Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Oregon register. (Lafayette, Yamhill County, Or.) 18??-1889 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 25, 1889)
MISCELLANEOUS. A very C urious biro POT-HOUSE POLITICS. —In Europe it Is customary Ao leave «.Mt. or th. la CreMnr< Hw Character or iteTTMagw • Expounding Its Merita. visiting cards on the graves of poets. Found In th* Eastern geaa. As a general thing the bar-room Ibis seems strange, when it is known The maleo is about th. size of a small | politician is not attractive personally. that the occupants of the graves 'are turkey, and not urilike one in appear . He rarely pays mucM attention to his always at home.—Nl O. Picaytuu.. ance, and belongs to the family of meo- . clothing or his general make-up, bo- —It may be doubted whether the apode,. or “big-feet,” which are also > cause his time is completely absorbed . practice of ohewing gum has an injuri called “mound-builders." with matters of great political import ous effect on the eyes of the gum These latter are gallinaceous birds i He. is kept so busy saving the country ehewer, but it hurts the eyes of other (as ore our common fowls or pheas that he has no time or energy to waste I, people.— Somercille Journal. ant«), which are found IB Australia and IT- —Lincoln County, Georgia, requires Papua, or New Guinea, and which lay I in removing grease spots on his rai- I on the average only a day and a half of their eggs, and then scratch up and • ment or in manipulating a clothes ; brush. The blush on his cheek is not , court. At the last session the only carry immense quantities of sticks, prisoner who has Ijpen in jail In the leaves and earth over them, so that the caused 'by his glowing with heavon- i born enthusiasm for the just cause of county for several years was let go on [. his own recognizance, the prosecutor heat of fermentation under a hot sun, the people, nor by the” ruddy hue of hatches them, 'ihese birds have all robust health, but may safely be at- | failing to appear. ----- immense feet, welj adapted for such a , tributed to an inferior brand of whisky. i —Statistics lately published in Ep- purpose, two or three time« as large in The average pot-house mogul of small 1 gland show that the world has 700 proportion as those of our turkeys. caliber is the victim of many strauge ; Croesuses worth $5,000,000 or over, of Instead of using leaves and sticks and hallucinations. One of his pet delu : whom 200 reside in England, 100 In the sand, the maleo of Celebes uses the sions is that he is indispensable. He United States, 100 in Germany, 76 In gravel of the sea-beach alono to hatch harbors an undefined sort of suspicion France, 60 in Russia, 60 in India an-’ its eggs, and these eggs are extremely that the Continuance of the planetary 125 in other countries. large in proportion to the size of the system, somehow or other, rests on —There is anew high-wire act. Two bird. him. As for the political party to ; men starting from different ends of a They do not make regular mounds, which he claims to belong, or rather slack wire meet and pass each other, like thqir cousins, the megapodee of which hedmagines belongs to him, he “Pui-faury Bullets.” going by on a waltz Btep. A woman Australia, b.ut the whole beach shows is perfectly sure that but for his sagfe An excited Irishman lately rushed into a Bos ton drug store, having a “broken-up” appear actually dances on the wire, and a man a series of elevations and depressions, counsel It would fall to pieces and re ance generally. “Be Jubbera”! he yelled, Kl’m trots across it with a oompanion up like a rough, confused sea. Contrary solve itself into chaos. It is almost all wrong entolrely. I want some shtuff to straighten me out. Soma o’ them ‘Purgatory right on his shoulders. to what we should imagine, the very impossible for the small-bore dema Bullets’ will fix me, I’m thlnkiu’. What d’ye —A lady saw. a driver, angry with large eggs are not found at the very gogue to believe that his party could tax for thim?” ?‘What do you mean?” asked the clerk. “Purgatory Bullets,’ sor, somethin' bis horses for some fancied offense, bqttom of the depressions, nor on the survive a single campaign in case he loike that, they call thim," replied the man. about to lash them severely. She in summit of the mound of gravel, but in should pay the debt of nature—the “Shure, I’m in purgatory already, with head ache and liver complaint, and bad shtomach, terrupted him by inquiring the way to shallow trenches, and on the slopes of only debt, by the way, which h. ever and the divll knows what all.” The.clerk passed out a vial of Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Purg a certain Btreet to a certain man's the irregular hummocks. does pay. ative Pellets, and Pat went off contented. These house, both of which she knew very Instead of being a modern Atlas with little Pellets cure all derangements of liver, 'lhe natives of the island understand and bowels. Sugar-coated, little larger well. But the driver, too gallant not perfectly how to find' them, by probing the whole world on his shoulders, he stomach than mustard seeds, and pleasant to take. Drug t/ answer the lady's questions, had op in the gravel with a flexible, delicate himself is a burden grievous to be gists. portunity for his temper to cool, and stick. If the egg has been lately laid, borne. He wanders around, never al restored the whip to its socket without and just covered, the gravel is very lit- lowing himself to stray far away froih striking a blow. tlo packed, and easy to penetrate with the saloonsl'iike an evil spirit seeking r—Time, twentieth century. Flace, at the stick. Then the gravel is scraped rest and finding none, and allowing no the polls. First Female Voter—“How away—the stick used again—and so