r- TELEPHONE f VOL. II. MCMINNVILLE, OREGON, JULY 15, 1887 WEST SIDE 'TELEPHONE. = ¡ Y I ---- Issued---- THE CARICATURISTS. THE PERSONAL PECULIARITIES AN INTERCEPTED VALENTINE." With Acknowledgments ta Dr. Talmage. OF SOME SAD FUNNY MEN. Thumbnail Sketch« of Nast and Kep- Talninge A ■ ’■. Heath Pier, Taylor, Opper, Kemble and Oth.r^Th. Work The, Have Done. Curieaturlng |n America. Publishers and Proprietors. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: At tlie Salmngundi dinner the other night, One year......................................................... 00 Hix months............................................ 1 25 amid sixty of tho jolhest souls imaginable, Three months............................................... 7J wio was far more sprightly and vivacious an all the rest. It might not surprise every Kntered in the Post office at McMinnville. Or «lie to hear that this was E. W. Kemble, of as second-class matter. 1 ho Century, one of tho humorous artists of the day. But to one who knows tho dumb A SonorouH Voice. Two men wearing sombreros and long hair humorists of tho times—the men who make sat opposite each other at n table in a Calhoun fun m silence with ttair pencils—it was ex­ place restaurant. The taller of the two was traordinary. Humorists are proverbially discussing the |ss;uliaritms of a dear frjen<] men of pathetic face and sober mien, but of all tho almost owlish gravity I ever knew who hail slier! somewhere iu the state of among men these pencil humorists have the Sonora. most. Take Nast and Keppler, She satirists, “He wnrn’t much blgger’n a toad," he said for instance. It is said that Keppler is es­ ordering a fresh round of drinks, “but lordy’ teemed as a very bright talker in the Ger­ liow lie could yell. Never Leered him eh man colony, but neither he nor Nast fa funny Jack/ Then you don’t know what you’ve or in any degree lively in English. Both are uussssl. He war u hundred times better’ll the about 50, and faith have made fortunes and Piute at a yelp, un’ as sure iu I’m a-sittiu’ are taking things easy. Nast fa a dressy, al­ here he could outhowl nil the wolves you ever most natty, little man, with a face almost seen on tbe Cimaron. ’Twar a pecul’ar yelp exactly like the pictures he makes of himself. this yelp of Ben’s. Beginniu’ with a sigh as He fa wrapped up in domestic joys at his sclt as tho breeze that sweeps o’er Ingin country home in Morristown. Some of us buryin’ grounds on moonlite nites, it would got him on his feet at a dinner in Montreal «lowly grow lousier un’ louder until it sounded tlie other day, but he had nothing to say. just us the wind does when she gets er W hen he talks at all, which fa in private, he areechin’through lz«st Stake canyon. But Ben does so extremely sensibly. never stop|>e an American Singer. the witty dialogue writer of The Hun and The l-'reiis-b peoplo think that Miss Tbursby Puck. Her help explains both the quality | sbottisi east aside her pirjusiices and sing in and quantity of this wonderful worker's pro o|«?ra. Her success with tho most difficult ductions. Caricaturing in America has made enor- I ssperatic musis* at concerts given here in 1883 was almost without n parallel, hsit the singer mous strides during the ynst ten years. What herself expresses not tho least desire to be­ artists rail “comics” have appeared in our il- come on oiieratic star. American papers have lustrat«l papers for many years past, but no given accounts of her reception in all the great genius has come to the front Nast and musical cities of Europe, of tho gold and Keppler are both Germans, but no American jewels showered upon her, but 1 sio not think has specially distinguished himself in this art any more than in painting. Europe, it is that America bus bearsi of one royal gift. Once she sung at Diagne to an audience of humiliating to confess it, is ahead of us in piinces. Tho enthusiasm was great. All this respect. America lias not yet produced ■ ompliliientesl her, with the exception of one aGilrav. a Hogarth,aCniikshank, a Browne prifce, whose name. |ierhaps, was tlie most or even a Du Maurier. We shall improve with age, and our rising humorous artists are s-elebrated lie said not a word. The next slay this silent lover of music a very promising lot—Julian Ralph in New sailed upon the singer, carrying with him I York Mail and Express. two