to .onsidet these Ms mo-t
." ore of «¡.a, spun theoriesi ami -arry the
tr-asuresl-Baroness Althea Nalvadm m
world with him - Lotdon Telegraph
Kansas City Times.
NO. 114
!
TO THE SPIRIT OF
THE AGE.
(f I were you. in moments of reflection,
Though criticism may lw fair and true,
I\1 not go in too much for .vivisection,
If I were you.
Dear cousiu Canada, you know we like you,
CLAIM JUMPING IN THE PALMY
June and December brighten with your charms,
DAYS OF NEVADA MINING.
Not for the world we’d lift a hand to strike you,
There is no war in our presented arms.
I would not take the flowers of life and tear them
Apart, their inner secrets all to view,
See how we flounder through your snow shoe par liow Matter« Were Carried on During
I’d pluck them gently, reverently wear them.
ties.
tlie LavrleM Period—A Gang of Robbers
If I were you.
Ail breathless down toboggan chutes we slide.
Brought to Term*—A Lucrative In
‘Keatli the soft furs we know how warm your
I'd leave some gossamer of tender fancies
heart is,
dustry.
Iu Life's wide meadow, gemmed along with
For it is always summer by your side.
dew.
“
You
people
in
St.
Louis,
”
said
an
old
’
49er,
Not sweep them all before stern Fact's advances,
And if we love you. sweet, and our fond wishes
“
know
nothing
of
wliat
a
mining
boom
really
If 1 were you.
Fly swift to you like birds of summer hue.
How can you chide us if we love your fishes?
is. Hero tho peoplo are greatly excited if a If I were you I'd leave some twilight hours
Are not your Ashes, cousin, part of you*
mine advances 1(X) percent, in value during a
'Twixt glaring daylight and the night's black
i non Ch or two. but during tho palmy days of
hue,
How can you set for us a throe mile limit?
Sonic
neutral tinted scenes- some shady bowers,
You cannot hope to make us stay away,
Nevada mining such changes were matters of
If 1 were you.
When summer conies, taander like, we'll swim it daily occurrence, and occasioned no excite
From Anticosti to the Saguenay.
ment at all. If a man struck ore anywhere I would not let the oil of toleration—
The sameness of one general “width of view”
Who talks of bait? By all that's trim and tidy,
in a good locality he could sell out for a good
You are the sweetest bait our eyes have found. price within twenty-four hours, and without Subdue the free wave's mutiou to stagnation,
If 1 were you.
Come live with us, dear coz, and every Friday
the long negotiations which are the custom
You shall have tish until your head swims here. But if he determined to retain the I'd not laugh down enthusiasm's fire
round.
As antique aud hlghflown I'd leave some few
property he had to defend it with rifle and
Your ma's so busy with her jubilating.
revolver, as ho could expect no assistance) Sjuirks of a noble rage, a generous ire,
I SB were you.
She'll never wonder where you are, and—ah!
from the officers of the law.
Yonder stands Parson Talmage, smiling, wait
“I was in Pioche during 1871 and 1872, and Aud oh! ami<l the rush for wealth or pleasure.
ing.
And all the hurly burly and to do,
certainly such a lawless community was never
Say, shan't we ask Sir John to “Ask Mania?”
«pen liefoix*. A few days after my arrival in I'd leave some breathing space, some nooks of
— Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
leisure.
that camp 1 witnessed an instance of the way
Some time fur laying up th’ enduriug treasure.
matters were carried on. Two American
The New Time Table hi Canada.
If I were you.
—Temple Bar.
