Image provided by: Yamhill County Historical Society; McMinnville, OR
About The Oregon register. (Lafayette, Yamhill County, Or.) 18??-1889 | View Entire Issue (June 15, 1888)
OLKS' COLL MN, E AGE OF * DEER 13 T0LD * by HIS ANTLERS- Lri T.I1. w- 8h' great Am«rican Waterfall, .ad CLbr-H»« W j.bllra. - thin« that are being ««Id Ibe golden jubilee ot Xra, oi England, it may be well tn tbe younger reader, of thia or celebration a««.. A Bars Combination. Certain society circles have been greatly agitated this week over a novel sort of bever age introduced by the wife of a New Jersey congnesuian at her recent reception. No body seems to know what it really was, but everybody, you may depend upon it, la eager to find out Quit« by accident I am enabled to satisfy this curiosity. Tbe following con- varsatioa between the hostess and one of her “easistanta” at the refreshment table took place in one of tboseluUs when the stream oi incoming visitors seems to have for some un accountable reoaou been arrested, only to break out afresh with redoubled fury five minutes afterward. It ia given upon the authority of a young scapegrace, at tbe time on inmate of tho house: Hostess (tarning UMBe refreshment table and potaliag to a pot of bouillon'—Mary, dear, it you want to replenish that pot oi bouillon, just ring the bell for tbe servant; sbe’ll bring it up from tho kitchen. Mary—Is that bouillon! Ob, heavens, and here I bare been serving it all tbe afternoon with milk and sugar! > Tableau l-New York Tribune. He Had No Library. “I believe you are a great reader, Miss Quimby P “Yes, I read a great deal." “Have you read any of Tolstoi’s worksF “No, but I am dying to see some of, his books.” “There is no reason why you shc^ildnt see them. I can furnish you with them.” “How delightful! You must have quite a library, Mr. Longhead?” “No, I can’t say that I have. But, you see, I am a book agent.”—Nebraska State Journal. __________________ ■ Necessary Preliminaries. Ql’IEX VICTORIA. [nays ben customary to irrii «nd coronation days of kings Sometimes this lias been done Elect” to a tlma honored custom; ftecause of the people’s fondue« L„ny and stably proeemions, and flv bw-nuse they truly loved the Lmsn who ruled over them. La# Victoria will have reigned as England fifty yeaiv, or half a cen- ¡nusuany long «nd peaceful reign for by It is safe to a&uiue that. tbe m ot her fiftieth coronation day will [sinl scale, and that representatives iy countries will participate in It. Professional Stage Manager (engaged to superintend amateur theatricals)—Anl the audience all geated? ’ Professional Assistant*-Yes, sir. “No one allowed to «nW except those who had invitations?” h “No, sir.” “Did the policemen at the door succeed in> disarming everybody f “Yes, sir.” “Ring up the curtain.”—Omaha World. * They Acted Like It. “Do you know,” remarked the professor, “that dogs have been known to act strangely for several hours before an earthquake?’’ “I da,” calmly answered the student. “And what do you infer from thia fact?” continued I Game of "Mummy.” the professor. “That they were strange [me “Mummy” bids fair to rival the dogs,” replied the brave young man.—Bur [popularity, says a writer in Ear- dette in Brooklyn Engle. tr. Divide tlio company Into two [Zrt.l<‘s. according to number; seud- After HI* Wool. [division into an adjoining room, Mr. Cluff (who is going to have his hair ley should b« arranged in a sornl- cut)—Whadjer want, chile? Llarger ones on tbe lower chairs, to His Youngest—Mammy tole me t* toller yo* ftbs height, the smaller ones”vice down, en git do wool whad kims off, fer ter Lefully enwrap each one in a sheet, stuff do sofy piller.—Tid Bits. Civ the eyes uncovered, but conceal has so entirely that it is even aimat- Omaha Bow* to Gotham. Ljecture whether it be a man or a Over «07,000,000 were invested in new [When tho wrapping has been ar- buildings in New York last year. New York L-b mummy must keep it in.place by is rapidly becoming the Omaha of the east— Laud when all are ready tbe other Omaha World. [come In and guess to whom the eyes It gives one a very uncanny feeling pair of questioning eyes peering Into hi, and tbe disguise is so complete at are nearest and dearest are not [cognized., When all have liad a row off the sheets and let the other . change places until all have been Jyguesseil nnd mumniied.'TTiisgairie" failed by stretc hing heavy paper, in roups of oye slits have been cut, be open doorway. For economy's pasted together the large, almost lheets that dry goods come wrapped rhich the merchants w illingly gave fit entirely dark behind the paper, w. «11 the light possible on the eyes hese slits in the paper. Uneysnnsetriaal Physical Development. Pertect symmetrical development la rarely found in man or woman. Of course, those who work with their hands and are much on their feet generally excel in form, but there ia a tendency in all for some limb or parts of tbe body to become stronger and better developed than the others. To