VOL. II
MCMINNVILLE
WEST SIDE'TELEPHONE.'
-—Issued----
EVERY TUESDAY AN!) FRIDAY
-IM-
Garrison's Building. McMissville, Oregon,
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TUI’. OCEAN STEAMSHIP.
HOW
THE PASSENGERS ARE PRO-
VISIONED AND PROVIDED FOR.
The
’l'alniíiH«- A:
I lettili
Publishers a ad Proprietors.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
One year....................................................... 00 I
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Entered in the Postoltiee at McMinnville. Or.
as second-class matter.
'
Cooki
Kept Itusy, “Blow High,
Blow Low'*—The Amount of Provi»-
ions. Groceries, Eh*., Brought uu
Board — Drillkubles anti Crockery.
Basingers inhale with tho sea air an ex-
cess ol ( iithusiusin. nuti ure ready to liecoiii*
excited on the smallest provocation. Is it u
passiug vessel. Or a spouting whale! <Jr a
towering iceberg! It forms for tho nonce an
**U “bsorbiug topic of interest and eager
speculation. But, even to those who cannot
HUMAN LOVE.
be termed epicures, the chief concern and
uppermost thought of each day is uudoubt-
There fa & story told
euly “what shall we eat and what shall we
lu eastern lent ;, when uiitumn nights grow cold, driifk?’ I he fresh breezes create hearty ap
Ami round the lire th<* .Mongol sh. pberdsait,
petites, an I with numbers of people the time
With grave responses listening uulu it:
is agreeably spent in tho enjoyment of one
Owv, ou the ••rruiid.s of his mercy beat,
meal or in the anticipation of th«* liejtt. No
Buddha, the holy aud beuvvolcut,
apology becomes necessary for introducing
Met a fell monster. huge und tierce of look,
some statistics relative to the couauuiption of
Whose awful voice the hills and Ion Sts shook.
“O. s..n of peace! ’ the giant «Tied, “thy fate
victualing mul other stores, especially to such
Is sealed at last, and love shall yield to hate.”
readers as have crossed the Atlantic, and to
The unarmed Buddha, looking, with no trace
those who contemplate making the trip.
Of fear or anger, into the monster's face,
fl he chief steward is not only r«^ponsible
lu pit .’ said, "Even thee 1 low."
for the good order of the servants and the
Lo! a:; he spoke the sky lull terror sank
To hand breadth size the huge abhuiTence cleanliness of the saloons, cabins, baths, etcj,
but for providing the passengers with a good
shrank
and liberal table. 1 he greatest cure is exer-
Into the form and fashion of a dove,
Aud where the thunder of its rage was heard,
«•ised in the sele« tk>n of the staff who have to
Circling above him sweetly sang the bird
attend to the passengers’ wants, and that
“Hate hath no harm for love,” so ran the suug,
these are many and constant the ordinary
“And peace, imweapuned, conquers every routine will show.
wrong.”
THK COOKS KKPT BUSY.
The Lakers turn out at 4 a. in.: this is not a
case of “weather |x-rmitting.” for “blow high,
A Traveler's Oueer Adventure—Life in blow low. out they come, or there would be
no hot rolls or bread or cakes for breakfast.
l'ii«iergrouii«l Ho uses.
While dashing furiously along I suddenly The cooks turn out ut 5:.*i0 a. in. At 0 a. in.
felt myself sink into the earth up to my arm coffee is served in the staterooms to any pas
pits. At tho same instant I heard down in senger requiring it, or on «leek should any one
the ground the shrieks of human beings— have so far forgotten himself as to get out of
bed at that hour. Breakfast is served from
women mid children, licit hands clutch at
8 to 10 a, m., lunch from 1 to 2 p. m., dinner
my legs and naked human bodies pressing
from 5 to 7 p. m.; in the intervals between
against them. 1 uttered no sound—I was too breakfast and lunch, lunch and dinner, and
much frightened. 1 held my breath and
dinner and supper, the passengers assist diges
shrank within myself. Every instant I ex tion with ginger nuts, prunes, oranges, nuts,
pected to led a knife or a spear thrust into cake, und many other things looked upon with
my bedy. My feet were oil the ground, and horror by the natural man; and this never
without knowing what I was doing, I gave a ceases until the end of tbe voyage, giving em
strong push with niv breast. Findii-j that ployment tothqcook till 10 p. m. The bakers
something was giving way, I plunged for finish the day's work at Z p. ni. The stewards
ward and up a steep slope of two or three turn out at 0 a. m., clean saloons, smoking
fed, when 1 found myself bounding like a rooms, etc., and prepare the tables for break
deer ucros.* the level meadow with a great fast: :i porlion of the stewards attend to the
contrivance of basket work suspended from I bedroo.ns, but the greater number attend at
my hips and extending a yard or more on all table or wherever they may l>e inquired.
side«. I looked for all the world as if I bad They finish the day’s work at 11 p. m., and
donned a hugo hooped skirt.
are the hardest worked men on board the ship.