A woman of decidedly national character miners had uncovered a rich vein of silver
istics got off the train last evening, and after and were taking out rich oar by tbe wagon
wandering about the city a short time ac load. One morning, on going to work, they NOT ENCOURAGING TO PEN DRIVERS.
costed a gentleman with, “Will ye he nfthe: found their claim occupied by a dozen foreign
telling me the time av day it is at the present ers, who ivfused to give up possession, and .1«»« Howard Write, of the Inevitable
Poverty of .lournall.tle 1.1 te.
time, misterf” “Eighteen o’clock,” res|M>nded threatened the owners with instant death if
'l'bo rich men in journalism are not tho beat
the man. The old lady raised her eyebrows, they were in any way interfered with. An
puckered her cheeks, cvlindricated her mouth appeal to tbe law was giteted with scornful writers. There are men wlic would have
and taught him, saying: “Mister, 1 am a de laughter, aud th© miners saw themselves shown quit® as brilliantly behind the calico
cent, respectable woman, an’ the wither of about to be deprived of the fruits of their counter, in the button factory or in the
children, barring the four that’s dead and honest toil. When they were about to give wbiskj still. It doesn't make them any less
hurried, an’ I came honest by ’em, for there is up in despair all attOnpts to recover their men lieeause they had the faculty of money
a father to ivery wan av thiiu, an’ when I ax property from the bunds of the lawless rob» I saving, nor am I such an idiot as to assume
you in my own iligant Irish tongue, of which bers, help from an unex{)ected quarter ar- for u moment that because a man in journal
ism or in literary life is rich ho is untitted
1 am coinplate master, faith an’ I want a da rived.
ONE OF THE ARGONAUTS.
for bis calling, but 1 do contend that the men
cent an’ civilized answer to that same. Now,
“Jack Kendrick, a man universally re- who have amassed great fortunes in journal
thin, will you lie aftlier tollin’ me the time av
day?” “Six o’clock,” murmured the aston spected and feared on account of bis upright ism mid i i literary life are tlie pubUahcrs
ished citizen, and he turned his face from her ness and determination, stepjMxl up to them, rather than the editorsand writers. Take tbe
awful presence, gathered himself together and said that if they would give him a one- I Harpers for instance. Wliat better illustra
third interest in the mine he would drive off tion could l>e usketl than that I Not one ot
and departed.—Winnipeg Manitoban.
the robters. These terms were at once agreed tliern writers. They are all rich, but bow
to, and without a moment’s delay Kendrick many of their editors and writers have money
Bombast.
sprang to the mouth of the tunnel and or to the foie t Take tlie case of Conant. Al
A conceited politician, who had a
dered
those within to give up possession at though be was with the Harpers tbe greater
opinion of his powers as an orator, ami
part of bis literary life; although he served
by hisself assertion often forced himself into once. Throwing down their tools and draw
them with intelligent vitality, bringing to
prominence tafore the public, was advertised ing their revolvers, the whole band came their use rare qualities of mind and of lieart
to make an address at the memorial services charging out, with tbe intention of annibi
the man who presumed to interfere and exceptional culture, lie hadn't a dollar
of a man somewhat noted in his district, as a fating
with them.
when he went away, nor has his wife and
politician ami leader of “the boys.” In a
“Kendrick had taken bis measures well. As family to-day save wliat they earn by the
voice as harsh and metallic us two pieces of
soon as he spike he sprang to the top of tbe happy, felicitous combination of brain and
iron clashing together, he opened his address
bank at the mouth of tbe tunnel, and, when hand.
with these words:
The first managing editor of The New
“It is with feelings of the deepest sadness the claim juiupei*s ap|x?ared, ofiened lire on York Times whom I remonilier was Alexan
that 1 arise tospeok of this man, whose joyous I them wifli his Henry rifle. Seven were «hot der C. Wilson. He died in poverty. The
soul was released from his rack tortured body down before they fairly cleared tbe tunnel, managing editor of The New York World
and the remaining live, terrified at the fate
at 2:39 p. ni.,to w ing its flight far, far beyond of their comrades, made for town at top was David G. Croly. He is working to-day,
the trials an’ struggles ’»’ cares
tempta s|>eed, with Rend rick in hot pursuit, and be ns is liis wife, Jennie June—constant, indo-
tions ’n’ sickness ’n’ disease ’a’ tribulations ’n’ fore they found shelter three more fell tafore faligable, never resting are tiiey, working
afflictions of time, to roam along the—the bis deadly rille. This wholesale slaughter to-day ns much as they did thirty years ago,
ether strewn vistas of the unseen land, in the struck terror into the lawless element, and when they began. The writers on The Her
mystic shadow’s of the beautiful beyond.”
about put an end to the high handed outrages ald, can you find me one with money/ Those
•‘Yis, that’s a fact, yis, give it to him!” which had previously been of almost daily on The World, can you find me one with
nuittered a half drunken listener among the occurrence. Kendrick is now one of tbe money/ Tlie writers on The Tinies, Tlie Tri
mourners.—Youth's Companion.
most highly respected citizens of Silver City. bune, Tbe Sun—not one of them witli money
as men in commerce speak of money. Now
N M.
