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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (June 13, 1902)
HOOD mVEK GLACIER SUPPLEMENT.
HOOD RIVER, OREGON, JUNE 13, 1902.
JOLLY UNCLE JOSH
INTEODICES SOME YOUNG EEIA
TIVES f m THE EAST TO THE
MEN OE HOOD RIVER
June 1st witnessed a stir in' a
little village way ilown in Pike
county, Missouri. Surely nothing
hut a wedding could make such an
"excitement among, the female por
tion of the population, or draw
such a throng to the little church
on a busy week day as gathered
there on that bright June morning.
And a wediling it was Miss Polly
Summers a n d Charley ,
whom every young man in the
church regarded as the luckiest
fellow in the country, but decided
that this was the best day inas
much as it was the earliest possible
under the circumstances, in which
to take each other for better or
Hut a slight cloud rested upon"
the groom's brow that morning,
even as he stood up beside his
pretty bride to receive the minis
ter's blessing. It; shaped itself
something like this:
"After this little business is over,
what am I going to do with this
little wife of mine ? Where are we
going to live and how are we going
to subsist ?"
After the ceremony, just as ('bar
ley was pondering over how he
might best pierce the crowd and
land his precious burden upon the
outgoing humeseekers excursion
train for Oregon, a persistant little
youngster sidled up. to, Polly and
slipped an envelope into her hand.
Once on board the train, it didn't
take Polly long to discover that
the letter was from" "Dear Uncle
Josh," (the lion. Joshua Tomp
kins), an old bachelor and a pio
neer of Hood River, Wasco county,'
Oregon, 'rich, generous and level
headed, and one of the largest
strawberry and fruit grower in the
Hood River Valley, who proposed
if the yining couple would start at
once for Oregon and help him
harvest his berry crop he would
start them out in life as a wedding
"By Jove ! It's the very thing!"
said Charley, and ironi that mo
ment the question was settled and
a load was lifted off his mind.
Alter a pleasant, trip the party
arrived iir Hood River and were
met at the train by Uncle Josh.
They were driven at once to his
palatini residence oil nob Hill
where' a sumptions breakfast had
been prepared for tin- newly wed-d'-d
"'When breakfast is over," re
marked I'licicjosh, '"1 must take
you for a drive around town, and
then we will plueced at once to get
things in shape for your'home. To
cxpediate niatt rs I'll have the
Transfer and 1. ivory Co.. our en
terprising liM'vmen, send up a
rig." When the handsome rig.
with elaborate trapping nnd pran
cing horses, dn w up in front of the
holism Pnllv . .-hired it a turnout
lit for a itiet i,. "Ye-sir," replied
Uncle Josh, that's a pretty neat
rig. and tin three S's. speed, safety
and stvle an- the Transfer and
Livery Go's coat of arms. They
take great pride in their fashionable
turnouts, and their stock is always
kept in the best condition. They
have one of the handsomest stables
to be found in the northwest, so
young folks, when you want to
take a drive, either for business or
for pleasure go to them for a rig
every time and they will treat ,you
right. It was in one of the Trans
fer & Livery Co's swell turnouts
the trip around town was made.
"I am ready to buy your outfit; so
what's iirst on the program?"
''Oh, goodness knows; there's lots
to buy. remarked Polly.
"Then suppose we buy lotsfirst,"
"Oh, you've got a great head for
business," laughed Uncle Josh.
"We'll go right over to Friday &
Barm s' real estate and insurance
olllee. I can always depend on
them for bargains in real estate
because whatever they tell us about
property may be set down as solid
facts. They control a large list of
city residence property, ranch and
timber lands, and their judgment
on the good things is par excellence.
They control large tracts of land
in Eastern Oregon and Washing
ton, and you can buy anything of
them from a ten-acre fruit tract to
a ranch covering thousands of
acres. Accordingly Friday &
Barnes' office was visited and Mr.
Barnes was invited to accompany
the party on their drive and before
returning had sold Uncle Josh for
his wards some splendid property
including a ranch in the country
adjoining Uncle Josh's own place
in the Hood River Valley and some
choice residence property in town.
"The next thing to see about"
remarked Uncle Josh, is the lum
ber for the house. Davenport Bros.
Lumber Co., are the dealers in that
line here. We'll find everything
there from the sills for the founda
tion to the shingles for the roof.
Davenport Bros.' oilice was visited
and Uncle Josh was soon busily
engaged with figures, blue-prints
'plans, etc. It did not take him
long to come to an agreement with
Mr. Shore the local manager for the
building material., Uncle Josh
placed an order for all of the lum
ber needed for the new house to be
erected in town, and for all of the
improvements on the ranch. Uncle
Josh said that if a man could not
get everything he wanted in lum
ber and mill work at Davenport
Bros., he would certainly he hard
"Having provided a rugp for the
bird" remarked Cnele .lisli,"tlie next
thing to look after is the furnishings
for it." Hereupon Polly energetically"'
declared tliat slie had heard so much
about S. K. Harmless' him store that
she had decided to pi there. The re
sult was that they were ushered into
such a liewildcring display that the
girl w us at a loss- as to how to se
lect. Hut she soon yielded to the se
ductiveness of a mngnilicent parlor
suite, dressers. chiffoniers and a hand
some brass-t rimed led foiNneli room.