While making a momentary halt, in order
The amount of provisions, groceries, etc.,
to disengage myself from the singular ma on board at the time of sailing are very
chine hanging upon me, I east my eyes back large. For a single passage to the west ward
ward and saw an old woman and three or I one of our most noted steamers, with 547
four naked children scrambling out of the cabin passengers and a crew of 287 persons,
hole from which I had just made my escape. had. when leaving Liverpool on the 28th of
Yelling at the top of their voices, they dashed August last, the following quantities of pro
away us fast as t.lieir legs would carry them, visions—12.5.50 pounds fresh l>eef, 760 pounds
making for the nearest hills. By tho time I corned beef, 5,320 pounds mutton, 850 pounds
had pushed my basket skirt down to my heels lamb, 350 pounds veal, 350 pounds pork,
and stepped out of it I saw a dozen or more 2,000 pounds fresh fish, 600 fowls, 300 chick
black head« emerging from the earth in my ens, 109 ducks. 50 geese, 80 turkeys, 200 brace
immediate neighborhood. Seeing the shaggy grouse, 15 tons potatoes, 30 hampers vegeta
heads popping up all about me, 1 darted bles, *220 quarts ico cream. 1,000 quarts milk
away at a pace that must truL. have aston and 11,500 eggs.
ished the natives. 1 think 1 must have left
In groceries alone there were over 200 dif
the village at least five miles behind before I ferent article's, including (for the round voy
halted. I then t brew myself upon the ground age of twenty-two days)—650 pounds tea,
too much exhausted to even load iny gun.
1,200 pounds coffee, 1,600 pounds white
“Was it one of their houses that you had sugar, 2,800 pounds moist sugar, 750 pounds
jumped into, uncle?’’ here asked a small hoy, pulverized sugar. 1,500 pounds cheese. 2,000
who had been listening with “all his cars.”
]X>iuids butter, 3,500 pounds ham and 1,000
“Yes, boy, the roof of one of their huts. pounds bacon.
You «ce these miserable root digging, frog
EASILY ACCOUNTED FOR.
eating devils live in holes dug in the ground, i
The foregoing seem enormous quantities,
just like so many woodchucks. They make a
kind of basket work dome of witlow, which but very little was left ujx the ship's arrival
they plats? over the ho!e and cover with grass in port. The consumption may easily be ac
wid earth by way of roof, and in hotwoather counted for when it is considered that the
they' sometimes strew this roof with green crew (each member of which is allowed two
leaves as an additional protection from the pounds of l>eef per day) use 574 pounds, that
heat of the sun. The one in which 1 plunged 350 pounds per day will be used in making
was so covered, and the framework being old lieef tea, making a total of 924 {xiunds for the
crew and the single item of beef tea; then 1
and rotten I jjopped through it easily
breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper for 547
enough."—Salt Lake Tribune.
j>asseng«*rs accounts for the remainder. ,
Eleven thousand five hundred eggs appeal’s
to be a large consumption for an eight days’
Novel Club 1» Pari»
minute
We have a new club and one of the most passage; it is in reaZity one egg
novel ever organized. It springs from that from the time tbe ship sails from Liverpool
insatiate desire of Parisians for originality. until her arrival in New York, but they aro
Tlie members of the dub are not more likely prepai-ed in many ways for breakfast und
to lie congenial assis iates than if they were disappear in hundreds at supper; in fact it is
selected entirely at random, for the diicf and not an unusual thing to see a lady or gentle
distinguishing requisition is short.sightedmss. man finish «>ff a supper of grilled chicken ami
Mevertheless tlie first dinner of the club was deviled sardines with four poached eggs on
an interesting and pleasant occasion, and ns toast, and it is the same with everything
all will continue to look upon the affair ill u on board. Isernons are used at tbe rate of
more or leas humorous light it may continue 1)^ per hea«l ¡jer day; oranges, 3 per head
to be siKsvssfnl. To determine eligildlity the per day, and apples, when in semon, at the
managing <v>nimittee decided that a candi rate of 2,3i per head per day.