Quite a “Dog.”
A LUCRATIVE PRACTICE.
and then you will find n man who, from Ills
A few years ago there was an ol.l lake cap
“One very lucrative industry was pursued salary of *50 or ?1IK> a week, saves *20 or
tain who was an inveterate reader of the se by a number of alleged miners, which for *30; but how, under heavens, can he think
rial papers. He would become interested in a a year or two yielded them a handsome in that the savings so accumulated could lie
story, and the day when each fresh install come. Whenever these gentry learned that even a pittance in the eye of the world/
And once used up they are done ijitli.
ment reached him was one of joy. At one a trade was alxiut to be consummated, they
A squeezed s/singe is letter than they, lie
time he was wrapped up in a lurid tale en would come forward and set up a claim to
titled “The Doge of Venice.” The last sec the property in question. No one wished cause the sponge may till up again—they
tion of the story came, he finished it, and in to buy n mine and n lawsuit together, and the can't. They are best illustrated by a aqueeaal
the excitement of tlie climax threw the paper seller was obliged to purchase the pretended oiange, for which tliere is no revivication,
Raymond, the brainy editor of The Times.
down anil exclaimed: “Well, that dog is tbe claim in order to complete his sale.
Dashed
dasli daslidest dog I ever read about. “
This was carried On for some time, until >U«I comparatively poor, and bad it not been
’
r tlie shrewdness with which Hie infamies
if ho didn’t talk and act just like a mail.”— the niinersJtetermined to put a stop to it. In
Buffalo Express.
one day several of these bogus claimants were of the Tweed ring were utilized by George
taken out of Virginia City anil hanged, and Jones, the publisher, mid his aaKK'iatea, tbe
the vigilance committee gave notice that any Raymond estate would have |>anned out next
A Verbatim Ke port er.
to nothing. Hoiwe Greeley was proverbially
“Did you tell your mother I was going to one who in future set up a false claim to a unfitted for manipulation in money n(fairs,
have a new bonnet at Easter?” inquired a mine would meet like fate. This stopped all I
and Charles A. Dana is today a rich man_
lady of a neighbor's child w ho was visiting attempts of this nature, and by 1873 the reign
of fraud and violence was aliout at an end. not because lie bad n mercantile lieiul, but lie
her own children.
Since that time tbe mines have Iteen com cause lie had brains enough to utilize oppor
“Yes, ma'am answered the little girl.
paratively quiet, but none who lived there tunities and to utilize good men. He had in
“And what did she say f’
liis business ofliee tlie best business manager
“Ob, she said the fools are not all dead yet,’- during the early days will ever forget the known at tlie time in journalism, a life long
answered the child innocently.—Detroit Free wild lawlessles« that prevailed.”—St. Ixiuis friend, a devoted comrade, and Mr. Dana's
G lobe-Democrat.
Press.
wealth to-day comes to liiin not because be
eanied it as a writer, but because he bad in
The French Giving Up Smoking.
Very Common Here.
The growing virtue of the French in the his staff a man who knew where to place tlie
“There is a church at Bergen, Norway,
constituted of paper.” This is not so remark matter of tobacco smoking bids fair to create good tilings tliat Dana anil his accomplished
able, considering tliat in this country many yet another diffculty in the arduous task of young irien, as lie calls them, pre/iared from
“valuable gold and silver mines” can be found balancing the budget of the republic. It ap day to day. No, indeed; as a rule, when you
pears that the tax on this pleasant vice pro find the man at (lie head of the pa|ier rich,
only on paper.—Norristown Herald.
duced last year 6,(MD.<MK1 francs less than in you will find liim not a writer.