nightingales. His presentation speech Th. Ml|/h»y Mn.lcal Truth. was moat exquisite: “No woman s voice has Flotow z “Marta” ■« an opera which many ever given me so much pleasure as yours, and as u proof of my admiration deign to accept neople having a reputation for connoiweur my most precious treasures, these ■»8b,.ln' ship to keep up affect to ile*pi«e an.1 every­ gaits, whom you will teach to sing lbe body listens to with more or lem of pleasure. nightingales in lls insclvcs were beautiful as It is tlie old story—the omnipotence of tuna each one was marked with a red cross, but.to -Come Fri"ieniaiin," Bnc. would say to In. most gifte.1 son. “let us go to Berlin and bear the prince they were of great-value. At time of tho Crusades one of bis am-estore was tbe pretty tunw.” It tnust beever so. In impritouetl and his captivity was bgh.ened the . hanging plienomena of the art the power of tune is the one thing fixed, ami though by tbe singing of two nigbtinga es. cntsadei-s ransom« a. paid: be was released high up in sublimated region, gffted men .Jy .tevw-new methods, the true wurc. of and allow*! to take l.is comforter, away Dower is be who can make melody in the old, Sinra then tbe rare < f >«l c™« ” Olli fash.on. Flotow wa. a poor niuaician, but has been in the ^«ion of tbe pntK-e,. fai r iiv.but there are never more tJ"® J" be hail ttie gift of tune, and his o^ra remain, imtinet with life wb.l. ~ny ° existence at u time, and the last ' Lieber constructive worth lies deed Depend given to Miss Tbursby. » «« not tbe prtnea ™Ht the m-xt great nwlodist will d-ipat. Hgbt to .onsidet these Ms mo-t ." ore of «¡.a, spun theoriesi ami -arry the tr-asuresl-Baroness Althea Nalvadm m world with him - Lotdon Telegraph Kansas City Times. NO. 114 ! TO THE SPIRIT OF THE AGE. (f I were you. in moments of reflection, Though criticism may lw fair and true, I\1 not go in too much for .vivisection, If I were you. Dear cousiu Canada, you know we like you, CLAIM JUMPING IN THE PALMY June and December brighten with your charms, DAYS OF NEVADA MINING. Not for the world we’d lift a hand to strike you, There is no war in our presented arms. I would not take the flowers of life and tear them Apart, their inner secrets all to view, See how we flounder through your snow shoe par liow Matter« Were Carried on During I’d pluck them gently, reverently wear them. ties. tlie LavrleM Period—A Gang of Robbers If I were you. Ail breathless down toboggan chutes we slide. Brought to Term*—A Lucrative In­ ‘Keatli the soft furs we know how warm your I'd leave some gossamer of tender fancies heart is, dustry. Iu Life's wide meadow, gemmed along with For it is always summer by your side. dew. “ You people in St. Louis, ” said an old ’ 49er, Not sweep them all before stern Fact's advances, And if we love you. sweet, and our fond wishes “ know nothing of wliat a mining boom really If 1 were you. Fly swift to you like birds of summer hue. How can you chide us if we love your fishes? is. Hero tho peoplo are greatly excited if a If I were you I'd leave some twilight hours Are not your Ashes, cousin, part of you* mine advances 1(X) percent, in value during a 'Twixt glaring daylight and the night's black i non Ch or two. but during tho palmy days of hue, How can you set for us a throe mile limit? Sonic neutral tinted scenes- some shady bowers, You cannot hope to make us stay away, Nevada mining such changes were matters of If 1 were you. When summer conies, taander like, we'll swim it daily occurrence, and occasioned no excite­ From Anticosti to the Saguenay. ment at all. If a man struck ore anywhere I would not let the oil of toleration— The sameness of one general “width of view” Who talks of bait? By all that's trim and tidy, in a good locality he could sell out for a good You are the sweetest bait our eyes have found. price within twenty-four hours, and without Subdue the free wave's mutiou to stagnation, If 1 were you. Come live with us, dear coz, and every Friday the long negotiations which are the custom You shall have tish until your head swims here. But if he determined to retain the I'd not laugh down enthusiasm's fire round. As antique aud hlghflown I'd leave some few property he had to defend it with rifle and Your ma's so busy with her jubilating. revolver, as ho could expect no assistance) Sjuirks of a noble rage, a generous