The quantities of wine, spirits, beer, etc.,
date must wear either spectacles, eyeglasses,
or at least u quiz glass in one eye. In ex. ep- put on board for consumption on the round
tiouul eases men who wore <-olored glass.- voyage comprise 1, 1UU l*ottl«*s of champagne,
were admittetl, but it is declared with mudi 850 Ixjttles of claret. 6,000 bottles of ale, 2,500
Solemnity that this will not ls> done again. liottles of porter, 4,500 L«»ttles of mineral
The dub has not as yet a headquarters, and waters and 650 buttles of various spirits.
Crockery is broken very extensively, being
it is doubtful if tlie idea will lie earrie.1 fur
ther than a monthly dinner in some hotel at the rate of 900 plafiM, 280 ctlp*, 438 saucers,
tutrlors.
Among the members are many 1,213 tumblers, 200 wine glasses. 27 decanters
women, and indeed one of the vice presidents and 6.3 water l>ottles in a single voyage —
is a lady, who is, 1 I dieve. most favorably Ijouisville < ’«airier-Journal.
known lu Amefiea—Mme. Anna Judic. 1 lie
dub is ealle.1 the Association of the Short
Gfn. Hoolanger's -Moral Courage.
Sighted—-th’* Myope*.—Paris Cor. Philatid-
Gen. Boulanger lias a deal ot moral courage
pbia Time«.
_________
und does n. t iniud w hat is «aid about hint.
He had early to steel himself against harsh
she Wasn't Vtasbe.l on Him.
Tbe young ladies in a popular retail estab gibes. -How was that, general.'" 1 asked.
lishment have been joking one of their »um ■ Simply by being often and for long intervals
ber, u prettt, curly haired brunette, abott« when a bov in England You know liow in
her seeming infatuation with a go<*l looking tolerant English sr’booi boys are of foreign
bank teller. The young woman in question peculiarities, or indeed peculiarities of any
displayed anxiety to make the daily deposits sort. Now. whenever I went on a visit to my
at the Lank, and always on her return could uncles in Brighton, I nJ way »bad French made
be n.,ti.-e<l in front of the mirrot . Her com clothes and spoke English with a strong
panions deeide.1 that there could be but one French accent My name. too. was very un-
'»planation of sudi ,-onduct, and that the English. So I was not only for my school
brunette was in love with the teller, and con mat»-, but for tlie young street arabs. a
sulted the mirror to assure herself that her •Fivrn U dog.’ and froggy ,' and many other
ebarms were not on tbe wa?e. But a few thing« equally hateful in their even Tbe
days ago tbe young lady mnde such a satis loxing matches were enJlem. My u.n-les in-
factory accounting that the joking eease.1 al ,is'e<l on mv learning bow to defend myself
and take mv own port. My temperament H
once.
a British product. I lean ed in Brighton how
“You see, lie lia* short curly hair just like
to stand 'being roasteu with gibes, and don t
mine," she explame.1 naively, "and l»e gives
mind a bit how I an> abused, laugh«! at orca-
it the moot ls-autiful twi«t over tbe left ear
hunniated.-Paris Cor. NewYork Tribune.
Pd give anything if 1 could only get my hair
like that, and I study his style every time I
Queen Kaptoiaue ot tbe Sandwich Islands
go to the bank, ami then brush mine to cor i, Xntemplating a tour of tbe United Stat«
respond as aoou as I get back to tbe
thia y<sr She will be accvwpamed by a
He's very nicu, of course, bat you iieedn t
------
think rm inasbed on him."—Buffalo Courter. l«x» rptinue.
A
ROOT
DIGGERS’
COLONY.
IMAGES
ILLY 8.
1887
FOR TOBACCO STORES.
The KuHslan Poet, Ponschkine.
It appears that the poet, annoyed by fre
quent but, as it seems, groundless report* re
garding the alleged infidelity of his wife, Le-
came furiously jealous of his brother-in-law,
Baron de Heckereen. He challenged him, and
a duel was the result.
They fought with pistols at ten paces* Tho
baron fired first, ami Pouscbkine fell, ex
claiming:
“I believe my thigh is fractured."
The seconds and M. de Heckereen ran for
ward to raise him.
“Stop!’’ he went on. “I am strong enough
to take my shot.”
His antagonist again took up his position.
The poet, lying on the ground, raised himself,
ant’ resting on his elbow took aim and fired.
“Hit!” cried the baron, whose arm was
broken.
“Bravo!” exclaimed Pouschkino,
fainted. His wound proved mortal, the
having penetrated the stomach and intestines.
He died after two days of indescribable agony
on Feb. 17, 1837.