Charles A. Dana is the one exception. Mr.
the year 1885. The theory has lieen broached
Worse and Worse.
that as men get on in life they smoke less, for Bennett never dreams of writing. Why
Doctor—You have hail a had case of dys
the reason that they gradually become so should he!—Joe Howard’s Ix'tter.
pepsia. Have you ever worked in a railway
saturated with nicotine tliat they cannot hold
eating house*
The Power of Concentration.
any more. This would not, however, explain
Patient—No, sir; I am janitor in a cooking the diminution, seeing that the place of old
I lielie vs tta men who rule the world are
school.—Detroit Free Pre««.
men is taken up by the rising generation. those who have got the ¡x»wer of <*on<<en-
So the theory is pushed still further, and it is tration. That is not to decry tbe power of
Where He Bought nim.
argued that, as the process of ataorptk n of word painting. When you wish the |x*ople
Fogg—What did you pay for that borae »
nicotine goes on from generation to genera to see a truth you rmut not sparo tlie coloring.
Dumley—Two hundred dollars.
tion, the sons of smokers are not able to con Iteration ami reiteration are the only ways
Fogg—Two hundred dollars! You must sume so intmta tobacco as the children of non of getting u tall through tbe steel plated
have bought him at a church fair.—Detroit smokers Oddly enough, the diminution of brains of bigots. Hit a spot once, they are
Free Press.
consumption is only in smoking tolxicco, mad; twice they shiver and stagger; three
while as much snuff is sold as formerly. Tho times, they are terrille I ami say if be bite
An Annual Wall.
enormous sum of 80,000,600 francs is annually there again he’ll ta through, sure; four times,
Now boil« the gap, and far Vermont
spent in snuff. Where the snuff takers livo and you |x*netrate. But tbe tall must ta
Rejoice« at the ceaseless font
is an enigma. In Paris, at all events, the habit, concentrated and solid.
In maples' trunks.
Tho power and influence of tlie newspaper
if one may judge from one's own experience,
But gr<»cers tap molasses lcegs.
«
And iu »lark cellars boil the dregs
has been of neceFsity to teach concentration.
is unknown.—-London T elegraph.
4
£
With la*t year’s hunks.
Nearly its w hole make up is itemized. One
—New Haven News
/
murder, ten lines; a |>oliticai spew h of three
Dinner« In Large Cities.
hours, foureen lines; the doings of eonp'rpMi
Dinners
in
New
York,
Li
Ixmdon,
in
Wash
Kwite Fonetlc.
for a whole day, half a column; railroad
ington,
in
Philadel|*l>ia,
in
perhapn
all
largo
farmer once calle,! bis cow “Zephyr,
A_____
. . ”
affairs for tlie whole United Stab's, itemized
cities, are conducted on debt paying prin in two columns; editorials short and pithy
She seemed such an amiable hepbyr.
ciples, ami therefore they grow very dull. and pungent. Everything must ta so ar
When the farmer drew near.
She kicked off his ear.
Not that people desire indecorous pleasure, ranged that you can read at a glance.
And now the old farmer s much dephyr.
tat they get liorcd to d«*atb by giktal and
This is no trifling matter, dear reader, and
— Dry Gouda < hrooicie.
overburdened splendor. Ahmet all bard
you know it right well. IJfe is short. T here
working men in America are dyspeptic! ami
aru 00,000 English words, not counting 10,(MM)
Minor Caniixlt ir«.
only look at Jbeir bands during the three or
•lang words. Tbe |MMnilde permutations ami
Jay Gould says his money ha« enslaved four Inst <*ourses. Two people are brought combinations of all th«**) is incomputable.
him Wa’vegot sn emancipation proclama together, perhaps, wta have never met lie-
tion lie <«'i have for a iiaiMderatKxi. — Wall fore. They have positively no subject in No author, speaker or writer should under
take to handle words except juat enough to
ington Urit»«’
common. To relieve this awkward moment,
Dunilev iregKtering in hotel) —I mappow I to raise the «lull, deprewring cloud which set express an exact idea.—Otobe-Democrat.
can f Hit up tare for » day)
tles over tlx? jaded senses, wliat ixdter tliat an
«dike caio boW you let any machine oil or
Clerk -Ob. yew. «r. Any taggage, Mr— ingenious dinner card, with a quotation from
lubricator come in contact with a cut or
er—Du m ley l
Shakespeare or a few line« of original poetry I ■cratch on your hand or arm. as serious blood
Dumley—No.