ire, I SB were you. She'll never wonder where you are, and—ah! from the officers of the law. Yonder stands Parson Talmage, smiling, wait “I was in Pioche during 1871 and 1872, and Aud oh! aminded threatened the owners with instant death if 'l'bo rich men in journalism are not tho beat the man. The old lady raised her eyebrows, they were in any way interfered with. An puckered her cheeks, cvlindricated her mouth appeal to tbe law was giteted with scornful writers. There are men wlic would have and taught him, saying: “Mister, 1 am a de­ laughter, aud th© miners saw themselves shown quit® as brilliantly behind the calico cent, respectable woman, an’ the wither of about to be deprived of the fruits of their counter, in the button factory or in the children, barring the four that’s dead and honest toil. When they were about to give wbiskj still. It doesn't make them any less hurried, an’ I came honest by ’em, for there is up in despair all attOnpts to recover their men lieeause they had the faculty of money a father to ivery wan av thiiu, an’ when I ax property from the bunds of the lawless rob» I saving, nor am I such an idiot as to assume you in my own iligant Irish tongue, of which bers, help from an unex{)ected quarter ar- for u moment that because a man in journal ism or in literary life is rich ho is untitted 1 am coinplate master, faith an’ I want a da rived. ONE OF THE ARGONAUTS. for bis calling, but 1 do contend that the men cent an’ civilized answer to that same. Now, “Jack Kendrick, a man universally re- who have amassed great fortunes in journal­ thin, will you lie aftlier tollin’ me the time av day?” “Six o’clock,” murmured the aston­ spected and feared on account of bis upright­ ism mid i i literary life are tlie pubUahcrs ished citizen, and he turned his face from her ness and determination, stepjMxl up to them, rather than the editorsand writers. Take tbe awful presence, gathered himself together and said that if they would give him a one- I Harpers for instance. Wliat better illustra­ third interest in the mine he would drive off tion could l>e usketl than that I Not one ot and departed.—Winnipeg Manitoban. the robters. These terms were at once agreed tliern writers. They are all rich, but bow to, and without a moment’s delay Kendrick many of their editors and writers have money Bombast. sprang to the mouth of the tunnel and or­ to the foie t Take tlie case of Conant. Al­ A conceited politician, who had a dered those within to give up possession at though be was with the Harpers tbe greater opinion of his powers as an orator, ami part of bis literary life; although he served by hisself assertion often forced himself into once. Throwing down their tools and draw­ them with intelligent vitality, bringing to prominence tafore the public, was advertised ing their revolvers, the whole band came their use rare qualities of mind and of lieart to make an address at the memorial services charging out, with tbe intention of annibi the man who presumed to interfere and exceptional culture, lie hadn't a dollar of a man somewhat noted in his district, as a fating with them. when he went away, nor has his wife and politician ami leader of “the boys.” In a “Kendrick had taken bis measures well. As family to-day save wliat they earn by the voice as harsh and metallic us two pieces of soon as he spike he sprang to the top of tbe happy, felicitous combination of brain and iron clashing together, he opened his address bank at the mouth of tbe tunnel, and, when hand. with these words: The first managing editor of The New “It is with feelings of the deepest sadness the claim juiupei*s ap|x?ared, ofiened lire on York Times whom I remonilier was Alexan­ that 1 arise tospeok of this man, whose joyous I them wifli his Henry rifle. Seven were «hot der C. Wilson. He died in poverty. The soul was released from his rack tortured body down before they fairly cleared tbe tunnel, managing editor of The New York World and the remaining live, terrified at the fate at 2:39 p. ni.,to w ing its flight far, far beyond of their comrades, made for town at top was David G. Croly. He is working to-day, the trials an’ struggles ’»’ cares tempta­ s|>eed, with Rend rick in hot pursuit, and be­ ns is liis wife, Jennie June—constant, indo- tions ’n’ sickness ’n’ disease ’a’ tribulations ’n’ fore they found shelter three more fell