occupation can be attributed this disparity, which, however, unless marked, is not of great significance. Ex cluding from consideration that class given to hard manual labor, we find that, in the majority of men and womeu, after the age,of maturity is reached, tbe upper. balTof-the body does not retain its rela tive development and strength as com pared With the ¿ewer half. Of course, tbe solution ia easy, the labor pat upon thp lower limbs is greater than that which rails upon the arms to da Tbe business man, when told by bis {fhysician that be must exercise, insists that be has all that be needs, for he ia “on his feet from morning until night," and the hard working housekeeper thinks, too, she has quite enough, and gives tbe same reason. Wo find these people strong on their feet, but comparatively weak in their arms. Circulation in the lower halt of tbe body ia good, but in the upper pact It is lees free, and less blood is attracted to it. The natural adjustment Is de stroyed. Nature intends that a certain portion of blood In the human body should enter and distribute itself throughout the muscular system. If, however, large muscles, like those of the arms and trunk, are insufficiently exercised, and as a con sequence grow smaller, then the blood in tended for them is diverted elsewhere. It must lie taken up by the internal organs, and the liver is tbe one organ which, from Its peculiar construction, will bear the greatest increase in the blood supply. —Boston Herald. The Fear of Draft*. Foul dust in rooms cannot be got rid of by any amount of sweeping and carpet lieating. Tbe only thing that will remove and replace it is a current of compara tively pure air from the outside. Except In very cold weather there should always be two open windows in each room on opposite sides. "If we should follow that advice,” the horrified reader will exclaim, "we should all catch a fatal cold. Don’t I remember a dozen colds I got by being exposed to a sudden draft? Only a few nights ago, when I occupied a seat near the door of a theatre, the door was left open during the intermission, and tbe draft, though pleasant enough, gave me a bad cold. No, thank you, no drafts for met” This logic seems good, yet it is utter sophistry. As a metaphysician would say, tlie draft was only the occasion, not the real cause of tlie cold. The real cause was ths fonl, hot air in the theatre, which demoralized your akin and relaxed Its blood vessels, so that they were unable to react suddenly and endure the healthful cool air from the street. In other words, It was not the draft that gave you the cold, but the sudden transition from hot to cold air. Such a transition is always Injurious to the skin, whether it be from hoth to cold or from cold to hot air. But If you are not overheated, a current of cold air is never Injurious.—The Epoch. “Stirring Up“ an Oil Well. When the first flush of a well is gone, the torpedo agent is called in to increase the production. In shooting a well from' 60 *0.100 quarts of. ultro'Blycyiue pre used. This is lowered into tho hole in shells cleverly contrived to prevent a pre mature explosion, and then the “go devil,” a chunk of iron for exploding the cartridge on top of the -glycerine, is dropped. In a minute or two an explo sion about as loud as a firecracker will be beard, while the casing in the hole will rise a few inches above the derrick floor and then settle back. The response from A Narrow Hauge. the shot will not come until ten or twenty avryer- I heard that Brassfront had minutes later, then the well flows freely >is argument yesterday. . They say and at an increased rate. In the course > «hut ih « u up. * .*• of time the well refuses to flow of its own tewver-*No| exactly; only accord and is classed among the "pump to facts.—Tid Bits. ers.” Two-inch tubing is run down to thé producing sand, and the same ma The Anttar« of tlie Stag, chinery that was used in drilling tbe well sler. are to thtmtng what a strhnelv is called in to do the pumping. From Botintennnre is toman. They are the time to time the tubing and sucker rods r which bo is known and identified ire drawn and the well cleaned out or r year, in niountuiu and in forgst. treated to another dose of glycerine. This put seven months old., the first ap- txplalns why the derrick at a completed Iof antlers show themselves in two Miss Waldo (of Boston)—Yes, Mr. Wabash: well is never torn down.