To t his she added an easy rocker
for Uncle .losh and didn't forgot a
"most convenient and ornamental
writing desk for "hubby." After the
furniture had lieen .selected. I'.arte
laoss showed them carpets, wall
iaier, pict are frames, etc. Polly or
dered linoleum for the kitchen, Brus
sels for the parlor and an Axminster
for the library and everything- inrrs
surv to furnish the house f: om cellar
to garret. (Jet every tiling you need,"
suggested I'nele.losh. for Hurt moss'
prices cannot be equalled .and there is
no need of sending to Portland for
anything as lontf as we have such a
house in town.
A pretty good start, says the old
man. "and now we'll visit J. K. Baud's
big general merchandise sttire, your
introduction to Hoqd Kiver would
be incomplete without an Introduct
ion to my old friend J. 10. Hand, lie
is one of our oldest niorcbents and
there you'll tiiulevery thing under one
roof. You'll liml everything there
from a barrel of flour to n paper of
Polly was soon busily engaged in
selecting the kitchen utensils for the
new house. "You can get just what
you want" commented Uncle Josh.
"There is not an establishment in
this county that carries a more com
prehensive stock of cooking machi
nery." Every possible piece of kitch
en furniture from a tin dipper to a
conking range is herein all styles and
variety. If Polly fails to accomplish
wonders in the etillinar.v art' it w ill
not le for the want of superior cook
ing utensils' for she purchased n Su
perior range and a Perfection, wick
less, blue-flume quirk meal oil stove
with all other equipments needed in a
well regulated kitchen, while' ('hurley
ordered two Hridge & Beach celebra
ted air-tight wood heaters for the
library, coal heater for the parlor, ail
of whiclt Cnele Josh paid for with
delight, because lie knew that .Mr.
Hand had treated him right, Just as
lie always treats everybody.
"You can't do much housekeeping
without dishes, crockery and such,"
suggested Uncle Josh. .1. U. Hand
bus one of the biggest stocks of
crockery and glassware found In
Wasco county, ami I warrant that
his prices are as low us they can be
purchased in Portland, or elsewhere,
for that matter. So pick out what
you want, and I'll foot the bill."
Polly was soon busily engaged In
selecting a complete outfit of house
hold crockery, from dishes to glass
ware, anil she declared that the
quality of the goods was superior
anil t lie prices lower than could be
purchased "hack east."
All of a sudden Polly's inquisitive
eyes fell on the shoe department,
"Oh me ! Oh my!" she ejaculated,
"what a perfectly lovely slipper."
"Yes," said Uncle Josh, "J. K. Rand's
stock of foot wear can't be equaled
in style and extent in tills section,
look it over." It might have been
policy not. to have extended that
invitation, had not Uncle Josh known
what wise economy it is to trade at
J. K. Hand's, for Polly found goods
and prices so seductive that she pur
chased an outfit from a pretty slipper
to a handsome, walking boot.
Charley invested in gent's walking
shoes, while Uncle Josh indulged in a
stout boot, with rublsTs for the
crowd. With an eye to cold weather,
Uncle Josh suggested toCbarley that
they yould need Gorman socks. No
a supply of this comfortable foot
wear was purchased.
At tliis point, somewhat to thocon
fusion of Charley, the old man indulg
ed in a half serious criticism of ids
personal appearance. "You are de
cidedly off style for a townsman,"
said lie, "and we'd liettcr have a
talk with Kami about some now
duds." After Charles had fitted him
self in a new suit of clothing from
t lie piles of fashionable garments
that covered the tallies of this exten
sively stocked department. Uncle
Josh declared: "Now yon look like a
newly married man. That suit is a
beauty and the clothing sold by
Hand cannot lie equalled for style, tit
and quality. Their .$7..".u and nu
suits which they are at present offer
lug, are attracting attention all over
the county." Before lea ving. having
found goods and prices irresistible.
'Charles also invested in a com
plete outfit of gents' furnishings-,
from the late stylo hat to a down
shirts, ami he readily admitted that
Uncle Josh took him to the right
place when ho took iihn to the lead
ing gentlemen furnishers of Hood
"You might as well lay in your
groceries while you are at it, never
neglect your larder said he. "That
Important adjunct to housekeeping
controls masculine temper. To that
end you must patronize a grocer
upon whom you can depend for hon
est goods. Through a long term of
years I have found J. JO. Hand, the
grocer and provision dealer, perfectly
reliable. You will find his store al
ways fully stocked with every possi
blething in the line of stuple and
fancy groceries; fresli and first class.
no shelf worn goods there; while the
I vices are down to brass tacks. You
will also find there the best brands
of teas ami coffees to be found in
Hood Hivor, and always fresh cream-,
cry butter and ranch eggs and feed.