tafore faligable, never resting are tiiey, working afflictions of time, to roam along the—the bis deadly rille. This wholesale slaughter to-day ns much as they did thirty years ago, ether strewn vistas of the unseen land, in the struck terror into the lawless element, and when they began. The writers on The Her­ mystic shadow’s of the beautiful beyond.” about put an end to the high handed outrages ald, can you find me one with money/ Those •‘Yis, that’s a fact, yis, give it to him!” which had previously been of almost daily on The World, can you find me one with nuittered a half drunken listener among the occurrence. Kendrick is now one of tbe money/ Tlie writers on The Tinies, Tlie Tri­ mourners.—Youth's Companion. most highly respected citizens of Silver City. bune, Tbe Sun—not one of them witli money as men in commerce speak of money. Now N M. Quite a “Dog.” A LUCRATIVE PRACTICE. and then you will find n man who, from Ills A few years ago there was an ol.l lake cap­ “One very lucrative industry was pursued salary of *50 or ?1IK> a week, saves *20 or tain who was an inveterate reader of the se­ by a number of alleged miners, which for *30; but how, under heavens, can he think rial papers. He would become interested in a a year or two yielded them a handsome in­ that the savings so accumulated could lie story, and the day when each fresh install­ come. Whenever these gentry learned that even a pittance in the eye of the world/ And once used up they are done ijitli. ment reached him was one of joy. At one a trade was alxiut to be consummated, they A squeezed s/singe is letter than they, lie­ time he was wrapped up in a lurid tale en­ would come forward and set up a claim to titled “The Doge of Venice.” The last sec­ the property in question. No one wished cause the sponge may till up again—they tion of the story came, he finished it, and in to buy n mine and n lawsuit together, and the can't. They are best illustrated by a aqueeaal the excitement of tlie climax threw the paper seller was obliged to purchase the pretended oiange, for which tliere is no revivication, Raymond, the brainy editor of The Times. down anil exclaimed: “Well, that dog is tbe claim in order to complete his sale. Dashed dasli daslidest dog I ever read about. “ This was carried On for some time, until >U«I comparatively poor, and bad it not been ’ r tlie shrewdness with which Hie infamies if ho didn’t talk and act just like a mail.”— the niinersJtetermined to put a stop to it. In Buffalo Express. one day several of these bogus claimants were of the Tweed ring were utilized by George taken out of Virginia City anil hanged, and Jones, the publisher, mid his aaKK'iatea, tbe the vigilance committee gave notice that any Raymond estate would have |>anned out next A Verbatim Ke port er. to nothing. Hoiwe Greeley was proverbially “Did you tell your mother I was going to one who in future set up a false claim to a unfitted for manipulation in money n(fairs, have a new bonnet at Easter?” inquired a mine would meet like fate. This stopped all I and Charles A. Dana is today a rich man_ lady of a neighbor's child w ho was visiting attempts of this nature, and by 1873 the reign of fraud and violence was aliout at an end. not because lie bad n mercantile lieiul, but lie­ her own children. Since that time tbe mines have Iteen com­ cause lie had brains enough to utilize oppor­ “Yes, ma'am answered the little girl. paratively quiet, but none who lived there tunities and to utilize good men. He had in “And what did she say f’ liis business ofliee tlie best business manager “Ob, she said the fools are not all dead yet,’- during the early days will ever forget the known at tlie time in journalism, a life long answered the child innocently.—Detroit Free wild lawlessles« that prevailed.”—St. Ixiuis friend, a devoted comrade, and Mr. Dana's G lobe-Democrat. Press. wealth to-day comes to liiin not because be eanied it as a writer, but because he bad in The French Giving Up Smoking. Very Common Here. The growing virtue of the French in the his staff a man who knew where to place tlie “There is a church at Bergen, Norway, constituted of paper.” This is not so remark­ matter of tobacco smoking bids fair to create good tilings tliat Dana anil his accomplished able, considering tliat in this country many yet another diffculty in the arduous task of young irien, as lie calls them, pre/iared from “valuable gold and silver mines” can be found balancing the budget of the republic. It ap­ day to day. No, indeed; as a rule, when you pears that the tax on this pleasant vice pro­ find the man at (lie head of the pa|ier rich, only on paper.