body else to find any, either. He will halt gentlemen on the public highways, do you do, Mrs. X? Who are you going the egg is reached at last It is often three or four feet below and unless they seek safety in flight, to vote for for governor?” Second Fe male Voter—“O, I have not decided the surface of the mound. The heat of he will inflict on such victims, in a yet The Republicans have put up Mr. the beach, however, on which the trop whisky-laden whisper, whole libraries A. They say he’s very popular, and ical sun is ever shining, hatches the of stale political lore and decayed cam sure to be elected. But Mr. B, his op eggs at this depth; for, after they are paign rubbish... In regardato the actual service® he ponent he doesn't seem to have any once deposited and covered up, ths friends at all, poor fellow; guess I'll parent birds take no more notice ot renders his pariy there will always be i an honest difference of opinion. There vote for him." First Female Voter— them. The male birds, as well as the hens, is good reason to believe that this pos “So will I.”.— Yankee Blade. for pap does more to cause the 1 —“What will it cost mi, Uncle Ras- dig up the gravel to form the mounds, tulant element of his party to go. 1 tus, to Have my coop whitewashed?” and throw up the material in perfect respectable to the opposition than all the other • $ “I kam’t tell yet, sah, till I makes an showers; and they do this in an odd over put together. The shrewder < estimate ob de size and dimonshuns.” way, and not scratching alternately, causes and office-seekers perceive I That night the owner was disturbed by with both feet, like common fowla The politicians a loud noise in the hen-coop. “Hi, maleo poises himself on one leg, and J that the unsavory but enthusiastic dem is la reality adangerous Jonah, 1 there!" he shouted from an upper gives rapid digs with the other, the agogue window, "what are you doing there?” large foot, slightly webbed at the base who should be promptly inserted into "It’s Uno. Rastus," was the reply, of the toes, being as large and effective the raging main if the ship is to be saved, and they often do throw him “and he's flggerin’ on de size an’ di- as a man's hand. Although the explorers from the overboard; but he always bobs serenely menshunS ob de coop."— Harper's Ba- Marchesa found the curious birds in up and swims to shore, or is picked up tar. ■ —“This is the darndest place I ever great numbers upon the seashore, they by the rival craft. Occasionally the small-bore politician was in," exclaimed the bucolic gentle could only get them by creeping up man at the theatre. . “I’ve been look quite close, and then running in and gets into power and stiqks with the ing around for the last haif-hour and shouting; when, instead of running off, pertinacity of a postage stamp GT~S7 can't And the door." “Don’t you Bee they took to their wings and perched pocket-book on a damp day. The tax discover that they are being . the sign on that door?" asked the gen upon the forest trees which formed a payers tlemanly usher. “Exit, that’s Latin, bplt along the beach. Here they seemed robbed by a set of famished cormorants. and means the place where you go out” to think themselves perfectly safe, and Then it is that the man whose property “Then why in time don’t it say so? I one can be shot at a time, without put- is being sold for taxes lifts his voice and -a r ebell io u s liuof and rails at th~e~" guages. ’Cause a feller can’t read found to be delicious eating, and their small-bore demagogue. An independ Latin, ha’q got to burn to death in case skins, being unique, most valuable for ent tidal wave sweeps over the neigh borhood, and the small-bore demagogue stuffing, for museums and collections. of fire, eh Boston Transcript. The maleo's egg is huge, in propor and his friends are left high and dry —“Men,” Baid the captain of the tion to the size of the body, and some when the waters recede. steamer to the frightened passengers days elapses between the laying; and This style of politician prevails, in a huddled about him. “it is true we are the question is, why should the egg be more or less malignant type, from not gaining on the leak, but wo are I so disproportionate to the size of the Maine to the Rio Grande, and infests only fifteen miles from land, and if bird? every political party.— Texas Siftings. necessary we can throw overboard The theory of Doctor Guillemard, the 2,000 tons of freight to lighten ship. VILLAGES OF RUSSIA. naturalist who describes them, is that There is ho occasion for alarm. We the eggs of these birds would bo ex have several hundred casks of rum in The Deplorable Condition of Sixty Mil posed to much risk if in an open nest, lions of Ignorant Peasants. tl»e hold that we can —-■'>* “No occa wfflSJhuried as they are they are com The idea of 60,000,000 of people be sion for alarm!” exclaimed a tall Ken- paratively safe. He says ' that the ing constantly upon the verge of starva tpqkian, turning pale with apprehen weightoof such a mass of gravel must tion is a startling one, yet there does sion. “Captain, do you intend to throw be taken into consideration, when it not seem to be any reason to doubt the that rum overboard?”— Chicago Trib will be seen that no chick of ordinary truth of the author's'statement The une. size could force its way through it to peasants are frightfully ignorant, and —Tho average age of locomotives is the surface. Hence the necessity of a their mirs make them, to a certain ex about twelve years, yet many, through large egg and a powerful chick; or, in tent, selfish. These mirs are village proper habits of living, taking their other words, the curious habit has been governments, each one independent of meals regular and avoiding all intoxi adopted for the preservation of the spe the other, and eaqh peasant, while cating beverages attain quite a re cies.