(• |erk—Then yon may put up |4 for a day. Hers at least is an opening wedge, a text, a poisofiing may result. In the manufacture
beginning, a subject of common interest. It
— New York Hun.
of SMBS of these machine oils fat from dis
A Boston 8-vear-oM was drawing pictures is worth a world to on anxious boetem. To eased and decomposed animal« is imc <|. All
see
her
gu»*sta
thus
amuneil,
introduced,
snd
at nrbooi tbe other «lay. aixl drew a pig.
physician« know bow pohonou« ¡.ne b matter
After tbe work of art was nxnpietxd to Ins put at their ease at once U worth mu' b is. Tho only safeguard >« not to let any «pot
•atL«faction tbe yonngMer wrote l*i»eatb it; money — Mrs. J«»bn Starwood in New York where tlx «kin 1« broken 1« touched by any
“Tb» is a domestic animal; lie K called a pig tV of Id
inucbinc oil ar lubrkator.—Power
tie«-au*e be H ■'eltHb **— Nt w York Sun
WHAT LIEUT. SCHEUTZE SAYS OF
THE LENA DELTA COUNTRY.
How the Yakuts Manage to Keep Warm
in Northwestern Siberia.—Huts un<l
Their Filthiness—Food and Clothing.
Fating Butter.
Lieut. \V. II. Scheutzc, of the navy, who
was sent to the Ix*na deltai.i northwestern
Sitarla to deliver to the natives gifts from
the government of the United States to repay
them for the aid they rendered him in his
search for tho mtaing members of the Jean-
nette party, says in his report that the town
of X’erovusk, Sitaria, is the coldest in habite» I
s|x>t in the world. Tbe thermometer stood at
eighty-six talow zero when he was there, and
he says it seldom goes above fifty talow. I
asked him the other dnv what the peoplo did
who lived at this blissful spot; what iLty hud
to cut and how they liked it.
“Why.” he replied, “they think ilia a pretty
good sort of rlimatv. ‘Home, Kweot Home,’
is the song nil the world over, and if the Vcr-
ovuskers should come ht-re they would won
dor what ¡xmple did where it is so infernally
hot. They would smother in this climate,
and pine for a stiff northwesterly arctic gale.
It is wonderful the lunoui t ot cold human
flesh can endure. The natives of Terru del
Fuego go stark naked the year round, and in
their country it freeses every night. It is
mu-h colder in the IxMia delta, yet the |»eo-
plo manage to keep comfortable, anil more
die of smallpox and scurvy than from tho
effects of the intense cohl. You seldom bear
of any one freeing to death, and then it is
tliosi' only who expose themselves impru
dently who die in that way. More |)eopie
are frozen to death in the Lnited Htate-s than
in Hitaría.
HOW TO KEEP WARM.
“But how do they manage to keep warm!”
“Well, in the first plací* the Yakuts are an
enduring race and uro born in that climate.
Then they dress in furs, and have learned
from their ancestor.’, or from their own ex
perience, how to keep warm. Their houses
are built of logs, smeared over on the outside
and inside with inanrtv and mud. In each
cabin is a largo fireplace, which is uses I lor
both heating and cooking. There is seLloni
more than one room in these cabins, aud
usually the owner's cattle, if ho lias any, oc
cupy one end ot the room in which he lives,
being tied, or prevented from trampling on
tho lubies by a fair. The houm* aro com
•u-only very comfortable, but are awfully
Jrty, and smell-there is no word to describo
r*. Otten, until I got used to it, I would
rather lio down in tho snow outside, with tho
thermometer fifty talow zero, than sleep in
one of these huts. But you’ve no idea what
a man can stand when ho has to.”