—Norristown Herald. duced last year 6,(MD.oliticai spew h of three Dinner« In Large Cities. hours, foureen lines; the doings of eonp'rpMi Dinners in New York, Li Ixmdon, in Wash Kwite Fonetlc. for a whole day, half a column; railroad ington, in Philadel|*l>ia, in perhapn all largo farmer once calle,! bis cow “Zephyr, A_____ . . ” affairs for tlie whole United Stab's, itemized cities, are conducted on debt paying prin­ in two columns; editorials short and pithy She seemed such an amiable hepbyr. ciples, ami therefore they grow very dull. and pungent. Everything must ta so ar­ When the farmer drew near. She kicked off his ear. Not that people desire indecorous pleasure, ranged that you can read at a glance. And now the old farmer s much dephyr. tat they get liorcd to d«*atb by giktal and This is no trifling matter, dear reader, and — Dry Gouda < hrooicie. overburdened splendor. Ahmet all bard you know it right well. IJfe is short. T here working men in America are dyspeptic! ami aru 00,000 English words, not counting 10,(MM) Minor Caniixlt ir«. only look at Jbeir bands during the three or •lang words. Tbe |MMnilde permutations ami Jay Gould says his money ha« enslaved four Inst <*ourses. Two people are brought combinations of all th«**) is incomputable. him Wa’vegot sn emancipation proclama­ together, perhaps, wta have never met lie- tion lie <«'i have for a iiaiMderatKxi. — Wall­ fore. They have positively no subject in No author, speaker or writer should under­ take to handle words except juat enough to ington Urit»«’ common. To relieve this awkward moment, Dunilev iregKtering in hotel) —I mappow I to raise the «lull, deprewring cloud which set­ express an exact idea.—Otobe-Democrat. can f Hit up tare for » day) tles over tlx? jaded senses, wliat ixdter tliat an «dike caio boW you let any machine oil or Clerk -Ob. yew. «r. Any taggage, Mr— ingenious dinner card, with a quotation from lubricator come in contact with a cut or er—Du m ley l Shakespeare or a few line« of original poetry I ■cratch on your hand or arm. as serious blood Dumley—No. (• |erk—Then yon may put up |4 for a day. Hers at least is an opening wedge, a text, a poisofiing may result. In the manufacture beginning, a subject of common interest. It — New York Hun. of SMBS of these machine oils fat from dis­ A Boston 8-vear-oM was drawing pictures is worth a world to on anxious boetem. To eased and decomposed animal« is imc <|. All see her gu»*sta thus amuneil, introduced, snd at nrbooi tbe other «lay. aixl drew a pig. physician« know bow pohonou« ¡.ne b matter After tbe work of art was nxnpietxd to Ins put at their ease at once U worth mu' b is. Tho only safeguard >« not to let any «pot •atL«faction tbe yonngMer wrote l*i»eatb it; money — Mrs. J«»bn Starwood in New York where tlx «kin 1« broken 1« touched by any “Tb» is a domestic animal; lie K called a pig tV of Id inucbinc oil ar lubrkator.—Power tie«-au*e be H ■'eltHb **— Nt w York Sun WHAT LIEUT. SCHEUTZE SAYS OF THE LENA DELTA COUNTRY. How the Yakuts Manage to Keep Warm in Northwestern Siberia.—Huts unt in the world. Tbe thermometer stood at eighty-six talow zero when he was there, and he says it seldom goes above fifty talow. I asked him the other dnv what the peoplo did who lived at this blissful spot; what iLty hud to cut and how they liked it. “Why.” he replied, “they think ilia a pretty good sort of rlimatv. ‘Home, Kweot Home,’ is the song nil the world over, and if the Vcr- ovuskers should come ht-re they would won dor what ¡xmple did where it is so infernally hot. They would smother in this climate, and pine for a stiff northwesterly arctic gale. It is wonderful the lunoui t ot cold human flesh can endure. The natives of Terru del Fuego go stark naked the year round, and in their country it freeses every night. It is mu-h colder in the IxMia delta, yet the |»eo- plo manage to keep comfortable, anil more die of smallpox and scurvy than from tho effects of the intense cohl. You seldom bear of any one freeing to death, and then it is tliosi' only who expose themselves impru­ dently who die in that