Why had he sent the challenge? It was sup
posed, as wo have said, that he was jealous of
his nrother-in-law, but just before expiring
he said to his wife:
“I am happy thou art by my side. Be calm:
it was not thy fault. I know thou art in
nocent I fought because— ”
Death camo and the sentence was never
finished.—Paris Cor. New York Graphic.
A Check Upon the Tongue.
Mrs. Joseph Carey, wife of tho delegate
from Wyoming territory, while in no Genso u
“strong minded” woman, is an ardent believer
in female suffrage. She bar. seen the practical
working of tbo system in Wyoming, and pro-
hounces as absurd tbo common argument that
the right of cuffrago unsexes a woman. At
an evening party recently where Mrs. Carey
was giving uttcranco to these sentiments, Sen
ator Wade Hampton blandly interposed the
remark:
“But. of course, you always vote as your
busband instructs you, do you not?”
Mi-s. Carey’s black eyes snapped merrily as
ebe replied.
“Indeed we do not. The fli*st time that my
husband ran for office I voted against biin,
and my mother supportetl him. The next
time we both opposed him. in each ease svo
thought the other man would make the better
officer. I mentiou this to show that in our
family, at least, the women use their right of
suffrage about a« they please. Moreover, the
conferring of this power upon women has a
good moral effect, csfierialijr upon those
whose husbands are politicians. You may lie-
lieve that where every woman is |>ennitted to
vote the wives of the politicians are very chary
about unduly criticising the otlier women.
To do so means the creation of enemies for
your buslMUMi, who ea* work iiim a gr<*at in
jury if they chaos«. It is a powerful ctow-k
upon the tongue, I assure you.”—Washington
Letter.
*v or kina Him Cicely.
uMy dear,” said a hu»band who is fond ot
putting poaers, ‘‘can you tell me why young
women who don't want to get married are like
angels' vlsitw?”
The lady finally gave it up.
“Because they are few and far between.
Ha. ba, ha! Not bad. ebf*
“Exceedingly clever. He. he, he! By the
way, John, can you let me have that
‘•Certainly,” said John.—New York Suu.
t'.^rmlr Hs.tr.
Chicago Husband— I hearg that Mr. Inr<1,
the eminent expert in pork, will shortly lead
to the altar the beautiful Mia. Hparerib ot
Wabash avenue. Mr. Lard, you know, was
divorced six weeks ago.
Chicago Wife—And intends to wed again
so soon* He couldn’t have thought much ut
his flrst wife - M*w York 8un
••f swan, I believe it.”
“And, old as she is, if you were to get out
tho carriage next Sunday and drive around
with the edts. and tell her you wanted her to
go to meot.'.ng with you, she would actually NEW DESIGNS IN NURSERIES TO
blush with pleasure.”
FORCE INTELLECTUAL GROWTH.
"Blamed if 1 don't do it.”
I
“Then, Monday, if you were to tell her you
were going to hire a girl and that she must ScrmoiiN in Carpet.*, Geography In Win
sit in the witting r<x)m by that new nickel
dows, Natural llistorx on Doors anti
plated coal stove and work on that new silk
Anthropology in Dolls—Tho Schoolboy
dress you are going to buy her”-----
of the Future»
• Professor, that's she.”
•‘And then hand her a nice wallet with
Nursery educational novelties are the latest
steel clasps and with five new $20 notes
proper caix?r, und they are creating quite a
in it, ami tell her to do her own trading after revolution in tho infantilo supply market.
this, because you lia\o got tired of looking Everything required by the little ones is not
after *o much money.*’
owl> useful, but it also leaches the young idea
how to shoot. The wails of the nursery are
I will, as sure as you live.”
“And then when the tear stands In her eye hung with educational paper, tho carpets are
and the same old blush comes out that you dewrated with pictures of “Daniel in the
thought was so nice when you ’went on Lions’ Den," “Samson Throwing Down the
that teeter to AlUmv, if you should kiss Temple,” and other interesting Biblical sub
jects, eniU*llished by Scriptural verses. For
her"-----
“It's all right, professor.”
fear of tiring tho baby mind and to avoid
“Then, my friend, I would begin to think monotony, theso are relieved by illustrations
she Lad made something by marrying a rich deftly printed or woven of “Jack the Giant
Killer,’’ “Jack and tho Beanstick,” “The Old
man.”
Woman Who Lived in lier Shoe” and other
“You’re right, old man.”
“Then I think yon would no longer have a “chestnuts” refreshing und soothing.