—Rufus R. Wil- Kubemnces on the head of the male I am perfectly delighted.' Papa has decided iou in San Francisco Chronicle. nn which in his secorid year two pointed horns shoot forth. Before, that we shall spend next summer in Rome. Virtue In Onions and Beef. Mr. Wabash (of Chicago)—Indeed! Why, , bis second birthday comes nround. What is the most strengthening food Tvo got a friend in Roma He is night clerk ■ns fail off at the very root, but are Fpr a convalescent? Well, you know, the heed by another born from which a of tbe Butterfield house—Tid Bite. beef tea theory has been exploded. The brow antler issues, curving down-' Here’s a Moral for You. most life giving and digestible food that rard tbe eyes, and tho animal is now Donald Fletcher, who has just been elected ;an be given to one just recovering from is “brocket.” In another year he president of the Denver (Colo.) Chamber of. \n illness is chopped beef. Just take a Witional point and is called u “stag- Commerce, reached that city nine years agu pound of the finest round of raw beef, cut id aa yet another year passes by, each almost dead.with consumption and with only MI all the fat, slice two onions, and add cm is termed tbe “beam,” and the th in his pocket. He is now one of the pepper and salt. Then chop the onions gether bears the name of antler, wealthiest men in Denver, and has robust ind meat together, turning them over an<j d not until then, does tbe naturalist health. Moral: Go west, young man, with >ver until both are reduced almost to a the animal entitled to be called a $5 in your pocket and a bad attack of con pulp. Then spread on slices of rye bread sumption in your system.—Norristown Her ind eat as sandwiches. People talk about »lery being a nervine, but let me tell you ald. ________ .bat there is nothing which quiets the The rhlloaophy of Etiquette. a. □erves without bad results like onions. “Is it now considered 111 bred to take the The use of them Induces sleep, and much last biscuit oil the plater queried Richelieu itrength is obtained from them. That is of Waggley. tny ideal food for those convalescing or "Well, no, but it is decidedly unwisa” > tor any one who is in a weak state of “Unwisor health.—Kansas City Star. “Yes; always wait a minute and they’ll bring on some hot ones!”—Detroit Free Preen Hi* One Infirmity« ear tbe stag casta his horns, adding >re sprays, as these are termed, with ?ge, but tbe main formation remains A Chrtous Experiment. » a semblance of perpetual motion, r pieces of camphor gum in a basin water. These pieces of camphor will Pn a peculiar motion, traversing irt of the surface of tbe water, hut “ntly be stopped by dropping into » the minutest quantity of ou oily « A little girl in The Pearl, not long ago, wrote the following concise and comprehen sive composition on Niagara: Among the many wonders of this world is tbe great cat aract of Niagara. It falls 164 feet. A short distance below the falls piles a small steamer, propeijly named tbe “Maid of the Mist," which conveys visitors within a few feet of the base of tbe cataract, where they can view it to their rati faction, each being enveloped in a rubber suit to protect his clothes from the heavy mist. In and about Niagara are many places of interest Among them may be mentioned Table Rock, tbe Horsesboe falls, the Cave of tbe Winds, Goal Island, Three Sisters Islands, and last, but not least, the whirlpool rapid« The suspension bridge and tbe railroad bridge span the chasm that forms the bed of the Ni agara river below the falls. At Lundy’s lane, within sound of the roar of this mighty cataract, was fought the hocxllaat Itottta of tbe war of 1312. • Graffon—Awfully cfeverfellow, Gagley. He might shine in society if it wasn’t for his one infirmity. Miss Clara—Why, I always thought he was very correct in his habits. Crafton—Oh, yes; he is all that, you know; but his neck’s so ducedly short that he always has to wear a turn down collar.—Life. ■gel1. IN ARQTÍC REGIONS. A THE PECULIAR MARBLE LIKE QUALI TIES OF POLAR SNOW. Little Danger of Trains Being Blockaded by Baow Drifts la tbe fcxtreme North ern Beglone—Meteorological Conditions. Mistakes Wbleh Writers Make. When there was some talk a little while back about the Canadian government or the Manitoba portion of it, building a railway from Winnipeg to a port in Hudson’s bay to get water communication through Hudson’s strait to Europa, tbe press of ths United States, and especially that of the Atlantic seaboard, was naturally against the scheme that ignored their country and its commer cial advantages, the most common argument that I saw being condensed into the remark of one paper, which said that “this Arctic railroad would be busy shoveling mow off their track eleven months in tho year and could rest tho other month waiting for ships through ths ice blockaded straits.” Had this railroad ever been built (I understand that it is now abandoned, although the rail way company is anxious for another expedi tion to the straits), I surmise it would have been a commercial failure, but wholly so from the “ice blockaded straits,” while as far as snow impediments were concerned it is very doubtful if it would have suffered as much as many of the railroads within our own limits that have two or three serious blockades every winter. KO DAKOKR OF BLOCKADB& If any one of my readers will closely .watch the railroad news through a winter lya will see that tho worst snow blockades rare not confined to the most northern rail ways by any means./ ■ Only the other day I 8aw a Canadian criticism of the