— Golden Days. bound for life to his mir, has no ties spectable did age. The oldest run connecting him with any other village. ning engine in Germany has been on Nor have the mirs any connecting links. GROWING SMALLER. the road since 1846, and is conse To all intents and purposes the mirs in quently forty-three years old; quite a Dlfferent Way» In Which Men Grow Funy Russia are ¡¿dependent States, with Methuselah, in fact With regard to nothing in common but the Government and Insiffnlltaant. its habits it has always confined itself A young lad overheard a conversa tax gatherer. It is this fact that has strictly to water, though It has been tion which took place between his been the safety of the Russian autoc addicted to smoking'all its life. It is father and Mr. H., a neighbor; with racy, for were a concerted movement sad to see a locomotive grown prema reference to a well-known Inhabitant of to come the General GovernmerfTof the turely old by getting on trainsand run-' the place. The lad did not pay suffi country would go down before it as Ding all night but they are often met cient attention to understand much that would a pile of sand before a breaking with—in collisions.— Texas Siftings. was said. This remark, however, dam. In fact, the authority of the —Flagstaff, Me., is an interesting struck him. “He is,” said Mr. H., re Czar to-day rests upon two things—the town for two reasons. It always has a ferring to the person respecting whom ignorance of the peasantry and their Miles Standish among its citizens, and they were conversing, “he is growing lack of organization. the Standish /arm covers the ground smaller every day.” It is a question, however, of great where Benedict Arnold encamped on The lad thought he would see If the Interest how long this state of things his Quebec expedition, aqd where he remark were true. The next time he will last. If, as Stepniak says, the erected a flagstaff, from which the met the person, he «yed him narrowly, majority of these peasants are in want place received its name. G. W. Stand but could see no diminution of his all the time, if they absolutely have ish, one of the leading men of the portly dimensiona He wont to his not enough to eat for the larger part of town, is the only remaining son of father for an explanation of the mean the year, a time will come when they Miles Standish, who was the eighth ing of Mr. H.'s remark,- and learned will move. They may be ignorant, but PI3 0 S CURL rofí CONSLf1 PII ON direct descent from Miles Standish, the that there are other ways of growing no man is so ignorant that he can not captain of Plymouth. G. W. Stand small besides the lessening of the bodily tell the difference between hunger and repletion. When the misery becomes ish’s only brother. Miles, died seven form. years ago. but he left a son Miles, now Men grow smaller when they grow widespread enough, when the tooth of nation presses down hard enough, twenty-two years old, •nd G. W. has a penurians. Examples of this kind of son Miles, who is four years old. growth are quite common. "There something will happen. The history - Young lady (at dinner, sadly, to goes a man,” said a princely merchant of the world has shown often that under certain conditions in society a partner)—“1 was forcibly reminded of New York to a friend from the coun spark is only needed to set fire to the yesterday. Mr. Larkins, gf the opening try as he passed a man in the street- - train. It might begin in Russia with words of the poem, T never loved a ‘•There goes a man who was very lib knocking down a tax gatherer. And- dear gazelle.’ ” Mr. Larkins (with eral before he became rich, er before when it does bogin the result will be interest)—“Yes!” Yodsg Lady—"Yes; there was a prospect of his becoming fearful. The atrocities of the French I was presented with a lovely little rich.” . revolution would cease to be talked of, When the man in question was doing lamb which I tenderly nursed and for those in Russia will cast them into a small business he was very liberal cared for through the summer, and of the shade. As the Russian Czars and in proportion to his means. . Some which I grew very fond. Yesterday nobility have sown so shall they reap. the poor little creature broke Its leg thought he gave away more than was Of course there will be great wrongs -•nd it became necessary to kill it I've proper and right When he was worth done; of course the persons wbo have felt so distressed over the matter.” an hundred thousand dollars he gave brought it about will escape, for in the Mr. Larkin—"It is Indeed, Miss Brown, away less than when he began business vengeance of races the Innocent suffer k truly sad.” Young Lady—“Ah. yes. on a espial of two or three thmisind for the guilty. The sins of the fathers Mr. Larkins, and the piece de resist- When he wns worth half a million, it will be visited upon the children. And •ace of to-day's dinner is all that is was with great difficulty that he could who shall say. when those sine are con left of njy poor little lamb. It nearly be induced to give away any thing at sidered. that this will be unjust.— Cur k breaks my heart Won't you have «11. His wealth had grown Urge; his rent Literature. • • small piece of the prisp fat Mr. Lar soul had grown smalL—N. K -In order to appreciate succees^we kin? It is simply delicious.”— Epoch. must know failuie. and our great«* sueeeswr consist not in never falling nut in persistently conquering such faU- “Twe are prone tojorget wtetdo know; whereas we should cowidsw that whatever good thing we so far good to ns as it b remembered to ^^.-R.ehardCeeiL _ ~ ran I* fosnd for Sold only inborn, jsg^aiaxsssxiff. 7 uu . wk ( om F CREAM §AKlNg My Poor Back ! PERFECT PROMOTES DIGESTION SIMULATES LIVER