“Have they windows in their houses?”
“Yes; ice windows. They use ice as wo uso
glass. A clear piece is selected, about five or
six incbcM thick, morticed in tho window
opening in block» two feet, and sometimes as
largo as four feet square, anil with water is
made solid. Tbe water is as good as putty.
When tho window liecomes dirty they scrape
it off with a knife, mid when it has been
scra|x«l thin they substituto a new oane.”
“Doesn’t the window eWT melt?” ’
“Bless you, no; it is indexing cold that far
from the fire, if the room ever gpt warm
enough to melt tho ice tbo Yakut couldn’t
I •i vo in it, and would have to go out doom to
cuoi off. At night the firo is allowed to go
out, ns they have to economize in fuel. All
they have is drift wood, gathered on the banks
of tbe Lona river in the summer time.”
“IIow do they shs*pf Do they undress when
they go to bed?”
“Always. They strip to their shirts, which
are made of a thick sort of Russian cloth os
heavy ns our canvas. Tho men and women
wear the same kind of garments, and never
hnvo more than one at a time, i took up a
lot of thick flannel for them, enough to last
the ivst of their lives, and it will ta a great
deal more comfortable than tbe native stuff,
although they don’t like it at first. When
they* undress thi y get into bunks built in the
side of the house—«ometimes a man, his
wife and nil liie children in the same bunk,
They have reindeer skins under and over
them, and curteins of the same banging be
fore the bunks. ’I’ho last man or woman U»
undress hangs all the clothing of the rest
out doors over a |>ole that is kept for tbe
purpose.”
GETTING RID OF VERMIN.
“What is that fir I”
“T< freeze the lice. They couldn’t live if
they didn’t do it, and it has ta’omea national
custom. The lice get into tho fur and that
is the only way to get them out. By hang
ing their clothes over the pole every night
they can keep reasonably freo from them, but
the fur fills up again the next day.”
“Do they ever tathef’
“Never in their lives; they haven’t any
word for bathing in their language, and tbe
impowibillty of keeping < lrn:> Is one of the
greatest hardships of Arctic life.”
“What do they eatf”
“Reindeer meat, lieef—they have cows,
queer looking unimul«, ubout liulf us large us
ours, with a liuininock on ttair Lacks like a
camel —fish, bread made of bhvk rye flour,
tea, anil impoi’ted food made of <*hop|M*d beef
rolled into balls afaiut the size of u marble,
and covered with n dough. These they pound
up and make into soup. Then there is a wood
that fa very nutritious when it fa ground up
and boiled. Mixed with reindeer meat it
makes a good soup. Th<*y often mt their fish
raw. Of cou**sc they frwze solid on soon
as they arc taken out of the water, and
the native, |»ui*ti<*iilarly if he is on the
road, cuts them off in shavings us thin us our
chipped fa«f and eats them raw. They uro
palatable, and 1 have lived for days nt a time
o< them, with u cup of tea made over an al
cohol farnp by way of variety. Tho greatest
luxury they have fa butter, and they will cat
it by th«- poand as our piople ent confection
ery. A ¡»nor ->rt. of butler is made from the
milk of tlu» nativo cow, that looks and tastes
more like cheese, and they prizo it ulmve all
other elms»*« of food.”
“Tlie nmouet of batter a native will eat
wheu lie • an get it,” <smtinued Lieut.
Hcheutz'-, “fa nstonfalling. A friend of mino
in Hitaria told me of a man who ate thirty-
six pound« in on« day, and then didn't get ail
he wanted. They have u way of ixsindirig
up n ii«I fai ry and mixing it v. ith butter,
which giver it n brailtilul pink tint ami im
proves the flavor. Ttair drink i< the Rumian
vodka, almost puro alcohol, and they will
trade ttair nhírts for iL Tho liquor is scufce
und expenshe. so they ore neccftcirily n tem-
{>eiat<j puo| i<. - Pen y Drummond in < bicugo