prospective Russian railway from Europe across Siberia to the Pacific ocean, as competing with their own for Chinese and Japanese trade when this same false idea that the Siberian rail way would be closed half the year, with “«•»p Arctic snows,” was . thrown out as a big piece of comfort in the case, when the chances are good that it would be closed less by this means than the Canadian Pacific, while it has Jess trouble than transconti nental roads south‘of it. I lived a number of winters on one of these interoceanio rail roads running nearly through the center of our country, reckoning north and south wise, aad this fact was painfully impressed on me in annoying blockades of days in length. But it should be said on the other side, also, that from ito^greater density a foot or yard in depth of this hard, marble like Arc tic snow would probably impede a train much more than an equal depth of the soft snow with which we are so familiar; but giving this all due allowance it is still in favor of tho ]M>lar regions, and no capitalist need hesitate to put his money into Arctic railways on account of snow difficulties. There is already a railway in Europe— Sweden—that runs into the Arctic regions for the purpose of tapping districts rich in tho finest iron ores. It runs from the port of LuJea, in Sweden, at the head of the Gulf of Bothnia, across the Arctie circle to the Gellivura mountains, where the ores are found. It is only within the last month or two that the iron horse has invaded the frigid zoup fur the first time, running over this lino, while the Hudson Bay railway,” which Jias been so generally called the Amer ican Arctic railway, at its northern terminus was over COO miles from the Arctic circle, or a little over half way from the Canadian- United States bouhdary tothe frigid zone.**— HARDNESS OF ARCTIC SNOW. The shortness of the two seasons, springj ahd autumn, when the snow is falling, prob ably helps to explain why there is so little of it, at least in comparison with the popular idea regarding the large quantity. I know that occasionally some Arctic writer in a desperate attempt to portray the desolation of the north speaks of the deep, deep snow covering everything with its mournful man tle, but in a country where there are no trees nor brush to project through the snow, covering whatever may be its depth, it is im possible for any one to tell whether that covering is a foot or forty fAthoms, as far as the sujjerficial indications are concerned, and no such a j-erson is going to take a ten-foot pole and go thrusting into snowdrifts to con firm his assertions for the benefit of his readers. The peculiar hard consistency of the Aro- tic snow is due, according to Eskimo author ity, to two reasons—the packing power of the polar gales and the action of the ex tremely low temperatures of that region. At least both of these conditions will have to be fulfilled before those Arctic architects will uso the fall snows for building their <*urious winter homes of that material, or probably, to put it plainer, after enough snow has fallen to make house building safe on the side of quantity, a regular old boreal olizzard must have swept over it and the thermometer must have had a siege of de pression before they consider it fit to cut into blocks and put together into houses.— Lieut. Frederick Schwatka. “Cribbed, Cabined and Confined.*' What enemy of a race, dependent tor stam ina and stability upon the health of its women, invented and ordained our “evening dresses1” The long pointed bodice—what there is of it-fite like a kid glove; a wreath of roses fast on the left shoulder, droops low below tbe bust until it finds safe lodgment on the protul>erant right hip. Folds of tulle meeting the garland, in “surplice” Myle far I »clow tbe breast bone, are confined on tbe right shoulder, by a bow of ribbon. Sleeves there are none, unless the obsolete articles are indicated by the bow on one shoulder and the flowers on the other. ’ The V-shaped ex posure of the chest is corroborated at the back by a vacancy between tho shoulder blades, which has the spinal column as a visi ble center. Long gloves strain in paroxys mal modesty to reach the ribbon knots and roses and fail by tour inches of tender flesh. It is winter, and undervest of merino or sanitary flannel was stripped from shoulders, chest and arms l>efore the wearer “dressed” for tbe ball. She is padded and pinioned, and her skirts are tied painfully back over steel ribs that outbear a satin ami tulle train In this rig—“cribbed, cabined and confined* —she is to enjoy invigorating exercise, W» poetry of motion, in a room heated by tor nace, gas and a crowd of steaming humu bodies; the modicum of air for which hsr stays leave room in her Jungs will be breathed fifty times over before her turn cornea . . MARK TWAIN*8 VISITOR. Consumptive Man Ventures Twain's Smoke-House. [Arkansaw Traveler.) Into A Washington correspondent tells how Mark Twain, when he acted as the national capital