Tho ceilings arc painted to represent the
miserable wife. Then you would no longer
want to rent or soil the farm, but would bo broad blue canopy above us, with u complete
showing tlio mother of your children how lay cut of suns, moons, planets, comets, und
much you respected her for her life of devo so on, and the 1 ittle Jamesy, Alphonse or
tion. Then she would know she was a part Margaret Alice can lie on its dear little back
ner in that 8i»U,o<K). Then if you made your on the Biblical pictorial carpet, kick up its
will all right, ami she had a good rest, I dear little heels and see stars to its heart’s
think she would some time be an eligible content and become interested in the study of
astronomy
...........
widow.”
“Think so, professor?’’
MAI’S IN THE WINDOWS.
“1 know it. Woman is a plant that wants
The windows are mado geographical maps,
sunshine. You have been leaving your wile and transparent paintings on tbo glass «how
in the .hade too much. She has lost her color. up the different )>ortlons of the earth in their
You have made her think she is an old true light. If anything occurs in tho street
woman. She bus given up all hope of ad Johnny has to look through Bulgaria to get u
miration and love, and is only waiting to die glimpse of it or squint over tho Alps, the
to get out of the way. Sup|»ra you were Andes or the Appenines in order to obtain u
treated so?’’
v lew of his little red headed lady love across
“Wliat, me? I am all right.”
the way.
“Yes, I know. Women pity you because
The panels of the door are laid ill with
you are tied to such a s.crry looking wile. drawings in colors descriptive of “Washing
Foolish old maids and silly girls whis[jer ton Crossing tho Delaware,” “Columbus Dis
behind your back what a nice looking man covering America,” “The Landing of tho Pil
you arc, and what a stick of a wife you have grims,” und other subjects of historical inter
got, ami you are just soft enough to wear est; the knobs of tlio doorsare animals’ head«,
tight boots and oil wtiut little hair you have so when any of the little ones wishes to go in
left on the top of your head and go around or out of the nursery ho or she i« obliged to
figuring up how long before your uite will study z«jology before making un entrance or
die."
exit.
“Say, now, see here, professor, there is a
Tho different playthings uro made not only
limit to endurance. 1 am going.”
as toys, but some as often Itooks, und whether
“I am coming (Iowa to see you next week; a child walks or runs it is obliged to learn
will it bo all right ?’’
something. The rattles blow “One, two,
“Yre, if you drop tht. kind of talk and three,” teaching tlio child how to count; the
won’t tell of my complaii.ts about my wife. ball is mado to represent tho earth, and as it
I will try your medicine. Would you stick bounds from ono end of tho nursery to tlio
fur that part of your pnvription about the other an idea is given of the world's travels in
pocketbook and 820 notes.”
celestial space.
• How much «lid you say you had made
A XT IIIIO 1’0 LOO Y IN DOLLS.
together? ’
The dolls uro mado to represent the dif-
•leave. The dress will bo ail right, ami ferent races of tho human family, each
the pony and phaeton will lx? bandy for the «loll
lieing
provided
with
different
gals, (’omo down and see us, old man, but beads an« I costumes, so that tho child
not a word alxiut this tali». Il you wasn t an may with very little troublo huvo aud-
old man I'«l—” Tipping his der by back on ieneo with an Indian, European, African or
his head and shaking th«* wrinkles out of Ins lMongolinn. Theso again nru subject to vari
light trouser», bo put his hands into his ation, and can bo made up to represent uny
pickets and sauntered away. “There, ’ said 1 nationality under tlio stni. Ono spec!«?» of
“is otic man who lias taken the only legal and dolls is made to be taken apart und put to
God given way of getting rid of a iniserabie gether, begetting in th? young one’s mind a
wile.*’
passion for the study of anatomy and pliysl
ology.
Woman’s Ambition nml Duties.
Tho child's food is emblazoned with mottoes
Everywhere the great advance ami intel
lectual growth among women is ustonishing and precepts; the little crackers or biscuits
Except those who devote their time and ener are printed so as to read: “Procrastination is
gies to society and its frivolities, women gen the thief of time,’’ “A pine* for everything
erally uro working like Trojans to elevate the and everything in its own place,” “Do unto
sex and to equuliz(J the sexes. In the intel others a* yo would they should do unto you,”
lectual world they are certainly on equal “Order is heaven's first law,” ote.
Jts articles of «lress arc full of useful knowl
footing with men. Nor do men dispute their
edge, its pinafores and bibs are covered with
claim.
the
alphabet and tbo numerals, und as the
In all good work for tho moral and physical
improvement of the race the women are the child ad vane s in age theso givo way to
most interested ami work the bardeat, and, others liearing such word.« as “dog,” “cat,”
what is better still, arc always ready to sup “cow,” “pig,” etc., tbo multiplication table
ply the necessary funds or to sec that they and so on.