To kevp pence In the family get all
your groceries of J. K. Hand, 'cause
lie keeps many choice delicacies not
to Is' found in every grocery you run
Before leaving J. K. Hand's Polly
laid in a lull supply of dresses, gloves,
hosiery,' corsets, etc. "The stock
you'll find here," remarked Uncle
Josh, "is seldom soon outside the
largest metropolitan cities, and you
are sure to he guided right in your
selections. Von will find J. K's. a
pleasant place to trade, while the
prices caiiin it be duplicated." It did
not take Polly long to tell a bargain
when she saw one. She got a hand
some dress wit li all necessary trim
mings, a pretty jacket and fur col
larette, besides several other articles
of "fantastic disarray" so dear to'
the heart of every woman.
"Halt!" commanded Uncle Josh,
as t lie party en me in front of Will
lams' Pharmacy. "Walk right in."
Why, Cnele. we're not sick, and "
"(iuoss I know that, but I suspect
that It won't be loiignnlil this young
man begins to take an interest in
matters of paragoric and" Uncle!'
"We'll go in anyway. Polly will
Hud a good many toilet articles she
wants, and you want to get acquaint
ed at this drug store for here you'll
find all the standard patent remedies
stationery, writing materials, etc.
Before leaving, Polly -was loaded
down with combs, brushes, face
powders anil several bottles of tine
imported perfumes. "Don't forgot."
added Undo Josh, "to come here
with your prescript ions us Air. Will
iams is a competent pharmacist, and
pays particular attention to that
department and don't use anything
but pure and reliable- drugs, for he
buys only the best and gets them
direct from the manufacturers in the
original packages. "You'll need
spraying material, too," suggested
Uncle Josh, ."and will find everything
here in that line, and also one of the
U'st stocks of cigars in tow n.
"Yum.' yum!" laughingly escaped
Polly's rosebud Hps as she sized up
the candies, chocolates and bonbons
in the window s at Cole & Wright 's
confectionery and tobacco store.
"I'ncie Josli; you know I've got a
sweet tooth, and those candies look
so nice I just can't resist the tempta
tion." Charley here objected. because he
know if poly once got started on
IMAGINE BUGGIES AND HACKS
Bain TdS7) Farming
Wagons J;!H Imple-
I -riA '-J4 ,' Btt 3e I
candles here's whore she'd want to
stay. He relented, however, when
Uncle Josh said "They are all home
made, fresh and pure, my boy." So,
after regaling themselves on delicious
hot taffy, the girl loaded up onchoeo
lates ami bonbons enough to make
every tooth in the city ache.
Uncle Josh called the party's at
tention to the soda fountain. Cole
& Wright's is the best place in town
for soda water," said he,i "'and the
ice cream made by this tirni cannot
"We'll just liavesome now," plead
ed Polly. So the whole party in-(
dulgod in ice cream and Ice cream
soda. Polly was a splendid judge of
sweetness, and she indulged in pro
fuse compliments to what she found
at Cole & Wright's.
"(ireat smoke, Charley. Where In
the name of creation did you get that
snipe? That's about the worst weed
that ever came in contact with my
olfactory nerve." laughingly renin i k
ed Uncle Josh, you must have bought
that cigar back in Missouri. Mr.
Cole give the boy a Schiller and then
he'll havea gontleinan'ssnioke. Cole
& Wright'scigarsare proven and t hoy
take great pride in keeping up this
brand to the highest standard, and
consequently they grow more popu
lar every day. Charley was so well
pleased with the Schiller that Cnele
Josh treated him to that lie bought
a whole box and advised his uncle to
to do the same. The matter was
compromised by Charley taking a
box of Schiller.
While Undo Josh with an eye to
economy and a good smoke at the
same time selected a box of t he cele
brated I "areola" " cent cigar, not for
getting to make notes of the Cole A:
Wright's tine display of other cigars,
tobaccos, pipesnud smoker's articles.
"While we arc about it, snfd Un
cle Josh, "we may as well get an
jOquipage for taking in some of the
beautiful scones and pleasant drives
' throglioiit the valley and t In place
to buy a carriage is from Mr. X. W.
Bono, who handles the finest line of
vehicles ever brought to Hood Kiver.
There you will linil just what you
want." After a brief, inspection of
the handsome ti;aps carried by Air.
Bone, (one of which is illustrated on
this page.) an order was placed for
one of the best that money could
purchase and Polly rejoiced in the
anticipation of many delightful trips
through the beautiful Hood Kiver val
ley, while Charley, with a more prac
tical turn of mind, and with a view
to future needs made a careful survey
of the-wagons and implements which
.Mr. Bone sells, nnd decided that he
hud found Just the place for future
purchases along this line.
Upon summing up the wonderful
events of the day Polly begun L
volubly express thanks. 'You have
bought us every tiling." she exclaimed.
'Only one thing, replied Uncle Josh
reflectively, but lean remedy that.
S. !;. Burliness, the furniture dealer
always has a nice line of them, and
you can get one whenever you want
it: I'll pay for the best.
W-ii-y ! exclaimed Polly wilh great
surprise. Uncle, what can it lie?
Well it't a baby carriage for t he
But folly had fainted.