correspondent of a California paper, used to occupy a small, dingy room, and how be used to unoke a villain out pipe and mur derous tobacco to rid himself of unjd sasun t - visitors. This was aaairedly an excellent idea for a man who could stand it, but it cruelly sacrificed men who, with the kindest of intentions, called to see tho quaint writer who was beginning to make a reputation. One day, while the humorist was busily at work on a sketch which is sow known in for- 4 •igu languages, a tall, sallow-faced man, with a miserable expression of countenance, and a deep, consumptive cough, entered the room, and, without an invitation, tat down. In those day* “Mark” could not well affect that independence which justifies the ejection of a caller, so, turning to the visitor, Mr. Clemens said: “Well, what can I do for your “Well, nothin' in particular. I heard 'em ■ay that you are the man that writes funny things, and as I have several hours to loaf round before the train leaves, I thought I would come around and git you to make ma laugh a little. I ain’t had a good laugh in many a day and I didn't know but what you mout accommodate me.” “Twain”, scowled at the man, who, think ing that the humorist was presenting him with a specimen of facial fun, began to titter. “That’ll do fust rate, oap*n, but Td ruther heah you talk. I can make a mouth at a man about as easy as any feller you ever saw, an’ w’at I want is a few words from you that’ll jolt me like a wagin had backed agin me.” “My friend, I am very busy to-day and—" “Jes, I know all that. I am busy myself except that I've got about two hours t loaf ■n' as I said jest now, I’d like tor you to git off something that I can take home.” “Wont you have a cigarF the humorist asked, to learn whether or not the man was a smoker. a _ ^“No, I never could stand a seegyah.” ' f “Twain” smiled, and, taking up his pipe filled it with tobacco strong enough to float _ a skillet on its fumes and began to puff. “I’ll keep him in here now,” tho smoker mused, “until he is as sick as a dog. I wouldn't consent to his departure if he was to get down on his knees and pray for deliverance.” "I'll keep him here now until he is as sioh ae a dog." “Nothing does a man more good than a hearty laugh,” the visitor said, coughing as cl«ld of smoke surrounded his head. “Wah, hoo, wati, boo! Dofi’t you think it is a leetle ciost in here?” “Oh, no,” replied “Mafk,” arising and slyly locking tbe door. “I like a little fresh a’r, 'specially when thar’s so much smoke in a room.’’ “Oh, there’s air enough here. How did you leave nil the folks-?” “Well, Gabe, my youngest—wall, hoo, wall, hoo—ain’t as peart as he mout be, but all the others air stirria’. You ain t got no chillun, 1 reckon?’ “No,” the humorist replied, as he vigor ously puffed his pipe. “Well, I’m sorry fur you. Thar ain’t nothin’ that add^ , to a man’s nachul enjoy ment like chillun. That boy Gabe what I was talkin’.about jest flow, w’y, I wouldn’t give him up fur the finest yoke of steers you •ven seen.” “You wouldn’t?” “No, sir, wouldn’t tech ’em with a ten foot pole—would refuse ’em pine blank pon der, don’t you—wah, hoo, wah, hoo—think it’s a gittin’*a little too ciost in here nowF ‘•No, not a bit, just right,” “WeU, 1 don’t know the style in this place, but I’ll try an’ put up witfcdt.” ' “Mark” showed no pity. The visitor, after a moment’s silence, continued: “When 1 left home, Mur—that’s my wife—said to me, says she, ‘Now say, while you are thar don’t smoke that cob pipe.’ ‘Well, mother,' says I, ‘what’ll I smoke.’ I never could stand a »ygyah fur it ain’t got no strength.’ ‘Well then,’ says Mur, ‘don’t Smoke none.’ L- wanted to follow her advice, but I put my— wah, hoo, wah, hoo—old fusee in my jeans an’ now 1 b’l’eve I’ll take a smoke.” He took out a cob pipe and a twist of new ground tobacco, known in his neighborhtxxl as “Tough Sam,” whittled off a handful, filled his pipe, lighted it, put his feet on the stove and went to work. “Mark” soon be gan to snuff the foul air, but he was deter mined to stand it Had he been acquainted with the numerous strong points of “Tough Sam’’ he would have surrendered at once, but this was hTs first introduction to “Samuel." The visitor blew smoke like a tar kiln. “Twain” grew restless. Beads of cold perspiration liegan to gather on hi» brow. He felt dizzy and seasick. Then, throwing down his pipe, he hastily un locked the door and fled. On the sidewalk he met a friend. .. y __ “Helloa, Clemens, what’s the matter?” Twain told him what had occurred. ‘•Oh, you mean that fellow in brown jeaiwf’ “Yea" “You ought to have had better sense than to light your pipe in his presence. He’s a member of the Arkansaw legislature.” A Free <*1 lm.tr- "Look herol” she exclaimed. “This is ter rible. You charge me twenty-five cents for that card of buttons, aud back east I cofcld get them for ten cents.” “Yes, ma'am, but just think of the elegant climate you get throwed in with every card of buttons.”—Santa Barbara (CaL) Preae.