Tho plates, mugs and other articles of fable
are supplied.
In domestic affairs women have always furniture are covered with various bits of
reigned supreme, and yet it must be confewed knowledge, amusing and instructive. An
that here they do their pion'st work in cer illustration in tbo renter of a plate or on tho
tain ways, (¡¡ion them rests the responsibil side of a mug i.*> surrounded by «omo useful
ity of bringing up ami training the future text. The child grows up thoroughly imbued
generations of men uml women. Ami still, I with a knowledge of everything, and as it
as a class, they work harder to [save young mingles with tho world it «rrprises every one
men from ruin than they worked to train its comes in contact with by its erudition und
their own sons into habits that should require vast learning.—New York Journal.
no reformation in manhood. Half the time
Gen. Butler on tho Army Chaplain.
and labor «pent upon their own children, they
agreeing as a txxiy upon a line of moral con
The Rev. John F. Moors, recently delivered
duct and teaching, would make the after la a lecture on tho "Army Chaplain,” and a re
bor comparatively light, for nothing no in port of it in u Boston paper has elicited a
fluence* character as early surround lugs, al friendly letter from (Jeu. Benjamin F. But
though, of course, the argument holds that ler to tho lecturer, which close* as follows;
excellent men were in childhood unhappily, “The chaplain who did bis duty and lived an
perhaps viciously, surrounded, and had no upright and conscientious life was retpocted
training to speak of, or the worst; but such by the men. Ho got no bohriquet or pet
cases are rare indeed, and men and women name, but heartfelt love and raqject, Tho
usually carry with them in some way the ef sutler c I um * of chaplain* always got txt
fect« of early training or influence.— Cleve names, and when the soldiers called the chap
lain, as they usually did of that clu s, ‘Holy
land Leader.
Joe,’ or ‘Holy John,* am tho ruse might be,
The <«h»MN From YJbow GremMB*
(Jod help him, for all influence of his lor good
A skilled laundryman. when asked what was gone. He simply liecumo tho butt of the
was the secret of this work, replied: ‘-The ridicule of his comrade«. Perhaps in charity
MM*ret is pressure, nothing more.” The pres you and I won't think at all of that clash, but
sure of moving hot cylinder* is used in steam let bygones I m » bygones,
laundries. In a recent ♦isit to u steam laun
“I have the most vivid memory of many
dry we were much interested in the patent good And true men who were chaplain* in my
appliance« for laundering collar* and cuffs army; nor were tb»y by any means always in
to make then» look like now, und we found the rear on the day of battle, using tbo word
that the linen was passed Iictween two mov •real*’ a* afar off. They bad no buxineim to be
ing hot cylinders under a prewuir* of 120 hi the front line ■; they bud no busincrj to be
pound», and thus receives the high polish.
file closers, eveil the third line, on the«luy of
The ordinary ironer will MMsceed v.-eli jf tattle. But when the shells were bursting
after being sure the articles are waxhed thor and when Ute pings of the ininio bullets from
oughly, rinaod freo from all trace* of acaji the enemy were ringing all along the whole
and dipped in pure, clean starch, she will ura line, I have raen «UapiainM helping to take
clean, smooth iron* and bear down heavily « are of the wounded, directing their transpor
upon the round top of the iron in rubbing tho tation to the rear, easing their pains, and in
jinen. There are starches of various kinds, one caw, by u timely application of nn im
patent gl<7s*es and diver* inventions said to provised tourniquet, stopping the Mund that
produce a polish upon linen; but the better wax ebbing the life of a soldier away, and
way is to depend upon the common starch would have done so before the surgeon could
tx>Ught i i the bulk and of the lx*st grade. have beeg reached. But 1 need not toil you
Home laundresac* stir the hot starch once or w hut the good chaplain« or the tad one* did.
twice round with a sjx*rniaeeti candle kept
m speak with you fieeiy, because 1
for the purpose, and others a«l«l a bit of clean
have the good fortune to have you in
mutton tallow; but foreign suLr-tam-es, like my ranks. ’’¿-Exchange.
wax. gum Arabic, salt or sugar, must be add
ed with caution. Very nice laundry work is
Fuel for the Pralrlr.