way. More |)eopie are frozen to death in the Lnited Htate-s than in Hitaría. HOW TO KEEP WARM. “But how do they manage to keep warm!” “Well, in the first plací* the Yakuts are an enduring race and uro born in that climate. Then they dress in furs, and have learned from their ancestor.’, or from their own ex­ perience, how to keep warm. Their houses are built of logs, smeared over on the outside and inside with inanrtv and mud. In each cabin is a largo fireplace, which is uses I lor both heating and cooking. There is seLloni more than one room in these cabins, aud usually the owner's cattle, if ho lias any, oc­ cupy one end ot the room in which he lives, being tied, or prevented from trampling on tho lubies by a fair. The houm* aro com •u-only very comfortable, but are awfully Jrty, and smell-there is no word to describo r*. Otten, until I got used to it, I would rather lio down in tho snow outside, with tho thermometer fifty talow zero, than sleep in one of these huts. But you’ve no idea what a man can stand when ho has to.” “Have they windows in their houses?” “Yes; ice windows. They use ice as wo uso glass. A clear piece is selected, about five or six incbcM thick, morticed in tho window opening in block» two feet, and sometimes as largo as four feet square, anil with water is made solid. Tbe water is as good as putty. When tho window liecomes dirty they scrape it off with a knife, mid when it has been scra|x«l thin they substituto a new oane.” “Doesn’t the window eWT melt?” ’ “Bless you, no; it is indexing cold that far from the fire, if the room ever gpt warm enough to melt tho ice tbo Yakut couldn’t I •i vo in it, and would have to go out doom to cuoi off. At night the firo is allowed to go out, ns they have to economize in fuel. All they have is drift wood, gathered on the banks of tbe Lona river in the summer time.” “IIow do they shs*pf Do they undress when they go to bed?” “Always. They strip to their shirts, which are made of a thick sort of Russian cloth os heavy ns our canvas. Tho men and women wear the same kind of garments, and never hnvo more than one at a time, i took up a lot of thick flannel for them, enough to last the ivst of their lives, and it will ta a great deal more comfortable than tbe native stuff, although they don’t like it at first. When they* undress thi y get into bunks built in the side of the house—«ometimes a man, his wife and nil liie children in the same bunk, They have reindeer skins under and over them, and curteins of the same banging be fore the bunks. ’I’ho last man or woman U» undress hangs all the clothing of the rest out doors over a |>ole that is kept for tbe purpose.” GETTING RID OF VERMIN. “What is that fir I” “T< freeze the lice. They couldn’t live if they didn’t do it, and it has ta’omea national custom. The lice get into tho fur and that is the only way to get them out. By hang­ ing their clothes over the pole every night they can keep reasonably freo from them, but the fur fills up again the next day.” “Do they ever tathef’ “Never in their lives; they haven’t any word for bathing in their language, and tbe impowibillty of keeping < lrn:> Is one of the greatest hardships of Arctic life.” “What do they eatf” “Reindeer meat, lieef—they have cows, queer looking unimul«, ubout liulf us large us ours, with a liuininock on ttair Lacks like a camel —fish, bread made of bhvk rye flour, tea, anil impoi’ted food made of <*hop|M*d beef rolled into balls afaiut the size of u marble, and covered with n dough. These they pound up and make into soup. Then there is a wood that fa very nutritious when it fa ground up and boiled. Mixed with reindeer meat it makes a good soup. Th<*y often mt their fish raw. Of cou**sc they frwze solid on soon as they arc taken out of the water, and the native, |»ui*ti<*iilarly if he is on the road, cuts them off in shavings us thin us our chipped fa«f and eats them raw. They uro palatable, and 1 have lived for days nt a time o< them, with u cup of tea made over an al­ cohol farnp by way of variety. Tho greatest luxury they have fa butter, and they will cat it by th«- poand as our piople ent confection­ ery. A ¡»nor ->rt. of butler is made from the milk of tlu» nativo cow, that looks and tastes more like cheese, and they prizo it ulmve all other elms»*« of food.” “Tlie nmouet of batter a native will eat wheu lie • an get it,” eiat