«lone by the aid of pure starch alone, with no
An Iowa genius has introdii<*wd to noth'* a
additions. American Cultivator.
new fuel. which is designed to take the place
of coal in th" prairie «smiitries. This fuel is
i.aftff.r iro...
ma«i«* by grinding corn stalks and coarse
Owing to t.w nv-raunl rlc-trical intamity
>f th« atino«phere, which ia indued by tha prairie grass together, moistening them, and
then
pressing tlie pulp into blocks aliout
xxitinual evolution of »team and rtnolre, Dr.
twelve in«‘hes long and four in«-he* thick, and
Andri« «timare« that tb« .langer from light- dried.
It is reported that one block will give
ting la from thrre to five tnun greater than
an hour's steady beat. This fuel can be pro
» waa Oily yean ago.
duced for 19 l*r tun.
BRAIN HOT HOUSES.
Where Made and Where Sold—What Mr.
to Costs—Various 1 nucios.
Travelers from abroad often remark tho
wooden imago of an Indian in front of our
tobacco stores. Theso effigies aro mado in
this city. About thirty persons are at work
on them. Only six firms manufacturo them.
Ono flrm has not mado any new images for
two years, and another is about to close out
and go to Chicago. Between 203 and 300
wooden Indians are put on tho market each
year. Moro than half of those uro used in
New York and the suburbs.
Tho wood carvers who make those figures
are usually ship carpenters by trade. They
acquire their skill by working at ships’ figure
heads. Occasionally a German wood carver
tries his hand, but as a rule he is too slow. A
good workman will finish a lifu sized figure in
two days. He is paid at the rato of from 84
to 84.50 a day. The painters get $2 a day for
their work. An erroneous idea prevails that
discarded masts of ships are used as the mate
rial for a flgure. But these, from wurping
and weather cracks, aro unsuitable for carv
ing. Tho ends of such new spars us have
been found too long for their purpose are
often used. The only wood employed is
white pine.
Indian figures are divided into classes. An
ludían with his hand shading his eyes is a
'•‘scout.” If he has a gun, or a bow and
arrows in his hand, lie is a “hunting chief.”
If his head, except the scalp lock, is shaved
and the body partly naked, he is a “Captain
Jack.” A flgure carrying a small basket is a
“flower girl,” and another nearly similar but
with a robe is u “shawl figure.” A running
posture constitute« a "fly flgure.”
“Fashions in fancies,” as tho non-Indian
figures are called, change greatly. During
the war the ‘‘girl of the period” was in great
demand. “Punches” succeeded, and were
followed by “Pucks. “Dudes” are just now a
drug in the market, as they have been lately
supplanted by “baseball” players. Ten In
dian figures to one fancy is the proportion in
which »hoy are sold.
One large flrm in New York manufactures
these figures by casting them in zinc alloy.
The merits of metal, as compand w ith wood,
arc that it lasts longer ami keejis better, if
used where it is not liable to rough usage. If
any part of a metal figure is damaged tho
piece can be recast and soldered on to the
original casting. But this applies only to
places like New York, where the necessary
appliances are at hand. Oil the other sido
the price is in favor of wooden figures, their
cost being from $17 to $100, while that of
metal figures ranges from 825 to $175.
Wooden figures also receive paint better, lo
that it wears away gradually and docs not
emie off in Hakes—a failing in metal figures.
New York Sun.
NO. 112
HOW
TO GET
RID
ABLE
OF
A
MISER
WIFE.
Woman*« Ambition ami Duties— Dinner's
Delights und Discord'»—11 nuger (or
Praise — Flbow
GrvaM* — A Mistake.
Hints lor tlie House Mother.
“Yes, professor, 1 am afraid I shall have to
rent or sell my farm. My w ife is so miser
able. I cannot carry it on without hiring,
and hiring eats up all the profits.”
1 lookixi at the s|x?akor admiringly. He
w as about 50, but as robust as a man of 30.
Hi; whiskers were neatly trimmed, showing
a full, red cheek. He wore n jaunty hat und
a natty cutaway coat, and below his vest
hung a silk too and a heavy gold seal. I w as
proud of him. He was such a |«ei feet picture
of the New York gentleman from the rural
district that I wanted to imprint his picture
on my memory.
“So your w ife is miserable?”
“Yes, kinder droppin’ with u dry cough
and no ambition. She just kinder drags
around the house, and looks so peaked und
scrawny it gives me the blues. It does, I
swan.”
“Naturally weakly, wasn't she?”
“She? Oil, no. When I married her she
was the smartest girl on the creek. She
used to work f«»r father, und the way she
made the work stand around. took my eye.
She was a j«>or gal, and her industry got her
u rich husband.”
Here he carelessly took out a gold watch,
looked at the time, put it back un«l adjusted
the silk fob on the front of his nicely fitting
trousers.
“So she did well, getting married on ac
count of her industry ?'’
“Why, of course; she was getting only 82.50
u week, and she Ixvame the mistress of a
farm."
“Excuse me, but how mu«*h are you worth
now? confidentially, you know. 1 um a
scientifi«* man, and will never use such farts
to your injury with the assessor.”
I “Well, profes:»or, I could crowd 850,000
pretty hard."
“That is good. How long have you been
married?”
“Thirty years next Fourth of July. We
went down to Albany on a little teeter, and
I proposed the match and Jane was willin'.”
"How much «lo you suppose you have
made in the last thirty years?”
“Hum—um—lenime see. I got the Davis
farm the first ten yeai*s, then I run in debt
for the Simmons place, got war prices for
my cheese, and squared up both places.
Well, 1 think I have cleared up $«>0,0(M) since
we spliced.’’
“X’ery good, indeed. And your wife has
been a great help all this time?”
“Ob, you bet! She w as a rattler. She took
care of her baby and the milk for twenty
cows. I tell you she mudc the tinware flop.
Why, we have had four children, and she I
never had a Lin’d girl over six months in that
time!”
“Splendid; and you have cleared 830,000 in
i that time?”
“Yes; easy.”
“Now, how much has your wife made?”
“She, why durn it, professor, she is my
wile.”
“I know it. But wliat has she made? You
say she was poor when you married her.
Now, what Las she mad«*?”
“Why—by gum, you beat all. Why, she is
my wife and we own it all together.”
“I)o you? Then she can draw on your bank
account ? Then she has a horse and carriage
when she wants them? Then she has a servant
maid when she wants one? Then she rides
out. for her health, and has a watch and chain
of gold as you do? Is that so’?”
“Professor you must be crazy. Nobody’s
wife is boss in that shape. Whoever heard of
such a thing?”
“Now, look here. You say she did well in
marrying rich, and I cannot see it. If she
was getting 82.50 |ier week when you married
her, and hail Raved her wages, she would have
had now 8000. If she had invested it, she
would have had $5,000. Now you tell me she
is broken down and used up, and miserable,
and look* so Iwidly she makes you sick, and
she has no money, no health, and will get
probably nothing but a Scotch granite tomb
stone when she dies?”
“Professor, if you was a younger man I
would lick you quicker'» u spring fuinb can
jump n thistle."
“What for? lain stating the case fairly,
am 1 not? Your wife is no longer young.
She is no lunger handsome. Her hands are as
hard as a local editor’s «-Leek, and she has
stoo]x*d over a milk con until she has a hump
on her back like a jieddler.”
“Shut up, will you?”
“She has raised four children. One of them
is at college. One of them is taking music
lessons at Boston. The other two are teach
ing school. She is ut home alone, going
around in treadmill life, which will end in a
rosew'<Mxi coffin and a first cla*s country fu
neral.”
“Stop that, professor, will you?”
“While you ore a handsome man with just
enough gray in your whisker* to make you
look interesting. No doubt you have lieen
thinking of some nice toung girl of IS who
would jump ut the chance 1o marry your
thirty «*ow< and twenty acres of hopfk”
“Prof cmm »r, 1 won't slay here it you don't
let up on that.”
“And your wife does not l«r>k well in that
new Wate«town wagon, and .s, you take the
hired man and neighltors’ girls to meeting.
Your wifu never goes anywhere, no you
never giv«» her u watch like f'tur own, nor a
new silk dies*, nor u jxwiy that she could
drive, nor a l«asket phaeton that she could
climb into without a ladder. She never «ays
anything, so you never have got her a set «>f
teeth like your own gold and rubber, but she
lias got to gmn it until her n«we is pusbed up
into her forehead anil her fa«-e wrmkb's like
u burned Lout She never gurs «Hit, but sba
don't «lye brr hair as you do yours, but it
looks like a milkweed | mm 1 gone to aeacL Sba
has to work in the kitchen,so «b<* gets no ni<*e
t.x4bpi« I.
like yours, but g«x*s chmipiug
an»un<I likaa sheep in a dry goo«ls I kix .
• Darn niy skin if 1 don't"-----
“No. you won't; you will just let her work
right along, an«I ther. you will marry *>me
high flyer who will pull every hair out uf
your bead, ami *erve you right, too."
-Proferau», for mercy** sake, stop.”
“When }<u know, aixl I know, that if your
wife Lad a '.bonce to rest, ha«i n»r* «iutbe*
like other women, she would be one of the
U*u*L*vm<wt AvogM-n jp the town.”
I